Ich war die Gefangene meines Vaters

by Alice Lawrence

Born in the 1970's, Alice grew up in the impoverished backstreets of an industrial Northen town with her parents and siblings. During her teenage years and into her early twenties, she was repeatedly made pregnant by her father, primarily in an effort to secure extra state benefits. All bar one of her pregnancies failed, but her child never made it through it's first year. The death of her baby was the spur to Alice bringing her father and abuser to justice. Finally, she can tell her deeply moving story of recovery.

Genres: Nonfiction, Abuse, True Crime, Memoir

Hardcover

First published October 1, 2009

Reviews

[Sean Peters (A Good Thriller) · Rating 5 out of 5]

How is it so hard to write a review on a book you gives five stars, this book was amazing, and could not stop reading, all the way through this book I wanted to know how this was going to end.

This book is shocking, heartbreaking, moving, disturbing.

n April 2008, the world watched in horror as the news of Josef Fritzl made worldwide headlines. But for one British woman the story was not the stuff of unimaginable nightmares. Alice Lawrence knew all too well the torture suffered at the hands of a father whose depravity knew no bounds. She too was kept prisoner and repeatedly made pregnant - and it was only after the death of one of her babies that she finally found the courage to escape.

Born in 1970, Alice grew up in the impoverished backstreets of an industrial Northern town with her parents and seven brothers and sisters. She was first raped by her father when she was 11. From the age of 15, she was made pregnant six times by him in an effort to secure additional state benefits. All bar one of her pregnancies failed, but her daughter never made it through her first year.

The death of her baby was the spur to Alice bringing her father and abuser to justice. Finally, Alice can tell her deeply moving story of recovery from abuse.

All I can say is the emotions I felt reading this book, yes I was in tears, I was in shock, Sometimes I was shaking my head in disbelief, in horror and shock.

One main question is my head "How could someone be so cruel, so unspeakable and shockingly horrible, nasty character... A person you Love to HATE !!

Alice's life has gone through so many downs, not many ups, a human being should never go through what she has been through, I ask myself which is worse physical or mental cruelty, torture mentally her whole life

Plus the mother/wife had a whole life of sadness, misery and pain and had an enormously tough life.

How much suffering can the body take, how tough are we to survive so much, how to you leave the past behind, how to you lead a "normal" life... so many questions I have...

Shocking to read, heartbreaking, but you have to admire someone that finally makes it to the light at the end of a tunnel.... Makes it to the top of the mountain..

Never in our life's should we take something normal as so wonderful....

Buying your own underwear, buying, at 26 years old your first beefburger at a take away, drinking your first class of wine in a pub...

Five stars for a heartbreaking but heartwarming story that touched my heart !

[Sabrina Rutter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alice's ordeal is a hard one to take in. For starters it makes one wonder how could this go on until she was almost thirty. I don't know fear like the kind Alice describes, but I do know that if my mother was stupid enough to stay in such a situation and even be willing to raise children in that kind of environment, no matter how much I loved her I would have to leave her behind and look out for myself just as Alices brothers did.
Alice claims her mom's so innocent, and lived in so much fear of her husband that she couldn't break free from him. I'm not buying that for one minute. The woman had three children left in her life that were willing, and actually begging her to come and live with them yet she always refused. Alice might see her mother as just as much a victim as herself, but the truth of the matter is the woman made her choice, and that was to stay with her husband. There are several instances in book where her mother very clearly chose her husband over her children.
Another thing that stuck out to me was the fact that Alice didn't get upset enough to take action until she realised her father only wanted children with her to claim state benefits. I believe Alice had a very hard life, but for some reason some things in this story seem very off to me.

[Nic · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hard to rate these sort of books as it relates to someone’s pain and abuse.

However there were long sections that were repetitive and you constantly get angry that she never left/told anyone/helped her mum.

You can’t know what it’s like so you can’t judge.

[Goh Jiayin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my opinion, one of the worst crime ever is incest. How can a father sees his own child in a sexual manner? It is very wrong. This book enraged me in all sort of ways, especially how the father treated his own family. And similar situations are happening all around us. It takes great courage to speak about it, especially when you've been brain-washed all these years into thinking you are a good-for-nothing person. A good book to read if you are want to know how people like Alice get on with their day-to-day life and eventually daring to voice it out.

[Lisa-Jaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very sad story to read. I really felt for Alice and the horrors of her life. I'm surprised her brother Michael didnt recognise the signs of something being wrong especially as he had escaped from home when younger and knew what the father was like. Perhaps sometimes people don't want to hear the truth as its just too awful and painful.

[Patricia Kaniasty · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an amazing but disturbing story. It's sad to think this child had to endure this abuse for so very long. Why didn't anyone step in to help?! I don't understand. The rest of the family, meaning extended family, seems to be just as much to blame as anyone else. It's like, come on.......really? Nobody noticed anything? I find that very hard to believe.

[Emma Summers · Rating 4 out of 5]

So hard to score this book, how do you give stars to a story so harrowing?
How anyone can be so evil and treat people the way “the idiot” did is incomprehensible, add to that he behaved that way to his own children, the man must be pure evil.
People have commented that It’s hard to understand how anyone can stay in that situation for so long BUT never having lived and experienced her life no one can judge!

[Janet Angela beardsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read book!

A shocking autobiography, this woman must have such strength of character to have written this book! There was nothing held back, I also suffer from the ptsd that makes you relive the past during the day and have nightmares at night. My life wasn't the same story is thank god!!

[mrs ingrid smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

This was a very emotional and truthful account of someone's life. What she and her family suffered at the hands of their own father is just unimaginable. But a happy ending for Alice and her siblings.

[Ainah Ainah · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best book I've ever read. Plot is quite intriguing and the flow is emotional for me. Every woman's struggles with family problem really caught my interest when it comes to reading,and the first time I saw this book it really caught my attention.. thumbs up to the author...

[Dawn Baxter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good

When I started reading this book I wasn't really sure how I would feel about it but after reading it I found it very interesting and admirable what most of the people went through.

[Jane Woodcock · Rating 3 out of 5]

An emotional story. You really feel for these victims, and wonder what you would've done in their situation. I.ve read a lot of Torey Hayden books, and it reminded me a bit of them. Does make you wonder how NO-ONE suspected or did anything to help.

[Christopher Marron · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

This book was nail biting from start to finish. Very well written and an astounding heroine tell her story statr to finish. I'm so happy how your life has turned out for you xx

[Kishan Ram · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that it is about josef fritzl case but it is about the author experience in that moment in her life, it's a book about a pain which get by her father, some what distributing, but heart killing

[Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deeply disturbing book. A daughter betrayed and used as a breeding tool.

[Emma Beach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overwhelming

Very well written and I could not stop reading in the hope of a happy ending. Very sad in places but when isn't true story.

[kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking story

Couldn't put it down ,read in one sitting!! So pleased it had a happy ending!! XX XX XX XX XX

[Amy Hutchinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was tough to read but no different to other books like this I've read. A decent read

[Meej Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really sad but so inspirational and moving.

[Rebecca Fowkes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, hard to put down and couldn't believe what Alice went through. I had a few tears towards the end. Definitely recommend reading this.

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horrifying reality of domestic violence and incest.

[Paw · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tragic story of a girl/woman's journey in life
5 stars for finally being able to stand up for yourself and finding some peace

[Rebecca Haslam · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an avid reader of real life books, I walked into my local Waterstones and found this. There is something about reading stories of people who have overcome adversity and trauma to become the people they are today that is just inspiring.

I don't want to give too much away, as I believe this is a book you have to read for yourself, but if you can recall the horror of the Joseph Fritzl case, then this story is heart-breakingly similar. A young girl, kept as a virtual prisoner by her father, becomes a mum by him and it is only after a series of events occur that a change takes place.

This book is not for anyone looking for a book to make them smile, or laugh; anyone affected by the Fritzl case may not wish to read this, but I really think people should - it's as inspiring as it is traumatic..and it just goes to show that people, like you and I, can overcome the harshest of challenges and traumas.

[Alicia Leow · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is extremely inspiring. If I were in the position of Alice, I would never be able to be as optimistic as she is. Throughout the book, a small part of me wanted to believe that whatever that is happening in the book is purely fictional, but it isn't. It real and that's the terrifying part of it. To know that there are people like this living in world alongside us makes me wanna cry. Being controlled by someone for most of their lives, being constantly degraded and still have the urge to live on. Their will to live and survive is just motivating. So what if we have some troubles? Suck it up. If they can do it, why can't we?

[Brit]

I loved this book even though it was sad and in some parts depressing. It told me that after all she had been through she managed to find the courage to stick up for herself and bring her dad to justice. To be mentally and physically scarred by this is something out of this world, but to learn to live with it is another.

[Imani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a sad story when you can't have your own freedom at all. It was good for the author to tell the people how she's keep survive to have a normal life as other people. She keep trying to get over the dark side of her own. As a strong girl, she really want out from being tortured of her own father. This story was really touched.

[Hoda Marmar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one more brutal memoir that I absolutely loved because the girl is sooooooo strong, so inspiring, and so humane. She is someone who went through hell, but managed to get up and face life and face her abuser.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a good book but I do think the mother and Alice are partly to blame because they could of escaped at any time in their life but Alice waits until she's nearly in her 30s.I think some of the book is dramatised but still readable.
I cant give away to much or it will spoil the book.

[Theweebarrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

good book

[Cybill Tamayo · Rating 5 out of 5]

An eye opener to reality, this book will definitely break your heart. However, I admire Alice's strength and optimism to go on with life.