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Blood On My Typewriter
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemmingway I don’t lead the kind of life that should be written about. I’ve done terrible things and lived a hundred lives, running away from my problems. That defines me, I guess. An escapist. Maybe I’m just messed up. Whatever the case, this is my confession. These are my truths. I give to you my uncensored life- my heart on a platter. I have sat down at my typewriter. Watch the words form from the blood that pours forth. -R.J. Avenira
- GenresPoetry
166 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 31, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
October 2, 2022
Hm, how do I write this review without coming off as insensitive and ignorant when it comes to things such as mental health issues and addiction?
To put it mildly, if the author was a movie character, he'd be on the same board as Walter White and Brad Pitt's character from Fight Club, with a big "You missed the point by idolizing them" sign right above their photos.
The last thing I want to do is to appear as if I am making fun of things such as depression, addiction, being abandoned by a parent etc (while I do have experience with some of the topics explored here, it is only natural that they differ from the author's) but damn, in many of the poems, the author really doesn't come off as a sympathetic character.
On the one hand, that might have been intentional, but on the other hand, I am not so sure, because I don't think that he (hope I'm using the correct pronoun) has reached that level of self-awareness yet.
This becomes even more obvious with the references to Ernest Hemingway and his whole "F U" attitude towards everything, so, I'm sorry, but it's difficult to read this as anything different than "I am a brilliant misunderstood genius!"
I was also not a fan of how he was putting himself in situations that made him appear even more unlikeable, like for example, describing himself as being glad when his ex miscarried their baby (absolutely horrible) and him setting all his cash on fire (ah yes, the priviledged boy who is tired of having money to cover his needs, give me a break!) but was still trying to appeal to the reader's emotional side. No honey, if anything, I like you even less now.
Fan fact: After the stupid "I don't need money, it's a social construct, I set them all on fire" poems, near the end, there was a poem that basically said "I hope this does well because I am poor now." Oh boo-hoo, cry me a river.
Moving on from that, I regret to inform you that many of the poems here were merely thoughts (and very obvious ones at that) and quotes that would fit better under a pretty pic on Tumblr, with a couple of them being quite repetitive, like for example the ones talking about religion and the hypocrisy of the "puritans" or the ones about how one shouldn't change themselves to better fit with what society demands. You know we got it the first time, right?
Raw writting can be beautiful and powerful if handled correctly and when it hits all the right spots. And R.J. Avenira may actually have some talent, but this poetry collection is not it. The writing was both bland and pretentious, and the few poems that I liked get lost among the rest of the poems that I will remember, not because they provided beautiful imagery and provoked positive emotions, but because of the oppossite.
Better luck next time. Plus I really hope he gets to work on his issues as well as his writing.
If you made it this far, congratulations!
'Til next time, take care :) :) :)
To put it mildly, if the author was a movie character, he'd be on the same board as Walter White and Brad Pitt's character from Fight Club, with a big "You missed the point by idolizing them" sign right above their photos.
The last thing I want to do is to appear as if I am making fun of things such as depression, addiction, being abandoned by a parent etc (while I do have experience with some of the topics explored here, it is only natural that they differ from the author's) but damn, in many of the poems, the author really doesn't come off as a sympathetic character.
On the one hand, that might have been intentional, but on the other hand, I am not so sure, because I don't think that he (hope I'm using the correct pronoun) has reached that level of self-awareness yet.
This becomes even more obvious with the references to Ernest Hemingway and his whole "F U" attitude towards everything, so, I'm sorry, but it's difficult to read this as anything different than "I am a brilliant misunderstood genius!"
I was also not a fan of how he was putting himself in situations that made him appear even more unlikeable, like for example, describing himself as being glad when his ex miscarried their baby (absolutely horrible) and him setting all his cash on fire (ah yes, the priviledged boy who is tired of having money to cover his needs, give me a break!) but was still trying to appeal to the reader's emotional side. No honey, if anything, I like you even less now.
