Your Healing is Killing Me

by Virginia Grise

Your Healing is Killing Me is a performance manifesto based on lessons learned in San Antonio free health clinics and New York acupuncture schools; from the treatments and consejos of curanderas, abortion doctors, Marxist artists, community health workers, and bourgie dermatologists. One artist’s reflections on living with post-traumatic stress disorder, ansia, and eczema in the new age of trigger warnings, the master cleanse, and crowd-funded self-care.

Capitalism is toxic but the Revolution is not in your body butter.

Genres: Nonfiction, Plays, Memoir, Poetry, Queer, Drama, Latinx

104 pages, Paperback

First published October 5, 2017

About the author

From panzas to prisons, from street theatre to large-scale multimedia performances, from princess to chafa – Virginia Grise writes plays that are set in bars without windows, barrio rooftops, and lesbian bedrooms. Her play blu was the winner of the 2010 Yale Drama Series Award and was recently published by Yale University Press. Her other published work includes The Panza Monologues co-written with Irma Mayorga (University of Texas Press) and an edited volume of Zapatista communiqués titled Conversations with Don Durito (Autonomedia Press).

Virginia is a Time Warner Fellow Alum at the Women's Project Lab, a recipient of the Whiting Writers' Award, the Princess Grace Award in Theatre Directing, the Playwrights’ Center’s Jerome Fellowship, the Loft Literary Center’s Spoken Word Fellowship and Pregones Theatre’s Asuncion Award for Queer Playwriting. Her work has been produced, commissioned and/or developed at the Alliance Theatre, Bihl Haus Arts, Company of Angels, Cornerstone Theatre, Highways Performance Space, New York Theatre Workshop, Playwright’s Center, Pregones Theatre, REDCAT, Victory Gardens and Yale Repertory Theatre. She has performed both nationally and internationally at venues including the Jose Marti Catedra in Havana, Cuba and the University of Butare in Rwanda, Africa.

As a curator, artist and activist she has facilitated organizing efforts among women, immigrant, Chicano, working class and queer youth. Virginia has taught writing for performance at the university level, as a public school teacher, in community centers and in the juvenile correction system. She holds an MFA in Writing for Performance from the California Institute of the Arts and currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Reviews

[Abigail Titus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super engaging, thought provoking, incisive and beautiful. Kind of like long form poetry. Made me think a lot about health care and how it is tied to systems of power in this country. A quick initial read but something I can tell I will come back to - it's layered and full of meaning and I'm sure there's stuff in there that I missed.

[Tyler Crumrine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I genuinely can't imagine a more timely and vital play to be publishing in today's climate than Virginia Grise's Your Healing Is Killing Me. A queer, Chicana, one-woman show that's equal parts memoir & manifesto, Grise evangelizes for a politic of collective self-defense over individualized self-care while bearing her soul in the process. I'm beyond proud to be helping distribute this text, and so grateful for the opportunity. I'm also obviously biased, though, so here's what other people are saying about Virginia's work:

"With humor, gravity, and hard-won insight, Virginia Grise delivers the dazzling but bittersweet dispatches of a journey through the rocky landscapes of healthcare and self-care—the folly and wisdom it takes to arrive at the body's best spiritual medicine."

—Rigoberto González, author of Unpeopled Eden

"Virginia breaks the heart open with the poetic force of this work. Ceremoniously / transgressively she calls out the Truth—the Ancestors know that we are all in need of healing, so they've prayed all that we need inside of our blood and bones. This book is the topography of that."

—Sharon Bridgforth, performing artist and author of love conjure/blues

"In Your Healing Is Killing Me, Virginia Grise weaves the fabric of her life as an artist with threads from Chairman Mao's 4 Minute Physical Fitness Plan, traditional healing rituals, ancient recipes for the heart and skin, and memories emerging from past suppression—both personal and colonial. This Texicana priestess-poet heals herself and us with these alchemical deconstructions of the pain that comes from picking at the scars of human survival. One remedy: read this book. Just remember to breathe while you do so."

—Migdalia Cruz, author of El Grito del Bronx & Other Plays

[Ailey | Bisexual Bookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world where the pursuit of healing often mirrors the oppressive systems we seek to dismantle, Virginia Grise’s “Your Healing Is Killing Me” stands as a revolutionary guide for navigating the complexities of survival in our capitalistic world.

Grise’s words cut through the noise with an honesty that is as unsettling as it is liberating. Through a blend of poetry & prose, she illuminates narratives of resistance & radical self-love, inviting readers to unlearn & reclaim alongside her.

At its core, this book challenges the notion of healing as an individual pursuit divorced from the collective struggle for liberation. Grise unapologetically confronts how mainstream narratives of self-care & wellness perpetuate oppression, particularly for marginalized communities. She lays bare the violence inherent in demands for resilience in the face of systemic injustice, offering a radical reimagination of what it means to heal in a world that profits from our pain.

Intersectionality, especially in relation to queerness, is central to Grise’s exploration. She deftly deconstructs the myth of “healing” as a linear, one-size-fits-all process, acknowledging how identity shapes our experiences of trauma & resilience. Through her lens, queerness emerges not as an individual identity, but as a revolutionary praxis—a refusal to conform to systems of normativity that seek to erase & oppress.

Similarly, Grise interrogates the notion of abolition not only as the dismantling of physical prisons but as a radical reimagining of our relationship to power. She challenges readers to envision a world beyond carceral logic, where justice is not retributive but transformative—a world in which healing is not a solitary act but a collective endeavor rooted in love & solidarity.

Grise’s book is not an easy read, nor is it meant to be. In a landscape defined by empty promises of healing & wellness, this book offers a radical alternative—a vision of healing that is political, deeply interconnected, & unapologetically queer. For those seeking a roadmap to revolution—one that embraces complexity & honors the messy, beautiful work of liberation—look no further than “Your Healing Is Killing Me.”

[Anny · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Seated between a junkie and a hooker, the two women look at me and say:

What happened to you mami? You look awful.
You know it's bad when the junkies and the hookers think you look awful.

What's wrong with you?
I don't know I respond and start to cry underneath my huge sunglasses.
I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Nobody seems to."
ーVirginia Grise, Your Healing is Killing Me

I die. I'm going crazy for this book. Is that possible? Virginia Grise is incredible. Your Healing is Killing Me is phenomenal. It's a performance art with moving words. It's wit and brilliant and full of truth, bitterness, zest, punching, kicking, wisdom, humor, and a whole lotta gold and fire.

When art and literature unite, it transform the perception. I highlighted a bunch of gut wrenching lines and wish I could share them all but this book is a piece of art. It's nice to look at the art in a specific area and say this is beautiful but what makes art beautiful is all the elements combine together and so this book is art as a whole. "Your Healing is Killing Me is a manifesto for bodies in struggle, under attack, and the targets of structural violence." said the synopsis. But this book gives me more than it promises. I learned much more about PTSD. It gives a lot of answers by asking more questions. It challenged me to rethink about feminism, race, gender, government, political prisoners, Latin America, American Mexican community, peace, freedom, healthcare, self-care and the duty of being a responsible human. My favorite stories are probably the one about abortion, eczema, and the black market med in America. The way Grise articulates each scene with her writing style put me in awe. It precise and grip yet such powerful messages. I literally going crazy about it, obviously, and still in the side effect after consuming it. Virginia Grise, a queer Chicana theater artist, is such a mind blowing discovery of gem for me. And yes, we need to breathe.

[Abdullah T · Rating 5 out of 5]

i wouldnt call it a book, its like a zine or what it self proclaims itself as a manifesto. i enjoyed it a lot because i am in med school and a central theme of the book is we're putting bandaids on the symptoms but not fixing the actual system; she suffers from lupus/eczema alongside ptsd and as a patient of these conditions she talks about in a poetic way how survival is a fight; i love that she incorporates maos 4 min routine throughout the book, a nod to history and the power in movement; i enjoyed the little part at the end of the book where they talk about how movement is powerful even the act of sitting and questioning how sitting could be powerful; i also enjoy that this book connects phoenix and austin two cities that i have lived; this is a piece that you can read in less than an hour and its something that reminds you about the dangers of capitalism and how people are just surviving! i like the hodgepodge of poems, self biography, history, race theory, economic theory, and drawings; i enjoyed it

[Patty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw a reading of Your Healing is Killing Me, a solo play be Virginia Grise, performed by Brian Herrera at the Lewis Center for the Arts on Princeton's campus on Friday, October 8 at 8pm. The performance manifesto is about an the author, an artist and child of immigrant parents, and their experience as an artist in a highly capitalist U.S. context, fighting for freedom from white supremacy, gender and economic injustice, a poor healthcare system, etc. The solo play and the performance were both excellent.

[Ameera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredible book! I’m blown away by how short yet impactful it is. The writing is very well done and comes off as an entire conversation. I could imagine so many of the places Virginia mentions, beautifully painted with her words (and lack of, too). The book itself is well composed—loved the illustrations in between the writing. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything quite like it. My only qualm was that it’s too damn short!

[Aden · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always want to celebrate subversive and experimental work, even if it does not always work for me. As is the case with Grise's work, in which the structural risks I found compelling but the substance I found lacking. This work was originally meant to be a performance piece, so perhaps I would have responded to it better in that setting. A deeply personal work that I'm glad to have read.

[Kathryn Vercillo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Smart read that stimulated a lot of thoughts for me about the importance of self-care for individual healing vs how accepting responsibility for our own self-care might support and reinforce the systems causing the issues for us in the first place.

[angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

"are you a revolutionary?"

a reflective stroll through an artists thoughts about ptsd, eczema, capitalism, dietary cleanses and political prisoners, grounded in chairman mao's 4 minute physical fitness plan.

[Carolee Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this. Read this. Read this. Read this. Read this.

[sylas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I asked SPL to order this book, AND THEY DID. Thanks for everything, libe.

Book bingo hua-silo winter 2018: quickie

[mochi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it - short & sweet connecting everyday symptoms to systemic roots and causes. Relatable and powerful too.

[eli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you sista for calling out the white feminist! SO GOOD.

[olivia]

thoughts some parts were pretty funny but didn't love it

[annie sanchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

a very short read that read like a poem! grise discusses how fucked capitalism is within the health care system and about her own experience when she had an abortion and her relationship with food.

[kristen tan · Rating 3 out of 5]

read for thr101

[Ali Carpenter · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars

[Amber Olson · Rating 4 out of 5]

incredibly raw and real.. wow. read for a college level literature class.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a therapist practicing in the country I live in (and was born in), during this particular time in history, I'm glad I read this.

[Olivia Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

WGST 233 BOOK #4:

“Are you a revolutionary?”

Virginia Grise made me think a lot today and I’m grateful for that. This work means something.

[Laura Aranda · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the greatest pieces I've read, critical of both liberal and neoliberal rhetoric and situations that affect our bodily health, and Pan-Latino(ism) erasure. Right when I needed it, to motivate me to do better.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." –AL