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If You Only Knew
A wife, a mother, a killer. One wrong decision, one terrifying night, leaves student Elizabeth with a stark choice – kill or be killed. And the consequences of that choice will shape her whole life. Now a wife, a mother, and a lawyer, she must find a way to out run her past, protect her family and live with her secret. But is it really possible to live a happy life with such a huge shadow cast by the past? And as it becomes clear that someone else knows her secret and is hunting her down, time is running out for Elizabeth to keep her family safe. In the bestselling tradition of Clare Mackintosh and Jenny Blackhurst, Cynthia Clark has written a heart-stopping story about the choices we make and how far we'd go to protect our families. Even if it means deceiving the people we love most. . .
299 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2017
81 people are currently reading
496 people want to read
About the author
Cynthia Clark
1 book11 followersCynthia Clark was born and brought up in Malta, where she graduated in Communications and went to work for a daily newspaper. She spent a few years living in New York, where she worked as a writer in online business journals, before moving to London and starting to write If You Only Knew. She now lives in Philadelphia with her husband and their twin daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
January 5, 2023
If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark
Narrated by Jessica Preddy
The first timeline starts sixteen years ago when college student, Elizabeth, is forced to kill to save her life. No one could fault her for what she did although most people would probably suggest she take different actions afterwards. But Elizabeth was scared, upset, and traumatized so she took actions that will keep her looking over her shoulder forever. The memories never fade and she suffers from untreated PTSD and horrible nightmares. Her husband, Miles, knows she is hiding something but can't get her to open up to him.
The present day timeline gives us Elizabeth as a successful lawyer who will do pro bono work on the side for girls and women who need protection from abusers. Elizabeth, Miles, and their two children live in a very nice neighborhood and have a mature for her age teenage babysitter that the kids adore. Life is good except that Elizabeth's secrets eat at her all the time and her relationship with Miles isn't really as idyllic as it might look on the outside.
And now she is getting notes from someone who knows what happened all those years ago. As the threats continue, Elizabeth's nightmares get worse and she has panic attacks. She cannot lose her family after losing so much in the past. Yet her secrets are driving Miles away and are possibly clouding her work decisions. There is more to the story than I am mentioning but I just have to say that Miles makes me very mad.
The audiobook narration is very good and I'll be looking for more books narrated by Jessica Preddy. I will also read more by Cynthia Clark. Even though I can't understand all of Elizabeth's earlier actions she has my sympathy. Do be aware that there is a graphic assault toward the beginning of the story.
Pub October 1, 2017
Thank you to Saga Egmont Audio and NetGalley for this ARC.
Narrated by Jessica Preddy
The first timeline starts sixteen years ago when college student, Elizabeth, is forced to kill to save her life. No one could fault her for what she did although most people would probably suggest she take different actions afterwards. But Elizabeth was scared, upset, and traumatized so she took actions that will keep her looking over her shoulder forever. The memories never fade and she suffers from untreated PTSD and horrible nightmares. Her husband, Miles, knows she is hiding something but can't get her to open up to him.
The present day timeline gives us Elizabeth as a successful lawyer who will do pro bono work on the side for girls and women who need protection from abusers. Elizabeth, Miles, and their two children live in a very nice neighborhood and have a mature for her age teenage babysitter that the kids adore. Life is good except that Elizabeth's secrets eat at her all the time and her relationship with Miles isn't really as idyllic as it might look on the outside.
And now she is getting notes from someone who knows what happened all those years ago. As the threats continue, Elizabeth's nightmares get worse and she has panic attacks. She cannot lose her family after losing so much in the past. Yet her secrets are driving Miles away and are possibly clouding her work decisions. There is more to the story than I am mentioning but I just have to say that Miles makes me very mad.
The audiobook narration is very good and I'll be looking for more books narrated by Jessica Preddy. I will also read more by Cynthia Clark. Even though I can't understand all of Elizabeth's earlier actions she has my sympathy. Do be aware that there is a graphic assault toward the beginning of the story.
Pub October 1, 2017
Thank you to Saga Egmont Audio and NetGalley for this ARC.
September 13, 2017
One night while at university Elizabeth was riding her bike when a truck came upon her and knocked her down. The drive apologized and offered to pay for the damages to her bike and give her a ride back to the school. Not seeing a better option Elizabeth got into his vehicle only to find herself awakening hours later in a windowless shack in the middle of nowhere half dressed which led to Elizabeth's biggest secret of her life that she's been tormented from ever since that horrific night.
Now years later Elizabeth is a successful lawyer and loving mother and wife but still lives with the secret that has haunted her all these years. Elizabeth has spent her life trying to make up for that horrific night and now takes on cases of rape and abuse to help other young girls. Her latest pro bono case has her working late hours and hits very close to home for Elizabeth.
First, when picking up If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark I was expecting this book to be a mystery/thriller read but it really isn't so that might disappoint some readers. I would best say that this one would fall under more of a suspenseful drama read since we know right from the beginning what happened to Elizabeth that night and what she was forced to do and the book is building up to what happens now, years after the event.
For those that may be bothered I would also warn that this one contains graphic details of rape so some may want to give this a pass if that would bother them. This intense night at the beginning of the story certainly had me cringing but it also put me on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen in the rest of the story. I became hooked with getting to know Elizabeth and where the story would end up so despite the lack of twists and turns of a thriller the book still became quite intriguing along the way.
I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.
For more reviews please visit https://carriesbookreviews.wordpress....
