And Then I Am Gone: A Walk with Thoreau

by Mathias B. Freese

And Then I Am A Walk with Thoreau tells the story of a New York City man who becomes an Alabama man. Despite his radical migration to simpler living and a late-life marriage to a saint of sorts, his persistent pet anxieties and unanswerable questions follow him. Mathias Freese wants his retreat from the societal "it" to be a brave safari for the self rather than cowardly avoidance, so who better to guide him but Henry David Thoreau, the self-aware philosopher who retreated to Walden Pond "to live deliberately" and cease "the hurry and waste of life"? In this memoir, Freese wishes to share how and why he came to Harvest, Alabama (both literally and figuratively), to impart his existential impressions and concerns, and to leave his mark before he is gone.

About the Author

Mathias B. Freese is a writer, teacher, and psychotherapist who has authored six books. His I Truly Working Through the Holocaust won the Beverly Hills Book Awards and the Reader's Favorite Book Award, and it was a finalist in the Indie Excellence Book Awards, the Paris Book Festival, and the Amsterdam Book Festival. In 2016 A Memoir of Two Summers, his first memoir, received seven awards.

126 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 21, 2017

Reviews

[Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘The woods were a testing of your self-awareness, weren’t they?’

Mathias B. Freese is a writer, teacher, and psychotherapist. His recent collection of essays, THS MOBIUS STRIP OF IFS, was the winner of the National Indie Excellence Book Award of 2012 in general nonfiction and a 2012 Global Ebook Award finalist. His I TRULY LAMENT: WORKING THROUGH THE HOLOCAUST was one of three finalists chosen in the 2012 Leapfrog Press Fiction Contest out of 424 submissions. The same quality of humanity shines through on every page of his ’memoir’ TESSERAE– a sacred vessel of memoires and how they nurture us – received seven awards. And now he brings us AND THEN I AM GONE: A WALK WITH THOREAU

The title of this luminous book – AND THEN I AM GONE – conjures a diary’s end, a ‘last note’, a suicide letter, but none of those ideas is in these radiant pages. As will as all of Matt’s books this is a book of philosophy, a reflection of a life of meaning and of living and finally coming to face the need to have it all make sense. To borrow from another of his books, ‘What is it to remember? To recall, retrieve, reflect, to go back for a moment, to feel a period of time long since gone. What is it to have memory in this organic memory box that we own? What purpose does the past serve in the present other than societal clichés about it? Why do we have associative feelings when we dredge up an early memory? What is memory’s purpose?’

Matt moves from New York City to Harvest, Alabama seeing simplicity: ‘Here I am in Harvest, Alabama… I came to Harvest for my last inning. Harvest promises some substance before I take my last swan dive into oblivion. There is a line in a B movie, Marguerite, that grabs my attention: “To exist is to insist.” There is much existential weight to that. When insistence ends, we end. I came to Harvest for the last roundup, to make my insistence apparent to me first and then others—if they care at all.’

But instead of somnolence of thinking he instead blends with Thoreau’s existential philosophy. Matt wants his retreat from the societal "it" to be a brave safari for the self rather than cowardly avoidance, so who better to guide him but Henry David Thoreau, the self-aware philosopher who retreated to Walden Pond "to live deliberately" and cease "the hurry and waste of life"?
Part 1 is that preparation: Part 2 is Matt’s walk with Thoreau. And that is enough to beckon you into this lovely book.

In addition to being profoundly inspiring to read this book interjects humor so pungent in recognition of our times – ‘When I think of America’s current president, Donald Trump, a living malapropism, I feel mortified that he exists, Henry, that his corruptive and corrupting self is gangrenous. He would appall you and your counterpart, Emerson. I am so disappointed with my fellow Americans, but most societies wane and fall, and this nation is in that dynamic. When I go into the street I feel I need to use an umbrella to keep me from all the s**t raining down. Excuse my language, Henry. There will be more.’

If you are able to resist plunging into this comforter then perhaps you need this book even more than most. Matt is wise, thoughtful, inspiring and a very fine writer. Highly Recommended.

[Fran · Rating 5 out of 5]

And Then I Am Gone: Mathias Freese


What if everyone lived within the inside of a box so thick that they could not see what was behind the corners or upper lid and never realizing what lies behind the confines of this box? What if you world was so fragile and breakable that all you see is what is right in front of you and not what is around you? What if you lived inside the shell an uncooked egg and each time you moved around just a little bit of the shell came apart and what you begin to see is not what others want you to see but what is really there? For the first time you view the world, slowly at first and then when the entire shell cracks and is no longer protecting you within its shell you begin to see, question, listen and explore the amazing world that has been hidden from you for so long? What if students were encouraged to asked questions and received more than just the expected or canned answers written in the teacher’s edition of a textbook? What if students were actually taught not spoon-fed and required to seek what is deeper than what appears on the printed page of a textbook that is outdated as soon as it is printed. New information is recorded daily on the net, new research is done everyday and textbooks are only current until a new one is written and more information added which outdates the first but soon that one too.
What if you could replay your life and rewind it or even fast- forward it to the end to see what your final days would be? How do you want to leave this world and what kind of legacy will help others remember you? Mathias Freese takes readers on a walk through his life as Thoreau walked through Walden Pond he takes us to Harvest, Alabama where he restarts his journey until he finds his path and where he will ultimately wind up. Questions there are so many and the author shares his open thoughts and his regrets, recriminations and his successes as we begin our walk with him and Thoreau.
As Walden shares his thoughts and reflections about living in a natural setting or surroundings, a simple life so does our author declare his personal declaration of independence in a raw, honest and bold manner of writing allowing readers to take the journey of discovery along with him. Walden went into the woods because he wanted to live deliberately, to “front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. The author relates that he went into the woods, as he states not out of ignorance, not as a seeker or from personal confusion. Thoreau knew the woods had no answers, maybe only better questions to ask. The woods were a testing of his self-awareness and states that he was not a blind man in search of a false cure.
Freese states that there was an extended time in his life that he did not register others and yet Thoreau did give readers his registered self. As he reflects upon his life he is still concerned with meaning. Thoreau he states did not want to live what was not life. He did not want to practice resignation. His book has three themes that come to light even in this one: Economy where he outlines a two-year, two-month stay at a cozy cottage in the woods near Walden Pond. Freese moves into this isolated area where there are few amenities available but like Thoreau all he needs was food, shelter, clothing and fuel. Simplified lifestyle for both men. Reading is the second theme that runs through Thoreau’s work and Freese’s too. They both talk the rewards of reading classical literature and yet he quotes other authors too. In the chapter titled Control we get a clearer perspective of this author as he explains while scribbling down his thoughts in an attempt to write a new book. He relates his fear of getting a stroke and the stress of the impending sale of his home in Nevada. At times he seems to stress out about things that he can actually do something about and stop worrying about it. He created list and hopes before he is gone to complete it. Like Thoreau he contemplates his existence and the sole consolation is an old as mankind itself: to find solace in a loved on which he finally does in his soon to be wife. Control is what keeps him centered and under control you might say. He relates why he needs control and explains: Control is a significant part of his character. Control: The need has been with him since he was placed, in a bassinet. When he leaves this world and gives up control will probably be as painful as the dying process itself. Sounds are the final theme in Thoreau’s work and sounds come to light within this one too. Both were always on the alert and looking always at what is to be seen. Using literature as their guide and as he relates the beauty of Harvest and the truth that can be found in nature. The rippling of water, the birds that find themselves outside his yard or in the woods, the music of nature is breathtaking and a comfort to his mind and soul. Solitude is another theme that both reflects and how at times they both feel and explain how it is to be alone, feel loneliness even when someone is there yet Freese relates his sadness at being estranged from his daughter and wanting to be closer to his son, Jordan. Family ties mean a lot but over the years they have been broken and he has tried to retie them but has failed when it comes to his daughter. Both authors relate the importance of solitude, contemplation and closeness to nature and each one seeking to meaning of existence. The theme of solitude comes through on page 27 when the states that is hard to go on, for writing is a lonely effort, perhaps as lonely as living in solitude in the woods. Thoreau he states had guts during the nightfall when he was twice alone in the darkness of his own self as in the outer darkness. Freese feels the unsaid, the feeling beneath the surface feeling. On page 31 he relates that he believes the artist is in a state of external giving to the world and when examining his motives or reasons as a teacher, psychotherapist, and writer, it all comes down to the massive lifetime donation. Self-reliance, Simplicity and Progress are brought out in both works as Thoreau refuses to need the companionship of others and Freese other than his wife and a few neighbors is isolated from human interaction too. Both note that it is important but neither search for it. Both want to simplicity of life and technology does not interest Freese nor does he own a Smart Phone or any other modern convenience except a computer to write and the Internet to do research and stay somewhat in touch with the world. Living in an area where the connections are not great at times he is totally isolated.
Writing I Truly Lament: Working Through the Holocaust was because of the many who resisted or denied that it happened. Writers create little worlds he states that we are the gods of these worlds. Writing has meaning and you have something to say but readers see things or see something else. Every reviewer sees the words and thoughts of an author in their own way and some relate the right meanings and dig down deep to understand the message being related while others stick to the surface structure and get the bare facts. He writes to express his passionate feeling about many things.
Both authors deal with debts in their own way as he states as in the Thoreauvian fashion should he detail the costs of moving into his hut but he itemizes it for the reader in detail in the chapter titled Inventory. He hopes to reconcile with his daughter as he relates his feelings for being estranged from her on page 79.
The chapter about Jordan was compelling as he finally introduces him to his wife and their relationship might not be on a smooth surface but at least he came for a while. I really loved the chapter Dive and Delve and his references to Darwin, Rosebud and Freud. Charles Foster Kane whispers Rosebud in the movie Citizen Kane a classic on his deathbed and the author states that he grasps its gravitas better now at 76. The sled had so much meaning for him, condensed meaning, the condensation symbols were experience in many dreams he says like archaeological layers. He expands on this reflection in the remainder of the chapter. The Three Touchstones really sums it up as the first he states involves a mentor of his whom he holds in high esteem and considers the most intelligent or smartest man he ever met. He explains it on page 99 the final paragraph. The second touchtone was a comment his mentor made to someone who asked how she could access me, as she found it difficult. The response was quite interesting as he said: Matt needs to be felt. Matt never made his own acquaintance and seems as the memoir comes to a close that without his wife, Nina, he might not have anyone around to give him a huge hug.
The final touchtone happened in 1970 when he was dating Rochelle and a tie. I’ll leave that to you the reader to learn why she said that the tie was beautiful and how he dealt with it. The ending of this chapter focuses on Mr. O. his therapist who seemed disjointed, unfeeling, disinterested and did not conduct a client-centered session. A real walk focuses on more references to Thoreau, others who have read him and their impressions. But, someone invented a game to coincide with Thoreau’s 200 birthday so maybe more teens and adults would be inspired to learn more about him and see how high up in the levels they would go. Part II focuses on his feelings about his new home and he describes it so vividly you would think he and Henry were there walking together. Anxiety, dread, fear, angst, denial of death on vividly on his mind all the time and concludes by telling Henry that when reading Walden he sees signposts that he built or erected for the astray and lost. At times Mathias still seems to be trying to find himself, where he wants to go and what he wants to do before he leaves this world. Mathias you cannot as you state on the last page do anything about your mortality but you can live each moment, enjoy your precious Nina, writing your outstanding books, keep readers challenged and definitely keep talking, keep walking and do not worry about thinking or feeling not yet since you have to write and share with the world way before you finally say: AND THEN I AM GONE.
Fran Lewis: Just reviews/MJ magazine

[Jessica Bronder · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story of reflection as Matt tells about moving from his home in Henderson, NV to Harvest, AL. He reminisces about events in his life and how Henry Thoreau would look at them. Being in his seventies he is suffering from that dreaded necessity, old age. You will also see how this has an effect on his and Nina’s lives.

This was an interesting trip as Matt analysis his life and brings you to the closing line “And then I am gone.” He is trying to live a simpler life without fret and worry about things that he cannot control but these things inevitably creep into his life.

I will say that the one thing that really stuck with me was when he was talking about why he writes. “I write because I am compelled to do so by my feelings and thoughts, all that noise in the crankcase of my mind. I believe that writing as an ordering of the cacophony we all have in our minds.” What a great way to explain the reasoning behind writing.

This is a wonderful story. Not everything is perfect but we must keep trudging through this thing we call life and do the best that we can.

I received And Then I Am Gone from the author for free. This has in no way influenced my opinion of this book.

[Elias · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a genre I don’t often get to read because while I’m pretty nosy and interested in the lives and perspectives of others, I’m also slightly picky as to which lives I get to know. I’m someone who needs a kick in the butt or a fire lit under me from time-to-time in order to function in life, so when I read about others, I like to read insightful and motivational experiences. When Mr. Freese contacted me about reading his book, And Then I Am Gone: A Walk with Thoreau, I was excited to read about someone’s personal experience through life’s crazy adventure mixed with a splash of transcendentalism. In all my year’s studying literature in its various forms, the segment of the transcendental movement in American Literature spoke to my heart. I judged a book by its cover and got suckered in by the name “Thoreau”. This was the first I had read of Mathias Freese and it was an interesting journey.

Freese moves from the fast-paced way of being in New York to the quiet solitude of Alabama. His days consist of reflections, advice, and general pondering about not only his life, but society in general.

While I enjoyed his elegant writing style and agreed with people as a whole, and our abilities to triumph or fall, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of a disconnect with this story. I think if I were a little older and at a different point in my life, I would have related to the author and his experiences more. Instead, I felt like I was listening to my father talk about a good or bad day, or what ailment was bothering him and how he was coping at the particular moment. While not quite on the same page as the author, I respected Freese’s experience and admired his accomplishments. It made me feel like I was listening to the advice of a relative or family friend for how to mold my future.

As much as I appreciated those factors of the story, I missed some of the more transcendental factors sprinkled throughout the book. I read these pages as guidelines and the dos and donts of life rather than reflection and clarity that comes from tranquility and nature. I think if this memoir had ore of those elements added into the pages, I probably could’ve meditated more throughout the course of the story.

Still, if you need a pick me up or insights from someone who has been there and is telling of his experience for not only his own benefit, but also to bestow his knowledge to others, this is a deep yet quick read that does leave you walking away feeling full of new knowledge and motivation to tackle the road ahead of you.

[Bookish Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is one thing people realize once they come to their “twilight” years. They have more of a past than a future. This is a time when they often take stock of their lives – good, the bad and the ugly. Writer, teacher and psychotherapist Mathias B. Freese is one these people, and now he shares his journey in his thoughtful memoir And Then I Am Gone: A Walk with Thoreau.

Thoreau, of course is Henry David Thoreau author of the classic Walden Pond, which many of us probably read back in high school. For Freese, Thoreau is a muse who guides him during his journey of self-examination. Ultimately Freese is asking himself, not the cliché “What is the meaning of life?” but “What is the meaning of my life.”

And Then I Am Gone is divided into two parts. Part one sets up the tone for the book and provides several chapters focusing on moving to Alabama, finding happiness with Nina, a past love affair, his relationship with his children and his own childhood, his thoughts on Trump, writer Norman Mailer, the movie Citizen Kane, and Thoreau as therapy. Part two focuses on Freese’s new life in a new home, his journey with Thoreau and coming to grips with his own mortality.

Born and bred in New York City, Freese is a secular Jewish man now living in Alabama with his southern belle, Nina, an Irish-American Roman Catholic. Not surprisingly, Freese finds country life below the Mason-Dixon line a complete cultural shock and often has difficulty navigating a world so different from the hustle and bustle of city life. However, it does force him to come to grips with his past. Freese has had success with his professional life, but his personal life was often in shambles. Childhood was difficult with a mother suffering with mental illness. Freese has been married and divorced a few times, and is also estranged from his daughter but is closer to his son Jordan.

Okay, Thoreau. Just what is life all about, hmm? Freese wants to know, You wrote a damn book about it. Surely you’ve got the goods. Now pony up!

Freese has questions and Thoreau provides answers, which often leads to Freese having more questions. Needless, say this can be quite maddening, which often leaves Freese feeling downright pessimistic.

But as I kept reading And Then I Am Gone, I thought to myself. Well, maybe we’re not always meant to have all the answers to our questions after we ask them, whether we ask Thoreau, our best friend, a therapist, our horoscope or a stranger on the street. At times those answers will leave us not exactly happy or more confused than before. Or sometimes we will find clear, concise advice or wise counsel in a time of confusion (especially in one of the most messed times in our nation’s history).

I found Freese’s book to be a true inspiration as I go through my own journey of self-exploration and after year of great difficulty, self-care. There are times I look for answers and feel nothing but despair and at times I feel true joy. We’re not supposed to solve the mysteries life and just accept things are going to be murky. At times we live life to the fullest and at times we are slackers on the couch. we should just live our lives the best we can before we are shuttled off this mortal coil.

I also appreciated Freese’s vivid style of writing. He can be a curmudgeon but he’s also wise, funny, a true storyteller. And Then I Am Gone is a treasure of a book.

Now if only I had kept that copy of Walden’s Pond….

Originally published at the Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...

[Andreas Michaelides · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
And Then I Am Gone – A Walk With Thoreau by Mathias B. Freese is beautiful, to say the least, autobiographical story of the author.
To better understand his word, you must definitely read Walden and Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau.
The author manages to turn his life into a fascinating reading full of useful everyday information and also to evoke feelings of various degrees.
I found myself mostly agreeing with the author, and it was a bit awry because at some point I saw the authors life as a projection of my own 35 years from now. I don’t know maybe it's just me, but I am sure after you read this book you will definitely feel much better about yourself.
Despite the slight pessimist tone of the book a beautiful hope of creation and zest for life is present, and if you take a perfect look, you can see it between the lines.
The author exposures his life as a father with his fails and successes, as a husband and a lover and successfully manages to evoke strong associations and connections with his reader because he is genuine and cannot pretend or lie, first to himself and second to other people.
It is an influential book that will make you think differently, feel big and act even more significant.
If you like a good story, then Mathias Freese is an excellent one. Being a teacher for many years, he couldn’t leave out on how to construct a story and show us how his mind works.
The book for you I am a perfect example of a man that has an ideal comment of the English language and also knows how to plot and design a story that will make you want to read until the end.
A ton of books on how to become a better man and better writer like The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr which I already ordered and I am waiting for it anxiously.
I really loved his psychotherapy sessions with different doctors because they made me smile and also see that is very difficult to find a doctor these days that doesn’t objectify you and just see you as you really are. A human being that needs to be treated with respect and kindness.
Heraclitus said it best Character is destiny and believe me Mathias Freese life is worth reading and learning, it will make you a better person.
Highly Recommend it.

[Courtney · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to enjoy this memoir associated with Thoreau! Although some nuggets of wisdom weaved into the narrative, I feel that my attention was lost a number of times throughout. I will say this type of writing is not in my wheelhouse, and I am glad to have experienced a different form of narrative and perspective sharing. My expectation was that we would delve into Freese's transition and struggle with this new way of life and what he learns in this simple living. My experience with the memoir took me throughout his life and the roller coaster of emotions when it comes to politics and strong opinions. I admire his unapologetic nature to say how things are and what he believes in. We need more authors who are that honest and brave, that don't hide behind fluff and what they think the readers want to hear.

I found the musings to be in line with a personal letter to/conversation with Henry Thoreau. However, these seemed thrown in as afterthoughts following an intense narrative about a defining experience, such as his daughter's suicide, his other daughter's cutting of ties, and the reaction to Trump's presidential win. As an aspiring writer, I loved his passionate telling of his craft, saying "(m)any new and old writers are consumed by fear, and this reflects in their lives and in their writings. In another month or so I will give a talk about acts of empathy and imagination, my own personal haunts, in a writer's workshop. My task is to expend my passion, my wit, my sensibilities on individuals who may or may not get it. I say do not write, but passion-ate. I must say that I am very grateful I can write; it is my lyre, my unguent, my balletic step, my aria, and I feel blessed, for I hewed it out of granite. I made me" (Freese 40). Embracing the fear and using it gives way to moments of clarity and awareness, the latter a key theme pressed upon. He continues later, "I write not to be read, necessarily, although that is sweet as well, for it leads to conversation, good feelings, and good talk. I do not write to be known" (Freese 43).

Other challenges with my engagement in the text included the lofty use of big words and aspiring for magnanimous and life-altering text regardless of the nature of Thoreau and simplicity.

Read And Then I am Gone - A Walk with Thoreau if you like the themes of:

Existentialism
Self-Awareness
Passion

[Jay Odd · Rating 4 out of 5]

And Then I Am Gone is a curious collection of things. Mostly, it’s a diary of a 76-year-old man (Freese). I hope he doesn’t mind but I also think it can be described as the ramblings of a 76-year-old man. Freese jumps around all over the place, telling us about his days, his family, wife, career, thoughts on politics, books, films and neighbors. This is what makes the book so enjoyable to read.

It’s as though we’re privy to a man’s thoughts as they come and go, naturally and freely. Freese is extremely honest and I can’t imagine anyone getting to the end of the book without disagreeing with him at least once or twice.

My favourite parts are when he writes in a more direct style, beginning paragraphs with direct observations: “Today was difficult.” and “Today is the third night of Hanukkah, and Nina is dismantling the artificial Christmas tree.”

Mathias Freese and I couldn’t be more different. He’s a 76-year-old American man. An atheist Jew. A father and a husband. I am a 31-year-old English woman who still writes “girl” and then has to back-space. A spiritualist. A girlfriend and mother only to cats so far.

But to read the honest thoughts of a human being brings about a certain closeness between author and reader. I want to know that people are scared of death, that they still have loving sex in their seventies, that they get riled over their neighbors and are desperate for their families to know how deeply they love them.

Perhaps you think that you don’t need to know these things, that they sound mundane. I think anyone would enjoy this book and find comfort in it. I hope that Mathias finds comfort when people enjoy the read too.

Review on ExaminingTheOdd - https://examiningtheodd.com/2018/01/1...

[Porter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rekindled my desire to think and feel more deeply

At the end of my first day with "And Then I Am Gone: A Walk with Thoreau" by Mathias Freese, I found I was nearly three-quarters finished. After that I throttled my reading to only one chapter per day, or even just a couple of sections... simply put because I didn't want it to end.

Freese writes a brutally honest, insightful and engaging account of his physical and emotional journeys, of his relationships and of his festering inner-demons. He also shares his unique behind the scenes look into his creative process. While there are occasional moments in the book that feel like a little bite on tin-foil, there are deep life lessons for the observant reader spread throughout the book. Here the reader benefits from the author's background and breadth of experience: six times published Author, Teacher, Psychotherapist and a man who has endured many tragedies in life.

I highly recommend this book for those who want to enter the inner-sanctum of the author, hear his intimate thoughts and observations, and share this moment of time with him, this exclusive "Walk with Thoreau", in Harvest, Alabama. Freese's profound awareness and insight, his gift of deep thought and feeling, and the ability to write so honestly and beautifully is inspiring and has rekindled my desire to pause from the fast pace of life, and think and feel more deeply.

[Diana Stevan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a few of Mathias B. Freese's book and I've never been disappointed. He is an exceptional writer, who shares his perspective, gained through his work as a psychotherapist, and also as a recipient of psychotherapy himself. This book appealed to me, as it portrays one man's choices and how he measures them in the winter of his life.

I've been to Thoreau's Walden Pond, so I welcomed the author's choice to walk with him and talk to him. Mathias B. Freese does not go gently in the night. He is candid about his own faults as well as his own strengths. He shares not only his difficulties moving geographically in the USA from an urban lifestyle in his beloved New York City to a rural home in Alabama, but also his sadness over his broken relationship with his daughter. The latter is balanced by his loving words about Nina, the new partner in his life.

His writing is at times uplifting, at times depressing, but that's what life is. The loss of health, family ties and place are not easy subjects, but Mathias B. Freese does it with grace and honesty. And woven in all of that is a nice dose of Thoreau.

[S. Jeyran Main · Rating 4 out of 5]

And Then I am Gone is a short memoir. Mathias moves from New York to Alabama and allows us into his world of reflections and the experiences he encounters on his journey. There is no doubt that the author wishes to leave something behind and to make some difference with this book.

The point of a memoir is to learn or take something from the person’s life and implement it into our own. I believe the author did succeed in doing so.

As the author is a psychotherapist, I did not doubt that the work was going to have quality and have an educational touch to it. His perspective towards life and his thoughts were truly enjoyable to read. The book wasn’t all ups and cherries on a cake. They had some lows as well as every other life does, however, what made this book different was it pure nature of giving and reflection.

Since the author has the ability to demonstrate his strength in writing a memoir, I believe the work would have benefited if it was longer. The literature comes with a purpose and is suitable for people that like to read real-life stories.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author graciously sent me this book for an honest review. It is as follows:
I just made it past the first chapter and that was forcing myself to read it.
It is much more scholarly than a relaxing book for enjoyment, though I did understand the unnecessarily tedious language. (It felt as if he needed to show how intelligent he was). However, piousness of the author, and, the almost blatant disdain he seems to have toward women, (As shown on the first page of the second chapter.) made it impossible for me to read further.
I have been known to keep most all the books I've ever read. Even if I don't like them. I can usually find something beneficial to myself or another from even the most disastrous one. However, this one I will not, it went directly into the trash. Because, I can not find anything beneficial to anyone I know in just the few pages I read. Instead, it not only frustrated me, but, angered me.
If this is an example of his other books, I don't find it necessary to read them.

[Ruth B · Rating 4 out of 5]

'And Then I Am Gone'... a non-fiction that it could be the voice of any fictional character but is the real voice of author Mathias B. Freese. A man who moves from New York to Alabama and brings Thoreau to takes us on a journey through his life, his thoughts, errors, and successes. A life that like many other is full of richness and wisdom, a life that is far from perfect but it's real.

I'm not very familiar with Thoreau but still, I enjoyed the book because he is not the protagonist of this story, he only comes to help Mathias with his goal. Write a book with a powerful message before the end comes.

I enjoyed the writing and the passing. I loved the part where he asks himself: Why does he write? His intensive analysis is comparable to any other activity in our lives, it's a profound reflexion on why do we do the things we do? What are we ultimate looking for, what are our motivations? In essence, what is that we want from life? what's the meaning of our lives?

*** I received a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review. ***

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

In full disclosure, I have never read Thoreau. But when the author of this book reached out to me and I read the information about a city guy moving to a more rural place, I thought I would give it a try. This book was an interesting read and I am glad that I picked it up.

In the book, we gain a much broader understanding of the author, who wants to be, who he becomes, and what he thinks about in the world. I think that there is some vulnerability in the book and I appreciate it because it comes across as sincere.

Thanks for the opportunity to read this book.

[Tracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5*

http://www.freshcoffeeblog.com/2018/0...

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

One of the most thought provoking memoirs in recent years challenges readers to examine not only the world around them but how they are living their lives in author Mathias B. Freese's novel And Then I Am Gone: A Walk With Thoreau. Here's the full synopsis:

And Then I Am Gone: A Walk with Thoreau tells the story of a New York City man who becomes an Alabama man. Despite his radical migration to simpler living and a late-life marriage to a saint of sorts, his persistent pet anxieties and unanswerable questions follow him. Mathias Freese wants his retreat from the societal "it" to be a brave safari for the self rather than cowardly avoidance, so who better to guide him but Henry David Thoreau, the self-aware philosopher who retreated to Walden Pond "to live deliberately" and cease "the hurry and waste of life"? In this memoir, Freese wishes to share how and why he came to Harvest, Alabama (both literally and figuratively), to impart his existential impressions and concerns, and to leave his mark before he is gone.


This was one of the most unique and creative memoirs I've read in recent years. The story of the author's journey in his later years in life allow us as readers to take the time to appreciate not only our own lives, but challenges us to think critically and take the time to find meaning in our lives. It does a marvelous job of using past life experiences, history, humor and classic pop culture references to contemplate the current state of our world. From the rise of Donald Trump as the United States President and what it says about the mentality of the nation as a whole to the hours spent on subjects like religion and life views that end up dividing us when there's no need for it, this book is a perfect read for anyone looking to find meaning and purpose.

Written almost like a diary entry or an actual conversation between the author and the philosopher Henry David Thoreau himself, this story exudes insight, psychology and honesty. It shows the power of hope in tumultuous times, while also showing the history of the world and the threat of being doomed to repeat it in our modern times. It's as much a reflection on our society as it is on himself, and despite the title's ominous overtones, this story is not one of loss and hopelessness but one of learning from our own pasts and finding the will to reflect on our lives and come to terms with it. It's a story of love, loss and life itself, and deserves to be read. If you haven't yet, be sure to pick up your copies of And Then I Am Gone: A Walk With Thoreau by Mathias B. Freese today!