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I'm Not Missing
From award-winning poet Carrie Fountain comes a debut audiobook set in Las Cruces, New Mexico, about a half-Latina girl stepping outside of the shadow of her best friend.
It’s senior year, and Miranda Black’s best friend, Syd, has run away—suddenly and inexplicably, leaving behind nothing but a pink leopard print cell phone with a text message from the mysterious HIM. Everyone wants to know why Syd left, but the truth is, Miranda has no idea. When Miranda’s mother abandoned her as a child, Miranda had found shelter in her friendship with Syd, who wore her own motherlessness like a badge of honor. Now Miranda’s been left behind again, left to untangle the questions of why Syd left, where she is—and if she’s even a friend worth saving, all while stumbling into first love with the most unlikely boy in school. How do you take on the future when it feels like so much of your past wasn’t even real?
It’s senior year, and Miranda Black’s best friend, Syd, has run away—suddenly and inexplicably, leaving behind nothing but a pink leopard print cell phone with a text message from the mysterious HIM. Everyone wants to know why Syd left, but the truth is, Miranda has no idea. When Miranda’s mother abandoned her as a child, Miranda had found shelter in her friendship with Syd, who wore her own motherlessness like a badge of honor. Now Miranda’s been left behind again, left to untangle the questions of why Syd left, where she is—and if she’s even a friend worth saving, all while stumbling into first love with the most unlikely boy in school. How do you take on the future when it feels like so much of your past wasn’t even real?
Audio CD
First published July 10, 2018
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About the author
Carrie Fountain
11 books83 followersBorn and raised in Mesilla, New Mexico, Carrie Fountain’s debut collection of poems, Burn Lake, was a National Poetry Series winner and was published in 2010 by Penguin. Penguin published her second collection, Instant Winner, in 2014. Her poems have appeared in Tin House, Poetry, and The New Yorker, among others.
A former fellow at the James A. Michener Center for Writers at the University of Texas, Fountain is writer-in-residence at St. Edward’s University in Austin, where she lives with her husband, playwright and novelist Kirk Lynn, and their two children.
Her first novel, I’m Not Missing, will be published in July of 2018 by Flatiron Books.
A former fellow at the James A. Michener Center for Writers at the University of Texas, Fountain is writer-in-residence at St. Edward’s University in Austin, where she lives with her husband, playwright and novelist Kirk Lynn, and their two children.
Her first novel, I’m Not Missing, will be published in July of 2018 by Flatiron Books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 229 reviews
December 29, 2018
I’m gone, I’m not missing.
This was a compelling story about Miranda’s search for her best friend and in doing so finding herself... A heartwarming and heartbreaking story full of friendship, family, and love....We really had a comprehensive look at love in this book, familial love, platonic love, romantic love, and first love... A beautiful romance wrapped up in a mystery with the perfect drizzling of family on top!
Miranda and Sid are BFFs a friendship built on the fact that they both have lost their mothers, not to death, but from abandonment... Sid’s light shines bright and Miranda is always a bit in the shadows.... but then Sid goes missing with no explanation, and now Miranda needs to find her own light... The friendship between these two girls was complicated, and it was not always clear to me why Miranda was so loyal... Miranda was just so sweet and likable, and Sid seem so self absorbed.... I liked the mystery that this added to the story and I liked how this forced Miranda to become her own person! But she never stop looking for her best friend!
There is also the sweetest love story in this book between Miranda and Nick, nothing like first love! I loved how tender and true this relationship was... they were so able to communicate with one another and the development of the relationship was perfectly paced.... but perhaps the sweetest love of all in the story was that of Miranda and her father, I really appreciated how strong the father daughter bond was in this book...
A beautifully told young adult book that will appeal to people of all ages, absolutely recommend!
*** many thanks to Flatiron Books for my copy of this book *** ***
This was a compelling story about Miranda’s search for her best friend and in doing so finding herself... A heartwarming and heartbreaking story full of friendship, family, and love....We really had a comprehensive look at love in this book, familial love, platonic love, romantic love, and first love... A beautiful romance wrapped up in a mystery with the perfect drizzling of family on top!
Miranda and Sid are BFFs a friendship built on the fact that they both have lost their mothers, not to death, but from abandonment... Sid’s light shines bright and Miranda is always a bit in the shadows.... but then Sid goes missing with no explanation, and now Miranda needs to find her own light... The friendship between these two girls was complicated, and it was not always clear to me why Miranda was so loyal... Miranda was just so sweet and likable, and Sid seem so self absorbed.... I liked the mystery that this added to the story and I liked how this forced Miranda to become her own person! But she never stop looking for her best friend!
There is also the sweetest love story in this book between Miranda and Nick, nothing like first love! I loved how tender and true this relationship was... they were so able to communicate with one another and the development of the relationship was perfectly paced.... but perhaps the sweetest love of all in the story was that of Miranda and her father, I really appreciated how strong the father daughter bond was in this book...
A beautifully told young adult book that will appeal to people of all ages, absolutely recommend!
*** many thanks to Flatiron Books for my copy of this book *** ***
February 27, 2018
Oh my god. OH. MY. GOD. I am so deeply in love with this book. I'll have a full review closer to pub date but this is the PERFECT book for anyone who has had their heart broken by a best friend or fell (embarrassingly) in love with their crush. I am in awe.
October 26, 2023
5 Stars!
(Read: 9/18/22)
What a fantastic YA novel. I loved it. The familial elements were fun and well depicted and the romance was swoony. All of the characters were well represented. I love it when I unexpectedly come across a gem.
(Read: 9/18/22)
What a fantastic YA novel. I loved it. The familial elements were fun and well depicted and the romance was swoony. All of the characters were well represented. I love it when I unexpectedly come across a gem.
September 25, 2021
3.5 - This felt like a very unique YA contemporary. It’s part mystery because Miranda’s best friend Syd runs away near the beginning of the book and Miranda wants to know where she is and what made her leave. But the majority of the book is more focused on a coming of age story about Miranda getting into a new relationship, learning how to live her life without Syd, and figuring out where she wants to go to college.
I really enjoyed Miranda as the main character. She felt very different from a lot of other YA protagonists that I’ve read. But not in the sense that she’s just being ~quirky~ for no reason. Her relationship with her dad was one of the high points of the book for me.
Because Syd disappears so early on in the book I did find it a bit difficult to care a lot about her being gone since I felt like I barely knew her. I also struggled a bit with the pacing of the story. It felt like the story was going by so slow but then big jumps in time were happening as well.
Overall I enjoyed reading this book. It wasn’t my favorite thing I’ve ever read but I appreciated how it didn’t feel like a cookie cutter book.
I really enjoyed Miranda as the main character. She felt very different from a lot of other YA protagonists that I’ve read. But not in the sense that she’s just being ~quirky~ for no reason. Her relationship with her dad was one of the high points of the book for me.
Because Syd disappears so early on in the book I did find it a bit difficult to care a lot about her being gone since I felt like I barely knew her. I also struggled a bit with the pacing of the story. It felt like the story was going by so slow but then big jumps in time were happening as well.
Overall I enjoyed reading this book. It wasn’t my favorite thing I’ve ever read but I appreciated how it didn’t feel like a cookie cutter book.
July 12, 2018
DNF (skimmed to the end)
For me to enjoy a story with friendship as a central theme, I have to buy into the plausibility of the friendship. Aside from both girls having been abandoned by their mothers, I saw no affinity between Miranda and Syd. Miranda’s narration told of camaraderie, but it was never shown. All I could feel was that Miranda was lucky to be rid of Sydney after Syd ran away.
The positive aspects of the story were race, especially when Miranda, who resembled her Mexican mother, was constantly questioned if her blue-eyed Caucasian father was her biological parent. I also liked her college decision making process in relation to her boyfriend.
The pace of the story was slow, but I liked Carrie Fountain’s wording and writing style.
For me to enjoy a story with friendship as a central theme, I have to buy into the plausibility of the friendship. Aside from both girls having been abandoned by their mothers, I saw no affinity between Miranda and Syd. Miranda’s narration told of camaraderie, but it was never shown. All I could feel was that Miranda was lucky to be rid of Sydney after Syd ran away.
The positive aspects of the story were race, especially when Miranda, who resembled her Mexican mother, was constantly questioned if her blue-eyed Caucasian father was her biological parent. I also liked her college decision making process in relation to her boyfriend.
The pace of the story was slow, but I liked Carrie Fountain’s wording and writing style.
July 12, 2018
After a display of bizarre behavior, Miranda's best friend, Syd, disappeared.
This was the note Syd left for her father, but it was a crushing blow to Miranda, who was already dealing with prior desertions. Syd was her guide, her best friend, and supporter, and now Miranda was left to navigate the world without her.
This was such a beautiful story of love: platonic love between best friends, familial love, and first love.
The friendship between Syd and Miranda was built on a foundation of shared pain. Both were abandoned by their mothers at young ages, but their circumstances were quite different. While Syd lived in a home devoid of love, Miranda was lucky to have a father, who adored her, and attempted to fill in those holes left by her mother. Though I do believe Syd held Miranda back some, I never questioned her love for Miranda at any point.
Like I said, Miranda was fortunate to have a fantastic father. He was forced to grow as a parent, when Miranda's mother left, and he more than rose to the occasion. They had an incredible relationship, which was so genuine and heartwarming. Despite all the affection, Miranda still struggled a little with her identity, because she looked more like her Latina mother, than her white father, and this was something that burdened her throughout the book.
I saved my favorite "love" for last, because I am such a sap and love a good romance, which Fountain so wonderfully delivered. Watching these two navigate their feelings was such a treat. They were terribly adorable, and the way they fumbled through many of their interactions was so endearing and realistic. I adored that they talked to each other, like really talked to each other about important things, and I was especially pleased with the way Fountain navigated the physical side of their relationship. Consent was explicitly discussed, and I think it was extremely important in the context of this story.
There was a lot of exploration of different kinds of love, but there was also a little mystery infused via Syd's disappearance. Miranda searched for Syd on and off throughout the story, and she stumbled upon clues, which eventually revealed the real reason why Syd fled. But, what I enjoyed most was how Miranda found herself as she was searching for Syd. Without Syd running the show, Miranda was forced to rely on herself more, and as a result, she grew a great deal. She came to terms with some things from her past, which had been haunting her, and because of this, was able to look forward to her future.
Overall: A heartbreaking and heartwarming story of first love, facing change, and finding yourself in the wake of huge losses.
*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
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"I'm not missing. I'm gone."
This was the note Syd left for her father, but it was a crushing blow to Miranda, who was already dealing with prior desertions. Syd was her guide, her best friend, and supporter, and now Miranda was left to navigate the world without her.
This was such a beautiful story of love: platonic love between best friends, familial love, and first love.
The friendship between Syd and Miranda was built on a foundation of shared pain. Both were abandoned by their mothers at young ages, but their circumstances were quite different. While Syd lived in a home devoid of love, Miranda was lucky to have a father, who adored her, and attempted to fill in those holes left by her mother. Though I do believe Syd held Miranda back some, I never questioned her love for Miranda at any point.
Like I said, Miranda was fortunate to have a fantastic father. He was forced to grow as a parent, when Miranda's mother left, and he more than rose to the occasion. They had an incredible relationship, which was so genuine and heartwarming. Despite all the affection, Miranda still struggled a little with her identity, because she looked more like her Latina mother, than her white father, and this was something that burdened her throughout the book.
I saved my favorite "love" for last, because I am such a sap and love a good romance, which Fountain so wonderfully delivered. Watching these two navigate their feelings was such a treat. They were terribly adorable, and the way they fumbled through many of their interactions was so endearing and realistic. I adored that they talked to each other, like really talked to each other about important things, and I was especially pleased with the way Fountain navigated the physical side of their relationship. Consent was explicitly discussed, and I think it was extremely important in the context of this story.
There was a lot of exploration of different kinds of love, but there was also a little mystery infused via Syd's disappearance. Miranda searched for Syd on and off throughout the story, and she stumbled upon clues, which eventually revealed the real reason why Syd fled. But, what I enjoyed most was how Miranda found herself as she was searching for Syd. Without Syd running the show, Miranda was forced to rely on herself more, and as a result, she grew a great deal. She came to terms with some things from her past, which had been haunting her, and because of this, was able to look forward to her future.
