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The Land Before Life #2
Diminishing Returns: And The First Flash Ten
If this is the Land Before Life, then where do all the Souls come from?
Quince is in charge of handing out the lives. But it’s Bob who has all the questions, like:
If Quince hands out the lives…who handed out Quince?
And
What happens to the Poor Souls when they come out the other side of Life?
But most of all:
When do I get a turn?
The thing is, how can Bob possibly have a go at running the Land Before Life, if all his boss will let him do is make the tea?
But when Bob gets some help in putting Quince out of the way, he finds that running the Land Before Life is much more trouble than he anticipated.
Worse, where has Quince even gone? Now Bob has to go on a rescue mission, travelling to the most weird and disturbing place imaginable: Life. Or at least, to a version of it…
Diminishing Returns is a novella set in the Universe of Quince, salesman of fine lives new and used. Please be assured that this story contains levels of strangeness deemed optimal for its smooth unfolding.
This collection also contains The First Flash Ten, ten tiny stories of magic, fantasy, humour and horror, which were originally posted on my website and were mailed out in my newsletter. Each story comes complete with a beautiful illustration, drawn by various artists and inspired by the story in question.
These stories are now being cycled out of my website in favour of new stories, which will in turn be released in a collection. So if you want to read the first batch of tiny stories, this is the place to look…
Tiny stories in this collection:
Just Like Vinyl
The Hottest Day
Worry, Worry, Worry
Make It Count
The Next Act At The Divine Comedy Store
First Draft
Why They Chew Us
Extraction
Clean Energy
The Nothing At The Edge Of The Universe
Quince is in charge of handing out the lives. But it’s Bob who has all the questions, like:
If Quince hands out the lives…who handed out Quince?
And
What happens to the Poor Souls when they come out the other side of Life?
But most of all:
When do I get a turn?
The thing is, how can Bob possibly have a go at running the Land Before Life, if all his boss will let him do is make the tea?
But when Bob gets some help in putting Quince out of the way, he finds that running the Land Before Life is much more trouble than he anticipated.
Worse, where has Quince even gone? Now Bob has to go on a rescue mission, travelling to the most weird and disturbing place imaginable: Life. Or at least, to a version of it…
Diminishing Returns is a novella set in the Universe of Quince, salesman of fine lives new and used. Please be assured that this story contains levels of strangeness deemed optimal for its smooth unfolding.
This collection also contains The First Flash Ten, ten tiny stories of magic, fantasy, humour and horror, which were originally posted on my website and were mailed out in my newsletter. Each story comes complete with a beautiful illustration, drawn by various artists and inspired by the story in question.
These stories are now being cycled out of my website in favour of new stories, which will in turn be released in a collection. So if you want to read the first batch of tiny stories, this is the place to look…
Tiny stories in this collection:
Just Like Vinyl
The Hottest Day
Worry, Worry, Worry
Make It Count
The Next Act At The Divine Comedy Store
First Draft
Why They Chew Us
Extraction
Clean Energy
The Nothing At The Edge Of The Universe
120 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 3, 2017
9 people want to read
About the author
Jamie Brindle
64 books29 followersJamie Brindle has been writing stories for almost as long as he can remember. Occasionally they are even published.
Sometimes, he wonders if this has had any lasting deleterious effect on him, such as perhaps being responsible for the habit he has of writing about himself in the third person. At other time this seems not to matter.
He was raised by ex-hippies in an apple orchard, and had to chase around a hedge maze for pocket money. When he grew older, he was deemed to have passed the "maze" level, and so graduated to selling boomerangs at Covent Garden Market.
He was home educated until the age of fourteen, then went to Bedford College, where he essentially didn't speak for two years. Near the end of this time he was questioned by a careers advisor, and revealed his desire to be a writer. Once she had stopped laughing, she suggested that a career which was more "financially viable" might be advisable. This resulted in him taking science A-levels, and then going on to study Biochemistry at the University of Sussex in 1998.
On graduating, Jamie realised the main problem with this was that he found biochemistry rather boring. Around this time he found out that a handful of universities offered graduate-entry medicine courses. Unfortunately, he did not have much relevant experience, a problem which he sought to rectify by doing various forms of work experience.
Amongst the work experience he undertook, Jamie was grateful to be offered the chance to spend some time in a school for deaf children. He went for two weeks and ended up staying for three and a half years. This was a good thing, as it gave him a chance to get over his home-educated prejudices about the school system, as he really liked the school and began, more generally, to feel that perhaps school wasn't such a bad thing, after all.
This period came to an end, however, when he was offered a place at the University of Warwick to study Medicine in 2006. He enjoyed medicine greatly, and met lots of nice people on the course. He now works as a GP trainee, and finds that writing is a wonderful way to ground himself after long shifts working in the bizarre fantasy world of the NHS. He is currently writing a thinly-veiled autobiographical book about his experiences as a junior doctor. He is still wondering about whether or not to put dragons in.
During this time he has written a fair few short stories which have appeared online and in various anthologies. His first novel, "The Fall of the Angel Nathalie" was published in 2013 by Necro Press, and can be found here or at amazon here.
Sometimes, he wonders if this has had any lasting deleterious effect on him, such as perhaps being responsible for the habit he has of writing about himself in the third person. At other time this seems not to matter.
He was raised by ex-hippies in an apple orchard, and had to chase around a hedge maze for pocket money. When he grew older, he was deemed to have passed the "maze" level, and so graduated to selling boomerangs at Covent Garden Market.
He was home educated until the age of fourteen, then went to Bedford College, where he essentially didn't speak for two years. Near the end of this time he was questioned by a careers advisor, and revealed his desire to be a writer. Once she had stopped laughing, she suggested that a career which was more "financially viable" might be advisable. This resulted in him taking science A-levels, and then going on to study Biochemistry at the University of Sussex in 1998.
On graduating, Jamie realised the main problem with this was that he found biochemistry rather boring. Around this time he found out that a handful of universities offered graduate-entry medicine courses. Unfortunately, he did not have much relevant experience, a problem which he sought to rectify by doing various forms of work experience.
Amongst the work experience he undertook, Jamie was grateful to be offered the chance to spend some time in a school for deaf children. He went for two weeks and ended up staying for three and a half years. This was a good thing, as it gave him a chance to get over his home-educated prejudices about the school system, as he really liked the school and began, more generally, to feel that perhaps school wasn't such a bad thing, after all.
This period came to an end, however, when he was offered a place at the University of Warwick to study Medicine in 2006. He enjoyed medicine greatly, and met lots of nice people on the course. He now works as a GP trainee, and finds that writing is a wonderful way to ground himself after long shifts working in the bizarre fantasy world of the NHS. He is currently writing a thinly-veiled autobiographical book about his experiences as a junior doctor. He is still wondering about whether or not to put dragons in.
During this time he has written a fair few short stories which have appeared online and in various anthologies. His first novel, "The Fall of the Angel Nathalie" was published in 2013 by Necro Press, and can be found here or at amazon here.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
December 28, 2018
This is a book of two excellent halves. The first is a collection of “The First Flash Ten” very short stories. The second half – “Diminishing Returns’ – returns to the land before life and the further adventures of Quince and Bob.
The “First Flash Ten” are ultra-short, surreal fantasy stories, that end with even more surreal twists. If you have never read Jamie Brindle’s mini-stories before, then you are in for a treat. And if you are acquainted with his style, then you know to only expect the unexpected. I enjoyed all the ‘Flash’ stories, but three really stood out for me. The first was ‘Worry, Worry, Worry’ about a planet visiting the doctor regarding her worrying health issues: ““But there is something wrong”, said Terri, wringing her continents anxiously. “I know there is. I can just feel it in my plates””. The last line is just perfect – but I cannot quote it here as it would be too much of a spoiler.
The second was “Make it Count”, which I read as an excellent spoof on the Brexit vote and debate – though it may be just that I am currently obsessed by the damage Brexit is causing, and look for analogies that pander to my biases everywhere.
My other favourite was ‘Clean energy’ about running cars on bad thoughts instead of fossil fuels. Like the government encouraging people to switch from petrol to diesel cars – and then discovering that diesel was even more polluting – this ‘clean energy’ is not as clean as it appears.
In “Diminishing Returns”, Bob decides he needs something more in his pre-life, and goes on a short holiday seeking answers. Unfortunately, his actions indirectly cause major problems for Quince, and Bob has to put himself in danger to try to rescue Quince. I really like these characters: Quince is irascible, but protective of Bob and the other Poor Souls, and loveable in his own way. Bob I visualise as the bright yellow Minion of the same name. He is as cute as a non-corporeal being can be, and loyal to a fault.
At 120 pages, this is a quick book to read, or one that you can take a while to savour – one little chapter a day, as a dose of holistic medicine, just to cheer you up. Enjoy!
The “First Flash Ten” are ultra-short, surreal fantasy stories, that end with even more surreal twists. If you have never read Jamie Brindle’s mini-stories before, then you are in for a treat. And if you are acquainted with his style, then you know to only expect the unexpected. I enjoyed all the ‘Flash’ stories, but three really stood out for me. The first was ‘Worry, Worry, Worry’ about a planet visiting the doctor regarding her worrying health issues: ““But there is something wrong”, said Terri, wringing her continents anxiously. “I know there is. I can just feel it in my plates””. The last line is just perfect – but I cannot quote it here as it would be too much of a spoiler.
The second was “Make it Count”, which I read as an excellent spoof on the Brexit vote and debate – though it may be just that I am currently obsessed by the damage Brexit is causing, and look for analogies that pander to my biases everywhere.
My other favourite was ‘Clean energy’ about running cars on bad thoughts instead of fossil fuels. Like the government encouraging people to switch from petrol to diesel cars – and then discovering that diesel was even more polluting – this ‘clean energy’ is not as clean as it appears.
In “Diminishing Returns”, Bob decides he needs something more in his pre-life, and goes on a short holiday seeking answers. Unfortunately, his actions indirectly cause major problems for Quince, and Bob has to put himself in danger to try to rescue Quince. I really like these characters: Quince is irascible, but protective of Bob and the other Poor Souls, and loveable in his own way. Bob I visualise as the bright yellow Minion of the same name. He is as cute as a non-corporeal being can be, and loyal to a fault.
At 120 pages, this is a quick book to read, or one that you can take a while to savour – one little chapter a day, as a dose of holistic medicine, just to cheer you up. Enjoy!
September 11, 2017
The first half of this book is a collection of tiny stories of all sorts of different things. Some are funny, scary, filled with magic and thought provoking. They are interesting reads that leave you wanting just a little bit more. The second half of this book is a short story about a couple of the wonderful characters from the Tales of the Storystream series. If you are familiar with the series, this is a great companion piece. Quince is the salesman of souls. His assistant, Bob, has been recently questioning what happens to the souls in the Land Before Life. Do they remember their past life? What happens after their first life is over? The only problem is that Quince is not going to tell him. Bob needs to get Quince out of the way so he can question these poor souls for himself. Once Quince is gone though, trouble isn’t too far behind.
Overall, this is a great collection of stories. I thoroughly enjoyed escaping to one of my favorite places for a couple hours. This book is short and sweet and well worth the time to read.
Final Rating: 5 Stars
Overall, this is a great collection of stories. I thoroughly enjoyed escaping to one of my favorite places for a couple hours. This book is short and sweet and well worth the time to read.
Final Rating: 5 Stars
June 27, 2018
Jamie Brindle writes huge ideas in tiny stories.
His writing style is beautifully crafted and whimsical; sometimes darkly bitter and sometimes sweetly light.
Each of the tiny stories in this collection stands alone and each one left me feeling pensive, contemplative, hopeful and satisfied.
The titular novella, Diminishing Returns is a slightly longer version of the author’s miniature tales. The characters and setting grab you immediately, and there is exciting action, driving an interesting plot, but again the main take-aways from the text are the feelings and thoughts invoked in the reader.
The sense that things may not be quite right, but they can be fixed, and if they can’t then maybe that’s ok too. The idea that our lives are bigger than our daily grind, and consist of a multitude of tiny moments and actions that contribute to a much bigger picture. The beauty in the small things.
Miraculously the author manages to explore these concepts (as well as the political, the religious/spiritual, the environmental and more) without sounding preachy or pedantic, but with a light, humourous touch that never forgets the entertainment aspect of story-spinning.
I wholly recommend this book to anyone looking for a short, easy read, full of wonder and meaning.
Most people spend their lives asking the wrong question, which is, “What happens after you die?” The right question is of course, “What are you going to do now that you are alive?” But that is a much bigger and scarier question, so most people generally just stick to the death one, and hope that life will sort itself out while they are busy worrying about something else.
– Jamie Brindle, Diminishing Returns
Review by Steph Warren of Bookshine and Readbows blog
https://bookshineandreadbows.wordpres...
His writing style is beautifully crafted and whimsical; sometimes darkly bitter and sometimes sweetly light.
Each of the tiny stories in this collection stands alone and each one left me feeling pensive, contemplative, hopeful and satisfied.
The titular novella, Diminishing Returns is a slightly longer version of the author’s miniature tales. The characters and setting grab you immediately, and there is exciting action, driving an interesting plot, but again the main take-aways from the text are the feelings and thoughts invoked in the reader.
The sense that things may not be quite right, but they can be fixed, and if they can’t then maybe that’s ok too. The idea that our lives are bigger than our daily grind, and consist of a multitude of tiny moments and actions that contribute to a much bigger picture. The beauty in the small things.
Miraculously the author manages to explore these concepts (as well as the political, the religious/spiritual, the environmental and more) without sounding preachy or pedantic, but with a light, humourous touch that never forgets the entertainment aspect of story-spinning.
I wholly recommend this book to anyone looking for a short, easy read, full of wonder and meaning.
Most people spend their lives asking the wrong question, which is, “What happens after you die?” The right question is of course, “What are you going to do now that you are alive?” But that is a much bigger and scarier question, so most people generally just stick to the death one, and hope that life will sort itself out while they are busy worrying about something else.
– Jamie Brindle, Diminishing Returns
Review by Steph Warren of Bookshine and Readbows blog
https://bookshineandreadbows.wordpres...
January 10, 2019
This was insane and I rather loved it.
Ten terrifying flash fiction stories of barely a page or two each. Terrifying because how can something so small hold such big concepts and make sense while also being understandable and witty? That is skill.
Then on to Diminishing Returns, another tale of Quince the giver of Lives to those freshly forged Poor Souls just waiting in line for a chance at Existence. And of course his pseudo-friend/assistant Bob, who has questions that need answers. It'll only cost a great deal of everyone's sanity... Including your own. Reader beware, this metaphysical tale ties your brain in knots (in a good way. I think.) and will leave you with questions about just what existence really is. It's complexities did lose me every so often, but it's hard not to love Bob's earnestness in the face of absurdity. Plus the surreal British humour is a winner for me.
4.5 stars rounded up because mind = blown
Ten terrifying flash fiction stories of barely a page or two each. Terrifying because how can something so small hold such big concepts and make sense while also being understandable and witty? That is skill.
Then on to Diminishing Returns, another tale of Quince the giver of Lives to those freshly forged Poor Souls just waiting in line for a chance at Existence. And of course his pseudo-friend/assistant Bob, who has questions that need answers. It'll only cost a great deal of everyone's sanity... Including your own. Reader beware, this metaphysical tale ties your brain in knots (in a good way. I think.) and will leave you with questions about just what existence really is. It's complexities did lose me every so often, but it's hard not to love Bob's earnestness in the face of absurdity. Plus the surreal British humour is a winner for me.
4.5 stars rounded up because mind = blown
August 14, 2020
Diminishing Returns - a review by Rosemary Kenny
A psychedelic kaleidoscope of tiny tales and the longer, eponymous Book 2 in Jamie Brindle's fantastic The Land Before Life series, is amalgamated into one delicious volume of the same name.
Whatever can that mean? I hear you ask. Well for starters the 'mini-scripts' are no more than a page or two in length, have a variety of ten topics, some thought-provoking, others downright hilarious and all relating to the magical mystery tour we know as Life.
Diminishing Returns itself, forms the second half of this outstanding novella, which would make a great, quirky gift for adults and children alike and an even better addition to your fantasy bookshelf.
Get Jamie Brindle's Diminishing Returns (& Book 1 too), to entertain and amuse you, while chasing away your Covid-19 fears and Lockdown Blues, as you wait for Book 3, coming soon to a bookstore near you!
A psychedelic kaleidoscope of tiny tales and the longer, eponymous Book 2 in Jamie Brindle's fantastic The Land Before Life series, is amalgamated into one delicious volume of the same name.
Whatever can that mean? I hear you ask. Well for starters the 'mini-scripts' are no more than a page or two in length, have a variety of ten topics, some thought-provoking, others downright hilarious and all relating to the magical mystery tour we know as Life.
Diminishing Returns itself, forms the second half of this outstanding novella, which would make a great, quirky gift for adults and children alike and an even better addition to your fantasy bookshelf.
Get Jamie Brindle's Diminishing Returns (& Book 1 too), to entertain and amuse you, while chasing away your Covid-19 fears and Lockdown Blues, as you wait for Book 3, coming soon to a bookstore near you!
September 2, 2017
Initially received a free copy for honest review but loved it so much that I bought my own. If that is not enough to convince you then... oh well, read on.
I love the series in general and the way the books are written makes you wonder what is going on in the either above us. Are we really here or are we in one of Quince's lives trying to get enough experience. Meet Quince, completely this time, see more of his inner workings, the world he inhabits and Bob. The soul with more within him than most and an itching desire to learn more about the afterlife and what happens after these poor souls become more intact. Follow the chaos that ensues between Quince, Bob and Silverlight the mistress of the forges. See more of the world and the life before life.
Also enjoy some short stories that are quick, easy to read, enjoyable and will leave you thinking about long after you have finished them.
I love the series in general and the way the books are written makes you wonder what is going on in the either above us. Are we really here or are we in one of Quince's lives trying to get enough experience. Meet Quince, completely this time, see more of his inner workings, the world he inhabits and Bob. The soul with more within him than most and an itching desire to learn more about the afterlife and what happens after these poor souls become more intact. Follow the chaos that ensues between Quince, Bob and Silverlight the mistress of the forges. See more of the world and the life before life.
Also enjoy some short stories that are quick, easy to read, enjoyable and will leave you thinking about long after you have finished them.
August 18, 2017
I received a ARC and in return I promised to give a fair review of this quirky book. We start with a set of teeny tiny stories each a little gem. My favorite is about a stand-up comedy show. And then we move on to a new Bob and Quince novella, two of my favorite characters from the beginning of time. I think the truth is you have to have a certain twist to your mind to enjoy these stories. I clearly do.
September 2, 2020
Kindle Unlimited now {wasn't before, but most or all of his other books have been} and one of my free books would be nice if you got around to reviewing it but no strings, and his blurb about the email, yeah that's probably why some seem familiar, but I get a LOT of email every single day so bit blurry. Interesting, definitely didn't feel as if wasted my time. Did the amazon review back earlier in august and just now noticed was finally on goodreads so date off.
If this is the Land Before Life, then where do all the Souls come from?Quince is in charge of handing out the lives. But it’s Bob who has all the questions, like: If Quince hands out the lives…who handed out Quince And What happens to the Poor Souls when they come out the other side of Life? But most of all: When do I get a turn? The thing is, how can Bob possibly have a go at running the Land Before Life, if all his boss will let him do is make the tea? But when Bob gets some help in putting Quince out of the way, he finds that running the Land Before Life is much more trouble than he anticipated. Worse, where has Quince even gone? Now Bob has to go on a rescue mission, travelling to the most weird and disturbing place imaginable: Life. Or at least, to a version of it…
Diminishing Returns is a novella set in the Universe of Quince, salesman of fine lives new and used. Please be assured that this story contains levels of strangeness deemed optimal for its smooth unfolding.This collection also contains The First Flash Ten, ten tiny stories of magic, fantasy, humour and horror, which were originally posted on website and were mailed out in newsletter. Each story comes complete with a beautiful illustration, drawn by various artists and inspired by the story in question.These stories are now being cycled out of my website in favour of new stories, which will in turn be released in a collection. So if you want to read the first batch of tiny stories, this is the place to look…
Tiny stories in this collection:
Just Like Vinyl
The Hottest Day
Worry, Worry, Worry
Make It Count
The Next Act At The Divine Comedy Store
First Draft
Why They Chew Us
Extraction
Clean Energy
The Nothing At The Edge Of The Universe
All Quiet In The Western Fold (Tales From The Storystream Book 0) {free when going to writer's site} A Treatise on Blood and Iron A Treatise On Blood And Iron (Tales From The Storystream Book 1) and there is Tales From The Storystream 2??
*probably read more of his, but am rubbish at names and titles
see amazon writer page for list of all his books in general
If this is the Land Before Life, then where do all the Souls come from?Quince is in charge of handing out the lives. But it’s Bob who has all the questions, like: If Quince hands out the lives…who handed out Quince And What happens to the Poor Souls when they come out the other side of Life? But most of all: When do I get a turn? The thing is, how can Bob possibly have a go at running the Land Before Life, if all his boss will let him do is make the tea? But when Bob gets some help in putting Quince out of the way, he finds that running the Land Before Life is much more trouble than he anticipated. Worse, where has Quince even gone? Now Bob has to go on a rescue mission, travelling to the most weird and disturbing place imaginable: Life. Or at least, to a version of it…
Diminishing Returns is a novella set in the Universe of Quince, salesman of fine lives new and used. Please be assured that this story contains levels of strangeness deemed optimal for its smooth unfolding.This collection also contains The First Flash Ten, ten tiny stories of magic, fantasy, humour and horror, which were originally posted on website and were mailed out in newsletter. Each story comes complete with a beautiful illustration, drawn by various artists and inspired by the story in question.These stories are now being cycled out of my website in favour of new stories, which will in turn be released in a collection. So if you want to read the first batch of tiny stories, this is the place to look…
Tiny stories in this collection:
Just Like Vinyl
The Hottest Day
Worry, Worry, Worry
Make It Count
The Next Act At The Divine Comedy Store
First Draft
Why They Chew Us
Extraction
Clean Energy
The Nothing At The Edge Of The Universe
All Quiet In The Western Fold (Tales From The Storystream Book 0) {free when going to writer's site} A Treatise on Blood and Iron A Treatise On Blood And Iron (Tales From The Storystream Book 1) and there is Tales From The Storystream 2??
*probably read more of his, but am rubbish at names and titles
see amazon writer page for list of all his books in general
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews