The Wild Other

by Clover Stroud

SHORTLISTED FOR THE WAINWRIGHT PRIZE ' This story - so fierce and brave and visceral and raw - will stay with me forever. Clover Stroud is a force of nature, and a woman who is fearless in the face of life and death. I loved it.' Elizabeth Gilbert, author of E at Pray Love ' An astonishing book about loss, love, darkness, pain, sex and adventure. I adore it.' Dolly Alderton ' There is so much richly evoked life here... beautifully written.' Cathy Rentzenbrink, The Times 'This redemptive memoir will steal your heart; it will return it bruised but emboldened.' Mail on Sunday ' I have huge admiration for the spirit of this memoir, and its full of heart, bravery and adventure. A moving, gripping read.' Amy Liptrot, author of The Outrun Clover Stroud grew up in rural Wiltshire surrounded by animals and family. When she was just sixteen her adored mother had a horrific riding accident which left her permanently brain-damaged, and suddenly Clover was left to fend for herself. She embarked on an extraordinary journey to heal her broken heart, courting men and danger through two marriages and five children. The Wild Other is a grippingly honest account of love, sex and travelling to the darkest edges of human experience and back again. Powerful and deeply emotional, this is the story of an extraordinary life lived at its fullest.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Book Club, Nature, Biography, Family, Grief

288 pages, Paperback

Published March 8, 2018

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the first 78 pages only. Normally I love memoirs that center on bereavement or major illness, but there’s so much going on in this book that rather drowns out the story of her mother falling off her horse when Stroud was 16 and suffering a TBI. For instance, there’s a lot about the blended family Stroud grew up in, an embarrassing amount of detail about her early sexual experiences, and an account of her postnatal depression that plunges her back into memories of her mother’s accident.

“Horses are the source of powerful magic that’s changed my life,” Stroud asserts, so she talks a lot about real horses and chalk figures, but that’s not the same as affirming the healing power of nature, which is how this book has been marketed. This is well written, yet I couldn’t warm to the story of a posh Home Counties upbringing, which means I never got as far as the more tantalizing contents set in Ireland and Texas.

[katy ktp · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extraordinary work. I loved every moment of it. Her connection and description of horses is remarkable. The tragedy of her mother was beyond heartbreaking. An exceptional writer.

[Stephen · Rating 3 out of 5]

warm felt story of lost and grief and the joys of horses. The author's mother has a horsing accident and her Brain injury and the feeling of a person there after what happened with and the medications and side effects. the author own journey afterwards to adulthood and beyond and learning to live with feelings of lost and grief.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

The childhood that Clover and her siblings enjoyed was a relaxing home life, growing up in the country whilst surrounded by horses and the beautiful hills outside Oxford. This idyllic upbringing was brought to an abrupt end in November 1991 when the head interrupted her history class and asked her to step outside. It was then she learnt that her mother had been involved in an ‘incident’. She had fallen from a horse and was seriously injured; just how serious would soon become apparent.

Clover’s life would never be the same again.

This first loss of her mother, the hub and heart of the family, would fracture their lives from that moment onwards. Clover sought solace in friends, lovers and drugs. The search for comfort would take her across to Ireland, to the vast ranches of Texas as a cowgirl and finally to the arms of another lover from the splintered Caucasus regions before she wends her way home to the Vale of the White Horse. She settles and raises a family, with all the ups and downs that this entails. Her mother’s condition slowly worsens as she then deals with her own crisis.

Reading this book is a raw and painful experience. Her turbulent life after her mother’s accident, forms the woman she is to become; strong, independent, vulnerable and delicate. She has the juxtaposition of knowing exactly what she wants, without always knowing the direction that she is heading. Clover is very open about her personal life, going into a fair amount of detail at times, not looking for judgement or approval; just being honest about what happened. The landscape where they lived is her anchor when dealing with all that life throws at her and it is something that she returns to at all the different stages of her life. I was hoping for more of the natural world and her interaction with it. It would have lifted it from the good to the great. Still worth reading though as she writes with a clarity and honesty that you don’t often get. 3.5 Stars

[Mrs Olga A Danes-Volkov · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extraordinary book

I have read this in two days,often when I should have been doing something else but I would pass it and be unable to stop myself picking it up and reading, reading. An unbelievably honest account of a life lived with the searing pain of seeing her beloved mother severely brain damaged after a riding accident this is a wonderful, unforgettable memoir. The author describes the dark places to which her grief takes her and at the end of it all it is a relief to know that she emerges to great happiness. Her mother, who produced such varied talents as the author, her sisters, Nell Gifford, the circus owner and Emma Bridgewater the potter, must have been a remarkable woman.

[rina dunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Non fiction is probably the genre I read least and this is the first Memoir I've read and I Loved it.
I read this one as a book club pick and it was the perfect pick for me. I've always had an obsession with horses and I've been lucky enough to work with them as a career.
This book is Clover Stroud's raw and brutal memoir which centres on her mother who has a tragic accident whilst horse riding and suffers brain damage. It's about how Clover deals with the loss of her Mum before she died and the finality of her death. And gosh did this book make me feel everything. I literally felt like I was listening to an old friend tell me their life story. It's beautiful and painful And honest. I could read this author forever just based on the affinity she has with horses ❤️ honestly one of my favourite books.

[Flora Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who suddenly lost her mother at twenty, I was intrigued to see how Stroud would manage to write about such a similarly daunting & life changing event - yet so much more complex, because her mother lived another 20 years in various nursing homes.

For the most part, I really enjoyed the book and was nodding along to much of her reactions, emotions and behaviour which spiralled after her mum's accident. However, I was less convinced by the last third of the book which somehow became focused on a series of her sexual encounters instead of any particular storyline.

Structurally, I was impressed with Stroud's ability to jump around in time within each chapter.

[Liz Franklin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book. Honest, raw, searching, poignant and agonising in equal measures. All the more heartbreaking as Clover’s incredible, spirited sister Nell Gifford lost her life to breast cancer just before Christmas at only 46 years old. A book that will stay with me forever....

[Sarah Pollard Williams · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, I approached this with trepidation, as the cover was full of the authors mum's severe horse riding accident and head injury....as it was, was this incident really key to Clover Stroud's behaviour?
Obviously very clever and possibly indulged, her childhood is painted as idyllic. After her mum's dreadful accident, she has a two year gap between school and university (despite the home chaos she has a place at Oxford) and pretty much shags her way round Ireland with a traveller boyfriend. Later on she travels in the states, marries an old crush, has babies, he turns out to be alcoholic......separation preceeds meeting up again with the man of her dreams. More babies, some PND. Sure we have all made epic life mistakes, but Stroud's sheer irresponsibility really got up my nose. Partly, I envied her, and a lot of me thought she was spoiled and flaky. Rather a disappointing alternative view to those who have lauded this book.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

A difficult book to rate because while I could not relate to the major narrative device of horses and horse-riding, the book definitely made me think and feel a lot. Stroud's response to tragedy is to throw herself into dangerous situations, mostly related to horses and men. Some of the passages about horses are too descriptive for someone who has had no contact with them, but Stroud makes up for it in her descriptions of her interactions with people. I did find her writing about her husband at the end very cringeworthy but appreciate that when it comes to writing about emotional attachments, to each their own.

A gift from Mum and Dad for my 25th.

[Emilie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book marked me on so many levels, even on some that I didn't even know existed. I felt like it was written for me. Clover Stroud I salute you, thank you so much.

[Lucy Skeet · Rating 4 out of 5]

wow. this is the quickest I've read a non-fiction book in a long time. clover is an incredible writer and her way of linking things and bringing them back, and simply writing about feelings is just incredible. I also own one of her other books, and want to get my hands on the one I don't own ASAP.

[Seana Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional and heartbreaking story of a family, a catastrophe and its aftermath. I found the stories of Clover Stroud's childhood so charming and then the trauma so devastating. Her wildness made my hair stand on end. Wonderful writing and so many gorgeous locations described. What a story.

Listened on Audible.

[Sneezewort · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely extraordinary book........

[Bee Operanto · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting memoir, difficult reading in some parts, but living in the same area has clover it's has beautiful descriptions and a feeling of freedom, and if you are a horse lover or owner you understand the joy and companionship they bring, a strong book with no holes barred in the depths of grief

[Tasha Neely · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow wow wow. Beautiful and personal. Loved it!

[Jenny Cooper · Rating 2 out of 5]

Clover Stroud grew up in the South West of England where she had an idyllic childhood as part of a very close family unit. When she was 16 her mother was permanently brain-damaged in a horrific riding accident and the family struggled to come to terms with their loss. Needless to say, nothing would ever be the same again and Clover embarks on a period of soul searching as she tries to recreate the wonder of her earlier years. Horses were always a major part of her life and this theme continues as Clover’s journey progresses. She embraces a number of different experiences and lives life to the full as she searches for the peace which she craves. This is a memoir, written by Clover about the whole grieving process and her pursuit of happiness and some sort of resolution.

I was really looking forward to reading this book but unfortunately I didn’t feel that it lived up to expectations. I felt that it started off on the wrong foot as the first few pages were a gloomy description of her life now, which did not seem entirely relevant in terms of the book that I was hoping to read. On the whole I found it dull, boring and repetitive, yet it could/should have been so good. Somehow it just lacked vibrancy and passion and, instead of coming across as redemptive it was largely just depressing. Clover had so many wonderful experiences but they somehow didn’t come alive on the written page. She also had a lot of pent-up grief, sadness, fear and frustration to discharge and I wanted this to make me cry. What I was actually given felt like a fairly pedestrian narrative which failed to stir up any emotion in me whatsoever.

However, it wasn’t all bad. Clover did have some amazing experiences and a lot of interesting stories to tell about those experiences. Whilst I did not feel that the writing style necessarily did them justice, they were still interesting.

Unfortunately the only word I can really think of to describe this book is disappointing, especially as I was expecting such great things. I would probably not seek out other books by this author.

[Vivienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderfully written book of the effect Clovers Mothers tragic accident had on her life. It is told with brutal honesty. I had the privilege of being part of the staff that cared for Char and can relate to so much that was written. A very moving story that touched my heart.

[Kirsty Kelso · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well written and moving but is it all just a bit hammy? The wild gypsy life which turned out to be a bit of a gap year before she took up her place at Oxford? The 'oirish' wild man husband who turned out to be a middle class kid from Andover ... Hmm

[Bella · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected to enjoy this more, however I hadn’t realised how much of Clover’s story and life focussed on horses. I found it difficult to become invested in this however I became more towards to final half of the book. The writing was beautiful but it wasn’t engaging enough for me.

[Rowena Macdonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this. Swift read. Really well written in places, particularly at the end, the parts about the mother's funeral and how she describes trauma and grief like two big cats, one a panther and the other a tiger (I think...). It covered so much ground that I wanted more detail - it leapt from one crazy adventure to the next and each adventure could have made a book in itself. Found it hard to relate to Clover Stroud in a way as she seemed so bold and brave and reckless and brimming with confidence & I guess I am feeling kind of battered and fearful these days. My youthful recklessness has dissipated (sp.?). I feel would have curled up in a heap if my mother had been brain damaged in that way at the age of 16. Although I suppose you can't know how you would react to such trauma and Clover Stroud reacted in this particular way, chasing adventure, refusing to be floored, which is kind of admirable. The parts about her mother's awful situation were really hard to read and Stroud does not shy away from the horror. Sometimes I did feel an awful pang because the whole family seemed to move on, leaving her mother to be looked after by nurses in various homes, but then again, one shouldn't judge because she obviously needed specialist nursing. Overall, a very readable & thought provoking memoir. I would read more by this author.

[what.heather.loves · Rating 3 out of 5]

"No one knows why the White Horse is there above the hill in Uffington. It's a mystery that belongs to ancient man, and we can speculate. It we are only ever guessing."

Horse-mad Clover Stroud enjoyed a childhood blessed with ponies and the great outdoors in Wiltshire, with her exuberant and eccentric mother, Charlotte (known as Char), and father Rick Stroud.

In 1991, when Clover was sixteen, this came to an abrupt end when Char was thrown from her horse while out riding and suffered a catastrophic blow to the head. Defying the medical prognosis, Char regained consciousness, but could never be the mother Clover needed.

After her mother's accident, Clover sought comfort in friends, lovers and drugs and she embarked on a journey to regain the sense of home that had been so cruelly disrupted. Travelling through gypsy camps in Ireland, to rodeos in Texas and then to Russia’s Caucasus, Clover eventually found her way home to the Wiltshire countryside.

The Wild Other is an emotional account of love, loss and family, written with honesty. During traumatic times, horses and the landscape of her home county were Clover's anchor. This memoir is a reminder to live life to the fullest. Powerful but difficult reading.

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, it is Clover's memoir about how her loving mother was injured in a riding accident when Clover was a teenager. We get to know Clover through her journey through grief, involving horses, love, adventures and rebellion. Clover writes with a sensitivity and rawness to her emotions and evokes beautiful moments of life in gypsy caravans in Ireland to ranch life in the US, all whilst mourning the devastation of her family and the loss of her mother in her life. It is an inspiring read, heartfelt and moving. As a horsewoman, mother and having lived through grief in my own life, I felt as if I knew Clover. I have bought copies of the book as gifts for people I love, it has been my best read of 2017 and quite possibly one of my favourite books ever.

[cotcom · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir by Clover Stroud makes for compelling reading. It is the true story of how life changed in an instant for Clover when her mother had a horse riding accident and is left permanently brain damaged. At sixteen, the home with her mother at the heart of it is broken. This is the dramatic and honest story of how Clover slowly put the pieces back together. She has to look after herself for the first time. She sets out on her new life journey, looking for peace and resolution.

The book is well written. Stroud tells it like it is, as she overcomes adversity. The story is emotional and gripping. It is a reminder of how fragile life is and how powerful the human spirit is. It makes for uncomfortable reading in parts as the author struggles to cope. But I couldn’t put this one down.

[Helen Frost · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clover Stroud memoir is heartbreakingly beautiful. She writes so eloquently on her Mother's accident - motherhood, family, loss and grief. Her honesty on how her Mother's accident and long decline affected her in every part of her life was difficult, in parts, to read. Interwoven into this memoir is the significance of horses and nature throughout Clover's life- I found this particularly compelling as her Mother's terrible injuries were due to a riding accident. It is an incredibly thought provoking book - but mostly I just found her writing so eloquent and searingly poignant. It was not a book that I would have chosen to read but was for my book group - I am so glad it was chosen. Highly recommend.

[Veronica · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book as my daughter gave it to me and she loved it. Much as I found it easy to read and the author's telling of the story of her mother's accident and subsequent long-term ill health was well written and very moving at times, there were times when I wanted to slap her for her incredibly selfish and irresponsible behaviour. Her tales of her adventures in Ireland, US and the Caucasus I found incredible, in the true sense of the word! I just wonder why no photos? Considering she is a professional writer her grammar was suspect at times (misuse of personal pronouns), what was her editor paid for? Disappointed.

[Louise Donegan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not a horse person, and this book has a lot of horses! However, I still really enjoyed this memoir and I can only imagine that if you were a horse person this would resonate even more. Stroud has a way of beautifully describing the environment of wherever she is: I was transported back to the English countryside hedgerows, intrigued by the vast sweeping Texan landscape and fascinated by her time in the Caucuses. Stroud’s story is told through horses but is framed by her mother’s terrible accident when she was 16, which becomes the prism through which all her life becomes informed thereafter. Heartbreaking and heartwarming, I look forward to reading more from Clover Stroud.

[Sara Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clover Stroud has definitely wrung the experience out of life - riding racehorses, travelling across Ireland with a horse-drawn cart, a degree at Oxford (slightly glossed over), working with cowboys in Texas, single-motherhood after the breakdown of her first marriage, travelling to the Caucasus to visit a Cossack horseback rider lover, a career as a journalist, and sleeping with a lot of largely anonymous men before falling in love again and going on to become the mother of 5 and writer of memoirs - all in the shadow of her mother’s riding accident, which happened when Clover was just 16. It’s vicariously thrilling and slightly exhausting to think that someone did so much.

[Kitty · Rating 5 out of 5]

An astonishing memoir. The overarching narrative is one of loss and grief suspended, as the author's mother suffers a life-changing riding accident when Clover is just 16, and has to live in nursing homes for the next 22 years of her life. The other central theme is horses, which offer a lifeline in the struggle to grow up, grow stronger and feel connected to the mother who is lost to her. The adventures she goes on in pursuit of this 'wild other' - to Ireland, to Texas, to the Caucasus - are thrilling and the characters who fill these different parts of her life are vividly drawn. It is a deeply honest, soul-baring account, written with poetic beauty and a galloping pace.

[CHRISTINA · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve just finished this book and my emotions are raw and I have a lump in my throat. For what was a slow starter (I almost put this book down to give up during chapter 2 due to my mind wandering through the two initial intro chapters that just ceased to grip me and they seemed to talk too much about horses). I persevered and I’m so glad I did. What a colourful life Clover Stroud has lived and what a raw and open account of it all.