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How To Be A Vigilante: A Diary
FROM THE AUTHOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER THE STONE MAN, SHORTLISTED FOR AUDIBLE UK'S BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD 2015
In the late 1990s, a laptop was found in a service station just outside of Manchester. It contained a digital journal entitled 'TO THE FINDER: OPEN NOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!' Now, for the first time, that infamous diary is being published in its entirety.
It's 1998. The internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen year old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante.
There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget? And will his history of blackouts and crippling social inadequacy affect his chances? This is Nigel's account of his journey; part diary, part deluded self-help manual, tragically comic and slowly descending into what is arguably Luke Smitherd's darkest and most violent novel.
In the late 1990s, a laptop was found in a service station just outside of Manchester. It contained a digital journal entitled 'TO THE FINDER: OPEN NOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!' Now, for the first time, that infamous diary is being published in its entirety.
It's 1998. The internet age is still in its infancy. Google has just been founded. Eighteen year old supermarket shelf-stacker Nigel Carmelite has decided that he's going to become a vigilante.
There are a few problems: how is he going to even find crime to fight on the streets of Derbyshire? How will he create a superhero costume - and an arsenal of crime-fighting weaponry - on a shoestring budget? And will his history of blackouts and crippling social inadequacy affect his chances? This is Nigel's account of his journey; part diary, part deluded self-help manual, tragically comic and slowly descending into what is arguably Luke Smitherd's darkest and most violent novel.
7 pages, Audible Audio
Published September 14, 2016
62 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
About the author
Luke Smitherd
32 books594 followersLuke Smitherd is the author of The Stone Man (shortlisted for Audible Book of the Year 2015) and its sequels as well as several other novels. A former singer and guitarist, he now writes full time, hosts the comedy music-discussion show Cracker Juice, and performs around Los Angeles as a stand-up comic. He divides his time between the United States and the United Kingdom.
www.lukesmitherd.com
www.lukesmitherd.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
December 31, 2022
This is a strange tale, a very strange tale. I'd rather got used to Luke Smitherd’s slanted view of the world – his stories are dark, a little creepy but with some humour thrown in too. But this one was… different. Nigel Carmelite, a supermarket shelf stacker, has written a digital journal. It tells of his quest to become a superhero, a vigilante who will spot trouble, rush to the aid of victims and sort out the bad guys. It documents his progress as he sets out on his own personal journey. Nigel’s laptop had been abandoned at a service station near Manchester and it is clear that Nigel had hoped that his journal would prove to be an inspiration to others with similar aspirations. The story unfolds through the journal entries.
A skinny boy with no experience of fighting, Nigel identifies that he’ll need some training and equipment. We witness the slightly odd way he sets about ticking these particular boxes. He begins to gather together the kit he needs and confidently sets about learning some combat skills. It’s clear that in his own mind this is more than just a pipe dream for him – he’s absolutely determined to achieve his goal.
Throughout this early section, which sometimes veers dangerously close to slapstick, I kept wondering what it was that was driving him. Living at home with his mother and a younger brother (there is no sign of a father) it becomes clear that Nigel is not overly comfortable in social situations – really, a bit of a loner at heart. In fact, the whole thing is pretty uncomfortable. His accounts of encounters with just about everyone are awkward and painful to witness.
By about two thirds of the way through I was tiring of the whole thing, then it took a darker turn. I suppose I knew it was coming and it did explain some of what had gone before, but it didn't really transform this book for me. I just couldn't warm to Nigel or his plight and the whole thing felt too fanciful, too unbelievable.
I still think Smitherd's is a talent and every author is entitled to one duffer – I think this one is his.
A skinny boy with no experience of fighting, Nigel identifies that he’ll need some training and equipment. We witness the slightly odd way he sets about ticking these particular boxes. He begins to gather together the kit he needs and confidently sets about learning some combat skills. It’s clear that in his own mind this is more than just a pipe dream for him – he’s absolutely determined to achieve his goal.
Throughout this early section, which sometimes veers dangerously close to slapstick, I kept wondering what it was that was driving him. Living at home with his mother and a younger brother (there is no sign of a father) it becomes clear that Nigel is not overly comfortable in social situations – really, a bit of a loner at heart. In fact, the whole thing is pretty uncomfortable. His accounts of encounters with just about everyone are awkward and painful to witness.
By about two thirds of the way through I was tiring of the whole thing, then it took a darker turn. I suppose I knew it was coming and it did explain some of what had gone before, but it didn't really transform this book for me. I just couldn't warm to Nigel or his plight and the whole thing felt too fanciful, too unbelievable.
I still think Smitherd's is a talent and every author is entitled to one duffer – I think this one is his.
December 30, 2016
So, please note: immediately after finishing this book, I was stunned into silence for a good few minutes or so. Why? Because, in all honestly, it’s a book like nothing I have read before. The latter half of the book genuinely shocked me.
But first, let’s start at the beginning. It’s Thursday August 6th 1998 and Nigel begins writing his diary on his laptop (These newfangled laptop computers in the home, in 1998?!). He begins to outline the why’s and the wherefore’s of his diary, which is ‘to show you how I think… so you can know that I was an ordinary person like you’. There, my interest is suddenly piqued – ‘was’ an ordinary person? What’s happened? What will happen? Has he unintentionally predicted his future?
It’s clear from then on I’m going to go on a journey with Nigel. But where will it take me, why is he going, and will I actually like him? I can safely answer the last question – not particularly. He’s not pure evil, but his narration, despite leaving in the mistakes, is highly unreliable. He thinks a lot of himself and his abilities, which becomes more obvious as he begins to go to gym – all kitted out, of course – to build his strength; he’s furious that his trainer, Rob, won’t up the weight so does it himself and leaves feeling very sore indeed. Classic case of ‘all the gear and no idea’. Worse, he convinces himself this pain is good. It’s given him motivation to prove a point.
As it continues, this ‘all the gear…’ idea gets even more prominent as he joins Aikido classes – again frustrated with the class leader, for not showing him all the moves, ignoring the fact that it takes time to learn a martial art from scratch. Nigel’s attitude here is laughable; every time he complains about the slow speed of progress, he becomes physically weaker and skinnier in my mind. Smitherd does make Nigel’s narration very funny indeed.
Regardless, he carries on with his training, documenting his ‘progress’, training plans and goals in his diary. The purpose of the training? To roam the streets and save innocent people from bullies. Or, put simply, become a superhero. Wear the ‘gear’ and have some ‘idea’. He takes real pleasure in creating his superhero costume, revelling in the power to construct this new identity, complete with a new name – he settles on the fear-inducing ‘The Night Man’ (!). As he says, he wants to lose his human identity in this new role: ‘I will be not just a vigilante, but a symbol… I will be a superhero’. He wants to lose himself, geeky, lonely, skinny supermarket worker Nigel, wondering ‘if I will eventually become someone else when I put the costume on’.
At this point, he also makes his first connection with his so far absent father, wearing a leather coat that used to belong to him. This right of passage of sorts means a lot to him: ‘I would be going into my war wearing my FATHER’S COAT. The costume, the garb of my mission belonged to my father before me!’
As it turns out, though, this new identity isn’t really far removed from the real Nigel at all. He does witness a few nasty incidents at night, and manages to attack with his ‘Man Marker’ spray and nightsticks, but ultimately he is left badly injured each time, unable to truly defend himself. This is something that slowly dawns on Nigel himself.
Going back to the reference to his father, we learn quite late in that his father is absent because he’s in prison, for killing a little boy in a hit-and-run accident years ago. As Nigel’s story progresses, it becomes painfully clear that he is damaged by this and ashamed of his father’s actions. It’s an extraordinary family history and one that Nigel’s creation of the Night Man showed that he didn’t want to repeat. He wanted to cultivate something positive from his own experiences and make amends for the mistakes of his father.
Then, CRASH! We’re about three-quarters through the book and How To Be A Vigilante becomes a whole new book. Things pick up a pace and take an unexpectedly sinister turn as Nigel introduces his 11-year-old brother, David, to the streets with him. Even thinking about bringing an 11-year-old along made me feel uncomfortable, knowing Nigel’s poor track record. The reality was much, much worse. History does repeat itself as David gets caught up in an attack. I really, really don’t want to spoil this sensational ending, but how Nigel deals with the fallout is horrific, shocking and calculating. I really must leave it there!
If you want something that will make you question what it is to be human, and will make you actually gasp and wince, then I’d definitely give How To Be A Vigilante a read! It is slow to start, and you have to rely on a voice that’s really not that likeable, but once you learn about Nigel’s family history, it all starts to make sense…
Reviewed by Abby at www.whisperingstories.com
But first, let’s start at the beginning. It’s Thursday August 6th 1998 and Nigel begins writing his diary on his laptop (These newfangled laptop computers in the home, in 1998?!). He begins to outline the why’s and the wherefore’s of his diary, which is ‘to show you how I think… so you can know that I was an ordinary person like you’. There, my interest is suddenly piqued – ‘was’ an ordinary person? What’s happened? What will happen? Has he unintentionally predicted his future?
It’s clear from then on I’m going to go on a journey with Nigel. But where will it take me, why is he going, and will I actually like him? I can safely answer the last question – not particularly. He’s not pure evil, but his narration, despite leaving in the mistakes, is highly unreliable. He thinks a lot of himself and his abilities, which becomes more obvious as he begins to go to gym – all kitted out, of course – to build his strength; he’s furious that his trainer, Rob, won’t up the weight so does it himself and leaves feeling very sore indeed. Classic case of ‘all the gear and no idea’. Worse, he convinces himself this pain is good. It’s given him motivation to prove a point.
As it continues, this ‘all the gear…’ idea gets even more prominent as he joins Aikido classes – again frustrated with the class leader, for not showing him all the moves, ignoring the fact that it takes time to learn a martial art from scratch. Nigel’s attitude here is laughable; every time he complains about the slow speed of progress, he becomes physically weaker and skinnier in my mind. Smitherd does make Nigel’s narration very funny indeed.
Regardless, he carries on with his training, documenting his ‘progress’, training plans and goals in his diary. The purpose of the training? To roam the streets and save innocent people from bullies. Or, put simply, become a superhero. Wear the ‘gear’ and have some ‘idea’. He takes real pleasure in creating his superhero costume, revelling in the power to construct this new identity, complete with a new name – he settles on the fear-inducing ‘The Night Man’ (!). As he says, he wants to lose his human identity in this new role: ‘I will be not just a vigilante, but a symbol… I will be a superhero’. He wants to lose himself, geeky, lonely, skinny supermarket worker Nigel, wondering ‘if I will eventually become someone else when I put the costume on’.
At this point, he also makes his first connection with his so far absent father, wearing a leather coat that used to belong to him. This right of passage of sorts means a lot to him: ‘I would be going into my war wearing my FATHER’S COAT. The costume, the garb of my mission belonged to my father before me!’
As it turns out, though, this new identity isn’t really far removed from the real Nigel at all. He does witness a few nasty incidents at night, and manages to attack with his ‘Man Marker’ spray and nightsticks, but ultimately he is left badly injured each time, unable to truly defend himself. This is something that slowly dawns on Nigel himself.
Going back to the reference to his father, we learn quite late in that his father is absent because he’s in prison, for killing a little boy in a hit-and-run accident years ago. As Nigel’s story progresses, it becomes painfully clear that he is damaged by this and ashamed of his father’s actions. It’s an extraordinary family history and one that Nigel’s creation of the Night Man showed that he didn’t want to repeat. He wanted to cultivate something positive from his own experiences and make amends for the mistakes of his father.
Then, CRASH! We’re about three-quarters through the book and How To Be A Vigilante becomes a whole new book. Things pick up a pace and take an unexpectedly sinister turn as Nigel introduces his 11-year-old brother, David, to the streets with him. Even thinking about bringing an 11-year-old along made me feel uncomfortable, knowing Nigel’s poor track record. The reality was much, much worse. History does repeat itself as David gets caught up in an attack. I really, really don’t want to spoil this sensational ending, but how Nigel deals with the fallout is horrific, shocking and calculating. I really must leave it there!
If you want something that will make you question what it is to be human, and will make you actually gasp and wince, then I’d definitely give How To Be A Vigilante a read! It is slow to start, and you have to rely on a voice that’s really not that likeable, but once you learn about Nigel’s family history, it all starts to make sense…
Reviewed by Abby at www.whisperingstories.com
September 14, 2016
Regular readers of Luke Smitherd may find themselves checking the cover of this book to make sure he actually wrote it because it is unlike any of his other works. First, there is nothing paranormal or supernatural about it; second, it is laugh-out-loud funny at some points; and, finally, the main character is a disturbed teenage boy who wants to become the world’s first “real” superhero.
Nigel Carmelite is an eighteen-year-old boy who hasn’t had an easy life. There are allusions to problems in his past, but most of them are barely mentioned (although there is a very sad story about a boy and his bike) and their impacts on Nigel’s life are left to the reader to determine. We learn about his current life: he works in a supermarket; he is a loner, mostly because he doesn’t know how to interact with other people; he has a crush on a girl at work; and he is keeping a diary to record his journey from “normal” guy to superhero so that others can learn from him and follow in his footsteps. He believes this is his destiny.
But Nigel isn’t a “normal” person, whatever “normal” is supposed to mean in his world or ours. He is damaged. The circumstances of his early years took their toll on him and he never received the help he needed. He created his own world where he was the good guy and he was the guy who was always right. He couldn’t exist any other way because “normal” life hurt too much. If Nigel lived in the US, he is the type of person who would shoot up a public place and then turn the gun on himself, and later, people would say he was “quiet” and “always did his job” but was difficult to get to know because he was so ill-at-ease around others.
Some people have commented that their dislike of Nigel hurt their ability to enjoy the book fully. That is unfortunate. If all a person does is read the words on the page, Nigel is a jerk. He writes with disdain about most other people he knows. If you read between the lines, however, you can see he insults others because he thinks they are getting in the way of him fulfilling his destiny.
He also knows the rest of the world sees him as a loser, if they even notice he exists, but he rarely lets himself acknowledge that reality. You can see this in a few diary entries where he talks about how stupid he is (quite vehemently), but he always comes back to blaming other people for his troubles. He HAS to be right or he can’t be the superhero. By putting down everyone else, he is building himself up into the person he believes he really is.
The book is very well-written. Nigel is a person you can empathize with because there is a small part of him in all of us. Yes, it is humorous in many places, but there are also moments that may leave you in tears. The most impressive thing, however, is how incidents in Nigel’s life are shown to repeat themselves (in different contexts), forming patterns that turned him into the person he is. Some of these are obvious, but others are very subtle so the readers are left to discover them and determine for themselves how they impacted Nigel. That is not an easy thing for an author to do, but here, it is done beautifully.
This book covers a very short time period in Nigel’s life, but by the end, we know everything we need to know about him and why he needs to be a superhero—because he does need it. He may come across as a jerk at first, but that is just covering up his insecurities and lack of self-worth. His diary is funny because he is so earnest about the things he is writing, even though they are preposterous. Nigel could never comprehend that we are laughing AT him, not with him. The only way he knows to make his life worth something is to become a superhero, which, ultimately, is the saddest part of the story and leads to unintended, heartbreaking consequences.
If you don’t fully appreciate the brilliance of this book at first (I didn’t), read it again. You will catch things you missed the first time and will, hopefully, fully appreciate the skill that went into crafting it. There are too many Nigel Carmelite’s out there. Most don’t try to become superheroes; most live their lives quietly and alone and we never know they exist. That is the true message we should learn from this book.
There are Nigels all over, but most of us are too caught up in our own daily lives to see them or attempt to help them. Maybe we should try a little bit more. Maybe we’re too busy to see their hands desperately reaching out to us or maybe they’ve given up. Nigel is virtually screaming for help throughout this book. No one hears him or maybe they are too busy laughing at him to notice. So, in the only way he knows, he resorts to helping himself. He adapts to the circumstances of his world—and loses so much in the process.
