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Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
When the death of a relative, a friend, or a pet happens or is about to happen . . . how can we help a child to understand? Lifetimes is a moving book for children of all ages, even parents too. It lets us explain life and death in a sensitive, caring, beautiful way. Lifetimes tells us about beginnings. And about endings. And about living in between. With large, wonderful illustrations, it tells about plants. About animals. About people. It tells that dying is as much a part of living as being born. It helps us to remember. It helps us to understand. Lifetimes . . . a very special, very important book for you and your child. The book that explains€”beautifully€”that all living things have their own special Lifetimes.
40 pages, Library Binding
First published January 1, 1998
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews
May 20, 2011
A wonderful and important book. In a simple and matter-of-fact way, "Lifetimes" explains death in a way that children can understand. It is not particularly comforting. Its straightforward prose can even be unnerving... but it's not the book, it's the topic.
My daughter Donna was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 20 months. After two years of treatment, we decided to stop. The treatments were too damaging to her, and each one ended in another relapse. She lived on in wonderful shape: went to pre-school for the first time, watched her new baby brother grow, went to dance classes and read many, many books. One of these books was "Lifetimes". We read this a few times, and then, she started to ask some questions about it. Finally she asked about herself, and we talked about what was happening with her. Because of this book, we could talk about death with her. At the end, she knew she was dying and she was not afraid.
She was in hospice this whole time. After three months, the tumor limited what she could do and she felt sicker, needing more pain medication. Shortly after that, she spoke her last words. She spent a week in bed between her mother and me, sleeping, and then in the middle of the night, she died. This was a painful week but a peaceful one--because we'd had the chance to talk about death.
So I can't recommend this book enough. Hopefully your experience of "Lifetimes" will not be like mine. But we are all going to die, every one of us, and this book can help to understand that without fairy tales or hysteria.
My daughter Donna was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 20 months. After two years of treatment, we decided to stop. The treatments were too damaging to her, and each one ended in another relapse. She lived on in wonderful shape: went to pre-school for the first time, watched her new baby brother grow, went to dance classes and read many, many books. One of these books was "Lifetimes". We read this a few times, and then, she started to ask some questions about it. Finally she asked about herself, and we talked about what was happening with her. Because of this book, we could talk about death with her. At the end, she knew she was dying and she was not afraid.
She was in hospice this whole time. After three months, the tumor limited what she could do and she felt sicker, needing more pain medication. Shortly after that, she spoke her last words. She spent a week in bed between her mother and me, sleeping, and then in the middle of the night, she died. This was a painful week but a peaceful one--because we'd had the chance to talk about death.
So I can't recommend this book enough. Hopefully your experience of "Lifetimes" will not be like mine. But we are all going to die, every one of us, and this book can help to understand that without fairy tales or hysteria.
December 17, 2014
For what it's worth, I'm proud to be able to offer a short review of my late father's book, Lifetimes, which is still selling all around the world, many years after its initial publication. Lifetimes was written by my father to try and explain death and dying to young children in a clear, simple, non-sectarian way that they could understand and relate to. Accompanied by some excellent illustrations of plants, animals and people which also help convey the theme of the book, Lifetimes is a gentle, sensitively written book that both children and adults find comforting and reassuring when dealing with a difficult topic. Despite many subsequent imitations, I believe my father's book remains clearly the best, and I am sure he would also have been proud to see that it has helped so many people.
December 9, 2018
Matter-of-fact, yet gentle. This is an honest and realistic explanation that everything that lives, dies. It is straightforward without forgetting its audience. I also appreciated that this was an entirely secular take on death, focusing only on death and not the questions about what, if anything, happens afterward.
October 5, 2008
The concept of death is not generally discussed until there is an event and questions that follow. Once children have moved beyond self to include the awareness of another, they will benefit from the gentle scaffolding of the concept. Whether a ladybug, a ponderosa pine or family member, this book reveals through uncomplicated text and subdued illustrations that “each (living thing) has its own special lifetime.” Lifetimes provides the candid language for a time when words may be difficult to manage.
January 23, 2014
I used this book this week in my Kindergarten classroom to help them understand the loss of their classmate. It's a beautiful book for kids and adults alike! It really helped me explain when words failed.
February 28, 2019
یکی از بهترین کتاب هایی که در طول عمرم خواندم و جای تاسف داره که این کتاب دیگه چاپ نمیشه
September 8, 2015
A cancer widow of 2+ years with kids just a few years older than mine recommended the book "Lifetimes: The Beautiful way to explain death to children" by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen.
This uncluttered book explains death in a matter-of-fact tone. This book of few words contains lovely illustrations of dead and living wild animals.
