What do you think?
Rate this book
I'll Have What She's Having: How Nora Ephron's Three Iconic Films Saved the Romantic Comedy
A backstage look at the making of Nora Ephron's revered trilogy-- When Harry Met Sally , You've Got Mail , and Sleepless in Seattle --which brought romantic comedies back to the fore, and an intimate portrait of the beloved writer/director who inspired a generation of Hollywood women, from Mindy Kaling to Lena Dunham.
In I'll Have What She's Having entertainment journalist Erin Carlson tells the story of the real Nora Ephron and how she reinvented the romcom through her trio of instant classics. With a cast of famous faces including Rob Reiner, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and Billy Crystal, Carlson takes readers on a rollicking, revelatory trip to Ephron's New York City, where reality took a backseat to romance and Ephron--who always knew what she wanted and how she wanted it--ruled the set with an attention to detail that made her actors feel safe but sometimes exasperated crew members.
Along the way, Carlson examines how Ephron explored in the cinema answers to the questions that plagued her own romantic life and how she regained faith in love after one broken engagement and two failed marriages. Carlson also explores countless other questions Ephron's fans have wondered What sparked Reiner to snap out of his bachelor blues during the making of When Harry Met Sally ? Why was Ryan, a gifted comedian trapped in the body of a fairytale princess, not the first choice for the role? After she and Hanks each separatel balked at playing Mail' s Kathleen Kelly and Sleepless ' Sam Baldwin, what changed their minds? And perhaps most What was Dave Chappelle doing . . . in a turtleneck ? An intimate portrait of a one of America's most iconic filmmakers and a look behind the scenes of her crowning achievements, I'll Have What She's Having is a vivid account of the days and nights when Ephron, along with assorted cynical collaborators, learned to show her heart on the screen.
In I'll Have What She's Having entertainment journalist Erin Carlson tells the story of the real Nora Ephron and how she reinvented the romcom through her trio of instant classics. With a cast of famous faces including Rob Reiner, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and Billy Crystal, Carlson takes readers on a rollicking, revelatory trip to Ephron's New York City, where reality took a backseat to romance and Ephron--who always knew what she wanted and how she wanted it--ruled the set with an attention to detail that made her actors feel safe but sometimes exasperated crew members.
Along the way, Carlson examines how Ephron explored in the cinema answers to the questions that plagued her own romantic life and how she regained faith in love after one broken engagement and two failed marriages. Carlson also explores countless other questions Ephron's fans have wondered What sparked Reiner to snap out of his bachelor blues during the making of When Harry Met Sally ? Why was Ryan, a gifted comedian trapped in the body of a fairytale princess, not the first choice for the role? After she and Hanks each separatel balked at playing Mail' s Kathleen Kelly and Sleepless ' Sam Baldwin, what changed their minds? And perhaps most What was Dave Chappelle doing . . . in a turtleneck ? An intimate portrait of a one of America's most iconic filmmakers and a look behind the scenes of her crowning achievements, I'll Have What She's Having is a vivid account of the days and nights when Ephron, along with assorted cynical collaborators, learned to show her heart on the screen.
352 pages, Paperback
First published August 29, 2017
225 people are currently reading
5386 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 426 reviews
December 12, 2024
There are some films that are simply unforgettable. And, even if you are younger than me, and you weren’t around when they first came out, they are considered the perfect classic romantic movies that stay with viewers. So much so, they are worth watching over and over again. At least, for me. They are my 3 favorite rom-com movies of all time… “When Harry Met Sally,” “You’ve Got Mail” and “Sleepless in Seattle.” All 3-starred Meg Ryan, and 2-starred Tom Hanks.
The closing scene of “You’ve Got Mail” is my corgi dog Oliver’s favorite, because it includes the character, Tom Hank’s dog, Berkeley. Actually, to be honest, Oliver and I both love that scene. Oliver knows it so well, he anticipates it each time. Of course, it helps when I replay it for him a few times when Netflix decides to have this movie on each year. He sits there on our chair waiting patiently with glee and then jumps and barks happily, offering a toy to the dog on the screen, each time Berkeley shows up!
Anyway, when I saw this book in my local library talking about how Nora Ephron’s “three iconic films saved the romantic comedy” I thought, this made sense to me. Because, it certainly saved “love” for me during that stage of my life when the movies first came out. It reignited the romantic in me.
Obviously, rom-coms in books or movies aren’t for everyone. But if you are like me, and love watching them, and happened to see “When Harry Met Sally,” who could forget the famous scene of Meg Ryan faking an orgasm at Katz’s deli? Ephron had a way of changing the way any of us looked at romantic comedies. It wasn’t going to be a predictable ending in quite the same way.
This book tells the story of Ephron’s work up to and including her work on these 3 films. Including the state of movies at the time these movies came out. A behind the scenes feeling, including some actual pictures. It also includes some of the other names of actors who were also considered for the roles.
Ultimately, it tells the story of how the movies were made and the effect they had on all of us. Including me. Well, it doesn’t include me in this story, I just included me in the telling in this review.
There was an interesting quote that I could appreciate, because I noticed it even at my latest birthday when, costar Harley Jane Kozak from “When Harry Met Sally” told Carlson, “America will never forgive Meg Ryan for growing old.”
Isn’t that the truth? We will always see her as cute and young and youthful and so beautiful and “pure” in all 3 of these movies. And, funny thing, when I asked my husband if I looked my age, a really silly question to ask your husband, he said, “absolutely not.” And, then when I asked him, “how old do I really look?” And, he looked at me very seriously and said, “At least 6 years younger than you do now.” And I said, “Just 6 years?” Anyway, you get my drift! There is a point, where age is upon us, and it cannot escape us. And, I have to imagine that happened to Meg Ryan, too.
This book, although not a perfect read, and certainly not a biography, was a nice step back in time, to visit 3 of my favorite movies. It makes me feel nostalgic again to want to watch them. Are they available on any of my streaming devices? 🥲
The closing scene of “You’ve Got Mail” is my corgi dog Oliver’s favorite, because it includes the character, Tom Hank’s dog, Berkeley. Actually, to be honest, Oliver and I both love that scene. Oliver knows it so well, he anticipates it each time. Of course, it helps when I replay it for him a few times when Netflix decides to have this movie on each year. He sits there on our chair waiting patiently with glee and then jumps and barks happily, offering a toy to the dog on the screen, each time Berkeley shows up!
Anyway, when I saw this book in my local library talking about how Nora Ephron’s “three iconic films saved the romantic comedy” I thought, this made sense to me. Because, it certainly saved “love” for me during that stage of my life when the movies first came out. It reignited the romantic in me.
Obviously, rom-coms in books or movies aren’t for everyone. But if you are like me, and love watching them, and happened to see “When Harry Met Sally,” who could forget the famous scene of Meg Ryan faking an orgasm at Katz’s deli? Ephron had a way of changing the way any of us looked at romantic comedies. It wasn’t going to be a predictable ending in quite the same way.
This book tells the story of Ephron’s work up to and including her work on these 3 films. Including the state of movies at the time these movies came out. A behind the scenes feeling, including some actual pictures. It also includes some of the other names of actors who were also considered for the roles.
Ultimately, it tells the story of how the movies were made and the effect they had on all of us. Including me. Well, it doesn’t include me in this story, I just included me in the telling in this review.
There was an interesting quote that I could appreciate, because I noticed it even at my latest birthday when, costar Harley Jane Kozak from “When Harry Met Sally” told Carlson, “America will never forgive Meg Ryan for growing old.”
Isn’t that the truth? We will always see her as cute and young and youthful and so beautiful and “pure” in all 3 of these movies. And, funny thing, when I asked my husband if I looked my age, a really silly question to ask your husband, he said, “absolutely not.” And, then when I asked him, “how old do I really look?” And, he looked at me very seriously and said, “At least 6 years younger than you do now.” And I said, “Just 6 years?” Anyway, you get my drift! There is a point, where age is upon us, and it cannot escape us. And, I have to imagine that happened to Meg Ryan, too.
This book, although not a perfect read, and certainly not a biography, was a nice step back in time, to visit 3 of my favorite movies. It makes me feel nostalgic again to want to watch them. Are they available on any of my streaming devices? 🥲
July 6, 2023
There's little doubt of Nora Ephron's contribution to rom coms, and this book illuminates it in detail. The title of the book spells the essence while bringing a smile to those who witnessed Meg Ryan's orgasm in a NY deli! Harry met Sally is iconic as is the question, can men and women be friends.
What I enjoyed most about the stories of the development of the three films, was learning first hand what it's like to be on location, dealing with infinite details of which Nora's quirks were a major part. It also sheds light on areas of her life most aren't familiar. We learn of the actual back stories of Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan and Nora's sister Delia in addition to how an ideas eventually become films like the ones mentioned in this book. More importantly, it shows how elements of Nora's life, writing and relationships became her trademark which has yet to be duplicated.
While 'Harry met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail' didn't set box office records, their impact of romantic comedies is legendary. She's a stickler for details, food, location and appearance and loves to laugh at herself. Thrice married, her personal stories are the foundation for all the female characters.
For those that loved these films as much as I have, it's sad that there was little about 'Julie and Julia' other than how Nora stumbled across Julie Powell's blog. Perhaps one of Nora's best received movies, I'd hoped there would be more development details. Regardless it's a wonderful trip down memory lane and one worth adding to your list!
