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Andrea Vernon #1
Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection
Andrea Vernon always thought she would spend her life living in Paris writing thought-provoking historical novels all day and sipping wine on the Seine all night. But the reality is she's drowning in debt, has no prospects, and is forced to move back to Queens, where her parents remind her daily that they are very interested in grandchildren.
Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
Lots.
Her coworkers may be able to shoot lightning out of their hands or have skin made of diamonds, but they refuse to learn how to use the company's database. She has a swell hook-up buddy relationship with The Big Axe, but he's pushing to go exclusive. Then there's the small matter of a giant alien space egg hovering over Yankee Stadium, threatening civilization as we know it.
Will Andrea find contentment in office drudgery? Can she make a life together with a guy who's eight feet tall and never puts down his axe? And will she ever figure out how her boss likes her coffee?
Listening Length: 8 hours and 49 minutes
Then, one morning, she is kidnapped, interviewed, and hired as an administrative assistant by the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection. Superheroes for hire, using their powers for good. What could possibly go wrong?
Lots.
Her coworkers may be able to shoot lightning out of their hands or have skin made of diamonds, but they refuse to learn how to use the company's database. She has a swell hook-up buddy relationship with The Big Axe, but he's pushing to go exclusive. Then there's the small matter of a giant alien space egg hovering over Yankee Stadium, threatening civilization as we know it.
Will Andrea find contentment in office drudgery? Can she make a life together with a guy who's eight feet tall and never puts down his axe? And will she ever figure out how her boss likes her coffee?
Listening Length: 8 hours and 49 minutes
9 pages, Audible Audio
First published August 22, 2017
292 people are currently reading
1310 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 667 reviews
December 18, 2017
Admittedly...this book is very, very funny. Yet I have a beef with it. For hilarity alone, 5 stars. For political views, even giving Kane the benefit of the doubt...2 and 1/2 stars.
The tone here is very dry, satirical humor, and Kane nails it. AVATCFUP is like The Office meets The Avengers. The heroes complain and whine; they bitch about their salaries and benefits. They have odd quirks and behave in ridiculous ways. The dialogue is quite funny, and the characters, while absurd, have enough foibles to seem human...ish.
The premise is that in a near future, superheroes are neither vigilantes nor government funded. Instead, they work for private corporations that then have contracts with local and state governments. They defend their territory for profit while minding the bottom line. And the superhero corporations also compete with each other for contracts and staff. In this particular instance, the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (or CUP) manages to "steal" a contract from another corporation to protect the Bronx. And it just so happens that a giant egg spaceship that came through a rift in space is poised over Yankee stadium and possibly about to release a horde of aliens to take over the world. As part of their legally binding contract, will CUP be able to stop them with minimum loss of human life and property damage? Or will we all wake up dead tomorrow? You'll have to listen to find out, as this is an audiobook only release. The voiceover actress gives an outstanding performance...perfect comedic timing, great voices, very likable. She deserves 5 stars.
So, to my political beef. Andrea Vernon, the main character, is a very smart college grad who seems to be aimlessly drifting without focus or career plans. She's hired as the administrative assistant (right-hand woman, really) to the President of the company...a crotchety little old Asian woman from down South who runs the company with an iron hand, Southern wit and a mind to profitability. Andrea's brother works for the New York state government…I believe he is a state senator, and he believes that the corporations should not be trusted to run security and protection for society. Essentially, CUP is a private police force against supervillains. Or, like a private military contractor such as Triple Canopy today. Corporate mercenaries, basically. Andrea’s brother is portrayed as a pompous, somewhat naïve buffoon. And while CUP is satirized and Kane gets a lot of comedic mileage out of tongue-in-cheek efforts to save humanity while at the same time being mindful of administrative responsibilities (so you saved the school, but did you file the TPS report afterwards?), in the end CUP is portrayed as an effective and heroic team defending the country at the risk of their own lives.
In our day, with a President who wants to dismantle government in all its aspects and has blatant disregard for regulations and science, to make fun of government as an administrative morass versus the delusion of corporate “efficiency” is both inaccurate and morally indefensible. For a long time now, as right wing think tanks and funders like the Koch brothers have promoted, the Republican party has sought to discredit the capabilities of government to help the people. This can be found, for example, in the techniques they have used to discredit Social Security and portray it as collapsing with the goal in mind of converting all retirement funding to the stock market…and as a result a belief that government “won’t be there for you” has been instilled in people so the majority no longer demand it or think it’s even capable of it. We must turn to the “free market” for solutions to all of life’s problems. The shift has been made through both propaganda and specific efforts to weaken, defund and hobble government’s ability to oversee corporate malfeasance.
I’m willing to give Kane some benefit of the doubt in that there is always an ironic tone to the corporate humor. The playing off of cost/benefit analysis against human life and the secret, possibly alien or demonic corporate board behind CUP. But in the end, CUP agents do act selflessly and risk their lives to save humanity. So…the corporate way must be best after all? It rankled me at times. Perhaps Kane took this route simply as comedic expedient. Perhaps he’s not a political conservative. If so, I hope if he does another book in this series, he thinks a bit more about the real ramifications of privatization. Jennifer Government is a good example of a novel that addresses privatization of government services in a way that is actually considerate rather than glib. Swipe your credit card if you’d like help from the FBI to find your missing child. After all, won’t the search be more efficient if it’s for-profit?
The tone here is very dry, satirical humor, and Kane nails it. AVATCFUP is like The Office meets The Avengers. The heroes complain and whine; they bitch about their salaries and benefits. They have odd quirks and behave in ridiculous ways. The dialogue is quite funny, and the characters, while absurd, have enough foibles to seem human...ish.
The premise is that in a near future, superheroes are neither vigilantes nor government funded. Instead, they work for private corporations that then have contracts with local and state governments. They defend their territory for profit while minding the bottom line. And the superhero corporations also compete with each other for contracts and staff. In this particular instance, the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (or CUP) manages to "steal" a contract from another corporation to protect the Bronx. And it just so happens that a giant egg spaceship that came through a rift in space is poised over Yankee stadium and possibly about to release a horde of aliens to take over the world. As part of their legally binding contract, will CUP be able to stop them with minimum loss of human life and property damage? Or will we all wake up dead tomorrow? You'll have to listen to find out, as this is an audiobook only release. The voiceover actress gives an outstanding performance...perfect comedic timing, great voices, very likable. She deserves 5 stars.
So, to my political beef. Andrea Vernon, the main character, is a very smart college grad who seems to be aimlessly drifting without focus or career plans. She's hired as the administrative assistant (right-hand woman, really) to the President of the company...a crotchety little old Asian woman from down South who runs the company with an iron hand, Southern wit and a mind to profitability. Andrea's brother works for the New York state government…I believe he is a state senator, and he believes that the corporations should not be trusted to run security and protection for society. Essentially, CUP is a private police force against supervillains. Or, like a private military contractor such as Triple Canopy today. Corporate mercenaries, basically. Andrea’s brother is portrayed as a pompous, somewhat naïve buffoon. And while CUP is satirized and Kane gets a lot of comedic mileage out of tongue-in-cheek efforts to save humanity while at the same time being mindful of administrative responsibilities (so you saved the school, but did you file the TPS report afterwards?), in the end CUP is portrayed as an effective and heroic team defending the country at the risk of their own lives.
In our day, with a President who wants to dismantle government in all its aspects and has blatant disregard for regulations and science, to make fun of government as an administrative morass versus the delusion of corporate “efficiency” is both inaccurate and morally indefensible. For a long time now, as right wing think tanks and funders like the Koch brothers have promoted, the Republican party has sought to discredit the capabilities of government to help the people. This can be found, for example, in the techniques they have used to discredit Social Security and portray it as collapsing with the goal in mind of converting all retirement funding to the stock market…and as a result a belief that government “won’t be there for you” has been instilled in people so the majority no longer demand it or think it’s even capable of it. We must turn to the “free market” for solutions to all of life’s problems. The shift has been made through both propaganda and specific efforts to weaken, defund and hobble government’s ability to oversee corporate malfeasance.
I’m willing to give Kane some benefit of the doubt in that there is always an ironic tone to the corporate humor. The playing off of cost/benefit analysis against human life and the secret, possibly alien or demonic corporate board behind CUP. But in the end, CUP agents do act selflessly and risk their lives to save humanity. So…the corporate way must be best after all? It rankled me at times. Perhaps Kane took this route simply as comedic expedient. Perhaps he’s not a political conservative. If so, I hope if he does another book in this series, he thinks a bit more about the real ramifications of privatization. Jennifer Government is a good example of a novel that addresses privatization of government services in a way that is actually considerate rather than glib. Swipe your credit card if you’d like help from the FBI to find your missing child. After all, won’t the search be more efficient if it’s for-profit?
September 19, 2018
ARRRGH! I have no idea how to fairly rate this book. It's taken me months to finish this because I kept getting really bored with it and never managed to do more than a chapter or two before abandoning it for something else. I don't even know why I felt so much obligation to finish this one. I guess I kept thinking it would maybe get better, and it just really, really seemed like something I *should* like.
In this story, we follow Andrea Vernon as she starts work as an administrative assistant to the boss of a corporation that contracts with and deploys superheroes to fight super villains. Although the story is mostly told from Andrea's perspective, each chapter has her interacting with a different employee (either from the admin side or the superhero side) of the company. Efficient as they all may be, errors occasionally happen, super villains show up, and hi-jinks ensue.
I don't even really know why I found this to be so darn tedious to finish. Parts of it were very humorous and parts were terribly clever. I actually really enjoyed some bits. But then the rest was just very boring. I think some of the scenes were very repetitive (especially the action sequences), and there was such a large cast of characters that it was kind of hard to keep them straight. Also, while I appreciate the range of voices that Bahni Turpin brought to the story, some of them were over the top or grating, and that really irritated me.
Overall, I'm down the middle with this at 2.5 stars (rounded up solely for the scenes including the Big Axe and/or Inspector Well Actually). I suspect people who have worked in traditional office jobs might appreciate this more than I did. Also maybe bigger fans of superhero stuff. I dunno.
Badass Female Character score: 5/5 -- all the women are strong and capable and there was no dickitude happening here (when it did occasionally seem to be about to happen, the offending character would be very quickly put in his place).
In this story, we follow Andrea Vernon as she starts work as an administrative assistant to the boss of a corporation that contracts with and deploys superheroes to fight super villains. Although the story is mostly told from Andrea's perspective, each chapter has her interacting with a different employee (either from the admin side or the superhero side) of the company. Efficient as they all may be, errors occasionally happen, super villains show up, and hi-jinks ensue.
I don't even really know why I found this to be so darn tedious to finish. Parts of it were very humorous and parts were terribly clever. I actually really enjoyed some bits. But then the rest was just very boring. I think some of the scenes were very repetitive (especially the action sequences), and there was such a large cast of characters that it was kind of hard to keep them straight. Also, while I appreciate the range of voices that Bahni Turpin brought to the story, some of them were over the top or grating, and that really irritated me.
Overall, I'm down the middle with this at 2.5 stars (rounded up solely for the scenes including the Big Axe and/or Inspector Well Actually). I suspect people who have worked in traditional office jobs might appreciate this more than I did. Also maybe bigger fans of superhero stuff. I dunno.
Badass Female Character score: 5/5 -- all the women are strong and capable and there was no dickitude happening here (when it did occasionally seem to be about to happen, the offending character would be very quickly put in his place).
August 9, 2018
This review was originally posted on Books of My Heart
Occasionally the Audible daily deal tempts me to give a chance to a book I wouldn’t normally try, like say a story about the administrative assistant at a company for superheroes. I’m a girl who loves a deal and so when this was the daily deal I picked it up. I mean, who isn’t looking for a different take on the entire superhero franchise?
The best part is, it is pretty light and funny. Andrea Vernon is offered a job at a company that just happens to deal in superheroes and their protection. The biggest requirement for her getting the job was she isn’t allowed to ask questions. That does make it a little more difficult to figure out how your boss likes their coffee but it seems she managed it eventually. It is like any other company with salesmen and contract negotiations and all the other day to day interoffice issues you might face but with superheroes.
There are a ton of silly jokes and it was fun to try and figure out how the entire corporation ran. The bidding wars between other companies with superheroes, the contracts and how serious each superhero took themselves. Some of the running joke stuff got a little monotonous, I mean I can’t take a like/love interest seriously that refers to himself as THE BIG AXE every other sentence when on page, I just can’t. Actually, all the superhero names were kinda a mouthful, I longed for something simple like The Tick after a while.
There is a plot too with an alien egg, a space puppy and the imminent destruction of the world on the line so the story was pretty interesting but pacing was a little bit of an issue for me due to the nature of the names of all the characters and a few running jokes that ran a little too long for my taste.
If you are in the mood for something superhero adjacent then this audiobook might hit the mark.
Narration:
I like Bahni Turpin; she did well with all the characters and did bring the story to life. I’d easily listen to other books narrated by her. I’d actually like to see what she would do with a story in a different genre.
Listen to a clip here:
Occasionally the Audible daily deal tempts me to give a chance to a book I wouldn’t normally try, like say a story about the administrative assistant at a company for superheroes. I’m a girl who loves a deal and so when this was the daily deal I picked it up. I mean, who isn’t looking for a different take on the entire superhero franchise?
The best part is, it is pretty light and funny. Andrea Vernon is offered a job at a company that just happens to deal in superheroes and their protection. The biggest requirement for her getting the job was she isn’t allowed to ask questions. That does make it a little more difficult to figure out how your boss likes their coffee but it seems she managed it eventually. It is like any other company with salesmen and contract negotiations and all the other day to day interoffice issues you might face but with superheroes.
There are a ton of silly jokes and it was fun to try and figure out how the entire corporation ran. The bidding wars between other companies with superheroes, the contracts and how serious each superhero took themselves. Some of the running joke stuff got a little monotonous, I mean I can’t take a like/love interest seriously that refers to himself as THE BIG AXE every other sentence when on page, I just can’t. Actually, all the superhero names were kinda a mouthful, I longed for something simple like The Tick after a while.
There is a plot too with an alien egg, a space puppy and the imminent destruction of the world on the line so the story was pretty interesting but pacing was a little bit of an issue for me due to the nature of the names of all the characters and a few running jokes that ran a little too long for my taste.
If you are in the mood for something superhero adjacent then this audiobook might hit the mark.
Narration:
I like Bahni Turpin; she did well with all the characters and did bring the story to life. I’d easily listen to other books narrated by her. I’d actually like to see what she would do with a story in a different genre.
Listen to a clip here:
February 22, 2022
*** 4.44 ***
This was hilarious! I did this on audio and not only was the writing sharp and funny, but the narrator was awesome! Then why not 5*? Because I think it's not exactly perfect, but very close, for the genre😃. I am kind of stingy with my five stars ratings when it comes to first books in series, because I give series time to develop, hoping that the author and the characters grow as we go...
Andrea Vernon is a New Yorker from Haitian descent who is dreaming about writing a book and traveling through Europe... She is unemployed at the moment and has received 17 rejections from job applications... Until CUP, Corporation for Ultrahuman Protection, decides to hire her as an administrative assistant to the VP... The main condition - never ask questions!
It is wonderful to follow AV's internal monologue, her conventional thinking clashing and absorbing the unconventional circumstances of being surrounded by superheroes and their daily worries. Like, how long does it take for CUP to start matching your 401K, or how to ask for a raise without loosing your job or dignity, and how come the most important and high-valued employees of the company are the sales people... Also, how do most of those enhanced humans have "relations" with their differently composed bodies... And other stuff 😎.
Andrea Vernon is finding her way in the corporate world while the greatest threat to maybe the world, is threatening from alien invasion. On top of that, she has to face her commitment issues or risk loosing a really good guy. He is not a doctor or a politician, but he is good despite wearing overalls... Hopefully her family approves...
I truly enjoyed this audio book and am planning on getting the rest of the series the same way. Since currently I have been reading some heavy and dark big Fantasy novels, this is a breath of fresh air! Recommend it for all ages and reading tastes. You have to see if it works for you 👍😃
This was hilarious! I did this on audio and not only was the writing sharp and funny, but the narrator was awesome! Then why not 5*? Because I think it's not exactly perfect, but very close, for the genre😃. I am kind of stingy with my five stars ratings when it comes to first books in series, because I give series time to develop, hoping that the author and the characters grow as we go...
Andrea Vernon is a New Yorker from Haitian descent who is dreaming about writing a book and traveling through Europe... She is unemployed at the moment and has received 17 rejections from job applications... Until CUP, Corporation for Ultrahuman Protection, decides to hire her as an administrative assistant to the VP... The main condition - never ask questions!
It is wonderful to follow AV's internal monologue, her conventional thinking clashing and absorbing the unconventional circumstances of being surrounded by superheroes and their daily worries. Like, how long does it take for CUP to start matching your 401K, or how to ask for a raise without loosing your job or dignity, and how come the most important and high-valued employees of the company are the sales people... Also, how do most of those enhanced humans have "relations" with their differently composed bodies... And other stuff 😎.
Andrea Vernon is finding her way in the corporate world while the greatest threat to maybe the world, is threatening from alien invasion. On top of that, she has to face her commitment issues or risk loosing a really good guy. He is not a doctor or a politician, but he is good despite wearing overalls... Hopefully her family approves...
I truly enjoyed this audio book and am planning on getting the rest of the series the same way. Since currently I have been reading some heavy and dark big Fantasy novels, this is a breath of fresh air! Recommend it for all ages and reading tastes. You have to see if it works for you 👍😃
July 4, 2018
This book sounds like a bad joke at some points.
A Lumberjack, Tiger-man, and Alien Diamond Rabbi walk into a bar after securing the contract to save the city from a giant alien egg.
It is actually way funnier than I could figure a whole joke for though. Plus you got to avoid spoilers! This is all about Andrea Vernon though. Her parents moved from Haiti to Queens, NY and her siblings are all about their titles "State Senator" "Professor" "Doctor". At 28 she has her degrees and loves to travel, but comes off with lots of commitment issues in all other aspects of her life. Yet even with a small bit of romance among other things, she grows more confident and remains empowered as a person. Atleast this what I took from it, whatever you got from it is cool too. It made me smile and wish for a golden space puppy that I didn't realize I wanted so I don't really care about much else. I'm sure someone wouldn't enjoy some of the silly aspects like teleporter Joe who has leaves strange side effects on the teleported. I sure did though! Ehh, maybe not that specific story point but other silly bits definitely.
Hoping for a sequel or anything else from the author in the future.
A Lumberjack, Tiger-man, and Alien Diamond Rabbi walk into a bar after securing the contract to save the city from a giant alien egg.
It is actually way funnier than I could figure a whole joke for though. Plus you got to avoid spoilers! This is all about Andrea Vernon though. Her parents moved from Haiti to Queens, NY and her siblings are all about their titles "State Senator" "Professor" "Doctor". At 28 she has her degrees and loves to travel, but comes off with lots of commitment issues in all other aspects of her life. Yet even with a small bit of romance among other things, she grows more confident and remains empowered as a person. Atleast this what I took from it, whatever you got from it is cool too. It made me smile and wish for a golden space puppy that I didn't realize I wanted so I don't really care about much else. I'm sure someone wouldn't enjoy some of the silly aspects like teleporter Joe who has leaves strange side effects on the teleported. I sure did though! Ehh, maybe not that specific story point but other silly bits definitely.
Hoping for a sequel or anything else from the author in the future.
February 3, 2018
What a combo! The story was great and Bahni Turpin did a fantastic job narrating it.
I started this audiobook a few times before I felt like I was in the mood to listen to it. I figured it would be funny. I didn't expect it to be such an engaging tale with awesome characters. The humor in it had me laughing/snorting from start to finish. The story base is fairly simple but it's so well done! I was definitely swept along by the smart writing and seamless sequences peppered with awkward observations and actions that had me cackling in delight.
This is a story about superheroes and saving the day from potential annihilation. You get a good look into the nitty-gritty details about what it takes to run a hero business. The hiring process, sales, contracts and damage control. A look into the office side of the flashy glory.
Go find a copy from your library, audiobook club, Audible, etc and settle in for a hilarious ride with a very average human named Andrea Vernon. You won't regret it. I didn't!
I am stingy with 5 star ratings for a variety of reasons. This book gets five stars because the story is good from start to finish and Turpin did an amazing job interpreting it. The two make this an A+ story and audio entertainment. I'm not sure if I would rate it this high without it being this particular combo. I had a great time and it feels good to add another book to my favorite list.
I started this audiobook a few times before I felt like I was in the mood to listen to it. I figured it would be funny. I didn't expect it to be such an engaging tale with awesome characters. The humor in it had me laughing/snorting from start to finish. The story base is fairly simple but it's so well done! I was definitely swept along by the smart writing and seamless sequences peppered with awkward observations and actions that had me cackling in delight.
This is a story about superheroes and saving the day from potential annihilation. You get a good look into the nitty-gritty details about what it takes to run a hero business. The hiring process, sales, contracts and damage control. A look into the office side of the flashy glory.
Go find a copy from your library, audiobook club, Audible, etc and settle in for a hilarious ride with a very average human named Andrea Vernon. You won't regret it. I didn't!
I am stingy with 5 star ratings for a variety of reasons. This book gets five stars because the story is good from start to finish and Turpin did an amazing job interpreting it. The two make this an A+ story and audio entertainment. I'm not sure if I would rate it this high without it being this particular combo. I had a great time and it feels good to add another book to my favorite list.
dnf
July 15, 2018DNF @ 28%
I have a sense of humor, I swear. It’s just… sarcastic and dark. Doesn’t make it any less funny.
Goofy humor? I don’t get. I understand that a joke was intended, but my brain clearly lacks the proper wiring for actual laughter to occur. That’s exactly what it was like listening to Andrea Vernon. Bahni Turpin does a superb job narrating what I’m sure is a very hilarious and entertaining tale about superheroes. But we’re not talking superheroes like Wolverine. No, instead we’ve got Teleporter Joe who can only teleport one way to Roosevelt Island (and only when he has an erection) and anyone that teleports with him gets diarrhea.
I received this book free from the Author in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
I have a sense of humor, I swear. It’s just… sarcastic and dark. Doesn’t make it any less funny.
Goofy humor? I don’t get. I understand that a joke was intended, but my brain clearly lacks the proper wiring for actual laughter to occur. That’s exactly what it was like listening to Andrea Vernon. Bahni Turpin does a superb job narrating what I’m sure is a very hilarious and entertaining tale about superheroes. But we’re not talking superheroes like Wolverine. No, instead we’ve got Teleporter Joe who can only teleport one way to Roosevelt Island (and only when he has an erection) and anyone that teleports with him gets diarrhea.
I received this book free from the Author in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
December 9, 2017
This audiobook is pretty funny.
It reminds me just a little of Douglas Adams' books.
It's entertaining and quite a lot of fun. A great way to kill some time but I don't think it's in that league. Still, even being compared to Douglas Adams is pretty good.
It reminds me just a little of Douglas Adams' books.
It's entertaining and quite a lot of fun. A great way to kill some time but I don't think it's in that league. Still, even being compared to Douglas Adams is pretty good.
January 30, 2020
What campy fun! I loved listening to this. It was cute, well done, adventurous and funny. Andrea Vernon, a Haitian-American, brilliant former Ivy leaguer who has been working nothing jobs just to afford her next travel adventure is getting older and needs a new, more substantial job, and boy does she get one. She’s now an administrative assistant for a super hero corporation known as CUP, and she has to excel at her position without asking questions. This is going to be an adventure.
August 31, 2017
Super fun! It reminded me of Neal Gaimen's lighter more fun stuff. Like Good Omens. I may just listen again.
February 27, 2020
More like 3.5 stars ⭐️. This is an imaginative, funny, and entertaining audiobook with excellent narration by Bahni Turpin (5 stars ⭐️ for her alone). A great way to pass the time!
July 15, 2018
Sorry, not sorry for 1 star rating? I can't justify giving higher for a book I couldn't bring myself to hear 50% of. The audible narrator was talented which makes it even more shocking that I couldn't finish.
The entire of point of this book seems to be to crack jokes, and if your sense of humor doesn't align, there's pretty much nothing left in this story to fall back on to keep you interested. I could ignore humor that's not my style if there was a good plot and story beneath it. As it is there's nothing to emotionally connect you with the characters and no plot to keep you engaged. It's just one thing we don't care about after another after another.
The liberties taken with the laws of physics are horrendous (No you can't float beside a black hole in space and dip an axe in it like an ice fishing hole). I'm at a loss to understand how someone could make a book about super heroes - a topic I love - so boring.
Did not finish at 35%%. Could not finish. That's three-ish hours of my life I'll never have back again. If you like the style of humor in this book, it'll be worth your time. It was not worth mine.
The entire of point of this book seems to be to crack jokes, and if your sense of humor doesn't align, there's pretty much nothing left in this story to fall back on to keep you interested. I could ignore humor that's not my style if there was a good plot and story beneath it. As it is there's nothing to emotionally connect you with the characters and no plot to keep you engaged. It's just one thing we don't care about after another after another.
The liberties taken with the laws of physics are horrendous (No you can't float beside a black hole in space and dip an axe in it like an ice fishing hole). I'm at a loss to understand how someone could make a book about super heroes - a topic I love - so boring.
Did not finish at 35%%. Could not finish. That's three-ish hours of my life I'll never have back again. If you like the style of humor in this book, it'll be worth your time. It was not worth mine.
September 16, 2018
Great on audio. That Bahni Turpin is amazing. She added lots to the already fun story.
I used to work for a government agency who was very much into saving the world. So I felt right at home at Andrea‘s firm. The way the superheroes gave IT a hard time about using that database for example was spot on.
I did read some other books alongside this one, and I took my time. But I always liked coming back to this world and Andrea. Also the Big Axe was a refreshing kind of romantic interest.
And of course it is just great when the backstage people in admin, HR and so on for once get to stand in the spotlight, right alongside the heroes.
I used to work for a government agency who was very much into saving the world. So I felt right at home at Andrea‘s firm. The way the superheroes gave IT a hard time about using that database for example was spot on.
I did read some other books alongside this one, and I took my time. But I always liked coming back to this world and Andrea. Also the Big Axe was a refreshing kind of romantic interest.
And of course it is just great when the backstage people in admin, HR and so on for once get to stand in the spotlight, right alongside the heroes.
January 22, 2022
https://booknest.eu/reviews/charles/2...
ANDREA VERNON AND THE CORPORATION FOR ULTRAHUMAN PROTECTION is an absolutely hilarious book that I recommend not only buying it but definitely picking up all three volumes as well as the audiobook version. Andrea Vernon not only manages to satirize corporate culture, workplace drama, superheroes, and politics but does so in a way that you never feel like you're being talked at. It is such a delightfully silly and ridiculous world that you almost miss how smart a lot of the satire is. It reminds me of Pratchett and, more recently, J. Zachary Pike's Orconomics.
The premise is that Andrea Vernon, New York 2nd generation Haitian American, is hired as a secretary for the titular Corporation for Ultrahuman Protection AKA CUP. Cup is a corporation that handles the superhero contracts for much of America. If you have problems with supervillains, alien invasion, mole people, robots, or natural disasters then they are the people to turn to. There are other superhero corporations, especially Da Superheroes in the Bronx, but CUP has the advantage of the world's greatest salesmen. Oh and their superheroes aren't terrible either.
Much of the book is about Andrea Vernon adapting to her peculiar office environment. The Senior Partners of CUP are like the ones from Wolfram and Hart in Angel, mysterious and all-powerful, but their daily boss is Ms. Oh who embodies every Southern stereotype imaginable (except for being Korean). She also has to deal with mad scientists, underpaid superheroes, and the fact there's a giant alien egg that has landed in the Bronx. My favorite part of the book was where Andrea had to suit up in an Iron Man-esque suit of armor to make sure their marketing guy got to a meeting in time. This despite the fact her body type doesn't fit into it due to being built for a Romanian gymnast.
The mysterious space egg provides much of the story's primary plotline and is a source of great amusement. While CUP the best qualified to handle the world destroying threat, there's countless considerations that need to be taken into account like the fact the Bronx is outside their jurisdiction and they need to acquire the contract for its handling before moving in. The government is also of the mind that CUP is overcharging and Andrea's state senator brother is leading the charge against private superhero contractors.
My favorite character is probably Doctor Well Actually who has the power to answer virtually any sort of question whatsoever but requires him to be correcting someone else. This makes him probably the most insufferable person on Earth and has certainly caused his girlfriend no end of frustration. However, he's an incredibly amusing take on the Smart Guy and I love how Andrea plays off of him in particular. I'm also fond of the 8ft tall, The Big Axe, who is basically their equivalent of Thor but who has an especial fondness for Andrea.
I've always enjoyed superhero worlds that try to get into the nitty gritty about how they function. One of my favorite character concepts was Damage Control from Marvel Comics in the Eighties. You know, the people who clean up after superhero battles. I also was a huge fan of She-Hulk when it focused on her being a lawyer for her fellow superheroes (and some supervillains). This deals with the idea of government contractors and just because Andrea works for some doesn't mean that it agrees they should be an unregulated industry (and this becomes increasingly clear in the sequels).
This book is very silly and all the more entertaining for it. It's the kind of book where a superhero demands the surrender of a bunch of alien invaders and has no idea what to do when said surrender is actually achieved. Bahni Turpin is an immensely likable narrator and does Andrea well. About my only regret is the fact that I do like to read along and the third book is an Audible exclusive.
ANDREA VERNON AND THE CORPORATION FOR ULTRAHUMAN PROTECTION is an absolutely hilarious book that I recommend not only buying it but definitely picking up all three volumes as well as the audiobook version. Andrea Vernon not only manages to satirize corporate culture, workplace drama, superheroes, and politics but does so in a way that you never feel like you're being talked at. It is such a delightfully silly and ridiculous world that you almost miss how smart a lot of the satire is. It reminds me of Pratchett and, more recently, J. Zachary Pike's Orconomics.
The premise is that Andrea Vernon, New York 2nd generation Haitian American, is hired as a secretary for the titular Corporation for Ultrahuman Protection AKA CUP. Cup is a corporation that handles the superhero contracts for much of America. If you have problems with supervillains, alien invasion, mole people, robots, or natural disasters then they are the people to turn to. There are other superhero corporations, especially Da Superheroes in the Bronx, but CUP has the advantage of the world's greatest salesmen. Oh and their superheroes aren't terrible either.
Much of the book is about Andrea Vernon adapting to her peculiar office environment. The Senior Partners of CUP are like the ones from Wolfram and Hart in Angel, mysterious and all-powerful, but their daily boss is Ms. Oh who embodies every Southern stereotype imaginable (except for being Korean). She also has to deal with mad scientists, underpaid superheroes, and the fact there's a giant alien egg that has landed in the Bronx. My favorite part of the book was where Andrea had to suit up in an Iron Man-esque suit of armor to make sure their marketing guy got to a meeting in time. This despite the fact her body type doesn't fit into it due to being built for a Romanian gymnast.
The mysterious space egg provides much of the story's primary plotline and is a source of great amusement. While CUP the best qualified to handle the world destroying threat, there's countless considerations that need to be taken into account like the fact the Bronx is outside their jurisdiction and they need to acquire the contract for its handling before moving in. The government is also of the mind that CUP is overcharging and Andrea's state senator brother is leading the charge against private superhero contractors.
My favorite character is probably Doctor Well Actually who has the power to answer virtually any sort of question whatsoever but requires him to be correcting someone else. This makes him probably the most insufferable person on Earth and has certainly caused his girlfriend no end of frustration. However, he's an incredibly amusing take on the Smart Guy and I love how Andrea plays off of him in particular. I'm also fond of the 8ft tall, The Big Axe, who is basically their equivalent of Thor but who has an especial fondness for Andrea.
I've always enjoyed superhero worlds that try to get into the nitty gritty about how they function. One of my favorite character concepts was Damage Control from Marvel Comics in the Eighties. You know, the people who clean up after superhero battles. I also was a huge fan of She-Hulk when it focused on her being a lawyer for her fellow superheroes (and some supervillains). This deals with the idea of government contractors and just because Andrea works for some doesn't mean that it agrees they should be an unregulated industry (and this becomes increasingly clear in the sequels).
This book is very silly and all the more entertaining for it. It's the kind of book where a superhero demands the surrender of a bunch of alien invaders and has no idea what to do when said surrender is actually achieved. Bahni Turpin is an immensely likable narrator and does Andrea well. About my only regret is the fact that I do like to read along and the third book is an Audible exclusive.
September 25, 2024
Alexander C. Kane has an inventive mind when it comes to superheroes and villains. The range of abilities and the uses to which they are put are both believable (in a superhero universe) and funny. Combining this with an office atmosphere full of sales meetings, government restrictions, and contracts is surprisingly effective and ... of course ... funny. My favorite hero is Inspector Well Actually. He's the most brilliant man on earth but can't analyze a situation unless someone makes a flatly wrong statement that he can contradict. Hence the name "Well Actually."
Andrea's adventures wrap all these elements together into a surprisingly tense tale of saving the world from aliens. It's like a comic book but without the pictures. And that works because Bahni Turpin's narration is spot on.
Andrea's adventures wrap all these elements together into a surprisingly tense tale of saving the world from aliens. It's like a comic book but without the pictures. And that works because Bahni Turpin's narration is spot on.
August 27, 2017
I love this book! It's very Douglas Adams, but so distinct to New York the way Hitchhiker's Guide is so delightfully British. Andrea Vernon is such a great character, she even outshines the superheroes, who all have hilarious names and powers. This was my first Audible book, and the narrator was perfect. I can't wait to reread it when the hardcover book comes out, and I will definitely read anything Alexander C. Kane writes in the future.
May 2, 2020
2 stars for the story, extra star for the talented narrator.
June 21, 2021
This is a wonderful satire, not just of the superhero genre (which I appreciate having frown up on old-time Superman comic books) but also of the corporate world.
The Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (CUP) is one of many companies around that employs superheroes and dispatches them to address various crises. A world-threatening crisis unfolds in Bronx, New York, when a giant egg descends and hovers over Yankee Stadium. CUP wants to do the job, but it must fight top get the gig against another superhero outfit that sees the bronx as its home territory. Get the picture?
Each chapter is a gem unto itself, skewering a particular aspect of modern commerce and/or depicting a particular type of superhero. My favorite is the one who goes under the name Well Actually. His power is his breathtakingly obnoxious personality, which compels him to respond to anything said by uttering “Well, actually . . .” before going on to completely contradict the speaker. In other words, he combats villains by annoying the crap out of the. Not sure I describe it well. You have to experience it for yourself.
The reason I give it only three stars is because as great as the satire is, the work really doesn’t hold together as a novel. It’s easy to read a chapter love it, put the book (or in my case, the audio) down and not feel any pressure to get back to it. Considering the story line involves potential destruction of the Earth, one would hope the author would keep you motivated to satay with it. But the chapters come off as independent stand-up routines. But as standup routines, they’re great — if you love satire.
The Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (CUP) is one of many companies around that employs superheroes and dispatches them to address various crises. A world-threatening crisis unfolds in Bronx, New York, when a giant egg descends and hovers over Yankee Stadium. CUP wants to do the job, but it must fight top get the gig against another superhero outfit that sees the bronx as its home territory. Get the picture?
Each chapter is a gem unto itself, skewering a particular aspect of modern commerce and/or depicting a particular type of superhero. My favorite is the one who goes under the name Well Actually. His power is his breathtakingly obnoxious personality, which compels him to respond to anything said by uttering “Well, actually . . .” before going on to completely contradict the speaker. In other words, he combats villains by annoying the crap out of the. Not sure I describe it well. You have to experience it for yourself.
The reason I give it only three stars is because as great as the satire is, the work really doesn’t hold together as a novel. It’s easy to read a chapter love it, put the book (or in my case, the audio) down and not feel any pressure to get back to it. Considering the story line involves potential destruction of the Earth, one would hope the author would keep you motivated to satay with it. But the chapters come off as independent stand-up routines. But as standup routines, they’re great — if you love satire.
September 19, 2021
This story is like the improbable, but not impossible, scenario: someone says, "I'm going to put on my unicorn footie pajamas and buy a 5 foot bag of cotton candy. I'm then going to hang a sign around my unicorn onesie neck that says 'LIFE' and walk around New York City handing out lemons on street corners. And then I'll laugh and say to the passerbys, 'Just kidding. I'm a unicorn. I wouldn't be so complex as to be an analogy or metaphor. Have some cotton candy instead! Just because it's good, plain fun. No lemons needed.'" And a mature adult would say, "But what does it mean? There has to be a deeper meaning." And a small child, wise beyond their years would say, "Nothing. He said it was just for fun." And the guy in the suit is probably John Cena, because what wouldn't that guy try... if that happened, you would get Napoleon Dynamite. And Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for Ultra Human Protection.
I had a ton of fun with this story. It was absurd and laughable in a way that said, "We're taking nothing seriously right now. Just have fun."
The narrator was fantastic, but it's also worth noting this is a story directed towards adults. The hilarious head-butting between CUHP and the government almost poked fun at the concept of socialized medicine. But at the same time, I really don't think the author was making any sort of statement against it as much as he wanted a scape for absurd sibling rivalry.
I'd rate this a TV-14 for slapstick violence, swearing, adult humor, and implied sexual encounters.
I had a ton of fun with this story. It was absurd and laughable in a way that said, "We're taking nothing seriously right now. Just have fun."
The narrator was fantastic, but it's also worth noting this is a story directed towards adults. The hilarious head-butting between CUHP and the government almost poked fun at the concept of socialized medicine. But at the same time, I really don't think the author was making any sort of statement against it as much as he wanted a scape for absurd sibling rivalry.
I'd rate this a TV-14 for slapstick violence, swearing, adult humor, and implied sexual encounters.
February 12, 2021
I guess this might've made a good comic book, or maybe an all right TV series along the lines of The Tick. As a novel-length story played mostly for humor with little serious character development or conflict, it doesn't really work very well for me.
The final battle at the end, when a bunch of different story threads were supposed to be happening simultaneously, was a bit confusing at times. I had the impression that the Obstreperous Swarm appeared twice. It was only later that I figured out that it was the same event covered again to connect two different simultaneous story threads.
I might check out the sequel if I can pick it up for extra cheap, as I did with this one, but probably not
The final battle at the end, when a bunch of different story threads were supposed to be happening simultaneously, was a bit confusing at times. I had the impression that the Obstreperous Swarm appeared twice. It was only later that I figured out that it was the same event covered again to connect two different simultaneous story threads.
I might check out the sequel if I can pick it up for extra cheap, as I did with this one, but probably not
March 4, 2018
Honestly, I couldn't finish this one. I tapped out around the 60% mark because I just wasn't enjoying it and I didn't actually care what happened.
There wasn't really anything I can point at that made it bad. It was just overall severely mediocre. The humor fell flat at every turn. The parts that were clever ended all too soon. There was no satire as advertised. It just kind of didn't leave an impression.
The book's concept is good in theory, but it just didn't pan out. So, I don't recommend this to anyone.
There wasn't really anything I can point at that made it bad. It was just overall severely mediocre. The humor fell flat at every turn. The parts that were clever ended all too soon. There was no satire as advertised. It just kind of didn't leave an impression.
The book's concept is good in theory, but it just didn't pan out. So, I don't recommend this to anyone.
April 11, 2018
This was quite possibly one of the funniest books I’ve ever listened to!!! The story in itself was really funny, and the narrator took it to the next level. Absolutely loved it and would definitely read more from this author!
June 2, 2020
A free selection from Audible, and I found it to be so. much. fun. I would love to read more about Andrea and C.U.P. and I need to know what will happen with The Big Axe. This was right up my humor alley.
July 3, 2020
Good Fun Superhero Satire
Review of the Audible Original audiobook edition (August 2017)
This was a silly good fun satire of the superhero business and a situation comedy about office politics. It takes place in a world where various businesses offer superheroes for hire in regional zones and who are then rivals for corporate contracts. The lead character Andrea Vernon is an administrative assistant who is brought into the title group The Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (CUP for short) working for the chief operating officer Ms. O. The stable of superheroes include characters such as The Big Ax, King Tiger, Lightning Wong, Kitchen Sink, Senor Fuego and Rabbi Diamond. The main villian (or the "William" in the office lingo of CUP) is an alien invasion force which gradually reveals itself.
Overall it is pretty silly, but it was enormously entertaining due to the good fun of the script and the exceptional performance of narrator Bahni Turpin who handled several dozen different voices throughout the work.
Andrea Vernon and the Corporate for UltraHuman Protection was originally released in August 2017 and was also one of the ten free Audible Original audiobooks available for members in May 2020. It is available to everyone for a standard price. It is followed by a sequel called Andrea Vernon and the Superhero-Industrial Complex (April 2019).
Review of the Audible Original audiobook edition (August 2017)
This was a silly good fun satire of the superhero business and a situation comedy about office politics. It takes place in a world where various businesses offer superheroes for hire in regional zones and who are then rivals for corporate contracts. The lead character Andrea Vernon is an administrative assistant who is brought into the title group The Corporation for UltraHuman Protection (CUP for short) working for the chief operating officer Ms. O. The stable of superheroes include characters such as The Big Ax, King Tiger, Lightning Wong, Kitchen Sink, Senor Fuego and Rabbi Diamond. The main villian (or the "William" in the office lingo of CUP) is an alien invasion force which gradually reveals itself.
Overall it is pretty silly, but it was enormously entertaining due to the good fun of the script and the exceptional performance of narrator Bahni Turpin who handled several dozen different voices throughout the work.
Andrea Vernon and the Corporate for UltraHuman Protection was originally released in August 2017 and was also one of the ten free Audible Original audiobooks available for members in May 2020. It is available to everyone for a standard price. It is followed by a sequel called Andrea Vernon and the Superhero-Industrial Complex (April 2019).
July 7, 2020
This is poorly written. I'm guessing it's self-published. The tone is flat, the characters lack personality, the setup rushed. There was nothing to care about in the first few chapters of the book. Good writing inspires you to care about the people involved and makes you wonder "what's next?" This book does not accomplish that early on and lost my interest. And this isn't the first book I've read with the conceit "superheros are a mundane part of everyday society," so novelty wasn't enough to get me to soldier on through it. I felt I was reading a description of a book, not the book itself. The voice was simply too detached and didn't make internal sense. I felt the author was making fun of his own characters. It wasn't a good read.
