Kate Llewellyn is the author of nineteen books, including the bestselling The Waterlily: A Blue Mountains Journal and Playing With Water: A Story of a Garden. A distinguished Australian poet, she has published six books of poetry and is the co-editor of The Penguin Book of Australian Women Poets. Her travel books include Lilies, Feathers & Frangipani on the Cook Islands and New Zealand; Angels and Dark Madonnas on India and Italy; and Gorillas, Tea & Coffee: An African Sketchbook. Her books The Floral Mother & Other Essays, The Waterlily and Playing With Water have been made into talking books
As I lean over to write one breast warm as a breast from the sun hangs over as if to read what I'm writing these breasts always want to know everything sometimes exploring the inside curve of my elbow sometimes measuring a man's hand lying still as a pond until he cannot feel he is holding anything but water then he dreams he is floating
in the morning my breast is refreshed and wants to know something new although it is soft it is also ambitious we never speak but I know my breast knows me more than I do prying hanging over fences observant as a neighbour or eager as a woman wanting to gossip they tell me nothing but they say quite a lot about me
there is a dark blue river vein here straggling down taking its time to the little pale strawberry picked too soon and left too long in the punnet in a warm shop
when I lie these breasts spread like spilt milk and standing naked in the sea float like figs as you will realise these are my body's curious fruit wanting to know everything always getting there first strange as white beetroot exotic as unicorns useless as an out of order dishwasher more of a nuisance than anything else
some men seem to think highly of them peering and staring what they don't know is the breast stares straight back interested as a reporter
some love them and invest them with glamour but like life they are not glamourous merely dangerous
Mermaid -
Washed up on a thousand mile beach I lay panting and drying in the sun
what miracle brought him to me a small boy with his rod striding down to the sea
he could hardly believe what he saw my hair full of weed scales bleeding from shells
still I was alive he could see and real too
how innocent his naked buttocks flexed as he walked round me then bending grasped my tail and tugging pulled me back to the tide with one thrust under a wave I was gone and he left with a story no-one would believe
no I'm not grateful it's not in my nature I'd do to him what I do to the others
I sit among friends combing our tresses with shells singing and waiting and hoping
we are after all man's deadliest invention of female pure sexless malevolent and deadly
The Path -
We have made a path to each other now we must cover it with sticks and stones
to keep it from the animals sniffing in the dark with a longing snout
deeper than silence we must hide this path if light touches it it will wither it is a path for night it is secret it is a bed of feathers and has no map we must hide this path in our brains
we must not tell our hearts it's too dangerous for the heart the poor fool pounding on and on always the wrong track tripping over boulders and tree roots bleeding and sobbing longing to be told no it is our secret I would not trust it to a heart
The Rock Pool -
Under the overhanging rock the light shows movies of itself to the water the water reflects over and over as we watch nothing here has changed much Aristotle was speaking while this movie went on
in the pool you show me tiny things skittering faster than your finger directing them like a conductor to go here under this sand it will sound deeper and wiser but they defiant as I skither on the skin of the water's terror rushing from the white finger of a terrible god that knows all but what they know and the beat of their tiny hearts
The Fish -
In the morning the fish remember the night how they swam in the warm dark sea over and over sliding together then resting floating their tender gills blowing
the seaweed went past but they didn't see it waving at their sleeping gills safe from all Japanese divers and small biscuits served with a gin
when even the seaweed feels safe as this the fish begin to dream they dream they are silver and their scales have become skin
their fins grow into arms they put their beautiful arms around each other and lie in the dark face to face stroking smiling and murmuring words only fish know
Hope -
A thousand delicious decisions to write a poem above all apart from all other things one needs hope
daily I wonder at it in the depths of slums and dogs and sewers people have hope in the morning they look at the sky and hope for good weather or a shirt or enough food today or the health of a child or that the new one may not be born maimed
we are in love with this woman she is a ghost we have invented we love her more than any living love they are merely a vehicle for this other love this is the love of our life
all of us face an allotment of time and then a fullstop yet we wear watches and look at them hopefully waiting for time to pass for the next train or the arrival of the visitor or the child home from school or dinner no we don't look and shudder hope comes in time's clothes we adore her draperies worship her little sandals like antique numerals how we love it when the wind blows her skirts and the tiny feet visibly move on and on as if she was in an olive grove under dark hills with two others linked to her arms she the only one we have eyes for more beautiful to us now than the others hope hope what will we do when you're gone?