The Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess: How to Raise a Girl Who's Authentic, Joyful, and Fearless--Even If She Refuses to Wear Anything but a Pink Tutu

by Devorah Blachor

“May God grant me the serenity to accept the color pink, the courage to not let my house become a shrine to pink and princesses, and the wisdom to know that pink is just a color, not a decision to never attend college in the hopes of marrying wealthy.”
 - from The Feminist’s Guide to Raising a Little Princess
 
 Smart, funny, and thought-provoking, this book shows feminist parents how to navigate their daughters' princess-obsessed years by taking a non-judgmental and positive approach.
   
Devorah Blachor, an ardent feminist, never expected to be the parent of a little girl who was totally obsessed with the color pink, princesses, and all things girly. When her three-year-old daughter fell down the Disney Princess rabbit hole, she wasn't sure how to reconcile the difference between her parental expectations and the reality of her daughter’s passion.
   
In this book inspired by her viral New York Times Motherlode piece “Turn Your Princess-Obsessed Toddler Into a Feminist in Eight Easy Steps,” Blachor offers insight, advice, and plenty of humor and personal anecdotes for other mothers who cringe each morning when their daughter refuses to wear anything that isn’t pink. Her story of how she surrendered control and opened up—to her Princess Toddler, to pink, and to life—is a universal tale of modern parenting. She addresses important issues such as how to raise a daughter in a society that pressures girls and women to bury their own needs, conform to a beauty standard and sacrifice their own passions.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Feminism, Womens, Humor, Reference, Adult

287 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 7, 2017

Reviews

[Scott Dempsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book should have been titled, “Why I think all feminists should like the movie Frozen” because that’s mostly all the author talked about. Little to no insights on parenting beyond “YOU GUYS, Disney is better than they used to be, probably give them all your money and your life will be easier!”

The only people who would truly enjoy this book are parents who are feeling guilty for putting Frozen on for their daughter for the 37th time and want someone to tell them it’s ok....for 250 pages. If your kid likes Moana or Tiana, or heaven forbid a non-Disney character, there’s nothing here for you.

Oh, and if your looking for critical thought about raising empowered, feminist children... keep looking.

Seriously though, Frozen is brought up 28 times, Elsa 33. I checked on Google books because I was curious.

[Cara Rosenbaum · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title of this book is totally deceptive. It's not about raising an empowered little girl. It's about a mom that thinks she is really funny and clearly wants to be a comedian and loves the movie Frozen, even though she used to roll her eyes at Disney princesses. Now she loves Disney princesses cause her daughter loves Disney princesses! Even though she admits that the fantasy is kinda silly. End of book. I made it 75% of the way through hoping it would finally get to some kind of point, and then had to abandon ship cause I couldn't take it anymore. Great title though, I wish that the title reflected what the book was actually about!

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was cute, but kind of rambling and incoherent. Some of the humor kind of falls flat and feels like it’s trying too hard. Basically it doesn’t quite match up to the title. Parents who are in the throes of princess everything will probably find something here to make them smile, though.

[Isabel Giraldo · Rating 3 out of 5]

5 better titles for this book:
1. My Daughter Loves Frozen Almost As Much As Her Feminist Mother

2. You Can’t Escape the Princess Phase Once It Begins So Deal With It

3. Feminists May Only Submit to Princesses: Girls Are Found to Not Pick Up on Oppressive Messages from Fairytale Stories

4. My Experience Raising a Girl in a Disney Commercialized World You Can’t Avoid

And my personal favorite,
5. Wave the Pink Flag: Parenting Is Easier When You Surrender Your Feminism-Upbringing Aspirations

Still not a bad read if you’re sometimes in the mood for listening to your friend talk about her daughter and her newfound stance on raising girls in a Disney commercialized world. Short chapters are good for those who don’t have much time and it goes by quickly because it doesn’t inspire much thinking.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Give this to a young mom who needs some laughs and encouragement.

[Kevin Maring · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and thought provoking. Sometimes the desire to protect our children can veer off into a desire to control them.

[Ana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good title. Terrible book.

[Rachel Holt · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was looking forward to reading this only to be completely disappointed. Rather than accept her daughter's princess obsession and point out some of their strong and empowering characteristics, she proceeds to moan about pink and the "Sleepy Trio".

#1:If she's so offended by pink and Disney, then stop buying it for your child!
#2: Just because you admit that you are an enabler, doesn't mean that it's okay to continue it!
#3: It sounds like your daughter is drawn to pink, because you fight her on it so much.
#4: It sounds more like she's in danger of growing up a spoiled brat than a girl waiting for a prince to save her.

[Wicked · Rating 2 out of 5]

OMG for a mother who purportedly did not like princesses or Disney, this book read like an ad for good old Walt! While some of it was sassy and entertaining, I didn't find it to be particularly interesting or relevant to the title.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

10/5/19

[Mitchell MacLeod · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few interesting sections in here and some of the lists illicited a guffaw or two. A bit too much like a collection of blogs. I would have appreciated more connected writing. I have two princess obsessed girls and I honestly hoped to pick up a tip or two. Unfortunately for me Blachor was going more for self referential comedy.

[Amber Jimerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed to read this book. There’s plenty to chew on and maybe even plenty to disagree with and question, but the heart of the book was a timely message for me.

I can relate to the author’s natural inclinations and I’ve often found myself parenting my own unexpected Little Princess out of misplaced fear and negativity. It only took a few chapters for me to loosen up and by the end of the book I’d say I officially had a different view of pink and princesses and my daughter’s interest in them.

[Celia · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's nothing in this book that you can't honestly get from listening to "Let it Go" from the movie Frozen and really absorbing the message that have to let it go

[Holly · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you're looking for a humor-style book where the punchlines are usually some variation of "parenting is really hard and exhausting" with a "I'm worried my girl is too into pink and princesses" twist, this is your book. If you're looking for parenting tips or engagement with feminist discussions, they make up maybe a total of 10% of this book. Lots of rambling and material that seems off topic or only thinly related (a timeline of Disney princess history, a jokey do's and don'ts for pedicures, lots of gushing about how Frozen is the best princess movie ever, etc.). Her overall advice seems to be don't worry so much and watch Frozen, because princess stuff doesn't really have much of an effect (apparently based on 17 informal interviews with high school/early college age girls who report that being interested in princess didn't really affect them in any serious way and some studies showing no effect in younger girls). Worrying less is generally good advice but this doesn't really engage that deeply with the topic or more nuanced concerns about unintended messages sent by princess movies that may reinforce more obviously negative views of women in society. Since I was looking for a serious book on the topic, I found these humorously exaggerated solutions, somewhat off-putting.

[M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book more than I expected to, though some parts I did have to skim through, which I don’t usually do. I was really worried during the chapter discussing the fundamental differences between male and female brains, but she finally came down on the side of: they’re indistinguishable. The humor could be a bit much sometimes and just isn’t what I look for in a book, but some of it was genuinely funny and it’s a quick, light read. A bit repetitive at times. Worth the read for any mothers concerned about their daughter’s princess phase. Also, I’ve never watched Frozen all the way through but from being a preschool teacher and now reading this book, I definitely feel as though I have.

[Andi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give The Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess 4/5 stars. I started into this book with a bit of a bad attitude, but I actually turned out to enjoy it! I feel like the author rambles on a bit about princesses... okay, A LOT. Like we get it, you don't like princesses. But once you get past the blasting of everything pink and princess-y, I thought the author was humorous and included some great key points for raising a daughter. I loved that the author included actual studies and references in her book, as well. It definitely lent some credibility. I feel like this is a book I'll have to keep in mind when my own daughter arrives.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another book that didn't quite have the meat to be a book, but it only took me a few hours so I didn't mind too much and it at least strives to make you laugh throughout. The thesis of this book is basically "I know it feels really awful, but it probably doesn't really matter that your daughter is obsessed with princesses." I appreciated its walking the line between hysteria and rationality. Seems like a good read for parents who want to commiserate, but can live with the fact that there is no real advice.

