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Blamestorming: Why Conversations Go Wrong and How to Fix Them

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Do your disagreements often escalate into rows? Do you get crossed wires when talking to your stressed partner, difficult teenager, overworked colleagues or demanding boss?

Blamestorming outlines the reasons why our daily conversations go wrong, explains how to respond when they do and provides tips on how to stop them going wrong in the first place. Based on his experience as a highly respected communications coach for international companies and business professionals, Rob Kendall provides a practical guide to achieving more rewarding and effective interactions with everyone in your life - from your boss to your partner.

Rob's techniques have been proven to be effective for thousands of people from all walks of life and are presented in an illustrated step-by-step format that makes them easy to put into practice from Day One. Underpinning the book's approach to consistently having better interactions is an explanation of the warning signals that indicate when a conversation is going off track.

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First published January 1, 2014

13 people are currently reading
340 people want to read

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Rob Kendall

15 books4 followers

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5 stars
31 (26%)
4 stars
54 (46%)
3 stars
27 (23%)
2 stars
3 (2%)
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0 (0%)
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
Profile Image for Donna Craig.
1,104 reviews46 followers
January 14, 2024
Blamestorming is about how to have conversations that work past conflicts in a sane manner. The topic is very current and pertinent. I have to agree with the author when he expresses dismay at the fact that public schools teach essentially nothing on the topic.
The book was really well-organized and the advice well-explained and supported. I did think this short book could have been shorter.
Profile Image for Anne Marie Kim.
20 reviews
April 2, 2019
A small book with 21 chapters starting with Be Curious, spot the signs, identify the subtext, develop clear agreements, set the context, clear up the mess, ask what's missing and needed, cross the threshold, etc. The problem was the text was in purple, which would have been fine if it was darker.

It helped me to understand conversations and how to avoid tangles and arguments that can lead to a Bad Place. We tend to take conversations for granted, so this book is good to help us to make our conversations clear and convey our message clearly. Good book!
Profile Image for Jeff Hennore.
146 reviews18 followers
December 14, 2018
Such a good book! I add my voice to the author in that if we were better communicators, then the world would be a far better place. Kendall shares great stories of communication fails and successes, while also giving actionable steps in how to commmunicate better both professionally and personally. This book will be in monthly rotation for me, as I'm sure I'll always be able to obtain valuable nuggets from it. I HIGHLY recommend reading and sharing this book with others. Thanks, Rob!
13 reviews
March 17, 2019
Nice book with very well examples. Good to see the views of author on how to improve the conversations in real life. The examples shared in this book are based on the real life problems which everyone has to face in different ways. The book is good if you read it with full focus. I felt a bit boring in the middle but two things kept me going is: 1st I need to learn and understand how I can improve the conversation and come out of blamestorming situation (The reason is I have entered into such situation earlier and have suffered in it, so next time when I come I will know how I have to come out of the situation and handle it in a different way rather then going towards the blamestorming) and second I have to finish the book. It took long time to finish the book and knowledge given is worth it. Hope in future I might plan to read few sections again and learn from it.
Profile Image for Markus Lustig.
241 reviews5 followers
September 19, 2022
A decent book about communication, pitfalls and avoiding them. Even though the book is titled blamestorming, it has a broader context in communication than just crucial or difficult conversations - which is kind of nice.

The book gets right to point from the beginning and I feel that the writer has put most effort to it. When the book advances, the less new (ideas or perspective) I get. Do I know more about the latter topics or are the latter topics written with different motivation? I don't know.

Even after reading a bunch of books about communication and negotiation, this book has value. Could have stopped after 70-80 pages, but the rest offers some revision value.
Profile Image for Weekend Reader_.
1,070 reviews93 followers
July 26, 2019
Easy to read, practical recommendations, but nothing was super duper new. Books like this reminds me to be a better listener, be patient, ask questions, and see the best in people. I think if you read this book it would be helpful to simultaneously to make the advice more poignant. Overall, I would recommend this book for teams, couples, or friends who are struggling to communicate well.

