Living with the Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me about Happiness, Gratitude, and Focus

by Jesse Itzler

Equal parts memoir and road map to living a less stressful and more vibrant life, bestselling author Jesse Itzler offers an illuminating, entertaining, and unexpected trip for anyone looking to feel calmer and more controlled in our crazy, hectic world.

Entrepreneur, endurance athlete, and father of four Jesse Itzler only knows one Full Blast. But when he felt like the world around him was getting too hectic, he didn't take a vacation or get a massage. Instead, Jesse moved into a monastery for a self-imposed time-out. In Living with the Monks , the follow-up to his New York Times bestselling Living with a SEAL , Jesse takes us on a spiritual journey like no other.
Having only been exposed to monasteries on TV, Jesse arrives at the New Skete religious community in the isolated mountains of upstate New York with a shaved head and a suitcase filled with bananas. To his surprise, New Skete monks have most of their hair. They're Russian Orthodox, not Buddhist, and they're also world-renowned German shepherd breeders and authors of dog-training books that have sold in the millions.

As Jesse struggles to fit in amongst the odd but lovable monks, self-doubt begins to beat like a tribal drum. Questioning his motivation to embark on this adventure and missing his family (and phone), Jesse struggles to balance his desire for inner peace with his need to check Twitter. But in the end, Jesse discovers the undeniable power of the monks and their wisdom, and the very real benefits of taking a well-deserved break as a means of self-preservation in our fast-paced world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Memoir, Personal Development, Audiobook, Biography, Health

304 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 2018

About the author

JESSE ITZLER only eats fruit 'til noon, loves Run-D.M.C., and enjoys living life "out of the box." In fact, he doesn't even have a box. The author of the New York Times bestseller, Living with a Seal, cofounded Marquis Jet, the world's largest private jet card company which he and his partner sold to Berkshire Hathaway/NetJets. Jesse then partnered with Zico coconut water, which he and his partner sold to The Coca-Cola Company.

He's a former rapper on MTV and wrote and performed the NBA's Emmy Award-winning "I Love This Game" music campaign and the popular New York Knicks anthem "Go NY Go." When he's not running ultra-marathons, eating vegan food or being a dad to his four kids, Jesse can be found at the NBA's Atlanta Hawks games, where he's an owner of the team. He is married to Spanx founder Sara Blakely.

Reviews

[Holly McIntyre · Rating 2 out of 5]

If spirituality is important to you, if you appreciate well-crafted writing, if you have studied and sought to implement spiritual practices in your life, this book is NOT for you. The author presents some good and useful insights gleaned during his sojourn with the dog-training monks of New Skete (conveniently presented in bold print so you don’t miss them), but the overall tone is one of frat-boy buffoonery —“hey, look at me I act really dumb, but I can swear and make fun of myself!” The only audience to whom this might appeal are male adolescents. Serious readers need not bother.

[Andrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

10% insight, 90% self-promotion. living with a seal was new and creative. This one read much like he was searching for a second book to write. If you are looking for a fun, live vicariously through an authors embellished stories and recreated (ie edited) dialogue then you will like this book.

As someone who has practiced daily meditation for 7-8 years and participated in 10 day silent retreats, I feel like he did the genre a disservice. His “journey” is akin to living with Amish who have cable and internet. At one point he was offering business advice to the monastery. I am pretty sure that defeats the purpose of attending.

Overall I found this book pretty lame with the takeaways accumulating to about 2 pages of content

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was SO excited to read this book. 1. I'm a big fan of Jesse, 2. I've done the winter hike up Mt Washington and had heard it was the start of the book, and 3. I trained my dog using a dog training book by the Monks of New Skete and think they are awesome! It was the trifecta! Unfortunately, I have to be honest I thought this book was just ok. First, the good stuff - Jesse is such a likeable interesting guy, that you want to hear what he has to say. He has an easy flow in his writing style and it was a quick read. He is always looking for ways to self improve and challenge himself and I think that is really cool and admirable. I also am a big fan of quotes and he had some great ones at the start of every chapter. There were some good tidbits in the book that I liked. My biggest challenge with this book is that it really seemed forced. While his living with a seal seemed like something he truly did with the purest of intentions, this book seemed like he only went there to write a book and despite everything that was said in the book to counter that, it still felt like that to me. And all the talk in the book about how he was going to write the book that I was reading, was just odd to me and seemed like fluff. All that being said, I would still buy the next book from Jesse if he wrote another one, if that tells you anything.

[Trina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Great topic for a book. Poor execution. The fact that the author tells the reader up front that he has no idea what he is going to write about was a big tip-off. Most of the book was about his past book about living with a Navy Seal. I didn't read it but I feel like I have since this book was really about further promoting that one. I thought he would have called the whole stint off when he learned the Monks weren't Buddhist but, then again, he had to write a book about something. Plus, the excessive cursing was so out of place in this book. If the author gained an ounce of humility from living with the monks, I would have given 2 stars.

*I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachael Marsceau]

Waaaaay too much language for my liking. Pretty sure I can find other books on the topic that would suit me better.

[Ronan Mason · Rating 1 out of 5]

Like most people I loved Living with a NAVY Seal. And whilst I didn't expect this to top it, I also didn't expect to end up despising its author Jesse Itzler. What you quickly realise with this book is that without SEAL, you're reading a book about a loud annoying American guy. A guy who uses the word 'monktastic' and thinks doing the dishes is a race. A guy who tries to school monks on how to be better entrepreneurs, because he can't sit still. I actually think he has ADHD. And whilst his achievements in life are in no doubt amazing, I just don't want to read about them... In a book where insights are placed in bold and italics just in case we miss the pearls of wisdom he is kindly blessing upon us.

[Micah Grant · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like his surprise when he arrived at the monastery, this book was not what I had hoped for. For a book about living with monks, there was a lot of unnecessary profanity. I wasn't very impressed with the writing style or the content overall. It seemed like the book was forced and overfilled with lots of stories from his past that he interjected to make the book longer, including a few stories at the end (one that was a repeat), that were mostly gratuitous.

If you could sift through all of that, there were a few things that stood out, like being present for what you're doing at the moment you're doing it, and doing the best job you can. "Remember tomorrow" was also a good mantra to help you across the finish line by focusing on how you will feel tomorrow when you can say you accomplished that goal. (These nuggets were the only thing that saved it from a single star.)

[Ambrose Miles · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not a book on spirituality nor is a book about the monks of New Skete. It's a memoir and it says as much on the dust jacket above the bar code. A memoir, though short on memory, it is pure Jesse Itzler. Sure, what he says in the book and what the pictures show don't exactly see eye to eye. Anyone who has stayed at the monastery knows there are no stained glass windows in either church and visitor rooms are not 6x8. Just look at the photo of his room. However it is a fun book if you don't take it too seriously.
Jesse and I have two things in common, we have both climbed Mt. Washington and spent time living with the monks. We part company on the numbers. I climbed Mt. Washington when I was 12 and have been a monk atNew Skete for 18 years.

[Inhabiting Books · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stopped reading at 47%. I felt like my brain cells were dying.

[Mediaman · Rating 1 out of 5]

The writer needed a 2nd book to write, so out of nowhere he books two weeks at a monastery--supposedly without knowing anything about the place ahead of time. So this multi-millionaire, married to one of the most successful women in business, is trying to make us believe he just at the last minute dropped his responsibilities for his four kids, booked a place for 2 weeks, and did no research? Either he's lying or incredibly dumb.

He gets there and claims he is upset to see a Christian cross--he grew up with Jews and has Buddhist leanings, and is offended to be hanging out with Catholic monks! Again, he claims he had no idea a monastery in American would be Catholic! More evidence that he's either stupid or faking it.

The guy claims to be a good salesman but I'm not buying what he's selling. It's all too packaged and comes across as fake. He also has ADHD, jumping from being with the monks to his early 20s to his writing NBA music and so much more. What is the point? That he learned peace from the monks? Doesn't sound like it--if anything he's more addicted to adventure after he leaves.

Oh, sure, there are highlighted quotes in each chapter that are supposed to make us feel like we're reading something of substance, but he could have just put together a list of "top 30 things I learned from my time with monks" and posted it online. That would have saved us the trouble of wading through this poorly written and hyperactive text.

It all smacks of an A.J. Jacobs gimmick where you try something for a certain period of time and supposedly learn from it. But the whole thing lacks any credibility, and is written in a ridiculous format where he is trying to sell his book rep on his story idea. She should have passed.

[Hugo's Mom · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved Living with a Seal so I was really looking forward to this book, but honestly Living with Monks felt like a disjointed attempt at profundity that failed miserably and was more a vehicle for the author's self promotion about his awesomeness and fearless approach to life rather than anything inspiring or original. I also found the cut and paste sections (and there are several) from Living with Seal, to be a bit unnecessary for such a brief book.

So if you are considering it, just know, it's no Living with a Seal. And if you are looking for insight into monastic life and wisdom, you'd probably do better to look it up on Wikipedia, and end up with as much or more insight for free.

[Kathy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another mistaken choice this month. Dear NY family and friends, Have you ever heard of New Skete Monasteries in Cambridge, NY with dog raising monks and cheesecake baking nuns? Visit them if you are in the area, but don't read about it in this book. Itzler and his wife are apparently famous entrepreneurs with lots of money and a nice family, but he has a filthy mouth and mostly told stories about himself, not the monks. I stopped reading twice but it's a short book and I thought the swearing would be short-lived so I finished it. I think he might have said something good at the end, so I'll give it 1 star.

[Elyse · Rating 1 out of 5]

Whole lot of filler and whole lot of nothing and whole lot of Jesse's ignorance. I hated that he didn't do his research on the monks of New Skete and then proceeded to be surprised by everything they did. If you are going to immerse yourself in someone else's way of living, DO YOUR RESEARCH. Oh and it was VERY repetitive so that he could make it longer. He even went to his book publisher and told her he didn't think it had enough substance and wasn't long enough. And it's true. I did not care for this book at all. And maybe his voice wasn't as annoying in the audio of Living with a SEAL but dammnnnnn it was annoying in this one. And his son's name is Laser. Dude, grow up. And get over yourself. It's just another book where Jesse is patting himself on the back. It's not insightful at all.

[Angela Dows · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parts of this book had lots of inspiration and meaning for me.

Remember Tomorrow... I love that. How will you feel tomorrow about the choices you make today.
(That is going to stick with me)
Another quote that really made me think is: “The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find.” -unknown

I love it when books can inspire me as well as really make me think !

[Honoree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly enjoyed this book! Had many takeaways I will include in my life and work. I'll be reading the SEAL book next! Well done, highly recommend.

[Deacon Tom (Feeling Better) · Rating 1 out of 5]

A waste of time

[Chloe Spingler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great as an audiobook, read by Jesse himself. Joel and I enjoyed as an easy and inspiring road trip read.

[Wesley Policky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal book! Great insight with a great comedic flare. "Remember Tomorrow" is a great lesson as you think about making decisions each day. Basically, think about the consequences of your actions before you take action.

Thanks for writing - just fantastic!

[Randal White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't put it down! The author is a great storyteller, and pulls you into his world easily. In this book, he goes to upstate New York to live in a monastery, in order to "unplug" and find some peace in his life.
The author writes with a great deal of humor, yet manages to describe his discoveries quite well. He finds several lessons that he can apply to his life (and yours), and that you do not have to go live in a monastery to enact them into your own life.
I burned through this book fast, as I found it to be very interesting. I surprised myself, taking notes throughout the book with things that I want to try myself.

[Haf · Rating 2 out of 5]

Did not this rate this book highly at all, he spends too much time talking about his own adventures! The story of the monks, however, is quite interesting, but he doesn’t go into detail about their lives or what even led them to become monks.
Still, nothing insightful or any serious words of wisdom in this book.
It could have been a good book, but seems like he just slapped together some of his old stories, added a couple of stories about some monks, then added some throw away lines at the end.
Recommended for teenagers.

[Denise · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reads like a failed experiment. I felt like the author accepted an advance for the idea, then hit the writing wall yet still had to come up with something so he pushed through. It was a good idea but probably ends up coming across like something he did to be able to tell entraining stories at parties.

[Gagan Mani · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let me break it to you - this book is about Jesse's experience with Christian Monks and NOT Buddhist Monks. If you are expecting to learn Dalai Lama's way of living then you can save some time by not reading this book.

I did not find those 15 days author spent with Christian Monks in New Skate very challenging and I blame my wrong expectations from this book. Right way to read this book is to not expect any breakthrough out of Monk's life style which would flip your life upside down. During his journey in monastery, no specific directions were given to author (by Monks) which would completely change his life style. This book is basically about spending time "mono-tasking" without interruption of electronic devices.

My key take aways:
- Mono-tasking is important. Quality over quantity. One step at a time.
- Utilize every moment. Cut down time you spend with deceives such as TV, Video Game, Phone etc.
- Keep building new skills and get really good at it. You do not need an MBA to start a business.
- If you are good at something, write a book about it.

With all due respect, I do not think that writing 15 days of experience in a monastery is worth a book. Author has stretched many scenes to fit into a chapter. On a side note, no read is a bad read. So if you really want to experience something serene, go for it.

[Joe Noto · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first exposure to Jesse was at a business conference. He was the guest speaker. His speech wowed me. We got a copy of his first book and after his speech, I waited in line to.get his signature and shook his hand. He has led a fascinating life and continues to add to it. I loved his first book. It was perfect. This one is good, but not on the same level. I felt like most of it was telling the same life stories from his first book or maybe some were from his speech I saw, but it was a lot the same stuff. I was very interested in a monk experience that you would traditionally expect, but this was not exactly that...no spoilers. Lastly, this had a lot of non monk living content before and after. I was left wanting a bit more. It still was enjoyable to read, and Jesse's happy personality shines through his writing again. Just not as interesting, original, or content-rich as Living With A SEAL.

[Mehrzad · Rating 3 out of 5]

I knew before starting this audiobook that 1. The author is a little funny, 2. I should not expect anything from the book.

The author is type of person who prefers to be exposed to life experiences and relies mostly on his gut feelings. He's a successful entrepreneur and businessman. That's completely opposite of my character and I usually enjoy a lot of these authors. But to be honest, it felt like he was screaming "look at me, look what I'm doing" to the whole world. He brags about his "life resume", talk about his "remember tomorrow" motto and many more things. I'm don't want to judge his character or writes about some of my opposite ideas. Let's talk about the book itself.

If I haven't had the aforementioned mindset before starting this book and compare the title of the book to it's content, it would have been a ⭐ review, but I had, and because of that I enjoyed the book more that I expected. ⭐⭐+½⭐ for this one.

[Ross · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 - 3.5 stars. This book is a combination of memoir and self-help/spirituality/good health guide. I read it as part of the Timberland Library - Olympia Branch 2023 Adult Winter Reading Challenge. The book’s Dewey Decimal number in the 200’s, which satisfied one of the 15 book challenges. Author Itzler, an adventurer, highly successful entrepreneur (in music, innovative private jet rentals, health drinks, and more!) and owner of the National Basketball Association Atlanta Hawks, impulsively sets out to live with a remote upstate New York monastery. Once there, he spends much of his time in silence and frequently alone and also carrying out sometimes mundane tasks needed to maintain the monks’ spiritual and communal obligations and continue the religious community’s world renown dog breeding, dog training, cheese making and spirituality workshop enterprises. The book is sprinkled with vignettes about Itzler’s life, family, often chaotic approach to business and living (at least, prior to living with the monks), as well as several inspirational quotes at the start of each chapter. This was a different type of read for me, but I enjoyed it!

[Mike Harrington · Rating 2 out of 5]

His book about living with a SEAL was funny, entertaining, detailed, and immersive. This book was none of those things. He expected to go someplace where silence would be the rule - and it turned out not to be the case - just as certain meals and times. He continued to use his cell phone for applications that did not require cell coverage. When he found cell coverage he used it. He had a daily newspaper brought in by the cook - even though that wasn’t how the monks live. He left for a day to return for a night simply to say he finished the full 2 weeks. He talked about rules he picked up on for life and then 2 pages later seems to throw most by the wayside when he declares that he simply needs to live more urgently. He never immersed himself, did it for a very short period of time, takes a break anyway, and then writes the book anyway. There really was no book to be written. And then at the end of the book you get a call to visit his web page where for (I think) about $500 you can get on zoom calls with him while he encourages you to live a life with more experiences. A great thing to do - but you don’t really need him for that - he didn’t really even take up this particular experience. I added a star because a) his high energy is always apparent and somewhat motivating and b) there really are some lessons from the monks that are worth remembering.

[Danielle Rylance · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. There were some key take away for me. Put the phone down, focus on task at hand (monotask) and do them with pride and well, remember tomorrow & how you will feel if you don’t do what you said you would do today, rate your happiness 1-10. Then list the reasons why it isn’t a ten & go after those things. Life is short, time is ticking, create a life resume. Be present. Another way he looks at time is Interesting. Say your parent is 78 and you think they have 10 years of life left. Think of how many times a year you see them and multiply by the years they have left. It make u prioritize seeing them.

[Robbert Siemers · Rating 3 out of 5]

The message in this book was powerful. It teaches lessons from a man living with monks for two weeks. It illustrates how busy our lives are and can learn a lot from just being present. The story can be a bit un-relatable at times. It’s easy for a multi-millionaire to take weeks off of work and go “reset” with the monks. Some of the analogies and stories that are told to portray this make it hard to relate to the author. It almost seemed like he was trying to extort these monks story for his own self good.

[Ann T]

Thank you Center Street and Netgalley for this ARC.

This was an easy to read account of unplugging from life and living in a monestary for a couple weeks.
There is quite a bit of language so if you are looking for a spiritual, more authentic account of life with the monks, this may not be the book for you.

However if you are looking for a very light take on one persons experience you may find this a fun approach.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you follow Jesse you’re probably familiar with most of the lessons in this book. However the lessons are all valuable and worth being reminded of frequently. Of course it was entertaining - not as funny as SEAL but still an enjoyable read. Probably a 4.5 for me.