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If I stay right here
Shay, a seemingly shy and innocent journalism student, is sent to a female prison to cover a story on an inmate, but falls in love instead. Two months later, Sippy, Shay’s love interest, is out of prison and they move in together. On the outside, Sippy is the haunted one in the relationship, but as their love story unfolds, it turns out that Shay has her own secrets.
This immersive and interesting story – written with no small amount of flair and intensity – is sexually charged and filled with moments of lacerating violence, both emotional and physical. At heart, it is the story of a woman’s inability to let go of that which both nourishes and destroys her.
This immersive and interesting story – written with no small amount of flair and intensity – is sexually charged and filled with moments of lacerating violence, both emotional and physical. At heart, it is the story of a woman’s inability to let go of that which both nourishes and destroys her.
- GenresRelationshipsFiction
158 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2017
10 people are currently reading
291 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
October 18, 2017
Another unputdownable book from here at home.This story is more than the navigation of a relationship. It interrogates so many narratives. It pokes holes at the societal moral fabric. Pulls apart at themes and issues we've known or been programmed to be true by introducing new narratives.
The formation of a lesbian community, the hierarchical forces within lesbian relationships and just plain development of individuals within a sexual relationships and the dynamics at play. The violence. OMG, it was all over this story. From the verbal interaction between Shay and Sid. Shay was forever on tenterhooks. So guarded. How do you live like that? The sex. Which raised so many questions for me. Sid was forceful and Shay was often sexuality assaulted and humiliated. The physical violence. The labels. "Wifey", "Whore" etc. Meant to reduce, minimise, devalue, diminish, deprecate, denigrate Shay. What labels are we attaching here as a society? When a cishet male lashes out like that, he is #MenAreTrash. How do we then revolt against Sid? Her obsession with the Alpha male figure and her morally wrong interpretation of him.
How do you withdhold sex to punish another? Sid was a typical abuser and displayed characteristics of a psychotic abuser. Shay, WTF? WHY DID SHE STAY???? THAT is the question. They had a very unhealthy relationship. Sid and Shay were each other's crutches. Sid needs Shay weak to make this relationship "work" and Shay needed to feel needed in order to stay.
Extremely well written. Chwayita gives us pieces of stories, like puzzles, which says a lot about her creative process. Conversely, the chapters/essays are as haphazard as life in its real form giving the reader a glaring picture of the dysfunctionality which was Sid and Shay's life.
Very contemporary and urban. The languaging itself is bold, brave and in-your-face. Representative of the overzealousness of youth. The multimedia medium, wassup messages, recipes and recordings, gave the story a tactile 4 dimensional feel. The story truly came from the heart.
I am so looking forward to the many academic papers coming out of the themes in this book. So many topical issues come to the fore. Domestic abuse, the dangers of co-dependancy in a relationship, promiscuity within a monogamous relationship, unkept promises, the cycle of abuse, the dynamics within a lesbian relationship, corrective rape and rape within a relationship.
4 phat stars. I am looking forward to meeting her in Jhb.
NB: So glad to see young black women writing. They are so under-represented it is heartbreaking.
The formation of a lesbian community, the hierarchical forces within lesbian relationships and just plain development of individuals within a sexual relationships and the dynamics at play. The violence. OMG, it was all over this story. From the verbal interaction between Shay and Sid. Shay was forever on tenterhooks. So guarded. How do you live like that? The sex. Which raised so many questions for me. Sid was forceful and Shay was often sexuality assaulted and humiliated. The physical violence. The labels. "Wifey", "Whore" etc. Meant to reduce, minimise, devalue, diminish, deprecate, denigrate Shay. What labels are we attaching here as a society? When a cishet male lashes out like that, he is #MenAreTrash. How do we then revolt against Sid? Her obsession with the Alpha male figure and her morally wrong interpretation of him.
How do you withdhold sex to punish another? Sid was a typical abuser and displayed characteristics of a psychotic abuser. Shay, WTF? WHY DID SHE STAY???? THAT is the question. They had a very unhealthy relationship. Sid and Shay were each other's crutches. Sid needs Shay weak to make this relationship "work" and Shay needed to feel needed in order to stay.
Extremely well written. Chwayita gives us pieces of stories, like puzzles, which says a lot about her creative process. Conversely, the chapters/essays are as haphazard as life in its real form giving the reader a glaring picture of the dysfunctionality which was Sid and Shay's life.
Very contemporary and urban. The languaging itself is bold, brave and in-your-face. Representative of the overzealousness of youth. The multimedia medium, wassup messages, recipes and recordings, gave the story a tactile 4 dimensional feel. The story truly came from the heart.
I am so looking forward to the many academic papers coming out of the themes in this book. So many topical issues come to the fore. Domestic abuse, the dangers of co-dependancy in a relationship, promiscuity within a monogamous relationship, unkept promises, the cycle of abuse, the dynamics within a lesbian relationship, corrective rape and rape within a relationship.
4 phat stars. I am looking forward to meeting her in Jhb.
NB: So glad to see young black women writing. They are so under-represented it is heartbreaking.
January 31, 2020
A very deep story of 2 girls who are in a very toxic lesbian relationship, Shay a student that was also a part time intern for journalism while Sip was a drop out at a university, an ex gang member and drug dealer.
I am saying it’s deep because society has not allowed itself to understand how these kind of relationships are so close to the more “acceptable” relationships between a guy and girl. I learned that abuse is everywhere. And like those “normal” relationships abusers have a history, a very deep one. Abused always stay with the hope that things will change. They give it all and share everything they have with the hope the partner will change. In the story Shay shared her flat with Sip who was from jail, she bought her everything she required, fed her, had sex when Sip wanted not the other way round. An abuser at its best. She cheated on her several times and yet she kept on accepting her back. Like all abusers, they sweet talk you afterwards and make you feel like you are the best thing that happened to them. They fix everything by giving you the best sex ever.
When they decide to leave you are left feeling like you are naked, that though they abuse you, you are nothing without them. You feel empty and lonely. You want them back, you yearn for them. They make you feel so dependent to them and it does not matter that you are the one who feeds and cloth them. They control your moves and are forever suspicious of your every move.
A very well written story that you will not put down hoping and praying with all her confidence, that Shay will kick Sip out.
Her story is not for same sex relationships only. A story that was intended for all those who have lost themselves in unhealthy destructive relationships. To know and learn that it is never too late to glue the fractured pieces back together again.
For her first book, the author outdid herself. I cannot wait to read more of her books in the future. She has a way with words and setting the tone for every chapter in her book was excellent. Some of her chapters were not direct but you will read between the lines of how it relates to the relationship of the two.
May 4, 2020
I have known toxic relationships but Shay and Sippy😱🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️mmm, they took the cup, this book got me frustrated emotional and sad all in one go. How do you move from that or survive in such(the intricacies of a lesbian relationship)?
The background story of how it all started: Sippy is sent to prison for a crime she didn’t commit after being violated. No wonder she was a dominant to slay it gave her some power, deciding when to have sex, how to be touched a certain way, etc. I'm of the belief that Shay gave Sip too much power or she made it easy for her hence Sippy could get away with the abuse, the co-dependency was so unhealthy🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️, having abused people syndrome doubting yourself always questioning and second-guessing yourself and capabilities.
The book has random titles for each chapter and written "haphazardly" but you can really follow through the main story throughout. Salutations to the author👏🏽👏🏽 You have some vivid mind continue the beautiful work.
The background story of how it all started: Sippy is sent to prison for a crime she didn’t commit after being violated. No wonder she was a dominant to slay it gave her some power, deciding when to have sex, how to be touched a certain way, etc. I'm of the belief that Shay gave Sip too much power or she made it easy for her hence Sippy could get away with the abuse, the co-dependency was so unhealthy🙅🏾♀️🙅🏾♀️, having abused people syndrome doubting yourself always questioning and second-guessing yourself and capabilities.
The book has random titles for each chapter and written "haphazardly" but you can really follow through the main story throughout. Salutations to the author👏🏽👏🏽 You have some vivid mind continue the beautiful work.
October 27, 2017
The story follows the relationship of two incompatible, psychologically affected lesbians, Shay and Sip. Sip is what is termed a butch lesbian. She is an unemployed ex drug user, a university drop out , a victim of sexual assault and had spent some time in jail. Shay on the other hand was well brought up, a masochist of sorts and a journalism student . Shay meets Sip whilst Sip is in prison. Sip was her subject on her journalism field work. There was chemistry. After Sip was released they hooked up and moved in together . A curtain then opens to a volatile , dysfunctional life of violence, abuse, alcohol, sex , jealousy, infidelity and heartache. It was strange how Sip as a female is patriachal to the tee.
For a debut novel Chwayita came out with guns blazing . Unlike most newly graduated creative writing students, her writing is unconventional, experimental and daring. In one instance she uses a whatsapp conversation to explicitly cover a section in the story. In another chapter she relates the story whilst listening to music on her head set. The songs she was listening to enhanced the mood and sad emotions at the time. At one point she refers to the singer Beyonce and then proceeds to incorporate some of Beyonce's song titles in coherent sentences. Her narration although might appear fragmented in part , it all makes sense at the end. The author skillfully depicts in her writing style, the uncertainty and unpredictability that epitomizes life, our lives.
In the book Chwayita successfully dimistifies the myth that it is all harmonious , easy, and perfect in same sex relationships . In writing the novel she borrowed from her lived experiences as an openly bisexual person.
I think she did not write exclusively for the queer community . Shay and Sip could be any couple regardless of sexual orientation.
If you are seeking a fresh, unique , erotic, unconventional, well narrated novel that tackles often tabboo themes we grapple with in post liberation South Africa, "If I Stay Right Here " is the one .
November 16, 2019
Loved it!!!
May 21, 2020
WARNING, I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO ANYONE WHO'S EASILY TRIGGERED!
This book falls under experimental fiction. What a gem. Firstly I would like to give credits to the author, well done! The writing style is way different from the ones I'm used to. Some chapters were just weird to understand but believe me, the puzzle comes together as you continue reading. I felt out of my comfort zone, which is fantastic! I couldn't put it down.
Shay is our main character beautiful, loving and caring young lady with a bright future ahead of her. She's a student doing Journalism and a part-time intern for some company. We all love a Feminist!
She meets Sippy under unforseen circumstances and falls inlove. My goodness, this is one toxic relationship I never imagined when I started reading this book. Sippy is Butch and calls the shots around ("she's the man").
The book was nice when they were loving to each other, I mean who doesn't like romance. However I wanted to throw it away when things hit it's peak. Sippy has a dark past, things gets ugly when they fight.
Readers, we are following an Abusive, heartbreaking and crazy relationship here. Not forgetting the steamy erotic moments. Who ever thought two ladies in love could be so much drama?
This book showed me flames. It's one of those love and hate kinda reads. You love to hate it.
Lesson learned: Leave abusive relationships while you can.
This book falls under experimental fiction. What a gem. Firstly I would like to give credits to the author, well done! The writing style is way different from the ones I'm used to. Some chapters were just weird to understand but believe me, the puzzle comes together as you continue reading. I felt out of my comfort zone, which is fantastic! I couldn't put it down.
Shay is our main character beautiful, loving and caring young lady with a bright future ahead of her. She's a student doing Journalism and a part-time intern for some company. We all love a Feminist!
She meets Sippy under unforseen circumstances and falls inlove. My goodness, this is one toxic relationship I never imagined when I started reading this book. Sippy is Butch and calls the shots around ("she's the man").
The book was nice when they were loving to each other, I mean who doesn't like romance. However I wanted to throw it away when things hit it's peak. Sippy has a dark past, things gets ugly when they fight.
Readers, we are following an Abusive, heartbreaking and crazy relationship here. Not forgetting the steamy erotic moments. Who ever thought two ladies in love could be so much drama?
This book showed me flames. It's one of those love and hate kinda reads. You love to hate it.
Lesson learned: Leave abusive relationships while you can.
December 1, 2017
such an important book, the issue of abuse between same sex relationships is not one that gets spoken or written about. A friend of mine who is a lesbian said told me Sip reminded her of her younger self...
July 26, 2020
This is a book about 2 girls who are in the same sex relationship. They met when shay was assigned to interview Sip in prison and fell in love with each other. Shay, the protagonist is an aspiring journalist and a part time student. Sip, who is lesbian,a victim of gang rape, a drug user and an ex convict.
The author takes us through this toxic, violent and emotionally taxing relationship. The author takes us through the dynamics of this abusive relationship and how after everything the couple went through, Sip still felt entitled to Shay and everything that she owned and cheated on her. This book explores same sex relationship and how abusive both physically and emotionally they can be, despite how some of us thought they are always love and roses. I absolutely loved this book, I would recommend it to anyone who wants to read something fresh and unique.
The author takes us through this toxic, violent and emotionally taxing relationship. The author takes us through the dynamics of this abusive relationship and how after everything the couple went through, Sip still felt entitled to Shay and everything that she owned and cheated on her. This book explores same sex relationship and how abusive both physically and emotionally they can be, despite how some of us thought they are always love and roses. I absolutely loved this book, I would recommend it to anyone who wants to read something fresh and unique.
September 1, 2025
I loved and enjoyed reading about Lesbian Couple based in South Africa. Very relatable. Parts of the book would have been left out because they didn’t add much to the book or felt out of place. A good read nonetheless.
October 10, 2018
A trip. Brilliant. Best book of 2018.
January 18, 2019
Riveting read.
March 19, 2019
Its a very interesting book😛😂😂
I love love love it
😄♥
I love love love it
😄♥
May 15, 2020
Very good
March 2, 2021
Nice one
February 19, 2023
I am extremely frustrated by this book and the plot. Firstly, I am frustrated by the interchangeably use of the pet names "babe" and "baby", which I am unsure if it was intentional or not, but it got on my nerves. Secondly, I felt the story was not going anywhere, until the very end, which also left me with more questions than answers. It is a good thing this book can be read in one sitting, especially if you are in between books or looking for a quick read. It is worth reading and if this app allowed me; I would give it a two and a half rating.
July 8, 2020
"If I stay right here" recounts Shay and Sip's tumultuous relationship. They meet when Shay, a journalist student, visits a prison to conduct an interview for the website she works for. What ensues is an age-old tale of passion-infused highs and violence-marred lows that serve a stark reminder that love is a rollercoaster ride.
Shay loves Sip; this is evident in the endless self-sacrifice and repeated forgiveness she lavishes onto Sip. She seems to have an ingrained need to be loved, which keeps her hostage in a relationship that nourishes her soul with the same intensity as tearing it apart. She gives Sip everything...and as with most instances where one person gives another everything, gut-wrenching pain ensues.
Sip on the other hand is an unsolved puzzle to me. She either deeply loves Shay and does not know how to properly process those feelings, or she's taking advantage of Shay's love for her own benefit. She's dealing with hurts from her past which manifests itself as rage and ultimately pain, for both her and Shay. She's insecure about her good fortune at bagging a girl like Shay and her "masculinity," evidenced by her reaction whenever Shay is around males.
I was angry when they stayed together; I was happy when they reconciled; I went on this rollercoaster ride with these two! I saw a glimpse into that eternal mystery of why people stay in relationships when it is in both parties' interests to just walk away..."the heart wants what it wants!" How right you were Emily Dickinson!
Shay loves Sip; this is evident in the endless self-sacrifice and repeated forgiveness she lavishes onto Sip. She seems to have an ingrained need to be loved, which keeps her hostage in a relationship that nourishes her soul with the same intensity as tearing it apart. She gives Sip everything...and as with most instances where one person gives another everything, gut-wrenching pain ensues.
Sip on the other hand is an unsolved puzzle to me. She either deeply loves Shay and does not know how to properly process those feelings, or she's taking advantage of Shay's love for her own benefit. She's dealing with hurts from her past which manifests itself as rage and ultimately pain, for both her and Shay. She's insecure about her good fortune at bagging a girl like Shay and her "masculinity," evidenced by her reaction whenever Shay is around males.
I was angry when they stayed together; I was happy when they reconciled; I went on this rollercoaster ride with these two! I saw a glimpse into that eternal mystery of why people stay in relationships when it is in both parties' interests to just walk away..."the heart wants what it wants!" How right you were Emily Dickinson!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews