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Royal Pains
ASIN B075L1M7F1 moved to the most recent edition here
“Es gibt nichts schöneres als dich.” There is nothing more beautiful than you.
Geeky wallflower Penelope Waters hadn’t signed up for falling in love with royalty. A new medical school student, all she’d ever wanted was to be a doctor. When Penny unknowingly meets a young Liechtenstein princess, she finds herself falling hard for more than just her German accent.
Charming and beautiful Astrid Vogt was well known in the small country of Liechtenstein. Pressured by her parents to pursue their hopes of her marriage to a Prince, Astrid flees to America with a dream of medicine in mind. When she starts to fall for Penelope, their instant attraction proves to be an additional complication to her already crazy life. Unable to reveal her true identity, Astrid finds herself trapped between her duty to her country and her newfound feelings for Penny.
Will Astrid tell Penny who she truly is? Or will she let her past come between them?
A steamy lesbian romance novella with an HEA ending you’re sure to love!
“Es gibt nichts schöneres als dich.” There is nothing more beautiful than you.
Geeky wallflower Penelope Waters hadn’t signed up for falling in love with royalty. A new medical school student, all she’d ever wanted was to be a doctor. When Penny unknowingly meets a young Liechtenstein princess, she finds herself falling hard for more than just her German accent.
Charming and beautiful Astrid Vogt was well known in the small country of Liechtenstein. Pressured by her parents to pursue their hopes of her marriage to a Prince, Astrid flees to America with a dream of medicine in mind. When she starts to fall for Penelope, their instant attraction proves to be an additional complication to her already crazy life. Unable to reveal her true identity, Astrid finds herself trapped between her duty to her country and her newfound feelings for Penny.
Will Astrid tell Penny who she truly is? Or will she let her past come between them?
A steamy lesbian romance novella with an HEA ending you’re sure to love!
124 pages, ebook
First published September 12, 2017
31 people are currently reading
95 people want to read
About the author
Magnolia Robbins
19 books121 followersMaggie is a bestselling queer romance author from the west coast. When she isn't writing, you'll almost always find a cup of coffee in her hands.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
September 26, 2025
Now this is the sort of story to read on holiday! Excellent, made me cry, a small cracker of a book - love it! Still brilliant, 2nd time around!
September 22, 2017
Cute and light quick read. Both Astrid and Penny are likable. I think almost all the secondary characters are likable too.
Goodness! nice chemistry.
I think Astrid is the most down to earth royal I've ever read. :))
If you're looking for a quick read I recommend this especially if you like Royal themes.
Goodness! nice chemistry.
I think Astrid is the most down to earth royal I've ever read. :))
If you're looking for a quick read I recommend this especially if you like Royal themes.
September 21, 2017
A very simple and very naive story.
November 18, 2020
A short, light, easy and almost-angst-free love story between a princess and a commoner; don’t expect too much though :)
Available in Scribd
Available in Scribd
November 27, 2017
I don't know the target audience of this book. Probably someone who insists on problem-free relationships and has read technical manuals all day and needs to bring it down. There are no real problems for the two main characters, Penny and Astrid, just go, go, go. There is sex in the story (tame), just so you know. The story is written "See Jane run" kind of simple and the whole thing is just so "nice" I don't want to write a real critique of the book.
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January 7, 2026Author faked disease and other despicable things
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July 9, 2018
A weak entry in the apparently growing lesfic subgenre of princess novels.
It started off ok and then somewhere along the way derailed. Errors grew in numbers and the issues I had with the writing grew. It just didn’t work for me at all.
It started off ok and then somewhere along the way derailed. Errors grew in numbers and the issues I had with the writing grew. It just didn’t work for me at all.
February 6, 2018
Mm. I'm all for fluff, but...I prefer it to be good fluff... Not to be harsh about it, but I'm pretty sure Robbins has the shakiest grasp of tenses I've ever seen in print, and the world-building is only marginally better. Let's take a rapid-fire whirl through the book, shall we?
Tenses/Grammar:
Where there was once a collection of band t-shirts and well-loved jeans, now contained a few sets of blouses from which I pick through at rapid speed. (loc. 19)
I rush to the bathroom to find that my short blonde hair was going in eight different directions. (loc. 19)
When we were alone, Astrid lets go of my hand, and it falls gently to my side. (loc. 642)
And on it goes. On and on. Even the disclaimer at the end manages to evade a basic spellcheck: The author wishes to acknowledge that she was privelaged to include Liechtenstein in her work to recognize the country and enjoyed learning about it's rich history. The royalty in this piece does not reflect the countries true monarchy and is meant only as purely fiction. (loc. 1775)
It hurts.
Princess Fantasies:
This is actually the second book by Robbins that I've read, and I went for it because I figured...well, badly proofread lesbian princesses are better than no lesbian princesses, right? Right. But there are so. many. holes. in this princess fantasy. Like: Astrid's med school professors know she's a princess from Liechtenstein...so one of them says "I've been to that area of the country once for a conference. Berlin." (loc. 444) Last time I checked, Berlin was not in Liechtenstein... Astrid's identity is otherwise a Big Secret because she's trying to throw off the shackles of wealth and power (well, power, anyway; she doesn't seem to mind wealth), so you might think that would be a plot point...but the only person who cares when she's found out is Penelope. And, good grief: when Astrid goes back to Liechtenstein, she just low-key gets a job at a pub and moves into the attached studio...and although her parents call it a 'bad decision' (loc. 1460), nobody seems to think this is a weird thing for a princess to do. A princess with a university education, no less. One who was previously studying to be a doctor. And at the end of the book she randomly gets US citizenship...? With no explanation of how she qualified or how her royal parents don't mind...
I'm confused.
Tell Me, Doctor, Is It Serious?
Penelope and Astrid meet in medical school in New York, and if I wasn't already confused enough...umm. Their medical school needs to be reported to every board ever, because Penelope does rounds with patients in her first semester. The first week of the first semester, as far as I can tell. And she's not just tagging along. At the end of the semester we get this: Today, I'd be doing nearly all of the triage by myself, with Dr. Lawson's supervision. Case history, the physical exam, deciding the next steps (loc. 925) Again...this is her first semester. Most medical schools, to my understanding, have clinical rotations in the third and fourth years. And then her professor takes the time to sit down with Penelope just to show her an A on the computer...and I'm wondering what kind of quack school they're studying at...but apparently it's good enough for a free clinic to let them spend the day triaging patients, giving exams, administering flu shots and other routine vaccinations, drawing blood, and everything else they could possibly give us to do (loc. 1166).
Would you trust a first-semester medical student to do anything other than study and sleep? Because I would not. No way. No how. I would be yelling at them to get that damn needle away from my arm.
New York, New York:
We established that Penelope and Astrid are in medical school in New York, right? Well. Penelope doesn't have a ton of money, so she works as a cashier, because apparently she's never heard of med school loans. (Later, Astrid works as a cashier too, and this is such a non-event that I've almost forgotten already.) But I guess Penelope's making bank as a cashier, because she's able, on a whim, to either buy or rent (who knows) a place: It is an older place. I'd got a good deal on it. Two bedrooms, one bath. It has a beautiful fireplace which I'd lit before I went to pick her up. All hardwood floors. A nice kitchen with a view of the city through the windows. It is certainly not the penthouse, but it is or can be, ours (loc. 1199). Do you know how much an 'older' (presumably pre-war) apartment would cost in NYC? With two bedrooms, and hardwood floors, and a fireplace, and a good view? And Penelope can apparently afford it on her own, because when Astrid goes back to Liechtenstein, there's no mention of the part where, you know, Penelope's cashier-income is inadequate and she's evicted or foreclosed upon or whatever.
Meanwhile (not that this really has anything to do with New York), it's logical to both characters that if someone 'doesn't drink' then hard cider should be reasonable; a German phrase book doesn't have the word 'book' in it; Penelope's mother's wedding ring (not engagement ring) has a diamond...
And now I'm tired.
Kisses from a Lady:
Oh, right. There's a romance. And it's sweet. There's virtually no tension or conflict, other than the fact that Astrid is a princess, and even once that comes out it's only fluffily a problem. Penelope gets over it, nobody in the media notices or cares that a member of royalty has a lesbian lover, and everyone lives happily ever after. The end.
Tenses/Grammar:
Where there was once a collection of band t-shirts and well-loved jeans, now contained a few sets of blouses from which I pick through at rapid speed. (loc. 19)
I rush to the bathroom to find that my short blonde hair was going in eight different directions. (loc. 19)
When we were alone, Astrid lets go of my hand, and it falls gently to my side. (loc. 642)
And on it goes. On and on. Even the disclaimer at the end manages to evade a basic spellcheck: The author wishes to acknowledge that she was privelaged to include Liechtenstein in her work to recognize the country and enjoyed learning about it's rich history. The royalty in this piece does not reflect the countries true monarchy and is meant only as purely fiction. (loc. 1775)
It hurts.
Princess Fantasies:
This is actually the second book by Robbins that I've read, and I went for it because I figured...well, badly proofread lesbian princesses are better than no lesbian princesses, right? Right. But there are so. many. holes. in this princess fantasy. Like: Astrid's med school professors know she's a princess from Liechtenstein...so one of them says "I've been to that area of the country once for a conference. Berlin." (loc. 444) Last time I checked, Berlin was not in Liechtenstein... Astrid's identity is otherwise a Big Secret because she's trying to throw off the shackles of wealth and power (well, power, anyway; she doesn't seem to mind wealth), so you might think that would be a plot point...but the only person who cares when she's found out is Penelope. And, good grief: when Astrid goes back to Liechtenstein, she just low-key gets a job at a pub and moves into the attached studio...and although her parents call it a 'bad decision' (loc. 1460), nobody seems to think this is a weird thing for a princess to do. A princess with a university education, no less. One who was previously studying to be a doctor. And at the end of the book she randomly gets US citizenship...? With no explanation of how she qualified or how her royal parents don't mind...
I'm confused.
Tell Me, Doctor, Is It Serious?
Penelope and Astrid meet in medical school in New York, and if I wasn't already confused enough...umm. Their medical school needs to be reported to every board ever, because Penelope does rounds with patients in her first semester. The first week of the first semester, as far as I can tell. And she's not just tagging along. At the end of the semester we get this: Today, I'd be doing nearly all of the triage by myself, with Dr. Lawson's supervision. Case history, the physical exam, deciding the next steps (loc. 925) Again...this is her first semester. Most medical schools, to my understanding, have clinical rotations in the third and fourth years. And then her professor takes the time to sit down with Penelope just to show her an A on the computer...and I'm wondering what kind of quack school they're studying at...but apparently it's good enough for a free clinic to let them spend the day triaging patients, giving exams, administering flu shots and other routine vaccinations, drawing blood, and everything else they could possibly give us to do (loc. 1166).
Would you trust a first-semester medical student to do anything other than study and sleep? Because I would not. No way. No how. I would be yelling at them to get that damn needle away from my arm.
New York, New York:
We established that Penelope and Astrid are in medical school in New York, right? Well. Penelope doesn't have a ton of money, so she works as a cashier, because apparently she's never heard of med school loans. (Later, Astrid works as a cashier too, and this is such a non-event that I've almost forgotten already.) But I guess Penelope's making bank as a cashier, because she's able, on a whim, to either buy or rent (who knows) a place: It is an older place. I'd got a good deal on it. Two bedrooms, one bath. It has a beautiful fireplace which I'd lit before I went to pick her up. All hardwood floors. A nice kitchen with a view of the city through the windows. It is certainly not the penthouse, but it is or can be, ours (loc. 1199). Do you know how much an 'older' (presumably pre-war) apartment would cost in NYC? With two bedrooms, and hardwood floors, and a fireplace, and a good view? And Penelope can apparently afford it on her own, because when Astrid goes back to Liechtenstein, there's no mention of the part where, you know, Penelope's cashier-income is inadequate and she's evicted or foreclosed upon or whatever.
Meanwhile (not that this really has anything to do with New York), it's logical to both characters that if someone 'doesn't drink' then hard cider should be reasonable; a German phrase book doesn't have the word 'book' in it; Penelope's mother's wedding ring (not engagement ring) has a diamond...
And now I'm tired.
Kisses from a Lady:
Oh, right. There's a romance. And it's sweet. There's virtually no tension or conflict, other than the fact that Astrid is a princess, and even once that comes out it's only fluffily a problem. Penelope gets over it, nobody in the media notices or cares that a member of royalty has a lesbian lover, and everyone lives happily ever after. The end.
September 24, 2017
A Sweet book the writing was good. The plot was entertaining and it was steady throughout the book. I found the story and characters likeable. The characters were well developed and thought out. Penelope Waters and Astrid Vogt are the MC’s of this book. There was humor, medical school, a cat and dog, a rainstorm, secrets, royalty, an aunt and cousin, a penthouse and so much more in this book. This is the second F/F book that I have read and I totally enjoyed it.
Here is a quote from the book, “Now, you’re a bit of a mystery,” Charlotte says when she looks at her. I can only assume it’s about her stalking. “You do a very good job of keeping yourself a secret.” Astrid’s face looks about as uncomfortable as mine had when she met me on the side of the street outside. “We’ll have to keep a careful eye on this one,” Charlotte says, and the three of us laugh.”. There is more but you will need to read the book which I can recommend. I voluntarily read an advance copy of this book for an honest review.
Here is a quote from the book, “Now, you’re a bit of a mystery,” Charlotte says when she looks at her. I can only assume it’s about her stalking. “You do a very good job of keeping yourself a secret.” Astrid’s face looks about as uncomfortable as mine had when she met me on the side of the street outside. “We’ll have to keep a careful eye on this one,” Charlotte says, and the three of us laugh.”. There is more but you will need to read the book which I can recommend. I voluntarily read an advance copy of this book for an honest review.
September 15, 2017
First of all, thanks to the author for providing me with an ARC of this beautiful novella!
I'd known all about 'killing 'em with kindness' but this book kills you with cuteness!
To be absolutely frank, right now all I want to do is hug the author tightly and thank her for writing such cute novellas!
In a world where cold, intimidating CEOs are dominating the stories, sweet and kind characters like Penelope and Astrid are much needed!
I had so much fun reading their story and the happy ending left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. <3
So yeah, Royal Pains was sweet as a German Cheesecake and as good as apfelwein!
I'd known all about 'killing 'em with kindness' but this book kills you with cuteness!
To be absolutely frank, right now all I want to do is hug the author tightly and thank her for writing such cute novellas!
In a world where cold, intimidating CEOs are dominating the stories, sweet and kind characters like Penelope and Astrid are much needed!
I had so much fun reading their story and the happy ending left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. <3
So yeah, Royal Pains was sweet as a German Cheesecake and as good as apfelwein!
September 24, 2017
Beautifully written, Royal Pains is such a sweet romance. I was a bit thrown off by all the German and medical speak in the story and I have to say, Penny took the news of Astrid's lie by omission much better than I probably would have, but it was a good story nonetheless. These ladies are quite good together and their love story is a compelling read.
December 28, 2021
I got pretty much what I signed up for with this one. It’s a cutesy, fluffy romance with a perfect happily-ever-after. Essentially a Hallmark movie, but queer, and in book form. Not a ton of character development or non-romance plot, but points for it being queer without some tragedy befalling because of that!
September 30, 2019
The time in it is the main factor...it passes at a very much considerable pace...moreover if looked on a broader prospective it is a sexist novel with not a lot of sex and not clear portrayal of sex...not until you are free enough to read almost anything.
March 26, 2021
Like other books by this author it was a great story with great likable and relatable characters and a well flowing story. I like the language aspects of magnolia Robbins’s books and since I’m from Austria it was fun to read the German phrases.
October 9, 2017
Short and sweet. Nothing truly surprising happens, and it's straight forward like others have mentioned.
July 22, 2018
The Reluctant Reviewer
I enjoy reading Magnolia Robbins. This is a cute story. It's not like her other novels in that this was super sweet, like sticky sweet.
I enjoy reading Magnolia Robbins. This is a cute story. It's not like her other novels in that this was super sweet, like sticky sweet.
January 19, 2019
I cried tears of sadness. Then I cried tears of joy. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
October 19, 2019
Een leuk verhaal over 2 vrouwen die verliefd op elkaar worden en waarvan de één een prinses is en het ander niet verteld dat ze dat is.
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December 16, 2019This was an easy read. If you want to have some light reading you should definitelly read this, but don't expect suspence.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews