Just Here for the Pain

The Underdogs #2

by K.A. Merikan

---. Whips and chains - not optional .---

Sid. Drummer for The Underdogs. Secretly yearning for pain and submission.
Asher. AKA Stan. Stalker. More than meets the eye.

It’s hard to find good hookups while on tour. Sid wants pain, humiliation, and the kind of sex that isn’t easy to get from one-night stands. So for now, he’s given up, settled for an online Dom to get his rocks off, and focused on his band instead. The Underdogs are getting increasingly popular, but there is one fan who has followed Sid since before he even joined the band, and he’s driving Sid mad! Rich, spoiled hipster brat looking for the bad boy experience. If he knew what Sid was really into, he would run for the hills.

Asher is convinced that Sid is The One, his One True Love, his endgame. Years ago, Asher lost his virginity to Sid, and from that moment on, he knew it was meant to be. They had a spark, that honest connection that couldn’t be faked. The members of Sid’s band call him a stalker, but all he wants is to offer Sid his love. When Sid finally chokes out what he wants, Asher is more than ready to unleash it on him.

But the last time Sid was out as gay and submissive, he got badly burnt when his former band kicked him out, and the doors to many opportunities slammed in his face.
Asher wants the whole world to know that he’s dating Sid. Problem is, Sid would much rather keep the relationship as pain-with-benefits.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS:
Themes: rock band, alternative lifestyles, tattoos, BDSM, commitment, family issues, coming out, life on tour, friends with benefits become something more, first love , stalking, fanboy
Genre: Contemporary M/M Rocker Romance
Heat level: Scorching hot, explicit BDSM scenes
Length: ~90,000 words (Can be read as standalone, HEA)

Genres: BDSM, M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, Music, LGBT, Musicians

338 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 4, 2018

About the author

(Goodreads profile run by Kat)

K. A. Merikan is a duo of queer writers who don’t believe in following the well-trodden path. In their books you can dip your toe into dangerous romance with mafiosi, outlaw bikers and bad boys, all from the safety of your sofa. They love the weird and wonderful, stepping out of the box, and bending stereotypes both in life and in fiction. Their stories don’t shy away from exploring the darker side of M/M romance, and feature a variety of anti-heroes, rebels, misfits, and underdogs who go against the grain.
Be prepared for shocking twists, dark humor, raw emotions, and sizzling hot scenes.

K.A. Merikan also writes steamy M/M romcoms as Devon Doe.

e-mail: kamerikan@gmail.com

More information about ongoing projects, works in progress and publishing at:
K.A. Merikan’s author page: http://kamerikan.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kamerikan

Reviews

[nark · Rating 4 out of 5]

…and the award for the sweetest stalker ever goes to…Asher!!! 🥰🥺😭

this book had NO right to be this good??!! i had no idea it would hit all the right spots for me like that.

i loved the mc Asher so much. sure, he might be a little stalkery, but he truly showed just vulnerable, how caring and sweet he actually is, behind his whole obsessive fan facade.

✨ get you a man who indulges all your kinks, but also takes cares of you, wants to spoil you, meets all your needs, buys you food and helps your band get famous. ✨

this book just hurt SO good!!! this actually got me right in the feels multiple times, because it had those delicious, painful vibes of unrequited love. the way Asher just wanted at least a crumb of Sid’s affection…🥺 couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy.

i had a hard time liking Sid at times, because of how he treated Asher and how he repeatedly hurt him without even realising it sometimes. however, the character growth was really good for both Asher and Sid and i was completely satisfied with the way they finally sorted out their problems at the end.

also, if you wanna read this purely for the kink, i definitely gotta say that the portrayal of BDSM was pretty damn good in this book. however, if you’re not into humiliation and pain - this book might not be for you.

[Judith · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5





Another brilliant read by The Merikans where,once again,the reader is pushed to the limits For someone who really isn't into BDSM this one totally worked for me and I think it's down to the characters of Sid and Asher.





Sid,drummer with The Underdogs likes,

-Pain,

-Humiliation,

-Submission,

-The harder he's pushed,the better,

-He has a difficult time finding someone who can give him the kink he craves.


Asher,

-Immaculately put together,

-A bit of a hipster,

-Rich/spoilt,

-And completely obsessed with Sid.


Sid and Asher have a history of sorts.Sid was Asher's first and ever since he's been chasing the dream of making Sid his.A figure of ridicule,at times,from the rest of the band due to his stalkerish behaviour he seems to brush off the jokes but there's only so much he can take when he begins to question his own actions and Sid's treatment of him.


Now,more than six years after their one time together are things about to get a bit too complicated for Sid when Asher offers him the one thing he craves?

This is pretty hardcore stuff BUT alongside the pain and degradation there's tenderness between them as well.


Buckle up and get ready for a wild,kinky ride as Sid and Asher both learn what they need from each other.


An Arc of Just Here For The Pain was kindly provided to DirtyBooksObsession in exchange for an honest review.

[Florence . · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 “Is he blackmailing you? I mean, sure, he’s hot…but is he?” stars

“I want to hurt, Ash. I want pain, handcuffs, gags, and electric shocks. I want to feel birch hitting my skin, and for my nipples to be pierced over and over again. I want to be called names and fucked so hard I can’t stop myself from crying.?”

I have already read this book about 6-7 months ago and I loved it, it left a super strong impact on me and I kept thinking about it over the months. And when I saw that the audiobook for this one was out, I just had to listen to it. Turns out that the audiobook was the best way to re-read this book because this book got even better for me the second time around. The audiobook fit the book perfectly and it was just everything I wanted it to be.

This book is the perfect book for me, I mean, heavy BDSM that is really descriptive and super hot and a stalker as a main character? Yes please give it to me now.

Brief summary
Asher has been stalking Sid and his band for years. They had a one night stand a couple of years ago and Asher has been been obsesaed with Sid ever since. Sid ends up telling Asher that he is a sub and he wants to be used and degraded and thats why he cannot be with Asher as Asher is vanilla. So Asher learns everything there it to know about being a dom and BDSM to prove to Sid that he is worthy of him and they fall in love during the process.

First, almost everything about this book just works for me, it’s the perfect combinaison of everything I love in these kind of books, it has the stalking from Asher, the fact that Asher keeps pushing and pushing to date Sid until Sid finally says yes, it’s shockingly super emotional and made me cry multiple times, both times I read it, and the sex scenes are some of the hotest sex scenes I have ever read, and I love how the BDSM is pretty heavy and explores a lot of themes we barely get in books, and if we do get them, they’re not explored as in depth as this book does. This book is just the perfect example of a book for me and I just love it.

Second, I absolutely adore Asher. Sure, he is a stalker who is obsessed with Sid and knew he wanted him and did everything to get him. And I loved reading his point of view. He was so delusional and saw him stalking Sid as just trying to prove his love to him. It was lovely to read about his thoughts and how delusional they were. But he is also so fucking sweet. His character has so many layers. I loved how sweet he was to Sid and he was devoted to doing everything to make sure that Sid is happy and has everything he wants in life. Asher literally researched BDSM and everything about it to give Sid everything he craves, and I just loved that so much. Asher is my favourite kind of doms in books. Asher is a dom but he’s flawed and had his problems but he always cares about his man and shows it. Sid wasn’t always the nicest to Asher and I loved how Asher wasn’t a push over and stood up to Sid when he treated Asher badly. But even if Asher was mad at Sid, he always took the time to care for Sid when Sid needed him and it was so sweet.

Third, the kink in this book is absolutely brillant. It’s some of the best kink I have ever read and I don’t say that lighty as I have read a shit load of kinky books. This has pain play, humiliation, bondage, a boat load of dirty talk, and also a lot of aftercare, which was what sealead this book for me. The sex scenes in this book were some of the hotest sex scenes I have ever read but also I just loved how much of a focus there was on aftercare and consent in a BDSM setting in this one, the mix of the two was just perfect to me.

Fourth, I just love the relationship in this book. These two just really compliment each other and they felt perfectly suited for each other. I loved how they were always there for each other and how they tried to make each other feel better. Sid thought that he was so broken and he didn’t know how to deal with the affection that Asher had to offer so he kept pushing Asher away. But Asher didn’t let himself be pushed away and kept showing Sid how wants he cares for him and that really worked for me.

Fifth, my one little complaint is that i’m not the biggest fan of some of Sid’s actions, I understood why he did them and they made sense in his character arc, but I just didn’t like them much and they made me ressent his character for a couple of chapters. Thankfully, Sid experienced a lot of character development and he fully redeemed himself by the end of the book, which I really appreciated. I truly liked how he groveled and worked on being better than he was at the start of the book, that really worked for me. Sid went from closed off and unwilling to trust to realizing how good Asher is for him and to trusting Asher. It was so sweet to see and so rewarding.

I loved this book the first time I read it and somehow it got even better on the re-read. This book is just of mix everything I have ever wanted in a book and I hold it very dear in my heart, it’s one I just keep thinking about over and over.

I received an ARC of this book, and this is my honest review.

[K.A. Merikan]

Sid and Stan's book.
Coming February 4th 2018!

[Virginia Cavanillas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always deeper than you are expecting when you read their blurbs. Always pure entertainment merged with meaning.
And that’s the hook these ladies hold on me: the mix between edgy, tender and depth. I love how they build their characters and plots. Be part of it, it is always a pleasure and this story was not different. I loved Manic Pixie Dream Boy but Just Here for the Pain filled me much more in other ways. Because it’s more profound, maybe? More intense undoubtedly and I’d dare to say more romantic too although it contains long sex scenes kinda brutal for an amateur not fan of bdsm, like me.

What is this one about?

7 years ago, Sid and Asher had a weekend hookup that ended up with Ash totally obsessed after The Underdogs drummer. They were 18 and 20 by then and as the cherry on top, it was Ash’s first time. Now, after years of Sid ignoring Asher’s stalker ass, they agree to share a pain-with-sex or viceversa experience that could benefit both of them (Sid’s needs and Ash’s infatuation) but would it be enough? I guess you know the answer already, right?

My thoughts?

Sid, the man under the red Mohawk. The vulnerable behind the gritty and striking alter ego. The dark guy fused with the colorful tattooed body. Spikes and studs dressing his inner self. His insecure, ashamed and lonely self. Amazing how his exterior hides such a different human being. His family background plays a highly important rol in the guy he is now and the walls he has built around himself. He is protected this way and he has his mechanism to free his spirit, to feel at ease.



Asher AKA Stan. The stalker, the rejected, the man in love. The apparently hipster guy with a dreamer heart. The awesome man who years before of actually being with the man of his dreams, wrote an hypothetical article talking about he and Sid as a couple... that moment? That little info about him? Got my heart singing and hurting for this always-smily stalker. The persistent, lonely and sweet man with a hidden dom tendency who fitted perfectly with our rebel drummer. The unexpected wrecking ball to Siddim’s walls and barriers. The more than dirty talker. And that was astonishing. Really, that change in him during sex made my eyes open so widely I got almost blind.



The whole book is a game of contrasts between how the characters look and how they are in the inside. The couple -not just them as individuals- is a rainbow of infinite colors. Both so different at first sight but so looking for the same needs. There’s a perfect union between two apparently different men. Grown in very different families, beliefs and backgrounds but with those differences driving both to the same place. A spot full of freedom and trust.

The only thing that didn’t work for me to the fullest was the bdsm theme. It’s not my kink and I knew it before starting this book (but I started it because I wanted to. I even needed to) so it’s my fault, and my fault only. Some scenes were too much for me BUT I must confess that a lot of Asher’s dirty words did weird things inside me. So yes, I’ve found out that even if bdsm is not my thing, some level of humiliation seems to turn me on. Thanks book for that (it’s not an ironic statement, I’m meaning it)



My favorite thing in Just Here for the Pain was the drama-rejection going on from the beginning. The way is treated is totally my cuppa and I truly enjoyed it. The evolution in the relationship and the feels makes the depth in the denial and/or rejection bigger and it worked so good for me. And what made it better was that the little and delicious angst was surrounded by the rest of The Underdogs (hell yes I’m a fan even if I have no idea how they sound). It’s been a pleasure meeting them again and I’ll be waiting the next gig like the groupie I am: Dawn drive that bus to mama and bring that kinda Lenny Kravitz with you (yes, Mage, I’m talking about you directly for my dirty mind)

******An advanced reading copy of this book was generously provided to me by the authors. Thank you so much, ladies.******

Reviews for Book Lovers

[Meags · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

I delayed reading this sequel to Manic Pixie Dream Boy because I knew the themes here were ones I generally avoid/dislike. Where Manic Pixie was colourful, energetic, and fun, Just Here for the Pain was darker, grittier and definitely kinkier, what with the main characters, Sid and Asher, engaging in some fairly heavy BDSM scenes throughout the story. But after putting my big girl pants on and finally diving in, I’m now convinced that K.A. Merikan can probably make me enjoy any (and all) of the themes I usually wouldn’t like – it’s witchcraft, or raw talent, either way I’m not complaining.

Sid, the bad boy drummer for the rising band The Underdogs, secretly craves pain and humiliation. As a person who is increasingly in the public eye, Sid hasn’t had much success finding a sexual partner who matches his masochistic needs. But when he shares an intense encounter post-gig with his once upon a time one-night-stand, Ash, Sid realises that he may have misjudged his long-time stalker - a man who might just be everything Sid craves and needs.

Ash fell hard and fast when he first met Sid half a decade ago, but for so long his constant overtures have never been well received, resulting in Sid and his bandmates thinking of Ash as more of a stalker and nuisance rather than the bands unpaid promotional whiz that he is. It’s largely due to Ash and his online blog that The Underdogs have garnered the recent attention that they have, and although the band recognize his usefulness, they still keep him at a distance and think of his with scorn.

When Ash learns of Sid’s sexual cravings, he acknowledges his own desires to dominate and degrade Sid in the bedroom, and the two finally come together for some mutually gratifying sexual experimentation.

Initially, Sid only plans to be involved with Ash for the remainder of The Underdogs current tour, but physical needs aside, Sid slowly realises that Ash is his perfect match, in and out of the kinky bedroom. He knows Ash wants everything with him, but Sid has a boatload of issues to unpack in order to get his shit together and be what Ash needs in return.

Even though some of the BDSM elements often left me uncomfortable – pain and humiliation will never be my thing – I really am impressive with the Merikan’s and their ability to make me love these characters, helping me accept and understand their kinks, all while keeping me 100% enraptured by their story.

On a side note, I absolutely loved the secondary character interactions in this one. I think Lolly and Dusk (MCs of Manic Pixie) came across even better as supportive characters, both providing this story with some much needed levity and fun. While sweet, sweet Dawn and responsible and caring Mage remain to be the characters that warm my heart the most and keep the story grounded – I seriously cannot wait to read their story!!!

Ultimately, I really liked this one and I’m officially kicking myself for taking to so long to read it – I guess the motivation of book three’s release spurred me into action, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

[Optimist ♰King's Wench♰ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I, too, just came for the pain and the pain did #TeamPain proud. Just look at this list!

• humiliation
• spanking/paddling
• CBT
• sensory deprivation
• electro-play
• force play
• bondage with suspension
• chastity
• cock choking/breath play/face fucking

In other words...



Aside from a few ill chosen words Asher took to his newly discovered dominant tendencies like a duck to water. Fancy that. AND they refrained from jumping into the deep end which I appreciated. Asher is diligent in his studies on how to fulfill Sid's needs and since he's charismatic as all get out he soon finds experienced dominants that are willing to give advice/mentor him.

Sid... *heavy sigh* I did not care for. Brattiness is one of the things I try to avoid in my kinky reads and though Sid doesn't consider himself a submissive, he sure acts like one and his attitude grated both inside and outside of the scenes. Though he does straighten up once he's gotten enough endorphins floating in his system. But I never took to him. He's a pill and why he's a pill wasn't explained well.

Most of the stuff outside of the scenes fell flat for me. From the beginning I felt like I got dropped into the middle of a story and had to scramble to figure out the backstory. I'm not sure if it was explained better in the first one or if it was deliberate but neither character was developed beyond a certain point and there's only so much I can just accept as 'because reasons'.

See the rest on the blog then later here.


A copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

[.Lili. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I requested Just Here for the Pain (The Underdogs #2) by K.A. Merikan before the blurb was added. I loved the first book Manic Pixie Boy and knew I wanted to continue with the series. Then, I read the blurb and considered canceling the ARC request. BDSM and I don't always mix, but I figured sometimes it's good to be pushed out of comforts zones. In the end, it just all worked.

I loved the juxtaposition of the characters at first appearance. Sid is the guy with the mohawk who comes across as hardcore and gritty. He enjoys/needs pain and humiliation. Asher is the rich spoiled hipster who comes across as well put together. At first sight, they seem like opposites but in the end are each other's perfect match.

I loved the conflict of the story and was impressed how KA Merikan developed their relationship. The dynamics between even if not my usual thing - pushed the right buttons. I LOVED THESE TWO TOGETHER.

I'm happy that I took a chance and stepped outside my comfort zone. I originally rated this 4 stars, but as I wrote the review I got excited all over again- raised to 4.5 Stars!!

[Cadiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five humongous floggers and clamps and humiliating stars, all of them!

This book is epic! I didn't connect so much with book one in this series (Dusk & Lolly) but this one, OMG it just ticked every single one of the boxes I didn't even know I needed ticking until I read it.

Fair warning, this WILL not be for everyone. It's a love story but it's very definitely not a traditional romance, it's dark, it's deliciously twisted, it's powerful, cleansing and - at times - cringe inducing.

Sid and Asher AKA Stan the stalker, were everything I didn't know I'd wanted in an alternative to all the sugar and sweet of a traditional narrative. Sid needed the pain, he needed to feel used and abused and for Asher, more than six years of constant rejection from the one man he wanted to be perfect for, had stored up a whole load of emotions just waiting to pour out while he marked Sid up.

This book doesn't pull punches, if you've (generic) got a tender stomach or any kind of BDSM aversion, stay away from it because it is brutal and honest in a way that makes your skin prickle and there's times when you will gasp and possibly not quite get what's going on in Sid's head.

This book is dramatic, there's all sorts of stuff going on with the band, with aspects of Sid's past, with hints of what's to come with Mage and Dawn, and it's just plain brilliant.

Kat and Agnes Merikan Copper (The Copper Horse: Fear (Zombie Gentlemen) and his creepy freaky gentlemen zombies aside) can do no wrong in my eyes!

#ARC kindly received from the authors in return for an honest and unbiased review

[Ele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh we got the point.

WARNING: This review needs to be heavily edited before being posted on Amazon.

Ok friends, you really need to heed the warnings for this one. If you expect sweet and fluffy you need to look elsewhere. Because here lie floggers, gags, straightjackets (holy shit!) and an honest-to-god cattle-shocking rod !!!!!! If humiliation is your kink, then this book is for you.

Me before Asher's first scene as a dom: "Aww...Look at this cute little stalker. He's actually researching BDSM technics to make Sid happy...He's never going to make it, though."

Also me after Asher's first scene as a dom: "OMFH...WTAF....STFUPSJFHDUFHVJDCDK...!!!!!! Did he just....He said what? OMG!!!"

I admit it. I didn't have faith in Asher's ability to provide Sid with what he needed. I fully expected to cringe and roll my eyes at what I was expecting to be the most awkward BDSM scenes in history. Joke's on me! And you. And everyone who thought that Asher can't be a natural, hot ass bossy/dominant/psycho motherf@cker.

Admittedly, as far as BDSM goes I don't really care about floggers or pain or humiliation. But what really got me here, what really make my pulse go nuts was when Asher, always in tune with Sid's needs, improvised during the scenes. You won't believe the stuff that came out of his mouth or what he can do with a fucking music magazine! And I loved that at some point it was not only Sid's needs as a sub, but also Asher's feelings as a human being.

I loved Manic Pixie Dream Boy but I think that this second installment's characters had more depth. We get to know about Sid's past as a member of a cult, and Asher growing up alone after his family's fatal accident.

I love the sense of family and camaraderie among the band members and everyone who finds their way into this tight little group of misfits. Now I want Mage and Dawn's story even more than before.

Special mention to Dusk and Mage's arrest scene.

"Our cult is better than yours!"

[Iman (hiatus) · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

This stalker x rockstar plot keeps lingering around nothing without any main focus on the storyline. Most part of this book did not work for me. Their sex wasn’t at all appealing so I skipped it. The writing couldn’t hold my attention and their chemistry was simply lacking of connection. I also feel the angst within the plot seemed more like a chaotic compilation than a well-crafted storyline, leaving me feel unsettled. I don’t get why some things happen, and it all feels like they are having the same argument every time.

[River · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Underdogs are back and now with the story of grumpy Sid and Stalker Stan. But of course that's only the surface, both these characters are so much more.
Sid is the dummer of the Underdogs, he's a badass that deep inside only wants some to be in control.
Asher (Stan) is a lost boy, when he lost everything he attached to the first person that gave him something good, that's why he follows Sid everywhere even if people mock him, or even Sid is mean to him, they don't really get whats between them.

When Asher realizes there's something he can give Sid than nobody else can, he jumps into the opotunity to show Sid that he is everthyng he needs. they can be perfect together, Sid just to give him a chance.
But whats gonna happen after? is Sid going to learn to see the real Asher or is only going to see Stan?

Of course we get a climpse of Lolly and Dusk that are back at their antics. Dusk can be an ass but he is a great friend and even when he says dumb things you can see his heart is the right place. I really enjoyed the interactions between him and Sid.
Dawn and Mage are as usual a pleasure to read and I can't wait to read their story. There were a few other surprises in the story and I'm glad because these guys are a crazy family and It's great to see them not only with their love interests but just hanging out and being crazy.
One of the things I'm particularly liking about this series is how the stories are very different and the characters of course. Each has their own voice and don't get lost in the group.

always jump head first into anything K.A Merikan but in this particular case I was nervous because is definitely out of my comfort zone. Sid and Asher are not only into BDSM but Sid is painslut and I knew, I just knew kat and Agnes were going to go crazy with that, and the did and honestly it wasn't my thing but I appreciate the creativity behind it so much, because none of the sex scenes were things that I had read before so that freshness made me really enjoy it.

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5 stars*

Phew, that was not an easy read.

I really liked the scenario and the slow relationship development. Sid and Ash have history and both have their own issues.
But I am not going to beat about the bush: the BDSM is extreme. I have read BDSM before, but not this particular kind. There is a lot of humiliation and, in general, the sex scenes were brutal, harsh and cruel I particularly crinched at the kicking and smacking into the face .
It is the latter that did make me flinch. So if you’re not into BDSM, this is decidedly not for you or the faint- hearted. It certainly pushed my borders in a big way.
Of course this kind of sex is exactly what Sid craves, he really is the ultimate pain slut, and Ash is happy to meet his needs. It is part of who they are and how they work.

As for Sid and Ash and their relationship:
I enjoyed the development of it in most parts, but Sid turned 180 degrees about his rules of coming out at the end of the book too quickly. And Ash seemed to be way more giving and forgiving all along.

No doubt the authors have done a great job here, but I am not really sure I fully enjoyed it.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

1st read - 1/2018
2nd read - 6/2024

Even a stalker deserve his HEA and that's what you get in KA Merikan's world. Let me start off by saying this book is freaking intense for a BDSM theme story. Is something more from the usual whipping, bondage and props, there was more pain and humiliation. I won't describe myself as fan of BDSM, I won't actively seek out such books, but when one lay on my lap I will go with the flow and wing it.