This book does not touch on religion. Within its pages, I found no statements that could be offensive to anyone, regardless of their personal beliefs.
This book is a good way to explain why living things die to children in a simple manner. The notion that every living thing dies at the end of its lifetime is repeated often.
I read it to my boys. I think that they understood the book. I had a hard time keeping their attention through the entire book, but we might have made it to the end if we had read a condensed version of this book.
The authors' explanation of death includes:
"There is a beginning and an ending for everything that is alive. In between is living."
"All around us, everywhere, beginnings and endings are going on all the time."
"This is true for all living things. For plants. For people. For birds. For fish. For Trees. For animals. Even for the tiniest insect."
"Nothing that is alive goes on living forever. How long it lives depends upon what it is and what happens while it is living."
"Sometimes, living things become ill or they get hurt. Mostly, of course, they get better again, but there are times when they are so badly hurt or they are so ill that they die because they can no longer stay alive.
This can happen when they are young, or old, or anywhere in between."
"It may be sad, but it is the way of all things, and it is true for everything that is alive...."
"There are lots of living things in our world. Each one has its own special lifetime."
It goes on to list the typical lifetimes of various plants and animals. I was surprised to learn that butterflies only live for a few weeks. I also learned that large birds can live up to fifty years. The life span of a fish varies from one day to eighty years.
The book's authors conclude with "So, no matter how long they are, or how short, lifetimes are really all the same. They have beginnings, and endings, and there is living in between."
Thank you, Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen, for making it easier to comfort children with a gentle perspective about death.
This uncluttered book explains death in a matter-of-fact tone. This book of few words contains lovely illustrations of dead and living wild animals.
This book does not touch on religion. Within its pages, I found no statements that could be offensive to anyone, regardless of their personal beliefs.
This book is a good way to explain why living things die to children in a simple manner. The notion that every living thing dies at the end of its lifetime is repeated often.
I read it to my boys. I think that they understood the book. I had a hard time keeping their attention through the entire book, but we might have made it to the end if we had read a condensed version of this book.
The authors' explanation of death includes:
"There is a beginning and an ending for everything that is alive. In between is living."
"All around us, everywhere, beginnings and endings are going on all the time."
"This is true for all living things. For plants. For people. For birds. For fish. For Trees. For animals. Even for the tiniest insect."
"Nothing that is alive goes on living forever. How long it lives depends upon what it is and what happens while it is living."
"Sometimes, living things become ill or they get hurt. Mostly, of course, they get better again, but there are times when they are so badly hurt or they are so ill that they die because they can no longer stay alive.
This can happen when they are young, or old, or anywhere in between."
"It may be sad, but it is the way of all things, and it is true for everything that is alive...."
"There are lots of living things in our world. Each one has its own special lifetime."
It goes on to list the typical lifetimes of various plants and animals. I was surprised to learn that butterflies only live for a few weeks. I also learned that large birds can live up to fifty years. The life span of a fish varies from one day to eighty years.
The book's authors conclude with "So, no matter how long they are, or how short, lifetimes are really all the same. They have beginnings, and endings, and there is living in between."
Thank you, Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen, for making it easier to comfort children with a gentle perspective about death.
May 1, 2015
Lifetimes ~ A Beautiful Way to Explain Life and Death to Children is a book I have read and used many times with children. It helps young children to understand that when they step on a bug, they end a lifetime for the bug. Lifetimes is beautifully illustrated, gets the message across that we all have a beginning, middle and end to our life and that is the natural order of our world. The beautiful message in this simple book brings a peaceful feeling to anyone who reads or listens to it being read and if a recent death has taken place in a child's life it explains it in a way that even a child as young as three can understand and find comfort.
September 8, 2016
This book explains that every living thing has a lifetime. I'm not sure about some of the facts--some butterflies live longer than what was stated in the book. I was looking for something comforting. People are different from other living things. We can have memories. Even from a secular point of view that is some comfort. We have our memories of people we have loved. I don't know why that wasn't included.
December 8, 2016
This book explained to children what lifetimes are by showing a beginning, middle, and end. It talked about how plants, animals, fish, insects, birds, and humans all have a period of lifetime, then they die. And the amount of time they live differs depending on what they are.
This book was so straight forward and blunt it was funny in a bad way.
I would not keep this in my classroom for anything. I would not show this book to children.
This book was so straight forward and blunt it was funny in a bad way.
I would not keep this in my classroom for anything. I would not show this book to children.
April 11, 2011
When my wife died, this was one of the books that were recommended to me by the social services so I'll be able to explain her death more easily to our kids. It helped tremendously, it's written in a beautiful manner.
January 3, 2017
A really beautiful book and soothing way to explain death to a young (toddler aged) child. Highly recommend for the death of a pet or loved one, it's a difficult topic but this book has definitely helped.
March 1, 2020
When grieving a diagnosis that meant my mom's days were few, this book was a lovely, peaceful, straightforward look at life and death. It was comforting that it does not address theories of afterlife or contain platitudes. It simply talks about lifetimes, their beginnings, middles, and ends.
This was the only book about death I could read to my children without crying. It let us soak in the reality of life and death and find it lovely. Later we could talk about our hopes and fears, but during the book we felt the calm rythm of the mystery of life.
This was the only book about death I could read to my children without crying. It let us soak in the reality of life and death and find it lovely. Later we could talk about our hopes and fears, but during the book we felt the calm rythm of the mystery of life.
March 29, 2021
I can see how this book could be effective for an older child with a certain temperament and maturity, but it does not have the broad potential that I had hoped it would, given its reputation.
March 12, 2019
A beautiful children's book about the cycle of life for all living things-animals, plants, humans, bugs. The words and illustrations peacefully showed how birth, living, and death are the natural process of life. This book didn't focus on sadness or fear, rather it focused on how normal this process is and how every living thing will experience death at some point. Although death can be a sensitive and sometimes difficult subject to address, this book was very comforting. My 6-year-old daughter and I really enjoyed reading this together.
March 13, 2015
The book is full of beautiful illustrations and text like this:
"Butterflies live as butterflies for only a few weeks. Once they have dried their wings, they flutter and flit from leaf to flower. At first, they are bright and quick, but as time passes they begin to slow down, until finally they can go no further. They rest for a while, and then they die. That is the way butterflies live, and that is their lifetime."
"Birds grow up quite quickly too. It is often no more than a few months from the time they hatch until they are strong enough to fly and feed themselves. How long they live after that seems to depend on their size. Mostly, the bigger they are, the longer they will be alive. [...] But however long, it is their lifetme for each one."
The message, communicated as much through the graceful illustrations as through the words, is that the brevity of these creatures lives does not make them less beautiful or wonderous. Our lives are mostly longer than those of butterflies, shorter than those of trees, but no matter how long we live, we are also beautiful and fragile creatures... Each with our own story and each a part of a larger story, the story of generations of humanity and the vast diversity of life.
"Butterflies live as butterflies for only a few weeks. Once they have dried their wings, they flutter and flit from leaf to flower. At first, they are bright and quick, but as time passes they begin to slow down, until finally they can go no further. They rest for a while, and then they die. That is the way butterflies live, and that is their lifetime."
"Birds grow up quite quickly too. It is often no more than a few months from the time they hatch until they are strong enough to fly and feed themselves. How long they live after that seems to depend on their size. Mostly, the bigger they are, the longer they will be alive. [...] But however long, it is their lifetme for each one."
The message, communicated as much through the graceful illustrations as through the words, is that the brevity of these creatures lives does not make them less beautiful or wonderous. Our lives are mostly longer than those of butterflies, shorter than those of trees, but no matter how long we live, we are also beautiful and fragile creatures... Each with our own story and each a part of a larger story, the story of generations of humanity and the vast diversity of life.
February 11, 2017
This secular picture book explains death in a very straightforward, matter of fact way. It reads more like nonfiction, and it could be a good place to help start explaining death to little ones, especially if the child is very interested in facts or nonfiction.
It has a clear message about life and death, so there is no hidden message, which is helpful as many children won't understand suggestions and implications in the way they will understand straightforward statements.
I don't think it's the only book that you will want, and there are others that better explain the emotions of grief. However, if you want a book that primarily focuses on what death is, this could be helpful.
It has a clear message about life and death, so there is no hidden message, which is helpful as many children won't understand suggestions and implications in the way they will understand straightforward statements.
I don't think it's the only book that you will want, and there are others that better explain the emotions of grief. However, if you want a book that primarily focuses on what death is, this could be helpful.
November 29, 2017
This is a simple and straight forward explanation of the biological sequence of birth, life, and death for children with realistic illustrations from the animal and vegetable kingdoms. It explains that while an individual's lifetime may vary,
While I would personally use the adjective "realistic," rather than "beautiful," to describe this title, it is certainly not morbid or saccharine. Avoiding these extremes makes it a very valuable addition to children's literature.
That is how things are.
For plants.
For people.
For birds.
For fish.
For animals.
Even for the tiniest insects.
EVERYWHERE!
While I would personally use the adjective "realistic," rather than "beautiful," to describe this title, it is certainly not morbid or saccharine. Avoiding these extremes makes it a very valuable addition to children's literature.
July 19, 2010
I bought this to read with my 4 year old daughter, as she has started asking questions about death. I haven't actually brought myself to read it to her yet but I suppose that's what this book is trying to overcome, our fear of dying and our subsequent passing on of this fear to our children. It is very matter-of-fact, which I think is the best approach and is accompanied by appealing illustrations. I will be interested to see my daughter's reaction. Maybe she can teach me something about accepting the circle of life!!
April 30, 2015
This Goodreads listing is the one that uses the correct title (Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children). There is another Goodreads listing that uses the WRONG title.
Update: over time, this has become a very important book for my now 5 year old. So much so, that we have purchased the book.
Nice way to explain what a lifetime is. Not religious. I wish it held my 4 year old's interest a little more. He did, however, manage to listen until the end, and I think he absorbed the message it had to give.
Update: over time, this has become a very important book for my now 5 year old. So much so, that we have purchased the book.
Nice way to explain what a lifetime is. Not religious. I wish it held my 4 year old's interest a little more. He did, however, manage to listen until the end, and I think he absorbed the message it had to give.
January 11, 2014
With simple text and illustrations of nature, this book aims to normalize death by explaining it as a part of a given creature’s lifetime. Examples are given about plants, birds, fish, small mammals, and finally, humans. Throughout the book, the lifetime is explained as a beginning and an end, with living in the middle; it is established several times that this is true of all living things. Relating death as a natural occurrence does well to counteract the fear that is usually associated with dying by young children.
May 6, 2016
It's hard to think of a rating for this book. I think it's good for what it is intended for - it's not too sappy, it's not too blunt (but straightforward enough), it's clear, and it's been recommended by enough professionals that I assume it has worked well for kids in this situation before. Some of the line drawings (a dead bug, for instance) seemed a little strange - I mean, I guess that's the point, here's a bug that's alive, here's one that isn't, but still felt a little weird to me. Maybe it is helpful for kids? I don't know.
March 27, 2014
A great book about death and dying for young children (3 and up, approximately.) It shows how all living things have a beginning, an ending, and living in between. The repetitive text helps young children process the complex concept of life and death, and the illustrations are peaceful and interesting but not cutesy. I also love that the book discusses death without any references to religion or afterlife, so it is appropriate for families of any belief system.
May 28, 2014
I went searching for a book appropriate for my death-concerned/obsessed, autistic 8-year old, and this one is the best I've found so far. It's simple and elegant, matter-of-fact but gentle. It talks not just about people living and dying, but plants and animals and insects too. The illustrations are gorgeous. I can see how an older child might need something a little more substantial, but for small children (and my extremely-literal son), this is really well done book.
November 23, 2015
The title is pretty self-explanatory.
Using examples from nature (like ants, crabs, trees, butterflies, kookaburras and rabbits) this book explains that all living things are born, live for a lifetime, and die. Dying is as natural as living, but some things live longer than others. Sickness and old age are part of life, too. It is thoughtful and sincere. The language is repetitive and poetic. The illustrations are lovely, like prints that might be framed in a grandmother's kitchen.
Using examples from nature (like ants, crabs, trees, butterflies, kookaburras and rabbits) this book explains that all living things are born, live for a lifetime, and die. Dying is as natural as living, but some things live longer than others. Sickness and old age are part of life, too. It is thoughtful and sincere. The language is repetitive and poetic. The illustrations are lovely, like prints that might be framed in a grandmother's kitchen.
May 27, 2013
As much as I think the title is a little self-serving, I really do like this book. I first read the book to my son when he was three and he asks for it now at five whenever we hear about death or illness in the news or among our friend. It is simple, but effective at explaining the life cycles, including death.
October 1, 2017
My parents bought this book for me as a Christmas present in 1995. I had just turned 11 years old. I remember thinking it was a strange gift as nobody in our family was sick or about to die. However I still read and absorbed it's important message. I feel that this book is really the most beautiful and sensitive way to explain life and death to a child. No matter what age.
January 23, 2008
Picture books are for everyone, not just kids. This is a thoughtful and accurate way to explain life and death. It uses examples from nature to show different lengths of life and does a good job at normalizing death or the end of life.
May 11, 2011
This is a great book to help small children think about the cycle of life... especially if you have a little one that has already started to think about it (because of a loss of a loved one or a pet).
April 30, 2015
The title is listed wrong in this Goodreads listing. There is another listing on Goodreads with the correct title (Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children), but for some reason this incorrect listing has more ratings attached to it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 92 reviews