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Becoming Strangers
After more than half a century of marriage, Dorothy and George are embarking on their first journey abroad together. Three decades younger, Jan and Annemieke are taking their last, as illness and incompatibility bring their unhappy union to an end. At first the luxury of a Caribbean resort is no match for the well-worn patterns of domestic life. Then the couples' paths cross, and a series of surprises ensues--a disappearance and an assault, most dramatically, but also a teapot tempest of passions, slights, misunderstandings, and small awakenings that punctuate a week in which each pair struggles to come to terms with what's been keeping them apart.
A hit with readers and critics alike when it was published, Becoming Strangers is a different kind of love story, in which there's seldom a happy ending but sometimes a chance to redeem a life half-lived.
Longlisted for the Man Booker prize. Winner of The Betty Trask Prize. Winner of Le Prince Maurice. Nominated for The Guardian First Book Award. Longlisted for IMPAC. Named by The Observer and The Independent as one of the best books of the year.
'I have read Becoming Strangers with pleasure and admiration.' J.M.Coetzee.
'Remarkably moving. The first half [of the book] is a fine display of economic writing, never wasting a word and yet revealing a wealth of emotion, history, and desire. It reads like mature Anne Tyler . . . The second half, as the action accelerates, is even better, both page-turning and heart-breaking. This is the sort of book that makes you want to immediately go back to page one and start again . . . One of the best books of the year.'The Independent.
'Quite exceptional . . . There aren’t many first-time novelists I’d dare to compare to Alan Bennett, but Louise Dean has his wicked yet empathetic eye, his ear for pathos, and his almost supernatural talent for observing and measuring the comedy and tragedy of ordinary, heartfelt lives.' The Guardian
‘Very accomplished . . . Dean has a deliciously lucid and seemingly effortless style, as well as the gift of being able to write about each character from the inside, making their motives and actions clear. She has an unerring ear for dialogue, particularly between married couples . . . An exceptionally enjoyable book.’ Daily Mail
‘The best book in its genre that I have read in a long time’ Jenni Murray, Woman’s Hour
‘Both heartbreaking and thrilling. Dean deserves a huge readership’ The Times
‘All her characters are perfectly conceived, their inner dialogues spot on, her observations so sharp they make you wince’ Time Out
‘It’s quite hard to put into words the special qualities of this novel, although you feel these at once when you begin to read it. A very accomplished piece of writing.’ Helen Dunmore
'Breathtaking . . . Dean crafts a gut-wrenching tale of marital recklessness and guilt that is reminiscent of John Updike at his most masterful . . . Becoming Strangers is poignant, authentic, funny and extraordinary. For Dean, it marks the beginning of what promises to be a spectacular career.' San Francisco Chronicle
'Dean peels back the skin of these marriages with an unflinching lack of sentimentality and an immense talent for close observation and evocative, often poetic detail. She can reach straight into a character’s heart . . . The ending is unexpected, yet entirely deserved. Dean has produced an ideal novel.' The Atlantic Monthly
‘I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the end, I was so uplifted, I did both’ Julie Myerson
A hit with readers and critics alike when it was published, Becoming Strangers is a different kind of love story, in which there's seldom a happy ending but sometimes a chance to redeem a life half-lived.
Longlisted for the Man Booker prize. Winner of The Betty Trask Prize. Winner of Le Prince Maurice. Nominated for The Guardian First Book Award. Longlisted for IMPAC. Named by The Observer and The Independent as one of the best books of the year.
'I have read Becoming Strangers with pleasure and admiration.' J.M.Coetzee.
'Remarkably moving. The first half [of the book] is a fine display of economic writing, never wasting a word and yet revealing a wealth of emotion, history, and desire. It reads like mature Anne Tyler . . . The second half, as the action accelerates, is even better, both page-turning and heart-breaking. This is the sort of book that makes you want to immediately go back to page one and start again . . . One of the best books of the year.'The Independent.
'Quite exceptional . . . There aren’t many first-time novelists I’d dare to compare to Alan Bennett, but Louise Dean has his wicked yet empathetic eye, his ear for pathos, and his almost supernatural talent for observing and measuring the comedy and tragedy of ordinary, heartfelt lives.' The Guardian
‘Very accomplished . . . Dean has a deliciously lucid and seemingly effortless style, as well as the gift of being able to write about each character from the inside, making their motives and actions clear. She has an unerring ear for dialogue, particularly between married couples . . . An exceptionally enjoyable book.’ Daily Mail
‘The best book in its genre that I have read in a long time’ Jenni Murray, Woman’s Hour
‘Both heartbreaking and thrilling. Dean deserves a huge readership’ The Times
‘All her characters are perfectly conceived, their inner dialogues spot on, her observations so sharp they make you wince’ Time Out
‘It’s quite hard to put into words the special qualities of this novel, although you feel these at once when you begin to read it. A very accomplished piece of writing.’ Helen Dunmore
'Breathtaking . . . Dean crafts a gut-wrenching tale of marital recklessness and guilt that is reminiscent of John Updike at his most masterful . . . Becoming Strangers is poignant, authentic, funny and extraordinary. For Dean, it marks the beginning of what promises to be a spectacular career.' San Francisco Chronicle
'Dean peels back the skin of these marriages with an unflinching lack of sentimentality and an immense talent for close observation and evocative, often poetic detail. She can reach straight into a character’s heart . . . The ending is unexpected, yet entirely deserved. Dean has produced an ideal novel.' The Atlantic Monthly
‘I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the end, I was so uplifted, I did both’ Julie Myerson
314 pages, ebook
First published January 8, 2004
38 people are currently reading
727 people want to read
About the author
Louise Dean
6 books55 followersLouise is the founder of Thenovelry.com. The online creative writing courses recommended by the world's leading literary agencies with five-star reviews.
Louise Dean has won the Betty Trask Prize, Le Prince Maurice Prize, been nominated for The Guardian First Book Prize, and longlisted for the Booker Prize. Her first book 'Becoming Strangers' was named one of The Observer's top four books of the year.
'Louise Dean's fearless, frank and darkly comic novels have brought a fresh colour and character to English fiction.' Boyd Tonkin, The Independent.
'Dean is an audacious arrival in British fiction.’ The Guardian.
'Dean writes with beautifully controlled clarity about family ties, social class, the generation gap and the vanished England of the past. She’s extremely funny, but also humane and moving.' The Times.
'Dean has a deliciously lucid and seemingly effortless style…’ Daily Mail.
Louise teaches novel writing and short stories and has spoken at Hay on Wye, Brisbane, Galle and Edinburgh Festivals.
She has appeared on BBC News, Radio 4, Woman's Hour with Jenni Murray and Mariella Frostrup amongst others.
Louise was educated at Cambridge University and has lived and worked in the USA and France.
Louise Dean has won the Betty Trask Prize, Le Prince Maurice Prize, been nominated for The Guardian First Book Prize, and longlisted for the Booker Prize. Her first book 'Becoming Strangers' was named one of The Observer's top four books of the year.
'Louise Dean's fearless, frank and darkly comic novels have brought a fresh colour and character to English fiction.' Boyd Tonkin, The Independent.
'Dean is an audacious arrival in British fiction.’ The Guardian.
'Dean writes with beautifully controlled clarity about family ties, social class, the generation gap and the vanished England of the past. She’s extremely funny, but also humane and moving.' The Times.
'Dean has a deliciously lucid and seemingly effortless style…’ Daily Mail.
Louise teaches novel writing and short stories and has spoken at Hay on Wye, Brisbane, Galle and Edinburgh Festivals.
She has appeared on BBC News, Radio 4, Woman's Hour with Jenni Murray and Mariella Frostrup amongst others.
Louise was educated at Cambridge University and has lived and worked in the USA and France.
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August 21, 2023
بعض العجائز وصلوا أرذل العمر و يقومون بالكثير من الأشياء المشينة كالسُكر و القمار..إلخ.
كتاب مقزز و ترجمة سيئة.
كتاب مقزز و ترجمة سيئة.
August 18, 2016
دائمًا يبدأ الموضوع بعطلة لعجوزين أوشك أحدهما على الموت لمرض عضال ألم به، حينها يخلو كل واحد فيهم للآخر ويكتشف أنه ضيّع حياته مع الإنسان الخطأ، وأنه لم يفعل ما كان يجب أن يفعله طوال حياته، أن تعيش حياتك لمجرد أن تدفع بمركب الحياة لبر الأمان، أن تربط نفسك بالتزامات كاذبة وتقنع نفسك أنها تستحق أن تعيش هباء ، التزامات تتمثل في أسرة وزوجة وأبناء وعمل ، وكل ذلك لم تحبه أو تختاره بل ربطت نفسك، فقط.
رواية كلاسيكية ممتعة، عن مجموعة من العجائز البالغين من العمر أرذله، وتكشف الكاتبة ببراعة عن وجهة نظر هؤلاء في حياتهم وكيف قضوها وكيف اتضحت لهم الحقيقة متأخرة للغاية.
في المجمل، عمل بسيط ومباشر ومؤدي لغايته.
12-12-2015
رواية كلاسيكية ممتعة، عن مجموعة من العجائز البالغين من العمر أرذله، وتكشف الكاتبة ببراعة عن وجهة نظر هؤلاء في حياتهم وكيف قضوها وكيف اتضحت لهم الحقيقة متأخرة للغاية.
في المجمل، عمل بسيط ومباشر ومؤدي لغايته.
12-12-2015
April 4, 2015
حسنًا لنقل أنكم لستم بحاجة لقراءة هذه الرواية فقط يكفي أن تعرفوا شخصًا لطيفًا مثلي ليحكيها لكم باختصار لذا قد يمتليء هذا الريفيو حرق للأحداث و صدقوني قد لا ترغبون بقراءة هذه الرواية حقًا ..
دعوني ألخصها لكم ، الرواية ببساطة تستعرض زيجتان ف الأولى الزوج مصاب بالسرطان و سيموت و الثانية الزوجة في أولى مراحل آلزهايمر كلاهما يذهبان إلى رحلة في منتجع ما مترف .. من المفترض أنها تستعرض لنا الزوجة التي لا تطيق حياتها مع زوجها المصاب بالسرطان و في الجهة الأخرى الزوج الذي يرفض تصديق أن زوجته تعاني من آلزهايمر
بدايتها غير سلسة مطلقًا ، لنعترف ليس الكل يستطيع بدأ الرواية بشكل صحيح ، دعونا من القصة الآن سأحدثكم عنها بعد قليل أريد البدء بالترجمة..
منذ الصفحات الأولى و المترجم الموقر يختبر صبري بعبارات مثل "ملعون أبو السباحة ، "لوحدك ؟ " "خل بالك " و " شوية " ، حسنًا هو مترجم وغد من الدرجة الأولى "آلام فظيعة في المؤخرة " حسب ترجمته في الحقيقة لنقل أنني قد أتغاضى عن الكلمات العامية و الكلمات الفصحى المستخدمة في العامية لكنني بالتأكيد لا أستطيع التغاضي عن حرفية الترجمة ، إن لم تعرف كيف تتصرف في ترجمة جملة ما فخير لك و لنا ألا تترجمها على أن تترجمها حرفيًا ، ذكرني ذلك بترجمة لمئة عامة من العزلة كانت تقول أن هذا العالم سيتخوزق عندما تسافر الكتب في عربات الشحن أو شيء من هذا القبيل بينما ترجمها آخر أن العالم سوف ينزلق إلى الدرك الأسفل .
لنعد إلى الرواية كما قلت سابقًا ليست ببداية عظيمة و الترجمة جعلتها اسوأ ، مرت العديد و العديد من الصفحات حتى بدأت اعتاد الرواية من 400 صفحة بدأت اعتادها من الصفحة التسعون أو المائة مثلًا ، ربما هنا بدأت الحبكة بالظهور باختفاء الزوجة العجوز المصابة بالزهايمر ، أتدرون بماذا تذكرني هذه الرواية ؟ تذكرني بتلك المسلسلات الطويلة التي تتابع حياة الأفراد بمللها و تشويقها ، آه نعم دراما الحياة اليومية هي كذلك .. المشكلة الحقيقية ليست في كونها دراما حياة يومية السوء يكمن في عدم وجود أبعاد للشخصيات ، لا عمق لديهم ! أعني بيل كان بحاجة للمزيد من العمق ، لوريا كانت بحاجة لمساحة أكبر لها و مشاعر أقوى ، كانت بحاجة لنهاية ،
إذُا ما الذي يجعلني اقرأها للنهاية ؟ لنكن واقعيين لقد اشتريتها و لست تلك النوعية اللامسئولة التي لا تُنهي كتابًا قد بدأته و نأمل دائمًا أن تتحسن الأمور ..
تتوالى أحداث الرواية بشكل ممل من الواضح طبعًا أن الكاتبة حاولت أن تضع بعض العبارات الملهمة على ألسنة أبطالها في بعض الأحيان لكن المرء أكسل من أن يحفظها ، عمومًا كان بإمكانها أن تقوم بعمل أفضل من ذلك فبرغم تحسن الأمر في الربع الأخير من الكتاب إلا أن المرء كان قد فقد الأمل فيه و وقعت ما فيه من أحداث في قاعٍ عميق بلا صدى للأسف !
لنلخص الأمر إذًا زيجة جان و آنيماك كانت زيجة فاشلة و انتهت نهاية سيئة ، زيجة جورج و دوروثي لها حسنها و سيئها فقط كلاهما احتاجا فترة راحة لكن في نهاية الأمر تصاب دوروثي بسكتة دماغية و يهرع جورج لها و تنتهي قصته هنا ، أما جان فقرر أن يكلم ابنيه ليدعوهما على العشاء أو وجبة ما ..
بالنهاية ستعرف ما كانت تريده الكاتبة من العنوان و من القصة ككل ، لكن لم توفق في أمور كثيرة هنا
نجمتان للربع الأخير فقط منها ..
دعوني ألخصها لكم ، الرواية ببساطة تستعرض زيجتان ف الأولى الزوج مصاب بالسرطان و سيموت و الثانية الزوجة في أولى مراحل آلزهايمر كلاهما يذهبان إلى رحلة في منتجع ما مترف .. من المفترض أنها تستعرض لنا الزوجة التي لا تطيق حياتها مع زوجها المصاب بالسرطان و في الجهة الأخرى الزوج الذي يرفض تصديق أن زوجته تعاني من آلزهايمر
بدايتها غير سلسة مطلقًا ، لنعترف ليس الكل يستطيع بدأ الرواية بشكل صحيح ، دعونا من القصة الآن سأحدثكم عنها بعد قليل أريد البدء بالترجمة..
منذ الصفحات الأولى و المترجم الموقر يختبر صبري بعبارات مثل "ملعون أبو السباحة ، "لوحدك ؟ " "خل بالك " و " شوية " ، حسنًا هو مترجم وغد من الدرجة الأولى "آلام فظيعة في المؤخرة " حسب ترجمته في الحقيقة لنقل أنني قد أتغاضى عن الكلمات العامية و الكلمات الفصحى المستخدمة في العامية لكنني بالتأكيد لا أستطيع التغاضي عن حرفية الترجمة ، إن لم تعرف كيف تتصرف في ترجمة جملة ما فخير لك و لنا ألا تترجمها على أن تترجمها حرفيًا ، ذكرني ذلك بترجمة لمئة عامة من العزلة كانت تقول أن هذا العالم سيتخوزق عندما تسافر الكتب في عربات الشحن أو شيء من هذا القبيل بينما ترجمها آخر أن العالم سوف ينزلق إلى الدرك الأسفل .
لنعد إلى الرواية كما قلت سابقًا ليست ببداية عظيمة و الترجمة جعلتها اسوأ ، مرت العديد و العديد من الصفحات حتى بدأت اعتاد الرواية من 400 صفحة بدأت اعتادها من الصفحة التسعون أو المائة مثلًا ، ربما هنا بدأت الحبكة بالظهور باختفاء الزوجة العجوز المصابة بالزهايمر ، أتدرون بماذا تذكرني هذه الرواية ؟ تذكرني بتلك المسلسلات الطويلة التي تتابع حياة الأفراد بمللها و تشويقها ، آه نعم دراما الحياة اليومية هي كذلك .. المشكلة الحقيقية ليست في كونها دراما حياة يومية السوء يكمن في عدم وجود أبعاد للشخصيات ، لا عمق لديهم ! أعني بيل كان بحاجة للمزيد من العمق ، لوريا كانت بحاجة لمساحة أكبر لها و مشاعر أقوى ، كانت بحاجة لنهاية ،
إذُا ما الذي يجعلني اقرأها للنهاية ؟ لنكن واقعيين لقد اشتريتها و لست تلك النوعية اللامسئولة التي لا تُنهي كتابًا قد بدأته و نأمل دائمًا أن تتحسن الأمور ..
تتوالى أحداث الرواية بشكل ممل من الواضح طبعًا أن الكاتبة حاولت أن تضع بعض العبارات الملهمة على ألسنة أبطالها في بعض الأحيان لكن المرء أكسل من أن يحفظها ، عمومًا كان بإمكانها أن تقوم بعمل أفضل من ذلك فبرغم تحسن الأمر في الربع الأخير من الكتاب إلا أن المرء كان قد فقد الأمل فيه و وقعت ما فيه من أحداث في قاعٍ عميق بلا صدى للأسف !
لنلخص الأمر إذًا زيجة جان و آنيماك كانت زيجة فاشلة و انتهت نهاية سيئة ، زيجة جورج و دوروثي لها حسنها و سيئها فقط كلاهما احتاجا فترة راحة لكن في نهاية الأمر تصاب دوروثي بسكتة دماغية و يهرع جورج لها و تنتهي قصته هنا ، أما جان فقرر أن يكلم ابنيه ليدعوهما على العشاء أو وجبة ما ..
بالنهاية ستعرف ما كانت تريده الكاتبة من العنوان و من القصة ككل ، لكن لم توفق في أمور كثيرة هنا
نجمتان للربع الأخير فقط منها ..
December 6, 2017
Onvan : Becoming Strangers - Nevisande : Louise Dean - ISBN : 015603266X - ISBN13 : 9780156032667 - Dar 320 Safhe - Saal e Chap : 2004
October 9, 2007
I would recommend reading this, but with caveats. I found the main characters interesting, but didn't really relate to any of them. The book revolves around 2 (heterosexual) couples who have been married for 30 and 50 years, respectively, unhappily for much of that time. It is an in-depth examination of why their relationships continue (children, inertia, duty, etc.). I felt that it explored the two main male characters more than the female characters, who were mainly one-dimensional. Much of it is tragic, but there are light moments. There is some cultural commentary that, despite slightly stereotypical images (the ugly Americans, the affable Irishman, the dour Belgians, the down-to-Earth Britons), can be pretty amusing.
December 14, 2009
What we feel may be shocking as our secret and personal tragedies, may in fact just be what life is all about.
This is one of the saddest stories I have ever read - of lives colliding in a Caribbean holiday - a terminally ill man and his sex-minded wife, an elderly couple in their 80s on one of their first holidays, a so-called Christian man, and a beautiful Chinese woman with a sad story of her own.
Read this with an open mind and reserve your judgements. Because this is the only way we can live our lives sanely.
This is one of the saddest stories I have ever read - of lives colliding in a Caribbean holiday - a terminally ill man and his sex-minded wife, an elderly couple in their 80s on one of their first holidays, a so-called Christian man, and a beautiful Chinese woman with a sad story of her own.
Read this with an open mind and reserve your judgements. Because this is the only way we can live our lives sanely.
July 15, 2016
Had I not picked Becoming Strangers in that danky, weakly lit bookstore, I might have been spared not only the burden of reading it but also the urge to review it. Dear future readers, please reconsider. Resist being impressed by the backcover synopsis. Flick through the inside pages and read a few paragraphs for good measure.
To be truly honest, I could have liked Becoming Strangers if my copy wasn't a poor Arabic translation. But then, a good novel may still cast its charm in spite of poor translation. You see, the plot, though translucent and straightforward, somehow unfolded at a snail's pace. Indeed, I almost gave up reading the last hundred pages or so.
However, boring as it may be, Becoming Strangers does have a couple of notes worth sharing:
1. Growing up together isn't as rosy as Facebook posts and UP-captioned pictures portray.
As the title clearly points out, a long marriage may not strengthen the bonds between husband and wife; in fact, it may only serve to put under scrutiny the flaws and faults marring the barely-held relationship. Jan and Anniemieke, the Belgian couple, grow so tired of each other during their 'last holiday together' on the Caribbean, so-called because Jan's cancer reached its final stages. On the one hand, he can't seem to sate her, ehm, sexual desires ( she feels young whereas Jan's cancer has accelerated his aging process). On the other hand, she's never been the kind of wife he wanted, right from the start. And although they're both old enough to shake hands and part ways, they don't. Detached and distanced yet resolutely locking hands before strangers.
Incompatibility of desires isn't the sole culprit for destroying the rosy-hued picture of wrinkled and spotted locked hands. Unsynchronized old age can make it seem as if the old couple come from two different eras. Enter Dorothy and George, the English couple. Because Dorothy suffers from Alzheimer's, she gradually withdraws from George's life-their life- as the wife he's always known. Yes her hands still smell of detergent as usual, yet her mind isn't there anymore. She knows she's losing it and he's sorry for it too. So it's a dead end for both couples, then. So much for love lasting a lifetime.
2. Regret oftentimes comes too darn late that it's no longer meaningful. Bill could only regret having been an alcoholic but he may never get back his beloved wife who took her life in protest of his attitude. Similarly, Dan and Annemieke regret having lived together under a false pretense and when they each finally take control of their lives, Jan is crawling slowly to his grave.
3. To be continued when I make something of Bill, Laura, Mr. Bernes, Jason, and Adam's indistinct roles.
To be truly honest, I could have liked Becoming Strangers if my copy wasn't a poor Arabic translation. But then, a good novel may still cast its charm in spite of poor translation. You see, the plot, though translucent and straightforward, somehow unfolded at a snail's pace. Indeed, I almost gave up reading the last hundred pages or so.
However, boring as it may be, Becoming Strangers does have a couple of notes worth sharing:
1. Growing up together isn't as rosy as Facebook posts and UP-captioned pictures portray.
As the title clearly points out, a long marriage may not strengthen the bonds between husband and wife; in fact, it may only serve to put under scrutiny the flaws and faults marring the barely-held relationship. Jan and Anniemieke, the Belgian couple, grow so tired of each other during their 'last holiday together' on the Caribbean, so-called because Jan's cancer reached its final stages. On the one hand, he can't seem to sate her, ehm, sexual desires ( she feels young whereas Jan's cancer has accelerated his aging process). On the other hand, she's never been the kind of wife he wanted, right from the start. And although they're both old enough to shake hands and part ways, they don't. Detached and distanced yet resolutely locking hands before strangers.
Incompatibility of desires isn't the sole culprit for destroying the rosy-hued picture of wrinkled and spotted locked hands. Unsynchronized old age can make it seem as if the old couple come from two different eras. Enter Dorothy and George, the English couple. Because Dorothy suffers from Alzheimer's, she gradually withdraws from George's life-their life- as the wife he's always known. Yes her hands still smell of detergent as usual, yet her mind isn't there anymore. She knows she's losing it and he's sorry for it too. So it's a dead end for both couples, then. So much for love lasting a lifetime.
2. Regret oftentimes comes too darn late that it's no longer meaningful. Bill could only regret having been an alcoholic but he may never get back his beloved wife who took her life in protest of his attitude. Similarly, Dan and Annemieke regret having lived together under a false pretense and when they each finally take control of their lives, Jan is crawling slowly to his grave.