Sid is the drummer with a Mohawk and he had this stalker who I thought named Stan shadowing his every turn for 8 long years. Imagine that! That's what we call persistence, dedication and plan crazy. Sid is non too happy about Stan presence and wouldn't hold back from giving Stan the finger.

Asher aka Stan is the said stalker. I was intrigued with him since the beginning. He's not just your average psycho, this guy has the money and the brains and in previous book, he helped make The Underdogs famous. That count for something, right? I think Sid should have sex with him as a reward or something.

So one fine night, Sid decided enough is enough and he wanted to scare Asher off by rattling out his favorite kink. Sid loves pain and being humiliated and no one should want anything to do with his weirdness. But Asher manage to surprise the fuck out of him by agreeing to do everything he wish for. Aww.... isn't he a romantic.

For the first few chapters of the book, Asher sounds real creepy. He was so crazy about Sid that he would do anything in his power to have him and I was freaking turned on. I swooned over his all soul consuming love for Sid. But as the story move on, Asher sorta become more 'normal'. Maybe is character growth I assume? He seems to have less psychotic thoughts towards the second half of the book.

There are a couple of long BDSM scene, which was pretty complicated, as in sometime I have problem picturing their body postures in my head, especially when it involved props. A visual diagram would comes in handy. There was gagging, spanking and bondage involved. But the highlight was something more extreme and I will not spoil it. I actually like the part of Asher's verbal humiliation towards Sid. Wow! He just went on and on with all the verbal insults and I wish I had someone to let me insult them that way. That would have been a great stress reliever.

The presences of Sid's bandmates are always there at the background. The Underdogs is gaining popularity and everyone was as happy as can be, especially Dusk and his Lolly. These two are just too sweet for words. There was one shenanigan that involved Dusk and Mage in a rescue mission that was way too hilarious. Meanwhile, Dawn and Mage was having some kind of undercurrent of .... what? Can't wait to read how their relationship unfold as currently there is no way I can picture them boinking each other.

Besides the hardcore stuff, the relationship development was well played out too. Even though the drama towards the end might seems unwarranted (or warranted) on Asher's part, it did came with an awesome outburst from Sid to finally want to right the wrong. Just Here for the Pain is definitely a wild kinky ride that pushed all my hard limits away. It was definitely one of the most hardcore I've read before and I find myself panting all along with Sid and Asher. My reservation just vanish. Dayum. I wonder what do the authors still have up their sleeves.

[ivy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one moved slower than the first and was not all unicorns and rainbows, quite the opposite, this was much more intense and angsty, with more depth. The duality of Asher’s personality was really something special. Damn, I loved him. The feels really hit around the 40% mark.
This is not BDSM lite, so know that going in. Not something I would normally read but I am invested in these rockstars and it felt true to the story.

[Ky · Rating 5 out of 5]

The second book of "The Underdogs" series is even better, even hotter, even kinkier than the first!

We met Sid, the drummer of the band, and Asher, or Stan as everyone had dubbed him, in the first book and it was very much obvious that there was something between them under the whole famous-person - stalker relationship.

In Just Here for the Pain we learn about their past, what they have gone through in their lives, what they have suffered, how they met, what happened between them and why Asher is so obsessed with Sid that he is following him around in tours in an effort to win his attention and his affection.

The title couldn't be more perfect for the story. Their relationship starts off as exactly that for Sid. He needs something he can't get while on tour out of fear of being outed and Asher is able to give it to him, so they start a casual thing. It's the perfect solution for Sid to get the pain he craves from a person he somewhat trusts since he already knows Asher for many years while at the same time not run the danger if discovery or having his sexuality or kinky side outed.

It's obvious from the start that Asher wants more - and how couldn't he? He was trying to get Sid to notice him for years - but he is willing to play along for a little while if that meens that Sid lets him in even if it's just during their scenes.

Asher is determined to prove it to Sid that they belong together and Sid is determined to keep their connection strictly in the bedroom.

As the weeks pass they become closer and Sid's protective walls start to crumble. Even though the two of them were communicating and talking about their scenes, about what they wanted, what worked and what didn't, their ability to discuss things and be open and honest with one another started and ended there. Neither of them was comfortable discussing their feelings for the other, either out of fear that they wouldn't be reciprocated or out of discomfort with the sense of vulnerability that came with talking about feelings in general.

Inability to talk about how they felt aside, these two were the perfect match. They were so good together! I was sad when the story ended and yet at the same time I was happy with how we left Sid and Asher. I can't wait to see those two again in the third book!

Now, about that third book. It's going to be Mage and Dawn's story and even though there was something that hinted about a connection between them in the first book, here it's apparent that there is definitely something going on between them.

Dusk and Lolly of course make an appearance here. It was good to see them again, though Dusk irritated me at times.. I didn't remember him being so annoying in the first book but maybe that had something to do with the fact that now he is in couple heaven so he feels free to tease and torment his bandmates about their relationship troubles.

I still like Dusk and Lolly very much but Sid and Asher are by far my favorite couple. Even though Asher starts off as a stalker I liked him a lot from the beginning of the book and this held firmly till the end of it. Trust K.A. Merikan to make you like an unconventional character!

5 star read - highly recommended!




This review has been cross-posted on The Novel Approach Reviews.

*An ARC of this book was kindly provided to me by the authors via The Novel Approach Reviews in exchange for an honest review. *

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yup I freakin loved this book !!! Sid, Sid, Sid - the rockstar drummer with a really kinky side. He craved pain and looked for it in the wrong places, really wanting to find a Dom but not interfering with the band. Little did he know that someone was in front of him all along - Asher ! Asher decides to share a little of his domination and leaves Sid hanging, wondering WTF. This was a love story with the twists and turns of pain, angst and a nice hit of D&s. I adored these guys and stayed up ALL night reading this. Another great book from KA Merikan - loved every kinky hard core moment of it !

[Trio · Rating 5 out of 5]

The second book in K.A. Merikan’s The Underdog’s series, Just Here For the Pain is available in audio now, performed by Tyler Kent. I'm loving Mr. Kent narrating this series, and I hope there are plans for him to perform You. Forever. Always. soon! You could read this series as standalones, but I think they’re better read in order to get the full dynamic within the bandmates.

Fans of BDSM romances know, there are as many different kinds of kink as there are folks on the planet. It’s always interesting to me when authors find a unique way of looking at relationships, especially when it’s centered around sadism and masochism. There are usually reasons why characters gravitate towards giving and receiving pain, and we know going in that the Merikans are going to dream up some beauties.

I found Sid to be a fascinating character, and the more we learn of his backstory, the better it gets. He unravels slowly over the course of the story, and as he bares his soul, my heart breaks for him. Sid’s needs and reactions are complex, and his journey toward understanding himself is beautifully written.

Asher’s gradual awakening, as he delves into S&M play with Sid, is nicely straightforward. Of course he likes to give Sid what he needs. He’s been obsessed with him for years, and makes no bones about wanting to please Sid. The Merikans do a great job exploring how he’s feeling throughout Just Here for the Pain.

As with all their stories, K.A. Merikan blends in aspects of society, friendship, romance, and the human experience. IMHO, you can’t go wrong when you pick up any of their novels.

an audiobook copy of Just Here for the Pain was provided to me for the purpose of my honest review, all opinions are my own

[monika]

Sorry, DNF at 68% :(

[~Mindy Lynn~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars!

This was a great enemies to lovers book. It is very rare when I don't enjoy a book by these wonderful ladies. They always release books that make you just a bit uncomfortable or ones that you usually wouldn't read. The kink in this one was definitely not my cuppa, but because it's these ladies, I can't help but pick it up and give it a go. And like always I am glad I did because even though this kink wasn't my kind of good time, Sid and Asher together was hot. I think it helped that after such an intense scene they were so gentle and loving with each other.

Sid and Asher have history that we're not privy to in the previous book and I won't be spoiling it here. But it kind of makes their story from then to now even more special. There is definitely struggles to overcome by both. Sid has a hard time fitting what he wants in the bedroom with the man who is willing to give it to him. A man he's called a stalker and has nick named, Stan.
Asher isn't feeling to stable with where he stands with Sid. He's all in but feels Sid is just waiting to end things.

If you can handle the kink then I say give this one a chance. The men definitely make it worth it.

Happy reading dolls! xx

[Anja · Rating 4 out of 5]

K.A Merikan have done it again! Taken me so far out of my comfort zone and made me enjoy the experience!

In Just Here for the Pain we get Sid and Asher's aka Stan's story and boy is it a crazy ride! Sid is known as the bad guy, the unattainable one with a sharp mouth and Asher's been chasing him for years! Those two got history and Asher simply can't let it go so he stalks Sid and his band and even though the poor thing gets so many rebuffs, he doesn't lose hope. And yes, I realized I just called a bonafide stalker a "poor thing", that's what Kat and Agnes do to me! :D I just loved Asher so much! His unwavering love for Sid and his need for companionship found their way right into my heart and I couldn't help but root for him. He was so sweet and sure in his feelings for Sid. He just wanted to give him everything.

When Asher finally finds out what Sid really wants, which is pain, a lot of pain, he does everything he can to be the one to dole it out to Sid. It was so sweet how he researched everything properly so he wouldn't do anything wrong. That first scene together left me with my mouth open and my brain screaming wtf is just happening :D Asher was completely in his element. He turned from sweet, accommodating guy to a true Dom with a filthy filthy mouth. I have to admit I was a bit skeptical at first if Asher could really pull it off or if it was just something he did for Sid but he really convinced me that he wanted this as well. And thus their relationship began. Sid of course still in denial, but Asher's whips and floggers soon convince him otherwise.

Even though bdsm, especially this hardcore and humiliation kink is not really my thing, I could appreciate the scenes for what they were, which was a way for Sid and Asher to connect on a deeper level, for Sid to finally let go of everything and be vulnerable and his true self with Asher. That's one thing I love so much about K.A Merikan's stories and that is that the sex scenes always serve a purpose. I mean don't get me wrong, I like a good sex scene as much as the next girl but I like them even more when they convey something, when they have a purpose, else I tend to skip them. So I read every single word because it was beautiful to see how Sid changed and how his feelings developed, you could literally feel it and some of it was definitely hot. Bdsm lovers will gobble this up!

Sid and Asher have both had tough shit happen to them in their lives and even though they seem like complete opposites, they were actually the perfect pairing, both just wanting to be loved and have that special someone in their life. Their coming together was sweet and dirty and intense.

This second installment of the Underdogs series feels different than Manic Pixie Dream Boy, but in a good way! Its a crazy, kinda dark ride, but a very enjoyable one! Now I literally can't wait for Dawn and Mage's story! Weren't they just the sweetest together?!

ARC generously provided by authors in exchange for an honest review

[Ninni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hook up between "stalker" and rock star leading to BDSM turning real 🖤

[The Novel Approach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just Here for the Pain, the second book of The Underdogs series, is even better, even hotter, even kinkier than the first!

We met Sid, the drummer of the band, and Asher—or Stan as everyone had dubbed him—in the first book, and it was very much obvious that there was something between them under the whole famous-person/stalker relationship. In Just Here for the Pain, we learn about their pasts, what they have gone through in their lives, what they have suffered, how they met, what happened between them, and why Asher is so obsessed with Sid that he is following him around on tours in an effort to win his attention and his affection.

The title couldn’t be more perfect for the story. Their relationship starts off as exactly that for Sid. He needs something he can’t get while on tour, out of fear of being outed, and Asher is able to give it to him, so they start a casual thing. It’s the perfect solution for Sid to get the pain he craves from a person he somewhat trusts, since he’s already known Asher for many years, while at the same time not risk the danger of discovery or having his sexuality or kinky side outed.

It’s obvious from the start that Asher wants more—and, how couldn’t he? He was trying to get Sid to notice him for years, but he is willing to play along for a little while if that means that Sid lets him in, even if it’s just during their scenes. Asher is determined to prove it to Sid that they belong together, and Sid is determined to keep their connection strictly in the bedroom.

As the weeks pass they become closer, and Sid’s protective walls start to crumble. Even though the two of them were communicating and talking about their scenes, about what they wanted, what worked and what didn’t, their ability to discuss things and be open and honest with one another started and ended there. Neither of them was comfortable discussing their feelings for the other, either out of fear that they wouldn’t be reciprocated, or out of discomfort with the sense of vulnerability that came with talking about feelings in general. Inability to talk about how they felt aside, these two were the perfect match. They were so good together! I was sad when the story ended and yet, at the same time, I was happy with how we left Sid and Asher. I can’t wait to see those two again in the third book!

Now, about that third book. It’s going to be Mage and Dawn’s story, and even though there was something that hinted about a connection between them in the first book, here it’s apparent that there is definitely something going on between them.

Dusk and Lolly of course make an appearance here. It was good to see them again, though Dusk irritated me at times. I didn’t remember him being so annoying in the first book, but maybe that had something to do with the fact that now he is in couple-heaven, so he feels free to tease and torment his bandmates about their relationship troubles. I still like Dusk and Lolly very much, but Sid and Asher are by far my favorite couple. Even though Asher starts off as a stalker, I liked him a lot from the beginning of the book, and this held firmly till the end of it. Trust KA Merikan to make you like an unconventional character! 5 star read – highly recommended!

Reviewed by Ky for The Novel Approach

[Anna Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the first book of this series, we only superficially knew Sid and his stalker "stan" Asher, but this installment is dedicated entirely to them and we will learn more about the hard and reserved character of our dear drummer, Sid.
And if in part we have "hated" Asher for revealing to everyone the relationship of Dusk and Lolly without their permission and to be someone who does not give in easily when rejected, starting to know him in a deeper way we will be able to see that he has not bad intentions at all against Sid, but a strong attachment and an uncontrollable desire to belong again to a 'place' and to someone, the desire to take care of someone and the other way around.
Obviously it's not easy for them to express what they feel, being scared to suffer again and not knowing if they can trust the other to not break their heart in a thousand pieces – a fear influenced by the events of their pasts.
But only through risking in love and life can one truly achieve happiness, even if for some it is made of pain, fear and forced submission. It remains only to find the right person who will makes all this possible, and sometimes it can happen that this person is just the one you least expected.
The book, though full of strong and sensual tones, is also rich in extremely sweet and emotional moments, moments of personal development and acceptance of oneself that make the evolution of the characters extraordinary by sharing their difficult past and hopes for the future that awaits them. The book contains many scenes of BDSM sex that may not be for everyone, but if it's something you like (like I do for sure), you will not regret it at all.
And now we will just have to wait for Dawn & Mage's story.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well. Color me surprised because apparently I'm not as opposed as I thought about BDSM...
I guess it really just depends on the author... I just LOOOOVE these authors.
Yeah Sid & Asher really did it for me!
I have to say though. I was feeling uncertain about Asher at first. I just didn't get him. I didn't understood what was his deal.. But when I did... WOW!



So. Sid. Drummer of the Underdogs. He's shit at expressing his feelings but he has a lot of them and the only thing that works for him is the pain. He's a submissive and he needs a Dom.
Not that easy when you're on a tour and becoming a celebrity. Trust is hard to find...
Sid was... Not easy, that's for sure. I wanted to smack him behind the head more than once but then again... His story is sad and tough so... I really liked him anyway. He was so intense and adorable.

Asher... Like I said. I had some troubles with him at first. We met him in the first book. We didn't learn a lot except that he was some kind of stalker with an obsession with Sid. MAD obsession.
So. There he is. Still on the tour with the guys and still chasing Sid.
Still taking rejections after rejections.... But then one day, the secret is out. Sid tells him what he likes in the hope of making him run away... Well, NO SIR... We have a winner!



The first half of the book is really focusing on the sex and their scenes. Ash is still obsess and infatuated but the dynamic is still off between them.
Then the second half, they let go. They share their stories and talk and... Yeah that's where I completely fall for both of them...
They're just 2 lonely souls that found each other... In the most kinky kind of way...



So. Yeah. I won't become a BDSM fan all of the sudden but when it's done like that, I can totally go through my reluctance and enjoy the ride.
Well done ladies. WELL DONE!!!

I am totally ready for Dawn and Mage story. The waiting is killing me!!! I WANT IT!!

[K.S. Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a truly wild and crazy ride that managed to make even me uncomfortable (mostly in a good way). BDSM is not really my theme, but I still enjoyed the book very much. The characters, as they always are with these authors, are complicated and so very alive.

Sid is a rather rude, problematic, closed off man who is deeply lonely and who craves pain like other people do rest (or something similar to this). He understands how dangerous his craving is, so he tries to hook up with Doms online only.

Asher is a three-dimensional character who is hopelessly infatuated with Sid, has been for years, after several nights they spent together. He tries to be considerate by showering Sid with gifts and warmth, oblivious to the fact that Sid needs the opposite. When he learns about it, though... let's just say, he changes his strategy - drastically, and it works. Sid is floored because he's never seen this side of Asher - he's used to seeing him as annoying stalker who won't get a hint, and how he suddenly understands it is a man of his dreams - and more.

The relationship between these two is painful in several ways at once. Sid makes mistakes, and Asher cannot forever remain understanding, especially after the closeness they began to share.

There are many sex scenes that are truly wild and hot, and pretty violent - just like Sid likes it. I'm not a fan of BDSM, so I can never fully get it, but I can't not admit how beautiful and powerful those scenes were. I genuinely felt like I was there, witnessing all that.

A wonderful and unusual book, with the premise that is rarely seen and the characters who feel absolutely real.

*ARC was provided by the authors in exchange for honest review.

[Santy · Rating 4 out of 5]

BDSM is usually not my cuppa but once again, K.A Merikan managed to transform my apprehension over a subject into like. It was at that point that I truly realised what a powerhouse these two women are when it comes to "out there" genres.

I totally enjoyed the BDSM portion of this book. This is coming from someone(me) who tries to dodge any and all pain in any or all forms. So for me to actually then say that I liked the masochism in this book should be telling. I don't want to experience is myself mind you(shudders) and initially didn't understand how that could be a sexual need but as they say; "different strokes for different folks" and our MCs were definitely into it.

Also, Asher's development from "Stan" into someone the guys could actually hangout with was interesting to read. I agreed with him in that Sid should've done better when it came to their relationship outside the bedroom and was glad they managed to get their issues sorted out.

This was another winner for the writing duo and I will definitely continue the series.

[Latecia Jennings · Rating 4 out of 5]

**Audible Review**

After warnings about the content, I was ready to give it a try. Yeah it was extreme but it was interesting. Sid and Asher complex relationship played out real well from start to finish. I hated that Sid was so whiny but he was so confused at times unable to express himself fully but I was glad that Asher was willing to deal with his issues and be there for him. I didn't get to the first book in the series but was able to flow with the content without being lost...can be a standalone but Lolly and Dusk story seems to good to pass up and I might have to give it a shot. Now the narrator was real good. Voice the characters well...he brought out the entertainment. I loved the ending and glad the guys were able to have their HEA. NICE!

[Laura ~Passion flower · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just Here for the Pain (ARC) was graciously provided to me by Signal Boost Promotion for an honest review. I have voluntarily read this book and have provided my honest opinion.

  "An Emotionally Gripping and Powerful Read.."
 
     *Silently places head onto desk and quietly exhales*..  Profound and incredible amazement.  Shocked speechlessness.  Overflowing warmth..  I have just completed one of the most deeply pulling and most emotionally gripping new releases I have ever read.  I will say that it will be considered as part of the Top Books Read for 2018.  It is one of those books that took me twice as long to read because I truly needed to sit back and absorb exactly what I had, and was, reading at the time.  It was that good.  *Takes deep breath*
 
     I have just read Just Here for the Pain by K.A. Merikan, and, was blown away by this most recent read.  I rarely come across a book that has had such an affect on me, so, this was quite the experience.  This was a raw, emotionally-filled, angst-ridden, painfully-broken read.  But, there were also moments which were filled with a whole lot of love, tenderness, kindness, and emotional support as well.  This is one of those books that will stay in the far corners of my mind for a long time to come.  I loved it.
 
     This was quite the story.  This was a powerful story.  It is not a book for everyone.  It has severely major triggers that will make even the strongest flinch.  It will delicately dominate all of your emotions and eventually return them to you in time.  It will break your heart into a million little pieces and will also gingerly help you put things back together.  

     It will AMAZE you.  *Shakes head slowly*  Where in the world did this book come from?  And these authors??  *Bows down to them*  Once I got used to the intermittent style of descriptive writing, I saw it for what it was.  It was an unforgettable read.  As Just Here for the Pain is the second book in The Underdogs Series, and, I do thoroughly recommend reading the first book, Manic Pixie Dream Boy, as it does contain important moments which are relevant to the second, it's deeply hidden, and, beautifully written storyline is so stunning that I had to frequently stop and allow it to sink into my, at-the-time, sizzling brain.  The plot was nail-bitingly gripping, and, had me glued to my screen as I continued to read through the almost always present river of tears.  The main characters, Sid and Asher, are beautifully wonderful young men who are distinctly damaged, and as a result of a painful past, have cravings for love, tenderness, and for human companionship which can only be sated by the other as their only source of peace.  One could only imagine the affects of an emotionally painful past for them to be in such an emotional state years later.  I absolutely love, love, love them.  It was so immensely difficult to read about their past, and, just as difficult to read about how they were able to cope years later.  Even though both men have been able to reach a place where they would be able to drink in the love from their loved ones, it was a very difficult process and, just as difficult to read, as they are simply two men needing comfort and love, just like any one else.

     The secondary characters from this story, and this series, had me in the palm of their hands early on in the story, already eager for their own stories.  As this was the first book that I've read from the series, and, from these authors, I am eager for more.  

     While Just Here for the Pain was a lengthy read, and, I had frequently thought that the scenes were too much and too long, I had also hoped for more depth to the story, as a whole, as well as more development to the main characters as well.  As there additionally seems to be a need for some more editing, I think that that would have helped with some of the confusing parts that had existed for me as well. 

     Wow..*sitting quietly while thinking about the book* this has been quite the story.  Do I recommend it?  HELL YES!  Be ready though, it will run you though the gamut, but, it'll be worth it.  It will leave you speechless.  As it did me.  Oh yeah, this is one of my rare five-star reads..because as a whole..it deserves it.  *Drops mic* 

*star rating: 5 stars*

  
 

[Widya Vello · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 stars

It wasn't as good as the first book in series because Sid and Asher's drama were just bit too much for my liking. Maybe because they started the relationship with shaky ground. Sid used to see Asher as nothing more than creepy stalker, then suddenly found out that the guy he loathed actually could satisfy his every kinky desire and pushed all the right button inside him.
And Asher, used to all the humiliation and rejection from Sid for years. When Sid surrendered to him at last because he could be the type of Dom he wanted, Asher wanted more the real deal from him. The sex alone wouldn't satisfy him any longer.
So these two guys could be annoying with their own dilemma and dark past. Sid could be a jerk, with his bad temper and just lashed out to Asher. He just took Asher's attention for granted all those times. And Asher sometimes could be a pain in the ass too with his sulking and just shut everyone out when he got hurt.
But still I liked seeing Sid and Asher together. Both of the guys carried their own baggage and once they made up, the drama worthed it all. The sex is great although it was bit too intense, and humiliation kink is not my cup of tea.
I also loved the bonding between the other Underdog's member here. The part when Dusk and Mage helped Sid to saved his sister was hilarious. Dusk and Lolly here also being lovey dovey, it's really sweet to see them together again. I just couldn't wait to read the story about Mage and Dawn in 3rd book and bet I'd love it so.