Fan fact: After the stupid "I don't need money, it's a social construct, I set them all on fire" poems, near the end, there was a poem that basically said "I hope this does well because I am poor now." Oh boo-hoo, cry me a river.
Moving on from that, I regret to inform you that many of the poems here were merely thoughts (and very obvious ones at that) and quotes that would fit better under a pretty pic on Tumblr, with a couple of them being quite repetitive, like for example the ones talking about religion and the hypocrisy of the "puritans" or the ones about how one shouldn't change themselves to better fit with what society demands. You know we got it the first time, right?
Raw writting can be beautiful and powerful if handled correctly and when it hits all the right spots. And R.J. Avenira may actually have some talent, but this poetry collection is not it. The writing was both bland and pretentious, and the few poems that I liked get lost among the rest of the poems that I will remember, not because they provided beautiful imagery and provoked positive emotions, but because of the oppossite.
Better luck next time. Plus I really hope he gets to work on his issues as well as his writing.
If you made it this far, congratulations!
'Til next time, take care :) :) :)
May 12, 2018
I don't really know what to say about this one, without being offensive. I just got the feeling that, behind these poems, lies a really arrogant person. And, maybe that's not the case, but some of these poems were truly disturbing and problematic to me. I'll leave those here for you to decide:
"Cruel Happiness"
I woke up
to the sound of her screaming
It was a miscarriage
As I held her
And comforted her
I secretly breathed
A sigh of relief
I looked out the window
At the sky full of stars
And thanked them for this luck
I vowed to leave
While I had the strength
"The Answer"
Remember
That death
Is not always
the enemy
It
Can be
The answer
"Ordinary"
I can’t tell you
What to be
All I can tell you
Is that the worst
Fucking thing
You could be
Is ordinary
"I’m a Cancer Anyway"
I almost wish
That I were diagnosed
With some terrible,
Incurable illness.
Then, I would feel
Some kind of purpose
To my life
Some kind of divine existence
To guide me
Away from this path
Of brokenness
"Cruel Happiness"
I woke up
to the sound of her screaming
It was a miscarriage
As I held her
And comforted her
I secretly breathed
A sigh of relief
I looked out the window
At the sky full of stars
And thanked them for this luck
I vowed to leave
While I had the strength
"The Answer"
Remember
That death
Is not always
the enemy
It
Can be
The answer
"Ordinary"
I can’t tell you
What to be
All I can tell you
Is that the worst
Fucking thing
You could be
Is ordinary
"I’m a Cancer Anyway"
I almost wish
That I were diagnosed
With some terrible,
Incurable illness.
Then, I would feel
Some kind of purpose
To my life
Some kind of divine existence
To guide me
Away from this path
Of brokenness
November 30, 2020
tw/cw: this review mentions some sensitive subjects that some may find uncomfortable, so please be careful and safe if you’re sensitive to certain heavy topics :)
I usually don’t write reviews on here but...yikes. First of all, there definitely should be a trigger warning for this book because it talks about some incredibly sensitive subjects, and I myself was starting to grow uncomfortable. I’m giving it two stars because it’s not the worst free Kindle Unlimited poetry book I’ve read, but I really didn’t enjoy it. I think the author considers themselves as a modern Hemingway (as the writing style is very similar to Hemingway’s, as well as the many references to and mentions of Hemingway in this book) and it came off as INCREDIBLY pretentious and arrogant. The author seemed hypocritical at some points and just downright wrong at others. With poems about “sometimes suicide is the answer”, and “I’m not trying to romanticize these awful things, but... (continues to romanticize drugs, abandoning your partner while they are having a miscarriage, self harm/suicide, etc.)”, and “money is just a *SOCIAL CONSTRUCT* to get you to obey and live your miserable life pretending you’re happy when you’re poor...(then two poems later): guys I hope this book does well so I can make money because...I’m poor :3”. Honestly, I will probably never read this author’s work again, and I apologize if this was a little too harsh, but WOW. I do not, and CANNOT, in good conscience, recommend this book to anyone.
I usually don’t write reviews on here but...yikes. First of all, there definitely should be a trigger warning for this book because it talks about some incredibly sensitive subjects, and I myself was starting to grow uncomfortable. I’m giving it two stars because it’s not the worst free Kindle Unlimited poetry book I’ve read, but I really didn’t enjoy it. I think the author considers themselves as a modern Hemingway (as the writing style is very similar to Hemingway’s, as well as the many references to and mentions of Hemingway in this book) and it came off as INCREDIBLY pretentious and arrogant. The author seemed hypocritical at some points and just downright wrong at others. With poems about “sometimes suicide is the answer”, and “I’m not trying to romanticize these awful things, but... (continues to romanticize drugs, abandoning your partner while they are having a miscarriage, self harm/suicide, etc.)”, and “money is just a *SOCIAL CONSTRUCT* to get you to obey and live your miserable life pretending you’re happy when you’re poor...(then two poems later): guys I hope this book does well so I can make money because...I’m poor :3”. Honestly, I will probably never read this author’s work again, and I apologize if this was a little too harsh, but WOW. I do not, and CANNOT, in good conscience, recommend this book to anyone.
January 17, 2019
How can you cast out your demons
When, in truth,
You’ll always be in love
To some degree
With how they make you feel?
This poetry collection was everything from raw to heartfelt to horrible and lovely all together. It's a collection about pain, and problems, and running away from them. It's about finding solace at the bottom of a bottle, when there's more alcohol than blood running in your veins, and your head is cloudy enough to stop you from thinking. It's all about escaping, one way or another. It's about escaping, and being trapped once again. It's so raw and terrible that it's undeniably true and so human.
You can run away
From your problems
From town to town
But what you’re really
Trying to escape
Is yourself
And that is why
You will never
Find happiness
In different places
This collection is about a man's life, his losses, his misgivings, his attempts to save himself, and the times he almost gave up. It's about finding yourself right when you were supposed to leave. It's about being scared enough to die and scared enough to live. It's about surviving, until you can finally live. It's about going on when you have nothing left.
I’d be lying
If I said
I won’t be looking
For pieces of you
In every lover
Who comes after
You
When, in truth,
You’ll always be in love
To some degree
With how they make you feel?
This poetry collection was everything from raw to heartfelt to horrible and lovely all together. It's a collection about pain, and problems, and running away from them. It's about finding solace at the bottom of a bottle, when there's more alcohol than blood running in your veins, and your head is cloudy enough to stop you from thinking. It's all about escaping, one way or another. It's about escaping, and being trapped once again. It's so raw and terrible that it's undeniably true and so human.
You can run away
From your problems
From town to town
But what you’re really
Trying to escape
Is yourself
And that is why
You will never
Find happiness
In different places
This collection is about a man's life, his losses, his misgivings, his attempts to save himself, and the times he almost gave up. It's about finding yourself right when you were supposed to leave. It's about being scared enough to die and scared enough to live. It's about surviving, until you can finally live. It's about going on when you have nothing left.
I’d be lying
If I said
I won’t be looking
For pieces of you
In every lover
Who comes after
You
September 3, 2021
Found his beauty in his madness
“I sat down
At my typewriter
And I’ve let
Every scar
Bleed again
And opened my heart
To the surgery
That is artistic expression”
Maybe this is not the best poetry of all time or something but, all the words written were genuine, real and raw.
“I want to live
I want to breathe
I want
To be
Free”
Being perfect is impossible and every soul is broken inside of that sugarcoated facade body with no permanent sign.
“Kindred Soul
Is there any kindred soul
In this whole damn universe
Who can understand me?
I feel as though
I am shouting into a void
With every word
No one cares
No one listens
It’s all darkness
And I am left here,
Broken .”
Really good realism.
“Look for the pure souls
Who never run out
Of kindness
For everyone
They deserve
The worl d”
“If your love
Comes with strings
I don’t want
Anything
To do with it
True love
Doesn’t come with strings
It comes with wing s”
“I sat down
At my typewriter
And I’ve let
Every scar
Bleed again
And opened my heart
To the surgery
That is artistic expression”
Maybe this is not the best poetry of all time or something but, all the words written were genuine, real and raw.
“I want to live
I want to breathe
I want
To be
Free”
Being perfect is impossible and every soul is broken inside of that sugarcoated facade body with no permanent sign.
“Kindred Soul
Is there any kindred soul
In this whole damn universe
Who can understand me?
I feel as though
I am shouting into a void
With every word
No one cares
No one listens
It’s all darkness
And I am left here,
Broken .”
Really good realism.
“Look for the pure souls
Who never run out
Of kindness
For everyone
They deserve
The worl d”
“If your love
Comes with strings
I don’t want
Anything
To do with it
True love
Doesn’t come with strings
It comes with wing s”
December 26, 2018
Honestly wasn’t a fan of this book at all. I read it because my friend has been asking for it for Christmas so I figured I’d give it a shot. I’m giving three stars because i believe the author conveyed exactly what he wished to convey, even if i personally didn’t like it. This book is the epitome of the popular poetry of today (angsty, “nobody knows me,” depressed, etc.). Not a badly written book. Extremely raw and open which I respect. If you like super angsty writing rather than feel-good books then this is probably for you.
December 29, 2022
full-circle
Heartbreaking and lovely all wrapped into one. The ending left me with a pain in my chest and I really enjoyed it. This is a poignant collection of poetry. Thank you. Keep sharing, R. J., I’ll keep reading 📖
xo,
Rach
Heartbreaking and lovely all wrapped into one. The ending left me with a pain in my chest and I really enjoyed it. This is a poignant collection of poetry. Thank you. Keep sharing, R. J., I’ll keep reading 📖
xo,
Rach
March 23, 2018
I loved this book. It's so raw. You can feel everything the author feels. It's very intense, but extremely amazing.
November 16, 2018
I have quite a few problems with this particular poetry collection. I've given it 2 stars because it was not the most horrendous novel I've ever read. However. I'll explain my problems with it in full, as writing one simple line cannot convey my feelings completely.
1. There should most definitely be a trigger warning at the beginning of this book. Self harm, suicide, alcoholism, sex, and drugs, are all topics thoroughly discussed throughout almost every poem. I am not triggered easily, and even I started to grow uncomfortable with it.
2. The author was a bit hypocritical. In one poem he would say that money is just a tool for the "powerful" to control you (Or something to that affect), and then a few poems later he'd express how he "kind of wanted this novel to bring him fortune". I didn't understand how his thought process changed in only two pages.
3. In one particular poem the author says that therapists are just trying to diagnose people with mental illnesses for money, and advises against them. I know that therapy is not for everyone. But a lot of people find solace in therapists. Therapists save the lives of many distressed people on a daily basis. I understand that the author has his own opinion. I just don't appreciate his belittlement.
4. And finally. The writing style was bland. I couldn't find a single thing that made it stand out from the rest. The author was blunt and to the point and didn't leave much room for expression. He would talk about a one night stand by simply saying, "We fucked. I woke up. She was gone." It was... unoriginal. Not exciting.
All in all, it was not the best. I will not be picking up any more by this author.
1. There should most definitely be a trigger warning at the beginning of this book. Self harm, suicide, alcoholism, sex, and drugs, are all topics thoroughly discussed throughout almost every poem. I am not triggered easily, and even I started to grow uncomfortable with it.
2. The author was a bit hypocritical. In one poem he would say that money is just a tool for the "powerful" to control you (Or something to that affect), and then a few poems later he'd express how he "kind of wanted this novel to bring him fortune". I didn't understand how his thought process changed in only two pages.
3. In one particular poem the author says that therapists are just trying to diagnose people with mental illnesses for money, and advises against them. I know that therapy is not for everyone. But a lot of people find solace in therapists. Therapists save the lives of many distressed people on a daily basis. I understand that the author has his own opinion. I just don't appreciate his belittlement.
4. And finally. The writing style was bland. I couldn't find a single thing that made it stand out from the rest. The author was blunt and to the point and didn't leave much room for expression. He would talk about a one night stand by simply saying, "We fucked. I woke up. She was gone." It was... unoriginal. Not exciting.
All in all, it was not the best. I will not be picking up any more by this author.
January 21, 2021
"Pull me out
From beneath the waves
Show me I'm worth
Being saved"
Even though there are similar themes present in this collection and other poetry books I have read in past years, it works. It works because it shows readers, especially young readers, that everyone has dark times, cruel thoughts, and self-hatred at times. Poetry is a way for the soul to escape, and even though this poet writes his own experiences, just like others, they are relatable. Sometimes his poetry dives quite dark and towards thoughts or actions that I wouldn't necessarily do, or advise others into doing, but it's harsh and gritty, and it's true to life for many individuals. Many/all individuals hide what's inside, the areas of them they don't want to show for fear of being judged or shamed, but when we have individuals who are willing to bear their true selves in the form of art, we can see just how similar we all are, and how free of guilt we should all feel.
From beneath the waves
Show me I'm worth
Being saved"
Even though there are similar themes present in this collection and other poetry books I have read in past years, it works. It works because it shows readers, especially young readers, that everyone has dark times, cruel thoughts, and self-hatred at times. Poetry is a way for the soul to escape, and even though this poet writes his own experiences, just like others, they are relatable. Sometimes his poetry dives quite dark and towards thoughts or actions that I wouldn't necessarily do, or advise others into doing, but it's harsh and gritty, and it's true to life for many individuals. Many/all individuals hide what's inside, the areas of them they don't want to show for fear of being judged or shamed, but when we have individuals who are willing to bear their true selves in the form of art, we can see just how similar we all are, and how free of guilt we should all feel.
January 20, 2023
This book has some excellent poems and quotes, but I also found many things wrong with it. I feel as though no one having suicidal thoughts should ever read this book because it has so many raw thoughts of the author who is suicidal. I feel like the book somewhat preached negative topics, which was odd to me. I understand that the author was showing the pain and bad thoughts that came alongside depression, but I think there should have been a prologue saying that someone shouldn't use this book for advice. I liked the book for some beautiful quotes, but other than that, it just seemed like an idolization of depression.
June 30, 2022
The pieces in this book are like beads and are connected in a single thread to tell you a story. Well, there's nothing new in this tale, but that is what the intention was, to highlight the "new normal" people has adopted, and call it casual. With this tale, poet helps us to foresee the reality behind it. Unlike the other book by the poet - "Beautiful Mistakes", poems in this one are not inspirational in nature, instead they are more on the darker side, puking everything out. They are just an honest revelation of what poet has gone through.
October 18, 2024
R.J’s poetry book is a short, powerful reminder about the importance of sobriety, love and respect, and instilling confidence into someone with kind words and support.
Best TWO quotes:
“ Be kindFor with these wordsWe bleedOut innermost painOnto the paper”
Excerpt From
Blood On My Typewriter
R.J. Avenira
This material may be protected by copyright.
“ If your loveComes with stringsI don’t wantAnythingTo do with it True loveDoesn’t come with stringsIt comes with wings”
Excerpt From
Blood On My Typewriter
R.J. Avenira
This material may be protected by copyright.
Best TWO quotes:
“ Be kindFor with these wordsWe bleedOut innermost painOnto the paper”
Excerpt From
Blood On My Typewriter
R.J. Avenira
This material may be protected by copyright.
“ If your loveComes with stringsI don’t wantAnythingTo do with it True loveDoesn’t come with stringsIt comes with wings”
Excerpt From
Blood On My Typewriter
R.J. Avenira
This material may be protected by copyright.
December 7, 2018
yet another extremely polarizing poetry collection- some poems were amazing and the other were just plain bad. the author is clearly very talented, his writing is emotional, powerful, raw and brutally honest. his biggest problem is that sometimes he goes overboard and his work starts to sound pretentious and overly flashy, which cheapens the reading experience.
all in all, an admirable first book. will be looking out for more of his content.
all in all, an admirable first book. will be looking out for more of his content.
August 12, 2019
Self indulgent
I loved the collection "beautiful mistakes," however, this collection feels deeply self indulgent. The self pity is off putting. The idea of feeling "without a purpose" is hugely self indulgent. In our world of chaos it is so easy to be of service to others and in that one can find a purpose.
I loved the collection "beautiful mistakes," however, this collection feels deeply self indulgent. The self pity is off putting. The idea of feeling "without a purpose" is hugely self indulgent. In our world of chaos it is so easy to be of service to others and in that one can find a purpose.
October 17, 2019
God Bless R.J.'s Typewriter
"I needed to bleed out everything I was so that I could become everything I needed to be" - blood on my typewriter.
I could emphasize with his depression, loss, addiction, desire for love and self-acceptance. Beautiful poems from an incredibly strong man.
"I needed to bleed out everything I was so that I could become everything I needed to be" - blood on my typewriter.
I could emphasize with his depression, loss, addiction, desire for love and self-acceptance. Beautiful poems from an incredibly strong man.
October 17, 2020
This book is a strong hit or miss.
For the first few chapters, I disliked the author strongly. The poems came off as arrogant, spiteful, and full of distaste- but admittedly, they got better.
Some of these poems are beautiful. Some of these poems are garbage. Some of them just need some work.
Chapter 7 was my favorite.
For the first few chapters, I disliked the author strongly. The poems came off as arrogant, spiteful, and full of distaste- but admittedly, they got better.
Some of these poems are beautiful. Some of these poems are garbage. Some of them just need some work.
Chapter 7 was my favorite.
April 18, 2018
Nice book with some heartfelt thoughts
I like the book as I felt connected to it. The thoughts are expressed beautifully in simple words. Felt nostalgic while going through the book.
I like the book as I felt connected to it. The thoughts are expressed beautifully in simple words. Felt nostalgic while going through the book.
November 28, 2018
Touching and meaning fuk
The author allows you to feel the pain of unexpected events. You find yourself living his life and hoping to relief. And yet, left with nothing but understanding who he was.
The author allows you to feel the pain of unexpected events. You find yourself living his life and hoping to relief. And yet, left with nothing but understanding who he was.
September 10, 2025
imagine having such unhinged thoughts as adding “don’t judge me, you’ll feel the same way.” No sir.
And big W for the girl who left him and got married, girlie missed a grenade not bullet. Good for her🙌🏻
And big W for the girl who left him and got married, girlie missed a grenade not bullet. Good for her🙌🏻
June 2, 2018
One word: Raw.
Overall it is a good book, with some dark parts.
Overall it is a good book, with some dark parts.
February 21, 2019
Amazing
I was a bit sceptical of the book but after a couple chapters I fell in love with it. It’s such a sad novel
I was a bit sceptical of the book but after a couple chapters I fell in love with it. It’s such a sad novel
January 21, 2020
Very soul touching
Loves this. Connected on all levels and definitely going in the favorites. Highly recommended. Wouldn’t change anything about it. Raw.
Loves this. Connected on all levels and definitely going in the favorites. Highly recommended. Wouldn’t change anything about it. Raw.
May 26, 2020
wow. just wow.
October 9, 2020
4/5 stars.
October 28, 2020
AMAzing and relatable
I love this book so much. This book was raw, honest, unique. The author has a one of a kind style. Highly recommend!
I love this book so much. This book was raw, honest, unique. The author has a one of a kind style. Highly recommend!
March 28, 2021
Rawness
the kind of poetry I yearn for!! So well done! I want to read more of your work! I liked your writing style a lot!
the kind of poetry I yearn for!! So well done! I want to read more of your work! I liked your writing style a lot!
November 17, 2022
People make stupid decisions. Reading this was one of mine’s.
June 2, 2023
hmmm .. I'm really not trying to be insensitive but I wouldn't recommend this . its not bad but not good either
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews