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Catholic Guide to Loneliness
Banish loneliness today – the Catholic way! Here’s a comprehensive guide to loneliness that affords Catholics the deepest possible answers to the growing problem of loneliness in our fragmented, technological modern society.
Rooted in ancient philosophical and Biblical wisdom, and buttressed by modern theory and research, these pages bring you to an understanding of the root causes of loneliness and teach you the remedies – secular and religious – that are most apt to cure this ever more prevalent problem.
You’ll also come to see how to harness loneliness for the service of God and neighbor, and how to bear with grace any residual loneliness you can’t manage to defeat.
Open these wise pages to
Here are scores of lessons about loneliness from ancient solitary monks, modern psychologists, saints like Thomas More and Thomas Aquinas, and Christ Himself – lessons that are guaranteed to uproot forever the weeds of loneliness that are choking out the fruitful life God wants you to have.
Rooted in ancient philosophical and Biblical wisdom, and buttressed by modern theory and research, these pages bring you to an understanding of the root causes of loneliness and teach you the remedies – secular and religious – that are most apt to cure this ever more prevalent problem.
You’ll also come to see how to harness loneliness for the service of God and neighbor, and how to bear with grace any residual loneliness you can’t manage to defeat.
Open these wise pages to
Here are scores of lessons about loneliness from ancient solitary monks, modern psychologists, saints like Thomas More and Thomas Aquinas, and Christ Himself – lessons that are guaranteed to uproot forever the weeds of loneliness that are choking out the fruitful life God wants you to have.
141 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 30, 2017
33 people are currently reading
68 people want to read
About the author
Kevin Vost
29 books53 followersKevin Vost, Psy. D. (b. 1961) has taught psychology at the University of Illinois at Springfield, Lincoln Land Community College, and MacMurray College. He is a Research Review Committee Member for American Mensa, which promotes the scientific study of human intelligence.
He enjoys reading the Classics (especially Aristotle and the Stoics) and St. Thomas Aquinas in his spare time.
He enjoys reading the Classics (especially Aristotle and the Stoics) and St. Thomas Aquinas in his spare time.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
October 29, 2017
The author tries really hard to blame loneliness on the advent of modern technology (social media, smartphones, television, etc...). Not all lonely people are addicted to facebook. There are many lonely individuals today who use very little technology (isolated retirees, etc...). If loneliness was really caused by modern technology, we would find almost no literature on the topic of loneliness until the last 20 years, but it has been a persistent problem for quite some time. I did not find this book to be particularly useful on the topic of loneliness, but it is an easy read and has some encouraging quotes from saints (especially St. Thomas Moore of London) and a reflection on Christ's 7 last words from the cross.
December 18, 2017
I have read many books by Dr. Vost over the years. They have all been excellent reads. But after finishing this book I have an ever greater respect for the man, and the author. I have known so many people in my life who have suffered from loneliness, some were aware of it, and some not. This is a book I wish I had access to 30 years ago when a friend committed suicide. I do not think the book in and of itself is the answer but it can be a tool for the person themselves, or friends and family to help understand and support those who suffer from loneliness. This book is a tool that should be in every parish office!
The dedication of this book is as follows:
"To all who are lonely and all who reach out
to lighten the load of their neighbor's loneliness"
Before we even get to the table of contents Kevin is speaking to the hearts that are hurting, and to those who are trying to help and support. The specific chapters in this book are:
1. Rethinking and Relieving Loneliness
2. The Virtues of Loneliness
3. The Solace of Solitude
4. He Came to Call Us Friends
5. The Loneliness of Christ
6. Lightening the Burden of Our Neighbor's Loneliness
Conclusion: With You Always
Chapter one of this book Rethinking and Relieving Loneliness begins with this quote from 1st Corinthians 13:11; 14:20
"When I was a child, I spoke like a child. I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. . . . Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; be babes in evil, but in thinking be mature."
And then the first paragraph of that first chapter is:
"Loneliness is a product of our God-given human capacity to think and reflect about things. It is defined as a "perceived social isolation." Note the importance of the word perceived. We feel lonely when we think there is a discrepancy between the social connectedness we would like to have and that which we do have. This is not to say that loneliness is "all in one's head," something to be dismissed or ignored, since the lonely person's perception of a serious lack in social connection may be very accurate indeed. A quarter of the adults queried in a 2004 study reported that they had no one to confide in about serious matters. So, if you or I are feeling lonely, this may in no way imply that we are engaging in the kind of childish thinking that St. Paul has warned about. There may be many valid reasons for us to feel lonely, but what may be childish, or at least inaccurate, distressing, and self-defeating, in our thinking is how we proceed to think about the fact of our loneliness."
