A Messy, Beautiful Life

by Sara Jade Alan

Life is funny sometimes.

And not always the ha, ha kind. Like that one time where a hot guy tried to kiss me and I fell. Down. Hard. And then found out I had cancer.

I’m trying to be strong for my friends and my mom.

And I’m trying so hard to be “just friends” with that hot guy, even though he seems to want so much more. But I won’t do that to him. He’s been through this before with his family, and I’m not going to let him watch me die.

So, I tell Smile Ellie. Be funny Ellie. Don’t cry Ellie, because once I start, I might not stop.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance, Fiction, High School, Ebooks, Romantic

222 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 2, 2017

About the author

Sara Jade Alan wrote her first comedy sketch during second-grade recess, then cast it, directed it, and made costumes out of garbage bags. Since then she's performed in more than a thousand improvised and scripted shows. Currently she's one half the comedy duo The Novelistas, who perform about the highs and lows of writing and publishing. Raised in a suburb of Chicago, Sara now lives in Colorado with her husband--whom she met in her college improv group--and daughter. www.sarajadealan.com

Reviews

[Theresa Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love books that make me laugh out loud AND cry. There is a saying that about the connection between humor and pain, and that’s what this book proves: How to find humor from difficult situations.

This is an original novel with a great cast of characters. Ellie is a senior in high school who does improv comedy. She does improv competitions with her team against improv teams from other schools. One of the improvisers is a guy she’s crushed out over—and at a party she finds out he feels the same way! Life seems good. She’s planning for college, has a great relationship with her mom and a tense relationship with her dad, who remarried a woman Ellie is less than enthused about.

Just when she thinks maybe a relationship with Jason could be going somewhere, she discovers she has a rare cancer. Obviously, life is turned upside down.
She initially has a strained relationship with her stepbrother—I loved how that relationship evolved over the course of the book.

The characters are well drawn and believable. More important, all but the dad and stepmom are likeable. I highly recommend this young adult novel! REALEASES OCT 2.

For more of my reviews, please visit: http://www.theresaalan.net/blog

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Messy, Beautiful Life!!! First things first: I received this book through NetGalley.
The book comes out october 2nd!!!
 
Look at me, reviewing an ARC before it's getting published. I think I'm starting to get my crap together. WHOOT!!! I wanna say right at the beginning, that I highly recommend this book to everyone, except if you want to stay away from cancer stories (something I totally understand).
 
Summary: Life is funny sometimes. And not always the ha, ha kind. Like that one time where a hot guy tried to kiss me and I fell. Down. Hard. And then found out I had cancer. I’m trying to be strong for my friends and my mom. And I’m trying so hard to be “just friends” with that hot guy, even though he seems to want so much more. But I won’t do that to him. He’s been through this before with his family, and I’m not going to let him watch me die. So, I tell myself: Smile Ellie. Be funny Ellie. Don’t cry Ellie, because once I start, I might not stop.
 
THIS BOOK. The cover is gorgeous, even though it took me way too long, to figure out there is a bone between all the flowers. Something that makes total sense. Also the titel is perfect for the book. PERFECT!!!
 
I kinda wanna dump all my feels for the book all at once in this review. But let's have some order. Maybe. Hopefully.
 
The writing is amazing. Seriously. I have some problems with books at the moment and taking forever to really get into them. But this one. The author had me right from the beginning. The writing was just so beautiful.
 
I also loved the characters right from the start. Ellie is the perfect main character. Seriously. She is funny, she is loving, caring, she is freaking strong. That girl stole my heart. And Jason, what a great guy. DANG. I really loved him the moment he showed up and could totally understand why Ellie was falling for him super fast. These two were the greatest, through all the mess, they were beautiful. I also loved all the side characters. Craig, Ellie's stepbrother. He was amazing, seriously. In the beginning I wasn't sure cause Ellie descriped him as the most annoying person and then he showed up, and I just loved him. And he cared so much about her and ahhhh, he is great. And Ellie's mom, I LOVED her. Moms are the greatest. I wasn't sure about Ellie's father in the beginning. I was super unimpressed by him not being there. Thankfully that turned around and he got much more involved. I also loved Ellie's friends, Hana and Quinn. THEIR FRIENDSHIP. The greatest thing about all these characters and their relationship was, that this group felt like a huge family that went through all the ups and downs in life together and that was just so damn beautiful.
 
This book has the perfect mixture of lighthearted, fun moments and moments that will shatter your heart. But it's beautiful and gives you all the feels. And ugh, I truly love this whole story, the characters, just everything. I will stop now before I slip even more into fangirl mode and no one will understand a word I'm saying. So bye. Read this book!!!

[Carlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life is funny sometimes.

And not always the ha, ha kind. Like that one time where a hot guy tried to kiss me and I fell. Down. Hard. And then found out I had cancer.

I’m trying to be strong for my friends and my mom.

And I’m trying so hard to be “just friends” with that hot guy, even though he seems to want so much more. But I won’t do that to him. He’s been through this before with his family, and I’m not going to let him watch me die.

So, I tell myself: Smile Ellie. Be funny Ellie. Don’t cry Ellie, because once I start, I might not stop.

I picked up A Messy, Beautiful Life after I had one of those weeks that weighs on you. I wasn't in the mood for anything, but I was down about some things in my life and wanted to live in someone else's. A Messy, Beautiful Life not only made me take a look at my own life, but it made me both laugh and cry. It's a novel full of emotions, about the struggling of accepting what life hands you and seeing it as a gift, even if that gift isn't exactly what you had hoped for expected. Ellie's life has handed her cancer, a boy who's been through it before with her family, and a group of friends that can cheer anyone up.

"My whole body was light and bubbly. And his lips felt amazing, more amazing than anything I could have imagined."

Sara Jade Alan took me on a journey, one that made me laugh, made me reminisce about my youth,
made me cry (a lot), and made me so thankful for this life we've been given. She tackles the emotions of high school, of first love, and that first big challenge so perfectly. I felt like I was Ellie at times, struggling to accept the prognosis I'd been given, and at other times I felt like her friends, trying so hard to make my friend feel some sort of happiness. On top of all that is the little world that Sara Jade Alan created. A Messy, Beautiful Life takes place during Ellie's senior year of high school. She's not typical though, she's awkward with boys, very smart, and her hobby is improv. I never expected to enjoy a novel about improv, something I usually don't understand, so much. I laughed so hard envisioning a bunch of teens acting out the silly things the characters did. It felt just like high school, that time when the world seems so big and your future is ripe for the picking. It also made the story come to life, it took it from a sad novel about overcoming cancer to a story about the friends and family that help you through the hard stuff in any way they can.

"I wondered how it was possible that my life was at its very best and its very worst simultaneously."

A Messy, Beautiful Life is one of those books that I just needed to read and it was right there when I needed it to be. From the very beginning I was hooked, loving just how cute that first spark of a crush was described. Sara Jade Alan can write, the story flowed just right, and every single subplot in the novel was executed perfectly. I was so in tune with my own feelings as I read and found myself being lifted up by the spirited friends Ellie had in her childhood friends, her new friends, her crush, her mom, and even her surprisingly amazing stepbrother. A Messy, Beautiful life tackles all the bad parts of the book with so much good and really, it is quite a beautiful read. I suggest this one to readers of all ages.

ARC provided via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Greyson | Use Your Words · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.

"Most people are so scared of the pain in their life, they do anything they can to avoid it, to not feel what is really there. Ignoring it merely causes a different kind of hurt."

A Messy, Beautiful life follows improv-comedian Ellie as she's about to kiss the boy but instead falls down and discovers she has a rare form of cancer. As she tries to help her friends organize a sketch for a comedy performance, debates if she should try her hand at stand up comedy and keeps the new boy in her life at an arm's length, Ellie faces the scary reality of being diagnosed with cancer and deciding what treatment to go through with, knowing that her decision could change the course of her life forever.

I wondered how it was possible that my life was at its very best
and its very worst simultaneously. Messy and beautiful.
Ellie is such a lovable and fun character. She uses her natural comic skills to get her through a really hard time in her life.
The secondary characters are just as great as Ellie.
You've got her mum who is incredibly strong and such a good mother.
There's her friends Quinn and Hana and the love interest Jason. All are very supportive and challenge Ellie when they feel she needs it. They also provide a lot of witty and dark humor that had me giggling throughout the book.
My favourite secondary character was Craig though. He's introduced as the dense step brother who Ellie pretends she has no relation to her but as Ellie is diagnosed with cancer, Craig truly shines and his relationship with Ellie is so special and lovely. He is by her side from day one and provides support and becomes whatever Ellie needs in each moment.

A Messy, Beautiful life was exactly that, messy and, oh so, beautiful.

Fearlessness is not being without fear, but being afraid and doing the thing anyway.

___
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[Samantha (WLABB) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 4.5 stars

I always have good luck with Entangled books. They are usually sweet and heartwarming, but often deal with much lighter topics. I wasn't sure what to expect with this book, as cancer is a pretty weighty thing and to have to read about someone so young dealing with it, can be very difficult. I was very pleased with the way Alan dealt with the topic. She addressed it head on, but she tempered it with so many other wonderful things, that I cried more happy than sad tears.



This review originally appeared on We Live and Breathe Books

•Pro: Improv! I can honestly say, this is the first YA book I have read that features improv, and it was really fun. Plus, I got a good education on improv too.

•Pro: I felt a lot of feels. I laughed, I cried, I swooned, my heart raced from excitement. Alan did an excellent job bringing me on this journey with Ellie and her family.

•Pro: Ellie was fabulous. I found her funny and so real. She had wit, charm, and a great attitude, but she was also vulnerable.

•Pro: This is a cancer story written by a cancer survivor.
Con: I swear, this is going on my tombstone. The ending was ok, but I wanted a little more. This was such a fabulous story, and I was left somewhat wanting.

•Pro: Alan kept this story from entering melodrama land, and it made it more enjoyable for me.

•Pro: Ellie and Jason were so good together. I was shipping them after their very first meeting.

•Pro: The way Craig and Ellie's relationship blossomed filled my heart with joy. I like that there was a lot more to him than met the eye, and I am a fan of non-traditional type families too.

•Pro: Ellie's mom is a star. 😘

•Pro: Friendships! So many great friends in this one, and they really stepped it up in Ellie's hour of need.



Overall: This was a beautiful and funny story about something not funny. It made my heart ache and made my heart fill with joy. Alan gave us a story with depth and weight, but kept us from drowning in sadness by tempering it with humor and lots of love.


**I would like to thank the publisher for the advanced copy of this book.

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[Sascha · Rating 5 out of 5]

You don’t expect to find yourself smiling or even laughing when reading a novel about a teen who discovers she has cancer and yet I did both as I read Sara Jade Alan’s A Messy, Beautiful Life. Perhaps the reason why the author so ably writes about the topic is because A Messy, Beautiful Life is based to some extent on her own experiences.

Ellie, for the most part, is a typical teen who is discovering herself in her last year of high school. She’s funny and part of an improv group, which is how she meets Jason, the boy she falls for (literally). Their first meeting is a definite “Meet Cute,” during which I was chuckling and grinning. But this is just that kind of book.

One instant I was laughing and the next I had tears in my eyes when Ellie discovers that her world seems to be falling apart. She’s diagnosed with a cancer that strikes deep inside of her leg bone and can’t be touched by radiation or chemotherapy.

“Ha. Whose bone would you want?”

Thinking about it for a second, I said, “The bone of a ninja.[…] Wouldn’t that be cool? My bone would be sullen and mysterious…and then–ka-pow!–kick the crap out of things.”

Jason’s mother just died of cancer, which makes Ellie feel guilty for inviting him into her life so she decides that it would be better if they call it quits. It’s a hard decision, especially when she likes him so very much.

But Ellie as well as her friends approach this period in her life with humor and enlightenment. And that’s another thing I like about this book. It’s insightful and a little bit magical. The cynics out there might call it hokey, but I was touched by what I was reading and it made me feel better, good even. So I feel completely justified in calling this a feel-good book.

“Most people are so scared of the pain in their life, they do anything they can to avoid it, to not feel what is really there. Ignoring it merely causes a different kind of hurt."

And mostly, I would call this the story of hope, of friends and family who support you, who make you smile and with whom you can laugh when things get rough.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[lacy white · Rating 5 out of 5]

A special thank you goes out to Entangled Teen for allowing me to read this book early. Thank you so much! All thoughts and opinions are my own.

My emotions are such a jumbled mess right now. This is one of the reasons that stand alones bother me. It's because I want MORE of the characters! This book had me smiling at the adorable friendship dynamic to crying at the sadness of getting a cancer diagnosis. How unfair is life that cancer even exists? It makes my heart hurt.

Ellie was such a strong, flawed and all around awesome character. She was normal teenager and she reacted as a normal teenager should. I loved that. In YA, sometimes teen girls are written so meanly or they are written to be an airhead. Not with Ellie. I was attached to her immediately and loved reading her POV. Her wit and her strength were incredible. Not to mention, she is into improv. You definitely don't see that a lot in YA. Especially not girls.

What I really loved about this book was Ellie's circle of friends. Her support system was absolutely incredible! Her friends were just amazing. It is so refreshing to see girls supporting one another instead of turning against each other or drifting away, which can happen after a diagnosis such as cancer. Even though Ellie didn't want to burden her friends with her illness, they wouldn't leave her nor would they let Ellie leave them. And I think that is amazing. We all need friends like that.

Overall, I'm so happy with this book. The cover is beautiful. The story was beautiful, even if it was sad. The friendships will make you jealous and make you want your own pack. There was even diversity and LGBT representation in here that wasn't forced. This is a good example of how YA books should be done. I highly recommend this book!

[Rê · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 “Fighting with Humor” Stars

ARC via NetGalley.

Thank you, Entangled Teen!

Even though I should've expected it, this book still took me by surprise by its funny approach on such a serious topic--and I say surprise and funny in a good way.

Comedy was the theme for A Messy, Beautiful Life. From the main character's voice to the way she dealt with her diagnosis, there was a light vibe the story maintained from start to finish.

Since Ellie and her friends were a part of an improv comedy group, the book introduces humor right from page one. I was immediately drawn into Ellie's world by her voice, her group of friends and Jason, the love interest. I loved that they met during an improv show and that they were in sync from moment on. There was enough chemistry to make me want them together from moment on.

The entire improv comedy scene made this book fresh and entertaining. I can't remember reading anything with this theme, and while some of the scenes were a bit of "fade to black" (for a lack of a better term), there were a few other that showed the jokes and they were pretty funny.



But the things I liked most about this story were Ellie's relationship with her friends, parents, Jason, and the way she dealt with her disease.

This was a character-driven story that worked because the characters were interesting. Ellie's two best friends could've used a little more work, since they didn't have different enough personalities to set them apart, but they were still amazing friends to Ellie. There was none of the unecessary girl-hate drama.

But the star of friendships for me was the one between Ellie and her stepbrother. I loved how Craig came out of his shell and showed Ellie how important she was and how great of a big brother he could be. Every scene between Ellie and Craig was awesome.

Ellie's relationship with her mother was another plus, and even the drama with her father was handled well.

Now, as for Ellie and Jason, like I said before, I felt their chemistry from the start and I liked that Jason's past was connected to Ellie's present in a sad, but still meaninful way. I also liked how they worked through it and found a way to be happy.

When I say A Messy, Beautiful Life handled Ellie's diagnosis in a funny way, I mean funny as in a "this won't get me down and I'll keep fighting" approach and not as in "I'm making fun of something serious." Even Ellie's stand up comedy show focused on her cancer was tasteful.

In the end, I think this book succeeded in bringing a different, light and funny way to deal with such a serious topic, and the good dynamic between the characters and cute romance acted as a bonus.

[Lynda Dickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellie is a member of an improv theater group and, when she meets Jason, a member of a rival improv group, they form an immediate connection. With some new friends and a huge comedy competition coming up, things are looking good, but a freak accident brings Ellie crashing down - quite literally. What happens next will break your heart into little pieces and then put it back together again.

Ellie's story is based on the author's own experiences in battling chondrosarcoma, a type of bone cancer. The author states that "the upside of tragedy is that it can be transformed into art." And that is exactly what she has done. A Messy, Beautiful Life is a touching account of a young girl's experience with cancer at a time when she should be fully living her life. The story is so good that I forgot to take notes, but I loved Ellie as well as her support group of Jason, her friends, her mother, and especially her stepbrother Craig.

Cute and funny and sad. Don't miss this one.

I received this book in return for an honest review.

Full blog post (2 October): https://booksdirectonline.blogspot.co...

[Melissa]

From the gorgeous cover to the amazing voice that will walking the line between laughing and having the story pull on your heartstrings, I loved this book. Some of the quotes, especially toward the end spoke to me with the focus on living for the moment and appreciating what you have, like awesome legs that aren't filled with a rare type of cancer like Ellie's were. I really, really wish I could've seen Ellie on the disco ball and performing a standup show full of cancer jokes, namely because she's got cancer. Perhaps the next best thing would be to see the author perform at an improv show?

[Issah Camille Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

"His words filled my bones. He was my lucky star in this maelstrom of misfortune. I wondered how it was possible that my life was at its very best and its very worst simultaneously. Messy and beautiful. Heartbreaking and inspiring."
~A Messy Beautiful Life, Sara Jade Alan
🌸



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RATING: 5 ⭐️
GENRE: Young Adult Humorous/Death and Dying

A Messy Beautiful Life is a YA contemporary novel about 17 year old Ellie who got diagnosed of having a rare type of cancer.
I really love Ellie's story, her family isn't perfect but her parents love her so much, as well as her occasionally annoying but hot step brother. She has a funny circle of friends. Her love interest is Jason, whom she met in a Comedy Mash-up because they're doing improvisation. This is by far the most unique cancer/death and dying story I've ever read. The characters are very likeable and funny.
The writing style is amazing.
I laughed, I cried, I swooned, then laughed again, then cried again then swooned again. Thank you Sara for sharing Ellie's messy and beautiful, heartbreaking and inspiring story to us. It made me appreciate the things that I just usually take for granted. 🌸❤️

[Jae Mod · Rating 5 out of 5]

***ARC received in exchange for an honest review***
 
A Messy, Beautiful Life, a perfect name for a perfect book. Sara Jade Alan gives you feels you’ve never imagined while reading a book. I cried, laughed, swooned, got angry, cried some more, and was left with such heartwarming sentiment and a bit of sadness when it was over.   
 
Ellie is in her last year of high school. High on life, living it up with her friends and preforming improv comedy shows. During one show, she is paired up with the Hot Guy and a connection is formed. While visiting her father and step mother (who is not a fan of hers) along her stepbrother, she runs into Hot Guy at a party.  
 
All things happen for a reason. She discovers Hot Guy feels the same connection as her only to fall down the stairs when he goes to kiss her. She ends up in the hospital where it is discovered the course of life will change forever.  
 
This is just the beginning of Ellie’s journey. This is a well written story of courage, a family once divided being brought back together and friendship that can last a lifetime. Most importantly, it is a story about how no matter what happens it is truly a Messy, Beautiful life.  
 
I believe that everyone should read this book. There is so much that you can learn from it. Well told and relatable in multiple ways. Such an intensely emotional read that I had one heck of a book hangover!! The fact that Sara Jade Alan gave us this story in first person helps in the understanding and feeling of what Ellie is going through. Five amazingly heartfelt stars!  

[Tanya (Girl Plus Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wondered how it was possible that my life was at its very best
and its very worst simultaneously. Messy and beautiful.

I admit I was a bit wary of this one. Novels that tackle serious illness can easily fall into mawkishness. I’m happy to report A Messy, Beautiful Life is not one of them. Yes, main character Ellie is diagnosed with cancer, but whereas some stories would then veer into saccharine clichés and overly sentimental tropes, Sara Jade Alan managed to avoid those traps and instead deliver a story that is funny, honest and equal parts heart-breaking and heart-warming.

High school senior Ellie is co-captain of an improv group and it’s during a performance that she meets Jason. The chemistry is immediate and when Ellie sees him again at a party the sparks fly and she’s pretty sure the feeling is mutual. But the night is derailed when a fall lands her in the hospital and all of a sudden doctors are throwing around words like scans, MRI and biopsy. And then the diagnosis: cancer.

Ellie was a character that was easy to admire. Even before her diagnosis I appreciated her can-do attitude and her close relationships with her friends and her mom. And after the diagnosis I admired her even more. Yes, she usually tried to be strong for her mom and friends but Ellie was no martyr. She was afraid, she cried, she questioned ‘why me?’ and railed against the unfairness of it. She struggled with her relationship with her father as well as her growing feelings for Jason. She liked him and felt better when he was around, but was it fair to ask him to see her through such a difficult time?

Ellie was surrounded by an amazing support group and I loved the encouragement and comfort they each provided. Her mother was present and involved and I appreciated how they seemed to be very much a team while still maintaining their mother-daughter roles. Her girlfriends were priceless (not a mean girl in sight!) and always there to lend a shoulder to cry on, make her laugh, and just generally be some of the best friends ever. I also loved seeing the relationship between Ellie and her step-brother Craig develop into a truly caring and supportive bond.

My quibbles are few. First, there were times when the dialogue between Ellie and her friends didn’t ring true for me. Their banter sometimes felt forced and not realistic given their ages (do seventeen year olds actually know what Toastmasters is?). Secondly, the school yoga teacher/counselor seemed a bit over the top New Age-y and had I been sent to see her as a high school student I think she would have seemed more oddball than helpful.

A Messy, Beautiful Life was filled with humor and heart and brought me to tears more than once, not only with empathy for what Ellie was facing but also when my heart was warmed by the show of love and support. I encourage readers to pick this one up and experience Ellie’s resilience and humor for themselves.

Note: I received an advance copy of this title from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way changes my opinion of the book or the content of this review.

[Kristi Housman Confessions of a YA Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was surprisingly funny. I know it's a book where the main character has cancer, but it wasn't the whole focus of the book which I loved.

Early on, cancer isn't mentioned. The first part of the book allows the readers to really get to know the amazing people in this book. Ellie is hilarious and inspirational. She is in high school living with mom. Her dad had remarried and she has a step brother, Craig. Ellie's dad kind of bailed with her somewhat crazy step mom and left Craig back home to finish high school. Ellie does improv comedy and Craig is really into music. At first, they don't get along well at all, but we start to see this amazingly sweet side of Craig. He ended up being one of my favorites. He became such an incredible brother and friend.

Ellie has two best friends, Hana and Quinn. Both do improv with Ellie. While their group is performing, Ellie meets Jason. The way they end up together is adorable. Jason is such a nice guy and not just faking it to get the girl. He's genuinely good. It is during a party when Jason goes to kiss Ellie and she falls. Nothing is broken, but her doctor finds cancer in her bone. It's a very rare cancer and Ellie faces amputation. She goes through every emotion you can imagine, but she keeps her humor through it all. Even doing a comedy routine that focused on cancer jokes. She was able to joke a lot while still being terrified. She was determined to live her life.

"Ellie, hello. Come on in. Looks like those crutches are making you buff."
"Yes, I'm getting the shoulders I need to fulfill my body-builder destiny."

Jason's mom died from cancer the year before, so Ellie tries to keep it from him. She doesn't want to be a burden on a guy she just met, but really likes a lot. He's been through so much already. But I think it's part of what made their relationship stronger. He was able to talk with her about all of it.

What I loved most about this book (besides the positive outlook) were the relationships. There was so much focus on that. Yes, the cancer was a big part, but it was really the love and friendship. Also Ellie's strength and fears. Ellie's realtionship with her mom also stood out. There was so much love there and I was able to tell how honored she felt to have Ellie as her child.

"The Vicodin didn't like me. I spent the entire night and morning after surgery throwing up every hour. Nothing like having your mom wipe vomit off your face and dress you to make you feel mature and ready to be an adult. College, here I come."

I didn't know until I finished that the author had this cancer. It made the book even better to me. She's obviously a very special, strong woman, and I thank her for writing something so personal.

I received a copy of this book from Entangled Teen through Netgalley for review. This one gets 4 1/2 stars. (rounded up to 5)

[Diana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just couldn't get into this book.

[Victoria Bunce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please note: I received a copy of A MESSY, BEAUTIFUL LIFE from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the publisher and author.

Five stars and here’s why:

Is it possible to cry and laugh so many times with one book? Because I read it all at once and ended up doing both. I couldn’t put it down. At first, I didn’t know what to expect because Ellie is the main character and she has cancer. But her snark and sassy attitude keep us rooted to the story because this is real life. There’s a lot of pain, but there’s also a lot of beauty if you can dig deep and find that silver lining. Sara Jade Alan rocked this story. There were just the right amount of swooning moments to keep me turning the pages. If you love phenomenal writing, a story that will blow you mind and warm your heart, this book is for you. Highly recommend. Be prepared to give up your day and read it all in one sitting.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Messy Beautiful Life is one of those reads that has you excited for bedtime, just so you can tuck back into the next chapter. Kind, sharp and quirkily-funny Ellie is the kind of heroine I love—with a gang of friends whose whipsmart back-and-forth and clear affection for one another makes you remember how high school can be this beautiful clutter of small and large moments…first loves, great disses and comebacks, disinterested parents, Marshmallow Mateys, text messages and of course, some devastating bad news that forces a girl to brave something at an all-too-young age. Alan seems to have a knack for capturing the frank and funny voice of teenagers, moving with ease between scenes of goofy normalness and sobering reality, between the brilliant highs and lows of adolescence—all shaded with the technicolor bigness that we feel at that age. A book I heartily recommend!

[Jackie Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this e-arc that Netgalley and Entangled Teen a few days ago but I've fallen ill and with that comes writer's block. I apologize in advance for anything in this review that may not make complete sense.

First off, I absolutely loved the story to this. It shows that bad things can happen but that there's always some ounce of good happening at that same moment.

The book told Ellie's battle with her own form of cancer in her femur and that some cannot be treated the way we usually think when the term cancer comes into play. She couldn't do chemo because of how deep the tumor was near her knee and her doctor told her that amputation would be best. I liked that we were able to explore the more option she had when it came to a 'miracle' doctor.

From the author's note, I'd assume that her own story might be similar to Ellie's as they both had the same type of rare cancer.

This book had me pretty close to tears a few times but I'm thankful that Ellie had all of the support from her friends and family.

[Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

“A Messy, Beautiful Life” tossed my emotions around like a clothes dryer, wrung them, flipped them upside down, and tossed them out. It’s a book about cancer, but not at all like any of the other books you probably had pop into your mind. Everything about it feels so real. I felt their joy and their pain, and I am not ashamed to admit that I cried like a baby. Highly recommended!

This unbiased review is based upon a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.

[Travis Luther · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a YA novel about high school, one expects to read about the everyday struggles of teens - the teasing, the insecurity, the isolation. We also expect a happy ending in which the one awkward kid finds a way to survive and thrive. But what happens when those struggles are a matter of life and death? Well, they're usually not very funny! But Sara Jade Alan has found a way to inject humor into a story that turns real tragedy into triumph - and in a way that doesn't scare us off, but rather sucks us in. This is the gift of "A Messy, Beautiful Life." It reminds us that our young people are stronger than we sometimes give them credit for, and that when faced with real adversity, they have the strength to surprise us.

[Eve L-A Witherington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellie, Quinn and Hana are best friends who form an improve group, at a comedy club where at one of their events they meet Jason who Ellie in particular notices only what should be a great night at a party soon after they meet becomes a nightmare when she collapses in agony as her leg gives way.

However, when she finds out she has cancer, life changes and so does the situation as she finds out she has a tumour growing in her leg. Unsure how Jason will react as he lost his mum to breast cancer not too long ago, she unexpectedly finds herself being comforted by him as he supports her through her tough months ahead as she faces a possible amputation amongst other options...

I found this book saddening at the same time it was an empowering story as young teen Ellie shoulders her diagnosis and faces it all head on. Even if she feels over whelmed with it all her character allows herself to be sad but gets on with life and doesn't wallow around but embraces her life in the now to enjoy what she can in the face of the unknown. Jason was a great boyfriend to her and doesn't back away because of the cancer but if anything shows he's there for her even more. A beautiful duo to read about.

Many thanks to the publishers for allowing me to review this book for them!

[Tiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS BOOK IS SO INCREDIBLE! I immediately fell in love with its quick-witted dialogue, hilarity, and emotional moments. This book about love, life, and everything in between made me laugh out loud and then cry just as loudly.


Ellie’s story is heartbreaking and yet all at once courageously funny. The ups and downs of falling in love with a boy whose mom passed away from cancer while you yourself find out you have cancer are unique and yet strangely beautiful. This book gives me shivers of happiness and I am 100% in love with it.

I also love how well this book captured the awkwardness of falling in love and then the warm feeling that comes when things begin to fall into place. There are just so many fabulous details of interactions between characters that make the plot line feel so real. When you read you fall deeply in love with the characters and everyone becomes more then just a fictional name on the page.


I devoured A Messy, Beautiful Life and I simply want everyone to see it’s beauty for themselves. This is definitely a book that does John Green fans proud.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Messy, Beautiful Life by Sara is about Ellie and her life. Ellie does comedy improvs as a hobby/school thing, which is very unique and different from any of the other YA books I have read. Her parents are divorced and from that divorce came remarriage and a new step brother for Ellie. So, she is living a fairly normal, contemporary teenaged life. That is, until one day when she decides to fall, hurt her leg, and instead of the test results coming back with 'broken' leg they came back with 'cancer'.

This book was okay. There was really nothing that stood out about it And, honestly, the whole cancer plot is entirely over-used and under-paid. The first quarter of the book I was pretty bored with the story and where it was going. I was ready to skim read the rest of the book and do a tiny synopsis review. Then the cancer part happened so I decided to stick around and see how the author spun the cancer story. Sadly, it was pretty a much rinse and repeat of every other story with cancer I have ever read. This book probably would have been popular around the John Green time period.

I think Craig(step-brother) was the only character I truly enjoyed. Ellies's mother also wasn't too bad. Her father was beyond horrible but he did end up slightly redeeming himself by the end. I still think he shouldn't have gotten on that plane or even had to think about whether to put his daughter or his new wife first. The ending had me tearing up a bit. Not so much from the miracle that is medicine but because of the emotion Jason showed about his mother. I think it was one of the most beautiful parts of the entire book.

In the end, I found that the book was very simple and boring and lacking that one thing that would have kept me interested. It was a very short book and I think that is the only reason I finished it. The writing isn't bad and the story wasn't so bad... it's just a very over-used plot standpoint. I would read the author again in the future to see how she has grown.

Overall, I have the book 3/5 stars.

[Rhonda Ziglar · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 A MESSY, BEAUTIFUL LIFE STARS!! This book was fantastic it had all the feels from laughing out loud to crying. The story is so beautifully written, Sara Jade Alan did a fabulous job. I loved Ellie, she was the perfect character. I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book.

[Roni Loren]

I am usually wary of any books that focus on illness (personal phobia thing - I can't watch medical shows either) but I read a sample of this book and loved the voice, so I decided to give it a try. The book was SO good. Funny and touching and sweet. Adored it! I really liked the inside peek into improv comedy too.

[Jennilyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

This review and other related shenanigans are also posted here

“A Messy, Beautiful Life”concerns Ellie Hartwood, a seventeen year old leader of her school’s improv group, Spontaneous Combustion. At the start of the book, her team is sharing the stage with another school’s improv group, Scared Scriptless, where she met Jason. Ellie and Jason have undeniable chemistry and connection not only in their stage performance but in romance department as well. But then Ellie is diagnosed with cancer and Jason has just lost a family member from it. Ellie is now torn between keeping Jason, the person who brings her happiness or pushing him away to avoid bringing him sadness.

Whoever wrote the book’s blurb should get some kind of credit because that’s what drew me in to be interested in the book in the first place. Ellie’s voice in the blurb sounds like someone who is sunny and fun but suddenly here comes cancer. I thought it would really be interesting to see how a person with such personality would handle such a devastating situation. And then perusing through the first pages, I found out that Ellie, Jason and their friends do stage improv and I’m like hey, I haven’t read a YA contemporary with characters doing improv before. This is going to be interesting. After finishing the book tho, I’m like sigh, this is disappointing.

The narration is more telling rather than showing. There are a lot of times where Ellie makes info dumps on how certain improv acts are done. Here’s one example: “In the game of Freeze, two players do a scene until someone on the sidelines yells “Freeze” then the players have to hold whatever pose they were in. Another actor tags one person out, takes on the same position but starts an entirely new scene that justifies the starting position. It continues as people call out “Freeze” and start new scene after new scene.”

The characters, even the supposedly sunny and funny Ellie, have lacking personality. This is a shame because Ellie had the potential to be an inspiring character. Jason had the potential to be the supportive and gentlemanly love interest. But they are not given anything much because most of the things are told rather than shown. The side characters are just like background noises, telling the main character what to do: you should go to the party, Ellie; you should already tell Jason you have cancer, Ellie; you should sign up for the standup contest, Ellie.

The characters’ emotions are also kind of just stated there in the pages but not felt by the reader. There are scenes where the characters are in tears but I am not emotional about it. Or where the characters are laughing and I find myself not laughing with them. And where Ellie and her friends are swoony about their love interests and I’m kind of like a dead tree stump reading but not feeling anything. Of course, it’s not like I’m a real dead tree stump cursed to be devoid of emotions but it’s more like the book makes the characters cry, laugh and swoon without having to do the work of building up to those scenes.

While reading, I was getting the sense that things are happening a bit too fast for the characters. There is one when I was like what, they are kissing already when they’ve just met?! I backtracked and checked and it was actually already a matter of days already. Again, the passing of time is literally expository and told by Ellie like, “it’s been nine days since...” too many times and that’s not okay. It could do with filling the pages with daily, routine student activities like class attendance and stuff so the readers feel the passing of time as something resembling real life.

I could tell that the author really has the know how of improv, a backdrop that would really be interesting for cutesy romantic fluff. And the trope of getting through a life-threatening disease such as cancer has proven to be a success in milking the readers’ sympathy in many YA contemporary books. It was a shame that “A Messy, Beautiful Life” had these two things in potential but was not able to deliver on selling both the laughs and tears to me, (a real live human reader and not a dead tree stump, just to clear that thing up).

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[Sabina · Rating 5 out of 5]

'A Messy, Beautiful Life' made me cry so many times as it made me laugh. I read it all at one go because I couldn't let go. It's a book mostly about first love and cancer, but you will find also a lot about relations among people and about a loss of your beloved one. Ellie is the main character here, the cancer girl, who at some point feels that luck has completely abandoned her, but thanks to her devoted friends she finds out that there's a lot of beauty and love surrounding her, and that she is weirdly quite happy in this unhappiness. There are a lot of swooning moments. And I know it's sort of greedy and all but I actually have two fictional boyfriends from this book, Both Craig (Ellie's stepbrother) and Jason (Ellie's boyfriend) are very sensitive and romantic types. I really want to keep them both!

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ellie is a seventeen-year-old whose only care in life is doing an improv/comedy show just announced that could win her and her improv group a spot on Comedy Hub’s website and $500 to split between them. What she doesn’t expect is that a fall at a party will lead to finding out she may have cancer and the options for treating that cancer aren’t as straightforward as expected.

A Messy, Beautiful Life is one of those books that makes you laugh AND cry. Cry because while it’s stupid to say someone doesn’t deserve cancer, Ellie really doesn’t, and laugh because Ellie is exactly the right type of main character to kick cancers ass and have fun with it as well. I know that if I learned I had a rare form of cancer  tomorrow , I would take to my bed for the foreseeable future. I most certainly would not turn it into an amazing stand up routine. That’s where Ellie and I differ, because while learning she may have cancer knocks off her equilibrium, she doesn’t let it overtake her life the way I would.

Helped along by new crush Jason, swoon, step-brother Craig and her friends Quinn and Hana, not to mention her brilliant mom, you can see why Ellie is the way she is, she has tons of support, and the best relationship in this whole book for me was that of Ellie and Craig. At the beginning, they don’t really get on - Ellie doesn’t like being referred to as his sister and keeps her distance, but the diagnosis pushes them together and Craig becomes such a pillar of strength coming around with anime and cereal to keep Ellie’s spirits up and helping create their skit for the improv show. It was so nice to see step-siblings who got on, even if it took a cancer diagnosis to do it.

Now let’s talk about Ellie and Jason. Excuse me while I swoon. Their first interaction is at the initial improv show, where they do a Freeze skit and their bodies are just so in tune with each other and that leads to the inevitable party where Ellie does a swan dive off some stairs and their relationship just goes from there. It was so easy, so believable and just when it might have gone into eye-roll territory with Ellie proclaiming she wasn’t going to tell Jason about her diagnosis, because his mom died of cancer, it got pulled back because she didn’t do it. It was just so mature, so romantic, so adorable. It made me extraordinarily happy.

I genuinely loved A Messy, Beautiful Life. Craig says in the book that you have to carpe diem the Crap out of life and he couldn’t be more right. This book is all about carpe dieming it and I loved that. The writing is gorgeous, but easy and relateable at the same time and the use of improv was spot-on. I just loved everything about this book - Sara Jade Alan has written such a wonderful, uplifting read. Ellie could have done the complete opposite of everything she does in this book if she’d been a different person, but I loved the person she was and the story we got, cancer isn’t always a death sentence and I liked this somewhat lighthearted look at it.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

*3.5*

The two aspects that inspired me to read Sara Jade Alan's A Messy, Beautiful Life? The cover and title of course! Both were incredibly eye-catching, and there's just something so relatable in the tittle because life IS messy AND beautiful!

The result? Equal parts witty, relatable, and poignant, A Messy, Beautiful Life explores what makes a life worth living when the world seems to be completely and utterly against you.

A Messy, Beautiful Life introduces us to Ellie, just your everyday high school student. She loves her best friends, she finds her step brother infuriating, and she hopes that the boy she's just meet likes her as much as she likes him....normal, right? What's not normal, however, is the pain she's been feeling...the pain that turns out to be none other than a rare form of cancer.

I found Ellie's voice to be raw, fresh, and captivating. There was just something so utterly real about her, and that's what broke my heart even more when she received her diagnosis. Here's this girl that's never done anything wrong - just done her best to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student - but's been handed one of the worst cards in life possible. However, unlike most people, Ellie's never lets it get her down too much. Sure, she has moments where she cries her eyes out, but Ellie also never once stops living. I admired that greatly about her. I admired the fact that she got right on those crutches and made them work, that she allowed herself to still open up to the boy she liked, and that she even began to rely on and put trust in the person she never thought she would - her annoying yet weirdly sweet step brother. She may have been given a horrible diagnose, but it also gave her the right push to "grow up" and have a memorable coming-of-age.

A Messy, Beautiful Live tackles a lot - the many meanings the word 'family' can have, the high that comes from falling in love for the first time, learning to deal with the hard stuff in life, and having a hobby that is so completely your thing. While some books can't always handle such a high array of topics, A Messy, Beautiful Life managed to do the impossible - make the topics well developed and unique. One of my favorite topics of this book was family....over the course of A Messy, Beautiful Life, Ellie takes on an interesting family dynamic, as her mother, step-brother, and friends form her support group while her dad and step-mom are often no where to be found. While her dad's involvement angered me at times, I liked that Sara showed that a family doesn't have to be blood - that sometimes the people who aren't blood related are the ones who will stick up for you the most, no matter the cost. I especially loved the relationship that formed between Ellie and her step-brother. It included the typical sibling love/hate thing, but it worked so well for the book.

The one area of this book, though, that brought it down a few steps in my eyes was the romance. Okay, Jason was a great guy, especially when he would drop everything to be by Ellie's side...but sometimes he was just TOO PERFECT. Honestly, I don't think this guy had one breakdown/freakout the entire book, and while part of me would live to live in an ideal world like that, it's hard to accept that a boy, especially someone who's new to Ellie's, live would be so willing to be so utterly charming and perfect when life is just so messy.

Regardless, A Messy, Beautiful Life is well worth a read....Sara Jade Alan does a beautiful job of capturing the many facets that encompass a 'beautiful' and 'messy' life while introducing a cast of characters you can't help but adore.

Grade: B

[books are love · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received in exchange for a honest review.

this book is absolutely wonderful. You have such a sad topic but the humour has you laughing so hard your side hurts and you cry.

This is the story of the journey of Ellie. How she deals with a time in her life where she is challenged. Challenged by something that has you just feel gutted for her. A time where she finds a boy who fights for her and is there for her even when it hurts, friends that stand by her and are her support, a stepbrother who shows how kind he is and a dad that learns what is important and learns to come back to where he should be.

Ellie is funny and sarcastic. Smart and so full of life. Even when life brings her down she pulls her head up and stares at it with humour and grace. She doesn’t back away but fights and finds a way to make it to the other side. She finds the boy who is so sweet and just adorable and after what he went through is there for her. Friends that are awesome and don’t change how they treat her but are there for her.

ellie learns how fleeting life can be and that it is precious. She learns that she must not dwell on the situation but find a way to cope and overcome what is a horrible situation. She learns to fight and find the positive. She shows others that humour is a wonderful way to cope and face what is a situation that changes everything for someone.

the story is so wonderful and realistic. We see a situation that is hard and difficult be treated with kindness, humor and love. You feel all the emotions possible as you see Ellie go through this journey and fight for herself. You see her grow and mature but also show strength and beauty in how she faces her situation. The book entrances you and the characters have you fall in love with them. The topic is serious but written in a realistic way that convey the emotions that one goes through and how they cope and fight but also with lighthearted humour that just has you smile and see how truly special the book and Ellie is.