Adam's Return: The Five Promises of Male Initiation

by Richard Rohr

Based on decades of work, travel, and experience, Rohr, a Franciscan brother and best-selling author, unearths the complexities of male spiritual maturation and helps us to understand the importance of male initiation rights in both culture and the church.

Genres: Spirituality, Parenting, Christianity, Christian, Religion, Nonfiction, Theology

200 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2004

About the author

Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard's teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized.

Fr. Richard is author of numerous books, including Everything Belongs, Adam’s Return, The Naked Now, Breathing Under Water, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, Eager to Love, and The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation (with Mike Morrell).

Fr. Richard is academic Dean of the Living School for Action and Contemplation. Drawing upon Christianity's place within the Perennial Tradition, the mission of the Living School is to produce compassionate and powerfully learned individuals who will work for positive change in the world based on awareness of our common union with God and all beings. Visit cac.org for more information.

Reviews

[Andrew Marshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this is a book for men - about how we need to be helped from boy to man through initiation - it has a lot to offer women too. After all nobody tells anybody how to be a grown up, we just copy what the grown-ups do: get a job, pay our taxes and hey presto we must be an adult. I was captivated by the five essential truths that we all need to know:

Life is hard
You are not important
Your life is not about you
You are not in control
You are going to die

With main stream modern culture doing it's best to hide these truths or convince us of the opposite, I found the book bracing (if not a little scary). However, I think it is best to know the truth because then you can hear the consolations. What Rohr calls the 'yes and...' ideas which soften the truth and makes a rounded life possible.

[Brian Eshleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Richard Rohr has the voice, both literally and metaphorically as an audio book reader, to say hard things gently. He can challenge areas in which the reader has failed to grow up, and he can do so in a way that is simultaneously bracing and encouraging. Another thing that makes his way of getting across the five things men need to learn as part of their initiation effective is his ability to cross centuries both in his chosen language and in the illustrations he uses. The reader does not expect a Franciscan father who quotes Thomas Aquinas to quote something from the latest American sitcom a few minutes later. As he challenges the reader to be both a contemporary in his own time and to maintain a perspective for the ages, he does the same thing as a writer.

[Jānis Ekmanis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Šo grāmatu man uzdāvināja. Izlasot Jura Rubeņa rakstīto ievadu, krietni apjuku - kā gan tas varētu attiekties uz mani? Apmēram pus gadu es šo grāmatu 'mocīju'. Rindkopu pa rindkopai, aiz cieņas pret dāvinātāju ;) Man, kas ar ticību ir uz 'jūs', traucēja daudzās atsauces uz Bībeli un citu autoru darbiem (bibliogrāfijas saraksts ir uz 14 lapaspusēm!). Kaitinoši, ja ideja ir nevis pamatota, bet izskaidrota ar atsauci uz grāmatu, kuru neesmu lasījis. Frāzes un izteikumi, kas tiek atkārtoti neskaitāmas reizes, katru reizi nepasakot neko vairāk.

Tomēr, pati grāmatas vēsts (messidžš) ieintriģēja - pati iniciācija, piemēri no dažādām kultūrām, paskaidrojumi, ko nozīmē kļūt un būt par vīrieti. Tēva nozīme puiku audzināšanā. Sajūtas un notikumi kas man ir pazīstami no bērnības, un notikumi kurus es piedzīvoju šobrīd, kad pats audzinu dēlu. Daudz kas no tā ir tā vērts, lai par to padomātu. Daudz kas lasot likās nesaprotami, neticami. Neticami nevis zinātniskās fantastikas stilā, bet, piemēram, apgalvojums, ka katra vīrieša dzīvē pienāk brīdis, kad tas (apzināti vai neapzināti) meklē veidu, kā sajusties pieaugušam, man bija neticams, jo manā dzīvē tāds brīdis vēl nebija pienācis. Un dažu dzīvē tas arī nepienāk, ja kāds - tēvs, sabiedrība vai kādi radikāli notikumi uz to aktīvi nevirza. Arī par to ir šī grāmata.

Kādu laiku pēc tam, kad grāmatu (līdz galam neizlasītu) noliku plauktā, pienāca arī mans brīdis 'meklēt sevi'. Un, sagadīšanās pēc, es atkal atvēru šo grāmatu vietā, kur biju to pārtraucis. Pēkšņi tā bija grāmata man! Viss, kas iepriekš likās kā skats no malas uz hipotētisku situāciju kāda cita vīrieša dzīvē, pēkšņi bija mana dvēseles stāvokļa apraksts. Sapratu daudz ko no iepriekš nesaprastā. Pārlasīju sadaļas kas ieprieš likās interesantas, lai pamanītu iepriekš garām palaistas lietas.

Vai kaut kas no tā man ir kaut kā palīdzējis izaugt? Nezinu. Taču saprast, ka ir kur augt, un uz ko tiekties, gan. Vai es ieteiktu šo grāmatu izlasīt citiem? Kamēr neatradīšu neko vienkāršāku, vieglāk lasāmu, skaidrāku, tikmēr jā, novēlu katram vīrietim pacietību šo grāmatu izlasīt!

[Lauris Brolišs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesanti lasīt pozīciju, kas aizstāv saranžēto (arranged) laulību; brīžiem vnk interasanti redzēt saturu kristīgās literatūras formā. Dažus fragmentus bija nepieciešams pārlasīt vairākas reizes, kamēr saprot kas tur domāts. Forša kritika pret rietumu stilu un personības kultu. Kā arī pret pašu reliģiju un tās elkdievību. Pret mācītājiem, kas pēc dievkalpojuma sapačķā savu garīdznieku tērpu un iemet to geļika bagāžniekā, citiem apstākļiem no kuriem bieži vien izriet mūsdienu cilvēka neticība reliģijām.
Brīžiem pārāk abstrakti, bet kopumā var saprast ko cilvēks cenšas pateikt.
Kā jau gandrīz visur garīgajā literatūrā aicina atteikties no sava ego un saprast kur mans "es" rada problēmas, kā dzīvot dzīvi lai nebūtu jāpārdod savu dvēseli par reņģes cenu utt.

Ciest > saprast ka tas attiecas uz visu pasauli > ieraudzit kopibu pasaule >atrast plasaku merki ka tikai savu saura ego apmierinasanu

tru, izejot no manas personīgās pieredzes.. Šis kā centrālais izejas punkts, kas palicis atmiņā. Visādi citādi arī nepavisam nav slikti.

[Erik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Single best book on spirituality for men that I've ever read.

[Erin McIntosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredibly rich. It gave me a whole new perspective on masculinity, and particularly as a I raise a son. I can't recommend it enough!

[Ben De Bono · Rating 4 out of 5]

In general, I'm not a big fan of Richard Rohr. He has some good things to say, but it always comes with a healthy does of his liberal theology and politics.

Those issues are definitely present in this book, but despite that what Rohr has to say in this book is really important. Our culture has ignored masculine initiation for far too long. Thanks to the work of Rohr and others, many of us are beginning to recognize the problem and will hopefully be able to do something about it.

The book is far from perfect, but what it has to say is extremely important.

[Rex Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

this read changed my view of the world

[Chris Kelley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated and generally agreed with the main point that I think the author was trying to get across (we’ve lost something as a western culture by not having formal initiations or rights of passage, especially for boys / males) but really struggled with his delivery and some of the seeming side tangents. If he was sensing we’ve gone too far in one direction and is taking an extreme in the opposite direction to get us to moderate towards the middle, good enough. But he never says that so I worry that many would read it a call to move (back) to something positively medieval. He makes the claim over and over that men need to be “shocked” into realizing five hard truths, but without any evidence other than it seems we used to do it and it used to work. He doesn’t offer anything in the way of suggestions for safeguards to avoid the abuses of power that was some of the cause for initiation to pass on nor does he dispel any of the toxic traits of those rights. I’m sympathetic to the diagnosis that we could do better by our boys - just not sure this has much to offer by way of a helpful prescription.

[Brandon Porter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow! This book is good and hard and profound and sometimes theologically spot on and other time dangerous theologically, and often very true and insightful anthropologically. So much to glean from this book concerning males going from boys to men and manhood. I will definetly continue to go back to it again and again. This is one of those "eat the meat, spit out the bones" sort of books. Can be so good for some readers and so dangerous for others! I dont know yet what to think because i really liked it but felt like i was walking on a tight rope much of the time...

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not know what I was getting into with this book! I did not realize it was going to be so spiritual. It wasn’t always very coherent but once I adjusted myself to the style I did get a lot of value out of it :)

[Alīna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grāmata, kas palīdz sievietēm daudz labāk izprast vīriešu pasaules redzējumu, vīriešu iniciāciju un identitāti.
Bet šī nebija viegla lasāmviela, jo vismaz priekš manis - šeit tiek runāts pārāk daudz reliģijas.

[Mason Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Freaking epic. He illuminates the flaws and shortcomings of our culture as well drawing on a plethora of cultures over millennia. Sobering and simultaneously encouraging. One of the best books I’ve read!

[Austra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Katrai grāmatai ir savs laiks un vieta, un šī šobrīd mani ļoti uzrunāja, kamēr es pārdomāju mūsdienu sabiedrības īpatnības un to, no kurienes tām aug kājas.

[Peter Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this on Audible, and for the most part really enjoyed Rohr's reading of his own book.

One of the most impactful nonfiction books I've read in the last 5 years has been Rohr's "From Wild Man to Wise Man." "Adam's Return" is less packaged for general consumption, and relies a little more heavily on Rohr's Roman Catholic worldview.

Men's work, and male initiation in particular, has become a central focus in my own personal/spiritual journey, so most of Rohr's writing is both inspiring and practical. That said, Rohr's lens is limited, and at times lacks the context and balance I personally require when discussing gender, God and identity. Where Rohr is concrete (and he is admirably gray for a friar) I need gray. And what may be generally true, or true at times, sometimes sounds more like a rule for Rohr. The most frustrating section for me revolved around the assertion that masculine/father-love is necessarily CONDITIONAL. I can think of subtle, nuanced ways there may be some truth there, sometimes, but on paper (or in audio) it sounds like counterintuitive, patriarchal nonsense. Additionally, I find it important and even necessary to continually frame the conversation of male liberation as an affirming, feminist, egalitarian endeavor. Too much damage is being done in conservative Christian circles, so the balance and context can't be overstated.

There is still not enough written to address healthy masculinity, male identity and male spiritually, so this is still an important contribution to a still latent canon.

[David Brynjolfson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Has some great elements. Obviously plenty here is debatable but my own experience suggests what he says is true. I like that he goes over the major life lessons that everyone needs to learn to reach full maturity. That's what makes this book good.

He talks about masculine archetypes and in a sense it's good he introduces us to this topic. He communicates as if he has access to enlightened spiritual knowledge though... (I say this after reading several of his other books, which I would say are better). As it turns out these archetypes are from Carl Jung and so they're not his own creative genius. I just feel it's a little disingenuous and disappointing but maybe I'm not being fair.

Regardless this book has some profound ideas but it could be better. Maybe he could have written two separate books (one on both of those overarching ideas I mentioned). It just didn't provide as much as it could have as a result.

Also, this is of course quite an alternative attitude from the mainstream of society. So it would be interesting to hear him respond to modern and postmodern ideas of gender and masculinity. More discussion is needed.

[ilze slinke · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is something i can make parrallel to C.Pinkola Estes "Women who run with the wolves",just in the masculine world. And it's beautifully written,I guess the compressed form is something that emerges straight from the masculine world. And i'm happy it does.

As a single mom of two boys,im very very respectful for the Inner Realms and spirituality of men in general. And there really is not so many wise and deep books you could just open and read like this one - from beginning to the end.

I'm feeling priviledged to look into such a wisdom, and the feeling of the Presence, the Spirit and very intimate and personal story about how men grow into The Men,and how youngsters grow into the Men......the rites of passages i found not only exclusive for the men,but very human in essence...the struggles and faith, close connection with their (bad) fathers. .. .and after (or -before) all , the Everlasting presence of their Heavenly Father who lets men (and -us all) - to Transcend it all into the pure Love,Strenght and Wisdom. . .

[Abigail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before reading this book, I recommend reading Rohr's book Everything Belongs, and then From Wild Man to Wise Man. Rohr weaves ideas together in a stream-of-consciousness type of writing and I think the other books will help to make sense of this one.

At the beginning of this book, Rohr describes his credentials and experiences, which I appreciate. He isn't claiming to be an expert in everything, which is good because he sometimes makes statements that need more nuance or clarification. I think part of what makes some of Rohr's writing vague is that his source materials (often theologians and psychologists) can be confusing to read. He is trying to articulate comments complex ideas, and I see value in that. I don't always agree with his conclusions, but I think his intentions are good.

This book would make a good source for discussion. I found value in reading it because of my personal background, but I don't recommend it universally. (Dare I say, better this than Mark Driscoll.)

[A.J. Mendoza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Richard Rohr does a masterful job of consolidating his deep well of intellect and personal experience with men to create a clear and universal pattern for male initiation. Instead of taking five common practices (that may or may not translate into certain cultures) or five common characters (which would face the same issue), Rohr instead gives the reader five common messages that can be universally found. This makes it more translatable for a variety of Western cultures that need help with reviving this rite of passage for their society. The only reason why this book received four instead of five stars is because of the lack of examples found in other cultures of how initiation rites are done. This would have been helpful for the reader to wrap their mind around how these five common messages were communicated. Besides that, this is a must read for any man pursuing the initiate identity and especially for any man wanting to create these initiation experiences for others.

[Grant Klinefelter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rorhr addresses the pervasive problem of the lack of male initiation in the 21st century. We have men who don't know what it means to be men. But without falling into the countless traps of toxic masculinity, Rohr analyzes how cultures around the world have worked to initiate boys into manhood and what that can teach us about God's design for men. Each initiation he studied had five core messages for the boys becoming men:

1) Life is hard.
2) You are not that important.
3) Your life is not about you.
4) You are not in control.
5) You are going to die.

Pretty bleak. But utterly essential. Without understanding our finitude, we cannot grasp the beauty and breadth of our identity given us by the infinite. Rohr goes on to break down each point and show the hope Christ offers to each topic.

[Greg Diehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Matrix movie offers up a solitary red pill to help its male lead wake up to reality. Rohr offers five: 1) Life is Hard 2) You Are Not Important 3) Your Life is Not About You 4) You are Not in Control and 5) You are Going to Die.

All five of those will wake you up in the morning (as well as any other time of day). As stark and blunt as each of the statements is, there is also something reassuring about each truth. If you allow it to be absorbed - really take in the full measure - you not only stop fighting it - you begin to breathe it.

I was raised in a culture that actually does male initiation (and initiation in general) quite well, so a lot of what Rohr had to say in this regard was somewhat validating (a much-needed shot in the arm for my perspective toward my own faith tradition these days). I love Rohr's statement that initiation is really a search for ourselves, our true ("ancient soul") self which is anchored in each of our "uncluttered originality in God." That phrase really struck me. We (I) do a lot to clutter up our lives - which underscores the need to find and take regular doses of the red pills to strip away all that is not life (Thoreau) and recognize what is right in front of us - what is right within us. It's part of what makes each Rohr book a re-read book.

[Matt Sims · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a lot of progressive theology pushed here that I don't agree with. But I knew that going into this book. If you are an evangelical Christian and can't handle taking something beneficial from an author who holds different beliefs than you - than this book isn't for you.

That being said - this is the single best book I've ever read on manhood. I believe every man should read this.

Rohr discusses many of the reasons men struggle to "grow up" and live an other's focused life. He lists five truths that men must learn:

Life is hard
You are not important
Your life is not about you
You are not in control
You are going to die

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

One can only fathom the lack of spiritual growth in the west and in one's own personal life.
Rohr's case for spiritual initiation is one of deep knowledge and wisdom observing several religions and traditions. Even when at times it was a bit hard to follow some of his thought jumping (also I read the German translation), this book is full of real gold nuggets.
It left me with the desire to retreat for a couple of weeks in the wilderness or take a time machine and live with earlier Christian monks and just absorb all the wisdom, liturgy and focus.

[Ken Doman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is a good cross-cultural study of male initiation and rights-of-passage for young boys turning to men. It echos a need for that in our society, which has replaced rights of passage that men have to earn, with things that they can simply buy.

As an evangelical Christian, I didn't like the pot-shots the author took at my faith. He tried to box my beliefs into a straw-man he could beat up from time to time. Other than that, it was a pretty decent book.

[Carmela Kika · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the mother of a boy after being the mother of several girls, I have found this book useful in a deep way... Boy´s emotional and spiritual needs are patently different, in my experience, and this book has helped see why and how I can pint my son towards helpful male relationships - and what to look for in them.

[Matt Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took 3-4 days and read this book. The whole idea of a male inhiation is so foreign to me but makes a lot of sense. This book was all about denying yourself and understanding that life is hard, it's not about me, and the most important things are not what you may think they are. I'm a formally selfish man that needed to read this book and a good friend lent it to me.

[Alan Marr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though Richard Rohr, like many prolific authors, tends to repeat himself from time to time, everything he writes is worth reading a second or third time. Rohr has been a source of grace and wisdom to me for many years. This book is no exception.

[Chad Lynch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not my favorite book of his, but as always Rohr makes incredible observations about life, spirituality and psychology that, if followed and practiced, would make our world an immeasurably better place.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really appreciated the 5 promises of male initiation that he gets into during the first 1/3 of the book. However, Rohr’s tendency to ramble on and on in his books can make this (like his other books) a difficult read at times.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, I enjoyed reading this. There is a lot to think about and the five promises are interesting for all of us, but I wondered how we get it into the hands of men, and how to we support men in taking care of each other and leading each other?