Why Can't I Drink Like Everyone Else?: A Step-by-Step Guide to Understanding Why You Drink and Knowing How to Take a Break

by Rachel Hart

Many people have silently asked themselves why can't I drink like everyone else? They wonder why sometimes it feels like alcohol has a pull over them, that they don't understand, and don't like to talk about. They are frustrated that other people can control how much they drink without any problem, when their efforts are often hit or miss.

Rachel Hart has spent years trying to answer these questions for herself and untangle this mystery. Deep down, she was afraid that her drinking was always going to be a problem, and grew more and more frustrated of the repercussions. As the years mounted, she worried that not being able to rein herself in meant something was really wrong with her.

There is a solution--and it doesn't require anyone to wear a label for the rest of their life or admit to being powerless. In fact, the tools outlined inside will reveal just how much power there is within each and every person struggling with this issue.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction

165 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 31, 2020

Reviews

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a very approachable introduction to understanding the emotional underpinnings to mild alcohol abuse and using cognitive-behavioral approaches to develop a better relationship with alcohol.

I wish she would have started with, instead of essentially saying 'calling myself an alcoholic was scary and put me off', with an emphasis on the ways that behavior didn't meet substance abuse disorder criteria. All that section did was reinforce the stigmas against sobriety and recovery.

I also would have wanted caveats explicitly advocating for psychotherapy to mend the psychosocial and emotional causes of even mild substance abuse; even though her recommendations would be very helpful in addition to that work, not advocating for professional support unless you were super bad off would harm rather than help many people on that journey. I would also say that even if the manifestations are mild, substance abuse and other behaviors rooted in trauma can't be addressed simply on the cognitive-behavioral/emotional level without addressing the trauma, and I wish that was addressed as well.

So, simply put, for someone who is not a mental health professional trying to write this material, it is decent and approachable. However, for me as a trauma-informed professional, I would be unlikely to recommend this book because of the ways it adds to existing stigmas around sobriety and the ways it falls short of recommending adequate professional help for what I would say are the majority of people who struggle with substance abuse challenges, even mild manifestations.

[Jessy Munch · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not a fan. I thought I was reading a memoir type book but it’s a coach trying to coach you into understanding why you drink. I don’t know her qualifications and as a person sober for 4 years did not find this helpful at all. I also could not find her qualifications either besides she’s a coach. Well everyone is a coach these days and a lot of what I read was already known to me. Definitely not worth reading if you are well into not drinking and aware and have tools. I understand not liking labels, I don’t either but legit their are people with alcoholism who cannot control their drinking and this book kind of acts like that’s not real. Hard pass for me. 23 pages in and wont be finishing it.

[Felicia Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Why Can’t I Drink Like Everyone Else?” by Rachel Hart

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for effectiveness.

***WARNING: This program (i.e., podcast, book, exercises/activities, etc.) is not meant for addicts or alcoholics. If the contents of this program do not help your struggles with alcohol abuse and/or your mental health starts to decline, please call your doctor/loved ones immediately. ❤️🙏🏼***

Alcohol became the perfect remedy to fix how I felt on the inside.

People who drink too much taught themselves a habit they can unlearn. They unconsciously taught their brain to use alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with negative emotions. Without information on how habits work or how to unravel them, efforts to change can be frustrating.

I knew I had one thing going for me: remember the girl who sat in the front row of class and wasn’t afraid to raise her hand? If there was one thing I was confident in, it was my ability to learn.

If you want to understand why you do what you do, you need to look no further than how you feel.

You have to learn to notice what you’re thinking and begin the process of distinguishing between the events in your life and your opinion of them.

I did not make a promise to myself that I would never drink again. ... I think they set us up for the same black-and-white thinking that keeps so many people stuck in the first place. Promises about how we are going to behave every single day for the rest of our life sends us down the path of perfectionism. ... By telling myself that I wasn’t making a decision for the rest of my life, took away so much pressure at the very beginning. Today, I don’t drink because I don’t desire to drink, not because I’ve made a solemn oath never to do so again or told myself that I can’t. At the same time, I also have a really clear picture of what’s important to me and what I want my life to look like, and I make my decisions in accordance with those values and goals.

You are supposed to feel uncomfortable.

Wanting to move quickly and get back to drinking can mean that you’re relying too much on willpower and may need more practice with the tools. Remember, the goal is not to stop drinking, the goal is to stop using alcohol as a crutch for the parts of your life where you experience discomfort.

First you need to determine whether you’re numbing yourself or comforting. ... almost everything you can comfort yourself with—food, money, exercise, TV, Facebook, sleep—you can also use to numb yourself.

If alcohol has become a crutch for you, it’s because you unconsciously taught your brain you needed it to feel better or to get through certain situations. You practiced using alcohol over and over again to have fun, relax, loosen up, numb sadness, give you energy, help you fall asleep, alleviate boredom—the list goes on. Your brain learned that having a drink was the best way to get rid of the discomfort.

“Why can’t I drink like everyone else?” I started to understand the folly in this question. How misleading it was to set up a world in which no one but me struggled.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt as if she was writing about me. Lots of great lessons for breaking any habit.

[Erica Carter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has a lot of good points especially for those people who don't necessarily vibe with the AA crowd. This approach encourages people to observe and reflect on their drinking without necessarily admitting complete lack of power or control over their life. There are some people who certainly should have zero contact with alcohol but a lot of folks struggle with binge drinking and making poor decisions regarding drinking. I think this book can definitely help people understand if alcohol is something they want to continue at all or if they need to alter their relationship with it. I highly recommend for anyone who has experienced shame and embarrassment after a night of drinking - so I pretty much recommend this book to anyone who drinks...

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not just for drinking!! I found Rachel Hart through her podcast recently which I originally avoided listening to because it is about drinking. My issues are overeating and overspending. But then I happened to listen to one of her episodes on urges and realized this can be applied to ANY bad habit you want to stop doing. I binge listened to multiple episodes. She is AMAZING! This book is also amazing and so helpful in teaching me about my thoughts and also how to be in my body and feel my emotions. So great!

[Trisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this geared more to the goal of becoming a nondrinker but the process shared can also apply to someone who would like to cut back as well. I appreciated Rachel's honesty of how she was able to make the positive changes in her life.

[Micha Goebig · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a good message but I found it to repetitive to keep me reading.

[Bridget Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel Hart delivers this book in common sense, been there manner that is believable and doable. I like that she based this book on her own experience, and that of many people she's coached.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Her online program is different, though based on many of the same concepts

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read and you can apply it to almost any bad habit you’re wanting to improve on or change.