3. To be continued when I make something of Bill, Laura, Mr. Bernes, Jason, and Adam's indistinct roles.
November 18, 2016
À complicated to describe book. Not uninteresting, but not fascinating. Powerful insights on the reality of marriage in dire circumstances, the fact that you can't like most of the characters at all, because they're awful people really, well, that's complicated. You want to love someone in a book you read, don't you? So I don't know what to say. Judge for yourself!
July 17, 2025
"It appeared to him that the need to holiday was part of the human condition, an agreeable palliative for an aliment mankind barely knows how to complain about; the life we have made"
November 30, 2009
Precis: The story is about a Belgian couple who are on holiday. Why Belgian I do not know. The husband has cancer, and it is terminal. His wife is a bitch through and through who treats him with disdain and tries to get off with any male who might be interested. There is an elderly English couple also on holiday, who befiend the belgian couple, and then, there is a death.
This book was a revelation. I picked it up late one night, and flicked through it, and found it to be absolutely dire. The passages I read seemed lifeless and boring.
Another day, tidying up, I picked it up and weighed it in my hand considering. Did I give it another go? Well I did, and I am glad. The book is quite eerie, and is about everyday events, but it builds up, becoming more and more compelling, until at the end, the characters live on in your head.
That's the sign of a good book isn't it, when it repeats on you!
This book was a revelation. I picked it up late one night, and flicked through it, and found it to be absolutely dire. The passages I read seemed lifeless and boring.
Another day, tidying up, I picked it up and weighed it in my hand considering. Did I give it another go? Well I did, and I am glad. The book is quite eerie, and is about everyday events, but it builds up, becoming more and more compelling, until at the end, the characters live on in your head.
That's the sign of a good book isn't it, when it repeats on you!
September 23, 2023
There is two things this author hates- Americans (valid), and women. This book is like if the roles were reversed, and women were the ones who leave their partners who are terminally ill. This book is very bros before hoes. That aside, it was very well written and engaging, particularly at the start with its gripping concept! Worth reading, but I began to feel bored at the end.
April 12, 2024
مقدرتش اكمل أول 100 صفحة.
January 20, 2025
لم تعجبني إطلاقاً لدرجة عدم إكمالها
رواية طويلة جداً بتفاصيل مملة، الحبكة لا تظهر إلا بعد مئة صفحة تقريباً
الترجمة سيئة، يمكن أن تكون الرواية أفضل إذا غيرت الترجمة
رواية طويلة جداً بتفاصيل مملة، الحبكة لا تظهر إلا بعد مئة صفحة تقريباً
الترجمة سيئة، يمكن أن تكون الرواية أفضل إذا غيرت الترجمة
January 16, 2022
أحيانًا أحس بتشابه بيني وبين جورج، ليس لأن صراحته فيما يخص الحياة التي يعيشها تثير الرثاء دائمًا؛ بل لأنه كان مهووسًا بحبه لآنّيمايك حتىٰ فقد الأحساس بها، كان يعلم الحقيقة منذ البدء لكنه كان أحمق، حتىٰ وهو يحدق في حياته وهي علىٰ وشك الانتهاء؛ ظل يسأل:" كيف يمكننا التعامل مع ما نحن عليه؟!". جورج صَنع ثقبًا في أفكاري، وإلىٰ الآن أحاول البحث -بدلًا منه- عن اللحظة المناسبة للبدأ من جديد، دون الالتفات للماضي، ولكن: عزيزي جورج قبل "أن نصبح أغرابًا" شعرتُ بك، ليس لأن كلانا يحيا الحياة نفسها؛ بل لأننا ندرك ما ستؤول إليه الأمور، وبطريقة أو بأخرىٰ نحاول إيجاد سبب نبرر به غباء ما نفعله، عزيزي.. لقد قُدّم لك الموت قبل أن تجد المساحة الآمنة، كنتُ أظن أنه من المفترض للمرء أن يحيا حياة هادئة مع من يحب وهذا ما جعلني أشعر بالإحباط عند اكتشاف حقيقة الأمر، لكني الآن لستُ قلقة، ثمة الكثير من النهايات المختلفة تمامًا عنك، حتىٰ ولو تشابهت؛ ألم تجد في الموت مساحة آمنة؟
May 18, 2017
Becoming Strangers, Louise Dean
This Is a book about troubled and loveless, unfulfilled marriages. It is also about what it means to commit yourself to another person.
Two couples meet at a Caribbean resort. The unhappily married Dutch couple are in their 50's and the British couple are in their 80's. Besides the unhappiness of each couple and the distance between the spouses, both are also now faced with the situation where one spouse is very ill.
On a small Caribbean island the couples find each other and the men form bonds of friendship, where they receive comfort that can't be gotten from the relationships they have with their wives.
The British couple deals with life using a stiff upper lip, denial, habit and conformity. The Dutch couple, at this point, have reached their end point literally and figuratively since the husband has terminal cancer. They have very few ties binding them together, and the wife is disappointed, frustrated with aging, and angry. Is she mad at herself or the unhappy marriage she has stayed in. Not a cheerful book but a really interesting look at marriage and the struggles couples face if they choose to stay together despite the issues they have. The author spent a lot of time focused on the men and their emotional life - an interesting choice and one not often explored. Although this was depressing, Dean does a great job portraying how people deal with each other - resort staff and patron, husband and wife, new friends, American vs. European. I had held on to this book for a long time and am glad I finally read it.
This Is a book about troubled and loveless, unfulfilled marriages. It is also about what it means to commit yourself to another person.
Two couples meet at a Caribbean resort. The unhappily married Dutch couple are in their 50's and the British couple are in their 80's. Besides the unhappiness of each couple and the distance between the spouses, both are also now faced with the situation where one spouse is very ill.
On a small Caribbean island the couples find each other and the men form bonds of friendship, where they receive comfort that can't be gotten from the relationships they have with their wives.
The British couple deals with life using a stiff upper lip, denial, habit and conformity. The Dutch couple, at this point, have reached their end point literally and figuratively since the husband has terminal cancer. They have very few ties binding them together, and the wife is disappointed, frustrated with aging, and angry. Is she mad at herself or the unhappy marriage she has stayed in. Not a cheerful book but a really interesting look at marriage and the struggles couples face if they choose to stay together despite the issues they have. The author spent a lot of time focused on the men and their emotional life - an interesting choice and one not often explored. Although this was depressing, Dean does a great job portraying how people deal with each other - resort staff and patron, husband and wife, new friends, American vs. European. I had held on to this book for a long time and am glad I finally read it.
Read
January 30, 2009Dorothy and George, married for 50 years, travel to a luxurious Carribean resort for their first vacation abroad. There they meet Jan and Annemieke, a middle-aged couple taking their last trip together before Jan succumbs to cancer. The paradisiacal setting cannot hide the strains in either marriage though. Dorothy is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and George is in denial about it. Jan has been dying for six years and Annemieke is tired of waiting to become a widow and get on with her life. Their problems don't prevent the couples from mingling with others at the resort and having a few adventures, including a skinny-dipping picnic and Annemieke's hilarious seduction of the resort's resident hippie. Dean deftly takes the measure of each couple without giving in to sentimentality, making the story ring true. (Mary B., Reader's Services)
June 5, 2020
I absolutely adored this book from the start. The opening line is so strong, and I was keen to know why Jan felt this way. Jan is married to Annemieke and it's clear their relationship is struggling, as Annemieke is bored by her husband being ill. Their children buy them a holiday - the last they will take together, and it is there that they meet another couple, Dorothy and George, who have their own issues.
The characters are well rounded and likeable in the most part - who is nice all the time anyway? Other characters from the holiday resort make an appearance, with often humorous results. This could almost be a play in the theatre.
I found Annemieke's behaviour distasteful at times, and I was often rooting for Jan. I don't want to put spoilers in the review, so all I can say now, is I thoroughly recommend this book, and I am keen to read other books by this author.
The characters are well rounded and likeable in the most part - who is nice all the time anyway? Other characters from the holiday resort make an appearance, with often humorous results. This could almost be a play in the theatre.
I found Annemieke's behaviour distasteful at times, and I was often rooting for Jan. I don't want to put spoilers in the review, so all I can say now, is I thoroughly recommend this book, and I am keen to read other books by this author.
July 2, 2010
First book read in Seefeld Austria on holiday.Bit depressing for a holiday read but at least my marriage was quite the opposite to those portrayed. Observation of the characters and their relationships and their take on situations was very good. It was uncomfortable in parts and no one was particularly likeable however the reader was given insight into their motivations and behaviours so we could forgive mistakes and actions we may not condone a little easier.One that crept up on me as I read it.
March 18, 2008
I borrowed this book from the library.
I would have given this book more stars, if I had actually liked the characters. Yes, the characters were very well drawn and developed, but I really did not like them.
Especially Annemarieke, the main character's wife. If you are looking for a book to leave you with a "feel good" feeling, I don't think I would recommend this one.
I would have given this book more stars, if I had actually liked the characters. Yes, the characters were very well drawn and developed, but I really did not like them.
Especially Annemarieke, the main character's wife. If you are looking for a book to leave you with a "feel good" feeling, I don't think I would recommend this one.
January 6, 2016
This book didn't do it for me, nor did it in anyway meet the expectations that I usually have for a Booker Long-lister. The story is focused on two couples who take holidays at different stages of their marriages. I found the story to be an odd combination of unsettling and boring. I really struggled with the characters.
Disappointing.
Disappointing.
July 27, 2013
I started off enjoying this book, but by the end I was left a bit disappointed. I wouldn't really recommend this book.
August 13, 2025
Published in 2004, this debut novel won a fair few awards and was nominated for more, as well as getting its author compared to everyone from Anne Tyler to Alan Bennett. It's a little surprising, therefore, to see it has a pretty low Goodreads ranking, with 40% of readers giving it a miserable one or two stars. I suspect this is mainly due to the fairly unlikeable nature of two of its main characters, the Belgian couple Jan and Annemieke, as well as the bleakness of its subject matter which includes terminal cancer and Alzheimer's, as well as loveless random adultery. All undeniably true, but in parts it is also extremely funny, in a very black, Waughish kind of way, and 80-year-old George stole my heart.
April 11, 2018
About ten percent witty and incisive and 90 percent dull, I was glad to have this finished. Every time an plotline threatened to grab the narrative by the throat it was smothered within pages. The focus of the writing was all on the individual characters, their relationships with their spouses and others, and unfortunately they were mostly hard to like, particularly Annemieke who was an absolute cow. And what were the last chapters about? They hung around like the last guests at a party when you're dead on your feet and desperate to get to bed.
July 26, 2019
I'm sorry, but I really didn't like anything about this book.
The story is incredibly bleak, all rather pointless, and simplistically dull.
Unlike the review on the front cover of the book, I didn't struggle with, 'whether to laugh or cry', I didn't feel anything about any of the characters, the dialogue seemed out of date, and again, I disagree with the review, I did not find the book, 'uplifting'.
It's a shame to be so harsh, but I haven't enjoyed a book less, in a very long time.
How it even became long listed for the Man Booker Prize in 2004, I have no idea.
The story is incredibly bleak, all rather pointless, and simplistically dull.
Unlike the review on the front cover of the book, I didn't struggle with, 'whether to laugh or cry', I didn't feel anything about any of the characters, the dialogue seemed out of date, and again, I disagree with the review, I did not find the book, 'uplifting'.
It's a shame to be so harsh, but I haven't enjoyed a book less, in a very long time.
How it even became long listed for the Man Booker Prize in 2004, I have no idea.
March 7, 2025
هي رواية لا تصلح للقراء العرب لماذا اعتقد هذا ؟ لأن العرب يرون دائما ان النساء المخطئات دائما
الرواية تتحدث عن الحب الجنسي والاحتياج الجنسي لدي المرأة التي يكون زوجها نافرا منه تحت اي ظرق سواء المرض او الملل او البرود
هل يعطي هذا حق للمرأة أن تنام مع رجل اخر غير زوجها لأحتياجها لهذا ؟ لا ادري لأنني لست اعرف ما هو الملل و ما��و الحب وما هو الزواج
ولماذا نربط الزواج بممارسة الجنس ؟
وهل مبرر لاي زوج أو زوجة أن لا يهتم بما يحتاجه الآخر من حقوق زوجية حتي لو انه مثاب بمرض خطير او حتي علي فراش الموت ؟
الرواية تتحدث عن الحب الجنسي والاحتياج الجنسي لدي المرأة التي يكون زوجها نافرا منه تحت اي ظرق سواء المرض او الملل او البرود
هل يعطي هذا حق للمرأة أن تنام مع رجل اخر غير زوجها لأحتياجها لهذا ؟ لا ادري لأنني لست اعرف ما هو الملل و ما��و الحب وما هو الزواج
ولماذا نربط الزواج بممارسة الجنس ؟
وهل مبرر لاي زوج أو زوجة أن لا يهتم بما يحتاجه الآخر من حقوق زوجية حتي لو انه مثاب بمرض خطير او حتي علي فراش الموت ؟
May 3, 2020
This is the worst book I've read in a long time. The characters were all horrible people (except one) and they didn't even do anything that interesting. The one character who I'm not sure if she was horrible or not was Dorothy - an elderly woman with Alzheimers. She was by far the most interesting character and she didn't get enough screen time. I almost DNFed this one and maybe I should've. I wouldn't recommend it.
June 28, 2025
2 stars ——— 291 pages of reading horrible characters. i honestly don’t understand the point of writing this book. the only thing that saves it from getting less than 2 stars is the page count and the really short chapters, which made reading this book kind of tolerable. that’s also the only reason i didn’t dnf and kept pushing through it.
August 4, 2018
"ان نصبح اغرابا" عنوان معبر ممكن نقول هو اقيم عنصر ف الروايه لكن المحتوي لا يستدعي 443 صفحه ابدااا.. والترجمه مربكه جداا لا تستطيع تصنيفها تبعا للفصحي او العاميه وهي احد اسباب تقيمي القليل للروايه نجمه للعنوان ونجمه للفكره ليس الا
November 22, 2019
Difficult to describe the book. It was not that interesting but also couldn't tell that it is very boring. There are some good insights about the long lasting marriage and relationship, and how complicated and loosing all the meaning it can get.
May 8, 2024
This is a funny, whimsical philosophy as long established couples face up to the challenges of a Caribbean holiday when romance has passed it's prime. Dean doesn't pull her punches sexually or in looking for the good and bad in human nature but she has some compassion in the tank for everyone.
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