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Quando pecadores dizem "sim"
O casamento é a união de duas pessoas que chegam ao altar com uma bagagem surpreendentemente grande. Em geral, ela se abre durante a lua-de-mel; às vezes, espera até à semana seguinte. A Bíblia chama-a de pecado. Compreender a sua influência pode fazer toda a diferença para um homem e uma mulher que estão construindo a vida juntos. Quando Pecadores Dizem Sim aborda a importância do poder transformador do evangelho na imprevisível jornada do casamento. O estilo de redação de Dave Harvey cativa o leitor, enquanto fala com honestidade e, às vezes, humor a respeito do pecado e do poder do evangelho para vencê-lo. Ele descortina a maravilhosa verdade da Palavra de Deus e encoraja o leitor a perceber com mais clareza o glorioso panorama do que Deus faz quando pecadores dizem Sim.
176 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2007
About the author
Dave Harvey
83 books64 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
Dave Harvey is senior pastor of Covenant Fellowship Church (Glen Mills, PA), part of a family of churches called Sovereign Grace Ministries. He received his Doctor of Ministry in Pastoral Care from Westminster Theological Seminary. Dave lives in West Chester, Pennsylvania, with his wife, Kimm, and their four children.
Dave Harvey is senior pastor of Covenant Fellowship Church (Glen Mills, PA), part of a family of churches called Sovereign Grace Ministries. He received his Doctor of Ministry in Pastoral Care from Westminster Theological Seminary. Dave lives in West Chester, Pennsylvania, with his wife, Kimm, and their four children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 424 reviews
March 21, 2016
While I generally prefer the insightful, research-laden work of Tim Keller on just about every subject, I have to say that this is probably the most practically helpful book on marriage I've ever read. (Don't get me wrong, though: I still LOVE Keller's The Meaning of Marriage. The two books just have different aims.)
During the first few chapters, my initial response was, "Heyyyy. You just took the chapter subjects of every single Reformed book written on the Gospel during the last ten years and then applied them to marriage."
But oh my goodness, it worked.
What better place to practice Gospel living than in my ever-present, glorious, sinful marriage? Harvey not only helped me see more specifically how the Gospel affects each part of my marriage every day, but he also broke open some familiar Gospel truths so that they became fresh again.
My favorite chapter has to be the last, "When Sinners Say Goodbye." Ever since having children and losing that effortless skinny figure I took for granted for my entire life, I have struggled with body image. No amount of mommy-blog platitudes ("Being a mom is worth it!" "These stretch marks are a mark of my accomplishment!") could shake it. But Harvey's redemptive reminder of "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day" (2 Cor. 4:16) helped more than anything else has. The most important and lasting part of me is growing more beautiful year by year because God is working in me year by year: now THAT's food to nourish my soul.
During the first few chapters, my initial response was, "Heyyyy. You just took the chapter subjects of every single Reformed book written on the Gospel during the last ten years and then applied them to marriage."
But oh my goodness, it worked.
What better place to practice Gospel living than in my ever-present, glorious, sinful marriage? Harvey not only helped me see more specifically how the Gospel affects each part of my marriage every day, but he also broke open some familiar Gospel truths so that they became fresh again.
My favorite chapter has to be the last, "When Sinners Say Goodbye." Ever since having children and losing that effortless skinny figure I took for granted for my entire life, I have struggled with body image. No amount of mommy-blog platitudes ("Being a mom is worth it!" "These stretch marks are a mark of my accomplishment!") could shake it. But Harvey's redemptive reminder of "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day" (2 Cor. 4:16) helped more than anything else has. The most important and lasting part of me is growing more beautiful year by year because God is working in me year by year: now THAT's food to nourish my soul.
September 22, 2008
This is a pretty good book where themes of humility and the need for God's grace run strong. A healthy recognition of your own failures and even the ones you don't see will obviously help you to approach conflict with humility and your necessity of the gospel on a day to day basis.
It seemed to me that even though the book is for both men and women, it seemed more appropriate for men. The book is very much influenced by Harvey's own experiences in his marriage as a man. He deals with the struggles that a lot of men struggle with in evangelical, complementarian circles.
One part of the book did bother me. In his chapter on forgiveness, he praises an elderly lady for never growing bitter and constantly forgiving her husband who was a pastor with no integrity that had engaged in adultery. Years later, even though they were divorced, she still prayed for him, etc. This is all great and necessary, but Harvey missed out on a key opportunity to instruct Christian women to not just be forgiving but to also confront sin in their spouse. What needed to happen was out of love for her husband she needed to confront him and take him before the leaders in the church and expose his sin. 1 Corinthians 13 says love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. By failing to instruct Christian women who are in complementarian relationships where roles are the big thing, Harvey sets up women for all kinds of abuse they need not endure. Unknowingly or not, he promotes the view of submission that puts up with all the husband's crap without biblical confrontation. Women in these circles need to be encouraged and taught to confront these types of situations, not just "to submit and forgive."
Besides this, I found the book to be helpful reminding me of my own sinfulness and proneness to be the one in the right. My need for the gospel of grace every day should cause me to be more gracious in my relationship with my wife.
It seemed to me that even though the book is for both men and women, it seemed more appropriate for men. The book is very much influenced by Harvey's own experiences in his marriage as a man. He deals with the struggles that a lot of men struggle with in evangelical, complementarian circles.
One part of the book did bother me. In his chapter on forgiveness, he praises an elderly lady for never growing bitter and constantly forgiving her husband who was a pastor with no integrity that had engaged in adultery. Years later, even though they were divorced, she still prayed for him, etc. This is all great and necessary, but Harvey missed out on a key opportunity to instruct Christian women to not just be forgiving but to also confront sin in their spouse. What needed to happen was out of love for her husband she needed to confront him and take him before the leaders in the church and expose his sin. 1 Corinthians 13 says love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. By failing to instruct Christian women who are in complementarian relationships where roles are the big thing, Harvey sets up women for all kinds of abuse they need not endure. Unknowingly or not, he promotes the view of submission that puts up with all the husband's crap without biblical confrontation. Women in these circles need to be encouraged and taught to confront these types of situations, not just "to submit and forgive."
Besides this, I found the book to be helpful reminding me of my own sinfulness and proneness to be the one in the right. My need for the gospel of grace every day should cause me to be more gracious in my relationship with my wife.
January 3, 2024
Very good, encouraging read. A great reminder on how a biblical understanding of sin helps us delight more in Christ - and this love of Christ enables and convicts us to love our spouses in the light of His grace to us. Marriage is indeed a precious gift from God!
October 17, 2026
Helpful, biblical, and does a fantastic job at explaining how the gospel applies to marriage.
Spends a lot of time applying the gospel to marriage, without idolising marriage.
However, at times it feels fairly cheesy and made me cringe on more than one occasion. There also seems to be too much weight on bearing with the sins of your spouse, with a small section of the book mentioning correcting one another, holding each other accountable, or upholding to your marriage vows made to one another. This would have made the book a more balanced read. I enjoyed regardless, but it didn’t inspire me to be jumping at another book by the same author.
Spends a lot of time applying the gospel to marriage, without idolising marriage.
However, at times it feels fairly cheesy and made me cringe on more than one occasion. There also seems to be too much weight on bearing with the sins of your spouse, with a small section of the book mentioning correcting one another, holding each other accountable, or upholding to your marriage vows made to one another. This would have made the book a more balanced read. I enjoyed regardless, but it didn’t inspire me to be jumping at another book by the same author.
April 4, 2022
Wow, this is one of the best and most practical books I have ever read on marriage.
Although the title might suggest there will be a heavy focus on personal failures in marriage, that is far from true. Harvey advocates instead for a healthy self-suspicion and a high volume of grace in marriage, in view of our ongoing struggles against sin in the flesh.
When Sinners Say "I Do" is very readable and relatable. It is not theologically rich but neither is it theologically poor—this is theology in boots, marching through the mud-and-dirt trials of marriage as it is. I'm glad I read it, and will recommend it gladly to others.
Although the title might suggest there will be a heavy focus on personal failures in marriage, that is far from true. Harvey advocates instead for a healthy self-suspicion and a high volume of grace in marriage, in view of our ongoing struggles against sin in the flesh.
When Sinners Say "I Do" is very readable and relatable. It is not theologically rich but neither is it theologically poor—this is theology in boots, marching through the mud-and-dirt trials of marriage as it is. I'm glad I read it, and will recommend it gladly to others.
Read
May 1, 2012My friend Dave Harvey has written a wonderful book. When Sinners Say I Do is honest, refreshing, practical, and above all biblical. These carefully written pages spill over with truth and grace. This book is liberating, Christ-centered and hope-filled, pointing the way to God-empowered marriage. I’m delighted to recommend it.
April 26, 2020
This book is brilliant. Dave Harvey manages to increase your excitement of marriage while at the same time making you more aware of your sin- how does that make sense? Because of the beautiful picture of God's grace that he puts at the forefront of every discussion. Both great for how practical it is and how well it prepares your heart. (Or at least let's hope so!)
May 2, 2022
Solid. Lead to a perfect marriage with the perfect woman
July 19, 2026
wow.
in addition to “tying the knot”, this book has been so edifying for me on all topics in marriage. the last chapter was on the death of a spouse and the hope of life eternal with Christ. i sobbed the whole time.
HIGHLY recommend
in addition to “tying the knot”, this book has been so edifying for me on all topics in marriage. the last chapter was on the death of a spouse and the hope of life eternal with Christ. i sobbed the whole time.
HIGHLY recommend
August 29, 2026
Pre marital counseling book! Def geared more for those already married, but still good. Can’t tell if we enjoyed it so much because of the book itself, or if we just loved hanging out every week with the couple who did our premarital counseling. They’ve been married 42 years and said this book was awesome & even rlly helpful for them - so take their word for it!!
Read
January 16, 2025My favourite book on marriage. What a helpful, insightful, practical gift to God's people who want their marriages to glorify Christ!
October 8, 2021
As Scott and I prepared for our wedding, we were given a lot of recommendations on books to read. Many of the books seem to be written to scare young couples into realizing this is a serious thing they are taking on and will be hard. Most of the ones that sounded good were written for couples in an active marriage. And a few sounded just downright dumb or dry.
When our pastor bought and handed Scott and me each a copy of this book, I decided to give this one a try.
Does it take a serious look at marriage? Yes!
Is it written to scare in-love couples? No!!
Is it applicable to both married and soon-to-be-married? Yes!
This book address selfishness and how it can really affect a marriage. While not an exhaustive book on marriage it's a keeper and already has underlining in it (from me).
Oh, and can I just say that Harvey is a masterful writer? Unlike a lot of books I started on, this guy has a talent with words, not just a good theological base.
When our pastor bought and handed Scott and me each a copy of this book, I decided to give this one a try.
Does it take a serious look at marriage? Yes!
Is it written to scare in-love couples? No!!
Is it applicable to both married and soon-to-be-married? Yes!
This book address selfishness and how it can really affect a marriage. While not an exhaustive book on marriage it's a keeper and already has underlining in it (from me).
Oh, and can I just say that Harvey is a masterful writer? Unlike a lot of books I started on, this guy has a talent with words, not just a good theological base.
May 9, 2019
Este é um excelente livro sobre casamento. Não, é mais que isso... é um livro sobre a natureza humana e a graça que nos resgata e nos santifica. Nesse resgate, nosso casamento precisa de graça e humildade! Leia!
April 28, 2021
Might be my new favorite book on marriage! Biblical, funny, and relatable! I especially liked the section on self-righteousness and how we must start with the foundation that >>I<< am the biggest sinner in the relationship.
May 27, 2025
This book is used in pre marital counseling but was a good read on how a god centered marriage should look like!
October 12, 2026
A great book for married couples. In my top 5 books on Christian marriage. Highly recommended.
November 13, 2020
Un libro útil y necesario para ir con el enfoque correcto al matrimonio. No sé trata de mi, ni mi pareja, sino de Cristo y su Iglesia.
June 7, 2022
First chapter is great, read it. Skip the rest. Borderline harmful in its entirety. While there are beautiful stories and redeeming themes, this book reads like a product of its Sovereign Grace environment -- any problems in a marriage fall under the jurisdiction of James 4:1 ("what causes quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?"). This means legitimate needs are treated as ancillary. All a spouse really needs is to accept that God's future promises are enough, and then all "needs" become "wants" and lack should be endured. There is little mention of the promises we make to each other in marriage and the covenant keeping that marriage demands. There are fewer principles than it appears at a glance -- because there is really only one application of each principle, while Truth applied in wisdom will have many applications. Leave this one on the shelf.
June 29, 2015
Another fantastic marriage book. Surprisingly theological, in a good way -- Dave Harvey's down-to-earth, funny, pastoral approach applies theology to the real life issues of marriage very helpfully. (The final chapter about preparing for the death of a spouse, and living for Jesus afterwards, is a fantastic stand alone section.)
Read again in 2018. Struck this time by the honest focus on self-examination, sin, humility and confession in marriage, and also by the three stage examination of mercy (overlooking sin), forgiveness (when sin is confessed) and confrontation of sin (for the good of the other).
Read again in 2018. Struck this time by the honest focus on self-examination, sin, humility and confession in marriage, and also by the three stage examination of mercy (overlooking sin), forgiveness (when sin is confessed) and confrontation of sin (for the good of the other).
January 8, 2016
Dad recommended this book to me as one of the best marriage books he's ever read. He's used it in pre-marital counseling for several couples. I enjoyed When Sinners Say "I Do" a lot. There was a wealth of doctrine but also practical applications, especially in regard to forgiveness and mercy - helpful not even for marriage but any close relationship. And Dave Harvey was just downright funny.
May 20, 2022
Everyone should read this book. This was my second read through and I appreciated it all the more having been married 5 years than I did reading it as an almost newlywed. So very applicable to every stage of life and marriage and so very gospel centered.
November 6, 2025
I probably recommended this book to about 27375 people throughout the duration of reading it. Incredibly helpful and practical—and rich with the truth of the gospel. Harvey weaves two crucial truths throughout the chapters of this book. First, we are great sinners, and two, Christ is a greater Savior. The more we recognize the weight of our sin, the more our affections are stirred for Him. We do not despair in life or in marriage because our hope is in Him.
“…in looking at sin biblically we keep our eyes on what really matters in marriage: the unfathomable love and mercy of God poured out for us through the Savior. When we gaze upon the cross, we begin to see the early light of a glorious day.”
And how glorious it is that marriage points to that day— the Marriage Supper of the Lamb—when we will see Him!
“…in looking at sin biblically we keep our eyes on what really matters in marriage: the unfathomable love and mercy of God poured out for us through the Savior. When we gaze upon the cross, we begin to see the early light of a glorious day.”
And how glorious it is that marriage points to that day— the Marriage Supper of the Lamb—when we will see Him!
August 22, 2024
Harvey’s tone was very accessible and his down-to-earth prose made it feel like you’re talking to him one on one. Everything in the book was made poignant with real life stories. I also appreciated the final chapter on “Saying Goodbye.” Frankly, that wasn’t on my mind as an engaged woman, but I’m so glad it was talked about. Marriage is a preparation. That includes death—but one of hope. It made me cry, really.
On its own, I still have follow up questions and thoughts. But one book can’t cover every possible topic. I would 100% recommend to add it to ones worth reading to give you a holistic picture.
On its own, I still have follow up questions and thoughts. But one book can’t cover every possible topic. I would 100% recommend to add it to ones worth reading to give you a holistic picture.
June 24, 2024
This book was truly helpful and insightful and I believe would be for any stage of marriage. I loved this book! A lot of marriage books fall flat but this one stays focused on gospel truth and love and I loved how he worked through different stories and examples of his point in each chapter. I highly recommend!
August 20, 2025
Underrated marriage book id say. Chapter 6 on forgiveness is super applicable to all of life. Chapter 10 on how to graciously approach your spouses return to the Lord and how to embrace widowhood as a missionary opportunity was really unexpected and unique in these kind of life prep books from what I can tell. Recommend! Free on Spotify premium
April 24, 2019
A well-balanced, pastoral look at marriage.
May 7, 2024
5/5!
Really enjoyed this book and I was able to take away some great points.
Really enjoyed this book and I was able to take away some great points.
September 27, 2025
“Until sin be bitter, Christ will not be sweet.” -Thomas Watson. Harvey used this quote from Watson to help the reader understand that until we see our own sin as the greatest hinderance or enemy in marriage, our marriage, in turn, will not be sweet. Truly understanding the Gospel and how much we’ve been forgiven by Christ is key to a joy-filled marriage.
So sweet to read through so early on in marriage! Highly recommend.
So sweet to read through so early on in marriage! Highly recommend.
January 30, 2026
GREAT. Would recommend to any engaged or married couple!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 424 reviews