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The Withrow Chronicles #1
Perishables
Winner of the 2012 Laine Cunningham Novel Award! "Stephen Colbert meets Stephen King." --Book Nerd's Brain Candy Withrow Surrett is more than just his neighborhood's resident curmudgeon. He's the self-declared vampire lord of North Carolina, he bakes a mean batch of biscuits, and he's at a meeting of his homeowner's association. When the dead rise, which will Withrow's neighbors find the creatures outside or the monster who might be their only hope? Across the state, Jennifer McCordy is a genius stuck in a dead-end job, waiting for opportunity to knock and starting to think maybe it went to the wrong address. When Jennifer takes matters in hand to save herself, will the people around her trust her competence or surrender to their own prejudices? And when Withrow and Jennifer meet, will anything survive? Perishables is a sometimes-funny, sometimes-terrifying, utterly original novel in three parts about reclusive vampires, reluctant heroes, questionable potlucks, late-night electronics sales, retail hell, unexpected friendships, and post-apocalyptic recipes. It's the first in the five-book series The Withrow Chronicles, which tell the story of a sarcastic gay vampire and his dog, his go-go boy cousin, and the witches, ghosts, demons, and robots they meet along the way to confronting conspiracies, mysteries, and all manner of interconnected troubles. Fans of The Black Knight Chronicles, The Tome of Bill, and Fred, the Vampire Accountant will love this series.
157 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 21, 2017
44 people are currently reading
230 people want to read
About the author
Michael G. Williams
30 books86 followersMichael G. Williams writes queer-themed science fiction, urban fantasy, and horror celebrating monsters, macabre humor, and subverted expectations. He’s the author of three series for Falstaff Books: the award-winning vampire/urban fantasy series The Withrow Chronicles; a new urban fantasy series featuring real estate, time travel, and San Francisco’s most beloved historical figures, SERVANT/SOVEREIGN; and the science fiction noir A Fall in Autumn, winner of the 2020 Manly Wade Wellman Award.
Michael is an avid podcaster, activist, and gaymer, and is a brother in St. Anthony Hall and Mu Beta Psi. He lives in Durham, NC, with his husband, a variety of animals, and more and better friends than he probably deserves.
Michael is an avid podcaster, activist, and gaymer, and is a brother in St. Anthony Hall and Mu Beta Psi. He lives in Durham, NC, with his husband, a variety of animals, and more and better friends than he probably deserves.
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June 14, 2023Very enjoyable urban fantasy starring a curmudgeonly vampire taking on a zombie attack. Withrow is not a standard vampire, being 350lbs and no Christopher Lee, still less Lestat, and very definitely no sparkles, but he does have a bit of a heart all the same. Very cutting satire of US life (as much of the horror is located there as in the zombies), entertaining writing, fun horror. I'll read more of these.
December 12, 2019
I've been finding some delectably weird lovelies languishing away in my Google Books app and this one was definitely weird - in a good way!
A zombie read where the "z" is definitely of the lower case variety with nary an apocalypse in sight, and the main billing being given to Withrow - a 350 pound behemoth of a vampire.
The novelette is broken into three parts with some truly disgusting (I thought) old fashioned dessert recipes given an apocalyptic twist sandwiched in between. The first tale introduces us to Withrow along with his Homeowners Association neighbours and one horrifying dinner party interrupted by some long departed undead.
The second tale runs parallel time wise to Withrow's story and features a young Systems Admin called Jennifer, in her first job at a Baptist College, and what happens when the dead begin to rise in the isolated community.
The third tale takes place some years later at a Thanksgiving Black Friday sale and features Withrow joining with Jennifer, now very disillusioned and working at a big box retailer, and an altogether different variety of the newly departed seemingly rising from the dead.
An awesome take on the genre filled with dry wit, and let's face it, an inspiring look at a weight challenged vamp. Fun, fun read.
A zombie read where the "z" is definitely of the lower case variety with nary an apocalypse in sight, and the main billing being given to Withrow - a 350 pound behemoth of a vampire.
The novelette is broken into three parts with some truly disgusting (I thought) old fashioned dessert recipes given an apocalyptic twist sandwiched in between. The first tale introduces us to Withrow along with his Homeowners Association neighbours and one horrifying dinner party interrupted by some long departed undead.
The second tale runs parallel time wise to Withrow's story and features a young Systems Admin called Jennifer, in her first job at a Baptist College, and what happens when the dead begin to rise in the isolated community.
The third tale takes place some years later at a Thanksgiving Black Friday sale and features Withrow joining with Jennifer, now very disillusioned and working at a big box retailer, and an altogether different variety of the newly departed seemingly rising from the dead.
An awesome take on the genre filled with dry wit, and let's face it, an inspiring look at a weight challenged vamp. Fun, fun read.
November 14, 2021
Zombies normally aren't my thing, and I'm not a big fan of vampires either, but boy oh boy did I enjoy this! I was quickly pulled into the story, and instantly liked Withrow. I had to make myself stop reading, which is a good indicator for me as to how much I enjoy a story.
This isn't your typical horror story, and it definitely isn't a typical zombie apocalypse or vampire fantasy. And that's a good thing from my point of view.
This isn't your typical horror story, and it definitely isn't a typical zombie apocalypse or vampire fantasy. And that's a good thing from my point of view.
June 12, 2019
Vampire/Zombie Mashup— It’s Not What It Sounds Like
A very entertaining take on the vampire theme. Throw in a few zombies to beat up and you have a real party. An easy, relaxing read with wry humor and an interesting twist on zombie evolution. Highly recommend. I look forward to reading the rest of the series.
A very entertaining take on the vampire theme. Throw in a few zombies to beat up and you have a real party. An easy, relaxing read with wry humor and an interesting twist on zombie evolution. Highly recommend. I look forward to reading the rest of the series.
October 24, 2024
This was gifted to by a friend and what an absolute treat. Off the bat (eyyy) the premise was fun and it was a delight that the narrative didn't disappoint.
The characters were pretty likeable and having Withrow so disconnected from humanity feels like a concept that should be explored more but isn't. So it was refreshing to see his reaction to most situations. Sometimes over the top, other times cold which worked well for someone that no longer knows how to regulate within the confines of what's considered normal.
The plot though, specifically the zombies made me fall in love.
Do forgive the spoiler but the second uprising used one of my favorite tropes which is Hive Mind. It makes a typical undead much more of a threat and raises stakes (eyyy I swear I'm not doing this on purpose) creating a palpable sense of tension especially given the circumstances of having someone who might be considered overpowered in a fight. It made things feel very balanced.
I'm biased but that second situation could've been expanded much further and I would've devoured (I'm not counting that one) it voraciously. Though it would've been nice to have done so given I almost missed the connection of Jennifer from the second story. She'd understandably drastically changed given the situation she was in and it was a wonderful touch given it's not often the post tragedy is explored.
Overall, fantastic read. Checked all my boxes and kept me entirely engaged. I'd definitely recommend.
My only advice would be an editor for a few minor mistakes such as the dog breed changing and Herb's name briefly being Ken, etc, in which case Mr Williams, I'd happily volunteer.
The characters were pretty likeable and having Withrow so disconnected from humanity feels like a concept that should be explored more but isn't. So it was refreshing to see his reaction to most situations. Sometimes over the top, other times cold which worked well for someone that no longer knows how to regulate within the confines of what's considered normal.
The plot though, specifically the zombies made me fall in love.
Do forgive the spoiler but the second uprising used one of my favorite tropes which is Hive Mind. It makes a typical undead much more of a threat and raises stakes (eyyy I swear I'm not doing this on purpose) creating a palpable sense of tension especially given the circumstances of having someone who might be considered overpowered in a fight. It made things feel very balanced.
I'm biased but that second situation could've been expanded much further and I would've devoured (I'm not counting that one) it voraciously. Though it would've been nice to have done so given I almost missed the connection of Jennifer from the second story. She'd understandably drastically changed given the situation she was in and it was a wonderful touch given it's not often the post tragedy is explored.
Overall, fantastic read. Checked all my boxes and kept me entirely engaged. I'd definitely recommend.
My only advice would be an editor for a few minor mistakes such as the dog breed changing and Herb's name briefly being Ken, etc, in which case Mr Williams, I'd happily volunteer.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 4, 2023
A fun vampire story. It could almost be read as three separate short stories, and the change to Jennifer's POV after 30% of the book was quite jarring at first.
But it's a nice story that makes fun of society and has more to say than simply vampires and zombies.
But it's a nice story that makes fun of society and has more to say than simply vampires and zombies.
October 14, 2025
Three novellas set in zombie uprisings in North Carolina, following a curmudgeon vampire and a tough engineer through spooky but also very funny twists, this was a ton of fun and a great October read.
February 15, 2022
Unique
Time to read a bizarre story of neighbors, a vampire and an intelligent zombie hoard all in one. This is not your run-of-the-mill story at all. Time to dig in and see what happens!!
Time to read a bizarre story of neighbors, a vampire and an intelligent zombie hoard all in one. This is not your run-of-the-mill story at all. Time to dig in and see what happens!!
October 10, 2017
I love the Withrow Chronicle series and just reread book one. I guess, if this was the only book and with my present experience, I would rate this book a three-star on my Goodreads scale - but I have such fond memories and the series only gets better as the writer hones his craft.
The first book is aging, as the cultural references of a decade ago are fading from collective memory, and it shows Mr. Williams slow mastery of writing. The book is really three novellas with the first part developing out of an absolutely awesome idea of what a vampire would do with his homeowner association during a zombie apocalypse. Part raw talent, part great idea, and part love of writing, section one introduces us to Mr. Withrow Surrett in all his 350 pound glory. A must-read if you have read other books in the series.
Books two and three are better and each works well as a stand-alone. Book three pulls things together into a series and after that the books should be read in order published. Book four is out and Mr. Williams states book five is just about ready (as of October 2017) and should be the last book of this series. Other stories in the Withrow universe may happen. You don't need to read book one first - and if you have limited time I would recommend book two, Tooth and Nail, as the first book.
Back to Perishables. The second section is a parallel story also happening during the zombie uprising, a backstory for an important character in section three. A more experienced writer would not have included it - just written it out to figure out the character - but this was Mr. Williams first book so it made the cut. The writing shows improvement, with better transitions, more complicated and nuanced characters, and more sophisticated fight scenes.
Then we have section three. All the writing experience in the first two novellas comes crashing back into a really awesome manuscript. The wonderful juxtaposition of vampire and real-world of the homeowners association returns with Black Friday Thanksgiving madness where Withrow attends the midnight opening of a tech store to get a great deal on a movie player. The story begins with him standing by the doors waiting for them to open, the crowd behind the 350 pounds of him and his "service" animal / vampiric-blood enhanced rottweiler. Nothing could possibly go wrong from that start, right?
The writer then draws on his skill, his honed raw talent developed during the first two stories, and characters, plot, MONSTERS, everything ... is just better. Everything you liked in the first two sections multiplied by each other.
And the step up between section one and section three is what you see between book one (Perishables) and book two (Tooth and Nail). An exceptional series with each book improving on the last.
The first book is aging, as the cultural references of a decade ago are fading from collective memory, and it shows Mr. Williams slow mastery of writing. The book is really three novellas with the first part developing out of an absolutely awesome idea of what a vampire would do with his homeowner association during a zombie apocalypse. Part raw talent, part great idea, and part love of writing, section one introduces us to Mr. Withrow Surrett in all his 350 pound glory. A must-read if you have read other books in the series.
Books two and three are better and each works well as a stand-alone. Book three pulls things together into a series and after that the books should be read in order published. Book four is out and Mr. Williams states book five is just about ready (as of October 2017) and should be the last book of this series. Other stories in the Withrow universe may happen. You don't need to read book one first - and if you have limited time I would recommend book two, Tooth and Nail, as the first book.
Back to Perishables. The second section is a parallel story also happening during the zombie uprising, a backstory for an important character in section three. A more experienced writer would not have included it - just written it out to figure out the character - but this was Mr. Williams first book so it made the cut. The writing shows improvement, with better transitions, more complicated and nuanced characters, and more sophisticated fight scenes.
Then we have section three. All the writing experience in the first two novellas comes crashing back into a really awesome manuscript. The wonderful juxtaposition of vampire and real-world of the homeowners association returns with Black Friday Thanksgiving madness where Withrow attends the midnight opening of a tech store to get a great deal on a movie player. The story begins with him standing by the doors waiting for them to open, the crowd behind the 350 pounds of him and his "service" animal / vampiric-blood enhanced rottweiler. Nothing could possibly go wrong from that start, right?
The writer then draws on his skill, his honed raw talent developed during the first two stories, and characters, plot, MONSTERS, everything ... is just better. Everything you liked in the first two sections multiplied by each other.
And the step up between section one and section three is what you see between book one (Perishables) and book two (Tooth and Nail). An exceptional series with each book improving on the last.
May 10, 2022
Not what I expected at all but in a good way. I do have some questions about how the first zombies came about but that may be answered in the following books. I like the little aside chapters , unexpected and fun.
The writing is good there are funny situations. I am not sure I really like the characters but they are real and interesting and I wanted to see what happened next. The middle part of the book was unexpected and if this had been a stand alone I would have questioned the length and necessity of it regardless of the last third. I am guessing we see more of those characters as the series continues.
I really enjoyed the alternative vampire world created. The situations and people were easy to see. The humor is subtle at times and sometimes not. The horror aspects are downplayed with out describing every little thing in detail but when you stop and think of what is being described, the big picture was definitely gag worthy.
Overall this one is hard to describe with unique world building, interesting ,believable characters and unexpectedly funny. I would recommend this to anyone looking for a different kind of zombie and vampire story. Four stars.
I received this book for free on Bookworms andcam happy to leave this reveiw.
The writing is good there are funny situations. I am not sure I really like the characters but they are real and interesting and I wanted to see what happened next. The middle part of the book was unexpected and if this had been a stand alone I would have questioned the length and necessity of it regardless of the last third. I am guessing we see more of those characters as the series continues.
I really enjoyed the alternative vampire world created. The situations and people were easy to see. The humor is subtle at times and sometimes not. The horror aspects are downplayed with out describing every little thing in detail but when you stop and think of what is being described, the big picture was definitely gag worthy.
Overall this one is hard to describe with unique world building, interesting ,believable characters and unexpectedly funny. I would recommend this to anyone looking for a different kind of zombie and vampire story. Four stars.
I received this book for free on Bookworms andcam happy to leave this reveiw.
September 11, 2018
I had high expectations for a book that has "is Stephen Colbert meets Stephen King" stamped on the front cover. It did not live up to those expectations. The back cover blurb is funnier than the actual story and it is pretty dull.
I grew fond of Withrow through the first third of the story and then he is replaced by a woman whose name never really stuck and her gay friend as that are the only descriptors you get of them. Part three at least brings Withrow back, but the spark is gone. The story plods along to where it wasn't enjoyable. I gave up, skipped parts, questioned why I was reading this at all, then eventually quit.
I grew fond of Withrow through the first third of the story and then he is replaced by a woman whose name never really stuck and her gay friend as that are the only descriptors you get of them. Part three at least brings Withrow back, but the spark is gone. The story plods along to where it wasn't enjoyable. I gave up, skipped parts, questioned why I was reading this at all, then eventually quit.
August 4, 2016
Disclaimer: I know this author in real life. However I don't offer a positive review for something just because I know the writer, and I have to say, I really loved this book. I found it hilarious, original, interesting, and just a damn good time.
I'm not going for the full five stars, because it does have some of the hallmarks of a first novel, particularly one which came out of National Novel Writing Month: odd structure, a need for greater exploration of place and setting, but the characters are spot-on and complex, and the action is compelling.
I'm not going for the full five stars, because it does have some of the hallmarks of a first novel, particularly one which came out of National Novel Writing Month: odd structure, a need for greater exploration of place and setting, but the characters are spot-on and complex, and the action is compelling.
November 16, 2024
A second reading. A very quick easy read about Withrow Surrett, the local friendly neighborhood vampire, and a young woman named Jennifer that has to fight off an invasion of the zombie apocalypse.
The author is also gay which is part of why I read his books. The second time I read it, I did it on the same day, practically one sitting.
The author is also gay which is part of why I read his books. The second time I read it, I did it on the same day, practically one sitting.
October 11, 2017
Full review here:
http://jamesgenrebooks.blogspot.com/2...
It's a wonderfully silly read, and his commentary about people's actions on Black Friday were too true to be truly funny.
http://jamesgenrebooks.blogspot.com/2...
It's a wonderfully silly read, and his commentary about people's actions on Black Friday were too true to be truly funny.
August 19, 2021
A fun read with some hidden depths, and of course, deaths!
July 28, 2020
I received this from the author after I won a copy of his Attempted Immortality through a Goodreads giveaway. The book was enjoyable, but zombies are not my paranormals of choice.
This is 3 short stories of the zombie apocalypse:
1. Withrow Surrett is a 6 foot, 350 pound food eating vampire with a 150 pound Doberman, named Smiles, who got elected to his homeowner association in absentia. the night the zombies attack he is attending the semi-annual association potluck. He so finds out that zombies are afraid him and he spends the night patrolling his neighborhood to keep it safe.
2. At the same time in a small college town Jennifer, a main-frame system administrator, took the job at the college after getting wait-listed for a graduate degree. The night of the zombie apocalypse, they see the start on the tv monitors in the cafeteria. She gets a call from her boyfriend Tim to say he's on his way to her. So, Jennifer, Tim and her professor friend, Everett, manage to bring down a group of zombies by blowing up "her" mainframes and her job.
3. Six years later early Black Friday, Withrow and Smiles are in line to buy a Blu-ray player at Black Friday prices. Jennifer is an employee at the store, just another dead-end job, never having been accepted for graduate school and re-living that one night, having lost her boyfriend and friends in general. One totally obnoxious customer ticks off Withrow, after she trips an old woman, he trips her in turn and she comes up fighting pulling a can of 1970's Russian chemical spray (instead of a pepper spray). Whoever is misted by the chemical, including herself, becomes a zombie. But, they're different from before. They're stronger, faster and have a hivemind. Withrow and Jennifer are determined to save the non-affected humans.
This is 3 short stories of the zombie apocalypse:
1. Withrow Surrett is a 6 foot, 350 pound food eating vampire with a 150 pound Doberman, named Smiles, who got elected to his homeowner association in absentia. the night the zombies attack he is attending the semi-annual association potluck. He so finds out that zombies are afraid him and he spends the night patrolling his neighborhood to keep it safe.
2. At the same time in a small college town Jennifer, a main-frame system administrator, took the job at the college after getting wait-listed for a graduate degree. The night of the zombie apocalypse, they see the start on the tv monitors in the cafeteria. She gets a call from her boyfriend Tim to say he's on his way to her. So, Jennifer, Tim and her professor friend, Everett, manage to bring down a group of zombies by blowing up "her" mainframes and her job.
3. Six years later early Black Friday, Withrow and Smiles are in line to buy a Blu-ray player at Black Friday prices. Jennifer is an employee at the store, just another dead-end job, never having been accepted for graduate school and re-living that one night, having lost her boyfriend and friends in general. One totally obnoxious customer ticks off Withrow, after she trips an old woman, he trips her in turn and she comes up fighting pulling a can of 1970's Russian chemical spray (instead of a pepper spray). Whoever is misted by the chemical, including herself, becomes a zombie. But, they're different from before. They're stronger, faster and have a hivemind. Withrow and Jennifer are determined to save the non-affected humans.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 18, 2022
Completely Different
This book is Not a typical zombie book. It is definitely different and kept me interested. It’s sad and I am not sure if I like Withrow much but it’s really interesting how he thinks and I feel like he’s honestly what I would expect from someone trying to live their life and having to be a cold non-human. He’s not perfect and there’s not a perfect place for him or Jennifer. The dog lives but was a Doberman, then a Rottie , then a Doberman again. I liked him, and the book.
This book is Not a typical zombie book. It is definitely different and kept me interested. It’s sad and I am not sure if I like Withrow much but it’s really interesting how he thinks and I feel like he’s honestly what I would expect from someone trying to live their life and having to be a cold non-human. He’s not perfect and there’s not a perfect place for him or Jennifer. The dog lives but was a Doberman, then a Rottie , then a Doberman again. I liked him, and the book.
June 14, 2023
This was a surprise! It is not strictly humour, nor horror (nor even a blend of the two) but some secret third thing that wavers between those two poles. People die in horrific ways, people that you don't expect to die because in another book they wouldn't have, but it would be a lie to say that it is a tonally dark book. My favourite has to be Withrow himself, because he is so fully invested in being what he is and he doesn't go soft because someone wants to be friends. The commitment to that character is admirable and enjoyable.
March 29, 2025
This is a funky little book. We get very little worldbuilding about the zombies - what made them, how it happened, how far the effect extended, how long it lasted, lots of that. Iwanted to know more. We get a little worldbuilding about how vampires work in this universe, which was nice. The summary implies a relationship that doesn't really occur in the book, which was a little disappointing. Withrow and Jennifer were both cool characters, and I liked their arcs.
October 24, 2017
A different take on the vampire genre
I discuss really identify with the main characters and it was a bit too dark for me, but it was written well and was something different. A little more emphasis on the comedy would have helped. I probably won’t continue with the series, but that’s my personal preference and not a reflection on the writing.
I discuss really identify with the main characters and it was a bit too dark for me, but it was written well and was something different. A little more emphasis on the comedy would have helped. I probably won’t continue with the series, but that’s my personal preference and not a reflection on the writing.
April 11, 2020
Vampire/zombie combo written by somebody who some friends of mine know in real life. I enjoyed the vampire story and it’s setting in suburbia (our hero the vampire gets stuck on the board of his local HOA) better than I did the zombie angle. I was kind of between three and four stars but it’s definitely worth reading if you’re looking for a new series in the urban fantasy realm.
March 24, 2023
Withrow Surrett has a secret, he is a vampire, living in suburbia and is on the local housing committee. The monthly meeting turns into chaos, as Zombies come to town. Three short stories, with the common theme of zombies.
December 13, 2014
Short Take: A hilarious satire of modern society, featuring a vampire and a bunch of zombies.
Withrow Surrett is not your typical sparkling boy-band-looking vampire. He’s middle-aged, obese, living (or unliving, if you prefer) in the suburbs, a cranky Mr. Wilson to humanity’s Dennis the Menace. It’s during one of his Homeowners’ Association dinner meetings (right in the middle of the jellied beef loaf, actually) that the zombie apocalypse begins.
The undead - excuse me, the OTHER undead - are frightened of Withrow and avoid him, even as they attack any humans they encounter. So Withrow is left with a choice - save all these bothersome people, or let the zombies remove the annoyance once and for all. In the end, his love of a good fight wins out, and he and his massive Doberman, Smiles, dispatch the zombies in their neighborhood quickly and effectively.
The zombies are also trying to take over at Mt. Ares Baptist College, where Jennifer McCordy works in a basement closet-turned-office as a systems administrator. While the baseball team is looting the cafeteria, and camo-clad students are exercising their god-given Second Amendment rights on anyone who might or might not be a walking corpse, Jennifer joins forces with her boyfriend Tim and professor Everett Plank to fight the zombies using the best weapons at their disposal: a bunch of old computers.
With the end of the world postponed indefinitely, Withrow is shopping for a Blu-Ray player at a Black Friday Doorbusters sale a few years later when a new breed of zombies attack. He teams up with Jennifer, who’s now working retail, to save humanity yet again.
Michael G. Williams has a sharp eye for the absurdity of modern life. He manages to deftly mock everything from Black Friday sales to cell phone addicts to religious hypocrisy to suburbia in the most perfect way possible: by describing them with no embellishment whatsoever and a perfectly straight face. He’s Stephen Colbert meets Stephen King.
The voices of both Withrow and Jennifer are entertaining, but they are also pretty similar. Both of them are witty, sarcastic, and not so much into their fellow man. While I really enjoyed the thoughts and observations of both of them, I would have liked to see a little more variety in narrative tone. When Withrow and Jennifer team up, it’s because OF COURSE they would, they’re almost the same person. I can’t tell if this was a conscious decision to maintain consistency, or if it’s just the author’s natural voice that he didn’t rein in. It wasn’t too major of an issue for a fairly short novel, but I don’t know how well it would hold up over multiple books. Which leads me to my next point.
As fun as Perishables is, it’s the first book in a series, and it feels like it. There are a few characters that are introduced, and you get the sense that they’re going to be revisited and play a larger role later (Mary Lou, Seth), but they never do. Although technically the story is complete, with a beginning, a middle, and an end, it feels incomplete, like a setup for a larger story, which of course it is. For me, that was a bit of a turnoff. In my opinion, series work best if they work in one of a few ways. Either each book is perfectly complete in and of itself and you don’t have to read the others to enjoy it (Sandford’s Prey series), or there are cliffhangers at the end that you just have to see resolved (A Song of Ice & Fire, The Dark Tower), or there is a central conflict that runs throughout (Harry Potter), or a combination of those. I just didn’t feel like Perishables worked in those ways.
Finally, just as a sidenote, did anyone else get a Bentley Little’s “The Association” vibe from Mary Lou? Just me? Oh well, she was a great character regardless.
The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a can of mixed fruit. Apparently you can use that stuff in all kinds of post-apocalyptic dishes.)
Withrow Surrett is not your typical sparkling boy-band-looking vampire. He’s middle-aged, obese, living (or unliving, if you prefer) in the suburbs, a cranky Mr. Wilson to humanity’s Dennis the Menace. It’s during one of his Homeowners’ Association dinner meetings (right in the middle of the jellied beef loaf, actually) that the zombie apocalypse begins.
The undead - excuse me, the OTHER undead - are frightened of Withrow and avoid him, even as they attack any humans they encounter. So Withrow is left with a choice - save all these bothersome people, or let the zombies remove the annoyance once and for all. In the end, his love of a good fight wins out, and he and his massive Doberman, Smiles, dispatch the zombies in their neighborhood quickly and effectively.
The zombies are also trying to take over at Mt. Ares Baptist College, where Jennifer McCordy works in a basement closet-turned-office as a systems administrator. While the baseball team is looting the cafeteria, and camo-clad students are exercising their god-given Second Amendment rights on anyone who might or might not be a walking corpse, Jennifer joins forces with her boyfriend Tim and professor Everett Plank to fight the zombies using the best weapons at their disposal: a bunch of old computers.
With the end of the world postponed indefinitely, Withrow is shopping for a Blu-Ray player at a Black Friday Doorbusters sale a few years later when a new breed of zombies attack. He teams up with Jennifer, who’s now working retail, to save humanity yet again.
Michael G. Williams has a sharp eye for the absurdity of modern life. He manages to deftly mock everything from Black Friday sales to cell phone addicts to religious hypocrisy to suburbia in the most perfect way possible: by describing them with no embellishment whatsoever and a perfectly straight face. He’s Stephen Colbert meets Stephen King.
The voices of both Withrow and Jennifer are entertaining, but they are also pretty similar. Both of them are witty, sarcastic, and not so much into their fellow man. While I really enjoyed the thoughts and observations of both of them, I would have liked to see a little more variety in narrative tone. When Withrow and Jennifer team up, it’s because OF COURSE they would, they’re almost the same person. I can’t tell if this was a conscious decision to maintain consistency, or if it’s just the author’s natural voice that he didn’t rein in. It wasn’t too major of an issue for a fairly short novel, but I don’t know how well it would hold up over multiple books. Which leads me to my next point.
As fun as Perishables is, it’s the first book in a series, and it feels like it. There are a few characters that are introduced, and you get the sense that they’re going to be revisited and play a larger role later (Mary Lou, Seth), but they never do. Although technically the story is complete, with a beginning, a middle, and an end, it feels incomplete, like a setup for a larger story, which of course it is. For me, that was a bit of a turnoff. In my opinion, series work best if they work in one of a few ways. Either each book is perfectly complete in and of itself and you don’t have to read the others to enjoy it (Sandford’s Prey series), or there are cliffhangers at the end that you just have to see resolved (A Song of Ice & Fire, The Dark Tower), or there is a central conflict that runs throughout (Harry Potter), or a combination of those. I just didn’t feel like Perishables worked in those ways.
Finally, just as a sidenote, did anyone else get a Bentley Little’s “The Association” vibe from Mary Lou? Just me? Oh well, she was a great character regardless.
The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a can of mixed fruit. Apparently you can use that stuff in all kinds of post-apocalyptic dishes.)
August 6, 2017
I finished this book in less than 24 hours. It's on the shorter side, but it was also that good. I really liked the different take on zombies and vampires. I also liked that none of the characters were who they seemed to be on the surface. All of them had hidden depths despite initially being introduced as humorous stereotypes.
At its heart, the book is about a surly vampire named Withrow and a spunky human named Jennifer. Both find themselves having to deal with the fact that no one competent seems to be around when the zombies come shambling. Jennifer is definitely the more altruistic of the two. What I really liked about Withrow is that he doesn't get involved in the fight because it was the right thing to do. Rather, he constantly fights against the apex predator desire to leave the sheep to the wolves and go on about his own business because it's not his problem.
I'm not a visual person. I don't see everything in a book playing out in my head like it's a movie when I read. However, Williams somehow managed to show even me what was going on with well placed bits of description that had me laughing out loud. I'm also not a horror movie buff (even the trailers freak me out a little), but I can listen to and read about creepy stuff all day long and not bat an eye. Very rarely do books make the hair on the back of my neck stand up, but this one definitely did. I loved it.
If you're looking for something funny, horrifying, and extremely well-written, I highly recommend Perishables. I plan on starting the second one in the series as soon as I'm done writing this.
My favorite line:
"I would have killed all three of them -again, I guess -right out in the street in front of God and the neighborhood association's executive board and everybody."
At its heart, the book is about a surly vampire named Withrow and a spunky human named Jennifer. Both find themselves having to deal with the fact that no one competent seems to be around when the zombies come shambling. Jennifer is definitely the more altruistic of the two. What I really liked about Withrow is that he doesn't get involved in the fight because it was the right thing to do. Rather, he constantly fights against the apex predator desire to leave the sheep to the wolves and go on about his own business because it's not his problem.
I'm not a visual person. I don't see everything in a book playing out in my head like it's a movie when I read. However, Williams somehow managed to show even me what was going on with well placed bits of description that had me laughing out loud. I'm also not a horror movie buff (even the trailers freak me out a little), but I can listen to and read about creepy stuff all day long and not bat an eye. Very rarely do books make the hair on the back of my neck stand up, but this one definitely did. I loved it.
If you're looking for something funny, horrifying, and extremely well-written, I highly recommend Perishables. I plan on starting the second one in the series as soon as I'm done writing this.
My favorite line:
"I would have killed all three of them -again, I guess -right out in the street in front of God and the neighborhood association's executive board and everybody."
December 8, 2017
I bought this when it was on sale, because it sounded like a fun, quirky read. It was! It was also pretty short at 177 pages, which includes three odd recipe "interludes" between sections of the book, which seemed to have been included just to increase the page/word count a bit. It was also a bit disconcerting to me in part two when the author suddenly switches point-of-view to a new character in a completely different setting. Then, in part three, we switch back to the first character's POV. (If you look at the table of contents, the chapter numbering makes no sense.)
The synopsis focuses on the 350-pound vampire character, who provides first-person narration for the first and third parts of the book. He is a unique take on vampirism, as vampires are typically thin and half-starved or sexy, muscled studs. He might have the aloof brooding part down though. You'll have to read the book to find more about him though.
There are also two strong women that play key roles in the story. One of them is the POV in the second part and plays a key roles in the third part, as well.
We were left with little to no understanding of what caused the zombies or just how widespread the problem was or why it wasn't bigger. That was less than satisfying.
However, the most interesting parts of the story have to do with how different groups and individuals deal with stressful situations and emergencies. Those are the real gems in this story!
The synopsis focuses on the 350-pound vampire character, who provides first-person narration for the first and third parts of the book. He is a unique take on vampirism, as vampires are typically thin and half-starved or sexy, muscled studs. He might have the aloof brooding part down though. You'll have to read the book to find more about him though.
There are also two strong women that play key roles in the story. One of them is the POV in the second part and plays a key roles in the third part, as well.
We were left with little to no understanding of what caused the zombies or just how widespread the problem was or why it wasn't bigger. That was less than satisfying.
However, the most interesting parts of the story have to do with how different groups and individuals deal with stressful situations and emergencies. Those are the real gems in this story!
November 13, 2012
This book is essentially three stories that become interconnected. Plus recipes for food that is just as terrifying as the monsters in the stories. The first tale is a light-hearted vampire/zombie tale with added suburban angst. It is as light and fluffy as the ambrosia salad, and about as filling. However, readers who are expecting nothing more than a few tee-hees will be disappointed as the subject becomes darker and more intense as the stories progress.
I greatly preferred the latter two stories, and was especially taken with the final story. It adds an element to the typical zombie fare which I've never seen before and was both horrifying and believable. What I've always liked about this author's work is the blurry line between happily-ever-after and the way things would probably really work out.
Perishables is a vampire and zombies book, with no shortage of humour. But it still manages to address real issues of dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic event, the pain of being shunned by one's community and having to hide one's real self under a façade of normalcy. Those aspects of the book are where this author really shines, and those are 5 star sections.
I greatly preferred the latter two stories, and was especially taken with the final story. It adds an element to the typical zombie fare which I've never seen before and was both horrifying and believable. What I've always liked about this author's work is the blurry line between happily-ever-after and the way things would probably really work out.
Perishables is a vampire and zombies book, with no shortage of humour. But it still manages to address real issues of dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic event, the pain of being shunned by one's community and having to hide one's real self under a façade of normalcy. Those aspects of the book are where this author really shines, and those are 5 star sections.
August 23, 2013
So I only had 15% of this book left to read and I got up this morning wanting to finish it so badly that I've yet to have breakfast. The bottom line is: this was an excellent book and you should read it.
But let me elaborate too, because there's so much more to the dark excellence of Michael Williams and his fabulous storytelling. You WILL completely love the bare humanity and dry, caustic humour of the vampyric Withrow Surret. You have NEVER read a zombie book like this before, and I doubt you will again. Missing out on reading Perishables is not something anyone should do, particularly if they want to split their sides laughing darkly and feeling just that little bit evil for it.
These three stories form one heck of an overall novel that took me on a highly enjoyable ride into the minds of some of the most fascinating and well formed characters ever to grace my Kindle. Perishables is a wicked slice of life wrapped in up beautiful wordplay and poignant concepts that will keep you thinking about the book for days after reading.
The best news of all? It's a series, and one which I intend to continue!
This book is seriously RECOMMENDED!
But let me elaborate too, because there's so much more to the dark excellence of Michael Williams and his fabulous storytelling. You WILL completely love the bare humanity and dry, caustic humour of the vampyric Withrow Surret. You have NEVER read a zombie book like this before, and I doubt you will again. Missing out on reading Perishables is not something anyone should do, particularly if they want to split their sides laughing darkly and feeling just that little bit evil for it.
These three stories form one heck of an overall novel that took me on a highly enjoyable ride into the minds of some of the most fascinating and well formed characters ever to grace my Kindle. Perishables is a wicked slice of life wrapped in up beautiful wordplay and poignant concepts that will keep you thinking about the book for days after reading.
The best news of all? It's a series, and one which I intend to continue!
This book is seriously RECOMMENDED!
May 25, 2019
This book is really not exactly a novel...more 3 short stories although they do have a relationship with each. The burb on the front says that it is a cross between Stephen Colbert and Stephen King. I can't quite see that...I see very little Stephen Colbert especially.
What I do see is a group of stories with a very different vampire. Withrow Surrett is not the Cullen of Twilight nor is he another Dracula. Goodness knows he seems to have more in common with "The Fat White Vampires Blues".
He is very definitely a "different" kind of vampire...not really a hero, nor a villain. What he is appears to be "other".
I have to admit that it took me a while to adjust to this series. I didn't much like the conversations with his home owners association for example.
If that particular part had gone on much longer, I would likely not have given it a 4, more like a 3 maybe, but the other two stories made up for it, especially the third in the trio.
Zombies figure in this book as much, which usually isn't my thing, but in this book, I think it was well done, with the addition of "not all zombies are created equal". A very interesting touch.
What I do see is a group of stories with a very different vampire. Withrow Surrett is not the Cullen of Twilight nor is he another Dracula. Goodness knows he seems to have more in common with "The Fat White Vampires Blues".
He is very definitely a "different" kind of vampire...not really a hero, nor a villain. What he is appears to be "other".
I have to admit that it took me a while to adjust to this series. I didn't much like the conversations with his home owners association for example.
If that particular part had gone on much longer, I would likely not have given it a 4, more like a 3 maybe, but the other two stories made up for it, especially the third in the trio.
Zombies figure in this book as much, which usually isn't my thing, but in this book, I think it was well done, with the addition of "not all zombies are created equal". A very interesting touch.
November 11, 2017
I'm giving this an extra half star because it's the first book I've been able to get through in over a month. My reading slump is over! I hope.
I'm not into vampires, but combine them with zombies, and you grabs my interest. Not only does this book offer an interesting take on zombies, but on vampires as well. I don't want to spoil anything, so I'll leave it at that.
The book is divided into three sections, the first and last told from Withrow, the vampire's, POV. The middle section involves another character, but again, I don't want to spoil anything. I will say, the story does get darker toward the end, but there was always an underlying humor, especially in the tongue-in-cheek observations and insights by the POV characters.
The action scenes were described in a way that was easy to visualize. And fun! Other scenes were tragic or sad, and made me think yeah, that could happen.
Overall, it was fun, and I'll be checking out the next book in the series.
I'm not into vampires, but combine them with zombies, and you grabs my interest. Not only does this book offer an interesting take on zombies, but on vampires as well. I don't want to spoil anything, so I'll leave it at that.
The book is divided into three sections, the first and last told from Withrow, the vampire's, POV. The middle section involves another character, but again, I don't want to spoil anything. I will say, the story does get darker toward the end, but there was always an underlying humor, especially in the tongue-in-cheek observations and insights by the POV characters.
The action scenes were described in a way that was easy to visualize. And fun! Other scenes were tragic or sad, and made me think yeah, that could happen.
Overall, it was fun, and I'll be checking out the next book in the series.
May 26, 2019
The only reason I took so long on such a short book was because of my life being hectic. I used to be so afraid of zombies. I went to comic con in Raleigh NC and this guy, actually two guys, sold me three zombie books. I chose this to read first and I expected a lot. The cover reads “this book is Stephen Colbert meets Stephen king”. It’s not particularly true in my opinion. The humor is not hilarious if you could call it humor to begin with. It’s not even scary but it IS great. I mean there’s no suspense and no laugh out loud parts. The writing is great though. Throws ya off when they change character. Withrows personality is awesome. His mannerisms and bigthoughts, words he says are just relatable. You kind of forget that he’s a 350 pound man the way he moves. I plan on reading the entire series (hopefully). (I’m not big on novels) I give it 4 stars
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