What I enjoyed most about the stories of the development of the three films, was learning first hand what it's like to be on location, dealing with infinite details of which Nora's quirks were a major part. It also sheds light on areas of her life most aren't familiar. We learn of the actual back stories of Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan and Nora's sister Delia in addition to how an ideas eventually become films like the ones mentioned in this book. More importantly, it shows how elements of Nora's life, writing and relationships became her trademark which has yet to be duplicated.
While 'Harry met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail' didn't set box office records, their impact of romantic comedies is legendary. She's a stickler for details, food, location and appearance and loves to laugh at herself. Thrice married, her personal stories are the foundation for all the female characters.
For those that loved these films as much as I have, it's sad that there was little about 'Julie and Julia' other than how Nora stumbled across Julie Powell's blog. Perhaps one of Nora's best received movies, I'd hoped there would be more development details. Regardless it's a wonderful trip down memory lane and one worth adding to your list!
December 14, 2017
I was disappointed in this book. I had hoped for an analysis of Nora Ephron's films, but this reads more like a long People magazine article. I love Ephron's iconic films (Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally and You've Got Mail) so there was just enough inside info about the movie-making process to make me finish the book.
April 4, 2019
A book about three of my favorite movies ("When Harry Met Sally", "Sleepless in Seattle", and "You've Got Mail"), yes please! The writing was often clunky and overly detailed, but, who cares? Meg and Billy, Meg and Tom, and Nora Ephron's epitomizing, New York-based movie settings carry the book. Reminiscent and romantically nostalgic. Who wants to come over for a Nora movie marathon?
January 2, 2018
Honestly enjoyed the heck out of this. It obviously helped that the three movies that the bulk of this movie is about are some of my favourite movies of all time!, but I think it also helped how well the behind-the-scenes mechanics of them were described - the conception of the stories, the interplay that went behind the creation of some characters. I liked that Carlson threaded in the general trajectories of the instrumental actors and creators in between the movie bits; it contextualised a couple of things that I thought were cool.
What I loved most, I think, is how much Carlson grounds these three whole, genuinely romantic movies with acknowledgement of the messiness and dysfunction of Hollywood, and acknowledgement of the acerbic intelligence of Nora Ephron herself. I was a little worried it would make them less likable, but it actually underlines something about these movies I love: it makes these movies feel like they come from a place of loving these stories and these characters and these relationships, instead of the by-the-book, 'let's write a movie that we can sell as counter-programming for women!', cynical way of making romcoms that I feel comes across in a lot of movies between 2000-2015-ish. It points out what Ephron did to make even individual side characters totally pop, in a way only she could do - the Carrie Fisher, the Bill Pullman, the Greg Kinnear. It highlights the snappish, biting tone of some of the dialogue and choices in the films (Ephron through and through), which they don't get enough credit for; and makes the warmth and kindness and hope of them even more effective (also Ephron, honestly). Carlson never fawns over anyone or anything here, and that emphasises the strengths of these movies and performances, the sheer strength of Ephron's writing.
Anyway. Loved this a lot.
What I loved most, I think, is how much Carlson grounds these three whole, genuinely romantic movies with acknowledgement of the messiness and dysfunction of Hollywood, and acknowledgement of the acerbic intelligence of Nora Ephron herself. I was a little worried it would make them less likable, but it actually underlines something about these movies I love: it makes these movies feel like they come from a place of loving these stories and these characters and these relationships, instead of the by-the-book, 'let's write a movie that we can sell as counter-programming for women!', cynical way of making romcoms that I feel comes across in a lot of movies between 2000-2015-ish. It points out what Ephron did to make even individual side characters totally pop, in a way only she could do - the Carrie Fisher, the Bill Pullman, the Greg Kinnear. It highlights the snappish, biting tone of some of the dialogue and choices in the films (Ephron through and through), which they don't get enough credit for; and makes the warmth and kindness and hope of them even more effective (also Ephron, honestly). Carlson never fawns over anyone or anything here, and that emphasises the strengths of these movies and performances, the sheer strength of Ephron's writing.
Anyway. Loved this a lot.
Read
January 19, 2022This book was great. I watched each movie as Erin Carlson broke it down. It's such great insight into what makes Nora Ephron who she was.
September 19, 2025
I felt lucky being young at a time when Nora Ephron contributed to making these three films. I am a bit jaded about romance in my current age, but these three are wonderful classics. It was nice to learn a little about them.
November 15, 2017
I love the movie When Harry Met Sally. Love it. As a college student, my friend Annette and I watched this movie every time I visited with her: EVERY TIME. We have whole sections memorized.
Needless to say, when I ran across this title in the library, I knew I had to read it.
I enjoyed the look into Ephron's writing process and also her directing process. There is a lot to parse out when it comes to Hollywood and making a movie. There is a lot of insider information shared with the reader about all three movies discussed (Sleepless in Seattle and You Got Mail are the other two).
It is also interesting to hear about the trajectory the actors/actresses took once When Harry Met Sally wrapped. And shocking to learn Tom Hanks wasn't always the polished Oscar winner we know today.
Ephron faced challenges in her choice of actors and her directorial choices. But she comes across as someone that knows what she wants and how she wants it (sound familiar? "I'd like that on the side."). Ephron is one of a handful of women that have had blockbuster movies. This book is a reminder of the gender bias that continues in Hollywood.
All in all, if you are a fan of Ephron or any of the three movies discussed, I would recommend this one.
Needless to say, when I ran across this title in the library, I knew I had to read it.
I enjoyed the look into Ephron's writing process and also her directing process. There is a lot to parse out when it comes to Hollywood and making a movie. There is a lot of insider information shared with the reader about all three movies discussed (Sleepless in Seattle and You Got Mail are the other two).
It is also interesting to hear about the trajectory the actors/actresses took once When Harry Met Sally wrapped. And shocking to learn Tom Hanks wasn't always the polished Oscar winner we know today.
Ephron faced challenges in her choice of actors and her directorial choices. But she comes across as someone that knows what she wants and how she wants it (sound familiar? "I'd like that on the side."). Ephron is one of a handful of women that have had blockbuster movies. This book is a reminder of the gender bias that continues in Hollywood.
All in all, if you are a fan of Ephron or any of the three movies discussed, I would recommend this one.
January 17, 2022
As a Rom-Com lover, one could assume I'm crazy about Nora Ephron's work and be 100% right about it. This book's prompt hooked me right away but I ended up not having a great time reading it, as expected. Yes, it's very interesting and well written, but it just read like a magazine feature on the making of these movies and I was expecting a bit more about the creative process of it all. Nevertheless, it was an entertaining, even if sometimes extensive, read.
September 19, 2023
I LOVED this! It is tremendously researched, and so tenderly human. I learned so much more about Nora, these films, the way movies are made, how much heart and soul goes into every word an actor says. And if it’s at all possible, I learned to love Nora even more.
August 25, 2017
Light-hearted and witty, a little of this, a lot of that. The talent of Nora Ephron and her influence on the rom-com movies so many of us love. (Yeah, I love them, I'm just not into romantic novels.)
I found it an easy read, a lot of the information covered here was included in the television special about her, which I found terribly sad. The book is not so much sad, as revealing. What she loved, what she wanted, and how she worked her 'movie magic,' on three of my fav. films, and which are three truly iconic American movies. I'm just so sad she didn't have more time and more material in which to use Ryan and Hanks, or Ryan and Crystal.
Quick and entertaining read, for movie-lovers and fans of Ms. Ephron.
Four stars
I found it an easy read, a lot of the information covered here was included in the television special about her, which I found terribly sad. The book is not so much sad, as revealing. What she loved, what she wanted, and how she worked her 'movie magic,' on three of my fav. films, and which are three truly iconic American movies. I'm just so sad she didn't have more time and more material in which to use Ryan and Hanks, or Ryan and Crystal.
Quick and entertaining read, for movie-lovers and fans of Ms. Ephron.
Four stars
January 22, 2018
It's a really interesting look at the making of Nora Ephron's three most popular movies and I did thoroughly enjoy it. However, the subtitle absolutely doesn't apply - the movies are not discussed in relation to other romantic comedies or the genre in general (at least not in any detail) and there's no critique. I liked it, but I like behind the scenes books. If you're here for criticism or critique you're in the wrong place, this is basically a fan who got to talk to people about the movie. Still, I liked it and it was a neat look at what went on behind the camera. I got this one in a GR Giveaway.
September 6, 2020
3.5
I respect this dish. Old gossip is the best gossip because it’s so inconsequential.
I wanted more of argumentative style in expounding upon what Nora Ephron did for the romantic comedy genre. We did a little of that, but I could have used more.
I spent most of this book trying to rank her iconic trio of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, & You’ve Got Mail in the order of my favorite. I think I have an answer.
Buutttt, no one will ever want to watch these movies with me again because the amount of trivia I would want to contribute would be irritating.
I respect this dish. Old gossip is the best gossip because it’s so inconsequential.
I wanted more of argumentative style in expounding upon what Nora Ephron did for the romantic comedy genre. We did a little of that, but I could have used more.
I spent most of this book trying to rank her iconic trio of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, & You’ve Got Mail in the order of my favorite. I think I have an answer.
Buutttt, no one will ever want to watch these movies with me again because the amount of trivia I would want to contribute would be irritating.
November 15, 2017
I read this while I was sick in bed and it was the perfect light, but interesting read for the occasion. Loved reminiscing about the 3 popular romantic comedies of Nora Ephron and hearing the behind the scenes stories of herself as well as the lead actors. The writing style is a little random, but it worked for the content. 3.5 stars.
July 1, 2020
Will I ever learn to write a book review that says more than just “I cried”?? Perhaps but today is not that day!!!
August 30, 2017
4.5 stars.
I love the three movies (When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, & You've Got Mail) that this book is focused on, romcoms, and movies in general. I am also an entertainment trivia junkie. It's not so much the gossip that I am interested in, it's more the behind-the-scenes glimpses of my favorite movies and television shows, such as who were the top contenders for the roles, how did lines end up in making it in, what scenes were cut and why, and who got along and who didn't. (OK, maybe there is a little bit of gossip girl in me!) I was convinced from the description that I would enjoy this book and it didn't disappoint me at all.
Erin Carlson is an entertainment journalist and she writes in an engaging way that made me feel like I was on each set, watching the films being made. She gives us the background of Nora Ephron--interesting in its own right. Besides being a fan of her movies, I enjoy Ephron's writing having read Heartburn a few years ago and delving into I Feel Bad About My Neck more recently--so although I
knew something about her background, it was interesting to learn more. But, at the end of the day, I was in it for the movies and there are plenty of interesting facts, details, and juicy bits to enjoy. I wanted to re-watch the three films as I read about them, but time was tight for me this month and I only managed You've Got Mail last weekend. It was fun to watch and look through the different scenes with this book in hand and I intend to repeat it with Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally very soon.
I think anyone who loves movies, especially romantic comedies, and who admires and appreciates the amazing talent that Nora Ephron was, couldn't help but enjoy this book. It's a tribute to Ephron, but it doesn't sugar-coat her cynical and sometimes difficult sides, or those of the actors and other notables that she chose to work with. The details and trivia are absorbing and entertaining and it's a fun and fascinating read--one of my favorites for August.
You can see my full review, as well as a recipe for Tiramisu Cream Clouds, inspired by Sleepless in Seattle and my reading on my blog post here: https://kahakaikitchen.blogspot.com/2...
Note: A review copy of "I'll Have What She's Having" was provided to me by the author and the publisher via TLC Book Tours. I was not compensated for this review and as always, my thoughts and opinions are my own.
I love the three movies (When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, & You've Got Mail) that this book is focused on, romcoms, and movies in general. I am also an entertainment trivia junkie. It's not so much the gossip that I am interested in, it's more the behind-the-scenes glimpses of my favorite movies and television shows, such as who were the top contenders for the roles, how did lines end up in making it in, what scenes were cut and why, and who got along and who didn't. (OK, maybe there is a little bit of gossip girl in me!) I was convinced from the description that I would enjoy this book and it didn't disappoint me at all.
Erin Carlson is an entertainment journalist and she writes in an engaging way that made me feel like I was on each set, watching the films being made. She gives us the background of Nora Ephron--interesting in its own right. Besides being a fan of her movies, I enjoy Ephron's writing having read Heartburn a few years ago and delving into I Feel Bad About My Neck more recently--so although I
knew something about her background, it was interesting to learn more. But, at the end of the day, I was in it for the movies and there are plenty of interesting facts, details, and juicy bits to enjoy. I wanted to re-watch the three films as I read about them, but time was tight for me this month and I only managed You've Got Mail last weekend. It was fun to watch and look through the different scenes with this book in hand and I intend to repeat it with Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally very soon.
I think anyone who loves movies, especially romantic comedies, and who admires and appreciates the amazing talent that Nora Ephron was, couldn't help but enjoy this book. It's a tribute to Ephron, but it doesn't sugar-coat her cynical and sometimes difficult sides, or those of the actors and other notables that she chose to work with. The details and trivia are absorbing and entertaining and it's a fun and fascinating read--one of my favorites for August.
You can see my full review, as well as a recipe for Tiramisu Cream Clouds, inspired by Sleepless in Seattle and my reading on my blog post here: https://kahakaikitchen.blogspot.com/2...
Note: A review copy of "I'll Have What She's Having" was provided to me by the author and the publisher via TLC Book Tours. I was not compensated for this review and as always, my thoughts and opinions are my own.
January 2, 2025
If you love Nora Ephron's films as much as I do, then this book is a must-read. With an incredibly well-researched approach, Erin Carlson brings to light what it was like to be among Nora Ephron's brilliance, from drafting to filming, on the sets of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You've Got Mail. Not only does Carlson focus on Ephron, but also the people she was surrounded by, from recurring crew members to the stars she worked with. I learned so much about the process of getting a film made, and what different people along the way think about when putting together a production—and Carlson never once lost me in lingo, or got too technical.
Another huge draw to the book is the array of behind the scenes knowledge Carlson seems to have unearthed about the films and Ephron's life. Like, did you know that Joe Fox from You've Got Mail is named after the real-life Joe Fox, an editor at Random House who passed away in 1995—and who was one of Nora’s exes?! The book it littered with tidbits like these, that make the movies that much richer and that illuminate Ephron's life.
My only regret is reading this book when none of the movies are available on a streaming service that I own—I have such a desire to binge all three in order now!
Another huge draw to the book is the array of behind the scenes knowledge Carlson seems to have unearthed about the films and Ephron's life. Like, did you know that Joe Fox from You've Got Mail is named after the real-life Joe Fox, an editor at Random House who passed away in 1995—and who was one of Nora’s exes?! The book it littered with tidbits like these, that make the movies that much richer and that illuminate Ephron's life.
My only regret is reading this book when none of the movies are available on a streaming service that I own—I have such a desire to binge all three in order now!
July 6, 2020
“Don’t you love New York in the fall?”
Any fan of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and/or You’ve Got Mail will love this book too. So many fun behind the scenes tidbits – not just about Nora Ephron but including Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and other cast and crew of each film. You’ll get an insider peek at the origination of your favorite lines – lines that are now in the unofficial romcom hall of fame.
Recognize any of these?
“I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts.”
“M.F.E.O.”
“I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.”
And of course…
“I’ll have what she’s having!”
In this glimpse at the production process for three of my favorite movies, we learn how those famous lines came into being. Lines that now we can’t possibly imagine the script without. You also discover other actors and actresses who were contending for the parts that became defining roles for Billy Crystal, Tom Hanks, and Meg Ryan. And you get a lot of fun somewhat-unrelated Hollywood trivia. For instance, did you know that Rob Reiner and Penny Marshall were married once upon a time? Or that My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the largest grossing romcom to date? Or that Nora Ephron’s second husband was Carl Bernstein, the journalist of Watergate fame? Do you know what role Meg Ryan turned down in order to play the leading role of Sally?
Bottom Line: I’ll Have What She’s Having brings beloved movies – beloved characters – to life in new ways. By the end of this engaging, conversational and witty book, you will adore Tom Hanks even more than you already do. And you’ll for sure want to pull these movies out of your DVD cabinet and snuggle in for an epic romcom movie night! A great read, a perfect blend of nostalgia, honesty and snark.
Reviewer’s Note: Readers may want to be aware that there is some scattered profanity throughout this book.
(I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book)
first seen at Reading Is My SuperPower
Any fan of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and/or You’ve Got Mail will love this book too. So many fun behind the scenes tidbits – not just about Nora Ephron but including Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, and other cast and crew of each film. You’ll get an insider peek at the origination of your favorite lines – lines that are now in the unofficial romcom hall of fame.
Recognize any of these?
“I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts.”
“M.F.E.O.”
“I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.”
And of course…
“I’ll have what she’s having!”
In this glimpse at the production process for three of my favorite movies, we learn how those famous lines came into being. Lines that now we can’t possibly imagine the script without. You also discover other actors and actresses who were contending for the parts that became defining roles for Billy Crystal, Tom Hanks, and Meg Ryan. And you get a lot of fun somewhat-unrelated Hollywood trivia. For instance, did you know that Rob Reiner and Penny Marshall were married once upon a time? Or that My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the largest grossing romcom to date? Or that Nora Ephron’s second husband was Carl Bernstein, the journalist of Watergate fame? Do you know what role Meg Ryan turned down in order to play the leading role of Sally?
Bottom Line: I’ll Have What She’s Having brings beloved movies – beloved characters – to life in new ways. By the end of this engaging, conversational and witty book, you will adore Tom Hanks even more than you already do. And you’ll for sure want to pull these movies out of your DVD cabinet and snuggle in for an epic romcom movie night! A great read, a perfect blend of nostalgia, honesty and snark.
Reviewer’s Note: Readers may want to be aware that there is some scattered profanity throughout this book.
(I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book)
first seen at Reading Is My SuperPower
October 1, 2022
Takeaways: it’s fall and I really want to watch the ultimate rom-com trilogy. Nora Ephron raised the bar of a well-loved genre that imo hasn’t been met since her death in 2012. Still waiting. I enjoyed reading about women working in Hollywood and all the hurdles they have to jump through just to be taken seriously. Also Tom Hanks is a national treasure and just as nice in his personal life as you want him to be from watching his movies.
Want to read
September 29, 2022i know it's really popular to be like "why can't every man be *insert respectful, bf-coded man here*" but i'm here to say why can't every woman, or at least every rom-com film writer, be nora ephron???
*it's usually andrew garfield, as it should be
*it's usually andrew garfield, as it should be
October 2, 2025
It's not that serious but it takes it very seriously and I absolutely tore through it.
April 1, 2020
Nora Ephron's movies are some of my favorites. This book looks at her three iconic romantic comedies--When Harry Met Sally--Sleepless in Seattle--You've Got Mail. Erin Carlson, also a fan, introduces Ephron through her childhood, her marriages, and her career. The behind the scenes look of all the aspects of filmmaking from the casting to the site selections just make this a fun book to read--amazing to realize the preparations needed before any filming begins. However, fans sometimes see those involved with a favorite film in a particular and positive way. Reading this book may show that all people have flaws, and only if characters and directors in movies are perfect. On a side note, Nora Ephron was known to be a fabulous cook. Her dinner parties were talked about throughout the book and some recipes are chronicled in the book Heartburn...anxious to try a few.
June 6, 2022
Romantic comedy fans may enjoy this biography of writer/director Nora Ephron by way of the process of making her three most famous romantic comedy films. It’s fascinating getting a peek into the creative process and how the stories evolved along the way. It almost reads like a novel, and even though I’ve seen these movies, I was sometimes on the edge of my seat, worried about whether things would work out and the movies would get made in spite of the obstacles. Now I need to do a movie marathon of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail.
August 26, 2017
This is exactly what you think it is- a fascinating and very detailed look at how WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE & YOU'VE GOT MAIL came to be. An absolute must-read for Nora Ephron fans. I've read many of her essays, but reading various friends, coworkers and admirers' first-hand experiences with Nora enriched my perspective of who she was and what she did. Sobering insights about being a woman in the film industry aside, this is also an inspiring read. Love, love love.
December 4, 2018
These movies are like a warm hug. As someone who is a big fan of these three rom-coms + behind the scenes dirt, this book was so enjoyable for me. It was fun to read about the origins of these movies and the obstacles they had to overcome in order to cement them in the rom-com hall of fame, so to speak. Carlson's writing can be choppy at times - she bounces around a lot from person to person, movie to movie, story to story, without transitioning, so it's easy to get lost, but it didn't detract too much from my experience.
If you're a fan of these movies (or Nora Ephron), you will enjoy this!
March 22, 2019
I've seen all these movies but Sleepless in Seattle is the only one I am super familiar with. It was an interesting look behind the scenes of those movies even if the writing was a little scattered at times.
July 1, 2018
I love Nora Ephron and I love these movies and I love this book.
January 18, 2023
If you love Nora Ephron and/or her three signature rom-coms – When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail – you will enjoy this book, which reads like an extra-long entertainment magazine article (albeit an exhaustively researched and reported one). I don’t think it quite delivers on the promise of its subtitle – Carlson doesn’t really make or support the “saving the genre” argument. In fact, she talks at length about how critics lambasted the latter two films. A better, truer sub: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Nora Ephron’s Three Iconic Films. The book delivers those tidbits in spades.
I am obsessed with Nora Ephron, and I cherished every little factoid about and quote from her that Carlson unearthed. She was such a singular person, woman, writer, and director, with such a strong point of view and voice. I didn’t expect to learn so much about her frequent collaborators, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, but their stories were captivating as well. As a When Harry Met Sally fangirl, I wanted even more Billy Crystal and Rob Reiner intel! Alas, she went deeper on Hanks.
I’ve actually only seen Sleepless a couple of times, and You’ve Got Mail once. I didn’t love either like I love WHMS. I remember being particularly underwhelmed by You’ve Got Mail when I watched it in high school. I am going to rewatch both now, with this book fresh in my mind, and see how I feel as a grown woman. Both movies could have been casualties of my ambivalence toward Tom Hanks. I’m still figuring out my feelings about that man. He seems universally beloved, but there’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way. Meg, on the other hand, is magnetic. I have to give them another try for her. And for my beloved Nora. 💜
There are some clunky bits here, some cheesy passages, and a few head-scratching descriptions. The author also switches to the first-person voice a few times, and it’s jarring in each instance. But it’s an easy, breezy, and fun read about a topic I find fascinating. I really enjoyed it overall.
I am obsessed with Nora Ephron, and I cherished every little factoid about and quote from her that Carlson unearthed. She was such a singular person, woman, writer, and director, with such a strong point of view and voice. I didn’t expect to learn so much about her frequent collaborators, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, but their stories were captivating as well. As a When Harry Met Sally fangirl, I wanted even more Billy Crystal and Rob Reiner intel! Alas, she went deeper on Hanks.
I’ve actually only seen Sleepless a couple of times, and You’ve Got Mail once. I didn’t love either like I love WHMS. I remember being particularly underwhelmed by You’ve Got Mail when I watched it in high school. I am going to rewatch both now, with this book fresh in my mind, and see how I feel as a grown woman. Both movies could have been casualties of my ambivalence toward Tom Hanks. I’m still figuring out my feelings about that man. He seems universally beloved, but there’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way. Meg, on the other hand, is magnetic. I have to give them another try for her. And for my beloved Nora. 💜
There are some clunky bits here, some cheesy passages, and a few head-scratching descriptions. The author also switches to the first-person voice a few times, and it’s jarring in each instance. But it’s an easy, breezy, and fun read about a topic I find fascinating. I really enjoyed it overall.
July 27, 2020
If you've seen all three of Nora Ephron's iconic romantic comedies, you're going to love this!
It was so interesting to read about the making of all of these movies that have shaped romcoms as we know them today. There is so much about the ins and outs of the industry that I did not know and this book taught me so much!
Also, this book made me stan Tom Hanks even harder than I was before, so it also has that going for itself.
However, I think it's important to note that if you haven't seen all three movies, you're probably not going to love this as much. I have yet to see Sleepless in Seattle (yes, I know), and as the book focuses on all three movies, there was a big chunk of the book that I just couldn't appreciate as much because I had no references to what was being discussed. Sleepless in Seattle is Nora's first romcom as a director, so it was even more important. I would highly recommend making sure you're familiar with all three movies before diving in!
Also, I felt like the way this book was written could be quite confusing at times. The author often took some detours while telling Nora's story, and I didn't understand why we were jumping around so much. One second she was talking about one thing, only to jump to something else entirely in the next few lines without it being clear in context. I struggled a little bit with the writing because of that at first, even though I did get used to it towards the end.
I would highly recommend this book for all fans of Nora Ephron's work!
It was so interesting to read about the making of all of these movies that have shaped romcoms as we know them today. There is so much about the ins and outs of the industry that I did not know and this book taught me so much!
Also, this book made me stan Tom Hanks even harder than I was before, so it also has that going for itself.
However, I think it's important to note that if you haven't seen all three movies, you're probably not going to love this as much. I have yet to see Sleepless in Seattle (yes, I know), and as the book focuses on all three movies, there was a big chunk of the book that I just couldn't appreciate as much because I had no references to what was being discussed. Sleepless in Seattle is Nora's first romcom as a director, so it was even more important. I would highly recommend making sure you're familiar with all three movies before diving in!
Also, I felt like the way this book was written could be quite confusing at times. The author often took some detours while telling Nora's story, and I didn't understand why we were jumping around so much. One second she was talking about one thing, only to jump to something else entirely in the next few lines without it being clear in context. I struggled a little bit with the writing because of that at first, even though I did get used to it towards the end.
I would highly recommend this book for all fans of Nora Ephron's work!
February 12, 2021
I LOVED this book.
Journalist Erin Carlson takes us on an intimate journey of Nora Ephron's three iconic films that ultimately paved the way for genuine and wholesome romantic comedies.
This book is basically split into 4 parts:
- Behind the scenes of 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗲𝘁 𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆
- Behind the scenes of 𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲
- Behind the scenes of 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗚𝗼𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗹
- And information on Nora's life sprinkled in between
This book reads like a really long magazine article versus novel which was a nice change of pace.
Carlson digs deep into these three wholly romantic movies and sheds light on the messiness and dysfunction of Hollywood while acknowledging the intelligence of Nora Ephron herself (hello feminism).
It was so interesting to see Carlson illustrate how Ephron's characters truly paved the way for other romantic comedy female characters like Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw.
If you are a fan of these movies, you should definitely pick up this book! Be warned now, you will want Tom Hanks to be your new bestie by the end of the book.
Journalist Erin Carlson takes us on an intimate journey of Nora Ephron's three iconic films that ultimately paved the way for genuine and wholesome romantic comedies.
This book is basically split into 4 parts:
- Behind the scenes of 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗲𝘁 𝗦𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆
- Behind the scenes of 𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲
- Behind the scenes of 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗚𝗼𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗹
- And information on Nora's life sprinkled in between
This book reads like a really long magazine article versus novel which was a nice change of pace.
Carlson digs deep into these three wholly romantic movies and sheds light on the messiness and dysfunction of Hollywood while acknowledging the intelligence of Nora Ephron herself (hello feminism).
It was so interesting to see Carlson illustrate how Ephron's characters truly paved the way for other romantic comedy female characters like Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw.
If you are a fan of these movies, you should definitely pick up this book! Be warned now, you will want Tom Hanks to be your new bestie by the end of the book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 426 reviews