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Availability: The Spiritual Joy of Helping Others
In the Gospels, Christ gave a mandate to his disciples to be open to others and to God. In Availability , Wicks teaches that Christian ministry on every level requires humility, self-knowledge, awareness of our own limitations, and a determination to carry on despite challenges.
128 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
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21 people want to read
About the author
Robert J. Wicks
89 books37 followersThere is more than one author with this name. See also: Robert Wicks & Robert Wicks.
Robert J. Wicks (born August 2, 1946 in Queens, New York) is a clinical psychologist and writer about the intersection of spirituality and psychology. Wicks is a well known speaker, therapist, and spiritual guide who has taught at universities and professional schools of psychology, medicine, nursing, theology, and social work for more than thirty years. He a Professor Emeritus at Loyola University Maryland
Robert J. Wicks (born August 2, 1946 in Queens, New York) is a clinical psychologist and writer about the intersection of spirituality and psychology. Wicks is a well known speaker, therapist, and spiritual guide who has taught at universities and professional schools of psychology, medicine, nursing, theology, and social work for more than thirty years. He a Professor Emeritus at Loyola University Maryland
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
July 28, 2024
My favourite parts:
"He hadn't taken out time from his day to be with me; he had made me a part of his life."
Page 2
"To be as available as possible to others requires that we be continually aware of who we are psychologically, and where we are spiritually. In other words, we must make an effort to be as "self aware" as possible."
Page 3
"...self-awareness and knowledge of God go hand in hand."
Page 3
"Softly looking at ourselves does not mean glossing over our difficulties or faults. It means viewing ourselves through Christ's compassionate eyes so that we can gain the vision to "go and sin no more" (John 8:11)."
Page 18
"If we look at our behavior in an effort to purge our sinfulness, the process will be ill-fated from the start. We will be a vengeful god to ourselves and do nothing but depress and upset ourselves to the point that we may give up such an effort altogether or lose sight of our gifts and God's all encompassing love and forgiveness."
Page 35
"Relationships are beneficial when they are open and free. The more conditioned they need to be, the less healthy and mature they are. The limits we place on others, and the ones we feel we must respond to from others, are often really unnecessary and destructive."
Page 50
"So, to understand our relationships with others there must first be an appreciation of how we relate to ourselves."
Page 51
"Does this mean that in lowering our defenses we are being called to be another person and to throw away our personality style? Are we being asked to behave in a radically different way? No. The need is to change our attitude, our motivations."
Page 54
"The calm, attentive hand always heals more deeply than the quick touch of the busy "do-gooder."
Page 63
"Am I willing to risk believing that my presence itself can be healing and not submit to the interior or exterior pressures to try to rush in with a quick "solution," or efficient action? Am I willing to help in the name of Christ and not worry that I am not the savior myself?"
Page 65
"To a faith-full person, everywhere is the LORD's home."
Page 68
"In a way despair is at the center of things—if only we are prepared to go through it. We must be prepared for a period when God is not there for us and we must be aware of not trying to substitute a false God. The day when God is absent, when he is silent—that is the beginning of prayer. Not when we have a lot to say, but when we say to God "I can't live without you; why are you so cruel, so silent?" This knowledge that we must find or die—that makes us break through to the place where we are in the Presence. If we listen to what our hearts know of love and longing and are never afraid of despair, we find that victory is always on the other side of it.
– Anthony Bloom"
Page 73
"Experiencing the LORD is a goal in life; as a matter of fact, it is the only goal."
Page 84
"Distractions from prayer are common because we are an action-oriented society which likes to encourage self-worship. Since we are from a culture that values "doing," even the most spiritually committed among us have to constantly deal with a gnawing belief that prayer is not as important as action. Consequently, if anything has to drop out of our schedule it is prayer time."
Page 86
"There are times though when certain distractions repeat themselves and seem to demand center stage. A friend might be sick, we may have financial problems, there may be an issue we have with alcohol abuse, there may be someone who frightens us or with whom we are angry, or we may have sexual feelings which bother us. In these instances, many people experienced in spiritual direction suggest to us that we shouldn't try to go around or ignore these interruptions, but see them as parts of our life that need to be integrated in the LORD. So, instead of fighting them, we present them to the LORD for healing attention. In laying them to rest in the LORD, we can then concentrate on God instead of ourselves and our problems."
Page 88 - 89
"Knowing about someone is completely different from actually knowing someone. In the former instance the quality of the relationship is distance. Even close physical proximity doesn't bridge the gap. The fact still remains that the person is a stranger. Intimacy is only possible when we actually know someone, when we have gone through the anxieties, the games, the personal doubts, the superficiality of it all."
Page 94
"There are many ways to improve our relationship with someone. Probably the most basic is to take the effort to know someone and to allow this person to know us. In other words, we must move from the stage of "knowing about" to "intimacy." This takes time, patience, and willingness. To know God there must be a willingness to give time to the relationship. As in a serious relationship this must not be the "left-over" time; it needs to be important time, scheduled time. Then in this time there must be patience and a willingness to listen. If we meet someone and take all of the time talking about ourselves, our needs, and our impressions of the other person, we will never get to know the individual. Instead we will appear to be saying to him or her that we actually want to avoid intimacy; we don't care to know the person; we are only interested in ourselves. Or, in a deeper sense, we are saying that we are afraid of intimacy. We are afraid of the demands that might be made, the truths that might be uttered, the expectations the person might have of us. The same can be said about our relationship with the LORD."
Page 94 - 95
"To pray, I think, does not mean to think about God in contrast to thinking about other things, or to spend time with God instead of spending time with other people. Rather, it means to think and live in the presence of God. As soon as we begin to divide our thoughts into thoughts about God and thoughts about people and events, we remove God from our daily life and put him in a pious little niche where we can think pious thoughts and experience pious feelings. Although it is important and even indispensable for the spiritual life to set apart time for God and God alone, prayer can only become unceasing prayer when all our thoughts—beautiful or ugly, high or low, proud or shameful, sorrowful or joyful—can be thought in the presence of God.
–Henri J.M. Nouwen"
Page 97
"Prayer then helps to maintain clarity. It encourages us to see ourselves for who we are, as well as to be happy with the dependence we have on God. It helps us to see the attitude of compassion for what it is, and avoid the pitfalls inherent in helping others for what we can get out of it rather than for the gentle experience it can produce in others and ourselves. Finally, prayer can help us resist imaging idols rather than God and making more of the joys of life than we ought."
Page 102
"He hadn't taken out time from his day to be with me; he had made me a part of his life."
Page 2
"To be as available as possible to others requires that we be continually aware of who we are psychologically, and where we are spiritually. In other words, we must make an effort to be as "self aware" as possible."
Page 3
"...self-awareness and knowledge of God go hand in hand."
Page 3
"Softly looking at ourselves does not mean glossing over our difficulties or faults. It means viewing ourselves through Christ's compassionate eyes so that we can gain the vision to "go and sin no more" (John 8:11)."
Page 18
"If we look at our behavior in an effort to purge our sinfulness, the process will be ill-fated from the start. We will be a vengeful god to ourselves and do nothing but depress and upset ourselves to the point that we may give up such an effort altogether or lose sight of our gifts and God's all encompassing love and forgiveness."
Page 35
"Relationships are beneficial when they are open and free. The more conditioned they need to be, the less healthy and mature they are. The limits we place on others, and the ones we feel we must respond to from others, are often really unnecessary and destructive."
Page 50
"So, to understand our relationships with others there must first be an appreciation of how we relate to ourselves."
Page 51
"Does this mean that in lowering our defenses we are being called to be another person and to throw away our personality style? Are we being asked to behave in a radically different way? No. The need is to change our attitude, our motivations."
Page 54
"The calm, attentive hand always heals more deeply than the quick touch of the busy "do-gooder."
Page 63
"Am I willing to risk believing that my presence itself can be healing and not submit to the interior or exterior pressures to try to rush in with a quick "solution," or efficient action? Am I willing to help in the name of Christ and not worry that I am not the savior myself?"
Page 65
"To a faith-full person, everywhere is the LORD's home."
Page 68
"In a way despair is at the center of things—if only we are prepared to go through it. We must be prepared for a period when God is not there for us and we must be aware of not trying to substitute a false God. The day when God is absent, when he is silent—that is the beginning of prayer. Not when we have a lot to say, but when we say to God "I can't live without you; why are you so cruel, so silent?" This knowledge that we must find or die—that makes us break through to the place where we are in the Presence. If we listen to what our hearts know of love and longing and are never afraid of despair, we find that victory is always on the other side of it.
– Anthony Bloom"
Page 73
"Experiencing the LORD is a goal in life; as a matter of fact, it is the only goal."
Page 84
"Distractions from prayer are common because we are an action-oriented society which likes to encourage self-worship. Since we are from a culture that values "doing," even the most spiritually committed among us have to constantly deal with a gnawing belief that prayer is not as important as action. Consequently, if anything has to drop out of our schedule it is prayer time."
Page 86
"There are times though when certain distractions repeat themselves and seem to demand center stage. A friend might be sick, we may have financial problems, there may be an issue we have with alcohol abuse, there may be someone who frightens us or with whom we are angry, or we may have sexual feelings which bother us. In these instances, many people experienced in spiritual direction suggest to us that we shouldn't try to go around or ignore these interruptions, but see them as parts of our life that need to be integrated in the LORD. So, instead of fighting them, we present them to the LORD for healing attention. In laying them to rest in the LORD, we can then concentrate on God instead of ourselves and our problems."
Page 88 - 89
"Knowing about someone is completely different from actually knowing someone. In the former instance the quality of the relationship is distance. Even close physical proximity doesn't bridge the gap. The fact still remains that the person is a stranger. Intimacy is only possible when we actually know someone, when we have gone through the anxieties, the games, the personal doubts, the superficiality of it all."
Page 94
"There are many ways to improve our relationship with someone. Probably the most basic is to take the effort to know someone and to allow this person to know us. In other words, we must move from the stage of "knowing about" to "intimacy." This takes time, patience, and willingness. To know God there must be a willingness to give time to the relationship. As in a serious relationship this must not be the "left-over" time; it needs to be important time, scheduled time. Then in this time there must be patience and a willingness to listen. If we meet someone and take all of the time talking about ourselves, our needs, and our impressions of the other person, we will never get to know the individual. Instead we will appear to be saying to him or her that we actually want to avoid intimacy; we don't care to know the person; we are only interested in ourselves. Or, in a deeper sense, we are saying that we are afraid of intimacy. We are afraid of the demands that might be made, the truths that might be uttered, the expectations the person might have of us. The same can be said about our relationship with the LORD."
Page 94 - 95
"To pray, I think, does not mean to think about God in contrast to thinking about other things, or to spend time with God instead of spending time with other people. Rather, it means to think and live in the presence of God. As soon as we begin to divide our thoughts into thoughts about God and thoughts about people and events, we remove God from our daily life and put him in a pious little niche where we can think pious thoughts and experience pious feelings. Although it is important and even indispensable for the spiritual life to set apart time for God and God alone, prayer can only become unceasing prayer when all our thoughts—beautiful or ugly, high or low, proud or shameful, sorrowful or joyful—can be thought in the presence of God.
–Henri J.M. Nouwen"
Page 97
"Prayer then helps to maintain clarity. It encourages us to see ourselves for who we are, as well as to be happy with the dependence we have on God. It helps us to see the attitude of compassion for what it is, and avoid the pitfalls inherent in helping others for what we can get out of it rather than for the gentle experience it can produce in others and ourselves. Finally, prayer can help us resist imaging idols rather than God and making more of the joys of life than we ought."
Page 102
January 23, 2016
This is an excellent book guiding the reader into an understanding of being present and available to God and to others as well as to self.
This is a delightful book that I have marked and taken notes in and will use for many years b
This is a delightful book that I have marked and taken notes in and will use for many years b
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews