Prince Harming Syndrome: Stop Toxic Relationships With Narcissists, Liars, and Manipulators: Break Bad Relationship Patterns And Maintain Happy Love

by Karen Salmansohn

Happiness expert, Oprah columnist and best selling author Karen Salmansohn presents Prince Harming Syndrome - a relationship-boosting book - which mixes the latest psychological research on love with the philosophy of Aristotle! (And yes, Prince Harming Syndrome applies equally to Princess Harmings!)

Karen will teach you how to seek out the 5 essentials for true love. Chances are many of these are not presently what you’d normally think about looking for!

For example, one essential is to seek a partner who “values growing.” If your partner doesn’t value growing, then your relationship won’t survive because a relationship is only as strong as its weakest moments – how you each handle stress and conflict. If your partner values growing, during tough times they will be open to discussing problems, meeting your needs and evolving so as to make sure problems don’t keep repeating.

Plus, Prince Harming Syndrome is a call to action for recognizing that there are 3 kinds of relationships – and only 1 will bring true happiness. (Aristotle defines them as: “relationships of pleasure,” “relationships of utility” and “relationships of shared virtue”).

Plus, Prince Harming Syndrome reminds that a relationship serves 2 functions: “den of pleasure” and “laboratory of growth.”

The people at OPRAH loved the advice in Prince Harming Syndrome so much, they not only recommended the book highly on their site, they made Karen a “relationship columnist” – and ran a series of articles about this book as well.

Genres: Self Help, Relationships

229 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 15, 2009

About the author

Karen Salmansohn is a bestselling author (with 2 million books and courses sold), leading behavioral change expert, and columnist for Oprah and Psychology Today, as well as the founder of the popular personal development site NotSalmon.com, which has a vibrant community of 1.5 million followers. Her most recent book is "Your To-Die-For Life: How to Maximize Joy and Minimize Regret . . . Before Your Time Runs Out." She’s been sparking transformations in individuals and companies for a few decades and is passionate about digging deep and finding fascinating insights, tools, and studies from all areas of life, including psychology, Eastern and Western philosophy, neuroscience, quantum physics, and more.

She began writing “self-help for people who wouldn’t be caught dead doing self help” in 1999 with the bestseller How To Be Happy Dammit—the very first personal development book of its kind to have a feisty title, edgy humor, and stylish interior design, which paved the way for self-help authors to write irreverent personal development books. Since then, she’s written many bestsellers, including The Bounce Back Book and Think Happy. Now she’s excited to pioneer the mortality awareness movement by illuminating life’s most avoided conversation—death—and reminding others to live more bravely.

Reviews

[Christine (booktumbling) · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I was asked if I would like to review Prince Harming Syndrome: Break Bad Relationship Patterns for Good – 5 Essentials for Finding True Love (and they’re not what you think!) by Karen Salmansohn I thought to myself, why not? I am not a self-help reader, listener, follower but I definitely have a history of starting relationships with those rough and tumble, sexy, sweet-talking, powerful guys only to find that they are just not long-term material, hence the singledom I am still in today. Maybe I would gain some insight as to why these Prince Harmings are so attractive.

Ms. Salmansohn uses her own experiences, research and some advice from that ol’ love guru Aristotle to differentiate between three kinds of relationships (some for pleasure and one for happiness), to explain the difference between charm and character, and to explain the five essential elements one should include when looking for in a Prince Harming:

1. Does he want to be in a committed relationship?
2. Does he value growing as a person?
3. 4. 5. You will have to read the book to find out.

Ms. Salmansohn encourages the reader to write down what your “happily ever after ending” would include in great detail (including the five elements she lists) and to read and visualize your response for 5 minutes, three times a day. Eventually, visualizing positive images and thoughts will lead to a more positive outlook on relationships and life in general. There are also questions that should be asked of your potential Prince before you devote your self (and/or your body) to them and the relationship. This book is not only about the men. There are chapters devoted to becoming a Princess Charming (”Be The Change You Want To Date”) and breaking the habits that seem to attract those bad boys.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and not only for the visual appeal. There were a few eye-opening moments and times I said “Ah hah – makes sense!”. The writing is fun, practical and straight-forward. A great choice for those looking for their own happily ever after.

Now, you may wonder “who is Karen Salmansohn?” as I did when I first looked at this book. I had not heard of her and was pleasantly surprised to see her extensive background.

* best selling author of 29 other books such as How to be Happy Dammit
* regular blogger on The Huffington Post online
* regular speaker at seminars
* interviewed on The Today Show, The View and Politically Incorrect

When asked why she feels the philosophies of Aristotle (many referenced in her book) are relevant today, she provided this answer:

One of Aristotle’s big philosophies is that many people are unhappy because they foolishly confuse pleasure for happiness – when the two are incredibly different.

1. Pleasure is about immediate gratification and merely brings temporary joy – which is unsatisfying in the long run. Basically, pleasure is all about immediate fleeting gratification of the body and ego.
2. Happiness creates long-haul joy, because it’s all about growing into your highest potential – your best favorite you. True happiness comes when you surround yourself with people and experiences which increase your soul’s self-development – hence the joy lasts as long as you last – because the joy created becomes an integral part of who you are as a unique, and thriving individual.

I would encourage anyone to take a peek at Ms. Salmansohn’s Facebook page website. It is is chock full of tips on dealing with stress, career, being happier (dammit) and of course love including chapter one of Prince Harming

[Shellie (Layers of Thought) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I certainly hate to give poor ratings... actually 1.5 stars.

I tried more than several times to like this book but it just did not happen. I also rarely rate any book this low.

The book is tiny and has an adorable cover. A great concept. It has some decent key ideas. Its just that they are surrounded by information that is unclear and is organized poorly. It also has information which conflicts. I do not recommend this for women who need help in their relationships. I believe it will only confuse a reader more, whom in most cases needs more clarity not less. A good therapist and/or and older woman (or a man for that matter) whom has had successful relationships would be my choice.

If you want a few decent books on relationships and with helping one choose the right partner I suggest the following:

[Anandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

The perfect book to read and reflect on after a break up with my Prince Charming turned Prince Harming. I am living a life I love and am confident knowing that my happily ever after starts with me.

[Margo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me gain some valuable insight into the kind of man I wanted to not only be around, but to date. I am not sure if I am alone in this, but admittedly so, I was once in a poor place in the dating scene and chose not so great of guys, but I am hoping I did my and will continue to do my homework. What you portray is what you will get. So if you are shallow, needy, codependent, and otherwise unmoved to work on yourself, then that is what you will get back. I thought this was a load of crap. Believe me, I took this book and I threw it at the carpet and it chucked it to the point of anger. I wanted to feel that I couldn’t be wrong, and that no way was I making mistakes. These mistakes however, are common mistakes made by some women today who may not see it. Yes it is unfortunate, but maybe we can share and share around to those women. I am positive they will be glad we did. No one wants to be in a bad relationship with a dangerous dude, or a guy who doesn’t see our worth. We have to see ourselves before we see someone else. This book is a guide to getting out of the shadows and back into the light, where you belong, you beautiful star you, is in the sun. You don’t have to be with someone to read this, in fact, if you are with someone, I still encourage you to read it. It will help you build a healthy, rewarding relationship with someone else. Set aside your anger (if you are anything like myself and don’t like change) and take this as your modern day dating coach, which I am sure costs less these days than an actual one does!

[Jus · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Prince Harming Syndrome” by Karen Salmansohn. I was lucky to have an ecopy of this book. @notsalmon I have been following her work online for many years. It’s a great book about how to break free from toxic partners. Cover’s psychological research on modern day relationships with timeless wisdom. Definitely worth a read. Her work promotes positive thinking, great for mental health and wellbeing.

[Megan Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried for three years to finish this book. It has good ideas, but the wall-to-wall jargon is incredibly difficult to put up with.

[Katrina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Are you a girl who dates the bad boy? The guy who is into sex, drugs and rock n' roll, (or rap if you prefer.) Do you always find yourself disappointed that the guys you choose don't seem to care about or respect you? Girl, you have The Prince Harming Syndrome and you need to check out this book right away.
The Prince Harming Syndrome is a no nonsense guide to getting out of the bad boy cycle and finding your Prince Charming. Although, I have already married my prince Charming, I still thought I would read this book. First of all, do you see that cover? I am a sucker for a cool cover and this one was cool inside and out. Each chapter had purple ink to highlight the important parts and a neat leaf on a few pages, great design!
As for the information, I found it to clear cut and to the point with a bit of humor thrown in for good measure, even though some of it was silly. I am not a huge non-fiction fan, especially self-help, but this is self help for those who wouldn't be caught dead with self help. It has the reader utilize visualization, gives list of values that you want your Prince Charming to have (hint, it is not sexiness and money) it also has a chapter on what to do when you realize your Prince Crush is a Prince Harming. My favorite parts have to be the lists (I am a huge list maker) and the re-occurring role of Aristotle, the love guru.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read it first when I just broke up, it was something I couldn't digest then. But re-reading it this time around in lockdown this book was so useful for me to analyse my dating patterns. It is a self reflective book, with a punch of humour and loving the Aristotle reference! By the end of this book, I'm able to rewrite my love story and know not just my dream guy, but also the exact kind of relationship I'm looking to build

[Valerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. I have no boyfriends and no dates since birth so I have no idea about whom I want to date. But after reading this book. It changed my life and I want to follow this guidelines and in the process of looking guys I want to date. I will definitely reread again for more tips. :)

Highly recommended for those who are looking for right soulmate. :)

[Emily]

I enjoy her blog and the "updated" versions of ancient philosophy.
http://notsalmon.com/

[BegumIrdawati · Rating 5 out of 5]

We know all the wrong moves, yet we do it over and over again. Well, the author herself is in hot (frog) soup now with her latest relationship issue.

[Katie Bullock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Besides her over-use of of the exclamation point, I liked it. She had some good insight, for sure. I'm not crazy about self-help books, but this was a good, fast read.

[Anisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely love this book and author. She gave some very wise and insightful advice. Everyone should read this book..

[Fatma · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nice book that certainly tells a lot about building a healthy relationship with the right person.

[Majun Tan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great!