June 7, 2020
Unfortunately because I had to rate this book so low, this is one of the few ratings that I've done which I will take the time to explain. Like my friend PJ above, the family member that shares my prime account (and thus my library) said that she could not get past the first 30 minutes of the book. I doggedly hung on to the very end hoping that the book would get better, it did not.
First off let me explain that there are a couple of good points to the book. The narrator is simply amazing with a wide vocal cast and the ability to differentiate each character even if they are all in an argument. Additionally the writing itself is not poor, the level of detail and "realism" in regard to the world / setting are immersive and sensory.
Where the book fails however is it's lack-luster attempt to be different. The book itself is based on 2 major premises that have had some success in the SciFi / Fantasy Genre (Minor Spoilers):
1. The monetization / professional Team formation of superheroes, which if you change superpowers to magic and team to guild, effectively covers the fantasy side as well
2. A normal person abruptly thrust into the above normal world who has to find their place in it.
Since these concepts are not new, the book must stand out in some fashion that makes it remarkable in its own right. This can be done through character development, drama, comedy, or a host of other vehicles. Unfortunately with this book it fails at each one that it tries to use. All characters save the main one are flat and underdeveloped.
Additionally the main one is barely engaging, her self deprecating internal monologues are trivial and seem petty rather than relatable. Her social awkwardness seems more like verbal diarrhea, and her family struggles are so cliche (overinflated stereotypes of siblings and parents) that the character is far from relatable or engaging. The supporting cast of "superheroes" are literally poor puns on expected stereotypes as well. What little passes for drama is either resolved too quickly to be drama, or so trivial and one-sided that it is more annoying than dramatic.
The worst failing of all however is the attempt at humor. Admittedly I found myself smiling at a few things and counted two actual laughs. Unfortunately however the majority of the book was like watching a struggling comedian at open mic night who shouts "Huh Huh?" and gesticulates wildly after every punchline trying to prompt the audience to "get it" while failing to realize that the audience is silent because they DID "get it" but didn't find it at all laugh-worthy.
The majority of the book reads like one of those mandatory corporate culture seminars / exercises that you pretend to laugh at for the sake of keeping your boss happy, all the while wishing it would just be over already so that you could move on to something, anything else.
First off let me explain that there are a couple of good points to the book. The narrator is simply amazing with a wide vocal cast and the ability to differentiate each character even if they are all in an argument. Additionally the writing itself is not poor, the level of detail and "realism" in regard to the world / setting are immersive and sensory.
Where the book fails however is it's lack-luster attempt to be different. The book itself is based on 2 major premises that have had some success in the SciFi / Fantasy Genre (Minor Spoilers):
1. The monetization / professional Team formation of superheroes, which if you change superpowers to magic and team to guild, effectively covers the fantasy side as well
2. A normal person abruptly thrust into the above normal world who has to find their place in it.
Since these concepts are not new, the book must stand out in some fashion that makes it remarkable in its own right. This can be done through character development, drama, comedy, or a host of other vehicles. Unfortunately with this book it fails at each one that it tries to use. All characters save the main one are flat and underdeveloped.
Additionally the main one is barely engaging, her self deprecating internal monologues are trivial and seem petty rather than relatable. Her social awkwardness seems more like verbal diarrhea, and her family struggles are so cliche (overinflated stereotypes of siblings and parents) that the character is far from relatable or engaging. The supporting cast of "superheroes" are literally poor puns on expected stereotypes as well. What little passes for drama is either resolved too quickly to be drama, or so trivial and one-sided that it is more annoying than dramatic.
The worst failing of all however is the attempt at humor. Admittedly I found myself smiling at a few things and counted two actual laughs. Unfortunately however the majority of the book was like watching a struggling comedian at open mic night who shouts "Huh Huh?" and gesticulates wildly after every punchline trying to prompt the audience to "get it" while failing to realize that the audience is silent because they DID "get it" but didn't find it at all laugh-worthy.
The majority of the book reads like one of those mandatory corporate culture seminars / exercises that you pretend to laugh at for the sake of keeping your boss happy, all the while wishing it would just be over already so that you could move on to something, anything else.
August 30, 2020
I never could tell if I was enjoying the audiobook or just listening because it was something to listen to while I did other stuff. Part of me thinks it was a clever story, but part of me also got annoyed by the “humor”. It’s a very sarcastic, very “punny” kind of humor throughout the entire book. I don’t think I laughed or even smiled a single time while listening. I just don’t think it was my kind of humor.
The story itself was okay but not great. It was predictable as most hero stories are. The description of the alien machines was reminiscent of H. G. Wells” War of the Worlds aliens, so not very original. The romantic fling between The Big Ax and Andrea was lackluster, if that. All of the characters were one dimensional to me. There never seemed to be any character growth or development. I guess one might argue that Andrea has a character arch, but it’s a very small one; blink and you might miss it.
Looking back, I’m not really sure why I chose this Audible Original. There must not have been a lot of options that month. And as I’ve written this, I guess I disliked it more than I originally thought. I think I kept expecting everything to get better, but it never really did. It just fell flat for me.
The story itself was okay but not great. It was predictable as most hero stories are. The description of the alien machines was reminiscent of H. G. Wells” War of the Worlds aliens, so not very original. The romantic fling between The Big Ax and Andrea was lackluster, if that. All of the characters were one dimensional to me. There never seemed to be any character growth or development. I guess one might argue that Andrea has a character arch, but it’s a very small one; blink and you might miss it.
Looking back, I’m not really sure why I chose this Audible Original. There must not have been a lot of options that month. And as I’ve written this, I guess I disliked it more than I originally thought. I think I kept expecting everything to get better, but it never really did. It just fell flat for me.
February 27, 2023
Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection is a highly entertaining book! I loved the wordplay, the characters, and the story itself. The humor was spot-on!
Bahni Turpin was a fabulous narrator who truly made the story come alive.
I highly recommend it.
Bahni Turpin was a fabulous narrator who truly made the story come alive.
I highly recommend it.
October 4, 2018
So much fun right from the beginning. Lots of punny moments, vibrant characters, and engaging prose. I love that it feels like our world 'now', while it's obviously not. From an audiobook perspective, Bahni Turpin nailed it!
December 17, 2020
I just couldn't get into this story. The narrator was talented, but that wasn't enough to save the story. It seemed the whole thing was based on a bunch of jokes and I really didn't find them funny.
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