[Sara Liebman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book turned out to be different than I expected but it was enjoyable nonetheless. A memoir of one mother's journey toward accepting her daughter's love of pink and princesses speaks to the idea that many of us have about embracing such a culture. Will loving princess make my daughter embrace traditional gender roles and standards of beauty? Will she think she has to be saved by a man? The second half of the book is more of a meditation on feminism and how loving princesses can actually be a feminist experience. Excuse me while I dust off my pink tutu.

[Eva Cabanelas Dopazo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un ensayo hilarante que consigue aunar dos polos a priori opuestos, el feminismo y el mundo de las princesas Disney. En pleno siglo XXI, me ha sorprendido enterarme de que las mujeres estadounidenses no tienen permisos de maternidad. La autora revisa las principales películas de la factoría desde una perspectiva actual, lo que arranca sonrisas al lector en más de una ocasión. El libro demuestra cómo se puede al mismo tiempo ser una feminista convencida y adorar a las protagonistas de los cuentos de nuestra infancia.

[Wisty · Rating 5 out of 5]

First book of the year and will undoubtedly be one of the best. I wasn't sure if I could relate, since I'm not a mother or anything close, but this hit home in numerous places and was that kind of book that made me come to Realizations, with a capital "R." The voice was hilarious , there were a lot of interesting facts and statistics, and I even cried like a baby at one point. This is one that I want to hand to everyone I know and will definitely be revisiting.

[Joanne Cookson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The title is so very misleading. I was really looking for a few how-tos—conversations to have or activities to do—that would help me raise a confident child. The book just didn’t deliver. The studies cited were a bit interesting and eye-opening, but the rest of the book is about how the author’s daughter fell into the rabbit hole of Disney princesses. Also, granted I’ve only seen Frozen once, but I really didn’t see it as this great breakaway from traditional Disney princess movies.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light, easy read on a topic I think a lot about. The movie “Frozen” is referenced A LOT in a positive way, especially in comparison to the passive Disney princesses (Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella). Very much an opinion piece but with a surprising (to me in a good way) number of references to scientific research. Probably not for someone looking for serious information on the issue (though a lot of the source material would be good). Gave me a lot to reflect on.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

The fluffy retelling of fairytales, Feminist godmother, princess quizzes, and portions with pie charts of little princess scenarios turned me majorly off, but the personal antidotes & fact driven portions of the book were quite good. I rated this two stars instead of three because I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know.

[Alice Sibley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and well researched. The author LOVES Frozen and (spoiler alert) ultimately comes around to accepting princesses. I relate as I am not a princess loving lady but my daughter certainly is. I appreciate the research on gender, feminism, and parenting and it's delivered in an easy to read, witty format.

[Stella Tsotsi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although the book largely autobiographical and in my opinion not really a "guide" for anything, there are a couple of interesting messages that the author is trying to convey. However, you need to be patient with the first few chapters to get to the juice. As a researcher myself I appreciated the references to actual scientific papers that the reader can go to for the source of information.

[Joanna Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even if you're not running around after a toddler, this book is insightful, revealing and funny. It's also serious and gave me pause to think not only about the generation presently being raised but about the kind of world we're raising them in.

[Trey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t enjoy this book and almost quit it several times.

The author makes some good points, but her sense of humor is not one I enjoy. She came off as bitter and resentful more than anything.

I would not recommend this one.

[Michelle Sawyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unexpectedly hilarious

I wasn't expecting humor, having had no prior exposure to Blachor's writing, but was very much delighted by this book. It really resonated with me on many levels (toddler daughters, movie references, ex-pat existence) and I enjoying it tremendously.

[Püren · Rating 2 out of 5]

Neden Frozen izlemek ayıplanmamalı ve izleyenler feminist olmamakla suçlanmamalıyı anlatan, ara ara da faydalı birkaç araştırmaya atıfta bulunan, öylesine okunabilecek ama fazla beklentinizin olmaması gereken bir kitap.

[Anna Burrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entretingut. Sense obrir-me nous punts de vista ni ampliar conceptes, m'ha permès reflexionar sobre com evocar les futures predileccions de la meva filla, treure ferro a alguns neguits i apostar per la llibertat del gaudi, els gustos i les aficions, sempre procurant alimentar la mirada crítica.