Now years later Elizabeth is a successful lawyer and loving mother and wife but still lives with the secret that has haunted her all these years. Elizabeth has spent her life trying to make up for that horrific night and now takes on cases of rape and abuse to help other young girls. Her latest pro bono case has her working late hours and hits very close to home for Elizabeth.
First, when picking up If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark I was expecting this book to be a mystery/thriller read but it really isn't so that might disappoint some readers. I would best say that this one would fall under more of a suspenseful drama read since we know right from the beginning what happened to Elizabeth that night and what she was forced to do and the book is building up to what happens now, years after the event.
For those that may be bothered I would also warn that this one contains graphic details of rape so some may want to give this a pass if that would bother them. This intense night at the beginning of the story certainly had me cringing but it also put me on the edge of my seat wondering what would happen in the rest of the story. I became hooked with getting to know Elizabeth and where the story would end up so despite the lack of twists and turns of a thriller the book still became quite intriguing along the way.
I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.
For more reviews please visit https://carriesbookreviews.wordpress....
October 29, 2022
Arc Reviewed By Beckie Bookworm
https://www.beckiebookworm.com/
If You Only Knew By Cynthia Clark was a good read, It's the sort of book I would pack for my holidays to read around the pool not too taxing but a very enjoyable read nonetheless.
This Novel revolves around Elizabeth and explores how the numerous wrong decisions made on one single night can impact and shape the course of our lives the repercussions echoing down through the years affecting our lives dramatically.
It's a bit like a pebble thrown into a pond, the ripple effect, who knows where it ends.
"So If You Only Knew" is told from two timelines, the then and the now.
So as the reader we are fully aware, eyes wide open from the start. Elizabeth's secret is also ours. we get to experience all the fear, longing and confusion alongside her.
This works as we get to walk in her shoe's hearing her private thoughts.
It helps to build a sense of sympathy and solidarity as we get to feel the pain and panic first hand, making us feel somewhat closer, almost a friend, the only other person in the know.
Like being part of some secret exclusive club.
So we have the "THEN" which consists of a narration and walkthrough of the big secret.
And the "NOW" seventeen years later where Elizabeth is now a wife, mother and successful lawyer.
and we get to have a ringside seat as all the ripples settle and Elizabeth has to deal with a past that has finally caught up on her.
So "If Only You Knew" is not really a mystery as you the reader, are aware throughout of what is going on. There are no big reveals and no unexpected twists.
This was a minus for me as I kept waiting for the penny to drop, a big twist and there just wasn't one.
Also, I found the husbands Attitude "Miles" extremely hypocritical, considering what is revealed about his own past actions, I really couldn't take to him, talk about a lack of sympathy.
Yes, I could understand his shock and anger at his wife, but when the dust finally settled and he had time to think and reflect, you'd think he would have behaved in a much warmer manner towards his wife and the mother of his children.
The woman he supposedly loves, the wife who is aware of his deepest dark secret, The wife who didn't judge him,
Unlike Miles !!!
Talk about needing to man up.
despite these two above points, this was a good solid read that I would definitely recommend.
It was well written and flowed brilliantly making this a very easy entertaining read.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for providing me with a free Arc of "If only you knew" By Cynthia Clark. This is my own personal unbiased opinion.
Reviewed By Beckie Bookworm
https://www.beckiebookworm.com/
https://www.facebook.com/beckiebookworm/
https://www.beckiebookworm.com/
If You Only Knew By Cynthia Clark was a good read, It's the sort of book I would pack for my holidays to read around the pool not too taxing but a very enjoyable read nonetheless.
This Novel revolves around Elizabeth and explores how the numerous wrong decisions made on one single night can impact and shape the course of our lives the repercussions echoing down through the years affecting our lives dramatically.
It's a bit like a pebble thrown into a pond, the ripple effect, who knows where it ends.
"So If You Only Knew" is told from two timelines, the then and the now.
So as the reader we are fully aware, eyes wide open from the start. Elizabeth's secret is also ours. we get to experience all the fear, longing and confusion alongside her.
This works as we get to walk in her shoe's hearing her private thoughts.
It helps to build a sense of sympathy and solidarity as we get to feel the pain and panic first hand, making us feel somewhat closer, almost a friend, the only other person in the know.
Like being part of some secret exclusive club.
So we have the "THEN" which consists of a narration and walkthrough of the big secret.
And the "NOW" seventeen years later where Elizabeth is now a wife, mother and successful lawyer.
and we get to have a ringside seat as all the ripples settle and Elizabeth has to deal with a past that has finally caught up on her.
So "If Only You Knew" is not really a mystery as you the reader, are aware throughout of what is going on. There are no big reveals and no unexpected twists.
This was a minus for me as I kept waiting for the penny to drop, a big twist and there just wasn't one.
Also, I found the husbands Attitude "Miles" extremely hypocritical, considering what is revealed about his own past actions, I really couldn't take to him, talk about a lack of sympathy.
Yes, I could understand his shock and anger at his wife, but when the dust finally settled and he had time to think and reflect, you'd think he would have behaved in a much warmer manner towards his wife and the mother of his children.
The woman he supposedly loves, the wife who is aware of his deepest dark secret, The wife who didn't judge him,
Unlike Miles !!!
Talk about needing to man up.
despite these two above points, this was a good solid read that I would definitely recommend.
It was well written and flowed brilliantly making this a very easy entertaining read.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for providing me with a free Arc of "If only you knew" By Cynthia Clark. This is my own personal unbiased opinion.
Reviewed By Beckie Bookworm
https://www.beckiebookworm.com/
https://www.facebook.com/beckiebookworm/
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 9, 2017
It started with one mistake .... she got into a car with a man she didn't know. The reader can almost guess what happened next. Almost ... but not quite. She was assaulted and in her desperation to get away from him, she killed him. And in her fear and panic, she cleaned up everything, went home, and never told another soul what had happened.
16 years later, Elizabeth is a wife, married to her college sweetheart, mom to 2 wonderful children. She works as an attorney.
But now someone has found her and knows her secret .... and they're going to make her pay.
Elizabeth has fought so hard to get where she is .... but her past is catching up with her. And if it comes out, she will lose her family, her license, .. and someone else she has gotten close to. So what will she do to protect herself and all those she loves?
This is a terrific debut novel. Well-written character development. A story premise that had me leaking a few tears along the way.
Many thanks to the author / Aria Publishing / Netgalley for the digital copy of this thriller. Opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.
October 12, 2017
I really didn't know how excellent this book would be, that despite all that is happening at the moment and my life being quite hectic that when I could sit and read this book would draw me in so much that I was able to completely switch off from daily life around me and relax.
Imagine you had a secret, imagine you had a huge secret that would alter the entire adult structure of your adult life that you have built.
Things you wanted hidden. What a very heavy burden this would be, continually looking over your shoulder. Living a lie.
Hiding it from your family, from your husband that would shatter everything into tiny pieces.
Doubled with a fear of RED.
The colour that brings nightmares.
Frightening your children when they spill ketchup.
Miles her husband is unaware of her past. He thinks she needs help.
Miles the doctor.
Miles who wants to help, but doesn't know anything about her past.
Wait until he finds out.
I just adored this read, it gone into my top 10
My thanks to Aria and net galley
Imagine you had a secret, imagine you had a huge secret that would alter the entire adult structure of your adult life that you have built.
Things you wanted hidden. What a very heavy burden this would be, continually looking over your shoulder. Living a lie.
Hiding it from your family, from your husband that would shatter everything into tiny pieces.
Doubled with a fear of RED.
The colour that brings nightmares.
Frightening your children when they spill ketchup.
Miles her husband is unaware of her past. He thinks she needs help.
Miles the doctor.
Miles who wants to help, but doesn't know anything about her past.
Wait until he finds out.
I just adored this read, it gone into my top 10
My thanks to Aria and net galley
October 10, 2017
EXCERPT:'.....there was the crisp white envelope with my name written in a handwriting I didn't recognize and no sender's address.
Tearing open the envelope, I'd taken out the plain sheet of paper.
I FINALLY FOUND YOU, was written in block capitals. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY.'
THE BLURB: A wife, a mother, a killer.
One wrong decision, one terrifying night, leaves student Elizabeth with a stark choice – kill or be killed. And the consequences of that choice will shape her whole life.
Now a wife, a mother, and a lawyer, she must find a way to out run her past, protect her family and live with her secret. But is it really possible to live a happy life with such a huge shadow cast by the past? And as it becomes clear that someone else knows her secret and is hunting her down, time is running out for Elizabeth to keep her family safe.
In the bestselling tradition of Clare Mackintosh and Jenny Blackhurst, Cynthia Clark has written a heart-stopping story about the choices we make and how far we'd go to protect our families. Even if it means deceiving the people we love most...
MY THOUGHTS: Living with guilt must be one of the hardest things to do. I can imagine it eating away at you rather like the sea undermining a cliff face. On top, everything looks fine. Underneath, the foundations are crumbling.
And that pretty much sums up Elizabeth's life. When she made her decision, she had no idea how far the repercussions would reach over the years, nor that she would have to keep adding layer upon layer of lies to keep her secret safe.
Cynthia Clark has written an absorbing and unpredictable story of a woman trapped by the undertow of her past. If You Only Knew is a tale of duplicity, one that packs quite an emotional punch. She has captured the raw emotions of a woman whose carefully constructed facade is being systematically demolished around her, but who cannot give up trying to resurrect and shore up that facade despite knowing that she is ultimately fighting a losing battle; a woman who knows that when she finally loses the battle, she is likely to lose everything and everyone she loves.
As I said, If You Only Knew packs quite an emotional punch. I held my breath in anticipation, I got angry, I was sad, frustrated, and shook my head in denial. I guess you could call it an interactive read! But one thing I never felt was bored.
Thank you to Aria via Netgalley for providing a digital copy of If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the 'about' page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
Tearing open the envelope, I'd taken out the plain sheet of paper.
I FINALLY FOUND YOU, was written in block capitals. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY.'
THE BLURB: A wife, a mother, a killer.
One wrong decision, one terrifying night, leaves student Elizabeth with a stark choice – kill or be killed. And the consequences of that choice will shape her whole life.
Now a wife, a mother, and a lawyer, she must find a way to out run her past, protect her family and live with her secret. But is it really possible to live a happy life with such a huge shadow cast by the past? And as it becomes clear that someone else knows her secret and is hunting her down, time is running out for Elizabeth to keep her family safe.
In the bestselling tradition of Clare Mackintosh and Jenny Blackhurst, Cynthia Clark has written a heart-stopping story about the choices we make and how far we'd go to protect our families. Even if it means deceiving the people we love most...
MY THOUGHTS: Living with guilt must be one of the hardest things to do. I can imagine it eating away at you rather like the sea undermining a cliff face. On top, everything looks fine. Underneath, the foundations are crumbling.
And that pretty much sums up Elizabeth's life. When she made her decision, she had no idea how far the repercussions would reach over the years, nor that she would have to keep adding layer upon layer of lies to keep her secret safe.
Cynthia Clark has written an absorbing and unpredictable story of a woman trapped by the undertow of her past. If You Only Knew is a tale of duplicity, one that packs quite an emotional punch. She has captured the raw emotions of a woman whose carefully constructed facade is being systematically demolished around her, but who cannot give up trying to resurrect and shore up that facade despite knowing that she is ultimately fighting a losing battle; a woman who knows that when she finally loses the battle, she is likely to lose everything and everyone she loves.
As I said, If You Only Knew packs quite an emotional punch. I held my breath in anticipation, I got angry, I was sad, frustrated, and shook my head in denial. I guess you could call it an interactive read! But one thing I never felt was bored.
Thank you to Aria via Netgalley for providing a digital copy of If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own. Please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page or the 'about' page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com for an explanation of my rating system. This review and others are also published on my blog sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 1, 2017
When Liz was at university she made a mistake that changed her life forever. 15 years later she still holds that secret.. but for how long? Questions start being asked and it all threatens to be revealed. This was very much a page turner and I needed to fimd out what would happen to all the characters. Thanks to Netgalley and Aria for a copy of this book to read and review
December 30, 2017
The story flicks between past and present day so that we see head on what happened to Elizabeth and how she deals with it as well as how it is affecting her every day life in the present.
Due to what Elizabeth has been through, I think she feels she owes it to help women and girls that have gone through similar to her. As a lawyer she is in a very demanding job as it is but she takes on cases on top of her towering work load which causes issues with her boss as well as at home with her husband.
You can't help but feel for Elizabeth. What she goes through as a student would be enough to send anyone off the rails. She is very focused on what she wants and she is determined not to let it ruin her life. Only problem is you can never really out run your past and it always has a way of rearing it's ugly head.
If You Only Knew is a story of lies and secrets which you know are inevitably going to come out. There is a wonderful amount of build up and tension which guarantees the reader will keep turning the pages. Great read.
Due to what Elizabeth has been through, I think she feels she owes it to help women and girls that have gone through similar to her. As a lawyer she is in a very demanding job as it is but she takes on cases on top of her towering work load which causes issues with her boss as well as at home with her husband.
You can't help but feel for Elizabeth. What she goes through as a student would be enough to send anyone off the rails. She is very focused on what she wants and she is determined not to let it ruin her life. Only problem is you can never really out run your past and it always has a way of rearing it's ugly head.
If You Only Knew is a story of lies and secrets which you know are inevitably going to come out. There is a wonderful amount of build up and tension which guarantees the reader will keep turning the pages. Great read.
January 3, 2018
An intelligent and thought provoking debut; this book deals with many issues considered frightening or taboo - from stranger abduction to unplanned pregnancy to murder.
Elizabeth is a successful lawyer specialising in the representation of abuse victims. Her latest client is fifteen year old Chloe, accused of the gross bodily harm of a former partner. Her ability to empathise with clients like Chloe sparks from her own secret past and a traumatic event which shaped the course of her future.
I enjoyed this book and for the most part thought it was well written and detailed in the areas that count most. Towards the final third I found it becoming a little repetitive but nonetheless I’m glad I continued to read and find out how the story concluded. There were a few threads of the story I would have liked to have seen closed differently though. I’m likely to read this author again, she has good potential for her second book.
Elizabeth is a successful lawyer specialising in the representation of abuse victims. Her latest client is fifteen year old Chloe, accused of the gross bodily harm of a former partner. Her ability to empathise with clients like Chloe sparks from her own secret past and a traumatic event which shaped the course of her future.
I enjoyed this book and for the most part thought it was well written and detailed in the areas that count most. Towards the final third I found it becoming a little repetitive but nonetheless I’m glad I continued to read and find out how the story concluded. There were a few threads of the story I would have liked to have seen closed differently though. I’m likely to read this author again, she has good potential for her second book.
January 11, 2024
Fast paced, well written and easy to read story.
October 23, 2017
With thanks to Netgalley and Aria for this ARC in exchange for an open and honest review.
Seventeen years ago university student Elizabeth was riding her bike back to halls when she was struck by a lorry. The driver was charming and apologetic, when he offered her lift home she thought why not.
Elizabeth woke up hours later kept prisoner in a shed in the middle of nowhere. Once she had come round he viciously raped her. When he was about to rape her again Elizabeth found a piece of jagged glass on the floor and stabbed him in the neck. Elizabeth was in shock and felt she could not go to the police so she walked back to university pushing her bicycle back in the dark. She never mentioned the rape or killing to anyone and vowed to put it behind her.
In the present day Elizabeth is lawyer and part owner of a solicitors practice. She is married to Miles who she met at university and they have two children. Her carefully constructed life starts to unravel when someone close starts raking through their past.
I can't say much more in case I ruin the story. But I have to say, this book has left me speechless it was so good. The tension the author created was palpable, I could practically hear the clock ticking as Elizabeth's secret was about to be revealed.
You find out what happened to Elizabeth early in the story, but this made me understand the lengths she went to protect herself. The character I disliked was Miles because who wanted Elizabeth to confess because he could not live with himself knowing the truth.
I highly recommend this book and give it 5 stars. I look forward to Cynthia Clark's next book.
Seventeen years ago university student Elizabeth was riding her bike back to halls when she was struck by a lorry. The driver was charming and apologetic, when he offered her lift home she thought why not.
Elizabeth woke up hours later kept prisoner in a shed in the middle of nowhere. Once she had come round he viciously raped her. When he was about to rape her again Elizabeth found a piece of jagged glass on the floor and stabbed him in the neck. Elizabeth was in shock and felt she could not go to the police so she walked back to university pushing her bicycle back in the dark. She never mentioned the rape or killing to anyone and vowed to put it behind her.
In the present day Elizabeth is lawyer and part owner of a solicitors practice. She is married to Miles who she met at university and they have two children. Her carefully constructed life starts to unravel when someone close starts raking through their past.
I can't say much more in case I ruin the story. But I have to say, this book has left me speechless it was so good. The tension the author created was palpable, I could practically hear the clock ticking as Elizabeth's secret was about to be revealed.
You find out what happened to Elizabeth early in the story, but this made me understand the lengths she went to protect herself. The character I disliked was Miles because who wanted Elizabeth to confess because he could not live with himself knowing the truth.
I highly recommend this book and give it 5 stars. I look forward to Cynthia Clark's next book.
February 6, 2018
I loved this book! The only thing I can't believe is that it's a debut novel. WHAT? The writing was so good in this one, it was such a page turner, so easy to read. It kept me on the edge of my seat especially towards the end and honestly I have nothing bad to say. I really enjoyed it, here's to my first five star book of 2018.!
I'm also so mad at myself for not reading it sooner. I just loved everything, so I will not keep rambling here because this review makes no sense, but go and read it! You'll not regret it. At least I don't think you will.
+I really love the cover as well. It was actually a cover pick for me and I just got sooo lucky with this. Especially considering that it's a debut novel. It could have gone so badly. But it didn't. Again, highly recommend to everyone who likes the genre. Definitely will read this author again if I get the chance.
Thanks NetGally!
I'm also so mad at myself for not reading it sooner. I just loved everything, so I will not keep rambling here because this review makes no sense, but go and read it! You'll not regret it. At least I don't think you will.
+I really love the cover as well. It was actually a cover pick for me and I just got sooo lucky with this. Especially considering that it's a debut novel. It could have gone so badly. But it didn't. Again, highly recommend to everyone who likes the genre. Definitely will read this author again if I get the chance.
Thanks NetGally!
August 22, 2017
Well, as the first person reviewing this book for GR, I'm glad to have some nice things to say about it. Though as it is often the case it's a mixed bag. So here we go...Elizabeth is a killer. It's her one dark secret, the one she spent nearly 17 years trying to hide. She's built herself a perfect life, career, children, etc. But she just can't seem to process her guilt properly and store it away somewhere in the attic of her mind. And so eventually when her past comes back to haunt her, her perfect life starts to unravel, one dramatic thread at a time. How is this one different from a seemingly infinite number of female authored female driven thrillers on the market currently? Well, it isn't all that different, the quality of writing is steadily above average, the pacing (mostly owing to the present tense narrative style) is very nice, the plotting is decent enough. One of the main differences is that this isn't a mystery, there's no guess work or mind blowing plot twists. It's a suspense thriller with elements of both permanently present, but if you're going in expecting to exercise your armchair detective muscles, you'll end up disappointed. This one is much more on the dramatic side of things and there's no shortage of drama. Legal and otherwise. Actually those aspects of the book were something of a detractor for me. Yes, apparently we live in a society that would sooner punish a woman for killing a serial rapist/murderer than reward her, but aside from that...this was just so aggressively pro life. Not one but two rape victims (one barely in her teens) choose to have the products of their rape. Really? Ok. Well, the author was pregnant with twins at the time of writing, so it was certainly a baby driven mindset at work. Anyway, this is an easy quick read, perfectly suited for a beach read probably. It's more compelling than the cheesy generic cover promises and quite entertaining for what it is. Thanks Netgalley.
October 21, 2017
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review. This was a very intriguing drama that held my attention throughout. Elizabeth was abducted and assaulted when she was in college and though she was able to escape her life was forever changed. I really don't want to give any of the story away because it's a pretty daring plot. A good, addicting read.
February 18, 2018
Easy to read but so frustrating. I get that a book quite often needs conflict, or characters making bad decisions to fuel a plot line but this just drove me a little bit nutty at times. Decision after decision where I wanted to shake the character - lots of convenient plot choices and just a bit unbelievable for me. It was okay, but only 2/5 sadly.
January 2, 2024
Full review to follow on my blog tour date - 30th October 2017.
October 12, 2017
Wow what a tense read! I feel like I can breathe normally again now I've finished it!
Secrets always have a way of coming out and this book shows that even if you move to a different country, the truth will come out.
I really enjoyed this book and really felt for the main character, Elizabeth.
Something happens to her when she is at University and it has huge repercussions on her life. I can't say much more without spoiling it but I can say I loved the way the story was told.
Right up until the end you are kept on the edge of your seat and it makes you desperate to know how it's all going to end.
Thanks to NetGalley and Aria publishers for sending me an advance copy to read and review.
Secrets always have a way of coming out and this book shows that even if you move to a different country, the truth will come out.
I really enjoyed this book and really felt for the main character, Elizabeth.
Something happens to her when she is at University and it has huge repercussions on her life. I can't say much more without spoiling it but I can say I loved the way the story was told.
Right up until the end you are kept on the edge of your seat and it makes you desperate to know how it's all going to end.
Thanks to NetGalley and Aria publishers for sending me an advance copy to read and review.
October 16, 2017
I was given a free digital copy of this book by Aria Publishing and Netgalley for an honest review. Awesome book by a debut author. College student Elizabeth is riding her bike back to campus late one night when she is hit by a car. She is uninjured but her bike is a mess so the man that hit her offers her a ride. This is when her life takes a new direction. Events occur that Elizabeth conceals and she lives for years with the fear of it all coming out. She goes on to become a successful lawyer and gets married and has a family, while always being worried about her secrets becoming uncovered, because now she has more than one secret. The book is very riveting as we go along with Elizabeth while she tries to keep her life together which is increasingly becoming more difficult. The suspense starts at the beginning of the book and carries through until the end. The characters are well written in the story and it feels well rounded. Overall a great book. Looking forward to more from this author.
December 26, 2017
4.5*
I'd never heard of author Cynthia Clark till I came across the attractive cover of this book on Facebook. Reading the blurb I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more. In no time I found myself going through the first chapter of this book and it didn't take me long to become completely absorbed by Elizabeth's terrifying ordeal.
This book is about secrets, how secrets can mold, dictate and even ruin one's life.
"And the longer you keep a secret, the more it crushes your soul, making you want to scream, scratch at your skin, tear your hair out."
Elizabeth Perkins is a successful lawyer, a wife and a mother. To the outside world and to her own family, Elizabeth is just another busy career woman struggling to balance her life between her job and family. But Elizabeth hides a terrible secret. Fifteen years earlier, when she was still a law student, she did something horrible, a mistake which she has regretted ever since and which she has never shared with anyone, not even her husband. Through the years, Elizabeth has locked herself up in a trap of her own making, desperate to share her burden with someone else but knowing that she would and could never be understood.
"What have I done?"
But someone, somewhere knows what she did back then and this person is getting closer to her, threatening to expose her secret and destroy the life she has so painstakingly built. Who is this person? Why would they want to do this to her? Will she be able to keep the secret locked for much longer? What would she do and what would happen to her and her family when the truth is exposed?
In this book the victim is the killer and the killer is the victim. Try figure that one out!! Yes, just mind-blowing!
As I was reading, I was constantly on tenterhooks, biting my nails and rooting for Elizabeth, knowing that even though what she had done was wrong, she wasn't entirely guilty. I know that many people, including myself, would probably have done the same thing if found in her situation. But I'm not sure I would have been able to cover up such a secret for so long. We are told what happened at the beginning, so we're aware all along what Elizabeth feels guilty about.
The bulk of the story concentrates on Elizabeth in the present day, as she's slowly but surely cracking under the pressure of harbouring such a terrible secret. As she lives constantly in fear, watching behind her shoulders, waiting for the day when someone completes the puzzle and she's made to pay for what she did. As she's secretly struggling to cope with her burden, avoiding the triggers that could make her lose control while at the same time keeping everything hidden from everyone, especially her ever more suspicious husband.
This book is a very well-written, heart-pounding, nerve-racking read that kept me on the edge of my seat till the very end. The plot may not be one of the fastest and there may not be any exceptional twists, however the tension is constant throughout and it keeps increasing till the end. I was desperate to find out how it will all end, what would happen to Elizabeth, whether she would be exposed or if she would be made to pay dearly for what she did.
I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it. I just can't believe this is the author's debut thriller!
For more of my reviews visit: http://www.relaxandreadreviews.weebly...
I'd never heard of author Cynthia Clark till I came across the attractive cover of this book on Facebook. Reading the blurb I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more. In no time I found myself going through the first chapter of this book and it didn't take me long to become completely absorbed by Elizabeth's terrifying ordeal.
This book is about secrets, how secrets can mold, dictate and even ruin one's life.
"And the longer you keep a secret, the more it crushes your soul, making you want to scream, scratch at your skin, tear your hair out."
Elizabeth Perkins is a successful lawyer, a wife and a mother. To the outside world and to her own family, Elizabeth is just another busy career woman struggling to balance her life between her job and family. But Elizabeth hides a terrible secret. Fifteen years earlier, when she was still a law student, she did something horrible, a mistake which she has regretted ever since and which she has never shared with anyone, not even her husband. Through the years, Elizabeth has locked herself up in a trap of her own making, desperate to share her burden with someone else but knowing that she would and could never be understood.
"What have I done?"
But someone, somewhere knows what she did back then and this person is getting closer to her, threatening to expose her secret and destroy the life she has so painstakingly built. Who is this person? Why would they want to do this to her? Will she be able to keep the secret locked for much longer? What would she do and what would happen to her and her family when the truth is exposed?
In this book the victim is the killer and the killer is the victim. Try figure that one out!! Yes, just mind-blowing!
As I was reading, I was constantly on tenterhooks, biting my nails and rooting for Elizabeth, knowing that even though what she had done was wrong, she wasn't entirely guilty. I know that many people, including myself, would probably have done the same thing if found in her situation. But I'm not sure I would have been able to cover up such a secret for so long. We are told what happened at the beginning, so we're aware all along what Elizabeth feels guilty about.
The bulk of the story concentrates on Elizabeth in the present day, as she's slowly but surely cracking under the pressure of harbouring such a terrible secret. As she lives constantly in fear, watching behind her shoulders, waiting for the day when someone completes the puzzle and she's made to pay for what she did. As she's secretly struggling to cope with her burden, avoiding the triggers that could make her lose control while at the same time keeping everything hidden from everyone, especially her ever more suspicious husband.
This book is a very well-written, heart-pounding, nerve-racking read that kept me on the edge of my seat till the very end. The plot may not be one of the fastest and there may not be any exceptional twists, however the tension is constant throughout and it keeps increasing till the end. I was desperate to find out how it will all end, what would happen to Elizabeth, whether she would be exposed or if she would be made to pay dearly for what she did.
I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it. I just can't believe this is the author's debut thriller!
For more of my reviews visit: http://www.relaxandreadreviews.weebly...
October 5, 2017
Having read this book, I actaully can't believe that it is the author's debut novel. It was a highly entertaining read, where I was gripped right from the very first page, could not turn the pages quick enough.
The storyline was addictively good, kept me gripped throughout and anxiously wondering how it would all end and what the outcome would be for Elizabeth.
I was slightly surprised by the ending, as it didn't end quite how I thought it would end, but it was still good.
If you are looking for a fast paced suspense read, then be sure to give this one a go.
The storyline was addictively good, kept me gripped throughout and anxiously wondering how it would all end and what the outcome would be for Elizabeth.
I was slightly surprised by the ending, as it didn't end quite how I thought it would end, but it was still good.
If you are looking for a fast paced suspense read, then be sure to give this one a go.
December 15, 2022
DNF at 20%
Can we please stop raping women in every book?
Here, the two main characters (the lawyer and her client) have been raped and then killed their rapist. There is enough violence to women in the world already I don’t need to read about dual rapes for another 500 pages.
Thanks netgalley for my ARC
Can we please stop raping women in every book?
Here, the two main characters (the lawyer and her client) have been raped and then killed their rapist. There is enough violence to women in the world already I don’t need to read about dual rapes for another 500 pages.
Thanks netgalley for my ARC
August 25, 2017
Knowing what is right and doing what is right goes out the window when your life depends on it.
What secrets would you keep to preserve your livelihood?
For Elizabeth that one unfortunate mistake of letting down her defense has thrown her life into chaos. She has to constantly watch what she says and does.
Even after making a life for herself, starting a family and growing a successful career she is not able to leave the past in the past.
The walls begin to come crashing down and once again she is having to face the consequences for that one mistake.
What secrets would you keep to preserve your livelihood?
For Elizabeth that one unfortunate mistake of letting down her defense has thrown her life into chaos. She has to constantly watch what she says and does.
Even after making a life for herself, starting a family and growing a successful career she is not able to leave the past in the past.
The walls begin to come crashing down and once again she is having to face the consequences for that one mistake.
September 26, 2017
Elizabeth suffered a horrific event in college. Since then, she has become a lawyer, gotten married, and is raising a family. However, that one dark night when she was a young, naïve student has never left her mind. The choices she made in the past are now threatening her present and her family.
A good story in some ways and in other ways, it just didn’t work for me. Elizabeth’s college trauma is revealed in great detail and if I had been watching a movie, I might have closed my eyes and covered my ears. I suppose for whatever reason, what happened to Elizabeth that night, just seemed like something you might read in the news, so very realistic, but uncomfortable for me in a fiction setting. The author reveals the ‘event’ early on, so the story’s main focus is ‘the now’. I will definitely look for the author’s next book as she can undoubtedly tell a story.
Thank you, Cynthia Clark, Aria, and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
A good story in some ways and in other ways, it just didn’t work for me. Elizabeth’s college trauma is revealed in great detail and if I had been watching a movie, I might have closed my eyes and covered my ears. I suppose for whatever reason, what happened to Elizabeth that night, just seemed like something you might read in the news, so very realistic, but uncomfortable for me in a fiction setting. The author reveals the ‘event’ early on, so the story’s main focus is ‘the now’. I will definitely look for the author’s next book as she can undoubtedly tell a story.
Thank you, Cynthia Clark, Aria, and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 12, 2017
If You Only Knew by Cynthia Clark
Drama aplenty in this story of rape and murder – I was left with mixed feelings because though well written I guess my response would have been so much different to that of Elizabeth. She was raped, she murdered her rapist, she felt more guilt than I would have and she never came forward. That was not the only issue I would have handled differently but then, each person makes their own choices in life.
Elizabeth moved on after her rape and became a lawyer who took on many pro bono cases involving young women who had been violated and would not have been given adequate defense without her by their side. In this story Chloe’s court case parallel’s Elizabeth’s story closely. There is another young woman living on her street, Maya, that she is intensively involved with and that does and doesn’t work out well for both of them at points in the story. Elizabeth’s husband and children take a backseat in this book and it is really more about the guilt Elizabeth feels, her choices in the past and how those choices impact her in the present. I am still not sure what Elizabeth’s future will hold for her at the end of the book but do hope that having her secret out will give her some peace.
Thank you to NetGalley and Aria for the ARC – This is my honest review.
3-4 Stars
Drama aplenty in this story of rape and murder – I was left with mixed feelings because though well written I guess my response would have been so much different to that of Elizabeth. She was raped, she murdered her rapist, she felt more guilt than I would have and she never came forward. That was not the only issue I would have handled differently but then, each person makes their own choices in life.
Elizabeth moved on after her rape and became a lawyer who took on many pro bono cases involving young women who had been violated and would not have been given adequate defense without her by their side. In this story Chloe’s court case parallel’s Elizabeth’s story closely. There is another young woman living on her street, Maya, that she is intensively involved with and that does and doesn’t work out well for both of them at points in the story. Elizabeth’s husband and children take a backseat in this book and it is really more about the guilt Elizabeth feels, her choices in the past and how those choices impact her in the present. I am still not sure what Elizabeth’s future will hold for her at the end of the book but do hope that having her secret out will give her some peace.
Thank you to NetGalley and Aria for the ARC – This is my honest review.
3-4 Stars
October 3, 2017
What a read! It's amazing to read that this is Cynthia Clark's debut novel, and what a thriller it is.
If You Only Knew has the main character flowing through life as serene as a swan .. until you realise that underneath it all she is paddling furiously to try and keep a secret of life-changing dimensions whilst having a full-on career alongside her husband and children. I can easily put myself in Elizabeth's place and think that the decisions she takes are quite understandable but, as with all the best secrets, you cannot depend on them not getting out .. eventually.
This is a well-written novel - accomplished and certainly polished for a debut. I found my heart pounding along with Elizabeth's as I tried to read faster and faster. The pressure she is under is palpable. It's a full on story, revealing itself piece by piece whilst daily life - or what passes for it - continues as sure as the sun rises and sets each day. The characters really came alive for me and I loved every word. I will most definitely add this author to my list of those to watch for in future.
My grateful thanks to Aria fiction for sending me an arc via NetGalley in exchange for my honest, original and unbiased review.
If You Only Knew has the main character flowing through life as serene as a swan .. until you realise that underneath it all she is paddling furiously to try and keep a secret of life-changing dimensions whilst having a full-on career alongside her husband and children. I can easily put myself in Elizabeth's place and think that the decisions she takes are quite understandable but, as with all the best secrets, you cannot depend on them not getting out .. eventually.
This is a well-written novel - accomplished and certainly polished for a debut. I found my heart pounding along with Elizabeth's as I tried to read faster and faster. The pressure she is under is palpable. It's a full on story, revealing itself piece by piece whilst daily life - or what passes for it - continues as sure as the sun rises and sets each day. The characters really came alive for me and I loved every word. I will most definitely add this author to my list of those to watch for in future.
My grateful thanks to Aria fiction for sending me an arc via NetGalley in exchange for my honest, original and unbiased review.
November 20, 2022
What a ride. So much goodness in this book!! I was on the edge of my seat trying to guess what was gonna happen next. .
More of a suspense/ family drama than a thriller, but a great read nonetheless. There is three major plot lines within the book and all were connected in a way. I didn’t realize the book was almost 500 pages because it was such a fast paced read! The ending did fall a little flat, but getting there was the best part.
I received an ARC from NetGalley and Saga Egmont Audio for review.
More of a suspense/ family drama than a thriller, but a great read nonetheless. There is three major plot lines within the book and all were connected in a way. I didn’t realize the book was almost 500 pages because it was such a fast paced read! The ending did fall a little flat, but getting there was the best part.
I received an ARC from NetGalley and Saga Egmont Audio for review.
October 19, 2017
I was lured into the story from the first sentence. What an opening!
I can't believe this is author's debut novel. I can only imagine what else she has in a store for us with her future books.
This is a very heartfelt story about how one night made a huge difference in a young girl's life. After being abducted and raped, young Elizabeth is able to get away from her abuser, however, she paid a great price for that. That night she became a killer. What can be worse than that?! Finding out that she is pregnant. Scared and shocked, Elizabeth gives the child for an adoption. Years later she locates her daughter, and... moves next door to a couple who have adopted the kid. Wait, she is not done yet, her firstborn becomes and babysitter to her 2 younger kids. Sounds like a great set up, right? However, skeletons can't be hidden in the closet forever...
Searching for a great and new suspense read? Look no further. Great debut thriller. I literally skipped the lines trying to read the book as fast as I could.
I can't believe this is author's debut novel. I can only imagine what else she has in a store for us with her future books.
This is a very heartfelt story about how one night made a huge difference in a young girl's life. After being abducted and raped, young Elizabeth is able to get away from her abuser, however, she paid a great price for that. That night she became a killer. What can be worse than that?! Finding out that she is pregnant. Scared and shocked, Elizabeth gives the child for an adoption. Years later she locates her daughter, and... moves next door to a couple who have adopted the kid. Wait, she is not done yet, her firstborn becomes and babysitter to her 2 younger kids. Sounds like a great set up, right? However, skeletons can't be hidden in the closet forever...
Searching for a great and new suspense read? Look no further. Great debut thriller. I literally skipped the lines trying to read the book as fast as I could.
October 24, 2022
Liz has been holding onto a secret for 15 years. Now working as a lawyer and representing a girl who's situation seems similar to her's all those years ago, Liz can't help but remember her past. Surely she can keep her secret a bit longer....or will it all come tumbling out?
Listened to this one on audio and absolutely devoured it almost in one sitting. Amazing storyline that had me gripped right from the start. Hard to believe it's a debut novel. Definitely will be on the lookout for more by this author!
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a complimentary copy of this ALC in exchange for my honest review.
Listened to this one on audio and absolutely devoured it almost in one sitting. Amazing storyline that had me gripped right from the start. Hard to believe it's a debut novel. Definitely will be on the lookout for more by this author!
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a complimentary copy of this ALC in exchange for my honest review.
September 14, 2019
Ooh loved this book very good xxx 😁💖📚
April 7, 2018
Great read
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