The INFJ Personality Guide: Understand yourself, reach your potential, and live a life of purpose.

by Bo Miller

If you're an INFJ, you know what it feels like to be misunderstood. You long to be appreciated for who you are, but most people just don't get you because you have the rarest personality type on the planet. 

But that can all change when you understand yourself better!

In this book, you'll discover...Your greatest strengthsYour weaknessesWhy the rest of the world thinks differently than youWhy you're so good at discerning people's thoughts, motivations, and feelingsHow to set better boundariesHow to cultivate healthy relationshipsWhat to do when you get down or depressedCareer adviceHow to manage your thoughtsHow to make your creative ideas, insights, and visions a realityHow to communicate more effectively with other personality typesHow to handle criticism without getting your feelings hurtThis book is divided into three

INFJ preferences INFJ functionsHow to develop your personality and reach your potentialAbout the Author

Bo Miller is an INFJ and a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner who's passionate about understanding the sixteen personality types - especially the INFJ. He knows what it's like to feel misunderstood and has personally experienced the life-changing benefits of understanding his personality type and "getting himself."  

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Development, Science

110 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 4, 2017

Reviews

[Piyush Bhatia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine reading something that feels like your own thoughts coming to life on the page – that's exactly how I felt reading this book about INFJs. As an INFJ myself, I could relate to every word and the book resonated deeply with me.

The book is a combination of psychology, self - help and personal development. Almost entirely, I never read self - help books, but I read this one since - number one - it caught my attention because of its focus on practical psychology, a domain which I'm always keen to explore; number two, it was about INFJs (something which I absolutely adore reading about), and number three, I had started reading this one in 2022, but couldn't culminate, and I wanted to finish one more book before 2024 ended.

Reading the book felt like "poetry in motion" - the words flowing like "butter in a hot dish" - perfectly capturing the INFJ mindset – our strengths, weaknesses, and thinking patterns to the 'core'. The depth and authenticity of the writing reflect the author's own INFJ perspective. I’m confident that every INFJ will find themselves in this book.

I'd heartfully appreciate, if all the fellow readers and the people readigng this review would suggest me more such works about INFJs.

5/5 stars !

PS : Writing the first review of 2025 on the first day of the (English) calendar year is itself an ecstasy for a reader!
Happy New Year !

[Mark Pulsifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

INFJs - You are not alone! Amazing how accurate Bo Miller's book is

Especially useful for people in their teens and twenties.

Wish it was written and I read it when I was in my teens. It could have at least helped me understand my suffering and accept myself better, even if I still would have struggled to fit in somewhere in society.

Altho you can get it for free, I paid the $0.99 to let the author know I appreciate his book/message. You should consider doing the same.

[Carina Shephard · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars // read September 2022

Not why this took me so long to read, but it’s a great introduction to the INFJ personality type. Will this actually help you “understand yourself, reach your potential, and live a life of purpose”? I’m not sure about the last two, but this was the first time I really *clicked* with a type, and identified with most of the descriptions.

“ Most people who know me well can’t spend an hour with me without hearing three or four puns - or ridiculous jokes.”

Yep, definitely me.

It was also refreshing to read a MBTI book from an (implicitly) Christian perspective- most of the resources available come from a vague spiritual-ish perspective that makes me somewhat uncomfortable.

All in all, I’d recommend this to you if: you have an interest in personality types/MBTI, have typed as an INFJ (but maybe aren’t 100% positive), or are close to an INFJ individual and want to know how to relate to them better. 🙂

[Beth Gea · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you were to break INFJ work down to a formula, it would look like this: privacy + originality + helping others = satisfying work

Es una buena guía introductoria a la personalidad INFJ.

No ofrece mucha información diferente si ya has leído otras cosas sobre INFJ o llevas tiempo investigando sobre este tipo de personalidad (lo que me imagino que habrás hecho si eres INFJ, por que es lo que hacemos :P)

Lo que quizás sería interesante es dar esta guía a personas cercanas a nosotras para que entiendan mejor cómo funciona este tipo de personalidad y cuáles son nuestras preferencias a la hora de procesar información y de relacionarnos con el mundo.

Es una descarga gratuita que puedes encontrar en el blog del autor y es cortito, así que no pierdes nada en darle una oportunidad :)

[MinhTu Thomas Hoang · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more of a personal reflection than of a scientific research-driven book. The lack of facts can be unconvincing, but overall this book is still highly practical with helpful insights. And wisdom, also!

[Kerry Fannin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The validation of this book was wonderful.

I work as a hospice social worker and in helping others find validation and peace in their end-of-life issues is vital for those who are transitioning. I found this book to be a surprise in how validating it was for me as an INFJ and the need I have to create alone time in order for me to be at my best at work! Thank you!

[Victor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. I think it also helped that I read it not too long after reading Quiet by Susan Cain.

This book helped me put into practice a lot of what I'd learnt from Quiet and it also explained in better detail some of things which I didn't quite grasp when reading Quiet.

I would definitely recommend this book and especially to anyone who's read Quiet.

[Rebekah Giese Witherspoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I've ever read about navigating the joys and struggles of being an INFJ. Beautiful.

[Helen White · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of a handful of books I recently enjoyed on the subject of being an INFJ personality type (see my other reviews). I liked Bo's no nonsense approach and treatment of the practicalities of living with these traits ("hussle on the side" was his recommendation as regards using our creativity whilst bringing in the bread...but he's right "INFJs won't be happy doing work they love but struggling to get by financially"; we need to feel secure in our outer world, and perhaps have a little more than the basics of life, in order to be the creatives that we are). Definitely one of the better books I read on this topic.

[sol encuerpado · Rating 4 out of 5]

Está bien increíble, la verdad es que me hizo mucho sentido en mi vida y rescaté frases que me ayudan mucho a entender quién soy yo y por qué. La verdad es que este mundo de las personalidades está increíble para todas aquellas personas que tienen problemas para entender quienes son en realidad y quieren conocerse. A pesar de que no me identifico con todo lo que compone este tipo de personalidad, sí me llevo aprendizajes que me aportan mucho.

[Jordan McLean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really relatable as a fellow INFJ, I read it within an evening and it really resonated with my feelings and felt like he was talking about me in some sections. Great author.

[Zaya · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is some useful tidbits here. I was hoping for more. I felt like there was a lot of overlapping information.


----quotes
-get their energy from being alone
-talk less often
-work ideas out in their head
-language is one of their gifts
-best work when they are writing
-prefer to talk about a specific subject matter in depth
-tire quickly on conversations about weather, sports
-prefer to relate to fewer people at a time
-small group relationships
-love to help people solve problems
-able to manage large groups
-can handle large groups for only a short amount of time
-tend to disappear from people when it feels too overwhelming
-focus their energy
-highly sensitive
-sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, physical stimulates- coffee
-prefer quiet places
-prefer one or two people not crowds
-high moral standards
-great at looking at patterns and how they connect
-they have a hunch and often gut feelings about things
-amazing abilities to predict what is likely to happen in the future
-creative and innovative ways to make the world better
-begin with the end in mind
-learning new skills regularly
-empathize, caring
-judgers
-to do lists and calendars are a must
-excellent planners
-creatures of habit and routine

[Caitlyn]

I don't feel like I can give this a star rating because I don't feel like I'm the target audience for this book. Even though every test says I am INFJ, I find the whole "INFJs are so rare and special" shtick kind of cringy and hate talking about myself as a "personality type". Some things rang true, but I find talking about people in terms of their Meyers-Briggs irritating. Like, it's based in more real psychology than referring to people by their astrological signs, but it still feels reductionist.

Don't get me wrong, there was some solid advice about how to deal with going through the world as an introvert; how to deal with problems that arise from misunderstandings; and resolving conflicts with someone who thinks differently that you. Good stuff, genuinely. It just rubs me the wrong way to hear people say, "Yeah, that's so INFJ, amiright? Did you know, Nelson Mandela was an INFJ?" Just, like, no, okay? You sound like an ass.

If this book helps you I think that is great.

[Kim Mays · Rating 5 out of 5]

This explains me to me. Thanks!


This is a great book. I finished on one day. I highly recommend this book to ALL INFJs. Check out his podcast too. Nice info.

[Fini · Rating 4 out of 5]

My rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆
3.75

*get to know an infj by an infj* 😊

I mean he pretty much sums up what an INFJ is all about, a lot of it was relatable. Not everything, but most of it for me.
I didn't see it that much as a self-help book though, more of getting to know what an INFJ is like, and some of the experiences the author made as he got to understand his personality type.
Overall definitely a recommendation for those that want to get a better understanding of this MBTI type.
It's short, it's free on kindle ... also, the podcast by the author is really great !! So do check that one out if you're interested aswell.

[Cheryl Rutledge-Brennecke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I indentify

I am just learning about these personality types and can identify so much with the statements in this book. Although I am not certain yet that I am an INFJ or INTJ, I sure have learned a lot about myself reading this book and thereby able to give myself more grace.

[Alex Lindfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent summary of the INFJ, how this personality type tends to think and function and great tips if you are an INFJ yourself.

I would recommend this book for anyone who is an INFJ themselves or even for anyone who wants to understand the personality type better in order to understand us strange folk and why we act and behave the way we do.

Whilst this book may be too simplified for some, I think that complexity and depth is not its purpose, the purpose is more to help INFJ's understand themselves better and understand how they can use their personality as a gift to interact and function effectively in day to day life.

It also comes with helpful links to resources if you want to find out more information on particular topics covered within the book. I shall definitely make some time to explore some of these myself!

As an INFJ myself, I was surprised with how much this book resonated with me to a level that I almost felt like I was reading my own autobiography at times!

In summary this book is a short and practical guide for the INFJ, written from an INFJ's perspective. It provides information on how the INFJ thinks and tips on how to live a life true to you all in an inspiring and insightful manner. I would recommend this book to any INFJs out there (you are not alone!) and anyone else who wants to learn about INFJs but doesn't want all the complex jargon and tangents often associated with psychological and philosophical books.

[Cara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kind of freaky how spot on this book was for me. Glad for the quizzes and all the advice.

[Marcus Lagré · Rating 2 out of 5]

An interesting read, but definitely no definitive source of information on the INFJ personality type. There are several other, better sources for learning about MBTI. (I recommend 16personalities.com's permium profile.)

I find very little new information here that I haven't read elsewhere. I feel Miller generalises too much, using himself as the default. In the end, I find I learn more about Bo Miller than about myself. But, as such, it's interesting to find out in depth how another INFJ perceive himself and the world around him.

Some of his world views differ immensely from my own. For example, Miller finds religion and faith in God vital for his INFJ traits of a higher purpose. I, on the other hand, ascribe my atheism to the INFJ trait of uncovering truth and how things are connected - there is simply no room for the Christian concept of God in that context, as I see it. Spirituality? Sure. Religion? No.

However, this might be an interesting complementary read for the highly interested. And since it can be obtained free of charge, there's really no reason not to have a look.

[نهلة · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before reading this guide book, I was thinking that no body thinks like me.
I learned how to be a healthy INFJ
It helps me to understand myself more.
I recommend it to all INFJs.
Especially if you don't have an excellent English, this book have easy English words.

[Ashley Jacobs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I have only read a few, this was one of my favorite books about my Myers-Briggs personality type. The author did a great job explaining the four different functions of an INFJ. I had heard of these four functions before, but never went in depth with them. I am not yet an expert, but I understand them with a lot more clarity now. I feel like it will be a lot easier for me to discuss with other people why I am the way I am. That is, if I feel comfortable enough to open up to them ;) (One thing to know about INFJs is that we are very private individuals unless we feel comfortable with someone. We don’t like putting ourselves out there much.) The author does a great job of making fellow INFJs feel less alone in life, and like they are here for a reason. I finished the book with numerous nuggets of wisdom that I’m sure will help bring me closer to where I want to be in life. Another thing that I really liked about this book is that it provided numerous book recommendations that can help in my unique situation. I had never heard of many of them, but they seem like they will be extremely helpful.

[Gayathri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always felt slightly weird growing up like most INFJs. Not in an edgy I'm unique kind of way, but just different. To any INFJs who've felt different in a sad way: you're not alone and being on a different wavelength isn't bad!
This book (as one reader put it) explained ME to me. And almost knows me as much about me as me which was so creepy- (HOW ON EARTH DOES HE KNOW ME SO WELL)!!! I loved learning about intuition and how it's my most dominant function and how it explains so much of who I am. There so many times I know how a person is feeling or what their thinking without having any idea how I know, and I absolutely love searching for patterns, deep thinking etc. It's like reading a book about you :O
I'm not a personality nerd but seeing some representation is kinda fun sometimes :D
Whilst the first part was (Creepily) fun the advice wasn't so great. I don't think INFJs should change their conversation style. Towards the end the book wasn't so great but do consider picking it up if your INFJ.

[LB · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a lost and discouraged INFJ, this book was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits, recover my sense of self, and come home to a new sense of peace. Maybe that sounds a little intense, yet is apparently a common sentiment of INFJs discovering their personality type.

I identified with much of Bo’s experience as an INFJ. It’s a short and fast read—almost just an intro to the INFJ, but is laid out in much detail over a variety of topics, including how to communicate effectively and handle money, it is more like a guidebook to living life as an INFJ. Full of positivity, insight, and life hacks, with sprinklings of related resources in the areas we INFJs are likely to crave more info. I appreciate the validation to embrace our strengths and encouragement to overcome the challenges living in a world that isn’t likely to “get” us.

Thank you to Bo Miller for writing this book, making it available through your Podcast, and your message that WE ARE NOT ALONE!! This is a game changer for me.

[Adeoye Amurawaiye · Rating 5 out of 5]

INFJ's are highly intelligent, organized and logical, but also capable of enormous empathy and kindness. They have a complementary mix of cognitive functions that allows them remain grounded and focused while not losing touch of their humanity. This short book captures the essence of what it means to be an INFJ.

While not one myself, I've recommended this book to those who are. They are floored by how accurate the observations are. For a personality type that is so rare and so often misunderstood, it is refreshing to see their thoughts, feelings and beliefs validated and affirmed.

Yes, the author might make some generalizations that you as an INFJ may not agree with but its important to remember that no book will provide all the answers to why one behaves the way they do. After all we are further shaped by our unique backgrounds, our circumstances and our environment.

Still, this is a candid exposé into the minds of one of the most fascinating, utterly complex and passionate set of individuals one will ever meet.

[Dhara Parekh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am an INTP and I wanted to skim through this book to make sure it's helpful before gifting it to an INFJ friend who has been having an existential crisis. Instead, I ended up reading the entire book page to page. It made me understand more why I, as an INTP, click really fast with INFJs and vice-versa. They are so similar to us. I loved how the author didn't use the "we are a rare type, no one understands us, eff others, sensors suck" approach, which I have noticed happens a lot in the INFJ community. Bo Miller portrays the challenges INFJs face every day, especially with the ST types, but also gives wholesome, helpful suggestions to overcome the disparity. The entire theme of the book is accepting who we are, being true to ourselves, but also not asking others to change for you, but to change ourselves too, which is I think is really important in today's climate.

I am sure an INFJ would thoroughly enjoy this book.

[Masha Velikodnyy]

Insightful

This has been comforting more than anything. It was also shocking to see specific spot on resemblances, such as sensitivity to specific sounds or fabrics as well as specifically interest in C S Lewis material. As much research as I habe some I'm this topic it is true we seek a bigger !meaning in everything but to habe such spot on mirroring as C S Lewis was astonishing. I even at INE point said C S Lewis is !y only friend haha. Because I felt so !is understood by others. One thing I felt was very much me and wasn't mentioned in this book is that we aren't flatterers we are more direct and don't sugarcoat things. But again this was comforting because it helped see the positives and affirm that in fact we are great and we do not need to conform to others just because we seem to not quite fit in. Thank you for the great !material.

[purple the cat]

I was mistyped as INFP at first. I Also believed i was for years. I have also read a lot of infp books. Although it seems so similar, i feel like some facts are not truly applicable to me. The more i dig deep into INFP stack functions, The more I feel like something is off . So I started exploring into similar types (ISFP, INTP, INTJ, INFJ). After analyzing each types' stack functions, I finally found out i am INFJ. The first book I read after that is this book. Page by page, I feel so understood. My struggles, my fear, my motivation, my sensitivity. Surprised how author accurately describe me. another thing i like about this book is I feel so comforting when i am reading..... A lot of suggestions are actually helpful and applicable to me too. Thanks you

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've recently re-done my Myers Briggs evaluation, albeit a computer version, not with a trained interviewer, and found to have an INFJ personality. This book has helped me open my eyes to the fact that I'm not alone in how I think and behave; the fact that I've very observant about other people, and that I've always written funny observations about them; that when I'm devoted to my work, by energy moves inwards, trying to find connections to aid solutions. That my emotions often get in the way and am often over-sensitive to criticism. I'll be taking on the advice and researching more from the suggestions offered. Thanks Bo

[Coin eyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good and insightful book in to one of the rarest personality types.
I feel the book occasionally, and best mildly drifted in to personal preferences more than traits but to be fair having said that, how do you distinguish between what's you and what's your general personality trait?

Over all a really good book and I recommend anyone interested in how we work, or of you are a infj and want to know how you work then this is a great start and will help you (maybe even for the first time) feel more understood and become ok with feeling alone and misunderstood.

Your rare, embrace it, use it.

[Mangus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

I first discovered this personality type earlier in the year. I found interesting enough to look into the subject. Mr. Miller has written a thoughtful, informative, and timely guide for not only people who are this personality type, but the people who interact with them. I wish I had discovered this information earlier in my life, but everything happens when it supposed too some say. Please take the time to reading this information. I truly believe you will be the better for it.