White Like Her: My Family's Story of Race and Racial Passing

by Gail Lukasik, Kenyatta D. Berry (Foreword)

White Like Her: My Family’s Story of Race and Racial Passing is the story of Gail Lukasik’s mother’s “passing,” Gail’s struggle with the shame of her mother’s choice, and her subsequent journey of self-discovery and redemption.



In the historical context of the Jim Crow South, Gail explores her mother’s decision to pass, how she hid her secret even from her own husband, and the price she paid for choosing whiteness. Haunted by her mother’s fear and shame, Gail embarks on a quest to uncover her mother’s racial lineage, tracing her family back to eighteenth-century colonial Louisiana. In coming to terms with her decision to publicly out her mother, Gail changed how she looks at race and heritage.



With a foreword written by Kenyatta Berry, host of PBS's Genealogy Roadshow, this unique and fascinating story of coming to terms with oneself breaks down barriers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, History, Race, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir

385 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 17, 2017

About the author

Gail Lukasik's latest book, What They Never Told Us: True Stories of Family Secrets and Hidden Identities Revealed, tells the stories of ordinary people who made extraordinary discoveries about their parentage and/or race and ethnicity. It's the followup book to her best-selling memoir, White Like Her: My Family's Story of Race and Racial Passing.

Severance Magazine gave What They Never Told Us a glowing review. Click the link to read: https://severancemag.com

Her fifth mystery novel, and first gothic historical mystery, The Darkness Surrounds Us, was praised Publishers Weekly, who said of the book: "Lukasik delivers a gripping ghost story of pandemics past in this well-crafted gothic mystery. With unpredictable plotting and superior atmospherics, this is an early-autumn treat fit for late-night devouring."

Gail's memoir, White Like Her: My Family's Story of Race and Racial Passing, captured national attention leading to her appearance in the documentary History of Memory, which won the X Award at the 2019 Tribeca Film Festival. https://garage.ext.hp.com/us/en/moder...

Gail was inspired to write White Like Her after her appearance on PBS's Genealogy Roadshow where her mother's life changing secret was revealed.

The Washington Post named White Like Her as one of the most inspiring stories of 2017.
She was born in Cleveland, Ohio, and was a dancer with the Cleveland Civic Ballet Company.

Reviews

[Yolanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book! I would give it a zero if I could. I really wanted to love it. Excellent topic that I normally enjoy but the style of writing and point of view irritated me. The fictional letters that were supposed to be from the points of view is of people that she only knew about from birth records. The comments about how her mother was probably big on manners because she thought it was more white. Has she ever been in contact with Southern Blacks before this discovery? Many Blacks just like anyone else are taught manners in the home. The being insulted that people asked about her ethnic background, how? You’re giving a talk on race! Dah! The not understanding why her Mother’s siblings weren’t told that Shirly was their sister when visiting. Well she was passing for white and they were black children if they told someone, she could have been killed. After all of this research you should have understood this. I was also surprised that there was no connection made between the the mother’s passing and her depression? I’m baffled about the congrats that the writer received for reaching out to her Black family. They are family why would it be something different then reaching out to any family members? The last three chapters were the most interesting. I wanted to stop reading this so many times. Sorry for the rant maybe the issue is too close!

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

During the 1960's I was active in the Civil Rights movement. I've always been involved in social and economic justice issues. In 2o13, prior to visiting Eastern Europe, I began to search my roots, hoping to discover unknown relatives in Hungary. While I was unsuccessful in that endeavor, the exercise gave me a glimpse into what it was like to search for one's roots. When I heard about White Like Her, I knew that I would be interested in this book.

Gail Lukasik always wondered why her mother never took her to New Orleans to visit her mother's family. She wondered why her mother always wore make-up to go to sleep and why she only knew a few of her relatives on her mother's side of the family. Then to check something out, she sends for her mother's birth certificate and discovers that her mother may be either black or of mixed race.

This non-fiction book is Gail Lukasik's odyssey of discovery into her racial origins, her family, and what it means to be mixed race or of color in the United States of America. It was very well written and diligently researched. Gail Lukasik, a mystery writer, approaches her search as her own personal mystery. She leaves no stones unturned. If you want a model for searching for one's own roots, I definitely suggest reading this book. You won't be disappointed.

[Jacqui · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ll pass

Disappointed. The author wrote the book through the lens of white privilege. Annoyed with her take and felt she whined through the whole story. Felt very disconnected"

[Stephany Wilkes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like many other people, I saw the author on Genealogy Roadshow and was elated to find she'd written a book, giving us more of the story. I tore through this in three days.

I have always been curious about mixed race people who made the gut wrenching decision to pass the way Lukasik's mother did. I grew up in Detroit, one of several factory job destinations during the great southern migration. Given its geographic segregation and restrictive, racist housing laws, Detroit had a lot of mixed race people passing as white. Since the arrival of inexpensive genetic testing, I know a surprising number people who have discovered their mixed race heritage and, much like Lukasik and her children, are happy about it. I was primed and ready for this book and it does not disappoint.

Lukasik includes helpful guidance on how she approached and executed the genealogical research of her story, and it is never dry. Descriptions of large family trees, people's names, and other aspects of these kinds of detective stories can quickly become confusing, but Lukasik is clear, concise, and easy to follow. She ties threads together and I never felt lost.

The book is incredibly rich in U.S. history, almost none of which I learned in school, i.e. the settlement of Louisiana, shifting "color laws" over time, the growth and restriction of rights for black and mixed race people, and so much more.

I think the U.S. is, as a nation, finally confronting its ugliness and repressed demons in many ways, and this book is an important, warm, and fascinating part of that shift. In the last few chapters, in particular, you can feel the love, see how different we and our world can be, and won't be without tears. I am so grateful Lukasik had the courage to appear on PBS and write this book.

[Vladimir · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's a fascinating story and a wasted opportunity to write a fascinating story. It's structured like a pulp novel unaware that it's pulp and comes off as more of an outline of a book than a finished product. It lacks depth and introspection - writing random questions like: Who am I now? Am I still white? What does it mean to be white? Who was I all these years? Who was my mother?- is not introspection. And it really takes a special kind of talent to make a book about race in America politically dull and irrelevant.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am torn regarding my opinion of this book. I can be cynical and viewed the book that way. I was asked to read it for my book club and would not have picked this story on my own. But I also could empathize with the author's need to learn her own family history and not being able to learn any of it from her own mother.

The author begins the book by explaining how she stumbled upon her mom's birth certificate and realized that she may not be white. She investigates further and realizes that her was considered 'not white' in Louisiana b/c of the one drop rule. She confronts her mother and is asked to keep her secret until after her mom dies. She does so and then goes on Genealogy Roadshow to learn the truth. Shortly after she writes and releases her book detailing her journey.

I often felt that the book was padded with historical references to carry the book and, when she had no actual information, she would write "I can only imagine what said" and then would write an imaginary letter between 2 of her ancestors. Then she would explain, in great detail, many steps of her research which made the book drag on. I did appreciated\ her view on the phrase 'passing' for white. She interpreted it as 'passing' away (having to kill off your black identity) or passing a test (the test of appearing white).

[Tia Webb · Rating 1 out of 5]

How a person can take a subject that in itself is fascinating and make it painful to read baffles me. In the simplest sense, White Like Her is the story of how a woman discovered her mother was passing for White and how she made a promise to her mother that she would keep her secret until her mother passed away.

Passing for white is a subject that’s close to home as I’ve often heard stories of my relatives (ie my grandfathers sisters and grandmothers cousins) who have done this in the past. So I jumped on the opportunity to look at this subject from the other side. From someone who didn’t realize the magnitude of it and that they were the product of someone who passed. I wanted to know more about how she felt. How this news changed her life. The context. Instead this book was poorly written, contained fictional letters and conversations (that the author “thinks must’ve happened”) among the facts, and the way she writes about historical interracial “relationships” (while avoiding any mention of rape) and some of the language used makes me cringe.



I read half of it and just could not continue. Such a shame.

[Debra Johnson oliver · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked her story. Made me reexamine my own unconsciousness about bigotry. I don't feel like I'm racist; however, I don't know what it is like to be black. I am white and not mixed. But I do have mixed races in my family - African and Hispanic. I was raised in the South during tumultuous times, yes, they are even happening now. But I try to treat everyone with respect and compassion. However, her book and indeed, it has been brought to my attention lately that most people do see color. Ms. Lukasik's book helped me to reaffirm that we are different but we are all one race - human. We should treat each other as we wish to be treated.

[DeeReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a interesting and thought-provoking story on racial passing and how a curious and intelligent daughter, Gail Lukasik discovered that her mother was passing as a white woman although married to an overt bigoted husband.

If you enjoy reading about genealogy -family history and culture, then you will enjoy reading this memorable story on finding who you really are in a world sometimes divided by the color of one's skin.

"In the African American community, it is an unwritten rule that you do not “out” a person who is passing for white. And I was going to “out” her mother on a national television show. I felt as if I was betraying Gail’s mother, because I understood that she made a great sacrifice and a painful choice. As an African American woman who had family members who passed, I knew Gail’s mother had turned her back on her family, her friends, and her heritage. And in doing so, she’d assumed an identity that she barely knew but worked so hard to achieve. Her mother must have always lived in fear that someone might find her out. What if her children were born with darker skin? How could she explain that to her white husband?" - Kenyatta D. Berry, Host of Genealogy Roadshow (PBS)

"Race is a social construct. " - Gail Lukasik

[Sonia Schoenfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would you do if you found out that you belonged to a different race from the one you'd be raised as all your life? Who and what determines what race you are, anyway? Gail Lukasik's thought-provoking family memoir sheds light on her family's past as she uncovers her mother's racial passing in Ohio and a family history filled with interesting and heroic ancestors. Some participated in the Louisiana Native Guard (formed by free men of color who fought agains the Confederates in the Civil War); others owned businesses, owned slaves, or were slaves. Gail weaves her family's rich history with the history of New Orleans as well as the story of her appearance on PBS' Genealogy Roadshow. Gail honored her mother's request to tell no one of her racial identity until after she has passed; about four month's after Gail's mother's death, Gail told her mother's story on Genealogy Roadshow. The result and the ramifications of that revelation have changed Gail's world and helped a lot of us think about what race really means (or matters) after all.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I confess to being a history junkie with a fondness for genealogy, but Gail Lukasik’s book is positively fascinating. On a quest to find out more about her close-mouthed mother’s family, she discovers that her mother is mixed-race, and has lived her life passing as white. Wanting to learn more but held by a promise to her mother that she will not tell anyone, it takes years of research and a trip to a tv show to learn truths about family, self-identification and the difficult nature of “race” in the US. Lukasik grew up in a Bohemian enclave in Ohio, and I enjoyed her passing mentions of Czech food as a weird sort of Hey Me Too. The book also gives a strong sense of how growing up in an alcoholic household is important to her story. Very very interesting and doesn’t shy away from thinking about Lukasik’s understanding of herself and her guilty sense that, having white privilege, she might not have the right to claim her familial history.

[Robert · Rating 1 out of 5]

I believe I would have liked reading about the author's uncovering of her mother's hidden past, but the writing approach was poorly chosen and executed. The book jumped between three or more phases of the author's journey of discovery and descriptions of revealed ancestors (an approach similar to one which, in moderation, can be effective in fiction). The overall effect was a jumbled mess, with pointless, incoherent transitions, and one that failed to sustain my interest, so I gave up halfway through.

[Leah Colby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book from the publisher and I really wanted to like it. For people who are genealogy buffs, this book would be the bomb.com. My eyes glazed over at the the meticulous details of her plethora of great great great grandfathers, uncles, cousins, etc. It was enlightening to read about the racial history of New Orleans, however, I got lost on the multi-generational details. I wanted more of her mother’s personal story. Raising two adopted bi-racial boys, I am on a quest to learn more about our nations racist foundation. I found myself grappling with the question of whether or not I would have made the same choice as Gail’s mother. My choice, and I believe the choice of many, would point to how far we still have to go as a country to accepting and embracing people of all colors.

[Suzanne Foumal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touching

I was overcome with emotion reading this book. It touched so many of my own needs for a connection with family, that until I was over sixty years old didn't know I had. I am so glad that the author got that privilege. I suggest anyone who has an interest in genealogy to read this book. I admire the author's courage and tenacity in
researching her mother's family. I also am so touched by the way she accepted with love and pride her new family.

[Mona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! Loved it.

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't adopted, but I imagined being so – not because my parents were bad but because I was enticed by the thrill of walking through a door and discovering that I was more/different than I'd thought I was.

Imagine doing genealogical work, only to discover that you aren't who you thought you were. I'm not a genealogist, but I assume that is part of the thrill: Maybe there is a scientist, queen, or actress in my background!

Gail Lukasik made a discovery about her own mother, a woman with olive skin, dark eyes, dimples, and a roman nose. Her mother had shared little about her own early life and had few pictures. In her genealogical work Lukasik learned that her maternal grandfather was identified as Black in 1900 and white in 1930. Her mother was identified as Colored at birth, but lived her adult life as white, with not even her husband knowing her secret. Lukasik's genetic testing concluded that her DNA was 7-9% African – enough that as late as 1983, she would have been identified as Black in Louisiana.


Gail Lukasik and her mother

In some countries, having some African ancestry would make little difference. In the US, this made and makes a big difference, opening some doors while closing others. In some settings, one would need to "pass," to pretend to be someone other than who one is. As someone wrote to Lukasik about her mother,

I know that [your mother] paid a huge price in [choosing to pass as white]—having to deny her entire family and not even being able to be fully proud of herself and who she really was. However, I surmise that she thought: “For one generation there will be a price. Nevertheless, for my children and their children and all my generations they will have an opportunity for the best of life.” (p. 290)

Passing as white, though, is about more than skin color but also other "white behaviors" and, after the fact, explained all sorts of things – wearing make-up to bed, refusing to go back home to New Orleans, and even her insistence on politeness:

I always attributed [my mother's] strict emphasis on manners solely to her Southern upbringing. But acting white is part of appearing white. Being so polite, so well bred, how could anyone doubt her whiteness. (p. 240)

White Like Her was more genealogy and less reflection and family history than I would have preferred, but it was insightful enough to satisfy. Interestingly, even at the end of the book, I was more interested in her imagined dialogue for family members about their decisions to pass or not than by dialogue with her mother. Even at the end, her mother remained distant and a mystery.

[Beverly Jean · Rating 2 out of 5]

I saw part of this story on Genealogy Roadshow and being a genealogy buff was looking forward to reading this book which tells the true story of the discovery of a mother's secret, that she had been passing as a white women for most of her life. The author narrates a long and drawn-out story about her search for her Mom's past, through records and archives and all means possible to find the truth about her black ancestors and the reuniting with her relatives from that side of her family. What I liked about the book was that the author delved rather well into this country's history of racism. That said, what I didn't like about it far outweighed the positive. I personally found the bulk of the book which deals with the research to be interesting, but I can't see how the average reader would not be bored with it. I felt sorry for the Mom being exposed without ever really knowing her side of the story. (The Mom is now deceased and the author never had a discussion with her that lead to any sense of the Mom's reasoning nor feelings on the subject other than her objection to being exposed.) I think the author felt that exposing her mother's shame and putting her story out there would shine a light on the injustice of racial prejudice, but this subject has been done many times prior and I found nothing new in this one. The reader doesn't get to really know how the author feels about herself within the story either and I found that a bit lacking. I also felt a bit of whining in this book. I would recommend this book to history buffs who have an interest in the subject matter.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I chose to read White Like Her... by Gail Lukasik after reading a review in the Silicon Valley Mercury News. White Like Her... tells the story of Gail's search for her roots after uncovering the fact that her mother spent her life "passing" as a white woman living in the North after leaving her family in New Orleans. Gail uncovered this information and more after taking a DNA test and then following up with extensive genealogical research.

Ms. Lukasik held my attention by including the history of New Orleans, the social construct of free men of color, the social custom of placage, the one drop of blood rule, and other historical views and laws dealing with race in our country.

I rated this book with three stars because I found it repetitive in places and did not like the imaginary letters and conversations the author used to explain how her mother must have felt at different times in her life.

With the advent of easily obtained DNA results, I do think more and more people will find they are of mixed blood. This book will most likely become of interest to more readers as time goes by.

[Maureen Cantwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed learning about the history of race in New Orleans. Hopefully that information is accurate, unlike the genetics of sickle cell and beta-thalassemia. The author's mother is quoted as saying, "You can't tell anyone in the family until after I die." Multiple time the author includes an iteration of, "I kept my vow to my mother." Why does she believe her children are exempt from her promise? "After the encounter with my mother and the vow, my children bragged to their friends about our mixed race..." The book includes many contradictory statements. For example, the author later states, "I have no claim on black identity, no right to declare myself even mixed race."

[Gela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Editing this book has me sooo irritated
Ok don’t read if you’re easily offended.
I can’t stand this book and I was hoping to like it. I don’t know what the author Gail was attempting to accomplish with writing “White Like Her” but what it did was irritated the crap out of me because what point did it truly make? Fact Gails mother was what 25% black. Making Gail what 12.5% and like her mom basically looks white. Well Gail Black America is never going to accept you as being part black your white… White privileged. Your experiences are fictionally to a big portion and well can’t be bad at all because you’re WHITE. Or in other words it’s all your fault. It’s white societies fault, it’s white people today’s fault and from the past. Feel guilty! You were no celebrity before the book, which may have given you some black entitlement but nope, you’re just a white person from the south who found out she had black roots. Gail should have kept this to herself, or not write the book, or kept it a family memoir. A big portion of Black America is still going to look at her and hate her for her whiteness and feel that this acknowledgment insults them. You can’t be a victim in any way, Gail you’re “White privileged.” Yes I am sarcastic because the white guilt crap is BS. Shaming a woman because she wanted to know more about her black roots even if it’s the smallest increment is wrong. Everyone should be able to love, want to learn or be proud of their heritage no matter how big or small. But America is so hell bent on trying to shame anyone passing or being white as the root to all problems just for being WHITE. Whatever!
A lot of my feelings toward this book is the negative remarks from reviews for Black Americans. It’s sickening! Even from a story like this - they somehow like to twist sh*t into making full blacks in society the victim when it’s a personal story Gail was coming to terms with. It’s not a bad story, it’s just our society is not mature enough to understand “Gail’s story.” Instead it just keeps the permanent victim status rolling.

Now this may blow peoples mind if they don’t already know. Rich whites treated poor whites and certain ethnic groups of whites bad, some where even Slaves too, then there was Asians, Native Americans and Hispanic- treated bad by whites and omg others and their own. And omg, look at the history of every other countries! Man is greedy for land and wealth and we all have treated all bad. Let’s learn from it, and move on.

I don’t hate the book Perse , I hate that even a woman who is “white” and even try to embrace her moms
Partial culture without a big portion of Black America feeling insulted by it or insult her meaning Gail. Geesh a white woman is now offensive because she’s trying to embrace her black heritage and be proud of being a bit black… how Karen on her! (Eyes rolling) I guess she isn’t “woke” enough lmbo-so stupid! Woke :-/. And I love when “white” people’s experience are dismissed or referred to as historical fiction because a particular group fears anyone else could be a victim of life circumstances because they have an ounce of white blood in them. It’s sickening and hypocritical. A lot of cultures and races went through crap. Not just Blacks! Get over it. White had white slaves, Slavic counties invaded England- Vikings, Ben Franklin didn’t like swarthy, or tawny “whites” kicked them out of PA. Africans sold other Africans to whites… who brought them to the Americas… people are mean. If we really step back and look at it all, it isn’t really racism I would say it’s GREED, WEALTH and what one can exploit and take with power that is the real problem. If any other nation other than Europe would have progress as much as they did and became explorers at that time I’m sure they would have done the same thing Europeans did. It even happened in Biblical times. And man kind apparently don’t learn as much as they should by their mistakes.

This book was to bring about a woman’s new found awareness to a part of history she never knew she had. It’s about finding her roots. She is not to blame because she is white only by our society. The only people who are to blame are the ones who hid it, lied about who they were and were ashamed of being who they are. It’s not about what one group did to another group. This book was about finding and embracing her heritage. If she is even 2% black and 98% white… she should still be able to say she is proud to be part black and embrace her heritage and learn about it.

Forgive me but a lot of my review has to deal with the negative and a**hat comments I read. Seems to me a lot of people have some crazy hatred and anger over ever little thing a white person does… everything those white folks do is offensive… we’ll go frolic in the rain folks and have a coke and a smile!

I do think Gail should have kept this just as a memoir to herself and her family. Only because this country is so hypocritical when it comes to race and force on others that only people of color can experience racism which is bullcrap!

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

With the boom in readily accessible home genetic testing kits, this story is a must-read. Author Gail Lukasik discovers a hidden family link, later confirming it with extensive genealogical research and a genetic test. Her mother passed for white as a young woman, leaving behind an extended family in New Orleans that chose to remain on the other side of the color line. Lukasik is also a fiction mystery author, and tells her real-life mystery story with skill, revealing her search bit by bit. With compassion, she delves into the historical milieu and racial oppression her mother faced that drove her to make a decision readers today might otherwise not find sympathetic. Interspersed with her family’s story and the research is Lukasik’s appearance on the Genealogy Roadshow television program. Whether your own genetic test has revealed a surprise, or you are just curious about the historical phenomenon of racial passing, this story is fascinating.

[R.J. Sorrento · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was required reading for a genealogy course for my MLIS program. I found this biography bloated at times and indulgent as the author (who is a mystery writer) included fictional letters and poetry about her research. The subject matter of racial passing in America and unearthing family secrets through genealogy is a fascinating topic, but the book loses steam at times with many detours. I learned a lot from a genealogy research perspective, however, but on an emotional level I learned so much more about passing from reading fiction such as The Vanishing Half.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for my bookclub, and would not have picked this book up on my own. I know I can be somewhat nit-picky about books and how they are written, but this one in particular grated on my nerves.

From the first chapter I was in dislike, not with the actual story of Gail Lukasik learning about her family, but of the way in which she wrote about this journey she took herself on. I understood why and how she felt the need to learn more about her ancestry, but I felt like she wrote this from a white woman’s gaze who wanted people to take sympathy in her naivety about her not knowing anything about her mixed heritage.

So she finds out she’s Black because her mother secretly passed for white, and now her white woman entitlement and tears and whatever white fragility she has comes screaming out as she learns she’s not as white like she thought. Her book has the vibes of, “woe is me, I’m Black now. Here comes the disappointment and feelings/shame of being less than…” That’s what I got. I feel like she wrote this book in the vein of having won the prize for being white, but then it gets snatched away because she finds out she’s Black and now has to live in inferiority. In one instance she equated Black life to now all of who she is and her accomplishments are going to be questioned, and that makes Black people, who are Black and look Black, question and see themselves from a perspective that see us as less than, inferior, always questioned about our credentials, etc. I was deeply offended when I read that in her book. As if being Black should be a damning curse. Maybe to white people, being Black is a curse, but damnit, being Black is beautiful, and this book didn’t come across as finding out something exciting and thrilling, but finding out she’s a burden on society, having to navigate white spaces in fear, and thinking her life’s work is going to be questioned just because people are finding out that she’s Black. I wanted to throw this book away, but I couldn’t, ‘cause it was a library book.

To me, the book was empty. Other than writing a book about the journey she went on to find out her mother’s race, the rest of the book was empty filler and uninteresting. Her point of view sounded like she was teaching white people about something she just learned, but in fact has been here for hundreds of generations. “Passing” is nothing new in the Black community. It does come with great trepidation, especially if one is caught trying to “pass,” but it can also come with great rewards for being able to step over the color line and not look back. It can also be isolating and harrowing, living your life in fear of being found out, but also never able to really be yourself… always pretending.

I felt like this book was a behind-the-scenes view of what she went through to write her book and also learn about her mixed race heritage. I also felt like this book was a bore and did not uplift the Black community at all with her learning of how rich her ancestry actually is, she sounded very ashamed in many ways to find out she has some Black ancestry in her heritage. Even after she learns she has some Black heritage, she’s very careful to share how small the percentage actually is, to be sure to other white people, that it’s nothing crazy, it’s only a drop, so I’m still safe and white, and … and… and…

“Passing” is nothing easy. You lose family. You couldn’t go back and forth like you can now. It was a grave danger to “pass” for white because you would automatically be entitled to “The American Dream.” If you are found to be living a lie, then horrendous dangers could come and annihilate you and your entire family. Her mother was brave to have passed over, but to wind up in the throes of a racist bigot, now that’s ironic.

Her mother’s depression I’m sure came to be because she had lost her family and couldn’t go back. That she had somehow finagled her way into white spaces all to be married to a bigot, and had to live in fear of her own husband. I’m glad that Gail finally had a chance to solve her family’s mystery, but she doesn’t get kudos from me. Being Black is a blessing and not a curse, and Black people should not have to live in fear of being found out. It was horrible that her mother had to make a huge life decision to actually “pass,” and to do so that came with some fear and trepidation in her own home. No wonder she had depression.

I don’t believe Gail fully understood the enormous bravery it took her mother, and the toll it took on her life to be able to do what she did. It seemed like Gail was scared to be Black, scared to learn that people in her family were enslaved and slave owners, and that she is apart of the society that discriminated people like her mother. Maybe now that she’s learned of more family, whether they are Black or non-Black, she should cherish them for who they are and not what they are.

2.5 stars - rounded up to 3.

[Luanne Castle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Think of growing up as a white girl in mid-century America, with a father given to racist expressions, and only learning as an adult that your mother was (legally) a black woman passing as white and keeping the secret from everyone! That is the case for Gail Lukasik who wrote a memoir, White Like Her, about her search for the truth about her mother’s roots.

Gail’s story was first showcased on Genealogy Roadshow, and afterwards Gail, a mystery writer, began to write this memoir. The book details the genealogical research she and others did to find Gail’s family’s quintessentially American story. I was fascinated in the story because I am so interested in family history, American history, genealogy, and mysteries. What a great text to introduce to those who do not know the one-drop rule and other stupid laws in the history of Jim Crow.

I did wonder a few times if some people might be put off by the who begat whom, but it’s presented in a very cohesive and interesting way. I’m not sure how the book is structured, although her appearance on the show is the glue for a large portion of the book–and then the final section is about meeting her “new” family members and building a relationship with them. What one comes away from the book with, more than anything, is that race is a construct, not a real thing.

[Becky · Rating 1 out of 5]

I discovered this in a Little Free Library in my neighborhood and snagged it (and donated a book or two in return - I'm not a monster!)... and then I saw that I could get the audio from my library, so I returned the LFL book for someone else, and went the audio route. Because that's how I read these days. Audio or bust!

Anyway, I didn't make it very far before I realized that this book and I were not going to get along, despite it being right up my alley, theoretically. I was interested in the history and the genealogical aspect, but I was not interested in the very privileged tone and aspect. I could expect a certain amount of curiosity about one's history and heritage and family, especially if there are gaps and questions, but about the time she committed FRAUD to request her mother's birth certificate, AGAINST HER VERY SPECIFICALLY STATED WILL, I was like NOPE. This is not for me. That's a violation, and I don't care that it pertains to your ancestry, it's fucked up. So I'm out.

[Lori Ellsworth leavell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well done.

Gail takes us on her journey to uncover the family her mother left behind. The sad truth of American history and the impact it has had and is still having on peoples lives.

[Adrian Jackson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this and taking this unique journey with the author. A friend complained that there was too much historical information, but I love history and genealogy, so it was the right mix for me.

[Cydne B · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Enjoyed the experiences of the author and her family. Did not enjoy the travails through the research and establishing the link to African ancestry. Don’t understand why that was so important to pinpoint.

[Debra Ballard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eye opening book!

Beautifully written book, that truly opens your eyes. This book makes you want to research your own family history now.

[Sharon Jones]

Interesting look at the other side if race issues.