The example that follows about a perceived slight is an incredible insight. The breaking of the old stimulus/response paradigm to a newer more stoic model of stimulus (actual event), us (our beliefs about that event), and response (the consequences or emotional behavioural response). One of the key focuses of the second chapter is a striving for balance based on the belief that we have been created for both earthly and eternal happiness. And that this is done through deliberately striving to develop
Each section of the book contains an Action Plan, that plan is broken down into five sections:
Read:
Reflect:
Remember:
Recite:
Reconnect:
I found that these sections were amazing. I plan on printing them out and rereading through them from time to time just as a reminder to start working on these areas again and again. And then before the next chapter there is sort of a mini essay, basically a summary of that chapter in a one page synopsis. The one at the end of chapter four titled 'Have We Crafted a "Culture of Loneliness"?' was especially insightful. Some of the statistical comparisons between 1985 and 2004 on people we confide in is staggering. I was blown away by the numbers. And what that says about society today.
This at times was not an easy book to read. But it was a much needed read by me personally. And I am sure there and many out there who will benefit from the wisdom contained within these pages. Dr. Vost has written a book that can be used to help oneself, but also and maybe more importantly a tool we can use to help each other. This is another incredible read by a gifted author and I highly recommend it.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Dr. Kevin Vost. As well as an author profile and interview with Dr. Vost.
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2017 Catholic Reading Plan!
The dedication of this book is as follows:
"To all who are lonely and all who reach out
to lighten the load of their neighbor's loneliness"
Before we even get to the table of contents Kevin is speaking to the hearts that are hurting, and to those who are trying to help and support. The specific chapters in this book are:
1. Rethinking and Relieving Loneliness
2. The Virtues of Loneliness
3. The Solace of Solitude
4. He Came to Call Us Friends
5. The Loneliness of Christ
6. Lightening the Burden of Our Neighbor's Loneliness
Conclusion: With You Always
Chapter one of this book Rethinking and Relieving Loneliness begins with this quote from 1st Corinthians 13:11; 14:20
"When I was a child, I spoke like a child. I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. . . . Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; be babes in evil, but in thinking be mature."
And then the first paragraph of that first chapter is:
"Loneliness is a product of our God-given human capacity to think and reflect about things. It is defined as a "perceived social isolation." Note the importance of the word perceived. We feel lonely when we think there is a discrepancy between the social connectedness we would like to have and that which we do have. This is not to say that loneliness is "all in one's head," something to be dismissed or ignored, since the lonely person's perception of a serious lack in social connection may be very accurate indeed. A quarter of the adults queried in a 2004 study reported that they had no one to confide in about serious matters. So, if you or I are feeling lonely, this may in no way imply that we are engaging in the kind of childish thinking that St. Paul has warned about. There may be many valid reasons for us to feel lonely, but what may be childish, or at least inaccurate, distressing, and self-defeating, in our thinking is how we proceed to think about the fact of our loneliness."
The example that follows about a perceived slight is an incredible insight. The breaking of the old stimulus/response paradigm to a newer more stoic model of stimulus (actual event), us (our beliefs about that event), and response (the consequences or emotional behavioural response). One of the key focuses of the second chapter is a striving for balance based on the belief that we have been created for both earthly and eternal happiness. And that this is done through deliberately striving to develop
Each section of the book contains an Action Plan, that plan is broken down into five sections:
Read:
Reflect:
Remember:
Recite:
Reconnect:
I found that these sections were amazing. I plan on printing them out and rereading through them from time to time just as a reminder to start working on these areas again and again. And then before the next chapter there is sort of a mini essay, basically a summary of that chapter in a one page synopsis. The one at the end of chapter four titled 'Have We Crafted a "Culture of Loneliness"?' was especially insightful. Some of the statistical comparisons between 1985 and 2004 on people we confide in is staggering. I was blown away by the numbers. And what that says about society today.
This at times was not an easy book to read. But it was a much needed read by me personally. And I am sure there and many out there who will benefit from the wisdom contained within these pages. Dr. Vost has written a book that can be used to help oneself, but also and maybe more importantly a tool we can use to help each other. This is another incredible read by a gifted author and I highly recommend it.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Dr. Kevin Vost. As well as an author profile and interview with Dr. Vost.
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2017 Catholic Reading Plan!
March 5, 2018
Well I gave this book a fair shot. I did not finish reading it and turned it into a used book store. I just could not get into the flow of it. Seemed to have no rhythm. Some interesting info. It just was not my cup of tea.
April 11, 2019
Read this book as part of our catholic book club and it was a good read and generated lots of discussion which in part made in worthwhile.
April 13, 2019
Dr. Vost does a great job of presenting the scientific, philosophical, psychological and spiritual causes, effects, and remedies to loneliness.
August 31, 2025
Really great book that balanced science and faith insights to loneliness.
November 3, 2017
Catholic guide to loneliness
I liked this book because it was an interesting read that brought up good points that made me think. It also more me aware of the loneliness Christ suffered through His Passion and Crucifixion that I never even thought of.
I liked this book because it was an interesting read that brought up good points that made me think. It also more me aware of the loneliness Christ suffered through His Passion and Crucifixion that I never even thought of.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews