Damaged: My Story

by Paul Stewart

AS a young lad growing up on a Manchester council estate, all Paul Stewart dreamed of was making it as a professional footballer. It was a dream that would lead him into a nightmare of sexual and physical abuse from which he has still not recovered. Stewart was abused every day for four years by his junior football coach. He suffered in silence and embarked on a successful career that saw him play for Manchester City, Tottenham Hotspur, Liverpool and Sunderland, scoring in an FA Cup final and winning caps for England. Behind it all, he was a broken man many times he wished he could end his life. He turned to drink and drugs as a way of coping with his devastating secret. In 2016, Stewart was sitting at his office desk one morning when he read a Daily Mirror story about a footballer who had been abused. His world was about to change... Paul Damaged is one of the most powerful and emotionally charged football life stories you will read.

288 pages, Hardcover

Published September 7, 2017

About the author

Paul Andrew Stewart (born 7 October 1964) is an English former professional footballer who played as a defensive midfielder and forward.

Source: Wikipedia

Reviews

[Simon Adams]

Superb. Heart-breaking, wrenching, careering from one tragic situation to another. Abuse, drink, drugs and a career that tailed off too early. I am in awe of Paul (or ‘Stewy’ as he seems to have been known) as he has lived with horrific experiences of child abuse suffered when young and following the dreams of a sport he loved. He did not deserve that. And yes, it feels like it has defined him. However, it has not beaten him and that’s the uplifting part of the story. Bad things can happen to good people who then make mistakes as a result of the pressures these place on their lives and decisions. However Paul and many others have demonstrated a route out. Tell someone. You don’t have to wait 40 years. Tell someone. Now.
And a bit about his football career at Blackpool, Man City, Spurs, Liverpool and Sunderland. Not your typical gooey all autobiography.

[Steve Parcell]

If you read one autobiography by a footballer this year it has to be this one. Powerful Compelling and excellent.

Due to Paul's bravery we now have stringent Safeguarding Children procedures in kids football.

[Ian Curragh]

5stars

Not what I expected when I purchased the book. It speaks of the suffering of child abuse that led to alcohol and drugs. Paul Stewart speaks openly and honestly talks about his problems and career in football. A powerful book and a must read for any footie fan.

[Andrew Alvis]

I read this book for two reasons. 1) As a dedicated Spurs fan and 2) To greater understand the mindset of someone who was a victim of child sexual abuse.

Number 2 is particularly important as someone very close to me suffered for a great many years and has never truly discussed the impact it has had on them. Having read Pauls' book about his abuse educates me on how hard it must be to discuss this sort of subject with even complete strangers, let alone worried friends/family.

I salute Paul for his courage.

[Mac Wilson]

Really good book. Paul is brave man. I have been through this to a much lesser extent. The only let down was that Paul and his brother seemed proud that in their early years their neighbour was scared of their father and said nothing when his windows were broken.

[Tommo]

Difficult life story very well written!!!

[Dave B]

Decent book. But if you ever get the chance to see Paul Stewart talk, or Derek Bell and hear their stories, take the opportunity. Saw them both at NUFC give a talk and it was heartbreaking to hear.