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Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind
Publishers Weekly : [A] useful parenting primer . . . Readers who are in the process of readying their children to launch into adulthood will find Yoder's text to be a helpful companion.
Your kids are spreading their wings. Are you ready? In Fledge, counselor, educator, and mother Brenda L. Yoder helps Christian parents navigate the many transitions of the launching years. How do you parent tweens at home and young adults away from home at the same time? What's a good balance between boundaries and freedom? How can you pray for your fledgling youth? And what do you do with all that mom grief? Your job as a parent isn't over; it's just changing. Equip yourself with biblical wisdom for this season of transition in your family life. Learn the patterns to avoid and the habits to pursue. Launching your children can be scary, and some days it might make you crazy. But you've been raising them to do just this. Fledge will help you release your children into the future that God has planned for them.
Your kids are spreading their wings. Are you ready? In Fledge, counselor, educator, and mother Brenda L. Yoder helps Christian parents navigate the many transitions of the launching years. How do you parent tweens at home and young adults away from home at the same time? What's a good balance between boundaries and freedom? How can you pray for your fledgling youth? And what do you do with all that mom grief? Your job as a parent isn't over; it's just changing. Equip yourself with biblical wisdom for this season of transition in your family life. Learn the patterns to avoid and the habits to pursue. Launching your children can be scary, and some days it might make you crazy. But you've been raising them to do just this. Fledge will help you release your children into the future that God has planned for them.
240 pages, Paperback
First published February 16, 2018
29 people are currently reading
182 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
January 24, 2018
I’m so grateful Brenda Yoder has taken on the topic of what it’s like as your amazing kiddos start leaving the nest in her latest book, Fledge. I know, it’s what we’ve been preparing them for all along, but when it happens, it still hits you like a Mack truck. My oldest went off to college this year, and with her, a piece of my heart. This is the right thing for her, where God wants her to be, the only way she will grow and thrive, but man, I miss her like crazy. I’m not alone. My husband also misses her. And so do her siblings. We’re all affected. And it changes the chore rotations and the things I buy at the grocery. There’s an empty seat at the table that remains vacant. There are fewer soccer games to attend, but also one less driver in the house. The whole family dynamic shifts. And when she comes home for the weekend or Christmas break, it shifts back, but not exactly how it was before. And I know it’s just the start. I also have a sixteen-year old, a fourteen year-old, and an eleven year-old, all maturing and evolving more and more into the incredible people God intended them to be each and every day.
In Fledge, Brenda addresses all of this; family dynamics, relationships, shifts. Fledge reassures parents that they’re not alone. That this is how it feels. That as our kids grow life does change, but it can change in beautiful amazing ways when we trust in God and His plans, when we rely on Him for guidance and wisdom. Since Brenda Yoder is a counselor, she pulls not only on personal experiences from releasing her own nest full of kids, but also from her professional experience. I highly recommend Fledge to any parent who is in the releasing stage.
In Fledge, Brenda addresses all of this; family dynamics, relationships, shifts. Fledge reassures parents that they’re not alone. That this is how it feels. That as our kids grow life does change, but it can change in beautiful amazing ways when we trust in God and His plans, when we rely on Him for guidance and wisdom. Since Brenda Yoder is a counselor, she pulls not only on personal experiences from releasing her own nest full of kids, but also from her professional experience. I highly recommend Fledge to any parent who is in the releasing stage.
February 20, 2019
This was excellent for my stage of life. Thank you for your wisdom and hope.
January 11, 2018
I spend a lot of time thinking about how to prepare my kids (and myself) for their adulthood. Fledge is a book that gives specific, biblical advice for how to handle these launching years well. I will be recommending it to my many, many friends who are in the same place in life as we are!
January 5, 2018
I love Yoder's authenticity in this book, her willingness to share of her own experience. All while I read it, I kept thinking about how this felt like meeting up with a good friend for a cup of coffee to talk about the struggles, the joys, and the realities of raising our kids and watching them grow into their own.
February 24, 2018
This book has been very timely for me, not as a Fledging mom but as the parent of a teenager! The building up and letting go sections at the end of each chapter are helpful in self-evaluating how I'm doing as a parent and guiding me toward how I can improve. I recommend this book for any parent, at any stage of parenting.
February 15, 2018
I don't want to face the fact that my teenagers will soon leave the home. I was sure I'd be sad when reading this book, but instead of sadness, I was filled with hope. Instead of burying my head in the sand, I am going to seek wisdom and follow Yoder's advice and soak up her encouragement. She is a mom with experience but I never felt like she was preaching from a high place. I loved the stories of her family woven throughout the pages.
March 5, 2018
Our children are all grown, but in some ways, we're still "fledging" them, even as adults. Brenda Yoder's wise counsel applies to parents in all stages of parenting, and to grandparents, as well. Her suggestions for things such as building family ties, family expectations, finding balance, offering affirmation, letting go -- all of these topics helped me see what we did right, and acknowledge that where we fell short, God was filling the gaps. Especially helpful for me in this season are the chapters on self-care as we grieve the "loss" of our children. When the day comes that my sons and their wives have children of their own, I'll give them the gift of Fledge, along with my prayers.
February 25, 2018
Brenda Yoder's previous work has been focused on helping the overtired and overcommitted mother focus in on what truly matters during the intense parenting stage of life. This book continues that trend but deals with parenting strategy for launching young adult children, with practical how-tos as well as how-tos for the heart. After all, for most mothers who have put their own lives on hold to raise their children, parenting at the stage where one is letting go is a major issue for one's own identity. It can cause a kick-back effect where parents cling tighter to their teenage children instead of teaching them how to leave.
Although I am parenting middle-schoolers, this book spoke much more to me than I had thought it would. The difficulty of parenting, I feel, is that I am raising children so that they will not be dependent on me. The goal I have in mind is that they will not need me. If you too are raising your children with that goal in mind, and you are in the final stage of parenting teens, this book will be useful for you.
One can argue that children will always need the parent-- the needs are communicated in different ways. While that is true, the concept holds true: that other people will meet the needs that the parent/child relationship once solely supplied. That is right to do when you want to raise functional adults. Letting go, and doing it well, is not easy. It is made easier with a parent mentor. If you are searching for one, Brenda fills those shoes with the dual voices of reason and wisdom.
To find out more about Brenda's writing life and ministry, check out her website at https://brendayoder.com/. Many readers get to know Brenda's work through her blog, which you can access through her website as well. Called "Life Beyond the Picket Fence," it deals with parenting subjects like this one but many more.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am on Brenda's book review team and read a preview copy of Fledge. However, as someone who knows her ministry well and have benefitted from it personally, I would eventually buy the book regardless.
Although I am parenting middle-schoolers, this book spoke much more to me than I had thought it would. The difficulty of parenting, I feel, is that I am raising children so that they will not be dependent on me. The goal I have in mind is that they will not need me. If you too are raising your children with that goal in mind, and you are in the final stage of parenting teens, this book will be useful for you.
One can argue that children will always need the parent-- the needs are communicated in different ways. While that is true, the concept holds true: that other people will meet the needs that the parent/child relationship once solely supplied. That is right to do when you want to raise functional adults. Letting go, and doing it well, is not easy. It is made easier with a parent mentor. If you are searching for one, Brenda fills those shoes with the dual voices of reason and wisdom.
To find out more about Brenda's writing life and ministry, check out her website at https://brendayoder.com/. Many readers get to know Brenda's work through her blog, which you can access through her website as well. Called "Life Beyond the Picket Fence," it deals with parenting subjects like this one but many more.
In the interest of full disclosure, I am on Brenda's book review team and read a preview copy of Fledge. However, as someone who knows her ministry well and have benefitted from it personally, I would eventually buy the book regardless.
February 22, 2018
Encouraging words that speak life to my soul
The words of Brenda Yoder’s Fledge were full of encouragement for this mom who just sent her (only) child off to full-day kindergarten. Brenda writes in such a way that it felt like the words were reaching off the pages and wrapping me in a tight hug. I love that each chapter ends with a small prayer and questions for personal reflection or group discussion, and I appreciate that it is clearly written from a biblical perspective, as that is the lens through which I want to view life.
Before I started reading the book, I wondered if it would be applicable to a parent of such a young child nowhere near leaving the nest. Gratefully, I found it perfect for me, and I think it would be a perfect guide for every parent – with older or young children. I felt like it was preparing me for future seasons of parenting. I appreciated that it recognizes the reality of loss and grief in releasing our children, but that it also gives hope and encouragement for the grieving process.
The words of Brenda Yoder’s Fledge were full of encouragement for this mom who just sent her (only) child off to full-day kindergarten. Brenda writes in such a way that it felt like the words were reaching off the pages and wrapping me in a tight hug. I love that each chapter ends with a small prayer and questions for personal reflection or group discussion, and I appreciate that it is clearly written from a biblical perspective, as that is the lens through which I want to view life.
Before I started reading the book, I wondered if it would be applicable to a parent of such a young child nowhere near leaving the nest. Gratefully, I found it perfect for me, and I think it would be a perfect guide for every parent – with older or young children. I felt like it was preparing me for future seasons of parenting. I appreciated that it recognizes the reality of loss and grief in releasing our children, but that it also gives hope and encouragement for the grieving process.
April 21, 2018
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.
"To fledge" has a double meaning. First of all it speaks of baby birds who are growing wings and about to fly. Secondly, it speaks of fledging an arrow. "To fledge an arrow means to put feathers on it to prepare it to fly toward a mark." Author Brenda Yoder does a wonderful job in this book of explaining the trials and heartaches of nudging our children out of the home nest as well as how to equip them to fly toward the mark that God has for them.
She writes from her own heartbreak and wisdom. She shares her mistakes as well as her successes. Personally, as the mom of a 15 year old, I can emphathize with many of the author's experiences as well as taking to heart wisdom for the future years. This book will certainly be a "go to" book in the future as I personally fledge my own child from the nest.
"To fledge" has a double meaning. First of all it speaks of baby birds who are growing wings and about to fly. Secondly, it speaks of fledging an arrow. "To fledge an arrow means to put feathers on it to prepare it to fly toward a mark." Author Brenda Yoder does a wonderful job in this book of explaining the trials and heartaches of nudging our children out of the home nest as well as how to equip them to fly toward the mark that God has for them.
She writes from her own heartbreak and wisdom. She shares her mistakes as well as her successes. Personally, as the mom of a 15 year old, I can emphathize with many of the author's experiences as well as taking to heart wisdom for the future years. This book will certainly be a "go to" book in the future as I personally fledge my own child from the nest.
February 25, 2018
My kids are a few years off from leaving the nest (they are still in middle school), but that is all the more reason why I need read this book. It reminds me that preparing my children for their future starts at the very beginning of their lives. It's so helpful to have Brenda's wisdom so I know what I can do now, instead of trying to cram it all the year before they leave. I love how she authentically shares her own stories (successes and shortcomings) because it reminds me that there is no such thing as parenting perfection. And there is always so much grace. So no matter how old your kids are now, it's good to be thinking about how the situations they are in presently can be prep work for when they no longer live under our roofs. And good for us to be reminded that, at some point, we will have to let them go.
February 16, 2018
I forgot how much this book speaks to my heart or maybe now nearly a year later( I read the proof copy) with my first born getting ready to try her wings, I'm admitting to the "mom grief" or at least learning to leaning into it more. I'm reminded that it's ok to have every emotion under the sun, as long as we don't get stuck there. So much hope, adventure and beauty lies ahead for our children...we just have to learn to trust that God is there waiting for them with His arms open wide and trust that we have done our job with aiming them towards His plan for them.
For now, I will wipe my tears and get back to the task at hand... laying new floor...Cause someone has a graduation party looming in the near future!!😊
Blessings to you and thank you for the blessing of this book.
For now, I will wipe my tears and get back to the task at hand... laying new floor...Cause someone has a graduation party looming in the near future!!😊
Blessings to you and thank you for the blessing of this book.
March 14, 2018
I knew in the first few paragraphs that I was in good hands. You know those other parenting books--the ones that give you "five steps" to being a better parent, the ones that give you more lists of things to accomplish--that can raise your anxiety that you are not, and can never be enough? That leave you feeling more alone?
This in not that book. Yoder is a true guide and mentor. She's lived her own experiences parenting--she's been there--she gives language to the grief and mom guilt that are all too common--and yet, points you to the light--the hard earned true light and joy that go side by side with the pain and struggle.
And she holds your hand like a true friend the whole time.
Heartfelt book for parents in all stages of the journey.
This in not that book. Yoder is a true guide and mentor. She's lived her own experiences parenting--she's been there--she gives language to the grief and mom guilt that are all too common--and yet, points you to the light--the hard earned true light and joy that go side by side with the pain and struggle.
And she holds your hand like a true friend the whole time.
Heartfelt book for parents in all stages of the journey.
November 16, 2024
We went through this book as a Sunday School class of parents who are at this stage of life, and, boy, was it practical and timely. I can't say enough about how beneficial and encouraging the book was to me personally and how much we were able to discuss as a group ways to put into practice what the author spoke about concerning the parent/child relationship. I am truly thankful this book came into my life when it did as I am in the midst of fledging adult children, raising teens and preteens, and caring for my parents all at the same time. God is so good to meet us where we are and encourage us in just the right way.
February 2, 2018
I couldn't wait to read this book. As a mom to both a high school and an elementary student, I often find myself caught between memories and not wanting to miss the now moments. Brenda beautifully captures the mix of heartache and joy mothers experience as children grow and leave the nest. Her biblical encouragement and counseling background enable her to reach your heart exactly where you're at, and remind you everything will be all right. Perfect for self-study or small groups, this book touched my heart. Highly recommended.
May 8, 2018
As a mom of two kids 7yrs and 9yrs, I’m not in the fledging season yet. I think it holds optimal value for vision-casting just before fledging. I'd recommend this book to parents of pre-teens or teens. I appreciated the scriptural emphasis and personal anecdotes. Two of the helpful points I gleaned: 1) Our kids belong to God first, and He remains in control as we prepare to launch them on their own. 2) Prioritize nurturing my marriage because, Lord willing, when the kids are fledged, the marriage is what remains. I’m looking forward to revisiting this book in the coming years!
March 12, 2018
An excellent resource for parents of tweens, teens, and young adult children. Yoder is a qualified and trusted guide who understands the struggle that accompanies launching your children from the nest. She offers practical, empathetic, and sage advice on navigating these parenting years with grace and strength. With a strong biblical foundation, memorable examples, guided prayers, and reflection questions, you will be equipped to make important shifts in your home as you prepare your children for adulthood.
*I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
*I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
March 13, 2018
Brenda Yoder does an amazing job of helping moms who are experience the "mom grief" of fledging their children to not feel alone. She is right there with us in the trenches. She has been there and has some very insightful and Biblically based thoughts and ideas to not just help us through - keep us from losing our mind - but to also help us grow as moms, individuals, and become even closer to God in the process. This was the book I desperately needed, but didn't have. It far surpassed by expectations!
June 21, 2021
I have been reading this book in short bursts, because nearly every chapter makes me cry. My firstborn will be a senior in high school next year, and I’m slowing grieving this loss while celebrating his victories. I love the honesty in this book – I know it’s written by a mom who really understands what I’m going through. She affirms my feelings and gives me ideas I hadn’t considered before, which is very helpful. I need to buy a few more boxes of Kleenex to finish this book.
I received a preview copy of this book from the author.
I received a preview copy of this book from the author.
February 15, 2018
I wish I had found a book like this while we were raising and releasing our sons. Nothing prepares you for the fear, loss and grief parents can feel as their offspring begin leaving the nest. Even if you feel they are prepared, are you? Brenda’s vulnerable yet practical book is as much about self-care during the fledging process as it is about helping our kids develop strong feathers. I want all the mothers (and fathers) in my life to read this book — sooner rather than later.
October 25, 2018
The parenting manual you never had. Solid and encouraging advice from someone who's been there. I like this book because it acknowledges real parenting with real kids. Though it is faith based (which I appreciate), it doesn't tout perfect christian parents with perfect christian kids. Thank you for this book Brenda -- It was an encouragement to me that I'm navigating this messy transition with wisdom ... so far.
March 27, 2020
Awesome book about navigating the crazy mixed feelings of seeing each of your kids "Fly the nest" and how your job as a parent still is not over. How to overcome the feelings, emotions left when you are an empty nester but how life continues but changes as they (and you) grow older.
Raising kids and letting them go is not for the faint of heart.
Chosen as a bible study discussion book. Great advice and time for introspection and thought.
Raising kids and letting them go is not for the faint of heart.
Chosen as a bible study discussion book. Great advice and time for introspection and thought.
January 25, 2024
If you are looking for a book just about how to handle your child leaving than this is more like 2.5*s. It does not focus on that until about chapter 15. The first part of the book talks about having kids at different ages, boundaries, and family life. If you need those subjects as well then it goes to 4*s. There is a lot of great info in this book. For me it was a 3 but I cannot take away from the overall value.
February 14, 2018
Brenda's wisdom has been a comfort to me as we are currently in the phase of launching two children and a third shortly behind. I have enjoyed jumping ahead to a few chapters and soaking in the word and guidance. Then back towards the beginning to read every word. This book will be a staple on my shelf for the years to come and I can't wait to share copies with friends.
March 11, 2018
Excellent book, just when I needed it most. With two kids only a few years from leaving the nest, I could relate to Yoder's experiences and I really appreciate her advice, her thoughtfulness, and her authenticity. More books need to be written about this stage of life, which--in my experience--has been the most difficult as a parent.
March 13, 2018
With honesty and wisdom, Brenda Yoder addresses every aspect of getting kids ready to launch into the world. Reading Fledge is more like sitting down with Brenda over a cup of coffee. She pours out her heart, and touches mine with insights and practical advice. This would make a perfect gift for Mother's Day or any day in the life of a mom with teens.
July 12, 2018
As a professional counselor, I’ve read a lot of parenting books and this is one of the best I’ve ever read. From a faith based perspective, I learned a lot about the type of parenting approach I want to have with my kids as they age so that I can truly empower them to launch well. The book has practical tips as well as biblical wisdom included.
February 20, 2018
I have a few years before my oldest leaves the home, but I see her spreading her wings and I want to launch her well. Yoder shares such wisdom and meets me where I’m at. Every mom needs to read this book.
April 9, 2019
This book came at a season that I absolutely needed it! I was feeling quite overwhelmed with 2 in college and my youngest just getting her driver's license. This book gave me the assurance I needed to walk through this transition stage preceding the empty nest years.
May 17, 2019
This was one of my Favorite group book that I have read. This book is for parents of kids of all ages not just high school kids that are getting ready to leave for college. Beautifully written, this book spoke to my heart!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews