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The Worst Man on Mars

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Hero. Legend. Role model. He is none of those.

Flint Dugdale, blunt Yorkshireman and reality TV show winner, has used his large frame and ‘persuasive personality’ to take charge of Britain’s first mission to Mars.

Little does he know that the base – built by an advance party of incompetent robots – is not quite finished and has no food, water or doors. Worse, the ship’s scanners are picking up strange signals from the surface.

There is life down there. But will it be pleased to see him?


New cover edition of ISBN10: 1536930970

Paperback

Published September 1, 2016

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Mark Roman

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
Profile Image for Marcha Fox.
Author 20 books209 followers
January 13, 2018
This book strikes me as what would result if Monty Python had directed "The Martian"; picture Eric Idle playing Mark Watney. If you're not a fan of that particular brand of British humor, then this story's genius will undoubtedly escape you. I laughed myself silly several times at the absolutely ludicrous characters, situations, and scenes. You wouldn't expect that such a silly, outrageous premise would be brilliant, but it is. As someone who worked for NASA for over twenty years, I think it takes considerable imagination to come up with something so far from reality. Nonetheless, the characters are amazingly well-developed, not only the humans, but the plethora of robots as well.

The plot is more complex than you'd expect and includes not only the totally bungled Mars mission, but a murder mystery as well as a tie back to the Roswell UFO crash. The basic story is that the Brits have put together a mission to Mars, for which a robotic crew was tasked with building and preparing the base. This does not happen on schedule which means that the humans arrive to a facility that is not only unfinished, but built incorrectly, i.e., too small because they used "old meters" (yards) instead of "new meters."

The crew is not what you'd expect, but a motley bunch that ranges from librarians to scientists and their child prodigy type offspring plus various others unlikely to be part of such a mission. The commander, Flint Dugdale, who acquired that position when the original one was murdered en route, won his place on the ship originally from a reality show, then strong-armed his way into the top seat. He's rude, crude, and obnoxious, typically swilling beer and belching, thus not endearing in any way, but does lend a certain level of humor with some of his exploits, especially when they finally get settled at the base. I won't say any more than that because it would constitute a spoiler, as would mentioning any of the funniest scenes that had me laughing so hard I was in tears.

I laughed a lot, hard, at how outrageously crazy the entire situation was. There is clearly no semblance of reality here, especially on the science side, which the reader needs to recognize. It's a spoof and a satire, which I felt was well-done. It certainly expanded my knowledge of British slang, including boffins, twonk, pillock, kerfuffle, conkers, and numerous others, which for me added to the flavor of the story and kept me aware that this was a bunch of Brits. Fortunately, I read it on my Kindle, which has a built-in dictionary to help with such matters. As an author myself, I enjoy learning new words and have been known to read the dictionary. So I'm probably not your normal reader.

Clearly this book is not for everyone. For me it was just what I was looking for, something to make me laugh out loud while I was recovering from pneumonia. As a physicist and former rocket scientist, I have a weird, nerd-like sense of humor that resonated with this story. Consider that our college ritual every semester's end back in the 80s was to have a pizza party and watch "Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail." To me "The Big Bang Theory" is a reality show. If you can relate to that, you'd probably find this book amusing. I certainly did.
Profile Image for Rob Gregson.
Author 3 books21 followers
September 2, 2016
I read an early version of this many months ago, so the current version may have evolved since I first encountered it as a series of increasingly silly and entertaining installments.

I'd previously read Mark Roman's 'The Ultimate Inferior Beings', which was brilliant lunacy, so I was expecting something similar here. I wasn't disappointed. It plays very strongly on British humour - that kind of wry pride in our own mediocrity - and both the comedy and the characters will appeal to anyone who's ever enjoyed 'Red Dwarf', 'Blackadder', 'Fawlty Towers' and the like.

Like the mission it describes, it's ambitious, wide-ranging and it has a clear sense of national identity. For those who saw something strangely inevitable in the final-stages failure of the Beagle 2 Mars lander, this is a work you'll enjoy. And likewise, for those whose shoulders always slump at the prospect of a high-stakes penalty shoot-out, 'The Worst Man on Mars' will give you plenty to smile about.
Profile Image for Annette Jordan.
2,805 reviews53 followers
August 7, 2017
I read a review copy of this , and found it amusing and entertaining, if not entirely to my taste.
The Worst Man on Mars of the title is one Flint Dugdale, a somewhat yobbish, rude and arrogant Yorshireman, chosen by the British Public to be the part of the first mission to Mars via the always reliable medium of a reality TV show. Due to unforseen circumstances, including a possible murder, he becomes commander of the mission, a position he is completely unsuitable and unprepared for.
Meanwhile on Mars' surface an entire team of robots has been busy preparing a base for the arriving humans, and setting up food farms and water filtration systems necessary for survival. The only problem, and its a big one, is that they are massively incompetent and besides being behind schedule, have managed to botch the base so badly that survival of the approaching colonists is debatable at best. Then there is the mysterious "Other Place",a mysterious enclave to where the robots, and many of the supplies appear to have defected ...what does this mean for our intrepid, if incompetent Flint, and his band of equally inept colonists?
Billed as humorous sci-fi, this certainly meets the description , and is a lighthearted and enjoyable read. The humor is quite juvenile, relying on puns and a running gag about copyright, which involves numerous pop culture references, from Laurel and Hardy, to Only Fools and Horses and many others in between. This is a joke that works, but may have been over used just a little in the course of the book as a whole, as I started to find it repetitive by the time I was half way through the book. However as humor is so subjective, others may love it. One interesting thing I did notice was that all the robot characters ( cleverly named after "virtues") were inherently much more likeable than the humans, I assume this was a deliberate choice by the authors, and it made the book much more interesting. Sadly many of the human characters felt more like sketchy stereotypes , and it was difficult for me to care about them or the outcome of their antics.
Another nice little touch was the naming of each chapter, which involved references to famous books, films and phrases, and since there were a lot (of very short) chapters, this required some ingenuity. I also liked the little header sketches at the beginning of each chapter, a nice little touch.
Overall I liked the book , and I would recommend it to anyone looking for a fun light read to dip in and out of at their leisure.
Profile Image for D.L. Morrese.
Author 11 books57 followers
October 24, 2017
A ship full of dysfunctional people travel to Mars. When they arrive, things are not as they should be. The robots that were supposed to have built their Mars base are inept and badly behind schedule. Most of what they have constructed is out of spec. Ceilings are too low, air seals don't seal, fittings aren't fitted.... And then the new human arrivals find out that the food that should be stockpiled there isn't, and that they have WWII German scientists and the 12-foot-tall chickens for neighbors.

There is nothing subtle about this farcical space comedy. The characters are buffoons. The situations are absurd. It reminds me of a Three Stooges film. It's also a great deal of fun. If you're in the mood for some low-brow Sci-Fi humor, you'll enjoy this. One point of caution, though. The prose is very British. It includes a fair amount of contemporary British slang and cultural references. If you are not native to that green and pleasant land, some of these may escape you.

(Full disclosure: I was provided a free digital edition of this book by the authors with no strings attached.)

Profile Image for Katie.
119 reviews
July 29, 2017
So I was selected to review this book and I'm so glad that I decided to read it.

First of all the plot was very original and very funny.

The robot clan are really funny and it was really interesting to read a book from a robots point of view, I've never read a book from that point of view before. The science behind the story was very interesting.

I love all the subtle references to Star Wars and retro movies (book is set in the year 2029) such as Apollo 13 etc.

I really liked how all of the chapter headings are a play on words or are similar to other well known things,they are obvious in what the close reference is e.g one chapter is called 'The Lord Of The Kings' and another is called 'Game Of Throw-Ins' I love how that's done.

All the drawing at the start of each chapter are a really good too, they are really funny and added to the story really well.

Shout out to the Mobile Catering Unit bot Urn, he's adorable!

Now in terms of dialogue,for the most part I really enjoyed it but the way Oberon and his friends talk really irritated me! It didn't really make much sense, I understand that it helps to differentiate between characters but I felt that it wasn't really needed.

The main protagonist Flint Dugdale was infuriating but I could easily look past that as the robot clan provided some much needed humour to the story and I'm glad that the book occasionally swapped between multiple points of view.

Overall a very funny read that i would recommend to fans of sci-fi. A good solid book. I rate this book 4 stars.

Profile Image for Cee Jackson.
Author 6 books7 followers
October 14, 2016
No question, this is one of the most entertaining books I've read in a long time.

Initially, I thought there was distinct similarity to the Red Dwarf television programme ... which wouldn't have been a bad thing as such, what with me being a huge fan since series one, back in the day.

But as the pages and chapters turned, it became obvious that subtly referencing various sci-fi TV programmes and celebrities from all ages was the effective modus operandi of the writers, Mark Roman & Corben Duke. It's very clever, and funny writing.

The character depiction is excellent. Dugdale, from Huddersfield is so very stereotypically 'Yorkshire,' (I was a little disappointed however, that he is a supporter of Leeds United, and not his local club!)

It's one thing, though, being able to evoke colourful images in the readers' minds of the human characters, but to also do so with regard to numerous robots is another. Assigning them all individual and inherently human characteristics is like doing so with animals - and ultimately the results are hilarious.

The humor itself is dry, constant and consistent. It's right up my street. And it's a 'natural' humor, not forced or shoe-horned. It seems that once the characters were created, the dialogue followed spontaneously.

Yeah - this may appear to be a 'five star' review, but I've surreptitiously placed another one on top of last one that appears above - thereby making this the first 6-star, 5-review on Goodreads.
22 reviews7 followers
August 16, 2019
An interesting idea - Britain being the first nation to send colonists to Mars, with the captain being a Yorkshireman who likes beer, fighting, and pies. One of the other reviews on Goodreads which said this is similar to 'The Martian' but as written by Monty Python, is a pretty good summary. An enjoyable and funny story, but I'm not sure how well the humour will translate to people outside the UK.
Profile Image for The Cozy Review.
568 reviews43 followers
August 30, 2017
Title: The Worst Man on Mars
Author: Mark Roman
Genre: Sci-Fi Humor
Publisher: Grand Mal Press

Flint Dugdale, a Yorkshireman and reality TV show winner, bullied his way by using his large frame and ‘persuasive personality’ to take charge of Britain’s first mission to Mars. Little does he know that the base, built by an advance party of incompetent robots, is not quite ready yet, with no food, no water, and no doors. Worse, the ship’s scanners are picking up strange signals from the surface. There is life on the planet that shouldn’t be there, but what kind of life is waiting for them?

--
I undertook to read this book based on the reviews I had previously read and the idea that it was a humorous story. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy the read. I found the Robots far more interesting than the people. I found little to no real humor in the story at all. The idea behind the plot was intriguing but did not play out well.

The book in general needs editing and proper formatting. Much of the dialogue is not understandable. If the writer and publisher had anticipated selling this book to an American audience, they should have taken into account that the American English meaning of many words differs from the UK or European language. The use of the accent in the dialogue makes it difficult to keep up with what is being said, and the storyline seems to ramble.

Although Mr. Roman and Mr. Duke appear to have a creative mind and can put a story on paper with proper British humor as an American, I could not get into the story. The book could have benefitted from having a better editing job and a broader sense of the intended audience. Sadly I cannot recommend this book.




Profile Image for Karen.
189 reviews6 followers
August 29, 2017
If you like clever puns and a screwball narrative reminiscent of Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next series, this is the book for you.

The characters were all so well drawn that it was hard to pick a favorite individual, but the AI robots definitely were my favorite group. The “pinnacle of British engineering”, they’re brilliant as well as dumb as posts. But they have knowledge without context to temper it and have developed human-like personalities with human-like flaws, so they’re both endearing and dangerous, like humankind itself.

The story was a great escape into the fantasy of the not too distant possible future, a thinly-veiled cautionary tale of what humanity might reap as its reward for relying on technology to solve its problems and accomplish its work.

I received this book from the authors in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Profile Image for Brandy.
243 reviews1 follower
September 2, 2017
This book is silly, and I don't know if I get the humor of it. Sometimes, there are some pretty funny parts, but no laugh out loud moments happened for me. I didn't like the "main" character -- and I think that's the point of the book. However, I will be completely honest...I didn't finish this book. I didn't understand it, and it wasn't funny enough to hold my attention. The story moved slowly, and I made it about 200 pages in, and I felt like not much really happened. The part of the story that I did want to read about (the alien birds!) were mentioned infrequently, and then the story took a weird turn, and it just didn't hold my attention.

The writing style makes it easy and quick to read this book, and the chapters are pretty short, which also helps move the story along. But those are what I found to be the most redeeming qualities of the book.

If you are looking for laugh out loud funny, I would not recommend this book.
8 reviews
August 4, 2017
Mark Roman and Corben Duke provide a humorous approach to the colonization of Mars in The Worst Man on Mars. This science fiction book includes murder and mayhem that revolves around the antics of Flint Dugdale. Flint wins a seat on Britain’s Mayflower III, and plans to be the first man on Mars. The constant flow of errors on the mission between Flint, the crew, and the robots on Mars, had me questioning if there would even be survivors.

The story was written in many different points of view, which had me struggling to keep the storyline straight. I did feel there was some bawdy dialogue and situations that did not necessarily add to the story. However, these zany characters kept me engaged in the story, and I was definitely left guessing, “Who done it.” If you enjoy British humor and a fun twist at space exploration then this is a read for you. I received a free eBook in return for my honest review.
11 reviews
September 2, 2017
This type of book is not normally one that I would read, but having friends who have enjoyed bookish this genre including Red Dwarf, I decided I would give this one a read honestly because of the title. I was entertained by the characters, puns and witty references that accompanied them. It's been awhile since I have read a book where I laughed out loud, a lot.

I would recommend this book to everyone, but especially those who don't normally read this genre of book. It's not often that I come across a book out of my normal genres where the characters and writing keep me engaged (in this case laughing) throughout the book. Nicely written and I look forward to more works from these authors.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Profile Image for Sara Grotz.
96 reviews11 followers
September 2, 2017
I very much enjoyed reading The Worst Man on Mars. I am usually a mystery reader, but was looking for something different to read. I found it, and loved it. The story itself had several different viewpoints, which I think always keeps you interested. The humor was first rate, and I especially loved HarVard the super computer's different holograms. There were lots of pop culture and literary references that really brought the story to life.
The main "hero" Dugdale was fun to hate, as much as I loved little Tarquin. The characters of all involved were well drawn out and plentiful. Will definitely be recommending to friends, and looking forward to another book by these authors. I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my review, but all opinions are mine alone.
Profile Image for Caryn Zdan.
203 reviews7 followers
August 29, 2017
Although science fiction isn't my favorite genre, I do usually enjoy them. This book however I could not read thru it. It confused me by using "robot" speak and kept making me get lost in what was going on. I did not enjoy what I did read of this book. Unless you like reading codes in translations, I do not recommend this book.
Profile Image for Paul Freeman.
Author 49 books55 followers
November 22, 2016
Zany, silly hilarious, call it what you like but this book is a riot. Possibly the most incompetent space crew ever to don a shiny suit and bulbous helmet are heading for Mars, led by their oafish captain Flint Dugdale, easily the most unsuitable captain of a space vessel – Jean Luc Picard he aint – he only got the job because Stallion larger sponsored him after he won a reality contest. But that’s alright because the colonists are being cared for in a state-of-the-art base, purpose built by a team of specialist robots led by a super computer HarVard.

But wait… turns out the robots are just as incompetent as the crew and the super computer has his own agenda. Adding to this mayhem is the sighting of potential alien life and a murder mystery to solve. Needless to say the crew stumble from one catastrophe to another with hilarious results. I have to admit by the end I even had a soft spot for Captain Flint.
Profile Image for Stefanie.
78 reviews1 follower
August 6, 2017
Worst Man on Mars
I received a copy in exchange for a fair review. Worst Man On Mars is a science fiction humor novel about the first manned mission to Mars. Commander Flint Dugdale is the mission's bumbling, rotund, crude leader. The antics of Dugdale and his crew are told from several different perspectives. The dialog is often written with a Yorkshire accent which makes it a bit hard to understand at time. Overall the story was entertaining and there are definitely several laugh out loud moments.
Profile Image for Miriam O'Shea.
28 reviews2 followers
August 27, 2017
I found this to be a highly entertaining read!
Flint Dugdale has been selected to lead a crew of inept misfits on the world's first manned mission to Mars. The characters are lively (if a little stereotyped) and memorable, with the robots in particular stealing the show, they were very well written.
Fans of writers such as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett will appreciate this light hearted humorous story.
Profile Image for Stewart Hoffman.
Author 4 books83 followers
May 30, 2017
This is like Red Dwarf meets Benny Hill by way of a Monty Python skit. It’s completely bonkers! Its references to UK pop culture and the assorted personalities that populate that island, may not play well beyond the British Isles. But I, having grown up in Yorkshire, had a blast with this.
Profile Image for Lisa.
246 reviews5 followers
January 23, 2023
I couldn't get into this book as easily as I expected, having liked books in a similar vein. It seemed to try a little too hard to be funny and often fell short of the mark. But overall, it was an entertaining enough read.
284 reviews14 followers
January 22, 2017
Thank you Goodreads for sending me this book. From the front cover you can tell this is going to be full of humour and a fun read. Not usually the genre of book I would choose to read but I did enjoy it. It is a journey that follows Captain Flint Dugdale on a journey to Mars. There are plenty of reviews saying how funny, hilarious etc this book is. If you want a book that is going to make you laugh and remember TV programmes and characters from the past, then this is a book you will enjoy. In fact the authors characterizations and descriptions of the different characters are the best bit of the book for me.
273 reviews1 follower
June 18, 2017
For all you dystopian lovers out there, this book is for you. I have not read any adult dystopian books, so I was pleasantly surprised by this one. The protagonist causes the reader to feel so many things for her: sorrow, anger, disappointment, unbelief, and finally hope and pride. I pray we never have to live in this type of society.
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