One particular nugget that I will take away is practicing alternative perspective. I think this strategy will save me tons of annoyance.
Profile Image for Nolan.
11 reviews1 follower
March 12, 2022
The book was fantastic for me to be honest. Helped me stop blaming others and how to stay calm under pressure. Ever since reading it in 2020 I've found it easier to have conversations and confrontations without them escalating into an argument. It also helped me recognise how to take accountability for my part in situations.
56 reviews
July 11, 2021
Fantastic book. Not too long, but thorough enough. Some information will be familiar, but there's some good story telling, and enough insightful material that I had to stop it a couple of times to write some notes. Well done.
Profile Image for Leigha Maland.
205 reviews
December 21, 2023
Quick read with a lot of great insights. Some of the information is repetitive and obvious (put yourself in their shoes, where have I heard that before?) but overall I pulled a lot of good tidbits out and am excited to put them in practice.
Profile Image for harry panini.
96 reviews8 followers
February 24, 2019
Quite a decent book, nothif new actually but the tactics on resolving problem were well defined
Profile Image for Smriti Jhunjhunwala.
13 reviews4 followers
November 2, 2019
Nice simple and short book but very relevant... can relate with everyday lives....no jargons, nothing high end, absolutely day to day life examples!
Profile Image for Sarah Griner.
3 reviews
July 20, 2020
A book I will probably reread every year to keep me on track with my communication skills. The end gets a bit off track compared to the well laid out format of the first 3/4 of the book.
Profile Image for Ethan Wiggins.
69 reviews
June 11, 2021
7/10

Im pleasantly surprised. I picked this up because it was on sale and I haven’t read any nonfiction in a while. Quick read with some interesting points
Profile Image for Andy Nieradko.
165 reviews10 followers
October 13, 2014
As someone with a lifelong pattern of miscommunication, I was very excited to read Blamestorming by Rob Kendall. I was expecting to be taking lots of notes, however the author does a fantastic job of breaking conversations down and showing how they go bad, as well as how they can be fixed or at least made more effective. I believe most everyone could benefit from reading this book, as so much of our modern lifestyle is interdependent on how clearly we communicate. I like how Mr. Kendall describes conversations as creative yet messy. So often we can think we're really getting along with someone, oblivious to the train wreck fast approaching. Blamestorming:" Why Conversations go Wrong and How to Fix Them" is a very thought provoking read. It contains easily absorbed information, and colorfully stated concepts that are simple to remember, making them easily accessible, powerful strategies. Another thing that's nice about this book, is that it isn't a total overhaul prescription for changing the way you interact and express yourself through conversation, it's more like a guide for avoiding common pitfalls. Excellent book. I was sent a review copy by the publisher. I was not financially compensated, and the opinion expressed in this review is my honest assessment.
Profile Image for Annabel.
334 reviews3 followers
October 1, 2014
As soon as I received this book, I really enjoyed the aesthetics of it - the unique size, glossy pages and colour scheme (purple text!)

The text provides realistic, everyday examples of conversations and pinpoints the point at which it starts to 'go wrong'. The book is also clearly marked out into sections and chapters, although there is a lot of text on each page, and the font is quite small. However, its all in a chronological kind of order, and all of the advice is relevant and relatable for pretty much everyone, covering all types of situations and relationships. The Step 1/Step 2 action points are really helpful, quick reads.

The tone of the text was just right - not patronising/simplistic, yet not overly wordy or complicated, keeping the reader on track and moving at a fair pace the whole time.

Definitely worth a read for anyone who wants to brush up on their social skills, or feel they always put their foot in it and say the wrong thing!

I received this book as part of Goodreads Firstreads and I am grateful to the author, the publisher and to Goodreads for sending it to me.
1 review1 follower
May 10, 2016
Blamestorming - why conversations go wrong and how to fix them. How could I pass up the chance to find out the answer to this? And I'm delighted I didn't because this book is brilliant. The title and cover caught my eye straight away - though I try hard not to be influenced by front covers - I'm only human - bright colours and simple graphics drew me in without fear of being overwhelmed by too much heavy going psychology or bored by bland nothing-newness. Blamestorming takes a refreshingly new but wise approach to the old issue of how to speak and listen effectively in everyday life. It's very readable and the sound practical teaching is easy to follow and apply. I've found it's made a huge difference already in my conversations at work and home. 5 stars!
3 reviews
October 8, 2014
>-> I RECEIVED THIS BOOK FOR FREE AS PART OF GOODREADS FIRST READS <-<

While the layout may seem daunting and a tad confusing at first, the information in ths book has been a gift on how to avoid confrontations with my family and partner. While I haven't had the opportunity to fully complete this book, I will update my review when I finally get time to sit and give it a full and throrough read, that Rob's research and analysis truly deserves.

An undiscovered and very useful little gem if you ask me!
10 reviews
December 14, 2014
I received this as part of the goodreads first reads scheme.

A fabulous little book. Full of easy to read chapters which build on each other and also stand alone.
Theory combined with examples make this an accessible book which I will turn to on a regular basis.
Everyone can improve their conversation skills and this is the perfect starting place. After reading this I found myself better equipped to analyse what is happening and ensure that discussions are kept on track.

I would recommend this to everyone open to improving their discourse.
Profile Image for Nome Stephenson.
3 reviews1 follower
November 6, 2014
I RECEIVED THIS BOOK FOR FREE AS PART OF GOODREADS FIRST READS

Due to the information and easy to understand set up in this book I have learnt to avoid confrontations with my family, partner and while at work. I loved the layout which makes this very easy to read. The research has been through and set in such a way that if you want to refer back at any point you can. Wonderful book that is really helping in everyday life.
Profile Image for Amanda-judith Danso.
7 reviews15 followers
July 23, 2016
(goodreads competition win)

I am so thankful for this book. Where has it been all my life!
The examples within this book are so helpful and precise to everyday issues (or my everyday problems). such a little book packed with such useful information to help avoid arguments and misunderstandings that lead to fall outs. This book brings forth the understanding of, communication is key but showing how much so. Everyone needs this book in there life.
2 reviews1 follower
February 21, 2016
Blamestorming is absolutely packed with advice and wisdom on turning difficult and negative conversations around, helping enrich relationships and conversations with family, friends and colleagues. The text itself is engaging and very easy to read and understand, and I believe that everyone would benefit from Rob Kendall's exceptional take on conversations in our everyday lives - definitely recommend to all!
Profile Image for Jml.
33 reviews
April 25, 2016
Blamestorming is a well-constructed guide to better communication. It is written in an understandable yet non-patronizing tone with advice that would be relevant and relatable for pretty much everyone, covering all types of situations and relationships. It offers realistic, everyday examples of conversations and pinpoints the point at which it starts to 'go wrong'. The step-by-step action points break down the “what to do” section. I received this book as part of the Goodreads Giveaway.
Profile Image for Rachel Bustin.
247 reviews54 followers
October 27, 2014
I recieved this book as part of the Goodreads Giveaway. I thought it was a well written book, with an eyecatching cover. I have never read a book like this before so was uncertain of what to expect.

I have decided to pass it along to my brother to read after I have gone through it quickly again, Its a book that deserves to be read by as many people as possible.
2 reviews
October 5, 2014
A really good addition to the business/self help genre. Well written, and excellent examples with characters that the majority of people would be able to relate to. Would recommend it to anybody who is serious about getting more out of life, and their career.
1 review
March 13, 2015
Blamestorming is a very practical and well-crafted book which will help you get more powerful outcomes from everyday conversations.
I particularly like chapters 5 and 6 on Questioning (to decode subtexts) and Listening.
Also really enjoyed the examples from Rob’s own life experience.
Profile Image for Elliot Richards.
246 reviews1 follower
February 16, 2015
A good read, and whilst I don't agree with everything, I found a lot of useful information that I hope to use as I increase my interest in developing good conversations.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews

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