Overall: A heartbreaking and heartwarming story of first love, facing change, and finding yourself in the wake of huge losses.
*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
BLOG | INSTAGRAM |TWITTER | BLOGLOVIN | FRIEND ME ON GOODREADS
July 29, 2018
I devoured the second half of this book and I can't stop thinking about it. The conversations around grief and friendship and agency this book inspires are just. Remarkable. I loved it so much.
January 29, 2019
“How many times would my father save my life without even knowing it?”
The relationship between Miranda and her father was so beautiful, it was truly the driving force of this wonderful book. I loved every minute and recommend it to everyone!
The relationship between Miranda and her father was so beautiful, it was truly the driving force of this wonderful book. I loved every minute and recommend it to everyone!
May 31, 2018
This book was... a lot for me. I absolutely loved it. Even though it centered on Miranda's relationships with Sydney and Nick, the aspect that really did it for me was the emphasis on and focus given to her relationship with her father. Without getting too into it, both Miranda and I lost our mothers- not lost as in she died, but lost as in she became lost to us. To see that sort of experience reflected so accurately and in such a raw way affected me much more than I expected. Insofar as her dad, I've never seen that sort of relationship reflected in a book: Miranda and her father both mourn her mother, even years later, and she has to watch him mourn and feel a pain that is different from her own. I know that feeling. And I know Miranda's feeling when she finally just says "for the first time in so long, I missed my mother". When someone is gone, you never really stop mourning. And Miranda being able to acknowledge that and say that, and me being able to read that, just hurt and helped me so much. Her dynamic with her father reminded me so much of my relationship with my own dad, whom I love so much, so I absolutely loved every scene and every sweet discussion they had together.
Deep/ angsty stuff aside, this book is just good. I'm absolutely blown away that this is Carrie's first novel, and she freaking nailed it. The dialogue is so smooth and natural, not at all like it's trying too hard. Miranda's obsessive feelings with Nick is so true to life, as is her turbulent relationship with Syd- she's her ride-or-die, until she's not, and then she's at the end of the spectrum, and sometimes that's what being friends is like. Perhaps my only complaint is that, while Syd is given ample backstory and character traits, I don't think I bought Miranda's never-ending loyalty to her, even after everything. For me, after what Syd did (no spoilers!), there would be no going back. But I also know that I've been in friendships and relationships where I told myself that that was it, no going back, but lo and behold. I guess I just wished... Miranda had talked about it more, rather than just thinking about it? She spoke about it with Syd, but it didn't feel like enough justification.
So there's my long and rambling review. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this book when I did, because now it will be close to my heart, always and forever.
Deep/ angsty stuff aside, this book is just good. I'm absolutely blown away that this is Carrie's first novel, and she freaking nailed it. The dialogue is so smooth and natural, not at all like it's trying too hard. Miranda's obsessive feelings with Nick is so true to life, as is her turbulent relationship with Syd- she's her ride-or-die, until she's not, and then she's at the end of the spectrum, and sometimes that's what being friends is like. Perhaps my only complaint is that, while Syd is given ample backstory and character traits, I don't think I bought Miranda's never-ending loyalty to her, even after everything. For me, after what Syd did (no spoilers!), there would be no going back. But I also know that I've been in friendships and relationships where I told myself that that was it, no going back, but lo and behold. I guess I just wished... Miranda had talked about it more, rather than just thinking about it? She spoke about it with Syd, but it didn't feel like enough justification.
So there's my long and rambling review. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this book when I did, because now it will be close to my heart, always and forever.
June 15, 2022
I usually don't give up on a book, however i could not get myself to finish this one. I attempted to read it for almost a month and got 50% of the way through the book and could not force myself to keep reading it. The plot is very slow moving and uninteresting. The plot just didn't grab me the way i had expected it to based on the synopsis. Maybe i would feel differently if i finished the book, and maybe one day i will. But for now i give it two stars base on the first half of the book.
September 3, 2020
“It’s the end of the world as we know it,” I whispered.
“And I feel fine.”
Me gustó y a la vez se me hizo muy meh. 🙃
Amé demasiado la relación que tiene Miranda con su papá, fue lo que más destacó de el libro. Hasta quisiese tener una relación así.
También, todo lo que sucedió con Nick y el final, fueron momentos guays que disfruté.
Pero en sí, la historia no es súper wow. Es entretenida y bonita hasta cierto punto.
Sin embargo, Miranda no fue de mi agrado completamente.
“And I feel fine.”
Me gustó y a la vez se me hizo muy meh. 🙃
Amé demasiado la relación que tiene Miranda con su papá, fue lo que más destacó de el libro. Hasta quisiese tener una relación así.
También, todo lo que sucedió con Nick y el final, fueron momentos guays que disfruté.
Pero en sí, la historia no es súper wow. Es entretenida y bonita hasta cierto punto.
Sin embargo, Miranda no fue de mi agrado completamente.
August 20, 2020
this is 5 stars on reread :) :) :)
original review:
4.5. I LOVED
original review:
4.5. I LOVED
May 3, 2022
"I'm Not Missing" anything, apparently. A YA novel that has a main problem--where did my bf go?--while traversing the world of HS. Colleges and sex, mixed in with family problems and growing pains. A very "by the book" type of book.
The highlight: locale. Finally, a novel that occurs in Las Cruces and tries to capture details that are part of the city in the Land of Enchantment. Mexican cuisine, as well as real life places and customs--Fountain is outstanding in showcasing the town, the people, the family life.
And a general question: why are parents in YA novels depicted as total such unhip squares?
And a follow-up: why have the kids grown a personality under such tepid and lame adult supervision?
The highlight: locale. Finally, a novel that occurs in Las Cruces and tries to capture details that are part of the city in the Land of Enchantment. Mexican cuisine, as well as real life places and customs--Fountain is outstanding in showcasing the town, the people, the family life.
And a general question: why are parents in YA novels depicted as total such unhip squares?
And a follow-up: why have the kids grown a personality under such tepid and lame adult supervision?
February 28, 2018
I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I don’t really like contemporaries- especially YA ones- because they all too often focus on meaningless drama that I find hard to relate to. However, I thought it would be safe to give this one a try because it sounded more like a mystery laced with honest reflections on life, as our main heroine tries to forge her own path outside the shadow of her missing mother and best friend. What it turned out to be was a high school teen drama, complete with the sudden romance I so hate in this genre. It was so difficult for me to get into this story. Honestly, I had to force myself to read because it was so slow and oddly dramatic. I actually perked up when, a few chapters in, Syd went missing. Surely the action I was craving would kick in.
To be fair, there is a lot I did enjoy about this book once it got rolling. The awkwardness between Nick and Miranda is done extremely well. They are two awkward teens and the author has done an outstanding job of making them seem real in their interactions together. Their dialogue is funny and not at all stilted or contrived- it felt real, which is actually hard to find in books these days. I liked that Nick was constantly checking on Miranda to make sure he wasn’t pressuring her, and the sex scene- though unnecessary in my opinion- was handled very well. Miranda makes her feelings known and Nick obliges, even checking on her to make sure everything they do is a solid yes. I liked that. It was sweet and the reinforcement of the need for a positive consent made me really happy, even if the portrayal of the sex itself (not explicit, in case you were worried) seemed wildly unrealistic for a first time.
The relationships in this book are all built really well. Miranda and her father have a completely different relationship from the one between Syd and her family, and even the one that Nick has with his parents. None of them are perfect, but they are all real and fleshed out- for good and for bad. The banter between Mir and her dad had me smiling a lot, actually. Even the missing mothers have a well-fleshed out pseudo-relationship with their daughters, if that makes any sense. Miranda’s devotion to her mom and the book she left behind is a big part of this story. It serves as Miranda’s inspiration and failsafe, and I enjoyed seeing her grow to lean less on it. Her relationship with God, or Zero, or the Milky Way- whatever- was fascinating and an interesting concept that is woven into the narrative especially well. I had the most trouble, however, with Syd and Miranda’s relationship. The more I learned about her the less I liked Syd. I didn’t even like her when she was present in the beginning chapters. She seemed controlling, and the ending chapters did little to redeem her in my eyes.
What I also liked was the diversity. Miranda is biracial- she has brown skin and her dad is white. I am also biracial- my mother is full Japanese and my dad is typical white man. My family is a range of colors, and my little sister and I are commonly mistaken as just friends instead of family with our drastically different skin tones. I liked seeing how the author handled the issue of a family that doesn’t quite look like each other. It was refreshing and very familiar.
What I disliked the most about this book was how slow it went. The romance between Nick and Miranda was a bit boring, and the way it suddenly happens in the beginning did not give me enough time to want to root for them. It felt very high school- very childish- in the beginning, which made me not want to continue reading. The drama I could have done without, and the whole reason for not speaking to each other seemed really pointless. Their relationship also went from zero to sixty in no time at all. I didn’t really believe anything that was happening- how could they already be in love??- even if the banter was dorky and adorable. The root of Syd’s departure was also a turnoff. I’ll admit it right now: I skipped to the end and cheated. I was so bored with what was happening that I skipped to the end to find out what happened, and I was not impressed at all. To be fair, when I went back and read from where I was, the progression of the plot was a bit better, but I’m still not one hundred percent into it. The Missing Syd moments seemed to jump in at random times just to ruin the mood of the romance, which felt like it ruined the flow of the book but I was not invested enough to really care. It just doesn’t feel like the characters really gained anything from what happened. Syd is still lost, and she let someone else dictate what happened to her life. She let go of her insane Plan because of one person who doesn’t even matter, and that really irked me. The fact that she chose to run away and cut all ties made no sense at all, and I was more irritated at the end instead of happy.
I don’t know. I was hoping for more from this book and ended up not particularly caring about any of the characters. The banter is fun, and some of the concepts woven in are interesting, but it was a bit too high school for me. There are plenty of editing errors in this arc (missing words, wrong words, etc), so I’m hoping it will get another lookover by the editor before going to print. The cover is really pretty, though. It draws the eye, and the faded constellations in the background make you look twice at it.
Many thanks to goodreads giveaways and the publisher for sending me an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest review.
To be fair, there is a lot I did enjoy about this book once it got rolling. The awkwardness between Nick and Miranda is done extremely well. They are two awkward teens and the author has done an outstanding job of making them seem real in their interactions together. Their dialogue is funny and not at all stilted or contrived- it felt real, which is actually hard to find in books these days. I liked that Nick was constantly checking on Miranda to make sure he wasn’t pressuring her, and the sex scene- though unnecessary in my opinion- was handled very well. Miranda makes her feelings known and Nick obliges, even checking on her to make sure everything they do is a solid yes. I liked that. It was sweet and the reinforcement of the need for a positive consent made me really happy, even if the portrayal of the sex itself (not explicit, in case you were worried) seemed wildly unrealistic for a first time.
The relationships in this book are all built really well. Miranda and her father have a completely different relationship from the one between Syd and her family, and even the one that Nick has with his parents. None of them are perfect, but they are all real and fleshed out- for good and for bad. The banter between Mir and her dad had me smiling a lot, actually. Even the missing mothers have a well-fleshed out pseudo-relationship with their daughters, if that makes any sense. Miranda’s devotion to her mom and the book she left behind is a big part of this story. It serves as Miranda’s inspiration and failsafe, and I enjoyed seeing her grow to lean less on it. Her relationship with God, or Zero, or the Milky Way- whatever- was fascinating and an interesting concept that is woven into the narrative especially well. I had the most trouble, however, with Syd and Miranda’s relationship. The more I learned about her the less I liked Syd. I didn’t even like her when she was present in the beginning chapters. She seemed controlling, and the ending chapters did little to redeem her in my eyes.
What I also liked was the diversity. Miranda is biracial- she has brown skin and her dad is white. I am also biracial- my mother is full Japanese and my dad is typical white man. My family is a range of colors, and my little sister and I are commonly mistaken as just friends instead of family with our drastically different skin tones. I liked seeing how the author handled the issue of a family that doesn’t quite look like each other. It was refreshing and very familiar.
What I disliked the most about this book was how slow it went. The romance between Nick and Miranda was a bit boring, and the way it suddenly happens in the beginning did not give me enough time to want to root for them. It felt very high school- very childish- in the beginning, which made me not want to continue reading. The drama I could have done without, and the whole reason for not speaking to each other seemed really pointless. Their relationship also went from zero to sixty in no time at all. I didn’t really believe anything that was happening- how could they already be in love??- even if the banter was dorky and adorable. The root of Syd’s departure was also a turnoff. I’ll admit it right now: I skipped to the end and cheated. I was so bored with what was happening that I skipped to the end to find out what happened, and I was not impressed at all. To be fair, when I went back and read from where I was, the progression of the plot was a bit better, but I’m still not one hundred percent into it. The Missing Syd moments seemed to jump in at random times just to ruin the mood of the romance, which felt like it ruined the flow of the book but I was not invested enough to really care. It just doesn’t feel like the characters really gained anything from what happened. Syd is still lost, and she let someone else dictate what happened to her life. She let go of her insane Plan because of one person who doesn’t even matter, and that really irked me. The fact that she chose to run away and cut all ties made no sense at all, and I was more irritated at the end instead of happy.
I don’t know. I was hoping for more from this book and ended up not particularly caring about any of the characters. The banter is fun, and some of the concepts woven in are interesting, but it was a bit too high school for me. There are plenty of editing errors in this arc (missing words, wrong words, etc), so I’m hoping it will get another lookover by the editor before going to print. The cover is really pretty, though. It draws the eye, and the faded constellations in the background make you look twice at it.
Many thanks to goodreads giveaways and the publisher for sending me an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest review.
March 3, 2019
“i tried to find a place for this new pain, this brand-new baby grief, but there was nowhere to put it. i’d just have to carry it.”
WOWEEEE. i read this in less than 24 hours and finished it while both laughing and crying. gorgeous, layered, hilarious, and touching. as much as i adored the love story (and i really, really did) the true love story was miranda and her dad. i have never read a better depiction of a parent/child relationship. (her dad...is my dream man???) this is an absolute knockout of a story. i will reread this one over and over again.
WOWEEEE. i read this in less than 24 hours and finished it while both laughing and crying. gorgeous, layered, hilarious, and touching. as much as i adored the love story (and i really, really did) the true love story was miranda and her dad. i have never read a better depiction of a parent/child relationship. (her dad...is my dream man???) this is an absolute knockout of a story. i will reread this one over and over again.
February 20, 2019
OH MY GODDDDDD! Loved loved loved this!!! I want to know more about Miranda and Nick but I’m happy with what happened. I do wish we knew where and how her mom was doing. I love how she has her dad and how chill he is. I honestly wasn’t expecting to like this as much as I did and I only picked it up because of the cover, but I’m so glad I did.
September 19, 2023
syd was so selfish and annoying and miranda deserved better. i’m glad miranda and nick ended up together though i was really rooting for them.
January 13, 2018
Carrie Fountain's I'm Not Missing explores the life of a young woman in the wake of her best friend's disappearance. The protagonist, Miranda, comes to find herself as she deals with new love, lack of a mother, relationships with her family, religion, and choices about her future.
One of the novel's highest points is the believable and smooth dialogue between characters and the overall tone of Miranda as the narrative voice. I find that one of the potholes that adult authors tend to encounter when writing teen characters is that they clearly have absolutely no idea how teens talk (I'm thinking of James Patterson's Maximum Ride series here as one prime example), which ends up invalidating their characters' voices and sounding more patronizing than anything. Fountain doesn't run into this problem. Not only are the characters believable, their problems, decisions, and thought processes are given ample time and seem to be taken seriously. The dialogue is fast-paced and keeps the reader interested.
Another positive is the overall feminist tone throughout. Another blunder I see happen too often in YA lit is the overall disappointing lack of social awareness. Authors tend to have their characters fall into oft-used tropes such as the "not like the other girls" character and unrealistic sex scenes. Feminism flows heavily throughout the novel, both explicitly and *extremely* explicitly. For example, the one sex scene that happens is more realistic than I was expecting out of YA (the word "consent" was actually used!!), and Miranda does indeed appear to have agency over her own body.
This leads me to the biggest con I could find with this novel, which is in the two main female characters, Syd and Miranda. Syd is the rebellious, headstrong yet driven girl who isn't about to let anything stand in her path to success. Miranda is the girl whose success is largely based upon what she thinks she has to do to keep up with her friend. Both of them make choices that will hopefully lead them to success despite being without mothers to guide them through life. Syd ends up in a bad situation with an older man, and Miranda ends up falling in love with a boy she's had a crush on since freshman year. My problem lies in the reasons behind why they make their decisions. Both, essentially, are making major life choices based on how the men in their lives are influencing them. I wanted to see more decisions being made based on who the women wanted to be and not who they want to be with. To go along with this, the entire story centers almost entirely on the Miranda/Nick relationship. It's cute, and adds a typical YA romance spin to the story, but I found myself at best vaguely interested and at worst completely sick of their love story. There isn't much making the relationship interesting, in my opinion, but for some reason it's the main focus of the novel. There is quite a few more interesting avenues that could have been at the center of Miranda's and Syd's motives, like having missing mothers or trying to live up to their (and their parents') expectations for their educations and their futures. Instead, a sappy love story (sappy enough to make me roll my eyes at the end) is what drives the novel, and it's kind of a shame because the overall premise is really interesting.
Overall, this novel is written well and is written in a way that distinguishes it from its fellow YA reads. While the plot driving the novel is a little disappointing considering the various avenues that could have been taken, I do think this novel is worth the read.
One of the novel's highest points is the believable and smooth dialogue between characters and the overall tone of Miranda as the narrative voice. I find that one of the potholes that adult authors tend to encounter when writing teen characters is that they clearly have absolutely no idea how teens talk (I'm thinking of James Patterson's Maximum Ride series here as one prime example), which ends up invalidating their characters' voices and sounding more patronizing than anything. Fountain doesn't run into this problem. Not only are the characters believable, their problems, decisions, and thought processes are given ample time and seem to be taken seriously. The dialogue is fast-paced and keeps the reader interested.
Another positive is the overall feminist tone throughout. Another blunder I see happen too often in YA lit is the overall disappointing lack of social awareness. Authors tend to have their characters fall into oft-used tropes such as the "not like the other girls" character and unrealistic sex scenes. Feminism flows heavily throughout the novel, both explicitly and *extremely* explicitly. For example, the one sex scene that happens is more realistic than I was expecting out of YA (the word "consent" was actually used!!), and Miranda does indeed appear to have agency over her own body.
This leads me to the biggest con I could find with this novel, which is in the two main female characters, Syd and Miranda. Syd is the rebellious, headstrong yet driven girl who isn't about to let anything stand in her path to success. Miranda is the girl whose success is largely based upon what she thinks she has to do to keep up with her friend. Both of them make choices that will hopefully lead them to success despite being without mothers to guide them through life. Syd ends up in a bad situation with an older man, and Miranda ends up falling in love with a boy she's had a crush on since freshman year. My problem lies in the reasons behind why they make their decisions. Both, essentially, are making major life choices based on how the men in their lives are influencing them. I wanted to see more decisions being made based on who the women wanted to be and not who they want to be with. To go along with this, the entire story centers almost entirely on the Miranda/Nick relationship. It's cute, and adds a typical YA romance spin to the story, but I found myself at best vaguely interested and at worst completely sick of their love story. There isn't much making the relationship interesting, in my opinion, but for some reason it's the main focus of the novel. There is quite a few more interesting avenues that could have been at the center of Miranda's and Syd's motives, like having missing mothers or trying to live up to their (and their parents') expectations for their educations and their futures. Instead, a sappy love story (sappy enough to make me roll my eyes at the end) is what drives the novel, and it's kind of a shame because the overall premise is really interesting.
Overall, this novel is written well and is written in a way that distinguishes it from its fellow YA reads. While the plot driving the novel is a little disappointing considering the various avenues that could have been taken, I do think this novel is worth the read.
June 2, 2018
I was absolutely blown away by this book. I was shocked to learn that this is Carrie Fountain's first novel. It's beautiful, haunting, and just straight up well written.
However, I definitely wasn't surprised to learn that her first two publications are books of poetry. It's clear that Fountain has a way with words. The way that the writing flows is beautiful. It's a bit slow paced, but I liked that. This book is set in the desert area of the US, so for me the tempo of the writing matched the slow, low heat of the setting that the author drew me into.
I like that all of the characters were multi-faceted and had depth to them. You learn who Miranda is both at the side of her best friend Syd, and rediscover her along the way when Syd is no longer there. You learn who Nick is both through the eyes of Syd, who hates his guts, and through Miranda, who yearns for him even after he makes some questionable decisions. Even her father, who isn't really a main character, you learn to see the fatherly, put together side that Miranda sees and the scientific genius version that the rest of the world sees.
I like that Miranda was a little weird, and that she's relatable. She's flawed, like all of us. She respects prayer because of her family roots, but she isn't into the praying thing herself. So when she needs to sleep, she recites a historical speech to herself aloud instead. She breaks a romantic tension moment by laughing. She struggles with friendship and loss in a way that I think is just so human.
And then there's the case of the missing friend. Well, "not missing" friend. I actually wasn't sure where this plot arch was going, in a sort of a "who done it" type mystery style. I won't give spoilers, but I will say that I did not see the book taking the twists that it did, and it took me by surprise. But in a good way.
My only real criticism of this book has to do with the ending. I felt like there was still a few loose ends left frayed by the time the book was over. I'm a little disappointed that Miranda's mother wasn't a bigger part of the plot line. I would have really liked to have followed that path to learn more about what happened and why.
This book is gritty and emotional, but also full of twists and even quite a few laughs. Reading the slow paced, flowing language made it very relaxing and soothing to read, despite all of the drama and issues that are presented in the book. Be warned, there's some hard to swallow for some topics, like sex, abuse, and abandonment.
I hope this isn't the last novel by Carrie Fountain, and I recommend this to anyone who likes realistic fiction with a darker, problematic side to it.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you.
However, I definitely wasn't surprised to learn that her first two publications are books of poetry. It's clear that Fountain has a way with words. The way that the writing flows is beautiful. It's a bit slow paced, but I liked that. This book is set in the desert area of the US, so for me the tempo of the writing matched the slow, low heat of the setting that the author drew me into.
I like that all of the characters were multi-faceted and had depth to them. You learn who Miranda is both at the side of her best friend Syd, and rediscover her along the way when Syd is no longer there. You learn who Nick is both through the eyes of Syd, who hates his guts, and through Miranda, who yearns for him even after he makes some questionable decisions. Even her father, who isn't really a main character, you learn to see the fatherly, put together side that Miranda sees and the scientific genius version that the rest of the world sees.
I like that Miranda was a little weird, and that she's relatable. She's flawed, like all of us. She respects prayer because of her family roots, but she isn't into the praying thing herself. So when she needs to sleep, she recites a historical speech to herself aloud instead. She breaks a romantic tension moment by laughing. She struggles with friendship and loss in a way that I think is just so human.
And then there's the case of the missing friend. Well, "not missing" friend. I actually wasn't sure where this plot arch was going, in a sort of a "who done it" type mystery style. I won't give spoilers, but I will say that I did not see the book taking the twists that it did, and it took me by surprise. But in a good way.
My only real criticism of this book has to do with the ending. I felt like there was still a few loose ends left frayed by the time the book was over. I'm a little disappointed that Miranda's mother wasn't a bigger part of the plot line. I would have really liked to have followed that path to learn more about what happened and why.
This book is gritty and emotional, but also full of twists and even quite a few laughs. Reading the slow paced, flowing language made it very relaxing and soothing to read, despite all of the drama and issues that are presented in the book. Be warned, there's some hard to swallow for some topics, like sex, abuse, and abandonment.
I hope this isn't the last novel by Carrie Fountain, and I recommend this to anyone who likes realistic fiction with a darker, problematic side to it.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you.
July 10, 2018
MY REVIEW:
I'm Not Missing is a novel about a girl named Miranda whose best friend abruptly cuts off contact and skips town in the middle of their senior year of high school. It’s a story all about change and how to adapt to it.
The story was just beautifully written. Carrie Fountain is not afraid to talk about serious topics. It grips you from the start and it’s so captivating.
Miranda, the main character was completely relatable, I understood every decision she was making and where she was coming from. The family interaction was other thing that made this book stand out.
I'm Not Missing is perfect for a summer read and is going to be a favorite of contemporary fans.
BOOK STATS
Plot: ✰✰✰
Characters: ✰✰✰✰
Writing Style ✰✰✰✰
Personal Experience ✰✰✰
Overall: ✰✰✰✰✰ (3.8 Stars)
I'm Not Missing is a novel about a girl named Miranda whose best friend abruptly cuts off contact and skips town in the middle of their senior year of high school. It’s a story all about change and how to adapt to it.
The story was just beautifully written. Carrie Fountain is not afraid to talk about serious topics. It grips you from the start and it’s so captivating.
Miranda, the main character was completely relatable, I understood every decision she was making and where she was coming from. The family interaction was other thing that made this book stand out.
I'm Not Missing is perfect for a summer read and is going to be a favorite of contemporary fans.
BOOK STATS
Plot: ✰✰✰
Characters: ✰✰✰✰
Writing Style ✰✰✰✰
Personal Experience ✰✰✰
Overall: ✰✰✰✰✰ (3.8 Stars)
October 28, 2019
4/5⭐️
Es un libro interesante, la historia es un poco similar a los libros de buscando a Alaska y ciudades de papel, en el hecho de qué hay un personaje que desaparece y deja a los demás con una intriga del porque se va.
Me gustaron mucho los personajes, creo que mis favoritos fueron Peter y Nick; peter que es el papa de Miranda se me hizo un papa muy amoroso, comprensivo y buena onda, ya quisiera un papá así! Hahah y Nick, omg Nick, es ese chico nerd del que te enamoras si o si, (quiero un novio así por favor haha)
Pero en fin, la trama es muy buena, la pluma de la escritora en su mayoría fue ligera y muy digerible, me lo devoré en un santiamén🙌🏻✨
Espero sacar reseña muy pronto en el canal♥️
Es un libro interesante, la historia es un poco similar a los libros de buscando a Alaska y ciudades de papel, en el hecho de qué hay un personaje que desaparece y deja a los demás con una intriga del porque se va.
Me gustaron mucho los personajes, creo que mis favoritos fueron Peter y Nick; peter que es el papa de Miranda se me hizo un papa muy amoroso, comprensivo y buena onda, ya quisiera un papá así! Hahah y Nick, omg Nick, es ese chico nerd del que te enamoras si o si, (quiero un novio así por favor haha)
Pero en fin, la trama es muy buena, la pluma de la escritora en su mayoría fue ligera y muy digerible, me lo devoré en un santiamén🙌🏻✨
Espero sacar reseña muy pronto en el canal♥️
January 21, 2020
Fue una gran sorpresa, la verdad no tenía muchas espectativas respecto a este libro, debido a que busqué reseñas y no encontré gran cosa.
Me hizo llorar, me robó el corazón.
El personaje de Miranda crece con el paso del tiempo, logra que te identifiques con ella y sus emociones son tan reales que te las transmite de forma genuina.
La historia da más de un giro inesperado y por más que intentaba adivinar el final, no lo veía venir.
Una historia de amor 🧡 del amor hacia la familia, del amor propio, del amor a la pareja y amigos.
Sin duda alguna, una historia que no se pueden perder.
Me hizo llorar, me robó el corazón.
El personaje de Miranda crece con el paso del tiempo, logra que te identifiques con ella y sus emociones son tan reales que te las transmite de forma genuina.
La historia da más de un giro inesperado y por más que intentaba adivinar el final, no lo veía venir.
Una historia de amor 🧡 del amor hacia la familia, del amor propio, del amor a la pareja y amigos.
Sin duda alguna, una historia que no se pueden perder.
July 21, 2018
I loved this young adult fiction- it felt so true to the struggles and inter-dialogue I had as a teenager without being overdone or too frustrating as I often find young adult fiction to feel. I loved Miranda, her relationship with her dad and her love of Syd, in spite of Syd’s shortcomings.
Read
March 10, 2019What will she discover about herself when her best friend goes missing?
Her mother left her with nothing, so Miranda took refuge in Syd, another young woman who is also missing her mother. This is the basis of their friendship. After being in each other's lives for almost as long as they can remember, Syd suddenly disappeared. Miranda was left alone to try to figure out where Syd went. As her search for Syd went on Miranda found much more than she ever expected, including a relationship with her crush and who she really was after stepping out of Syd's shadow.
I'm Not Missing is it truly a book of many layers. Full of love, friendship, anxiety, inappropriate relationships, mystery, and wondering, it has something for everyone.
Miranda was such an awesome character. She started out as sweet, likable, and vulnerable, but she truly became so much more as the story went on. The thoughts in her head seemed so clear and vivid. It was truly a joy to watch her become independent and more in love with herself.
Syd was very brash and independent from the start. While we don't get to see inside her head like we do with Miranda who narrates, we really come to know her. She tried her best and she made a lot of bad decisions and clearly had many secrets.
I'm not actually sure why Miranda was so loyal to Syd, as Syd kept a lot from her and wasn't very nice to her at times. She also really played a critical role in Miranda's decisions.
Complicated to the max,it was very clear though that their friendship ran deep. Their platonic bond was so strong. I'm always a sucker for a strong friendship in books.
This book has so much love in it. There is all types, familial, platonic, and romantic. As I stated before, the friendship it was such a big factor in this book. Miranda and Nick's relationship was adorable. They accepted each other for who the other was and all the horrible secrets that the other had burdening them. It was truly endearing to see their relationship forming ( Nick definitely became one of my book boyfriends that I wish to have ). Perhaps my favorite bond though was that between Miranda and her father. They really loved each other and took care of each other. Her dad was caring, funny, loving, and knew exactly what his daughter needed. Even though he had many dad like characteristics, he respected his daughter.
Carrie Fountain has a great writing style. She wrote the relationships so real. So many feminist themes were in this book. I was overjoyed to see that. There was also talk about sex positivity and consent. What I love most about her writing was how she formed her characters , especially Miranda. She wrote Miranda in a way that she stayed true to herself but also discovered new parts of her and came to love herself.
My one complaint is that while her main characters were teenagers, they didn't always talk or act like them.
I'm Not Missing is a mystery full of well formed characters with so many secrets.
Her mother left her with nothing, so Miranda took refuge in Syd, another young woman who is also missing her mother. This is the basis of their friendship. After being in each other's lives for almost as long as they can remember, Syd suddenly disappeared. Miranda was left alone to try to figure out where Syd went. As her search for Syd went on Miranda found much more than she ever expected, including a relationship with her crush and who she really was after stepping out of Syd's shadow.
I'm Not Missing is it truly a book of many layers. Full of love, friendship, anxiety, inappropriate relationships, mystery, and wondering, it has something for everyone.
Miranda was such an awesome character. She started out as sweet, likable, and vulnerable, but she truly became so much more as the story went on. The thoughts in her head seemed so clear and vivid. It was truly a joy to watch her become independent and more in love with herself.
Syd was very brash and independent from the start. While we don't get to see inside her head like we do with Miranda who narrates, we really come to know her. She tried her best and she made a lot of bad decisions and clearly had many secrets.
I'm not actually sure why Miranda was so loyal to Syd, as Syd kept a lot from her and wasn't very nice to her at times. She also really played a critical role in Miranda's decisions.
Complicated to the max,it was very clear though that their friendship ran deep. Their platonic bond was so strong. I'm always a sucker for a strong friendship in books.
This book has so much love in it. There is all types, familial, platonic, and romantic. As I stated before, the friendship it was such a big factor in this book. Miranda and Nick's relationship was adorable. They accepted each other for who the other was and all the horrible secrets that the other had burdening them. It was truly endearing to see their relationship forming ( Nick definitely became one of my book boyfriends that I wish to have ). Perhaps my favorite bond though was that between Miranda and her father. They really loved each other and took care of each other. Her dad was caring, funny, loving, and knew exactly what his daughter needed. Even though he had many dad like characteristics, he respected his daughter.
Carrie Fountain has a great writing style. She wrote the relationships so real. So many feminist themes were in this book. I was overjoyed to see that. There was also talk about sex positivity and consent. What I love most about her writing was how she formed her characters , especially Miranda. She wrote Miranda in a way that she stayed true to herself but also discovered new parts of her and came to love herself.
My one complaint is that while her main characters were teenagers, they didn't always talk or act like them.
I'm Not Missing is a mystery full of well formed characters with so many secrets.
August 18, 2018
i just finished this lovely YA read by carrie fountain and 😭😍👏🏻 it was wonderful. thank you, @flatiron_books for sending this one my way.
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this book is full of wonderful coming-of-age realness, complex family relationships, difficult life decisions, grief, loss, challenging, but deep friendships. it packed a great punch, and had me experiencing all the feels. the story is so multi-faceted that it keeps you hooked and engaged, throughout.
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the real kicker, for me, which i think will be different for everyone, based on your own experiences— but i really appreciated the father-daughter relationship in this book. that’s what kept me really hooked. the father in this book is written about in such a beautiful and realistic way, and left me just feeling so happy about his role in the story. it’s complex, it feels real, and it left me missing my dad back home 😭
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read this if you’re looking for a book about coming-of-age complexities, or looking for a different perspective on the loss of a parent, or if you are looking for a dynamic perspective on the intersection of friendship, love, and family. a gem of a read, for sure!
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4|5✨
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this book is full of wonderful coming-of-age realness, complex family relationships, difficult life decisions, grief, loss, challenging, but deep friendships. it packed a great punch, and had me experiencing all the feels. the story is so multi-faceted that it keeps you hooked and engaged, throughout.
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the real kicker, for me, which i think will be different for everyone, based on your own experiences— but i really appreciated the father-daughter relationship in this book. that’s what kept me really hooked. the father in this book is written about in such a beautiful and realistic way, and left me just feeling so happy about his role in the story. it’s complex, it feels real, and it left me missing my dad back home 😭
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read this if you’re looking for a book about coming-of-age complexities, or looking for a different perspective on the loss of a parent, or if you are looking for a dynamic perspective on the intersection of friendship, love, and family. a gem of a read, for sure!
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4|5✨
July 25, 2025
Paper Towns, but if not a single person cared that the manic pixie dream girl ran away before graduation (though the emphasis in this book is the prom). The MC Miranda is the best friend of the "gone, not missing" girl Sydney, and literally waits until the day of prom to actually go looking for her.
If your mom abandoned you, this book is for you. Both Miranda and Syd have moms that abandoned them (for alcohol, and a cult). The only difference is that Mira has a great dad to pick up the pieces and all Sydney gets is Daddy Issues with the trash father she's left with. Also, this is more of a love story than one of friendship since Mira gets over her friend running away pretty quickly because suddenly the guy she's been crushing on forever has come back into her life. He also has Daddy Issues.
Read by Rebecca Soler. #booksin25
If your mom abandoned you, this book is for you. Both Miranda and Syd have moms that abandoned them (for alcohol, and a cult). The only difference is that Mira has a great dad to pick up the pieces and all Sydney gets is Daddy Issues with the trash father she's left with. Also, this is more of a love story than one of friendship since Mira gets over her friend running away pretty quickly because suddenly the guy she's been crushing on forever has come back into her life. He also has Daddy Issues.
Read by Rebecca Soler. #booksin25
August 22, 2019
This is not really mystery nor thriller (as I thought it was). This is a YA contemporary heterosexual romance story. I wanted to like the focus on friendship, but it wasn't great, as I didn't really know why I should be invested in Syd so much, and she wasn't the type of unlikeable character that is complex and makes you think; instead she is pretty flat (through the narrator's memories). There is a kind of reveal. It's a story that needs to be told, but sadly I think it could have been told better.
I did love the way the timidness and relationship between Miranda and Nick was written. I also enjoyed the setting and the pozole.
I did love the way the timidness and relationship between Miranda and Nick was written. I also enjoyed the setting and the pozole.
October 5, 2024
I started off loving this book! The plot was there, the writing was enticing… but half way through it felt like it was over and I thought “how am I still only halfway through? What else could possibly happen?” Honestly not much. Felt like the author had a great idea, but didn’t know how to finish the story. The first half was great! But the second half felt forced and boring. Anticlimactic.
September 25, 2018
Listened to audiobook.
March 8, 2019
The right book at the right time. No slavery, Holocaust or Internment camps. First love HS style, with likeable engaging characters. Syd and Miranda are best friends. Miranda crushes Nick. Syd runs away from home.
“ I want to climb inside your body and sleep.”
“ I want to climb inside your body and sleep.”
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