What do you think?
Rate this book
The Spy Who Couldn't Count
Inflicting Christian names like Jefferson Youll on a young lad already saddled with a surname like Patbottom is a sufficient handicap for anyone, but if you have the misfortune to be educated at somewhere like Watlington County Grammar and end up as thick as a plank and can’t even count, life gets very tricky indeed.
Settling for Jyp and braving a succession of dead end jobs, he finds sanctuary in a Government statistics department dealing with figures, much to the hilarity of his father. To escape the amorous attentions of his ever helpful colleague, Jyp panics and dives into another office where he is recruited by one of Britain’s security departments after a hilarious interview in which he is mistaken for a trained spy killer. Despite his initial bumbling efforts, he takes on a fight to unmask a series of trusted spies in the heart of Whitehall in a desperate battle to win the hand of his true love.
Settling for Jyp and braving a succession of dead end jobs, he finds sanctuary in a Government statistics department dealing with figures, much to the hilarity of his father. To escape the amorous attentions of his ever helpful colleague, Jyp panics and dives into another office where he is recruited by one of Britain’s security departments after a hilarious interview in which he is mistaken for a trained spy killer. Despite his initial bumbling efforts, he takes on a fight to unmask a series of trusted spies in the heart of Whitehall in a desperate battle to win the hand of his true love.
214 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 6, 2017
30 people are currently reading
39 people want to read
About the author
Michael N. Wilton
29 books11 followersMichael Wilton, writing as Michael N.Wilton
Following National Service in the RAF, I returned reluctantly to banking until an opportunity arose to pursue a career in writing. After working as press officer for an engineering company, I was asked to set up a central press office as group press officer for an engineering company, then moved to become publicity manager for a fixed wing and helicopter charter company where I was involved in making a film of the company's activities at home and overseas. I became so interested in filming that I joined up with a partner to make industrial films for a number of years, in which I was responsible for preparing treatments and scripting, before ending my career handling research publicity for a national gas transmission company. With the advent of self publishing, I have written several books - a romantic comedy, as well as two children's books.I am a life member of the Writers Guild. For more details, see my web site: www.michaelwilton.co.uk.
Following National Service in the RAF, I returned reluctantly to banking until an opportunity arose to pursue a career in writing. After working as press officer for an engineering company, I was asked to set up a central press office as group press officer for an engineering company, then moved to become publicity manager for a fixed wing and helicopter charter company where I was involved in making a film of the company's activities at home and overseas. I became so interested in filming that I joined up with a partner to make industrial films for a number of years, in which I was responsible for preparing treatments and scripting, before ending my career handling research publicity for a national gas transmission company. With the advent of self publishing, I have written several books - a romantic comedy, as well as two children's books.I am a life member of the Writers Guild. For more details, see my web site: www.michaelwilton.co.uk.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
June 12, 2020
More like Mr. Bean than James Bond, Jefferson Youll Patbottom, a.k.a. Jyp, accidentally becomes a very English spy in this farcical story that’s heavy on laughs at the expense of everyone. It’s definitely a send-up of clueless bureaucrats in the ranks of the British Civil Service and bosses who cheat and some whose lives revolve around golf. Check out this exchange between the golfing boss and Jyp:
“Let’s see you tee up.”
“I’ve had a drink, thanks.”
“I mean how you address the ball.”
The novel gives new meaning to the Peter Principle where employees rise to the level of their incompetence. Only in this book, just about everyone is incompetent. Especially Jyp.
If you’re looking for a light read filled with silliness that makes you chuckle, then this might be your cuppa tea.
“Let’s see you tee up.”
“I’ve had a drink, thanks.”
“I mean how you address the ball.”
The novel gives new meaning to the Peter Principle where employees rise to the level of their incompetence. Only in this book, just about everyone is incompetent. Especially Jyp.
If you’re looking for a light read filled with silliness that makes you chuckle, then this might be your cuppa tea.
May 1, 2018
Having recently read a number of very emotional dramas this book was just what I needed. A lighthearted and quintessentially English comedy that reminded me a bit of the "Carry On" series. It is a fun read, which will make you smile all the way through. I particularly enjoyed the way the author poked fun at the English establishment such as the civil service. I'm sure I've met some of the characters described in this book!
August 14, 2020
A Comedy of Errors worthy of a true British Farce
If you can recall the Brian Rix farces, or relate to Mr Bean and the excellent P G. Wodehouse, then this excellent novel will appeal to you.
I should say at the start that although I started reading this fast paced, rapidly changing story of Jefferson Patbottom, aka, Jyp, and how he falls into being an inadvertently successful spy, as a light, jolly and very British, funny story, I saw below the surface a deeper more critical commentary. I am not sure if this is intentional by the author, but to me, the narrative highlighted all that might be seen as ‘posh boys’ playing at espionage, regardless of the consequences and the players are, as the Americans say, collateral damage. I actually found this believable.
I cannot begin to give you a hint at the story as it changes so rapidly and the pin ball narrative bounces our innumerate hero from bumper to bumper, no respite as he often falls upon the flippers to re-enter the affray, except, I loved the aunt (a book for her would be good) who is more than she seems and, life hits Jyp face on, never knowing exactly what is happening.
And here an advice note: I am a terribly slow reader. I argue it is because I read into plots and learn from writing style and structure, this is a book that probably needs to be read at speed, but in truth, my sluggish, procrastinating, reading style, did not detract from my enjoyment when I got into the swing and, my dictionary of posh expletives has expanded.
I can recommend this book. The characters are well drawn and they behave as their caricature would suggest they should. There is subterfuge, unrequited love, romance on the run and hidden, violence (in a very British way) and, if you enjoy, good -v- evil, you will be well satisfied.
I’ve consulted with the Civil Service and Binky recommends 5 stars, as do I- so get your skates on old bean…
If you can recall the Brian Rix farces, or relate to Mr Bean and the excellent P G. Wodehouse, then this excellent novel will appeal to you.
I should say at the start that although I started reading this fast paced, rapidly changing story of Jefferson Patbottom, aka, Jyp, and how he falls into being an inadvertently successful spy, as a light, jolly and very British, funny story, I saw below the surface a deeper more critical commentary. I am not sure if this is intentional by the author, but to me, the narrative highlighted all that might be seen as ‘posh boys’ playing at espionage, regardless of the consequences and the players are, as the Americans say, collateral damage. I actually found this believable.
I cannot begin to give you a hint at the story as it changes so rapidly and the pin ball narrative bounces our innumerate hero from bumper to bumper, no respite as he often falls upon the flippers to re-enter the affray, except, I loved the aunt (a book for her would be good) who is more than she seems and, life hits Jyp face on, never knowing exactly what is happening.
And here an advice note: I am a terribly slow reader. I argue it is because I read into plots and learn from writing style and structure, this is a book that probably needs to be read at speed, but in truth, my sluggish, procrastinating, reading style, did not detract from my enjoyment when I got into the swing and, my dictionary of posh expletives has expanded.
I can recommend this book. The characters are well drawn and they behave as their caricature would suggest they should. There is subterfuge, unrequited love, romance on the run and hidden, violence (in a very British way) and, if you enjoy, good -v- evil, you will be well satisfied.
I’ve consulted with the Civil Service and Binky recommends 5 stars, as do I- so get your skates on old bean…
March 17, 2020
A distinctly British charmer! Light and breezy, but in a good way—fun as opposed to pretentious.
I watched a lot of British television on PBS when I was growing up—things like Fawlty Towers and Are You Being Served, along with Mr. Bean on HBO—and this book reminded me of them a little bit in terms of the humor and witty writing, so The Spy Who Couldn't Count will probably appeal to fans of those shows as well. The plot builds up steadily throughout the course of the book and culminates in a very English happy ending.
As an American, there were some words and phrases that I had to look up (“budgie”, “scarpered”, etc), but they don’t detract from the story, and I imagine British readers won’t have this problem. Besides, I like books that make you work a little bit to understand them. And the way this book skewers the establishment class is something that can be appreciated by any person of any nationality, I’m sure.
I liked it enough that I'm probably going to check out another of the author's books!
I watched a lot of British television on PBS when I was growing up—things like Fawlty Towers and Are You Being Served, along with Mr. Bean on HBO—and this book reminded me of them a little bit in terms of the humor and witty writing, so The Spy Who Couldn't Count will probably appeal to fans of those shows as well. The plot builds up steadily throughout the course of the book and culminates in a very English happy ending.
As an American, there were some words and phrases that I had to look up (“budgie”, “scarpered”, etc), but they don’t detract from the story, and I imagine British readers won’t have this problem. Besides, I like books that make you work a little bit to understand them. And the way this book skewers the establishment class is something that can be appreciated by any person of any nationality, I’m sure.
I liked it enough that I'm probably going to check out another of the author's books!
June 30, 2020
This is a fun – family-friendly zany tale about Jyp who literarily has no idea how to count. Imagine Inspector Clouseau and Mr. Bean rolled into one as a young clueless man. The voice of the story, Michael N. Wilton, presents his tale with a slightly dated, upper-crust British accent that firmly cements the tone in a kind of Monty Python atmosphere where the Civil Service management jumps to assumptions at every turn to elevate Jyp - who happens to be as confused as a Chinese tourist swept up in a gay pride parade.
You know as soon as you begin reading this tale you’re in for some crazy twist and turns all plowing forward into a happy ever after ending, a good way to end any book. Highly recommended for those who want an easy-breezy break from reality without having to burn up brain cells trying to understand what’s really going on.
You know as soon as you begin reading this tale you’re in for some crazy twist and turns all plowing forward into a happy ever after ending, a good way to end any book. Highly recommended for those who want an easy-breezy break from reality without having to burn up brain cells trying to understand what’s really going on.
July 11, 2020
The Spy who Couldn’t Count is a rollicking, fast moving comedy romance that could only come from a British author. Jyp is a lovable, strange character who falls in and out of trouble. Julie is his long suffering girlfriend, Aunt Cis is the enigmatic ex-spy and there is Patience, a girl looking for love and hoping that Jyp is the answer. Add in a succession of bumbling, crooked spies and allow the author to weave his magic.
This is a book you won’t want to put down. The text draws you in from the start as you wish to see what crazy adventure the numerical dyslectic Jyp will fall into next.
Absolutely recommended.
This is a book you won’t want to put down. The text draws you in from the start as you wish to see what crazy adventure the numerical dyslectic Jyp will fall into next.
Absolutely recommended.
July 19, 2020
If you remember Tom Sharpe’s books with pleasure, then you will enjoy this book.
The plot isn’t really the point; but the laughs continue through a series of misadventures involving a search for spies, a female stalker intent on marriage and, as one critique put it, the inadequacies of the British establishment.
This is the old school of British comedy romance with a hero who seems to be severely dyslexic as he can’t even be sure if numbers are the right way up.
Harrowing thrillers or emotional dramas are all very well, but sometimes we need a break, and the hilarious adventures of a hero who mistakenly manages to get himself into the security services will do the trick.
The plot isn’t really the point; but the laughs continue through a series of misadventures involving a search for spies, a female stalker intent on marriage and, as one critique put it, the inadequacies of the British establishment.
This is the old school of British comedy romance with a hero who seems to be severely dyslexic as he can’t even be sure if numbers are the right way up.
Harrowing thrillers or emotional dramas are all very well, but sometimes we need a break, and the hilarious adventures of a hero who mistakenly manages to get himself into the security services will do the trick.
April 18, 2020
Jefferson Youll Patbottom (Jyp for short) has no head for figures, a shortcoming that often leads him into difficulties. Somehow, though, his handicap ends up working to his advantage in this light-hearted comic novel that is more reminiscent of Benny Hill than of James Bond. In a time of anxiety, some humor can be just the right thing.
July 13, 2020
Weird, wacky and very funny
Michael Wilton so much reminds me of Tom Sharpe with typical British comedy. this hilarious take on the spying game as jyo somehow manages to get himself recruited by the security services and his life takes a whole new turn. Very funny, but it's what you now expect from this author.
Michael Wilton so much reminds me of Tom Sharpe with typical British comedy. this hilarious take on the spying game as jyo somehow manages to get himself recruited by the security services and his life takes a whole new turn. Very funny, but it's what you now expect from this author.
April 13, 2018
Lots of fun. A funny story that keeps you laughing. Not to be read if you expect a serious spy story.
August 2, 2020
Looking for a bit of fun? Look no further. this one will have you chuckling. A nice little romp. Good read.
April 13, 2021
Good story, a few mistakes via kindle for example the character Julie is at one point called Judie. I found the end disappointing it seemed to stop all of a sudden as if it was the end of a chapter.
February 28, 2019
Weird, wacky and very funny.
Here's another dose of very funny mickey taking by Mr. Wilton. This time he turns his attention to the 'faceless' mandarins of Whitehall as the spymasters who control our security services as they appoint one disaster after another to run a vital department controlling illegal immigration. Our 'hero', Jyp, is somehow hired as a 'spy' despite having no experience in the trade. Not helped by a total lack of a head for figures, Jyp somehow uncovers one flaw after another in those appointed to run his department while being romantically pursued by Patience, though he is in love with the boss's secretary, Julie. Cue laughter as the hapless spy gets into one tangle after another in a great parody of the whole security business. I really enjoyed this one, even more than the previous book by this author that I have read.
Here's another dose of very funny mickey taking by Mr. Wilton. This time he turns his attention to the 'faceless' mandarins of Whitehall as the spymasters who control our security services as they appoint one disaster after another to run a vital department controlling illegal immigration. Our 'hero', Jyp, is somehow hired as a 'spy' despite having no experience in the trade. Not helped by a total lack of a head for figures, Jyp somehow uncovers one flaw after another in those appointed to run his department while being romantically pursued by Patience, though he is in love with the boss's secretary, Julie. Cue laughter as the hapless spy gets into one tangle after another in a great parody of the whole security business. I really enjoyed this one, even more than the previous book by this author that I have read.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews