The Healthy Mind Toolkit: Simple Strategies to Get Out of Your Own Way and Enjoy Your Life

by Alice Boyes

An empowering guide to overcoming self-defeating behaviors
 
I can’t believe I just did that!
Why does this always happen to me?
I really should stop myself from . . .

Sound familiar? Whether we’re aware of it or not, most of us are guilty of self-sabotage. These behaviors can manifest in seemingly innocuous ways, but if left unchecked can create stress and cause problems in all areas of your life.

In The Healthy Mind Toolkit, Dr. Alice Boyes provides easy, practical solutions that will help you identify how you’re holding yourself back and how to reverse your self-sabotaging behaviors. Blending scientific research with techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy, this engaging book will take you through the steps to address this overarching problem, including how to:

   • Identify the specific ways you're hurting your success in all aspects of your life
   • Capitalize on the positive aspects of your extreme traits instead of the negatives
   • Find creative solutions to curb your self-defeating patterns
   • Practice self-care as a problem-solving strategy

Filled with quizzes and insightful exercises to personalize your journey from harmful behaviors to healthy habits, The Healthy Mind Toolkit is the essential guide to get out of your own way and get on the path to success.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Health, Personal Development, Personal Growth

304 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2018

Reviews

[Ritu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! It provides a framework for identifying patterns that can keep us spinning our wheels and provides concrete ways in which we can start doing things differently. For example: It has a chapter on Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination and Avoidance in which the author gives 21 strategies for overcoming procrastination. She covers the breadth of reasons why we might be procrastinating and points out solutions. One reason could be a self-inflicted rule we've created that's causing avoidance. (She gives the example of avoiding starting your Christmas baking because you have a self-imposed rule/belief that says you HAVE to bake 3 types of cookies for Christmas. But who says, she asks, that Christmas specifically requires 3 varieties and not 1, 2 or 4? Can we simplify our expectations? Maybe, one type of cookie is okay.) Another reason and solution she points out in this chapter has to do with "Determining if you're avoiding as a Way of rebelling." Overall, I felt this book mapped out a large number of ways in which we can hold ourselves back. This is not an in-depth book for 1 subject, such as depression or anxiety, but rather something that will help you live your day-to-day life better and think about how you approach and think about different areas of your life.

[Jens Rinnelt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a strange relationship with this book.
First of all it took me almost a year to finish and then I am torn between finding the content helpful versus being repelled by it.

On the upper side the tools provided by the author are based on scientific research and the author seems to be knowing her field. All the methods provided make rationally sense, although for me personally there have only be a few new ones. The given structure of the chapters invite for personal reflection. It seems that on a logical level the foundation for a decent book is in place.

And yet, I find it difficult to relate to some of the tools or the examples provided. It might be my intuition that says not all patterns can be logically problem-solved (read with the same level of consciousness that created them). It feels to me that the author 'knows' the tools scientifically, but I am missing some relatable and authentic depthness, for example from her personal experience and interpretation.

Nevertheless, perhaps it says more about me and my expectations than the quality of the book itself, as it is focusing on tools for creating a healthy rationale mind.

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 2 out of 5]

When such guidebooks/self-help/personal growth books are explained too much on every damn page like we cannot get what you are trying to say, it kills all the fun and attention.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Provides a fresh perspective, helpful reframing, and new approaches to think about for anyone who may get in their own way, self-sabotage, and/or is generally looking to make some kind of change in their life. I found the suggestions provided to be very practical and went bananas highlighting all of the little gems throughout the book. This is definitely a book that I will want to read again, cover to cover, in another 6-12 months (as the author recommends).

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best enjoyed with a side of taking notes. There are a lot of strategies in this book for reducing self sabotaging behaviors in different aspects of your life: general self regulation, organization, relationships, work, and money. I like that the author includes many examples and possible solutions and recognizes that everyone has to find what works best for them as an individual. You don't need to complete every exercise completely for the book to be useful to you, and the author encourages the reader to do as many experiments and thought exercises that they have energy for, but to not sweat it if they don't do them all or take their own approach. I think everyone could learn something from this book.

[Mikee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a nice book with actionable tips! It may get overwhelming if you try to read it in one sitting, I would suggest to take pauses, reflect, and try the tips to see what works for you before proceeding to the next section.

I'm really glad I went back to reading this (it got buried on my book pile for a while haha)

[Amal Hamdy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh! Nothing new despite it’s a 2018 book ! Provides basic techniques and sometimes naive ideas.

[Amelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alice Boyes reminds me of my therapist. It makes sense, given Boyes' background in psychology. Her book and toolkit offers a plethora of optimism as well as ways to manage one's thinking. Discussing personal thoughts, relationships, work, and money, she explains why we might think the way we do, how to think differently, and asks questions that reinforce what we've been reading.

For me, the most helpful tool was the division between "valid vs helpful" thinking. Instead of thinking shoulds and coulds and whether something is valid, ask instead whether a certain thought is helpful. Is it valid to worry about one's relationship? Perhaps. But is it helpful? If not, you may want to do something to try to circumvent those worries.

Overall, this was a pleasant read and one that I may return to from time to time.

[Mintaute · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faina ir lengvai skaitoma knyga, pilna daug praktinių patarimų ir idėjų, kurias lengva integruoti ar išbandyti savo gyvenime. Tiks ir tiems, kurie nori iš esmės peržiūrėti savo gyvenimo praktikas, laiko planavimą, santykį su savimi ir kitais žmonėmis, darbo rutinas - iš principo visas savo gyvenimo sritis. Patiko, kad knyga labai pritaikoma ir yra parašyta keliais lygmenimis - gali iš esmės viską reformuoti, arba pasitiuninti tik niuansus, kurie ilgai nedavė ramybės. Iš principo - puikus resursas visiems, kurie rūpinasi savo psichine sveikata arba nori tai daryti, bet net neįsivaizduoja nuo ko prardėti. Vietomis gal pernelyg supaprastinama, bet šiaip fainas ir naudingas skaitinys. Išsinešiau daug gerų minčių ir idėjų.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t normally recommend these types of books, but I love this book. It is not ground-breaking, but it is an amazing reminder book. Pull it out every once in a while and read through it to remind you how to tackle certain things, to be compassionate to yourself and others, and how to address bad habits. Maybe you are perfect, I am not. I found this a fantastic resource. Tiny, baby steps and simple solutions, but that is what works for me. Highly recommend for perfectionists and self-saboteurs.

[Gemini · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes we're our own worst enemy. It's hard to break the cycle. My former therapist used to say it's hard wiring. I guess you get out what you put in. There are so many different takes on how you perceive this book. There are definitely parts that make you go, oh duh, holy light bulb, why didn't I realize that before. Or the fact there are some takeaways that you can then use to improve your mindset. So yeah there are definitely thing you can use to make you think about things differently but it also has to stick w/ you so you can actually make it happen.

[Jennifer W · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to get through this but something about how it is laid out just is not appealing. The chapters tackle too much in terms of examples followed by sections of and think of this, and also that.

Making the overall thought more succinct so that it fits in 2 chapters, then having a really long chapter or bunch of small chapters of a common sabotage situations and how to think/deal with it, ending with and keep in mind things would have made it more consumable.

[Karenclifford61 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good ideas as related to self-sabotaging efforts...especially as related to emotions, relationships and money. As she mentions in her final chapter, a weekly self-check-in might help one consider how they could've acted differently and anticipate insight and strategies for the upcoming week, along with re-reading the book in 6-12 months for a different perspective. I took lots of notes on practical advice, and now the hardest part occurs... IMPLEMENTATION!!!!

[Whitney · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the subject matter this was interesting especially with the romantic relationships and work sections. Helpful.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice Boyes works are worth their weight in gold. Clear, practical advice without padding.

[Sandy Pace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just like her first book, this book is also really informative and therapeutic. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in realistic tips for improving their treatment and life in general.

[Anett Rolikova · Rating 3 out of 5]

You're responsible for your own life. You must change your behavior if you want to change your life. Know your patterns and study them.

[Eliezer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked most of the self evaluation part, not really much the remaining... But still a good book.

[Dawn Bond · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. One one hand I enjoyed the part about relationships and avoidant that resonated.

I also liked the tables in the pleasure and self care section.

My review is lower because between the gems and solid research some of the narrative felt too personal to the author. Almost like a wannabe life coach creating a post on Facebook. I think the author has more to give from a position of authoritative research and her psychology background.
My other star deducted was for the writing style on places. There were a few phrases and expressions that probably mean more in American than they do in my culture. How to appeal more broadly? It felt like the author was switching between being a mum at the school gate having a chat and a professional. (that was the sense I got)

I think the author could develop her writing capability and produce better work as a result.

This is of course my view. If you like the more conversational style of writing you may well enjoy it. Certainly some useful techniques.

[Reza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Practical easy-to-implement mini-tips. That's all. Does not get deep. May come back to it later. Highlighted some tips. Made a few adjustments while reading and am happy about it. Thank you Mrs. Boyes.

[April · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was difficult for me to follow. If you are of a methodical, clinical bent, then this book might be more your style. I couldn’t get engaged in the exercises which seemed overly complicated.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those who follow me, you know my love of everything Self-Help. If I were to recommend 1 book to someone new to self-help, this is the one. Super simple and logical tips to address all areas of your life from relationships to money. I will probably read this yearly in Jan.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Packed with stuff - a book to be dipped into regularly for good advice!

[Alison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I mostly skimmed this for sections relevant to me. I think it would be good for someone willing to put in the time to do all the experiments

[MLB · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF; It just didn’t grab me by the 50th page so I put it down.

[Tyler]

DNF - 25% Didn't like this book, wasn't for me.

[Anshu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Headway

[Amanda]

Should be reread within 6 months to a year down the road after you've started using the techniques in the book. You may find that you've made progress and need to work on something else.