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Savaged by Systemd: an Erotic Unix Encounter
Not your normal Friday night in the computer room.
Not a normal night anywhere.
Terry is the archetypal old-school Unix admin, nurturing servers with care and precision while avoiding the latest trendy garbage. KDE and Gnome on a server? Nope, if you need a GUI use FVWM.
The latest trend Terry refuses? One adopted almost everywhere? Systemd, the replacement init.
So Systemd comes for Terry.
Wearing skin-tight leather pants.
No, not a normal night in the computer room at all…
Not a normal night anywhere.
Terry is the archetypal old-school Unix admin, nurturing servers with care and precision while avoiding the latest trendy garbage. KDE and Gnome on a server? Nope, if you need a GUI use FVWM.
The latest trend Terry refuses? One adopted almost everywhere? Systemd, the replacement init.
So Systemd comes for Terry.
Wearing skin-tight leather pants.
No, not a normal night in the computer room at all…
44 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 5, 2017
31 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
September 16, 2017
(I did not read the Kindle edition; I read another ebook edition, but Goodreads will not let me accurately identify it.)
This (novella?) story is, first off, deeply weird. Secondly, it will be wholly nonsensical to people who are not somewhat familiar with both software developer and sysadmin jargon. Third, it could be deeply offensive to some people. Fourth, the protagonist is a dirty hippie GPL-lover (at least at the beginning), which might be off-putting to some.
It is hilarious, imaginative, and a bit frightening. It's described as "erotic" and sometimes listed under "romance" (though it's not the least bit romantic), but really it's a masterful piece of particularly icky satirical erotic horror with a "happy" ending that is not, really, the least bit happy. The protagonist makes the tough choice at the end, choosing good over evil, which left me with a smile on my face.
It is, overall, indescribable. Oh, sure, I could offer a lot of colorful description for this piece of weird literature, but I'd probably have to expend at least 50% of the story's wordcount to approach a description that truly captures the essence of it (at which point I would have just rewritten it badly).
I don't know whether I can, in good conscience, recommend it. I do know, however, that it warrants five stars on Goodreads.
This (novella?) story is, first off, deeply weird. Secondly, it will be wholly nonsensical to people who are not somewhat familiar with both software developer and sysadmin jargon. Third, it could be deeply offensive to some people. Fourth, the protagonist is a dirty hippie GPL-lover (at least at the beginning), which might be off-putting to some.
It is hilarious, imaginative, and a bit frightening. It's described as "erotic" and sometimes listed under "romance" (though it's not the least bit romantic), but really it's a masterful piece of particularly icky satirical erotic horror with a "happy" ending that is not, really, the least bit happy. The protagonist makes the tough choice at the end, choosing good over evil, which left me with a smile on my face.
It is, overall, indescribable. Oh, sure, I could offer a lot of colorful description for this piece of weird literature, but I'd probably have to expend at least 50% of the story's wordcount to approach a description that truly captures the essence of it (at which point I would have just rewritten it badly).
I don't know whether I can, in good conscience, recommend it. I do know, however, that it warrants five stars on Goodreads.
September 10, 2017
Better than 50 shades of grey
September 8, 2017
Intimate look at the seductiveness of systemd
In the Unix tradition of "unzip, touch, finger, mount, fsck, eject, umount" porn, the author entertains the seductive forwardness of systemd in contrast to the sterile, proven, trusted, and lonely world of Linux system administration. Sure, the review/rant about systemd could probably fit in a one page white paper, or perhaps a short threaded tweetstorm, but then we would have missed out on all the fun!
If you're a Linux sys admin or play one on TV buy and read this book.
In the Unix tradition of "unzip, touch, finger, mount, fsck, eject, umount" porn, the author entertains the seductive forwardness of systemd in contrast to the sterile, proven, trusted, and lonely world of Linux system administration. Sure, the review/rant about systemd could probably fit in a one page white paper, or perhaps a short threaded tweetstorm, but then we would have missed out on all the fun!
If you're a Linux sys admin or play one on TV buy and read this book.
April 30, 2019
I bought this as a prank gift to a friend, it's absolutely hilarious.
September 14, 2017
Well, that was weird. It's not every day you read a story of having sex with a piece of software.
The plot is porn-thin: systemd visits lonely sysadmin, they have sex, and a bit of a twist at the end. All in good fun, with a number of funny passages.
What's remarkable is the way Lucas fails to tell us the sex of either protagonist, even in the sex scenes.
Great literature it ain't, but if you're a Linux admin looking for a quick fun read, you could do worse.
The plot is porn-thin: systemd visits lonely sysadmin, they have sex, and a bit of a twist at the end. All in good fun, with a number of funny passages.
What's remarkable is the way Lucas fails to tell us the sex of either protagonist, even in the sex scenes.
Great literature it ain't, but if you're a Linux admin looking for a quick fun read, you could do worse.
September 8, 2017
The author is a strange, strange person for having written a short story about an init system (few would even know what that is) coming alive in the form of a voluptuous woman clad in skintight leather and seducing a nerdy systems administrator into having passionate sex with her... in a server room.
There are some hilarious lines in it, if you are in the know, like the bit about twiddling the stack. Otherwise, this story will make no sense to you.
I must congratulate Lucas for knowing his audience and writing to it. Write what you know, right?
There are some hilarious lines in it, if you are in the know, like the bit about twiddling the stack. Otherwise, this story will make no sense to you.
I must congratulate Lucas for knowing his audience and writing to it. Write what you know, right?
September 6, 2017
The summary sort of gives it away but the wording and imagery go beyond that first impression. Could not stop myself laughing loud many times. Well done!
December 31, 2017
This is definitely not for everyone. The whole book is an inside joke on the world of Linux-based operating systems, therefore it requires that the reader has a background in system administration or software development.
If you know what systemd is, then this book is hilarious. I caught myself laughing out loud quite a few times while reading it. Go ahead, read it. It'll be a fun afternoon.
If you know what systemd is, then this book is hilarious. I caught myself laughing out loud quite a few times while reading it. Go ahead, read it. It'll be a fun afternoon.
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September 26, 2017This is definitely the weirdest story I've read this year.
July 7, 2024
Much like working with any init system, once you've finished reading this there's no where to go except right back to the beginning. Until recently, that is! SystemD has a partial reboot feature now. Imagine what it would be like if SytemD could restart not just bits and pieces of the system at will, but of the entire stack... It could change the entire way you interact with it; starting again but skipping all of the lead up and just getting right back into the... thick of serving up... control!
I think @mwl could work up a sequel from all the new features in SystemD. But, do we actually want him to? Could we survive it with our minds intact?
I think @mwl could work up a sequel from all the new features in SystemD. But, do we actually want him to? Could we survive it with our minds intact?
October 10, 2023
Easily the best Linux init system erotica I've read this year. The kink was too specific for general audiences (so much focus on stacks and and no mention of heap). But the ending presented a powerful moral choice. I was on the edge of my seat for the whole thing.
September 11, 2017
An unexpected take on Systemd :-) NSFW, obviously, but still raises some valid questions about the project's architecture and design decisions.
PS. The intercourse scene is top-notch.
PS. The intercourse scene is top-notch.
September 24, 2017
Only a couple pages were really funny. Most of it was just 'erotic' filler written by some vocel. This guy should read and learn from Trollaxor.
September 8, 2020
Odd but enjoyable and pretty darn funny.
August 31, 2021
A fun read but more importantly an interesting "club". I followed a lot of you that wrote reviews of this book, ya'll are reading some interesting titles.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews