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Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back
When Gretchen Carlson made the decision to "walk off the set" and speak up about sexual harassment in the workplace, she jumped off a cliff by herself, but it led to a new calling: empowering women to reclaim their power against any injustice.
After the former Miss America, mother of two, and star news anchor stood up, and spoke out, women all over the world joined the movement and began to take back their lives, careers, and dignity. Gretchen became the voice for the voiceless. BE FIERCE shares Gretchen's experience and powerful stories from the thousands of women who have reached out to her who refuse to submit to intimidation of any kind. Gretchen will also share the wisdom and research of lawyers, psychologists, and other experts helping to confront this problem and advance what has become an international conversation about women refusing to shut up and sit down.
After the former Miss America, mother of two, and star news anchor stood up, and spoke out, women all over the world joined the movement and began to take back their lives, careers, and dignity. Gretchen became the voice for the voiceless. BE FIERCE shares Gretchen's experience and powerful stories from the thousands of women who have reached out to her who refuse to submit to intimidation of any kind. Gretchen will also share the wisdom and research of lawyers, psychologists, and other experts helping to confront this problem and advance what has become an international conversation about women refusing to shut up and sit down.
301 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 17, 2017
62 people are currently reading
1407 people want to read
About the author
Gretchen Carlson
6 books34 followersGretchen Elizabeth Carlson is an American television commentator and author.
She was crowned the 1989 Miss America while representing her native state of Minnesota. She continues to work with the Miss America Pageant and has served as a national celebrity spokesperson. She also became one of Fox News' most prominent anchors.
She was crowned the 1989 Miss America while representing her native state of Minnesota. She continues to work with the Miss America Pageant and has served as a national celebrity spokesperson. She also became one of Fox News' most prominent anchors.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 100 reviews
November 1, 2017
Gretchen Carlson’s book grabs you from the very first page and does not let go. This is not a story of one person or one victim but of the near-rampant issue of sexual harassment that occurs in the workplace and in our society at large. This book is a must-read, not just for women, but for corporate executives, leaders in all positions, regardless of sector, and particularly fathers of daughters. Sexual harassment is not a women's problem. It is a problem that happens to women (and men). Sexual harassment is a societal issue, a business issue, a leadership issue and a men’s issue.
The facts in Carlson's book are jaw-dropping. The Department of Labor statistics estimate that 43,000 workplace rapes and sexual assaults take place each year, yet that number represents only about 20 percent of those incidents that are actually reported. On college campuses, one in five undergraduate women say they have experienced sexual harassment or assault, and only 12.5 percent of students actually reported it.
I urge you to buy this book and share it with a man, particularly a man in power who has a daughter. Men must take an active role in talking about sexual harassment. Senior-level business leaders (still 85 percent men) must choose to be visual, vocal advocates for women and stop turning a blind eye to an issue that we know exists.
The facts in Carlson's book are jaw-dropping. The Department of Labor statistics estimate that 43,000 workplace rapes and sexual assaults take place each year, yet that number represents only about 20 percent of those incidents that are actually reported. On college campuses, one in five undergraduate women say they have experienced sexual harassment or assault, and only 12.5 percent of students actually reported it.
I urge you to buy this book and share it with a man, particularly a man in power who has a daughter. Men must take an active role in talking about sexual harassment. Senior-level business leaders (still 85 percent men) must choose to be visual, vocal advocates for women and stop turning a blind eye to an issue that we know exists.
November 13, 2017
I very rarely read non-fiction, but I saw this on the shelf at work and I was like “what can former Miss America, former Fox anchor possibly have to say about sexual harassment?” (Even tho I knew she had arbitrated her own sexual harassment case this past year). Believe me I ate my own damn words. This was one of the best feminist rallying books I have read. Not only were there just heartbreaking stories and statistics, but there were actual common sense solutions and guides. There were common sense plans to follow in the cases of sexual harassment. There was a whole chapter (at least) on how men can be allies. Honestly, I say here in one sitting and read the entire book and now I want to buy the book so I can make notes in the margins....cause I don’t think the library I work at would appreciate my insight permanently inked onto their copy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 17, 2018
An eye-opener into the many obstacles we (women) face in the workplace when it comes to sexual harassment and gender inequalities. The most eye-opening parts for me were the sections about how HR and company policies are often not your friends if you decide to speak out about sexual harassment; in fact, many companies have policies that specifically create an atmosphere of secrecy and protection for the accused as opposed to the accuser. Coincidentally, I happened to be reading the section about HR while commuting home from work, and a man (who happened to work for HR) noticed and immediately asked me about it. Once I gave him a brief description of what I was reading, he actually added the book to his Amazon wishlist! It gave me hope that maybe people in HR can help us out.
In reading this book, I felt thankful that as a librarian, I work in a field mainly dominated by women and so I've never felt isolated in a male-dominated workplace. However, this also makes me feel for the women who do work in such places and who do not have any recourse for actions taken against them.
In reading this book, I felt thankful that as a librarian, I work in a field mainly dominated by women and so I've never felt isolated in a male-dominated workplace. However, this also makes me feel for the women who do work in such places and who do not have any recourse for actions taken against them.
December 25, 2021
This book found me at the exact moment when I needed it. I had just left a job due to egregious gender discrimination, the Harvey Weinstien scandal was in the future, and the #MeToo movement had not yet exploded. Be Fierce helped validate my own experiences, and my reaction to them; experiences that reflected a culture of hostility to women in the workplace.
While not a victim of sexual harrassment, I completely identified with the experience of being shamed and bullied based on non-conformance to misogynistic gender-based behavior norms. I particularly identified with the following excerpt relating to how women are subject to tone policing:
“Ah yes, ‘Tone”. I’ve heard this most of my life, as women do. We twist ourselves into pretzels to appear both warm and friendly and tough and competitive, and it can be a strain. How many of us have had the experience of ‘forgetting’ to smile because we’re concentrating on doing our work, only to be called an ‘ice queen’.
Ms. Carlson provides a compelling case that cyberbullying provides a bully pulpit for those who viciously degrade women. Women are routinely shamed, called vulgar names and threatened if they dare to voice an opinion, or share photos, or simply try to co-exist in the cyber community. This is a serious issue that silences many girls and women who learn quickly to stay out of view.
Ms. Carlson addresses many myths, including the oldest ploy in the book: Victim blaming: “We must reject the myth that women encourage harassment through their dress and demeanor, and place the focus on those doing the harassing.”
Women are doubly victimized, when they experience retaliation for reporting harassing behavior. This book includes many heart-breaking stories of brave women whose careers were destroyed when they spoke up about their sexual harassment. These stories are particularly of interest now that the dam of denial has been cracked; At long last, some women are being heard and believed, and some of the harassers are finally being held accountable. It is a start.
I recommend this book - particularly to anyone who believes that the current #Metoo movement overstates the problem. If you know someone who believes that harassment is not common; suggest that they talk to their mother, their wife, their daughters, their sisters about their experiences. And then listen to what they have to say. We all need to listen, to believe, and to change.
While not a victim of sexual harrassment, I completely identified with the experience of being shamed and bullied based on non-conformance to misogynistic gender-based behavior norms. I particularly identified with the following excerpt relating to how women are subject to tone policing:
“Ah yes, ‘Tone”. I’ve heard this most of my life, as women do. We twist ourselves into pretzels to appear both warm and friendly and tough and competitive, and it can be a strain. How many of us have had the experience of ‘forgetting’ to smile because we’re concentrating on doing our work, only to be called an ‘ice queen’.
Ms. Carlson provides a compelling case that cyberbullying provides a bully pulpit for those who viciously degrade women. Women are routinely shamed, called vulgar names and threatened if they dare to voice an opinion, or share photos, or simply try to co-exist in the cyber community. This is a serious issue that silences many girls and women who learn quickly to stay out of view.
Ms. Carlson addresses many myths, including the oldest ploy in the book: Victim blaming: “We must reject the myth that women encourage harassment through their dress and demeanor, and place the focus on those doing the harassing.”
Women are doubly victimized, when they experience retaliation for reporting harassing behavior. This book includes many heart-breaking stories of brave women whose careers were destroyed when they spoke up about their sexual harassment. These stories are particularly of interest now that the dam of denial has been cracked; At long last, some women are being heard and believed, and some of the harassers are finally being held accountable. It is a start.
I recommend this book - particularly to anyone who believes that the current #Metoo movement overstates the problem. If you know someone who believes that harassment is not common; suggest that they talk to their mother, their wife, their daughters, their sisters about their experiences. And then listen to what they have to say. We all need to listen, to believe, and to change.
November 28, 2017
Given my professional predilections, of course I had to read this book eventually, and after seeing Gretchen Carlson speak at a work event earlier this year, I was even more curious. How would she write about sexual harassment without discussing her own situation at Fox News? Her timing couldn't be better in terms of the national conversation and (hopefully) cultural shift taking place now around sexual harassment and assault. But can she nail it?
I think she does a reasonably good job. The book is a little scattered and could have been more cohesive, and she isn't really breaking a ton of new ground. But for those who are new to the issue but want to know what they can do, she explains things very well. And it's hard to expect too much right now while the sands are shifting daily if not hourly. Many are looking for ways to Be Fierce, and this book has a number of good strategies for that.
So consider this a good start that will bring more people into the movement, to be complemented by others who will certainly be jumping on this bandwagon (in a good way) in days ahead.
I think she does a reasonably good job. The book is a little scattered and could have been more cohesive, and she isn't really breaking a ton of new ground. But for those who are new to the issue but want to know what they can do, she explains things very well. And it's hard to expect too much right now while the sands are shifting daily if not hourly. Many are looking for ways to Be Fierce, and this book has a number of good strategies for that.
So consider this a good start that will bring more people into the movement, to be complemented by others who will certainly be jumping on this bandwagon (in a good way) in days ahead.
November 9, 2017
There's some useful information in here, but any woman who's dealt with discrimination and harassment (which is what? All of us?) is familiar with these statistics and anecdotes.
Largely, it's a book about how strong and powerful Ms. Carlson is (okay, we get it, lots of people wrote to her telling her how inspirational she was), how useful playing the violin was to her future life, and how awesome her kids are.
Largely, it's a book about how strong and powerful Ms. Carlson is (okay, we get it, lots of people wrote to her telling her how inspirational she was), how useful playing the violin was to her future life, and how awesome her kids are.
March 1, 2018
So I was torn on reading this book because I did love Gretchen’s first book, “Getting Real”, I always enjoyed her as a news anchor, and I fully believed and respected her sexual harassment claims when she left Fox News and her subsequent lawsuit against Roger Ailes.
Here’s the thing though, and I realize this is very controversial and still a hot button issue but I’m just gonna come right out and say it - I, personally, am really, REALLY over this whole #MeToo movement. It has been SO over politicized, dramatized and Hollywood-ized, that it now almost completely misses the mark and also delegitimizes and takes away from the true stories of all of the women who have dealt with ACTUAL sexual harassment as well as sexual assault, i.e. molestation and rape.
Not the ones who choose to put themselves in bad / negative situations. Not the ones who equate a butt tap or a catcall with gang rape. Not the ones who are straight up making false accusations just to be included as part of this. Not the ones who are so overtly politically correct that men practically can’t do or say anything at all to us now.
Also - #MeToo = #DidYouSayNo?
Just throwing that out there.
Sooo yeah. That’s basically how I feel about that. It’s pretty bitter, I understand. And don’t tell me I don’t understand what these women have gone through, because you have NO idea. Just because I’m not out there hash-tagging everything #MeToo everywhere does NOT mean that I haven’t been inappropriately taken advantage of as a woman by a man in my life because I have horror stories of my own I could drudge up if I so chose.
But I am absolutely done with what started as a completely legitimate conversation that needed to take place in this country becoming a preachy political / celebrity smear campaign.
ALL that being said to preface why, while I like Gretchen and I did fully believe her and felt that she came out with this ahead of the whirlwind insanity that would later take place surrounding sexual harassment, once she wrote a book about it, I didn’t know if I wanted to sit through being preached to anymore about this issue.
I decided I was game to give it a whirl though when I read the introduction was entitled: ‘Are You Done Taking Sh*t?’ I thought, “alright, I’m listening.”
Within the introduction though I was reminded how I am bothered that I felt Gretchen is/was playing both sides. She says that part of the problem is women accepting settlements to “shut up” about their experiences, yet that’s exactly what she did. She talks the whole #BeFierce movement and how women have to speak out, yet she settled her sexual harassment lawsuit with Twentieth Century Fox for $20 million and even states in the books’ intro “Many people have heard about the sexual harassment case I filed against my former boss. That lawsuit was settled, and there are things I can’t discuss about it. That’s the nature of a settlement.”
So she spends the whole book talking about other women’s courageous stories instead of her own. She would reflect on little pieces of dealing with it, but not on anything that she actually went through, except to say that throughout her life, she’s been through it all. She’s speaking out for other women, but she was willing to accept the hefty payday in order to not speak out for herself. Really, how ‘fierce’ is that? That irked me somewhat.
However, I did learn some new information from this book too. I heard some facts and statistics that I question, but also some that caused me to conduct more research and try to understand better.
I also did respect all of the stories shared with Gretchen that she then shared within the book, and I did come away with less of my own bitterness against the movement and more sympathy and understanding for true victims.
However, overall, as a whole, it was definitely still too ‘preachy’ for me. Also, it was supposed to be empowering, but often came off as whiney. And I did disagree with several of the things she had to say / points she made as well.
In the end, the book was okay. I learned a little, agreed with some, but mostly I did not come away with a better view of Gretchen than I previously had and I definitely enjoyed the writing of her first book much more.
Here’s the thing though, and I realize this is very controversial and still a hot button issue but I’m just gonna come right out and say it - I, personally, am really, REALLY over this whole #MeToo movement. It has been SO over politicized, dramatized and Hollywood-ized, that it now almost completely misses the mark and also delegitimizes and takes away from the true stories of all of the women who have dealt with ACTUAL sexual harassment as well as sexual assault, i.e. molestation and rape.
Not the ones who choose to put themselves in bad / negative situations. Not the ones who equate a butt tap or a catcall with gang rape. Not the ones who are straight up making false accusations just to be included as part of this. Not the ones who are so overtly politically correct that men practically can’t do or say anything at all to us now.
Also - #MeToo = #DidYouSayNo?
Just throwing that out there.
Sooo yeah. That’s basically how I feel about that. It’s pretty bitter, I understand. And don’t tell me I don’t understand what these women have gone through, because you have NO idea. Just because I’m not out there hash-tagging everything #MeToo everywhere does NOT mean that I haven’t been inappropriately taken advantage of as a woman by a man in my life because I have horror stories of my own I could drudge up if I so chose.
But I am absolutely done with what started as a completely legitimate conversation that needed to take place in this country becoming a preachy political / celebrity smear campaign.
ALL that being said to preface why, while I like Gretchen and I did fully believe her and felt that she came out with this ahead of the whirlwind insanity that would later take place surrounding sexual harassment, once she wrote a book about it, I didn’t know if I wanted to sit through being preached to anymore about this issue.
I decided I was game to give it a whirl though when I read the introduction was entitled: ‘Are You Done Taking Sh*t?’ I thought, “alright, I’m listening.”
Within the introduction though I was reminded how I am bothered that I felt Gretchen is/was playing both sides. She says that part of the problem is women accepting settlements to “shut up” about their experiences, yet that’s exactly what she did. She talks the whole #BeFierce movement and how women have to speak out, yet she settled her sexual harassment lawsuit with Twentieth Century Fox for $20 million and even states in the books’ intro “Many people have heard about the sexual harassment case I filed against my former boss. That lawsuit was settled, and there are things I can’t discuss about it. That’s the nature of a settlement.”
So she spends the whole book talking about other women’s courageous stories instead of her own. She would reflect on little pieces of dealing with it, but not on anything that she actually went through, except to say that throughout her life, she’s been through it all. She’s speaking out for other women, but she was willing to accept the hefty payday in order to not speak out for herself. Really, how ‘fierce’ is that? That irked me somewhat.
However, I did learn some new information from this book too. I heard some facts and statistics that I question, but also some that caused me to conduct more research and try to understand better.
I also did respect all of the stories shared with Gretchen that she then shared within the book, and I did come away with less of my own bitterness against the movement and more sympathy and understanding for true victims.
However, overall, as a whole, it was definitely still too ‘preachy’ for me. Also, it was supposed to be empowering, but often came off as whiney. And I did disagree with several of the things she had to say / points she made as well.
In the end, the book was okay. I learned a little, agreed with some, but mostly I did not come away with a better view of Gretchen than I previously had and I definitely enjoyed the writing of her first book much more.
October 8, 2017
Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back is a book by Gretchen Carlson that tackles the topic of sexual harrassment. Be Fierce is a great book for women – and men – who both need to know about the harrassment that can and does occur in work environments.
Because speaking out about sexual harassment sometimes has negative consequences for the victims, it is wonderful that someone as high profile as Carlson can bluntly write about what many women encounter in the workplace; it further cements the fact that sexual harrassment is a real problem. Even after hearing countless stories about sexual harrassment in the past, it was very eye-opening to read the accounts of Carlson and other women and see what they had to face. The chapter that interested me the most was “Enough Already!” – particularly the section that talked about sexual harrassment myths. I liked learning more about Carlson through the book, and I found Be Fierce to be an empowering and encouraging read.
*I received this book for review*
Because speaking out about sexual harassment sometimes has negative consequences for the victims, it is wonderful that someone as high profile as Carlson can bluntly write about what many women encounter in the workplace; it further cements the fact that sexual harrassment is a real problem. Even after hearing countless stories about sexual harrassment in the past, it was very eye-opening to read the accounts of Carlson and other women and see what they had to face. The chapter that interested me the most was “Enough Already!” – particularly the section that talked about sexual harrassment myths. I liked learning more about Carlson through the book, and I found Be Fierce to be an empowering and encouraging read.
*I received this book for review*
November 13, 2017
It is not often that I stop reading a book. I do not take it lightly. I know all authors work tirelessly to get a book out on the shelves. Sadly, this was a book I could not finish. Though the writing was decent the words were not.
I think part of my struggle for this book was about my initial thoughts on what this book would be about. I thought this would be a 'how I overcame' style, instead I found a how to. This book is filled with all the things to do in the case you find yourself being harassed. It is very negative in general. I could not finish the book because I could feel the drain in my own happiness and view of the world. I made it just halfway through and skipped around to try to finish and find something that would make me want to keep reading, sadly not for me.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for sharing my honest review.
I think part of my struggle for this book was about my initial thoughts on what this book would be about. I thought this would be a 'how I overcame' style, instead I found a how to. This book is filled with all the things to do in the case you find yourself being harassed. It is very negative in general. I could not finish the book because I could feel the drain in my own happiness and view of the world. I made it just halfway through and skipped around to try to finish and find something that would make me want to keep reading, sadly not for me.
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for sharing my honest review.
December 24, 2017
Timely. Good action steps, lots of individual stories, many organizational resources given.
December 26, 2021
This book is a manifesto from journalist Gretchen Carlson about how women can protect themselves from sexual harassment in the workplace. The author shares her experience and other stories from women who wanted to speak out against sexual harassment.
The author's life story is so fascinating and inspiring. In this book, she outlines how women can empower and protect themselves at work, at college, or in their personal lives. She helps us reclaim our power against the abuse or injustice that plagues our society. She encourages us to be more forthright and get over our worry of being "too bossy." The more we speak up for ourselves, the more we pave the way for other women to be strong, assertive women, which allows us to take our power back. This book speaks to how the author shines as a person and a huge advocate for women.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/gre...
The author's life story is so fascinating and inspiring. In this book, she outlines how women can empower and protect themselves at work, at college, or in their personal lives. She helps us reclaim our power against the abuse or injustice that plagues our society. She encourages us to be more forthright and get over our worry of being "too bossy." The more we speak up for ourselves, the more we pave the way for other women to be strong, assertive women, which allows us to take our power back. This book speaks to how the author shines as a person and a huge advocate for women.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/gre...
November 23, 2017
With all the sexual harassment stories that are live on the media today this book probably won't get tthe attention it deserves ... but they're all the same story aren't they? It is time to stop the harassment and take your power back. I am 68 years old now and have dealt with sexual harassment my entire life and it continues. Men have been in control of the situation for so long I'm doubtful this will end in my lifetime anyway. Of course bringing it to the media's attention will help curb the sexual appetite of some of the abusers who do not want the public eye upon them. I think I would have enjoyed this book more had I won a real BOOK. I didn't realize that this was not when I entered this contest. I really don't enjoy reading on my phone. I still like holding a real book in my hands, closing it at night and putting it down when I get sleepy.
May 10, 2018
Eye-opening stories and statistics about the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment in the workplace. Gretchen Carlson also gives several ways we can help stop in on a day-to-day basis. Great book for everyone— but especially for young professional women.
March 4, 2020
I learned very much about forced arbitration. And I felt bad for conservative women. It must suck to keep saying sexual harassment is not a partisan issue and then watch your party treat it as such.
"He got it wrong. Women don't mind being complimented. They mind being objectified. If a stranger tells a woman she looks hot that's objectification. He doesn't see her as a person but rather as an object. And every woman I know would prefer a colleague to say 'Your ideas in that meeting were off the charts' to 'you look great in that dress'."
"He got it wrong. Women don't mind being complimented. They mind being objectified. If a stranger tells a woman she looks hot that's objectification. He doesn't see her as a person but rather as an object. And every woman I know would prefer a colleague to say 'Your ideas in that meeting were off the charts' to 'you look great in that dress'."
October 15, 2020
Rating excludes the final two chapters which seemed irrelevant to the book.
March 27, 2021
Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back
By Gretchen Carlson
- [ ] A legal disclaimer opens the book
- [ ] Powerful women
- [ ] Her suing Roger Ailes was watershed moment starting the early days of the me too movement
- [ ] Silence is the abusers power
- [ ] It happens in ever industry
- [ ] Old boys club
- [ ] Every women has a story
- [ ] 70% of women don’t report harassment
- [ ] You can’t experience harassment without experiencing psychological wounds
- [ ] Reasonable women standard - adopted by the EEOC
- [ ] That guy, the friendly guy that is actually harassing women. He says he is just being friendly but actually he is targeting and harassing women - I am that guy
- [ ] Managing the tricky lines of social dynamics and what is crossing the line. People still want to be friends and work comfortably
- [ ] How do you know it’s sexual harassment - all of her examples are obvious sexual harassment, she gives the caveat, if they create a climate of discomfort. I would say they are all sexual harassment in any context - I did none of them
- [ ] The law recognizes two kinds of sexual harassment; quid pro quo and the creation of a hostile work environment
- [ ] EEOC definition of sexual harassment:
- [ ] HR protects the company
- [ ] Why women don’t report immediately: power differential, they are traumatized, they have seen the abuser get away with it, company cultural is intimidating, she does not have hard proof, she doesn’t have the resources for a hard fight, she wants to keep her job
- [ ] HR is intimidating, it is not always supportive of employee. It is there for the company
- [ ] You can’t win if you don’t know the rules
- [ ] Angry is a slur used towards women
- [ ] She was most proud of when she stood up for herself
- [ ] The power and horror of the Anita Hill saga
- [ ] Women never forget the moment and feeling of being helpless to stop a sexual charged incident they did not invite
- [ ] Telling the world is the hardest thing I have ever done - Anita hill
- [ ] The irony of Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas working at the EEOC
- [ ] Harassment is a different matter than assault and rape but they both have to do with power - it’s about power. They are both likely to not be believed
- [ ] Assault in the military - it’s so much
- [ ] The support of other women can make all the difference
- [ ] The goal of ending harassment requires collaboration
Chapter 3
- [ ] Be a bad ass
- [ ] The workplace
- [ ] Women are viewed as prey
- [ ] Women that speak out should be praised, they make things better for all
- [ ] Constant retaliation - irreparable damage
- [ ] Black baller, stigmatized, pushed out of careers
- [ ] Women are being harassed out of STEM
- [ ] just because you are strong it will not prevent you from being harassed
- [ ] the impact of harassment on young women early in their career is traumatic and long lasting
- [ ] It is not about sex but power. Women are vulnerable
- [ ] The ability to manipulate is key to the harassers success
- [ ] Women on campus
- [ ] 20% of college women have been harassed or assaulted
- [ ] Parents are worried about their daughters
- [ ] So many women have experienced it, if not at work, at school, or some place else
- [ ] We have to change men too
- [ ] Advice to her daughter
- [ ] Harassment is a gateway to assault
- [ ] 20% said harassment causes inability to concentrate and 30% says it interferes with attendance
- [ ] Watch - that’s harassment
- [ ] Some men are confused
- [ ] Men need to hear the message from men
- [ ] Risk quote
- [ ] Take the power back
Chapter 4: you have the right
- [ ] I have the right
- [ ] 12 point playbook
- [ ] Know the company culture
- [ ] Document document document - in specific detail. Not in work materials or property. Keep it on your files
- [ ] Access to your personal file varies by state
- [ ] Take offense - stand up for yourself. Speak up, say something, be assertive
- [ ] Harassment can be bullying
- [ ] Women have to be bolder about taking offense
- [ ] Tell people you trust
- [ ] Be observant - approach other women
- [ ] Tape interactions if you can
- [ ] Know the policies
- [ ] Make it official
- [ ] Top performers are often protected - this discourages women coming forward
- [ ] Train civility and celebrate those that come forward
- [ ] It’s hard to concentrate when someone is hitting on you all the time
- [ ] Be direct and specific -the language matters
- [ ] HR is not the place to go to seek advice, blow off steam, or support in a difficult time. Only go when you know you want to make an official report
- [ ] HR will likely not be able to protect your identity
- [ ] Be a warrior or walk away
- [ ] Make sure you have a plan - you can’t go back and collect evidence
- [ ] Avoid traps
- [ ] Document any retaliation
- [ ] Go legal
- [ ] Secure your right to sue
- [ ] Be the change
- [ ] Men need to be educated on how to read the signals
- [ ] Your subordinates are to be congenial, that does not mean they like you or want you to flirt with them
- [ ] Fully embrace women’s opportunities
Chapter 5: asking for it
- [ ] No one is asking for it and it is unacceptable
- [ ] The horror of Trump
- [ ] Only 2-8% of rape allegations are probable false. There is not a similar stat for harassment
- [ ] It is a common tactic for harassers to call upon women that they are friends with to show that they could not be harassers because they have women friends - I have done that
- [ ] But they don’t treat all women the same. They target their victims and hide their actions, their female friends would never know. I may have done that
- [ ] The hypocrisy of both parties
- [ ] Sexual harassment in the church
- [ ] Sexual harassment is not a partisan issue, it is a human issue
- [ ] Force arbitration is not justice, it is private, forced, unjust, unproductive, not in front of a judge, and does not establish precedent
- [ ] You give up your seventh amendment
Chapter 7 - men who defend
- [ ] We need good men
- [ ] The definition of manhood, masculinity
- [ ] This is a chapter that I need to hear. My ideas of women have been skewed, altered, and are unhealthy. I have not been a defender of women and I have developed chauvinist, toxic, predatory, and wrong ideas/behaviors
- [ ] Men need to stand up for women
- [ ] For some men sexism is their last domain, they can’t be racist, antisemitic, or homophobic but sexism is still allowed
- [ ] A lot of sexual harassment is guys just thinking they are being funny but they are not - Paul Feige
- [ ] Paul Feige, the morons and monsters theory - two cultural tracks that lead to harassment: let’s all have fun and say whatever we want and I am going to take advantage of my power.
- [ ] The morons are the guys that don’t know they are being offensive and harassing. The monsters are the ones that demean women for power
- [ ] He believes the first one is harder to change because it requires people to stop, think, and resolve to be different. This can be more important to change because it changes the cultural difference
- [ ] I feel like I fall into the moron track
- [ ] You’re so … dramatic, offended, up tight, sensitive, etc. The putting down, invalidating, and gaslighting of women
- [ ] To deal with sexism in companies, be swift, harsh, and without any reservation. Public apologize and get rid of it. We don’t tolerate it - Bashar
- [ ] Harassers and abusers know how to walk up to the line and make their intentions know without breaking the rules. That is how they hide and go unreported
- [ ] It is a listening issue we have to listen
- [ ] Sexual harassment is a disease. That standard that you walk past is the standard that you accept
- [ ] Being fierce means being cool and not reacting out of emotion
- [ ] Breaking the man code - don’t exclude women
- [ ] We need men in this fight
Chapter 8: enough already
- [ ] What you have control over
- [ ] Powerlessness
- [ ] Silence and being alone
- [ ] The powerful women’s March
- [ ] Stronger together
- [ ] How to raise the tide/achieve equality
- [ ] A compliment is acceptable, objectification is wrong
- [ ] Political correctness = treating people with respect
- [ ] Use the bully pulpit
- [ ] The horrendous masochistic cyber bullying
- [ ] Revenge porn and cyber stalking
- [ ] Reject the myths of women provoking it
- [ ] One in three women have been harassed at work. Harassment and assault is vastly underreported. Women are terrified of retaliation
- [ ] Myth: non physical sexual harassment is not harmful
- [ ] Harassment does not have to involve sex or sexual harassment for it to be sexual harassment - the courts are clear on this
- [ ] Words spoken and the atmosphere created with the intent to demean women is harassment - seldom is this accidental - this is what I did
- [ ] Give it back and help other
- [ ] Have faith in yourself
- [ ] Be brave
- [ ] Don’t let them take your soul
Chapter 9: our children are watching
- [ ] Pride, strength, self worth
- [ ] Separate smart and sexy
- [ ] The impact of negative comments, stereotypes, society, cultural from such a young age
- [ ] You throw like a girl - stereotype that was upended
- [ ] The roots of negative perceptions take hold as young as five, society is build around men and women being second class
- [ ] The dangers of the internet and social media
- [ ] Talking to our children. Teaching good social media behaviors
- [ ] Sexual harassment happens online
- [ ] Teaching our boys
- [ ] Boys will be boys is never an positive association
- [ ] Teaching positive values at a young age: consent, respect, ending stereotypes, ending bullying, equality, proper behavior
- [ ] Ending the bystander effect of bullying- Lupin is guilty of this
- [ ] A strong section on ending bullying
- [ ] We end bullying by not tolerating it!!! Stand up to bullies
- [ ] Teach anti bullying early
- [ ] Values for our kids: openness, aspiration, self esteem, respect
- [ ] Reject traditional gender roles
- [ ] Build self esteem from the inside out
- [ ] Powerful chapter about parenting
- [ ] The parents pledge
Chapter 10: be fierce
- [ ] Stand up for what is right
- [ ] Be the change
- [ ] Take action
- [ ] Don’t be a bystander
- [ ] In 2016 women gain no seats in the house but they did in 2018
- [ ] More women should run for office
- [ ] Women are stronger together, people are stronger together
- [ ] Shame hates light
- [ ] What are you going to do to change society and be better?
- [ ] I need to keep reading books like this to learn more and change
- [ ] Powerful
By Gretchen Carlson
- [ ] A legal disclaimer opens the book
- [ ] Powerful women
- [ ] Her suing Roger Ailes was watershed moment starting the early days of the me too movement
- [ ] Silence is the abusers power
- [ ] It happens in ever industry
- [ ] Old boys club
- [ ] Every women has a story
- [ ] 70% of women don’t report harassment
- [ ] You can’t experience harassment without experiencing psychological wounds
- [ ] Reasonable women standard - adopted by the EEOC
- [ ] That guy, the friendly guy that is actually harassing women. He says he is just being friendly but actually he is targeting and harassing women - I am that guy
- [ ] Managing the tricky lines of social dynamics and what is crossing the line. People still want to be friends and work comfortably
- [ ] How do you know it’s sexual harassment - all of her examples are obvious sexual harassment, she gives the caveat, if they create a climate of discomfort. I would say they are all sexual harassment in any context - I did none of them
- [ ] The law recognizes two kinds of sexual harassment; quid pro quo and the creation of a hostile work environment
- [ ] EEOC definition of sexual harassment:
- [ ] HR protects the company
- [ ] Why women don’t report immediately: power differential, they are traumatized, they have seen the abuser get away with it, company cultural is intimidating, she does not have hard proof, she doesn’t have the resources for a hard fight, she wants to keep her job
- [ ] HR is intimidating, it is not always supportive of employee. It is there for the company
- [ ] You can’t win if you don’t know the rules
- [ ] Angry is a slur used towards women
- [ ] She was most proud of when she stood up for herself
- [ ] The power and horror of the Anita Hill saga
- [ ] Women never forget the moment and feeling of being helpless to stop a sexual charged incident they did not invite
- [ ] Telling the world is the hardest thing I have ever done - Anita hill
- [ ] The irony of Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas working at the EEOC
- [ ] Harassment is a different matter than assault and rape but they both have to do with power - it’s about power. They are both likely to not be believed
- [ ] Assault in the military - it’s so much
- [ ] The support of other women can make all the difference
- [ ] The goal of ending harassment requires collaboration
Chapter 3
- [ ] Be a bad ass
- [ ] The workplace
- [ ] Women are viewed as prey
- [ ] Women that speak out should be praised, they make things better for all
- [ ] Constant retaliation - irreparable damage
- [ ] Black baller, stigmatized, pushed out of careers
- [ ] Women are being harassed out of STEM
- [ ] just because you are strong it will not prevent you from being harassed
- [ ] the impact of harassment on young women early in their career is traumatic and long lasting
- [ ] It is not about sex but power. Women are vulnerable
- [ ] The ability to manipulate is key to the harassers success
- [ ] Women on campus
- [ ] 20% of college women have been harassed or assaulted
- [ ] Parents are worried about their daughters
- [ ] So many women have experienced it, if not at work, at school, or some place else
- [ ] We have to change men too
- [ ] Advice to her daughter
- [ ] Harassment is a gateway to assault
- [ ] 20% said harassment causes inability to concentrate and 30% says it interferes with attendance
- [ ] Watch - that’s harassment
- [ ] Some men are confused
- [ ] Men need to hear the message from men
- [ ] Risk quote
- [ ] Take the power back
Chapter 4: you have the right
- [ ] I have the right
- [ ] 12 point playbook
- [ ] Know the company culture
- [ ] Document document document - in specific detail. Not in work materials or property. Keep it on your files
- [ ] Access to your personal file varies by state
- [ ] Take offense - stand up for yourself. Speak up, say something, be assertive
- [ ] Harassment can be bullying
- [ ] Women have to be bolder about taking offense
- [ ] Tell people you trust
- [ ] Be observant - approach other women
- [ ] Tape interactions if you can
- [ ] Know the policies
- [ ] Make it official
- [ ] Top performers are often protected - this discourages women coming forward
- [ ] Train civility and celebrate those that come forward
- [ ] It’s hard to concentrate when someone is hitting on you all the time
- [ ] Be direct and specific -the language matters
- [ ] HR is not the place to go to seek advice, blow off steam, or support in a difficult time. Only go when you know you want to make an official report
- [ ] HR will likely not be able to protect your identity
- [ ] Be a warrior or walk away
- [ ] Make sure you have a plan - you can’t go back and collect evidence
- [ ] Avoid traps
- [ ] Document any retaliation
- [ ] Go legal
- [ ] Secure your right to sue
- [ ] Be the change
- [ ] Men need to be educated on how to read the signals
- [ ] Your subordinates are to be congenial, that does not mean they like you or want you to flirt with them
- [ ] Fully embrace women’s opportunities
Chapter 5: asking for it
- [ ] No one is asking for it and it is unacceptable
- [ ] The horror of Trump
- [ ] Only 2-8% of rape allegations are probable false. There is not a similar stat for harassment
- [ ] It is a common tactic for harassers to call upon women that they are friends with to show that they could not be harassers because they have women friends - I have done that
- [ ] But they don’t treat all women the same. They target their victims and hide their actions, their female friends would never know. I may have done that
- [ ] The hypocrisy of both parties
- [ ] Sexual harassment in the church
- [ ] Sexual harassment is not a partisan issue, it is a human issue
- [ ] Force arbitration is not justice, it is private, forced, unjust, unproductive, not in front of a judge, and does not establish precedent
- [ ] You give up your seventh amendment
Chapter 7 - men who defend
- [ ] We need good men
- [ ] The definition of manhood, masculinity
- [ ] This is a chapter that I need to hear. My ideas of women have been skewed, altered, and are unhealthy. I have not been a defender of women and I have developed chauvinist, toxic, predatory, and wrong ideas/behaviors
- [ ] Men need to stand up for women
- [ ] For some men sexism is their last domain, they can’t be racist, antisemitic, or homophobic but sexism is still allowed
- [ ] A lot of sexual harassment is guys just thinking they are being funny but they are not - Paul Feige
- [ ] Paul Feige, the morons and monsters theory - two cultural tracks that lead to harassment: let’s all have fun and say whatever we want and I am going to take advantage of my power.
- [ ] The morons are the guys that don’t know they are being offensive and harassing. The monsters are the ones that demean women for power
- [ ] He believes the first one is harder to change because it requires people to stop, think, and resolve to be different. This can be more important to change because it changes the cultural difference
- [ ] I feel like I fall into the moron track
- [ ] You’re so … dramatic, offended, up tight, sensitive, etc. The putting down, invalidating, and gaslighting of women
- [ ] To deal with sexism in companies, be swift, harsh, and without any reservation. Public apologize and get rid of it. We don’t tolerate it - Bashar
- [ ] Harassers and abusers know how to walk up to the line and make their intentions know without breaking the rules. That is how they hide and go unreported
- [ ] It is a listening issue we have to listen
- [ ] Sexual harassment is a disease. That standard that you walk past is the standard that you accept
- [ ] Being fierce means being cool and not reacting out of emotion
- [ ] Breaking the man code - don’t exclude women
- [ ] We need men in this fight
Chapter 8: enough already
- [ ] What you have control over
- [ ] Powerlessness
- [ ] Silence and being alone
- [ ] The powerful women’s March
- [ ] Stronger together
- [ ] How to raise the tide/achieve equality
- [ ] A compliment is acceptable, objectification is wrong
- [ ] Political correctness = treating people with respect
- [ ] Use the bully pulpit
- [ ] The horrendous masochistic cyber bullying
- [ ] Revenge porn and cyber stalking
- [ ] Reject the myths of women provoking it
- [ ] One in three women have been harassed at work. Harassment and assault is vastly underreported. Women are terrified of retaliation
- [ ] Myth: non physical sexual harassment is not harmful
- [ ] Harassment does not have to involve sex or sexual harassment for it to be sexual harassment - the courts are clear on this
- [ ] Words spoken and the atmosphere created with the intent to demean women is harassment - seldom is this accidental - this is what I did
- [ ] Give it back and help other
- [ ] Have faith in yourself
- [ ] Be brave
- [ ] Don’t let them take your soul
Chapter 9: our children are watching
- [ ] Pride, strength, self worth
- [ ] Separate smart and sexy
- [ ] The impact of negative comments, stereotypes, society, cultural from such a young age
- [ ] You throw like a girl - stereotype that was upended
- [ ] The roots of negative perceptions take hold as young as five, society is build around men and women being second class
- [ ] The dangers of the internet and social media
- [ ] Talking to our children. Teaching good social media behaviors
- [ ] Sexual harassment happens online
- [ ] Teaching our boys
- [ ] Boys will be boys is never an positive association
- [ ] Teaching positive values at a young age: consent, respect, ending stereotypes, ending bullying, equality, proper behavior
- [ ] Ending the bystander effect of bullying- Lupin is guilty of this
- [ ] A strong section on ending bullying
- [ ] We end bullying by not tolerating it!!! Stand up to bullies
- [ ] Teach anti bullying early
- [ ] Values for our kids: openness, aspiration, self esteem, respect
- [ ] Reject traditional gender roles
- [ ] Build self esteem from the inside out
- [ ] Powerful chapter about parenting
- [ ] The parents pledge
Chapter 10: be fierce
- [ ] Stand up for what is right
- [ ] Be the change
- [ ] Take action
- [ ] Don’t be a bystander
- [ ] In 2016 women gain no seats in the house but they did in 2018
- [ ] More women should run for office
- [ ] Women are stronger together, people are stronger together
- [ ] Shame hates light
- [ ] What are you going to do to change society and be better?
- [ ] I need to keep reading books like this to learn more and change
- [ ] Powerful
June 8, 2018
This book was fine. It’s nothing ground-breaking. It’s what happens when someone very privileged finally realizes that women really do get harassed and assaulted, and it really isn’t their fault, but only because it happens to them. (There is even a page or two dedicated to her disbelief of feminism in college because she didn’t know what those “other women” were talking about).
It’s infuriating to read about how women are treated. The only real problem I had with this book was that though it said repeatedly that you shouldn’t have to prove your strength when you stand up to men, or that you’re not weak if you get harassed, there was this underlying theme of “being a badass”. As in, when you’re harassed, just don’t give up! Just be a badass! It isn’t always that easy. Women who don’t or can’t fight back aren’t un-badass, and if you are assaulted or harassed, it isn’t on you to do something about it. Women should be supported regardless of their decision about what to do after a terrible man tries to ruin a part of them.
Also, there was an underlying theme of “grit”, or “never giving up”. This is an extremely privileged ideal that is huge in the world of conservatism and education. The idea is that weak people give up, and that if you just had grit, you wouldn’t give up and you would succeed! Carlson spends a LOT of time giving examples of her grit, such as being told she was too short to be Miss America and then “working harder” to do it anyway. But the average, non-wealthy, person can’t just “work harder” when they’re told no. Some people work as hard as they possibly can and still don’t get the same kinds of opportunities Carlson has. She talks at length about being an accomplished violinist - great! I’m glad she had that success. But there are millions of kids in our country who will never even hold a violin, and that doesn’t mean they don’t have grit. It’s just something to think about - her extreme privilege seems to be something she is unaware of.
I think this would be a great book for a super conservative high school grad before she goes off to college.
It’s infuriating to read about how women are treated. The only real problem I had with this book was that though it said repeatedly that you shouldn’t have to prove your strength when you stand up to men, or that you’re not weak if you get harassed, there was this underlying theme of “being a badass”. As in, when you’re harassed, just don’t give up! Just be a badass! It isn’t always that easy. Women who don’t or can’t fight back aren’t un-badass, and if you are assaulted or harassed, it isn’t on you to do something about it. Women should be supported regardless of their decision about what to do after a terrible man tries to ruin a part of them.
Also, there was an underlying theme of “grit”, or “never giving up”. This is an extremely privileged ideal that is huge in the world of conservatism and education. The idea is that weak people give up, and that if you just had grit, you wouldn’t give up and you would succeed! Carlson spends a LOT of time giving examples of her grit, such as being told she was too short to be Miss America and then “working harder” to do it anyway. But the average, non-wealthy, person can’t just “work harder” when they’re told no. Some people work as hard as they possibly can and still don’t get the same kinds of opportunities Carlson has. She talks at length about being an accomplished violinist - great! I’m glad she had that success. But there are millions of kids in our country who will never even hold a violin, and that doesn’t mean they don’t have grit. It’s just something to think about - her extreme privilege seems to be something she is unaware of.
I think this would be a great book for a super conservative high school grad before she goes off to college.
October 17, 2017
I was excited to be on the launch team for this book, but I will be honest – it was a tough one to read! I had to read the first half in small sections, because the stories Gretchen shared were heartbreaking. However, now that I’ve finished reading, I know how important it is to hear the realities of this issue. The only way to make change is to educate ourselves about the gritty details. Basically, we need to get mad at the injustice and then do our part – however small – to speak out.
Gretchen’s book is full of personal stories, facts, and advice on the subject of sexual harassment and female empowerment. Having just experienced it herself, she’s upfront about the difficulties in fighting harassment. It’s not an easy journey. The facts are discouraging, but hopefully, by reading books like this, people will start becoming aware of what’s going on so future generations can benefit.
I don’t say this about every book I help launch, but “Be Fierce” is a book we should all read and discuss with our children. As a mom of boys, I’ll be doing just that.
*I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Gretchen’s book is full of personal stories, facts, and advice on the subject of sexual harassment and female empowerment. Having just experienced it herself, she’s upfront about the difficulties in fighting harassment. It’s not an easy journey. The facts are discouraging, but hopefully, by reading books like this, people will start becoming aware of what’s going on so future generations can benefit.
I don’t say this about every book I help launch, but “Be Fierce” is a book we should all read and discuss with our children. As a mom of boys, I’ll be doing just that.
*I was given a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
September 1, 2024
I would probably add this book to a feminism 101 group of books, or more specifically, practical things that should be taught in schools but aren't (also included in the list would be Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap). While definitely not the most progressive or groundbreaking (most of the feminist sources or references to feminists in positions of power are men, strangely even men heading women's organizations, and Carlson also dances around a description of the Pulse shooting without mentioning once that it was an anti-lgbtq+ attack), this book does give a ton of resources and important things to know that can actually help you if you're ever put in a sexual harassment situation at work, while also giving empathy and taking looks at the bigger picture of how to improve our culture by teaching our children to be better and even changing laws. Also a big plus that this book was incredibly accessible to obtain (price isn't very high and also available at my local library) and part of the proceeds originally went towards Gift of Courage Fund (seems to be defunct now, but work noting that Carlson did cofound Lift Our Voices in 2019, which seems to do essentially the same or similar things). I do also think Carlson does a good job trying to call people in in a bipartisan way; knowing that she worked for Fox News, I was honestly surprised how progressive many of her views were and that we had more in common than I expected. Not necessarily the most gripping or engaging read at times, but it doesn't have to be in order to serve as a healing mechanism for Carlson and those whose stories she shared, or for the information to be valuable and easy to access for those who need it. Well done.
October 22, 2020
“Our children really see us. They hear us.”, p. 10
“It is in our hands to help the next generation become leaders in creating equality for all.”, p. 206
“The passivity of bystanders contributes directly to a harassment culture. Don’t be a bystander.”, p. 215
“It’s easy to assume that sexual harassment flourishes in certain industries. There is the “Mad Men” culture of advertising. There is the sometimes female-unfriendly culture of sports. There are industries, such as fashion, modeling, and beauty pageants, where some degree of objectification is commonplace. But my mailbox showed a more pervasive reality. These women belonged to virtually every profession and walk of life.”, p. 12
“Harassment isn’t something you ask for... And in spite of the lingering doubt and guilt that most women feel, it’s not about something you did. It’s about what somebody else did to you.”, p. 12
“Silence is the most powerful weapon of the harasser. When women are not allowed or enabled to give voice to their experiences, they disappear.”, p. 13
“You cannot experience sexual harassment without suffering psychological wounds.”, p. 16
“It’s not just the harassment itself that has psychological consequences. The stress of keeping such a bitter secret is tremendous.”, p. 16
“Sexual harassment is traumatic. This is confirmed by studies measuring the psychological effects of harassment, whether it is verbal or physical.”, p. 17
“Shame is a powerful force. There’s no logic to it, no fairness, and no explanation. The standard notions of right and wrong don’t apply. Here’s the way it works: You are shamed… therefore you are ashamed .”, p. 18
“Sexual harassment is one piece of a much larger issue related to all efforts to disempower women, especially in the workplace.”, p. 27
“Abuse based on gender, whether it is intended to harm the victim or not, is sexual harassment, and it does not have to be sexual. It just has to be gender based.”, p. 31
“You might have the law on your side, but getting there is complicated, difficult, and often expensive.”, p. 32
“No matter how solid the harassment policies, HR is a function of the company, staffed by executives who have the company’s interests at heart.”, p. 32
“It’s easy to sit on the outside and claim that they should have exposed their harassers. But those righteous critics don’t have a clue what that decision really means. They have no idea what it feels like to try and summon up the courage to make the biggest decision in your life for something you’ve worked so hard for.”, p. 34
“What also makes the issue so tough to handle is that harassers rarely act alone. They need people to cover for them, and because they often control... enlisting enablers is not hard for them to do. In my mind, enablers are as blameworthy as the harassers themselves.”, p. 35
“Whether or not women decide to come forward, they’re the ones who suffer the blowback.”, p. 37
“The best way to stand up for yourself is to be clear-eyed about how the power dynamic works in your company. If there is a prescribed process for filing complaints, follow it to the letter. If you don’t want to make a complaint, but need guidance, seek it elsewhere—don’t go to HR. Don’t get bogged down in thinking about fair versus unfair, or what is right... begin with the knowledge that this is a chess game. You can’t win if you don’t know the rules.”, p. 44
“Remember, in some cases, HR employees can be called on to investigate the very people who are paying their salaries . That’s a huge problem.”, p. 45
“too many of us as women have been put in horrible situations in which we feel a lot like David in the Bible story about David-versus-Goliath. The underdog with little power. If you happen to find yourself in that kind of fight right now in your company, remember: you are not alone .”, p. 45
“We live in a bully culture, as every teenager is well aware.”, p. 47
“‘Pleasing syndrome’ commonly develops in young girls, and often follows them into adulthood. The expectations and rewards come from compliance, not resistance... trying to work around it rather than confronting it. There’s still so much emphasis in our culture on women and girls being quiet that it effectively drowns out their voices.”, p. 51
“Abusers are encouraged by silence. They’re emboldened by acquiescence. What would it mean if we all stopped being so damn nice?”, p. 52
Sexual harassment is a different matter than assault and rape. But I’ll tell you one thing they have in common: women who report being harassed and women who report being raped can be equally not believed. And in both cases, the abuse can often be more about power than about sex. It’s about a powerful person doing something to someone who has less power.” p. 57
“I often wonder at what decade we’ll agree it’s no longer appropriate to defend degradation in the workplace.”, p. 87
“Advocating for yourself in the workplace starts with knowing your rights. What are they?... But you have to know that the law is not enough. You also need to understand and abide by company policies, correctly read the political atmosphere, and have a plan. And you have to enter the workplace with your eyes wide open.”, p. 89
“Harassment can be equated with bullying, and that’s very much in the culture.”, p. 94
“Harassers and abusers don’t treat every person they come into contact with in the same way. Harassers don’t harass everyone. They often choose their targets carefully.”, p. 131
“[Sexual harassment] It’s a human issue, a women’s issue, a man’s issue. It’s everyone’s issue.”, p. 134
“Efficiency cannot be the primary value we hold in legal disputes. The primary value is justice—and too often, justice is denied in arbitration.”, p. 137
“[Arbitration] It is a dispute resolution system, which is misused and mischaracterized as justice.”, Cliff Palefsky [San Francisco employment lawyer who has been fighting discrimination, sexual harassment, and other employee-rights cases], p. 140
“The issue here is how men treat women. That’s what has to change.””, Larry Wilmore, p. 157
“Harassment doesn’t necessarily need to involve sex to be sexual (i.e., gender oriented).”, p. 164
“We must reject the idea that women have something to gain by being harassed. In fact, they have everything to lose.”, p. 181
“Addressing bullying is something each parent should expect to do, and be ready to do, whether his or her child is the one being bullied, is the bully, or the bystander.”, p. 198
“It is in our hands to help the next generation become leaders in creating equality for all.”, p. 206
“The passivity of bystanders contributes directly to a harassment culture. Don’t be a bystander.”, p. 215
“It’s easy to assume that sexual harassment flourishes in certain industries. There is the “Mad Men” culture of advertising. There is the sometimes female-unfriendly culture of sports. There are industries, such as fashion, modeling, and beauty pageants, where some degree of objectification is commonplace. But my mailbox showed a more pervasive reality. These women belonged to virtually every profession and walk of life.”, p. 12
“Harassment isn’t something you ask for... And in spite of the lingering doubt and guilt that most women feel, it’s not about something you did. It’s about what somebody else did to you.”, p. 12
“Silence is the most powerful weapon of the harasser. When women are not allowed or enabled to give voice to their experiences, they disappear.”, p. 13
“You cannot experience sexual harassment without suffering psychological wounds.”, p. 16
“It’s not just the harassment itself that has psychological consequences. The stress of keeping such a bitter secret is tremendous.”, p. 16
“Sexual harassment is traumatic. This is confirmed by studies measuring the psychological effects of harassment, whether it is verbal or physical.”, p. 17
“Shame is a powerful force. There’s no logic to it, no fairness, and no explanation. The standard notions of right and wrong don’t apply. Here’s the way it works: You are shamed… therefore you are ashamed .”, p. 18
“Sexual harassment is one piece of a much larger issue related to all efforts to disempower women, especially in the workplace.”, p. 27
“Abuse based on gender, whether it is intended to harm the victim or not, is sexual harassment, and it does not have to be sexual. It just has to be gender based.”, p. 31
“You might have the law on your side, but getting there is complicated, difficult, and often expensive.”, p. 32
“No matter how solid the harassment policies, HR is a function of the company, staffed by executives who have the company’s interests at heart.”, p. 32
“It’s easy to sit on the outside and claim that they should have exposed their harassers. But those righteous critics don’t have a clue what that decision really means. They have no idea what it feels like to try and summon up the courage to make the biggest decision in your life for something you’ve worked so hard for.”, p. 34
“What also makes the issue so tough to handle is that harassers rarely act alone. They need people to cover for them, and because they often control... enlisting enablers is not hard for them to do. In my mind, enablers are as blameworthy as the harassers themselves.”, p. 35
“Whether or not women decide to come forward, they’re the ones who suffer the blowback.”, p. 37
“The best way to stand up for yourself is to be clear-eyed about how the power dynamic works in your company. If there is a prescribed process for filing complaints, follow it to the letter. If you don’t want to make a complaint, but need guidance, seek it elsewhere—don’t go to HR. Don’t get bogged down in thinking about fair versus unfair, or what is right... begin with the knowledge that this is a chess game. You can’t win if you don’t know the rules.”, p. 44
“Remember, in some cases, HR employees can be called on to investigate the very people who are paying their salaries . That’s a huge problem.”, p. 45
“too many of us as women have been put in horrible situations in which we feel a lot like David in the Bible story about David-versus-Goliath. The underdog with little power. If you happen to find yourself in that kind of fight right now in your company, remember: you are not alone .”, p. 45
“We live in a bully culture, as every teenager is well aware.”, p. 47
“‘Pleasing syndrome’ commonly develops in young girls, and often follows them into adulthood. The expectations and rewards come from compliance, not resistance... trying to work around it rather than confronting it. There’s still so much emphasis in our culture on women and girls being quiet that it effectively drowns out their voices.”, p. 51
“Abusers are encouraged by silence. They’re emboldened by acquiescence. What would it mean if we all stopped being so damn nice?”, p. 52
Sexual harassment is a different matter than assault and rape. But I’ll tell you one thing they have in common: women who report being harassed and women who report being raped can be equally not believed. And in both cases, the abuse can often be more about power than about sex. It’s about a powerful person doing something to someone who has less power.” p. 57
“I often wonder at what decade we’ll agree it’s no longer appropriate to defend degradation in the workplace.”, p. 87
“Advocating for yourself in the workplace starts with knowing your rights. What are they?... But you have to know that the law is not enough. You also need to understand and abide by company policies, correctly read the political atmosphere, and have a plan. And you have to enter the workplace with your eyes wide open.”, p. 89
“Harassment can be equated with bullying, and that’s very much in the culture.”, p. 94
“Harassers and abusers don’t treat every person they come into contact with in the same way. Harassers don’t harass everyone. They often choose their targets carefully.”, p. 131
“[Sexual harassment] It’s a human issue, a women’s issue, a man’s issue. It’s everyone’s issue.”, p. 134
“Efficiency cannot be the primary value we hold in legal disputes. The primary value is justice—and too often, justice is denied in arbitration.”, p. 137
“[Arbitration] It is a dispute resolution system, which is misused and mischaracterized as justice.”, Cliff Palefsky [San Francisco employment lawyer who has been fighting discrimination, sexual harassment, and other employee-rights cases], p. 140
“The issue here is how men treat women. That’s what has to change.””, Larry Wilmore, p. 157
“Harassment doesn’t necessarily need to involve sex to be sexual (i.e., gender oriented).”, p. 164
“We must reject the idea that women have something to gain by being harassed. In fact, they have everything to lose.”, p. 181
“Addressing bullying is something each parent should expect to do, and be ready to do, whether his or her child is the one being bullied, is the bully, or the bystander.”, p. 198
March 12, 2020
Television new anchor, former Miss America, Minnesotan and author Gretchen Carlson made headlines in 2016 when she became a whistleblower for sexual harassment while employed at Fox News. This book is the result of those headlines which opened up the door for other women to share their stories of harassment. Carlson won a 20 million dollar settlement which obviously she had to sign a non-disclosure statement regarding the case. That is the story I wanted to hear more about.
I wanted to like this book as the title is self-explanatory and necessary for all women. However, much of what is here is common sense and at times; redundant. We know social media is cruel, we know we live in a world of misogyny, we know arbitration is not voluntary and we know how our current occupant in the White House views women. I found it interesting Carlson talks about taping interactions and how 11 states make it illegal to do so without consent of all parties. She secretly recorded her boss using her phone. It will be interesting to see how her foundation, Gift of Courage, progresses and makes a difference in the lives of young women.
I wanted to like this book as the title is self-explanatory and necessary for all women. However, much of what is here is common sense and at times; redundant. We know social media is cruel, we know we live in a world of misogyny, we know arbitration is not voluntary and we know how our current occupant in the White House views women. I found it interesting Carlson talks about taping interactions and how 11 states make it illegal to do so without consent of all parties. She secretly recorded her boss using her phone. It will be interesting to see how her foundation, Gift of Courage, progresses and makes a difference in the lives of young women.
January 17, 2021
I have a hard time rating this book because it feels like rating about her woman’s experience of sexual harassment. But I just watched the movie Bombshell and it made me feel a little more open with how I feel about this book.
I have tremendous respect for how hard it is to break with cultural narratives we’ve been hurt by and benefitted from at the same time. It seems like some women at Fox News were coerced and in no place to resist sexual coercion, which is a crime.
I also have a hard time giving this 5 stars because, as a lawyer who exclusively focuses on helping employees in this type of situation, most of my clients will not even face the problems Ms. Carlson talks about in her book. NDAs and arbitration are real problems, for sure. But, they don’t stop the danger in the immediate situation.
So, I don’t disagree with this book. I just think it offers some solutions that have not worked yet.
I think our IMPACT training works better. I’m definitely biased as someone it worked for and someone blank has seen it work in many situations.
Also all the support and love possible to all the women at Fox News.
I have tremendous respect for how hard it is to break with cultural narratives we’ve been hurt by and benefitted from at the same time. It seems like some women at Fox News were coerced and in no place to resist sexual coercion, which is a crime.
I also have a hard time giving this 5 stars because, as a lawyer who exclusively focuses on helping employees in this type of situation, most of my clients will not even face the problems Ms. Carlson talks about in her book. NDAs and arbitration are real problems, for sure. But, they don’t stop the danger in the immediate situation.
So, I don’t disagree with this book. I just think it offers some solutions that have not worked yet.
I think our IMPACT training works better. I’m definitely biased as someone it worked for and someone blank has seen it work in many situations.
Also all the support and love possible to all the women at Fox News.
November 2, 2017
Very practical guide for how to deal with sexual harassment in the professional context. Lots of useful tips. And inspiring rallying call tone on a nonpartisan issue. Only reason it’s not 5 Stars is the blind spot/lack of attention to intersectionality of other prejudices like racism, homophobia, class and ability which would make the message even more universal.
August 8, 2021
I highly recommend Gretchen Carlson’s book, Be Fierce. As a brother, father, and grandfather of women and girls, men would do well to read Ms. Carlson’s perspective, a woman’s viewpoint, on sexual harassment.
What’s brought to light is that harassment isn’t something girls or women ask for. As Carlson explains, “You don’t have to smile or ‘bring it on.’ You don’t have to say a word. You can be dressed in a short skirt or army fatigues or hospital scrubs. And in spite of the lingering doubt and guilt that most women feel, it’s not about something you did. It’s about what somebody else did to you.”
Women use the term “old boys club” or simply “boys club” to describe their work environments. Carlson filled in the blanks for me about what my sister told me in her hostile workplace after she came forward to protest being sexually harassed and then living through the ongoing retaliation of the “boys club” for the entirety of her career.
A 2016 study published in the Harvard Business Review noted the insidious nature of a male-dominated work culture: “Some men used subjugation of a women as a way to relate to other men and prove their masculinity, while reinforcing women’s lower status. At the same time, women who want to be part of the high-status group may play along with sexual harassment because they do not want to be further alienated from the high-status group (men). Women may even start to adopt the same behaviors as men to fit in and be ‘one of the guys.’ This creates an irony that women may be ignoring or downplaying sexual harassment to gain access to the boys’ club while men are using sexual harassment to keep women out.”
It’s a vicious cycle and my sister endured this abuse for years, from both men and women sycophants yearning to remain part of the boys club. I am proud of my sister and awed by her courage she expressed “in demanding to be heard and fighting for respect in their workplaces.” As Carlson articulates so well for women like my sister, “Against unbelievable odds – shame, retaliation, even lost jobs and careers – women are refusing to take it anymore. They are on the front lines of a long war, and there’s no way to sugarcoat it.”
More often than not, when a sexual harassment charge is leveled, the woman must go. “Why do women have to leave, while men accused of harassment often get to stay?’ asked both Carlson and my sister. They soon discovered through their own experiences that this was more often the norm than not. Both share the same birth decade and experienced similar boys clubs’ shenanigans.
I learned that the issue of empowerment is not just about grievances. It’s also about being fulfilled, happy, and confident in one’s chosen workplace. Carlson adds, “It’s about doing work you love, and not being afraid or chastened. It’s about standing up for yourself and not second-guessing or being obsessed with other people’s opinions. It’s about going to work every day without the fear that being a woman is going to get in the way of doing your job.”
As a man, I never had such fears. None of these issues arose throughout my career as I progressed in the profession of my choosing. It’s disgusting that so many women continue to be denied a career path free from harassment and advancement. It turns out that direct sexual harassment is often part of a larger scenario of discrimination and disempowerment across an organization, ingrained within its walls, to preserve power for a few, usually at the expense of women.
