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Die Empty
middle age (mid′l-āj) n. 1. Spending one year’s disposable income on vinyl figures, only to realize a complete He-Man collection isn’t going to make your current life any better. Beast Man and Cyclops don’t give a fuck about you or your failing marriage. 2. Resolving to die empty and alone. 3. Death showing up at your office door in need of a vacation. 4. Designing goods for Death that inspire consumer-driven fatalities—faulty steering mechanisms, toxic dishwasher detergent inserts that look like jumbo fruit snacks—anything that will help tip people over the edge before Death has to pursue them. 5. Waking to find your house chock-full of the merchandise you created, merchandise designed to kill. Now everything from pouring your cereal to activating your car’s cigarette lighter has become a death trap. Yet as your world falls apart, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to fucking die.
- GenresBizarro FictionHorror
178 pages, Paperback
First published August 30, 2017
18 people are currently reading
454 people want to read
About the author
Kirk Jones
32 books105 followersKirk Jones (k3rk Dʒoʊnz): 1. English Director of Nanny McPhee 2. "Sticky Fingaz," rap artist and actor who played Blade for the television series 3. Canadian who survived a dive over Niagara Falls . . . only to return and pass upon his second attempt. 4. Boring white author of Uncle Sam's Carnival of Copulating Inanimals (Eraserhead Press, 2010), Journey to Abortosphere (Rooster Republic, 2014), and Die Empty (Atlatl, 2017) who often gets mistaken for the other, arguably more notable, Kirk Jones fellows. 5. Also not Kirk Byron Jones.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
November 16, 2017
You're forty and work a dead end job. You've tried giving your life meaning through possessions and failed. Your wife is having an affair with the neighbor and thinks you don't know. When Death shows up at your door with a job to do, what other choice do you have?
I first encountered Kirk Jones through the New Bizarro author series years ago, with Uncle Sam’s Carnival of Copulating Inanimals, and then years later with Journey to Abortosphere. The thing that sets his writing apart from other Bizarro fiction is that his stories always have a underlying logic no matter how demented things are on the surface. When he hit me up to read Die Empty, I was up for another run.
Die Empty is the story of one man's journey into middle age and the deal he made with Death. Told using a second person point of view, there's an odd intimacy to the tale. It's at once funny and depressing. Actually, the main character reminds me of the main character from Fight Club, only without all the macho bullshit going on.
Entering your forties sucks. You're not old yet but you're not young anymore. Die Empty captures this nicely. Lance, the main character, works a dead end job, lusts after every woman except his drunk wife, and basically coasts along. He hates his neighbor and not just because of the affair he's having with his wife. When Death shows up, Lance doesn't really have anything better to do but help Death claim some lives through shitty products in exchange for forty more years of life.
I'm not really selling this right but it's a hard book to quantify. Once I started reading it, that was pretty much it. There's humor, sadness, some time paradoxes, and even some lessons to be learned. I'm docking a fraction of a star because the Masters of the Universe action figures' name was Tri-Klops, not Cyclops.
Die Empty is a thought-provoking read, to say the least. It's not for everyone but if you're looking for something off the beaten path, this is it. Four out of five stars, adjusted for Tri-Klops.
I first encountered Kirk Jones through the New Bizarro author series years ago, with Uncle Sam’s Carnival of Copulating Inanimals, and then years later with Journey to Abortosphere. The thing that sets his writing apart from other Bizarro fiction is that his stories always have a underlying logic no matter how demented things are on the surface. When he hit me up to read Die Empty, I was up for another run.
Die Empty is the story of one man's journey into middle age and the deal he made with Death. Told using a second person point of view, there's an odd intimacy to the tale. It's at once funny and depressing. Actually, the main character reminds me of the main character from Fight Club, only without all the macho bullshit going on.
Entering your forties sucks. You're not old yet but you're not young anymore. Die Empty captures this nicely. Lance, the main character, works a dead end job, lusts after every woman except his drunk wife, and basically coasts along. He hates his neighbor and not just because of the affair he's having with his wife. When Death shows up, Lance doesn't really have anything better to do but help Death claim some lives through shitty products in exchange for forty more years of life.
I'm not really selling this right but it's a hard book to quantify. Once I started reading it, that was pretty much it. There's humor, sadness, some time paradoxes, and even some lessons to be learned. I'm docking a fraction of a star because the Masters of the Universe action figures' name was Tri-Klops, not Cyclops.
Die Empty is a thought-provoking read, to say the least. It's not for everyone but if you're looking for something off the beaten path, this is it. Four out of five stars, adjusted for Tri-Klops.
November 21, 2017
the author sent me a copy of this book, offering me many suggestions about what i could do with it, if “reading it” was too conventional:
You could compost it and plant flowers in it. You could use the chapters as sandwich toppings. You could tar and feather it and put it on a "book of shame" shelf on a street corner somewhere.
i was further advised -
If you don't compost the book, this one might actually be thick enough to use as a door stop of the wedge variety. It is no good as toilet paper though . . .
sounds like a challenge to me!
You could compost it and plant flowers in it. You could use the chapters as sandwich toppings. You could tar and feather it and put it on a "book of shame" shelf on a street corner somewhere.
i was further advised -
If you don't compost the book, this one might actually be thick enough to use as a door stop of the wedge variety. It is no good as toilet paper though . . .
sounds like a challenge to me!
September 27, 2017
"You were born full of desire, void of understanding." By middle age, you buy what you can to fill the emptiness that cannot be placated. Memories must be made into physical tokens so that you can own them, regardless of whether the recollections were true or imagined. You piece clues together into infinite patterns to determine the meaning of your existence. When you discover truth, you regret your search. Deals can be made and schemes can be marketed, but ultimately, this does not provide you with satisfaction. You yearn to reach the point where you are "full of understanding, void of desire." Dying empty is the ultimate release. Brimming with pathos, humor, longing, and struggle, Die Empty is a book to be carefully read and appreciated, perhaps more than once.
December 25, 2017
Wow, there’s a lot going on in this one and I’m still kind of processing it.
This was DARK. But also kinda funny, because it’s somewhat cavalier with its darkness. The protagonist, Lance, is not the kind of guy you can root for. He signed a contract with Death and now works designing intentionally-flawed products that people could accidentally kill themselves with. He’s petty and self-pitying and mean-spirited and depressed. His wife is awful. So are his neighbors. Everyone deserves what’s coming to them in one way or another. But to make matters worse, Lance is having multiple instances of the Mandela Effect, which make him as unreliable as narrators come. While it sounds confusing, Jones knows how to spin the plates, to keep the story moving. Even if things start to feel a little shaky, we’re quickly barreling into the next scene, and onward with the story.
I wouldn’t read this if you’re in the mood for something feel-good or inspirational. But if you want a dark, weird, violent story about domestic horror and suburban ennui, then this book’ll be right up your alley.
This was DARK. But also kinda funny, because it’s somewhat cavalier with its darkness. The protagonist, Lance, is not the kind of guy you can root for. He signed a contract with Death and now works designing intentionally-flawed products that people could accidentally kill themselves with. He’s petty and self-pitying and mean-spirited and depressed. His wife is awful. So are his neighbors. Everyone deserves what’s coming to them in one way or another. But to make matters worse, Lance is having multiple instances of the Mandela Effect, which make him as unreliable as narrators come. While it sounds confusing, Jones knows how to spin the plates, to keep the story moving. Even if things start to feel a little shaky, we’re quickly barreling into the next scene, and onward with the story.
I wouldn’t read this if you’re in the mood for something feel-good or inspirational. But if you want a dark, weird, violent story about domestic horror and suburban ennui, then this book’ll be right up your alley.
Read
March 13, 2018I won’t star rate my own books, but I do like to use the review option to talk a bit about each book.
And myself.
This book was written when I was finishing up my dissertation. It was the book I wrote to prove to myself I could write creatively and do scholarship. That proved more difficult than I anticipated, given the unwieldy task of completing a dissertation.
If I were to characterize the period during which this book was written with a single word, it would be this: submission. I had submitted to the reality of my limitations as a scholar, fiction author, and teacher. I didn’t know if I was going to finish my PhD. I had settled on the very likely possibility that I would lose my job (if I didn’t finish my terminal degree), and work a minimum-wage job, barely making ends meet.
There were days where I thought that would be preferable to spending another day working on my dissertation.
I was just beginning to lose the 50lbs I had gained yet again.
My blood pressure was through the roof.
I had failed to complete two books (because I never wanted to start writing them anyway), and I had cut my final ties with one publisher and saw a shift in leadership at my other publisher.
I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
But I knew I was going to write this goddamned book about the world’s most boring serial killer.
And this one absolute, this one element of my life I had any semblance of control over, steered me through a very dark time of uncertainty.
I had one friend tell me Die Empty tends to feel rushed at the end. I believe, looking back, that this is because the book had served its purpose. I knew if I didn’t finish the book before I emerged from the rough patch in life, the demeanor of the book would change.
I wrote this book on an emotional deadline. And so, when the nightmare reached its denouement, so too did the book.
When it was completed, everything in life was falling into place. The dissertation was almost done. A book I had written the previous year had been accepted for publication (it is coming out in May through Apex). I had found a new professional interest that brought new life back into my job.
So of course I had to start freaking out that something would go wrong, and then engage in panic-induced, self-destructive behavior until I started writing again.
This is the cycle that best characterizes life now.
Panic > flirt with disaster > write > publish > repeat
I’m glad everyone who read Die Empty got to be a part of the more pleasant portion of this cycle.
And I’m sorry for those who had to deal with me during those first two stages.
Since the book’s release, I have heard good things from a few people. But more often than not, I have heard an unsettling silence from buyers when compared to my earlier releases. I have come to the conclusion (or perhaps more accurately, delusion) that Die Empty is too painful a read. Few characters carry redeemable qualities. Reading the knot-inducing awkwardness of the protagonist’s struggle with his desires is akin to watching cringe videos on YouTube.
The outlook on life contained therein is bleak, and what hope remains in tact gets chipped away as the book moves forward, until by the end the characters aren’t even sure if they want what they though they wanted all along.
And it is dirty. Filled with pathetic, passionless sex, flaccid members, and just everything and anything that could go wrong during sexual intercourse.
Younger audiences have yet to go through the crippling death and subsequent compromise of dreams.
My peers are either steeped in it or fighting the good fight against time and reality.
But my old high school teachers, the ones in their twilight years who have come to terms with all the shit middle aged people fret endlessly about? They had a good time with Die Empty.
For me, Die Empty is the upturned, bloated belly of the long-dead American dream, and it’s painful to look at from the outside.
But for some reason, when we’re all living inside of it, it doesn’t seem so bad.
I’m reminded of an episode of Ren & Stimpy, where the two live inside a whale carcass. The cartoon-like renderings highlight the humor of the situation. There’s a veneer conducive to denial therein.
Then you see the whale from the outside in all its fetid glory and you’re like, “oh god, why?!”
And I think if I can fault myself for anything regarding this book, it is that I didn’t polish the beginning of the book with that same cartoon-like veneer, that I didn’t draw people in for a bait and switch by starting off with kinder characters and lighter themes.
But I’d rather believe that Die Empty is uncompromising and refused to pull punches as it painted the whale carcass that is the dead American dream with all of us surrounding it, begrudgingly saying, “cheese” through gritted teeth.
And I love and am deeply proud of this book for all of the reasons mentioned above.
And myself.
This book was written when I was finishing up my dissertation. It was the book I wrote to prove to myself I could write creatively and do scholarship. That proved more difficult than I anticipated, given the unwieldy task of completing a dissertation.
If I were to characterize the period during which this book was written with a single word, it would be this: submission. I had submitted to the reality of my limitations as a scholar, fiction author, and teacher. I didn’t know if I was going to finish my PhD. I had settled on the very likely possibility that I would lose my job (if I didn’t finish my terminal degree), and work a minimum-wage job, barely making ends meet.
There were days where I thought that would be preferable to spending another day working on my dissertation.
I was just beginning to lose the 50lbs I had gained yet again.
My blood pressure was through the roof.
I had failed to complete two books (because I never wanted to start writing them anyway), and I had cut my final ties with one publisher and saw a shift in leadership at my other publisher.
I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
But I knew I was going to write this goddamned book about the world’s most boring serial killer.
And this one absolute, this one element of my life I had any semblance of control over, steered me through a very dark time of uncertainty.
I had one friend tell me Die Empty tends to feel rushed at the end. I believe, looking back, that this is because the book had served its purpose. I knew if I didn’t finish the book before I emerged from the rough patch in life, the demeanor of the book would change.
I wrote this book on an emotional deadline. And so, when the nightmare reached its denouement, so too did the book.
When it was completed, everything in life was falling into place. The dissertation was almost done. A book I had written the previous year had been accepted for publication (it is coming out in May through Apex). I had found a new professional interest that brought new life back into my job.
So of course I had to start freaking out that something would go wrong, and then engage in panic-induced, self-destructive behavior until I started writing again.
This is the cycle that best characterizes life now.
Panic > flirt with disaster > write > publish > repeat
I’m glad everyone who read Die Empty got to be a part of the more pleasant portion of this cycle.
And I’m sorry for those who had to deal with me during those first two stages.
Since the book’s release, I have heard good things from a few people. But more often than not, I have heard an unsettling silence from buyers when compared to my earlier releases. I have come to the conclusion (or perhaps more accurately, delusion) that Die Empty is too painful a read. Few characters carry redeemable qualities. Reading the knot-inducing awkwardness of the protagonist’s struggle with his desires is akin to watching cringe videos on YouTube.
The outlook on life contained therein is bleak, and what hope remains in tact gets chipped away as the book moves forward, until by the end the characters aren’t even sure if they want what they though they wanted all along.
And it is dirty. Filled with pathetic, passionless sex, flaccid members, and just everything and anything that could go wrong during sexual intercourse.
Younger audiences have yet to go through the crippling death and subsequent compromise of dreams.
My peers are either steeped in it or fighting the good fight against time and reality.
But my old high school teachers, the ones in their twilight years who have come to terms with all the shit middle aged people fret endlessly about? They had a good time with Die Empty.
For me, Die Empty is the upturned, bloated belly of the long-dead American dream, and it’s painful to look at from the outside.
But for some reason, when we’re all living inside of it, it doesn’t seem so bad.
I’m reminded of an episode of Ren & Stimpy, where the two live inside a whale carcass. The cartoon-like renderings highlight the humor of the situation. There’s a veneer conducive to denial therein.
Then you see the whale from the outside in all its fetid glory and you’re like, “oh god, why?!”
And I think if I can fault myself for anything regarding this book, it is that I didn’t polish the beginning of the book with that same cartoon-like veneer, that I didn’t draw people in for a bait and switch by starting off with kinder characters and lighter themes.
But I’d rather believe that Die Empty is uncompromising and refused to pull punches as it painted the whale carcass that is the dead American dream with all of us surrounding it, begrudgingly saying, “cheese” through gritted teeth.
And I love and am deeply proud of this book for all of the reasons mentioned above.
December 31, 2017
Middle age...a time of change. A time to be tired of the routine and a time to feel hopeless as well? So you've got a cheating drunk wife, a materialistic schmuck of a neighbor, and a job that provides you with all that you need, and it all feels so empty. There is nothing to look forward to and nothing that really brings any satisfaction. How about a contract with Death? Will you design products that help in killing humans a bit more quickly? There are many potentially dangerous items out there that need just a little tweak. Will he help you in the quest for knowledge and closure with your estranged father in return?
With Death’s arrival Die Empty gets weirder, there are more laughs to be had, it becomes great. Kirk Jones sardonically takes apart middle age and all of it's ups and downs in an addicting storyline. The mix of humor with all of the darker subject matter is a highlight. The second person narrative is handled without a single hiccup. The characters are all ones we know personally in some form. A book I could not put down. Recommended.
With Death’s arrival Die Empty gets weirder, there are more laughs to be had, it becomes great. Kirk Jones sardonically takes apart middle age and all of it's ups and downs in an addicting storyline. The mix of humor with all of the darker subject matter is a highlight. The second person narrative is handled without a single hiccup. The characters are all ones we know personally in some form. A book I could not put down. Recommended.
September 17, 2017
Dying empty is the goal
This book starts off as a bleak and hilarious meditation on middle age and consumerism. When Death shows up, wanting our unhappy hero to take a more active role in the business, things only get darker and funnier.
Die Empty is written in the second person. Despite falling in love with the voice and the story within a few pages, I was worried the style wouldn't be sustainable through a whole novel. I'm not sure I've read a whole book in second person since the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure series. It turned out my fears were unfounded. Jones does an impeccable job, and the atypical narration becomes transparent very early on. I couldn't put this down.
This book starts off as a bleak and hilarious meditation on middle age and consumerism. When Death shows up, wanting our unhappy hero to take a more active role in the business, things only get darker and funnier.
Die Empty is written in the second person. Despite falling in love with the voice and the story within a few pages, I was worried the style wouldn't be sustainable through a whole novel. I'm not sure I've read a whole book in second person since the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure series. It turned out my fears were unfounded. Jones does an impeccable job, and the atypical narration becomes transparent very early on. I couldn't put this down.
September 15, 2018
I'm left fulfilled after reading DIE EMPTY. What should have been a sort of depressing read was actually quite uplifting in an odd way. Kirk Jones seemed to lay it all on the line in this one and came up aces.
The story to DIE EMPTY is riveting and should be relatable to most anyone who has lived and loved and lost. But where this book REALLY shines is in its execution of the 2nd person perpective. Anytime a writer is able to pull that off and do it as well as it was done in this book, the result is breathtaking.
DIE EMPTY rang with the spirit of a Chad Kultgen novel. But Kirk Jones makes it all his by being a bit less crass and pouring in a lot more heart. Don't die until you read DIE EMPTY.
The story to DIE EMPTY is riveting and should be relatable to most anyone who has lived and loved and lost. But where this book REALLY shines is in its execution of the 2nd person perpective. Anytime a writer is able to pull that off and do it as well as it was done in this book, the result is breathtaking.
DIE EMPTY rang with the spirit of a Chad Kultgen novel. But Kirk Jones makes it all his by being a bit less crass and pouring in a lot more heart. Don't die until you read DIE EMPTY.
January 5, 2018
I really wanted to win this book through the Goodreads giveaway but I didn't. Since I didn't win I bought the ebook instead. I'm glad I did because I really enjoyed it! I was surprised to find it was written in second person, I've only read a few books like that and they were kind of weird. Die Empty was written exceptionally well, the perspective didn't pull me out of the story at all. I'll have to make it a point to read more from Mr. Jones in the future.
March 21, 2021
So many years ago I made some large life changes and I happened to lose my goodreads password(not a life change just a thing that happened). Trust me it was better that way you likely didn't want to hear about all the programming books I was reading. You might have liked to hear about the romance books I was reading (Christina Lauren is highly recommended if you have having a bad day).
Well I reset my password I don't know like a week ago and I checked my messages because why wouldn't I. I mean it was mostly spam. Goodreads announcing events and authors I'd never heard of. But one message was from Kirk Jones 3 years ago offering me a reviewers copy of this book (thanks for thinking of me). I of course had not ever responded because I wasn't checking goodreads, but I thought Die Empty, yeah I could be on board for that. And I went on Amazon and bought a copy immediately (for what it's worth I'm not really a great candidate for review copies anymore because I build cap table management software, but I still want to read all the books, also a 3 year delay is unforgivable, oops).
So on the book? What does it mean to die empty? Before I started the book I had a few ideas:
* nihilism you die feeling empty
* buddhism you die empty of desires
* no lunch, you die hungry
This book started in a weird place it started at the accumulation of things. That if you could buy everything you could die free of desire. Which I was initially confused by. Maybe money can buy happiness and I just haven't bought enough things. Maybe I can learn from Lance and just buy all the things.
As a side note this book is written in the second person which is extremely disorienting.
As we find that Lance unfortunately is not dying empty because he has achieved all his dreams and has a perfect life, but he is actually possibly a little suicidal it turns out that you cannot buy happiness. Shocker.
Lance is offered a deal which he expects to give him meaning and make him want to be alive again... you know how that happens sometimes.
This is a book for those people that go through life with an undercurrent of suicidal tendencies. The people who death can see because their desire to die makes them shine a little brighter. The ones who think about it, but can't work up the desire to actually do anything about it. People who would prefer to be dead, but aren't willing to push themselves in front of the train.
I have no idea if a fundamentally happy person would like this book. Can someone happy read it and let me know?
** this is a spoiler that you should not click if you have not read the book. It won't make sense
I plan to go put this book in a little library to inflict it on an unsuspecting random neighbor. This makes me feel happy.
Well I reset my password I don't know like a week ago and I checked my messages because why wouldn't I. I mean it was mostly spam. Goodreads announcing events and authors I'd never heard of. But one message was from Kirk Jones 3 years ago offering me a reviewers copy of this book (thanks for thinking of me). I of course had not ever responded because I wasn't checking goodreads, but I thought Die Empty, yeah I could be on board for that. And I went on Amazon and bought a copy immediately (for what it's worth I'm not really a great candidate for review copies anymore because I build cap table management software, but I still want to read all the books, also a 3 year delay is unforgivable, oops).
So on the book? What does it mean to die empty? Before I started the book I had a few ideas:
* nihilism you die feeling empty
* buddhism you die empty of desires
* no lunch, you die hungry
This book started in a weird place it started at the accumulation of things. That if you could buy everything you could die free of desire. Which I was initially confused by. Maybe money can buy happiness and I just haven't bought enough things. Maybe I can learn from Lance and just buy all the things.
As a side note this book is written in the second person which is extremely disorienting.
As we find that Lance unfortunately is not dying empty because he has achieved all his dreams and has a perfect life, but he is actually possibly a little suicidal it turns out that you cannot buy happiness. Shocker.
Lance is offered a deal which he expects to give him meaning and make him want to be alive again... you know how that happens sometimes.
This is a book for those people that go through life with an undercurrent of suicidal tendencies. The people who death can see because their desire to die makes them shine a little brighter. The ones who think about it, but can't work up the desire to actually do anything about it. People who would prefer to be dead, but aren't willing to push themselves in front of the train.
I have no idea if a fundamentally happy person would like this book. Can someone happy read it and let me know?
** this is a spoiler that you should not click if you have not read the book. It won't make sense
I plan to go put this book in a little library to inflict it on an unsuspecting random neighbor. This makes me feel happy.
January 4, 2018
Gritty, shameless, and dark, dark, dark.
If you've ever stared nihilism in the face and it looked less like a void of nothingness and more like a whole bottle of delicious Flintstone vitamins, including the carbon chloride laced silica gel packet, you may like Die Empty.
At least, I think. I'm still digesting it/them.
If you've ever stared nihilism in the face and it looked less like a void of nothingness and more like a whole bottle of delicious Flintstone vitamins, including the carbon chloride laced silica gel packet, you may like Die Empty.
At least, I think. I'm still digesting it/them.
February 13, 2019
Welcome to life goals. Middle age has hit and Kirk Jones takes you on an enjoyable ride through things that pull us apart every day as we approach the end. A simple job, a drunk and flirtatious wife, annoying neighbors, the discomfort in knowing life is halfway over and seems to have stalled for the main character, Lance. Boredom and disappointment clog his thoughts, embarrassment and zero interest in actually doing something to change anything. But it's the thought that counts.
Stories written in the second person can be difficult to follow, almost abrasive like being talked AT instead of being the casual observer in the background, watching the events unfold and the lives of so many characters fall apart around you. Witnessing the ups and downs of their short lives in the pages where we know them. This one, however, is executed well enough to invite you in and sit you at the awkward dinner table with them all, and pull you into a conspiratorial partnership with the main character, feeling exactly as he should, since it's happening to you.
Because it is you.
Lance is me. Lance is you. We are the wife, the neighbor, the intern, her boyfriend, the father we never really knew, a sweaty dude named Meat, some old guy missing his pants, and then Death comes along to mix it all up even more.
Very entertaining read, the masterful use of second-person pulled me right in and powered the emotions behind the everyday boredom and disappointment we feel as we grow older, and highlighted the beauty of something as simple as dying empty. The story wasn't a big complaint or sappy and uncomfortable, it dealt with dark themes in honest and clever ways, guaranteed to pull a few laughs from you. The gruesome bits are described perfectly, enough to force a bit of a cringe, but doesn't slow the story at all. Loved it.
Stories written in the second person can be difficult to follow, almost abrasive like being talked AT instead of being the casual observer in the background, watching the events unfold and the lives of so many characters fall apart around you. Witnessing the ups and downs of their short lives in the pages where we know them. This one, however, is executed well enough to invite you in and sit you at the awkward dinner table with them all, and pull you into a conspiratorial partnership with the main character, feeling exactly as he should, since it's happening to you.
Because it is you.
Lance is me. Lance is you. We are the wife, the neighbor, the intern, her boyfriend, the father we never really knew, a sweaty dude named Meat, some old guy missing his pants, and then Death comes along to mix it all up even more.
Very entertaining read, the masterful use of second-person pulled me right in and powered the emotions behind the everyday boredom and disappointment we feel as we grow older, and highlighted the beauty of something as simple as dying empty. The story wasn't a big complaint or sappy and uncomfortable, it dealt with dark themes in honest and clever ways, guaranteed to pull a few laughs from you. The gruesome bits are described perfectly, enough to force a bit of a cringe, but doesn't slow the story at all. Loved it.
May 23, 2018
Dark, funny and melancholic. Die Empty is a satirical look at middle age from the perspective of Lance, a middle-aged man, who is bitter and depressed about his current circumstances. Lance is having marital troubles and his job, while financially stable brings him no real happiness. While I initially felt sorry for Lance with time you realize he doesn’t deserve much sympathy. Especially when he makes a deal with Death (Grim Reaper style) for extended life in return for being an “ideas man” to create inconspicuous ways for people to die. He even tries to leverage his ideas to kill his wife and rival neighbor. That is really only the start though, there are other characters and side plots that are intertwined with the main narrative. As I said the story is dark and brooding most of the time but there is also subtle humor that gives the story some humanity. Particularly the relationship between Lance and Death. Death being in the story also adds an element of supernatural to an otherwise literary noir story. Jones is in tune to the awkwardness of apathy and the struggles of maintaining happiness in routine American life.
This is the first time I have ever read Kirk Jones but he obviously has skill as a storyteller. Die Empty flows very well and you are at the end before you know it. One mild criticism I have of the book is that the story is paced so perfect but the ending seems a little hectic and confusing. I still enjoyed the ending and noticed that the author himself says he has heard and understands similar criticism of the book. If you have time you should also check the self-review of the book Kirk Jones has on the book’s Goodreads page. It definitely adds some perspective to the story as I always find it interesting to hear about what a fiction author’s mindstate is when they are writing. Anyways, big fan of ATLATL Press, if you have read any of their other books then you should know the deal, this book will be right up your alley. If you enjoy books with a harsh bite to them then you will enjoy Die Empty, just don’t be offended if you are middle-aged and it hits too close to home.
This is the first time I have ever read Kirk Jones but he obviously has skill as a storyteller. Die Empty flows very well and you are at the end before you know it. One mild criticism I have of the book is that the story is paced so perfect but the ending seems a little hectic and confusing. I still enjoyed the ending and noticed that the author himself says he has heard and understands similar criticism of the book. If you have time you should also check the self-review of the book Kirk Jones has on the book’s Goodreads page. It definitely adds some perspective to the story as I always find it interesting to hear about what a fiction author’s mindstate is when they are writing. Anyways, big fan of ATLATL Press, if you have read any of their other books then you should know the deal, this book will be right up your alley. If you enjoy books with a harsh bite to them then you will enjoy Die Empty, just don’t be offended if you are middle-aged and it hits too close to home.
September 25, 2020
Lance is a middle-aged man stuck in a loveless marriage and a life with no meaning. His sedentary existence has packed on the weight, both physical and mental, and he envies his successful and fit neighbor who may be banging his alcoholic wife on the sly. The Grim Reaper shows up to recruit Lance into brainstorming new ways for people to die.
Kirk Jones tells the story in second person, thus forcing you to take on the role of Lance. In chapter one, Jones dumps you into Lance's life. Jones systematically tears down Lance's pitiful attempts to find meaning in a world of soulless consumerism. Lance knows that his life is pathetic, but he lacks the self-esteem—or even friends—to find a way out of it, so he trudges on, looking for something, anything, to jolt some life back into him.
Fortunately for the reader, the Grim Reaper shows up in chapter two to give Lance a way to escape what author Danger Slater perfectly describes as "suburban ennui." Seeing this as an opportunity to escape his misery, Lance accepts.
The pace picked up, and it seemed like the story was headed in a direction I was hoping it would go, but then it veered off into a different direction. While Jones does a fine job with second person storytelling, I could never connect with Lance. Jones would write that you (Lance) would do something and my reaction was always, "I wouldn't do that." All I could do was shake my head and hope that Jones would have the Grim Reaper show up because those were the best parts.
Kirk Jones tells the story in second person, thus forcing you to take on the role of Lance. In chapter one, Jones dumps you into Lance's life. Jones systematically tears down Lance's pitiful attempts to find meaning in a world of soulless consumerism. Lance knows that his life is pathetic, but he lacks the self-esteem—or even friends—to find a way out of it, so he trudges on, looking for something, anything, to jolt some life back into him.
Fortunately for the reader, the Grim Reaper shows up in chapter two to give Lance a way to escape what author Danger Slater perfectly describes as "suburban ennui." Seeing this as an opportunity to escape his misery, Lance accepts.
The pace picked up, and it seemed like the story was headed in a direction I was hoping it would go, but then it veered off into a different direction. While Jones does a fine job with second person storytelling, I could never connect with Lance. Jones would write that you (Lance) would do something and my reaction was always, "I wouldn't do that." All I could do was shake my head and hope that Jones would have the Grim Reaper show up because those were the best parts.
October 30, 2018
A difficult book to describe, but certainly worth the read particularly if looking for something abstract. How does one deal with getting older? Middle age is not all its cracked up to be apparently but then death walks in the door to make you a deal, to give you a purpose. But in the end, do you do what we all do and die empty? Oddly funny though in a rather sad way.
January 7, 2018
This is a totally different take on the mid life crisis novel. It surprised me frequently and I was never sure what to expect. Definitely an enjoyable read.
December 28, 2017
It takes you until the end of the first chapter to get used to the 2nd person narrative. You stick with it, despite the unfamiliarity. By the end of chapter three you are really enjoying the story and forget it's written in 2nd person. You keep reading and it keeps getting weirder and you love every bit of it. You think it's a great book and you highly recommend it.
September 6, 2018
This was one of my favorite reads of the year so far. Okay, I've only read 17 books this year (and most of them were music theory books), but still. This book is amazing.
It's a book about that quiet desperation Pink Floyd talks about, but here it's not just an English way, it's an Universal one. And I know Kirk is an American, but I can guarantee him that, at least here in Brazil, those feelings are very much real.
I'm not going over the plot of the book (thank you Christoph Paul for pointing out to me that people want to read opinions, not the back cover description, on reviews), I'm just going to say that the plot is very much an extension of the characters struggles with the eternal Void the protagonist feels about life in general. He's overweight, middle-aged, in a loveless marriage, with an useless job, and with superficial relationships with his friends. He is truly ready to die empty.
The great way is how the actual plot develops from the feelings and needs of the protagonist. It stretches out like tentacles from the mind of Lance, the sad sack whose words we are reading. When things start to move, we almost feel like every decision Lance makes is by flipping an invisible coin in his head and using it to make a move. This shows the complete removal of the character from any sort of meaningful existance, and it conveys his desperation perfectly.
Kirk Jones says that some people told him that they felt the ending was rushed. Weird, I thought the exact opposite, I thought it went on for longer than it could have. And the fact that it went longer than I expected to fits so perfectly with how I perceived the themes of this book. I think that, while reading this, I was also ready to die empty. More than that, I couldn't wait to.
It's a book about that quiet desperation Pink Floyd talks about, but here it's not just an English way, it's an Universal one. And I know Kirk is an American, but I can guarantee him that, at least here in Brazil, those feelings are very much real.
I'm not going over the plot of the book (thank you Christoph Paul for pointing out to me that people want to read opinions, not the back cover description, on reviews), I'm just going to say that the plot is very much an extension of the characters struggles with the eternal Void the protagonist feels about life in general. He's overweight, middle-aged, in a loveless marriage, with an useless job, and with superficial relationships with his friends. He is truly ready to die empty.
The great way is how the actual plot develops from the feelings and needs of the protagonist. It stretches out like tentacles from the mind of Lance, the sad sack whose words we are reading. When things start to move, we almost feel like every decision Lance makes is by flipping an invisible coin in his head and using it to make a move. This shows the complete removal of the character from any sort of meaningful existance, and it conveys his desperation perfectly.
Kirk Jones says that some people told him that they felt the ending was rushed. Weird, I thought the exact opposite, I thought it went on for longer than it could have. And the fact that it went longer than I expected to fits so perfectly with how I perceived the themes of this book. I think that, while reading this, I was also ready to die empty. More than that, I couldn't wait to.
March 22, 2018
Lance, wallowing in the tedium of a mundane middle-class suburban life, is both internally screaming of desperation and drowning in the wearisome apathy brought about by years of disappointment. Striking a deal with Death seems a viable mid-life diversion.
An apropos depiction of contemporary middle-class despondency and the seemingly inescapable quagmire of an ill-fated existence. It is decidedly logical that Death would exploit the vice of consumerism and the need for convenience to both hasten our demise and make us complicit in it.
DIE EMPTY is a dark, acerbic tale that is hilarious, thought provoking, and disturbingly relatable all at once.
An apropos depiction of contemporary middle-class despondency and the seemingly inescapable quagmire of an ill-fated existence. It is decidedly logical that Death would exploit the vice of consumerism and the need for convenience to both hasten our demise and make us complicit in it.
DIE EMPTY is a dark, acerbic tale that is hilarious, thought provoking, and disturbingly relatable all at once.
February 25, 2019
Why make a deal with the devil to add years to a life that's miserable? A book that captures midlife malaise and manages to keep it entertaining.
Read
March 23, 2018Full disclosure: I am the author's wife. Hang on and let me top off this glass of Bombay Sapphire before I get into this. Kidding. Maybe.
Jen is one of the nastiest wives I've encountered in a novel. I hated her until one of the big reveals, then felt some sympathy. I changed my mind about Lance several times too. I love it when a cast of characters can surprise me, and in my biased opinion, the fluidity of the characters is one of Die Empty's best qualities.
I read Die Empty for the first time shortly after its publication. Usually, I've read an earlier draft of Kirk's novels, but this time my first read was the final draft. Well done, hubby, readers, and publisher! I love the cover art.
I wish that I had reviewed earlier, while the novel was still fresh in my mind. I had some favorite quotes I wanted to share, but instead I'm offering what stuck with me--the lasting impressions.
My favorite characters were Meat and Gerald. I needed the comic relief. I spent so much time cringing at Lance's misadventures, disillusionment, and nun porn shame. I identified with some of his 80s nostalgia and love/hate relationship with materialism. That was kind of painful, in good way.
Die Empty was fast paced, but I also skipped back, trying to crack the codes, evoking Nancy Drew nostalgia. Some real life details creep into the novel. Our Toyota, btw, died this past week.
I'm very proud of Kirk for Die Empty. The kindle version is free for a few days, so pick up a copy and read it!
Jen is one of the nastiest wives I've encountered in a novel. I hated her until one of the big reveals, then felt some sympathy. I changed my mind about Lance several times too. I love it when a cast of characters can surprise me, and in my biased opinion, the fluidity of the characters is one of Die Empty's best qualities.
I read Die Empty for the first time shortly after its publication. Usually, I've read an earlier draft of Kirk's novels, but this time my first read was the final draft. Well done, hubby, readers, and publisher! I love the cover art.
I wish that I had reviewed earlier, while the novel was still fresh in my mind. I had some favorite quotes I wanted to share, but instead I'm offering what stuck with me--the lasting impressions.
My favorite characters were Meat and Gerald. I needed the comic relief. I spent so much time cringing at Lance's misadventures, disillusionment, and nun porn shame. I identified with some of his 80s nostalgia and love/hate relationship with materialism. That was kind of painful, in good way.
Die Empty was fast paced, but I also skipped back, trying to crack the codes, evoking Nancy Drew nostalgia. Some real life details creep into the novel. Our Toyota, btw, died this past week.
I'm very proud of Kirk for Die Empty. The kindle version is free for a few days, so pick up a copy and read it!
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