Annie Winifred Ellerman, born six years before the end of the 19th century, became a celebrated English novelist, poet, memoirist, and magazine editor. She is better known as Bryher, a name she chose for herself and took steps to make legal.
In this first of her two-volume memoir, Chapter 15 begins with this sentence: “I should like this book to be read neither as mere autobiography nor period piece but as an attempt to show how external events and unconscious drives help or hinder development.” (p 241) Most of the memoir deals with that notion, how as a child, adolescent, and young woman, she struggled against social convention and conditioning to become the person she wished to be. England and Europe at the fin de siècle, the Great War, and the coming of the Second form the backdrop for her growth and development as a person and a writer.
As a child she read voraciously and traveled extensively with her parents, developing twin passions for learning and travel. These unleashed her intellect which set her at odds with the social conventions placed on women held over from the Victorian into the Edwardian Age. Despite her parents’ unusual relationship (they were not married until several years after Bryher was born), their social position mandated adherence to those customs under which Bryher chafed for years. Two observations illustrate her discontent: "People do not mind if you read but they hate you if you think." And: "I had committed the unpardonable Victorian sin and made myself ‘conspicuous.’" (p 225)
Her training as a historian, her interest and exploration into psychology and childhood education, and lifelong pursuit of truth created a nucleus on which to draw as a novelist and essayist. She wrote: "The object of my search since I had been a small child was absolute truth…my vice is danger and there is nothing more perilous than to look at truth, that Gorgon’s head." (p 298)
She viewed her cohort as seeing the world in radically different ways from the previous generation as a consequence of the Great War. They fought an internal and external struggle to initiate change. "We were the last group to grow up under the formidable discipline of the nineteenth century whose effect … cannot be entirely eradicated from our systems. All of us had been taught as soon as we could speak that abnegation and hard work would give us security and peace. The battle of the trenches cracked this myth from one end of Europe to the other. The Armistice offered us influenza, inflation and loss." (p 241)
She chose a marriage of convenience rather than disappoint her parents or to return to their home. She observed: "…sex to me then was entirely a matter for science and I grasped immediately that birth control was far more important to women than votes. Nobody had the right to force a woman to have a child…it must be her choice as a matter of moral principle." (p 228)
The narrative includes many names of writers and poets, titles of their work, and conversations that influenced Bryher’s ideas about the world, and her comments on those individuals. The rapid pace of change in art and science produced excitement in the possibilities ahead. But as the 1930’s progressed, she noted: "We were so full of what we could do with the future that we never perceived the darker motives of our enemies, who were gathering strength to destroy us." (p 296)
As a historian, she understood what was coming and tried to spread the warning to England on deaf ears, prompting her to comment: "…apathy is the greatest sin in life." (p 326) Unable to stay on the sidelines as refugees fled the approaching holocaust, she worked to help many to escape.
Obnoxious as a child, Byrher became a fine writer which is apparent in this well-crafted memoir.