The Bitchy Waiter: Tales, Tips & Trials from a Life in Food Service

by Darron Cardosa

Hilarious tales from the trenches of food service from the popular blog—perfect for fans of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck and Mo Rocca.For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa (a.k.a. The Bitchy Waiter) has your back. Based on his popular blog, this riotous book is full of waitstaff horror stories—plus heartwarming tales—from three decades in the industry. Cardosa knows you want your beer cold (“You want a cold beer? Thank you for clarifying so I didn’t bring you the one that just came out of the oven”). And while he may hate children (“I know the kid at Table Eight is trouble the moment he rolls into the restaurant in his fancy stroller”), he will at least consider owning up to his “Do I take the steak from the floor, citing the “three-second rule,” and put it in the to-go box and carry it back to the woman?” From crazy customers to out-of-control egos, these acerbic tales offer a hilarious glimpse into what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—and inside the mind of a server.Praise for The Bitchy Waiter“Cardosa does for wait staff what Anthony Bourdain did for he exposes the ugly side of food service from the perspective of those working on the front lines. And he puts the potential restaurant customer on notice that someone is watching and recording their bad behavior.” —Shelf Awareness

Genres: Humor

234 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 5, 2016

Reviews

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have the utmost respect and admiration of those that work as servers (or retail) in any capacity because I would lose my mind. His stories are mostly good. Some of them are funny and a few were even touching. All in all, I’d place this at about 3.25 stars!

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cardosa is an interesting character. This is a collection of some new material and others that have appeared on his blog. A fun, light read.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve ever waited tables, this book will make you nod your head, laugh out loud AND cringe as you think about how many crumbled crackers and Cheerios you’ve cleaned off the floor after a horrid toddler sat in your station.

[Annie Uli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny book

I really enjoyed the book. Being a waitress myself, it was a fun read. I skipped the chapter on Jesus, felt it was a little blasphemous. I loved what he wrote above his grandmother. Yes, we all need to make those phone calls and visits while we still have them in our lives.

[Patricia Tuck · Rating 1 out of 5]

Poor writing, old material, don't bother

I was looking forward to a humorous book. I've read several by restaurant owners, chefs, wait staff. This is not worth even glancing at.
Tired jokes, crude, poor writing, and on and on.

[UT booklady · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have followed The Bitchy Waiter’s blog for years. I’ve never waited tables but you don’t have to, to know who he is and what he writes about. On the contrary, I think those of us who haven’t had a serving job would benefit from his blog, if they read with an open mind. I learned a thing or 7 about how to be a good customer from reading his blog.

When his book first came out, I was excited. It was only available in print form which I don’t often read so I was bummed and passed on picking it up. Fast forward several years later and I just happened to click on a link in one of his blog posts and saw his book was now available in e-format. Yup, bought it right away.

I’ll be honest. I’m rating this one at 3.5 stars. It took me far longer to read than I expected, simply because the book wasn’t holding my attention as much as I hoped. I’d read 15-20 pages and then put it down. Don’t get me wrong, the book was good, BUT… it was just missing something. Took me awhile to realize what that “something” was.

For me, the reason I have followed TBW all these years is because of his rough around the edges raunchiness and unapologetic use of bitching, moaning and profanity in his blog posts. He is a total bitch in his blog and I freaking love that about him, he’s awesome! I laugh my ass off all the time reading his blog. I highly recommend all to check out his blog and Facebook pages.

Sadly, this book was just a bit too “polished.” As I read, I could tell an editor got their hands on it and tamed it down. There weren’t nearly as many swear words as is typical of his blog, which hello… is the best part of it, because of HOW he swears. His usual over-the-top bitchiness wasn’t quite as bitchy. Added to that, most of the book is a collection of “blog style posts” put together with a few new lists and anecdotes weaved in throughout. A few of his stories I even recognized as posts from his blog… I had read them before. There were also no “a comment on comments” in this book. Major bummer ☹️.

Did I laugh as much as I usually do like when I read his blog? Nope. Was it still a good book? Yup. Do I recommend you read it? Of course! Just keep in mind some of it you may have already read on his blog and his typical level of raunchy has been smoothed down around the edges.

I hope Darron writes another book though, and also serves his fans a side of ranch with his full unapologetic attitude and personality.

[David Farrar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humor and insights

In “The Bitchy Waiter,” I stumbled upon a delightful and humorously honest exploration of the trials and tribulations faced by people in the service industry. As someone with a background in psychology, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the author’s witty take on the emotional rollercoaster that comes with being a waiter.

This book masterfully weaves humor into the fabric of everyday challenges, reminding us that a good laugh can be the best way to cope with stress. It’s not just an eye-opener; it’s a gut-buster. “The Bitchy Waiter” serves up a generous portion of empathy and wit, reminding us all to be kinder to the unsung heroes who serve our meals.

In conclusion, I wholeheartedly recommend “The Bitchy Waiter” for its blend of humor and insight. It’s a reminder that sometimes, a hearty laugh can be the best remedy for understanding the quirks of human behavior, both as customers and as professionals.

[Sheila ElGammal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Will recommend

I love the Bitchy Waiter and have for years. I am 34 and have waited tables since 16. I honestly think I must have been smiling for 85% of this read. (Obviously, some pieces were more on the side of emotional) Thanks, Darron! Keep up the great work!

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend

I Loved this book. As a former waitress myself I could relate to a lot that was said in this book. It was very funny and the author was detailed in bis stories but kept things interesting.

[Kim Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great hospitality read!!

I absolutely love this book!! I bought it through my kindle. If you're looking for a light hearted, funny, ALL server details in our daily lives, this won't disappoint. #hospitalityindustry #hospitalitystrong #serverlife #servernightmaresarereal

[Barbara bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been a “waitress “ in many different kinds of food establishments. I sure could relate to many situations in this book. The writer is very imaginative, witty, and very,
very funny. I just loved reading about working his working life.
I highly recommend this entertaining book.

[Nefertari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic, and applicable to all customer service jobs!

[Grier · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe too bitchy

[✨Gretch✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good coffee table book, full of short funny stories

[Rosa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although by no means a work of art, It was a good, entertaining book that made me laugh a few times.

[MaCayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for every server! All too relatable and a great laugh as well as reality check in what makes a servers job so rewarding, which is something we often forget. Definitely worth reading!

[tayler brewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this!

Totally relatable if you work in the industry and are looking for a good laugh this book is so great!

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a server to was so fun to read

[Josie Figueroa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

A wonderful insight.into the world of food service. I will forever look at waiters and waitresses with a new found respect and always tip over 20%

[Joetta · Rating 5 out of 5]

FUNNY BUT TRUE

I have been a server, bartender and a cook and the book says everything I have thought and more but with a fun and snarky attitude. Loved it.

[Alisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’d put this at 3.5 stars. A solid book overall, featuring compelling stories with great comedic sensibility. Some of the tales felt a bit harder to get into, and somewhat repetitive toward the end of the book (for that reason I’d actually say 4 stars for the first half—or maybe 3/4s—of the book, and 3 stars to the remainder). But as a whole, the author’s writing style is very engaging, and it really did feel personable and personal.

Owing to the compilation-like nature of the book (I believe it’s literally a compilation of his blog post), it can be read in a single go, or digested in little pieces over time. I started out doing the former, and halfway through began to lean toward the latter... not only is the book’s structure ideal for this, but so is the topic. It’s galling to read some of the ways in which people lack common sense and decency when at a restaurant. I could only take so much of the stories—even when presented as comedy—before feeling jaded. I want to give Darron (the author) a big hug and a high five for revealing the challenges of working in the service industry, as well as highlighting the life lessons and levity that can be found.

[Jennifer]

An amazing number of people have carried your drinks and food to your table, but if you haven't been one of the "wait-force", you probably need to read Cardosa's book. Delightfully snarky with guys of sweetness, the stories will both entertain and instruct.