Nigel Carmelite is an eighteen-year-old boy who hasn’t had an easy life. There are allusions to problems in his past, but most of them are barely mentioned (although there is a very sad story about a boy and his bike) and their impacts on Nigel’s life are left to the reader to determine. We learn about his current life: he works in a supermarket; he is a loner, mostly because he doesn’t know how to interact with other people; he has a crush on a girl at work; and he is keeping a diary to record his journey from “normal” guy to superhero so that others can learn from him and follow in his footsteps. He believes this is his destiny.
But Nigel isn’t a “normal” person, whatever “normal” is supposed to mean in his world or ours. He is damaged. The circumstances of his early years took their toll on him and he never received the help he needed. He created his own world where he was the good guy and he was the guy who was always right. He couldn’t exist any other way because “normal” life hurt too much. If Nigel lived in the US, he is the type of person who would shoot up a public place and then turn the gun on himself, and later, people would say he was “quiet” and “always did his job” but was difficult to get to know because he was so ill-at-ease around others.
Some people have commented that their dislike of Nigel hurt their ability to enjoy the book fully. That is unfortunate. If all a person does is read the words on the page, Nigel is a jerk. He writes with disdain about most other people he knows. If you read between the lines, however, you can see he insults others because he thinks they are getting in the way of him fulfilling his destiny.
He also knows the rest of the world sees him as a loser, if they even notice he exists, but he rarely lets himself acknowledge that reality. You can see this in a few diary entries where he talks about how stupid he is (quite vehemently), but he always comes back to blaming other people for his troubles. He HAS to be right or he can’t be the superhero. By putting down everyone else, he is building himself up into the person he believes he really is.
The book is very well-written. Nigel is a person you can empathize with because there is a small part of him in all of us. Yes, it is humorous in many places, but there are also moments that may leave you in tears. The most impressive thing, however, is how incidents in Nigel’s life are shown to repeat themselves (in different contexts), forming patterns that turned him into the person he is. Some of these are obvious, but others are very subtle so the readers are left to discover them and determine for themselves how they impacted Nigel. That is not an easy thing for an author to do, but here, it is done beautifully.
This book covers a very short time period in Nigel’s life, but by the end, we know everything we need to know about him and why he needs to be a superhero—because he does need it. He may come across as a jerk at first, but that is just covering up his insecurities and lack of self-worth. His diary is funny because he is so earnest about the things he is writing, even though they are preposterous. Nigel could never comprehend that we are laughing AT him, not with him. The only way he knows to make his life worth something is to become a superhero, which, ultimately, is the saddest part of the story and leads to unintended, heartbreaking consequences.
If you don’t fully appreciate the brilliance of this book at first (I didn’t), read it again. You will catch things you missed the first time and will, hopefully, fully appreciate the skill that went into crafting it. There are too many Nigel Carmelite’s out there. Most don’t try to become superheroes; most live their lives quietly and alone and we never know they exist. That is the true message we should learn from this book.
There are Nigels all over, but most of us are too caught up in our own daily lives to see them or attempt to help them. Maybe we should try a little bit more. Maybe we’re too busy to see their hands desperately reaching out to us or maybe they’ve given up. Nigel is virtually screaming for help throughout this book. No one hears him or maybe they are too busy laughing at him to notice. So, in the only way he knows, he resorts to helping himself. He adapts to the circumstances of his world—and loses so much in the process.
October 8, 2019
Thoughts to come
Book club read
Book club read
February 5, 2017
Really good book. A kind of mix between 'The Wasp Factory', 'Kick Ass' and 'Adrian Mole'. Definitely going to pick up others by this guy.
February 1, 2024
What a dweeb.
February 2, 2017
I received a free copy of How To Be A Vigilante in exchange for an honest review.
I thought this came across a bit manic as there were words emphasised in CAPITAL LETTERS and some in italics. This was however, by the very fact of it being a diary entry in which the writer intended for someone else to find it, a very good example of a piece of writing breaking the fourth wall. Breaking the fourth wall is becoming common in films (such as Deadpool) in which the character or characters know they are in a film and communicates directly with the audience. The fact that Nigel intended his diary to be found meant he was able to directly communicate with the reader, which is in contrast to usual diary writings, which are usually private with the author not intending them to be read.
I didn't warm to Nigel at all which meant I lacked a connection with the book and made it difficult to want to continue reading. My main aim for reading to the end was to hope Nigel got his comeuppance for being (in my opinion) a thoroughly horrid character.
This would appeal to people who like films which feature vigilantes, such as Kick-Ass and possibly even Deadpool, but personally wasn’t for me.
I thought this came across a bit manic as there were words emphasised in CAPITAL LETTERS and some in italics. This was however, by the very fact of it being a diary entry in which the writer intended for someone else to find it, a very good example of a piece of writing breaking the fourth wall. Breaking the fourth wall is becoming common in films (such as Deadpool) in which the character or characters know they are in a film and communicates directly with the audience. The fact that Nigel intended his diary to be found meant he was able to directly communicate with the reader, which is in contrast to usual diary writings, which are usually private with the author not intending them to be read.
I didn't warm to Nigel at all which meant I lacked a connection with the book and made it difficult to want to continue reading. My main aim for reading to the end was to hope Nigel got his comeuppance for being (in my opinion) a thoroughly horrid character.
This would appeal to people who like films which feature vigilantes, such as Kick-Ass and possibly even Deadpool, but personally wasn’t for me.
August 20, 2017
Don't know what category to shelve this one in other than "favorites"! This self published book is absolutely brilliant!!
Sort of Adrian Mole meets The Catcher in the Rye. In the afterword on the audio version, the author says it is like a more true to life version of the movie Kickass, though the book was written years before the movie.
It is the story of Nigel, a shelf stacker from Derdy, who is possibly mildly autistic or is at least a social misfit. It moves seamlessly from side splitting comedy to gut wrenching pathos. Nigel is the narrator of this tale so it seems fitting that Smithard reads the audio book. It's one of those cases where the author brings an extra dimension to the reading.
This was Luke Smitherd first novel although it's about the 5th in publishing order. Anyway it seems fitting that it should his first book that I read as my introduction to him.
Sort of Adrian Mole meets The Catcher in the Rye. In the afterword on the audio version, the author says it is like a more true to life version of the movie Kickass, though the book was written years before the movie.
It is the story of Nigel, a shelf stacker from Derdy, who is possibly mildly autistic or is at least a social misfit. It moves seamlessly from side splitting comedy to gut wrenching pathos. Nigel is the narrator of this tale so it seems fitting that Smithard reads the audio book. It's one of those cases where the author brings an extra dimension to the reading.
This was Luke Smitherd first novel although it's about the 5th in publishing order. Anyway it seems fitting that it should his first book that I read as my introduction to him.
September 22, 2017
Sorry. A lot of people love this book according to the reviews but I must be missing something.
Its ok but hardly enthralling. A largely unsympathetic and unlikeable character becomes a pretty pathetic vigilante and his attempt at self-esteem ends in tragedy and further violence.
I was largely unmoved even by this, just slightly angry at the character for causing it, then I flicked the pages on, thinking there is enough to get angry at in the real world than a shallow novel which was written ok, in an unusual style, but which failed to grab or enthrall me.
My criticism is probably a reflection of myself as so many other people give it five stars but it wont live long in my memory, or make me thirst for more.
Its ok but hardly enthralling. A largely unsympathetic and unlikeable character becomes a pretty pathetic vigilante and his attempt at self-esteem ends in tragedy and further violence.
I was largely unmoved even by this, just slightly angry at the character for causing it, then I flicked the pages on, thinking there is enough to get angry at in the real world than a shallow novel which was written ok, in an unusual style, but which failed to grab or enthrall me.
My criticism is probably a reflection of myself as so many other people give it five stars but it wont live long in my memory, or make me thirst for more.
August 26, 2017
Started this a few days ago and just can't do it
July 24, 2017
Another interesting book from the wonderful Luke Smitherd, who is officially my new favourite author. I didn't like this one as much as his other books but that is because they are so very good not because this one wasn't good, if that makes sense. That said, I still found it very engaging and now it's finished I'm left with a void. I do have more of Luke's books to read but I like to ration them!
July 31, 2017
If you're expecting a "kick ass" copy, you are wrong.
SOOOOO wrong.
The psychological and emotional turns blew my mind!
SOOOOO wrong.
The psychological and emotional turns blew my mind!
September 30, 2016
Short Take: A Confederacy of Dunces, rewritten as a nightmare.
(Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.)
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into here. Yes, I read and reviewed one of Mr. Smitherd’s books a while back, and despite its occasional warts, I enjoyed it immensely. Mentally, I filed him as an author of sci-fi/horror, who amused me a bit, and went on my merry way. This book, however, was nothing like his other work.
The plot is pretty simple, and timely with the current glut of superheroes in the entertainment world. Nigel Carmelite has a life that is astounding in how perfectly ordinary it is. He’s eighteen years old, works in a grocery store, and lives with his mother and brother in a medium sized town in England. What sets him apart, however, is his determination to become the next Batman. The fact that he is physically substandard and mentally not quite all there won’t slow him down.
This book is his diary of everything he does in his quest, including designing his costume, choosing a superhero name, joining a gym and martial arts class, going on a date, and of course, all of his crime-fighting activities.
When I received an email giving me an overview of Vigilante, the description included "Psychological Thriller/Horror" or "Suspense and Mystery”, which of course, is right up my alley.
So there I was, twenty-something chapters in, completely gobsmacked and befuddled that I seemed to be re-reading A Confederacy of Dunces. There were no supernatural shenanigans, no otherworldly oddities in sight. Now, don’t get me wrong, Dunces is a classic for a reason, and Nigel perfectly channels Ignatius J. Reilly in his inflated opinion of his own abilities, and his weird conflicted relationship with his mother. It was hilarious. But seriously, where was the horror?
I almost wish I hadn’t asked.
See, it was around the 30 chapter mark that Vigilante started to dip down into some kind-of worrying depths. Nigel really really really wants to do the right thing. He wants justice for the little guy, for everyone who’s ever been bullied or victimized in some way to know that they have a protector. But eventually, it becomes clear that Nigel doesn’t have a clear understanding of either his own limitations, and grasps even less of the world around him, that his own personal road to hell could be paved and with the very best intentions.
And around the 45-chapter mark, I started to dread where this was going. I seriously did not want to finish it. Not because the book was bad, no, because it was so realistic that I could feel the tension in the pit of my stomach. I had a few ideas of what might happen, but I was wrong. The ending was far more traumatizing than anything I could’ve thought up.
Vigilante isn’t for everyone. The first half is a slow burn, and Nigel is a compulsive over-sharer. The endless details of his preparation to venture into the gritty streets, at times, were mind-numbing. I get that it’s the character, and the obsessive attention to detail is because he thinks he’s writing to the massive audience he’ll have one day. He believes that his journal will inspire as well as teach others to follow in his footsteps; therefore, every detail is important. Like I said, I get it, but there were spots that felt repetitive and monotonous. Then again, the lulling effects of all these minutiae made it all the more devastating when the author decided to yank the rug out from under me.
But for all that, there were far more great parts. Despite the rising tension, the cultural differences in the USA and UK made for some fun moments for me. Like, the name Nigel. Seriously, is there like a law in the UK that 40% of male babies have to be named either Nigel or Simon? And the fact that Nigel doesn’t need a bulletproof vest, because the UK criminals don’t have guns. What? That might be enough to make this pacifist nerd overlook the weird food over there.
I definitely recommend this book, but be warned! The Night Man doesn't play around.
The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and some gaffa tape, for all your crime-fighting needs!)
(Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.)
I wasn’t sure what I was getting into here. Yes, I read and reviewed one of Mr. Smitherd’s books a while back, and despite its occasional warts, I enjoyed it immensely. Mentally, I filed him as an author of sci-fi/horror, who amused me a bit, and went on my merry way. This book, however, was nothing like his other work.
The plot is pretty simple, and timely with the current glut of superheroes in the entertainment world. Nigel Carmelite has a life that is astounding in how perfectly ordinary it is. He’s eighteen years old, works in a grocery store, and lives with his mother and brother in a medium sized town in England. What sets him apart, however, is his determination to become the next Batman. The fact that he is physically substandard and mentally not quite all there won’t slow him down.
This book is his diary of everything he does in his quest, including designing his costume, choosing a superhero name, joining a gym and martial arts class, going on a date, and of course, all of his crime-fighting activities.
When I received an email giving me an overview of Vigilante, the description included "Psychological Thriller/Horror" or "Suspense and Mystery”, which of course, is right up my alley.
So there I was, twenty-something chapters in, completely gobsmacked and befuddled that I seemed to be re-reading A Confederacy of Dunces. There were no supernatural shenanigans, no otherworldly oddities in sight. Now, don’t get me wrong, Dunces is a classic for a reason, and Nigel perfectly channels Ignatius J. Reilly in his inflated opinion of his own abilities, and his weird conflicted relationship with his mother. It was hilarious. But seriously, where was the horror?
I almost wish I hadn’t asked.
See, it was around the 30 chapter mark that Vigilante started to dip down into some kind-of worrying depths. Nigel really really really wants to do the right thing. He wants justice for the little guy, for everyone who’s ever been bullied or victimized in some way to know that they have a protector. But eventually, it becomes clear that Nigel doesn’t have a clear understanding of either his own limitations, and grasps even less of the world around him, that his own personal road to hell could be paved and with the very best intentions.
And around the 45-chapter mark, I started to dread where this was going. I seriously did not want to finish it. Not because the book was bad, no, because it was so realistic that I could feel the tension in the pit of my stomach. I had a few ideas of what might happen, but I was wrong. The ending was far more traumatizing than anything I could’ve thought up.
Vigilante isn’t for everyone. The first half is a slow burn, and Nigel is a compulsive over-sharer. The endless details of his preparation to venture into the gritty streets, at times, were mind-numbing. I get that it’s the character, and the obsessive attention to detail is because he thinks he’s writing to the massive audience he’ll have one day. He believes that his journal will inspire as well as teach others to follow in his footsteps; therefore, every detail is important. Like I said, I get it, but there were spots that felt repetitive and monotonous. Then again, the lulling effects of all these minutiae made it all the more devastating when the author decided to yank the rug out from under me.
But for all that, there were far more great parts. Despite the rising tension, the cultural differences in the USA and UK made for some fun moments for me. Like, the name Nigel. Seriously, is there like a law in the UK that 40% of male babies have to be named either Nigel or Simon? And the fact that Nigel doesn’t need a bulletproof vest, because the UK criminals don’t have guns. What? That might be enough to make this pacifist nerd overlook the weird food over there.
I definitely recommend this book, but be warned! The Night Man doesn't play around.
The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and some gaffa tape, for all your crime-fighting needs!)
Read
February 21, 2017I don't feel comfortable rating and reviewing this due to the way this finishes. This book starts off silly and fun but heads down a very sister path. There is a lot of violence in this book so make sure you're comfortable with that before reading.
September 14, 2016
How to be a Vigilante: A Diary is the latest offering from Luke Smitherd.
It’s gritty; it’s dark; and terribly, realistically painful.
How to be a Vigilante: A Diary takes us by the hand and, through periodic diary entries by the unassuming, mild-mannered Nigel Carmelite, reveals the harsh and oft painful reality of an aspiring vigilante superhero.
Driven by passion and his own, slightly skewed form of rationalised thinking, Nigel dives head first in pursuit of his life as a vigilante. He decides that, as a how-to guide for anyone reading, he would record his successes along with his failures in a diary typed up on his mum’s laptop. Better for anyone wishing to follow in his footsteps to have a guide, than to venture blindly as he did.