Avoid human resources when abuse occurs. They are not your friend or ally. Coming forward is very tough because harassers rarely act alone. As Carlson highlights, “They need people to cover for them, and because they often control compensation, careers, and so forth, enlisting enablers is not hard for them to do. In my mind, enablers are as blameworthy as the harassers themselves.” And HR is the biggest enabler of them all. My sister discovered this first hand. Not even human rights commissions support women in the workplace.
But there is hope. As Maya Angelou said, “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Carlson reported that the majority of those approaching her and thanking her for coming forward were men: “Yes, women did stop me [on the streets], but more were men. Many of them said, ‘Thank you for doing what you did for my daughters.’ And that became a common theme. Many of them wanted to shake my hand when they said it – ‘for my daughters.’”
In my case, I’d like to add thanks to my sister and Ms. Carlson on behalf of my three granddaughters, all who are under the age of ten. They must never go through what Ms. Carlson or my sister experienced in their respective workplaces.
Please go out and get Gretchen Carlson’s book, Be Fierce. And be sure to check out my sister’s book, COMPELLED: Workplace Sexual Harassment, Backlash, Bullying & Gaslighting (2021) by Karen Koslowsky-Jones.
What’s brought to light is that harassment isn’t something girls or women ask for. As Carlson explains, “You don’t have to smile or ‘bring it on.’ You don’t have to say a word. You can be dressed in a short skirt or army fatigues or hospital scrubs. And in spite of the lingering doubt and guilt that most women feel, it’s not about something you did. It’s about what somebody else did to you.”
Women use the term “old boys club” or simply “boys club” to describe their work environments. Carlson filled in the blanks for me about what my sister told me in her hostile workplace after she came forward to protest being sexually harassed and then living through the ongoing retaliation of the “boys club” for the entirety of her career.
A 2016 study published in the Harvard Business Review noted the insidious nature of a male-dominated work culture: “Some men used subjugation of a women as a way to relate to other men and prove their masculinity, while reinforcing women’s lower status. At the same time, women who want to be part of the high-status group may play along with sexual harassment because they do not want to be further alienated from the high-status group (men). Women may even start to adopt the same behaviors as men to fit in and be ‘one of the guys.’ This creates an irony that women may be ignoring or downplaying sexual harassment to gain access to the boys’ club while men are using sexual harassment to keep women out.”
It’s a vicious cycle and my sister endured this abuse for years, from both men and women sycophants yearning to remain part of the boys club. I am proud of my sister and awed by her courage she expressed “in demanding to be heard and fighting for respect in their workplaces.” As Carlson articulates so well for women like my sister, “Against unbelievable odds – shame, retaliation, even lost jobs and careers – women are refusing to take it anymore. They are on the front lines of a long war, and there’s no way to sugarcoat it.”
More often than not, when a sexual harassment charge is leveled, the woman must go. “Why do women have to leave, while men accused of harassment often get to stay?’ asked both Carlson and my sister. They soon discovered through their own experiences that this was more often the norm than not. Both share the same birth decade and experienced similar boys clubs’ shenanigans.
I learned that the issue of empowerment is not just about grievances. It’s also about being fulfilled, happy, and confident in one’s chosen workplace. Carlson adds, “It’s about doing work you love, and not being afraid or chastened. It’s about standing up for yourself and not second-guessing or being obsessed with other people’s opinions. It’s about going to work every day without the fear that being a woman is going to get in the way of doing your job.”
As a man, I never had such fears. None of these issues arose throughout my career as I progressed in the profession of my choosing. It’s disgusting that so many women continue to be denied a career path free from harassment and advancement. It turns out that direct sexual harassment is often part of a larger scenario of discrimination and disempowerment across an organization, ingrained within its walls, to preserve power for a few, usually at the expense of women.
Avoid human resources when abuse occurs. They are not your friend or ally. Coming forward is very tough because harassers rarely act alone. As Carlson highlights, “They need people to cover for them, and because they often control compensation, careers, and so forth, enlisting enablers is not hard for them to do. In my mind, enablers are as blameworthy as the harassers themselves.” And HR is the biggest enabler of them all. My sister discovered this first hand. Not even human rights commissions support women in the workplace.
But there is hope. As Maya Angelou said, “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” Carlson reported that the majority of those approaching her and thanking her for coming forward were men: “Yes, women did stop me [on the streets], but more were men. Many of them said, ‘Thank you for doing what you did for my daughters.’ And that became a common theme. Many of them wanted to shake my hand when they said it – ‘for my daughters.’”
In my case, I’d like to add thanks to my sister and Ms. Carlson on behalf of my three granddaughters, all who are under the age of ten. They must never go through what Ms. Carlson or my sister experienced in their respective workplaces.
Please go out and get Gretchen Carlson’s book, Be Fierce. And be sure to check out my sister’s book, COMPELLED: Workplace Sexual Harassment, Backlash, Bullying & Gaslighting (2021) by Karen Koslowsky-Jones.
August 29, 2020
I bought this book in Dollar General in February for only $1. I knew Gretchen Carlson more from her sexual harassment charges she filed against her then boss, Roger Ailes 4 years ago, as I never watched Fox & Friends. I’ve learnt (in this book), since then, she has become an advocate for women’s empowerment.
The MeToo Movement is not in the spotlight anymore. It has come and gone, and the news media has moved on. So, it’s women like Carlson who are still fighting the battle of standing up and not letting this topic go by the sidelines. A big thank you!
It was interesting reading a little about her: she was/is a talent violin player and was Miss America.
I finished this book 6 days ago. I’m really slow on the review. I’ve finished another book since then too. Ugh.
This is the best buck I’ve ever spent in my life! This book needs to be read by everybody, and I mean everybody, women and men in all walks of life and careers. Because women can relate (which woman hasn’t been sexual harassed?!) and males, especially who don’t believe (maybe, hopefully, they will get a better understanding of what, we, as women, go through on a daily basis) and for those that do and have our back, and want to do more. I wasn’t completed this book, before I was sending my 25-year-old daughter, who lives in another state, a text telling her she needs to read this book.
This book is Not about Gretchen Carlson’s story. In her settlement she was not allowed to talk about what happened. Be Fierce Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back is more about the women she interviewed and their stories. It was shocking reading how their careers were ruined because their company they worked for didn’t believe them/didn’t stand behind them/stood behind the male who did this to them. It’s also about what you can do to stand up for yourself, reminding us that Human Resources primary role is to serve the business, not us. She gives us statistics of how many sexual harassment cases are filed and the shocking realization that the majority of women never speak up! (I never did!) And there is so much more. She gives her recommendations, her encouragements and words of advice. Even giving us 6-1/2 pages of different resources, we can seek if we want to continue on with this fight, from fighting sexual harassment and abuse, to fighting bullying to raising empowered girls and boys, then giving us a list of further reading if we so desire.
She had me from the first page, and even though this is such a tough topic, I read the book in two days. It was gripping and powerful. It was also uplifting in getting women to take their power back! She encourages her reader to stand up, believe in yourself, “keep pressing ahead with your head held high and confidence brimming.”
And:
“Remember this: Harassment isn’t something you ask for. You didn’t have to smile or “bring it on.” You didn’t have to say a word. You can be dressed in a short skirt or army fatigues or hospital scrubs. And in spite of the lingering doubt and guilt that most women feel, it’s not about something you did. It’s about what somebody else did to you.”
The whole “forced arbitration” clause in employee and consumer contracts “the way it is used to settle even the most egregious cases of discrimination and sexual harassment, denying women their right to seek justice in the courts” is shocking and disgusting! “It’s disingenuous to say an employer can “voluntarily” waive rights before she even knows what such a waiver might entail” is enough to make a female scream at the injustice of not having a voice for rights in fighting/standing up for ourselves when something inappropriate was done to us!
I can’t stress enough, how much this is a book everyone should read. Thumbs up! A 5 out of 5!
The MeToo Movement is not in the spotlight anymore. It has come and gone, and the news media has moved on. So, it’s women like Carlson who are still fighting the battle of standing up and not letting this topic go by the sidelines. A big thank you!
It was interesting reading a little about her: she was/is a talent violin player and was Miss America.
I finished this book 6 days ago. I’m really slow on the review. I’ve finished another book since then too. Ugh.
This is the best buck I’ve ever spent in my life! This book needs to be read by everybody, and I mean everybody, women and men in all walks of life and careers. Because women can relate (which woman hasn’t been sexual harassed?!) and males, especially who don’t believe (maybe, hopefully, they will get a better understanding of what, we, as women, go through on a daily basis) and for those that do and have our back, and want to do more. I wasn’t completed this book, before I was sending my 25-year-old daughter, who lives in another state, a text telling her she needs to read this book.
This book is Not about Gretchen Carlson’s story. In her settlement she was not allowed to talk about what happened. Be Fierce Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back is more about the women she interviewed and their stories. It was shocking reading how their careers were ruined because their company they worked for didn’t believe them/didn’t stand behind them/stood behind the male who did this to them. It’s also about what you can do to stand up for yourself, reminding us that Human Resources primary role is to serve the business, not us. She gives us statistics of how many sexual harassment cases are filed and the shocking realization that the majority of women never speak up! (I never did!) And there is so much more. She gives her recommendations, her encouragements and words of advice. Even giving us 6-1/2 pages of different resources, we can seek if we want to continue on with this fight, from fighting sexual harassment and abuse, to fighting bullying to raising empowered girls and boys, then giving us a list of further reading if we so desire.
She had me from the first page, and even though this is such a tough topic, I read the book in two days. It was gripping and powerful. It was also uplifting in getting women to take their power back! She encourages her reader to stand up, believe in yourself, “keep pressing ahead with your head held high and confidence brimming.”
And:
“Remember this: Harassment isn’t something you ask for. You didn’t have to smile or “bring it on.” You didn’t have to say a word. You can be dressed in a short skirt or army fatigues or hospital scrubs. And in spite of the lingering doubt and guilt that most women feel, it’s not about something you did. It’s about what somebody else did to you.”
The whole “forced arbitration” clause in employee and consumer contracts “the way it is used to settle even the most egregious cases of discrimination and sexual harassment, denying women their right to seek justice in the courts” is shocking and disgusting! “It’s disingenuous to say an employer can “voluntarily” waive rights before she even knows what such a waiver might entail” is enough to make a female scream at the injustice of not having a voice for rights in fighting/standing up for ourselves when something inappropriate was done to us!
I can’t stress enough, how much this is a book everyone should read. Thumbs up! A 5 out of 5!
February 27, 2025
I wish I had read this before moving to Washington State. When a woman was harassed and refused to sign a contract basically saying they would say she resigned if she didn't sign, they escorted her off the property with police just because she wouldn't sign. That's the picture of coercive control. She asked the police to get evidence that they removed her for not signing the paper. Definitely saw things like that here in Washington. They are the picture of the worst nightmares described in this book. I wish I had read it before I had moved here. She tried to get paperwork from the police that they escorted her off for not signing a contract and trying to move forward with an anti-harassment action. These people really are psychopaths and psychopaths really are more like animals. They haven't learned a thing from the exact same stimulus repeatedly. That's a real intelligence issue.
This book is great because it says no to the "if you can't beat em, join em" or "they tried" positions. It says you have to fight it. It is in agreement with the other book that says you have to expect them to get really pathetic before it's extinct. They are more like animals than not as the psychopath brain does not have the prefrontal cortex of a normal homo sapien. They don't learn from the same stimulus, they can't control themselves, and they hit the same lever that worked once again and again, up to 40, 50, 60 times before they learn it doesn't work anymore. Like I said a commenter who kept commenting when they were getting scripted with the same script was just like that rat. Hitting the lever 40, 50, 60 times hoping the next comment would be different until there was an extinction burst. Unbelievably disabled failure to learn. These rats have the smallest brains and it's embarrassing to see humans acting like that instead of taking intelligent action, reflecting and researching. Almost complete lack of metacognition.
This book is great because it says no to the "if you can't beat em, join em" or "they tried" positions. It says you have to fight it. It is in agreement with the other book that says you have to expect them to get really pathetic before it's extinct. They are more like animals than not as the psychopath brain does not have the prefrontal cortex of a normal homo sapien. They don't learn from the same stimulus, they can't control themselves, and they hit the same lever that worked once again and again, up to 40, 50, 60 times before they learn it doesn't work anymore. Like I said a commenter who kept commenting when they were getting scripted with the same script was just like that rat. Hitting the lever 40, 50, 60 times hoping the next comment would be different until there was an extinction burst. Unbelievably disabled failure to learn. These rats have the smallest brains and it's embarrassing to see humans acting like that instead of taking intelligent action, reflecting and researching. Almost complete lack of metacognition.
December 21, 2017
A must read for men and women, but especially men. Anyone who doesn’t think the Me Too movement is a positive develop in our culture must read this book. It is a very interesting and quick read.
While the books title is “Be Fierce” it doesn’t put the burden on women alone. Gretchen Carlson recognizes that there are women who are not in a position to speak out, which is even more of a reason that we need a societal movement and she recognized that men need to change the way they behave and speak about women. And more importantly she recognizes that this starts with the messages we give children, both boys and girls.
A few things I wish it contained:
-This book focuses mostly on sexual assault and harassment while mostly neglecting discussions about sexual discrimination which almost every woman, and certainly every woman engaged in a professional or traditionally male dominated career, has experienced.
-more statistics
-There are women who claim to have never been sexually harassed, assaulted and discriminated against (or men that show disdain for the “me too” movement but claim they have never treated a woman unfairly. Their disdain for it alone is sexist.) Unless they grew up in a bubble, I find it hard to believe. The more likely scenario is that they have an outdated view of what constitutes sexual harassment, assault or discrimination. There are those that still think certain behaviors that minimize a woman’s power are acceptable. Perhaps a self assessment list with questions that help women and men recognize these behaviors would be a nice addition to this book.
- She rightfully focused on the language we use with and in front of children but it also would have been good to mention the impact of the language used (and false assumptions made) with other adults.
While the books title is “Be Fierce” it doesn’t put the burden on women alone. Gretchen Carlson recognizes that there are women who are not in a position to speak out, which is even more of a reason that we need a societal movement and she recognized that men need to change the way they behave and speak about women. And more importantly she recognizes that this starts with the messages we give children, both boys and girls.
A few things I wish it contained:
-This book focuses mostly on sexual assault and harassment while mostly neglecting discussions about sexual discrimination which almost every woman, and certainly every woman engaged in a professional or traditionally male dominated career, has experienced.
-more statistics
-There are women who claim to have never been sexually harassed, assaulted and discriminated against (or men that show disdain for the “me too” movement but claim they have never treated a woman unfairly. Their disdain for it alone is sexist.) Unless they grew up in a bubble, I find it hard to believe. The more likely scenario is that they have an outdated view of what constitutes sexual harassment, assault or discrimination. There are those that still think certain behaviors that minimize a woman’s power are acceptable. Perhaps a self assessment list with questions that help women and men recognize these behaviors would be a nice addition to this book.
- She rightfully focused on the language we use with and in front of children but it also would have been good to mention the impact of the language used (and false assumptions made) with other adults.
March 8, 2018
How to Be Fierce in the Face of Harassment
Broadcaster Gretchen Carlson's Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back makes it clear that Carlson has settled comfortably into her role as a leader in the movement to end workplace sexual harassment since making public allegations of sexual harassment by Roger Ailes, the chairman and chief executive officer of Fox News and the Fox Television Stations Group (which resulted in his resignation, a settlement, and an apology from the network). With confidence and optimism Carlson molds stories into a rallying cry for women to exercise their power.
Be Fierce also functions as an autobiography of sorts. Carlson shares how her upbringing shaped the self-described "badass" she became — and that other women can be, too. While that childhood imbued her with the self-possession her writing exudes, it also perhaps illuminates the reason for the naïveté of some of her conclusions: For instance, because her career has often featured men who “would not dream of treating women disrespectfully,” she believes that those men are the rule rather than the exception — a belief with which women without Carlson’s privileges may disagree.
The book encourages victims of sexual harassment to be fierce, which in today’s climate is a necessary skill — but in doing so it places the onus of preventing sexual harassment on the victims. Carlson balances high expectations with solid advice, dispelled myths, and real-life examples. As America reckons with the sexual harassment epidemic, Be Fierce is a useful resource — and a reminder that no matter how alienating sexual harassment can be, you are never alone.
This review originally appeared in the winter 2018 issue of AAUW's membership magazine, AAUW Outlook.
Broadcaster Gretchen Carlson's Be Fierce: Stop Harassment and Take Your Power Back makes it clear that Carlson has settled comfortably into her role as a leader in the movement to end workplace sexual harassment since making public allegations of sexual harassment by Roger Ailes, the chairman and chief executive officer of Fox News and the Fox Television Stations Group (which resulted in his resignation, a settlement, and an apology from the network). With confidence and optimism Carlson molds stories into a rallying cry for women to exercise their power.
Be Fierce also functions as an autobiography of sorts. Carlson shares how her upbringing shaped the self-described "badass" she became — and that other women can be, too. While that childhood imbued her with the self-possession her writing exudes, it also perhaps illuminates the reason for the naïveté of some of her conclusions: For instance, because her career has often featured men who “would not dream of treating women disrespectfully,” she believes that those men are the rule rather than the exception — a belief with which women without Carlson’s privileges may disagree.
The book encourages victims of sexual harassment to be fierce, which in today’s climate is a necessary skill — but in doing so it places the onus of preventing sexual harassment on the victims. Carlson balances high expectations with solid advice, dispelled myths, and real-life examples. As America reckons with the sexual harassment epidemic, Be Fierce is a useful resource — and a reminder that no matter how alienating sexual harassment can be, you are never alone.
This review originally appeared in the winter 2018 issue of AAUW's membership magazine, AAUW Outlook.
November 10, 2017
Gretchen Carlson displays what Brene Brown would say as being vulnerable and transparent about being braving to change the work culture of both men and women of society today. She is behind a leading movement to inspire both women and men in the battle against bullying, sexual harassment and safe work environments. She walks the reader through how to handle an off color joke and to seek our lawyers beyond your average HR personnel in the work place. This isn't just a book, but a tool, especially when these situations cause stress.
Be Fierce isn't just for women, it's for men too. You see, there are a lot of men who show their wives and daughters the respect they deserve, because are all human after all. It's common sense to treat people with respect regardless of gender. More men are beginning to speak up about women being mis-treated and that is causing them to be shamed by other men. This book is about being in tune with your personal values and staying true to you, your beliefs and what you hold to me true. I loved that most of this book is useful and practical, while the rest of it had motivational, stories. This book is great for anyone going into the work force or for someone who has experienced issues in the past and is wondering how to handle it.
I give this book 4.5/5 stars. Thank you to the publishers for providing a complimentary copy. A favorable review was not required.
Be Fierce isn't just for women, it's for men too. You see, there are a lot of men who show their wives and daughters the respect they deserve, because are all human after all. It's common sense to treat people with respect regardless of gender. More men are beginning to speak up about women being mis-treated and that is causing them to be shamed by other men. This book is about being in tune with your personal values and staying true to you, your beliefs and what you hold to me true. I loved that most of this book is useful and practical, while the rest of it had motivational, stories. This book is great for anyone going into the work force or for someone who has experienced issues in the past and is wondering how to handle it.
I give this book 4.5/5 stars. Thank you to the publishers for providing a complimentary copy. A favorable review was not required.
August 1, 2020
Gretchen Carlson's Be Fierce is a fantastic read for everyone. She talks openly about her experience as a victim of sexual harassment in the workplace from decades of having it happen to her. But she doesn't just highlight her own harassment, she writes about several other women who have had the same abuse happen and what consequences their attacker received. (It is sad to say, most cases, the attacker does not and did not receive any consequences.) But that is why I believe Gretchen needed to write this.
Gretchen continues to detail ways for you to fight back, strong advice from others to help and support you if this is happening to you. She even included in the end, groups that you can volunteer and be apart of to help end harassment in the workplace and to take your power back.
I found the different stories where this sort of thing happens to be very interesting. For example, I didn't even think of the women in the military who deal with this sort of thing or even women working for companies that their whole slogan is about equal rights for all, but yet are victims of sexual harassment, just because they are a woman.
I admire Gretchen Carlson for her strength and for being a wonderful role model for the young girls and especially for writing this. I couldn't imagine what she went through in the public eye, but she handled it with grace and strength. I feel like there is a lot of great material in this book for all companies' HR departments to review.
Gretchen continues to detail ways for you to fight back, strong advice from others to help and support you if this is happening to you. She even included in the end, groups that you can volunteer and be apart of to help end harassment in the workplace and to take your power back.
I found the different stories where this sort of thing happens to be very interesting. For example, I didn't even think of the women in the military who deal with this sort of thing or even women working for companies that their whole slogan is about equal rights for all, but yet are victims of sexual harassment, just because they are a woman.
I admire Gretchen Carlson for her strength and for being a wonderful role model for the young girls and especially for writing this. I couldn't imagine what she went through in the public eye, but she handled it with grace and strength. I feel like there is a lot of great material in this book for all companies' HR departments to review.
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