For Better For Worse: Should I Get Married?

by Neel Burton

For Better For Worse examines the institution of marriage in history and contemporary culture, along with kin concepts such as romantic love, sexuality, and family. Drawing upon several fields of inquiry, it sets out as neither pro- nor anti-marriage, but seeks instead to investigate an institution that has long been at the centre of society, and that we tend to take for granted despite its defining impact on almost all aspects of our lives. Whether or not to tie, untie, or retie the knot is a question that we each have to answer for ourselves, and this book aims no higher than to frame and inform our deliberation.

Contents:

1. Monogamy
2. Polygamy
3. Gender fluidity in the gods
4. Gender variation and same-sex relations in precolonial peoples
5. Marriage in Ancient Egypt
6. Three tales of same-sex love in Ancient Egypt
7. The history and psychology of the orgy
8. Marriage in the Bible
9. Love in the Bible
10. Same-sex relations in the Bible
11. An interpretation of Adam and Eve
12. Sex, sexuality, and duplicity in Ancient Rome
13. How love became the new religion
14. The psychology of romantic love
15. The history of kissing
16. Who was Valentine?
17. The 7 types of love
18. Polyamory: a new way of loving?
19. The philosophy of lust
20. The magic of masturbation
21. Touch hunger
22. The pain of loneliness/the joy of solitude
23. The ascetic alternative
24. Are married people healthier?
25. The deep psychology of the bachelor party
26. Should we have a big wedding?
27. The challenges of intimacy
28. The philosophy of trust
29. The philosophy of forgiveness
30. The rise and demise of divorce
31. The future of the family
32. Should we have children?
33. The gay revolution
34. A feminist critique of marriage

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

220 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 2017

About the author

Dr Neel Burton is a psychiatrist, philosopher, and wine-lover who lives and teaches in Oxford, England. He is a Fellow of Green-Templeton College in the University of Oxford, and the winner of several book prizes including, the feather in his cap, a Best in the World Gourmand Award. His work features regularly in the likes of Aeon and Psychology Today and has been translated into several languages. When he is not reading or writing, or imbibing, he enjoys cooking, gardening, skiing, learning languages, visiting museums and gardens, and travelling, especially to wine regions.

His books include:

- The Meaning of Myth (Ancient Wisdom 1)
- Stoic Stories (Ancient Wisdom 2)
- The Gang of Three: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle (Ancient Wisdom 3)
- The Meaning of Madness (Ataraxia 1)
- Hide and Seek: The Psychology of Self-Deception (Ataraxia 2)
- Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions (Ataraxia 3)

www.neelburton.com

Reviews

[Shawn]

There is nothing here other than some curated statistics, quotations and definitons. Technically a Home Depot has all of the things needed to build a home, but calling it a home is preposterous.

[Robin Morgan]

What woman doesn’t love to read a teary-eyed, heartstring pulling, HEA romance story? This is especially true, where either one or both protagonists already have baggage from a previous relationship that went sour for whatever the reason might have been, and all they want now is to find that special someone to make it happen this second time around. But, no matter how wonderful is seems to be, the reality is far, far more complex than the will you and the I do which is read in these stories.

In this book, readers become the proverbial fly on the wall while the author, Neel Burton, takes them on a historical, sociological and philosophical tour which is commonly know as the institution of marriage.

For those of you who are already married it might give a clue as to your wondering why you ever got married; and for those of you are still single this book should shed some light and help to decide one of the most, if not the most important decision you’ll ever have to make in your life. Just read the quote the author uses for the description for this book:

“Whether or not to marry is a choice that is as mystifying as it is momentous. This book is a treasure trove of historical analysis, divergent perspectives, and vital considerations that will help you decide whether, when, how, and with whom to make the leap.
--John Amodeo, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships.”

There’s no need for me to rehash what the intention of this book is, or dwell into the areas connected to marriage that the book covers, because the author has already a decent done job in doing it in his description.

For wanting his readers to have a HEA in real life instead of a fictional one, I’ve given Mr. Burton 5 STARS.

[Argum]

Interesting assortment of marital topics

I won a free copy of this book in goodreads first reads.

Interesting array of topics covered if a little haphazard in arrangement. Covers historical and statistical approaches as well as more psycho social means.

[Wanda]

Lots of Information....and Opinion

There is lots of good information in this book, but also a lot of opinions held by the author. About half way through the book I tired of his opinions. As the author, I suppose that's his right, but it's not why I read a book. I felt that the author went into too much detail in some chapters and not enough in others. I was expecting less of the history of the subject and more of the practical, current philosophies. That's not what you get here. The author has definitely done his research, but to me, this read more like a textbook than modern essays. I would only recommend this book if you're researching the subjects.

[Katherine]

I couldn't go to sleep until I finished this, and the next thing I knew the sun was leaking over the hill! Burton's work is always so well-researched and includes cultural traditions on which I have never been previously educated. I'll be honest: there were plenty of things about this book that made me very sad for humanity, but that doesn't stop me from being glad to have read it.

[Jayanne Rahal]

A super interesting read! Well researched, well referenced, offering many different vantage points to a tradition that is otherwise so ingrained into our lives. I thoroughly enjoyed absorbing every page and leave it on my shelf with a more lucid view on the culture of marriage.

[Stuart Hargreaves]

A very interesting read, this book covers every aspects of marriage from Adam & Eve, through the ages as well as modern day philosophy of marriage and how attitudes have changed.

[Amy Ingalls]

I won this book in a giveaway. I have a degree in psychology with a sociology minor and this felt a lot like my sociology textbooks. Each chapter functioned as a stand-alone on a topic that the author thought worthy of covering about the history of marriage. Some of the chapters were very interesting but there were a few that I had to slog through. The book focused so much on the history of marriage throughout mankind, but I wish the author had gone a little more in depth on marriage in modern times.

[Samantha]

Received in a Giveaway

I received a copy of this book through the Goodreads giveaway program. I honestly was not impressed. I found this book boring. It was hard to pay attention to it.

[Michael]

Great and enjoyable book to read

[Melissa]

Good collection of writings.

[Brenda L Brandon]

Lots of interesting essays..

[Darrell Johnson]

I didn't really like this title

[Huong]

A lot of things about relationships make sense with this book. I highlighted the most satisfying ideas.

[Laura Hanke]

Great little book. Am going to buy another, this time in paperback so that I can lend it out.

[Lan-Vy]

Didn’t learn anything new out of this book.