As such, we see events through Nigel’s eyes, but with the gift of hindsight as he writes as objectively as possible. He is honest, his heart is in the right place, and he certainly has several worthwhile lessons to teach his future readers. The conversational tone of this book works especially well, allowing us to connect with Nigel and his experiences, while also benefiting from his evaluations as he goes. His dedication to his vigilante project, and to the diary itself, speak volumes about his character, even as things take a turn for the worse.
Tragedy marks every comic book hero I can think of, yet knowing this does little to soften the blow when it comes; the events of one night which bring Nigel’s venture—and his entire life—into question.
Once again, Luke’s writing is an absolute pleasure to read, and this is definitely a book I’ll be recommending.
I received a free, advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest, impartial review.
It’s gritty; it’s dark; and terribly, realistically painful.
How to be a Vigilante: A Diary takes us by the hand and, through periodic diary entries by the unassuming, mild-mannered Nigel Carmelite, reveals the harsh and oft painful reality of an aspiring vigilante superhero.
Driven by passion and his own, slightly skewed form of rationalised thinking, Nigel dives head first in pursuit of his life as a vigilante. He decides that, as a how-to guide for anyone reading, he would record his successes along with his failures in a diary typed up on his mum’s laptop. Better for anyone wishing to follow in his footsteps to have a guide, than to venture blindly as he did.
As such, we see events through Nigel’s eyes, but with the gift of hindsight as he writes as objectively as possible. He is honest, his heart is in the right place, and he certainly has several worthwhile lessons to teach his future readers. The conversational tone of this book works especially well, allowing us to connect with Nigel and his experiences, while also benefiting from his evaluations as he goes. His dedication to his vigilante project, and to the diary itself, speak volumes about his character, even as things take a turn for the worse.
Tragedy marks every comic book hero I can think of, yet knowing this does little to soften the blow when it comes; the events of one night which bring Nigel’s venture—and his entire life—into question.
Once again, Luke’s writing is an absolute pleasure to read, and this is definitely a book I’ll be recommending.
I received a free, advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest, impartial review.
October 12, 2016
Another excellent book from an excellent writer. Luke smitherd has become one of my favourite authors. He has a great talent and I can't wait for his next book. The audio version is very well narrated by the man himself.
July 26, 2022
SPOILERS SPOILERS. This book is so so. As with previous books of this author there is a noticeable number of grammar and narrative mistakes (e.g characters change gender and/or name mid dialogue, pronouns are left out) which do detract from the story as you have to interrupt your train of thought to correct the story.
This is marketed as a found diary with the author still at large and it’s inferred the authorities have only just given permission for details to be released.
The plot is that a stereotypical, socially awkward, comic reading loner decides to become a vigilante strongly resembling Batman dubbed the Night man. His encounters with crime start as amusing, becoming more violent ending with the final lethal encounter.
It’s well written in that the delusional main character spins every setback as being part of the plan, and that he knows better than those who run the classes he attends to become a superhero (gym and aikido instructors). The chapter written when drunk is particularly amusing.
In his standard lengthy afterword the author is at pains to point out that the first draft of the original story was written before the film ‘Kick ass’ was released. The reason for the delay being a story to rival the actual one; a friend had a paper copy in Geneva but had moved house and couldn’t get the draft and then something about a digital copy being in the wrong format, coupled with the author’s initial lack of belief that he could do it justice.
He must be kicking himself that he wasn’t able to get it finished earlier. Though Kick ass is a far better plot than this.
This is marketed as a found diary with the author still at large and it’s inferred the authorities have only just given permission for details to be released.
The plot is that a stereotypical, socially awkward, comic reading loner decides to become a vigilante strongly resembling Batman dubbed the Night man. His encounters with crime start as amusing, becoming more violent ending with the final lethal encounter.
It’s well written in that the delusional main character spins every setback as being part of the plan, and that he knows better than those who run the classes he attends to become a superhero (gym and aikido instructors). The chapter written when drunk is particularly amusing.
In his standard lengthy afterword the author is at pains to point out that the first draft of the original story was written before the film ‘Kick ass’ was released. The reason for the delay being a story to rival the actual one; a friend had a paper copy in Geneva but had moved house and couldn’t get the draft and then something about a digital copy being in the wrong format, coupled with the author’s initial lack of belief that he could do it justice.
He must be kicking himself that he wasn’t able to get it finished earlier. Though Kick ass is a far better plot than this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 26, 2018
Brilliant, original
Another great book from Luke. You never know what to expect with his stories...and I'm pleased to say this one is the same...You THINK you know where this is going but then you are wrong...so you read a bit more and again you think, yes, I know where this is going ...and then there's a twist here a turn there and you are once more adrift from your thinking...it's great fun! It's like being beaten up by Mike Tyson ..who every so often very tenderly picks you up, brushes you down and offers you a nice drink and a chat ...only to be BAM on the deck again with him trying to gouge your eyes out and shouting at you!.........probably not the most useful review, sorry...but hey i really liked the book and pretty much everything he writes so yeah 5 stars..enjoy!
Another great book from Luke. You never know what to expect with his stories...and I'm pleased to say this one is the same...You THINK you know where this is going but then you are wrong...so you read a bit more and again you think, yes, I know where this is going ...and then there's a twist here a turn there and you are once more adrift from your thinking...it's great fun! It's like being beaten up by Mike Tyson ..who every so often very tenderly picks you up, brushes you down and offers you a nice drink and a chat ...only to be BAM on the deck again with him trying to gouge your eyes out and shouting at you!.........probably not the most useful review, sorry...but hey i really liked the book and pretty much everything he writes so yeah 5 stars..enjoy!
June 23, 2017
Many of us wanted to be a superhero, but Nigel managed to do so and found out the hard way that this was probably not a good idea. Set in 1998, Nigel is writing this book as sort of a blog entry about his journey to becoming a vigilante. There are no powers and there are no villains. It's set in an incredibly realistic world that doesn't hold back in all the side effects of the lifestyle. Immediately, things like Dr. Horrible and Kick-Ass come into your mind, but this book was written long before. However, if you do like those stories, you just might like this book too. I personally enjoyed reading it and watching Nigel's mild insanity leading up to an ending I didn't see coming. This is a bit more messed up than I thought it was going to be, so that's just a simple warning.
February 22, 2019
My first comment is this book is very very slow to start. I’ve never read any book by Luke smitherd in the past and by other comments this is not his normal style but I don’t think he should stick to it. And as he says himself “ if novels were movies this is an indie film”. Tho I did find the back story parts with Nigel’s dad interesting and the delusional way nigel views events that happen to him, I just found the first parts of the book a slog to get through. It wasn’t till about almost 3/4s in that the book becomes interesting. But by this last 1/4 I did understand why the rest was slow because it makes the end hit you harder. I did come away impressed it’s just a shame I had to fight to get there.
February 5, 2018
This had such potential...
I hated this book. Honestly, I should have quit reading it early on but I hate giving up on books and thought it would get better. There is nothing redeemable about the narrator/main character Nigel. He's an odd mix of mentally disturbed and the toxic masculinity of modern culture. It may have been worth one more star with an epilogue explaining what ended up happening but where things were left was awful. Honestly doesn't really even deserve 1 star but whatever. Either way don't waste your time on this one.
I hated this book. Honestly, I should have quit reading it early on but I hate giving up on books and thought it would get better. There is nothing redeemable about the narrator/main character Nigel. He's an odd mix of mentally disturbed and the toxic masculinity of modern culture. It may have been worth one more star with an epilogue explaining what ended up happening but where things were left was awful. Honestly doesn't really even deserve 1 star but whatever. Either way don't waste your time on this one.
May 31, 2019
Luke Smitherd is turning out to be one of my favourite, under-the-radar authors on Audible. While his books offer some twists near the end, they never seem out of place, appearing just for the shock value, and looking back you can honestly always say it was coming all along. In this particular novel, I was expecting something like Kick-Ass, but was pleasantly surprised this wasn't the case. The journal entries style feels familiar, at times funny and tragic in equal measures, and most importantly, never boring.
April 7, 2020
Another success
Enjoyed this book. Not sure whether the main character was supposed to have a learning difficulty, as he seemed very naive and childlike. The characters he came across in his neighbourhood and at work reminded me of some of the people i knew growing up in that part of the world. A bit brutal in parts and I'm not sure about the change in the character's voice at the end, but a very gripping story non the less.
Enjoyed this book. Not sure whether the main character was supposed to have a learning difficulty, as he seemed very naive and childlike. The characters he came across in his neighbourhood and at work reminded me of some of the people i knew growing up in that part of the world. A bit brutal in parts and I'm not sure about the change in the character's voice at the end, but a very gripping story non the less.
July 2, 2017
I enjoy reading Luke Smitherd's book and I find it interesting seeing where his mind will take us. In this case, though, the principle character was so obnoxious it was hard to keep going at times. An interesting narrative style, though, with the character writing in a diary, speaking directly to the reader.
August 20, 2017
Listened to this as an audiobook. Loved it. I felt sorry for Nigel all the way through. He was a very complex character and his descent from weirdness to unhingement was very well written. There were some very funny moments and some scenes which were difficult to listen to (I confess I skipped a couple of uncomfortable minutes)! I would recommend this to everyone!
September 13, 2018
Loved this book, and it started off my small obsession with Luke Smitherd.
I love the dark side towards the end of the book and how Nigel deals with the aftermath of his actions. I would love a sequel to this as it leaves so many questions unanswered for me.
I must re-read this book and give a more up to date review.
I love the dark side towards the end of the book and how Nigel deals with the aftermath of his actions. I would love a sequel to this as it leaves so many questions unanswered for me.
I must re-read this book and give a more up to date review.
January 28, 2019
Not really sure how I felt about this book maybe I expected more after reading the stone man. The story ticked along at a slow pace and in places I did find it boring and without substance. I am still going to have faith in the author and still look out for his next book, hopefully for me he will redeem himself.
March 27, 2019
I'd give it 3.5 stars. Another interesting book by Luke Smitherd. It definitely didn't take the route I expected, but missed the quasi-supernatural elements of many of his books. Deep character dive of a unique character as he deals with personal, familial, potentially mental and other issues in an odd coming of age story.
August 22, 2017
Well.....that was different
Having just finished the book, I'm unsure how I feel about it. For that reason, I think it's great. Anything that makes you question your true opinion of what just happened is great. I grew into the character and liked the slightly autistic take on Kickass.
Having just finished the book, I'm unsure how I feel about it. For that reason, I think it's great. Anything that makes you question your true opinion of what just happened is great. I grew into the character and liked the slightly autistic take on Kickass.
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