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I Am Grey
“Me and you. It’ll never happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not five years from now. Not when some idiot breaks your heart, or when you realise what your little sundresses do to everyone. Not when you’re thirty, not when you’re fifty. I’m going to push your limits, break you down, make you cry, and in the end … I’ll save you.”
Some people exist in the blessed light of day, but I'm not one of those people. I exist in the bleak grey of a post-twilight world, where the warmth is sucked from the air and the weightless shadows come out to play. I will never be free, because I have a demon. It wasn’t always with me, but something happened, something bad. I lost a year of my life, and now here I am, just me and my demon.
Maybe the demon is him: Nicholai Fell. He exists in the horrible darkness of a moonless night: quiet, full of mystery, completely unreachable. He might be in the profession of saving people, but it isn’t going to work this time. Not even when he starts to break all of his own rules.
Because maybe …
Just maybe ...
My demon is me.
Some people exist in the blessed light of day, but I'm not one of those people. I exist in the bleak grey of a post-twilight world, where the warmth is sucked from the air and the weightless shadows come out to play. I will never be free, because I have a demon. It wasn’t always with me, but something happened, something bad. I lost a year of my life, and now here I am, just me and my demon.
Maybe the demon is him: Nicholai Fell. He exists in the horrible darkness of a moonless night: quiet, full of mystery, completely unreachable. He might be in the profession of saving people, but it isn’t going to work this time. Not even when he starts to break all of his own rules.
Because maybe …
Just maybe ...
My demon is me.
430 pages, Paperback
First published July 31, 2018
498 people are currently reading
1666 people want to read
About the author
Jane Washington
33 books4,566 followersJane is a Wall-Street Journal bestselling author who spends all her time writing books and then telling people not to read them.
Find her here: https://linktr.ee/janewashingtonbooks
Find her here: https://linktr.ee/janewashingtonbooks
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 271 reviews
March 8, 2023
It was fascinating that some of the heavier issues here have been handled very maturely by this talented writer. There is so much complexity in this book. In particular, Grey's character was really hard to connect with at times, yet so much can be learned. I absolutely enjoyed this story. I really like that it has a lot in common with the book "Medicine Man by Saffron A Kent", which is one of my favorite books.
Still, I'm giving the book a 4 star rating. Why?
Well, while the book had its merits, I found myself somewhat let down by the depiction of the relationship between the two main characters in the final few chapters. As if it were suddenly missing a certain level of passion or intensity. Given the solid foundation of chemistry that was established between them from the beginning, I believe their concluding parts could have been even more strongly developed in the later parts of the book. Honestly, I was hoping for a more solid ending.
Still, I'm giving the book a 4 star rating. Why?
Well, while the book had its merits, I found myself somewhat let down by the depiction of the relationship between the two main characters in the final few chapters. As if it were suddenly missing a certain level of passion or intensity. Given the solid foundation of chemistry that was established between them from the beginning, I believe their concluding parts could have been even more strongly developed in the later parts of the book. Honestly, I was hoping for a more solid ending.
October 13, 2021
OMG brilliant! this book was amazing, I loved everything about it so well written had me hooked on the story from the very first chapter, couldn't put it down. Washington can really write encounters, an keep enough secrets in the book, to keep it that much more interesting all the way through loved it!
Happy Reading 🎨📚📚📓📚📙📒📕📗📘📚📔📖📓📙📒📚📔
Happy Reading 🎨📚📚📓📚📙📒📕📗📘📚📔📖📓📙📒📚📔
August 24, 2023
reread aug 2023: i wanted to read something so bad it was good, and this provided! i still have no idea what happened in this book, and i actually skipped an entire section in the middle when i got bored, but to be honest and i felt it didn't impact my reading experience at all - this is not a plot driven story.
this had the same guilty-pleasure-style entertainment value, which was fun.
~~~
First read Oct 2018: Another book from Jane Washington! This was very different to her other books, but similarly addictive.
Honestly I have no idea what happened in this book - it was an acid trip of trauma, but I was certainly invested, and I kinda adored the two MC's obsession with each other. At the same time, not sure about therapists dating patients... but it was kinda discussed, and honestly I didn't read this to analyse it and consider the quality of it - I read it for some entertainment, which was definitely provided.
We get about 2 chapters from Nicholai's POV, at the start and around the middle of the book, and they both offer info on his life, which I appreciated. I love some dual POV!
Check triggers!
this had the same guilty-pleasure-style entertainment value, which was fun.
~~~
First read Oct 2018: Another book from Jane Washington! This was very different to her other books, but similarly addictive.
Honestly I have no idea what happened in this book - it was an acid trip of trauma, but I was certainly invested, and I kinda adored the two MC's obsession with each other. At the same time, not sure about therapists dating patients... but it was kinda discussed, and honestly I didn't read this to analyse it and consider the quality of it - I read it for some entertainment, which was definitely provided.
We get about 2 chapters from Nicholai's POV, at the start and around the middle of the book, and they both offer info on his life, which I appreciated. I love some dual POV!
Check triggers!
August 2, 2018
Some advice before starting
- A Trigger warning is in the blurb read it. Also this is adult. Not YA as some of Washington’s other novels.
- This is a book about mental illness and has a lot of deep and heavy subject matter, if you’re struggling with you own stuff and don’t want to be dragged down then maybe go for something lighter
- This is best read in the dark when you have no distractions and time to read a good percentage of it. Once you break the spell and come back it can take a bit to immerse yourself in the drama again! It’s not really one to read when you’re making the dinner at the same time, it’ll not have the same impact
Washington and I have had our problems *cough* Seraph but I enjoyed this, dark heavy emotional stuff and all! Maybe because this is a standalone and doesn’t drag on for 4 books, its perfect as 314 pages and a one off.
I was compelled to keep reading from about 30% on, the tense moments with Duke and the slow burn romance kept me turning pages. It wasn’t all doom and gloom….wait no …it was but that’s ok if you’re in the mood for it and there was enough romance to satisfy me! Mika didn’t have much to be happy about and couldn’t get herself out of a dark hole of depression.
I desperately scrambled to bury whatever pain I might have once felt beneath the numb remains of who I was now?
Left on her own after a traumatic event that left her hospitalised Dr Nickolai see’s someone he needs to wake up and not just prescribe pills too. It’s a tense relationship filled with sexual tension and lines not to be crossed
He would cross every line … every line but one. The one that really mattered. My ultimate path to destruction.
Ok so everyone and their neighbour has issues in this. Big Issues. PTSD, self-harm, eating disorders ….etc etc so you can imagine it’s not a light read but it’s also thought provoking and insightful, no one can deny Washington knows how to write.
What I’ll take away from this
-Teenagers are very emotional
-Don’t let my girls near trailer parks (or Irish equalivant ) when they’re older
-And shouting at a fictional character "Don’t do it" or "Don’t say yes you ninny"- has absolutely no effect on the outcome.
October 20, 2025
pacing is sloooowww as hell but got better around 70% in. Nicholai is GIVINGGGG Kalen West!!!!!
April 20, 2025
first of all i was NOT expecting the main character to have the same name as me, and second of all i actually loved this book wtf 4.5⭐️
August 12, 2018
DNF Chapter 7
This just wasn't my book. Too depressing. Hero has other girlfriends. Heroine doesn't care at all about everything, just stumbles along and gets used by shady characters. I wanted to shake her and tell her to wake up! I don't have the patience for this.
This just wasn't my book. Too depressing. Hero has other girlfriends. Heroine doesn't care at all about everything, just stumbles along and gets used by shady characters. I wanted to shake her and tell her to wake up! I don't have the patience for this.
August 3, 2018
What an intense read..
I didn't know what to expect going into this book but what a wild ride. The ending was a but if a key down which is why the 4 star rating. Otherwise, I really enjoyed this book.
This book sucks you in right away and have you wanting to know what happened to a teenage girl to make her so emotionless. JW wrote a compelling story about a sensitive subject that has the reader hooked to the main MC.
Great book.
I didn't know what to expect going into this book but what a wild ride. The ending was a but if a key down which is why the 4 star rating. Otherwise, I really enjoyed this book.
This book sucks you in right away and have you wanting to know what happened to a teenage girl to make her so emotionless. JW wrote a compelling story about a sensitive subject that has the reader hooked to the main MC.
Great book.
September 3, 2025
"𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝐼'𝑑 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛."
Honestly, this book broke me in the best way possible. My head felt like it was going to explode from how much I cried. I read it at such a difficult time in my life, and it felt like the perfect book for that exact moment. The main character is written with so much depth, and I saw so much of myself in them. That connection made the story hit even harder. Jane Washington has this incredible ability to deliver emotions straight to your heart, and I truly felt every single word. It touched me deeply and has stayed with me even after finishing. 🌊
"𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆, 𝗘𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆."
"𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀. 𝗜𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿."
"𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲. 𝗛𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻."
"𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳."
"𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿, 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗜 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲: 𝗜'𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗯. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹"
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲. 𝗧𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝗿𝗼𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲."
"𝗜𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗜 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲. 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁-𝘀𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱; 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱."
"𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲, 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 -𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘆-"
Honestly, this book broke me in the best way possible. My head felt like it was going to explode from how much I cried. I read it at such a difficult time in my life, and it felt like the perfect book for that exact moment. The main character is written with so much depth, and I saw so much of myself in them. That connection made the story hit even harder. Jane Washington has this incredible ability to deliver emotions straight to your heart, and I truly felt every single word. It touched me deeply and has stayed with me even after finishing. 🌊
"𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆, 𝗘𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆."
"𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀. 𝗜𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿."
"𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲. 𝗛𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻."
"𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲. 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳."
"𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿, 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗜 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲: 𝗜'𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆. 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗯. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹"
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲. 𝗧𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝗿𝗼𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝘂𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲."
"𝗜𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲, 𝗜 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲. 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁-𝘀𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱; 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱."
"𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲, 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁. 𝗜𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 -𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘆-"
August 2, 2018
*Mild Spoilers*
"EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS A CHOICE....CHOOSE ME MIKA AND I'LL CHOOSE YOU"
And that was the point at which I fell more than a little in love with Nicholai Fell
I am Grey will take you on an emotional ride that will have you alternately dizzy, heartbroken raging and cheering.
Mika Grey is a broken girl who locks her feelings deep within and wears a silent 'no fucks given' facade.
After a family tragedy, that is teased out over the course of the book we begin our journey feeling lost and disjointed.
Much like Mika herself must feel.
A few fragments and the impression of huge loss colour the initial pages and as a reader we are drawn into the grey gritty recesses of Mikas mind.
We watch her struggle with feelings of depression that at times become overwhelming.
She lives in an almost disassociated state and let's things happen that you'll be screaming no no no about.
Enter Nicholai Fell, psychologist and temporary school councillor he hides a tragic and dark past of his own.
Between them they need to work through their broken pieces and come out the other end whole.
Taboo?
Or two painfully broken souls trying to find their way?
I won't say too much because, you need to read this and experience it for yourselves
I will however, say that the journey between point A and B is so beautifully written, the supporting characters are engaging and though Mika is in a dark place ..light touches her, she finds friendship and learns to let go of the past.
Absolutely one of my top reads of 2018.
Am I gushing 😂 probably but damn this book will give you all the feels and leave you with a smile on your face and a scar on your heart.
"EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS A CHOICE....CHOOSE ME MIKA AND I'LL CHOOSE YOU"
And that was the point at which I fell more than a little in love with Nicholai Fell
I am Grey will take you on an emotional ride that will have you alternately dizzy, heartbroken raging and cheering.
Mika Grey is a broken girl who locks her feelings deep within and wears a silent 'no fucks given' facade.
After a family tragedy, that is teased out over the course of the book we begin our journey feeling lost and disjointed.
Much like Mika herself must feel.
A few fragments and the impression of huge loss colour the initial pages and as a reader we are drawn into the grey gritty recesses of Mikas mind.
We watch her struggle with feelings of depression that at times become overwhelming.
She lives in an almost disassociated state and let's things happen that you'll be screaming no no no about.
Enter Nicholai Fell, psychologist and temporary school councillor he hides a tragic and dark past of his own.
Between them they need to work through their broken pieces and come out the other end whole.
Taboo?
Or two painfully broken souls trying to find their way?
I won't say too much because, you need to read this and experience it for yourselves
I will however, say that the journey between point A and B is so beautifully written, the supporting characters are engaging and though Mika is in a dark place ..light touches her, she finds friendship and learns to let go of the past.
Absolutely one of my top reads of 2018.
Am I gushing 😂 probably but damn this book will give you all the feels and leave you with a smile on your face and a scar on your heart.
July 26, 2018
Jane knows how to take you on an emotional rollercoaster of a ride with no "exit here" until you finish the book. I have felt her rip out my heart, stomp on it, and shove it back into my empty chest cavity, only for her to do it all over again. I have shaken my Kindle. Shouted at it. Glared daggers at it. Hugged it.
August 5, 2018
Oh this author knows how to break me up into a million different pieces and then put me back together again. I Am Grey is dark and heartbreaking but its full of hope and redemption and new beginnings. It's just given me so many intense feelings. I read this book in one sitting, as it wasn't one I could really put down and go back to, I need to know what was going to happen. I needed to know how Mika was going to cope with everything that was thrown at her. I needed to know if my hopes would come through.
This author took me on a wild ride of emotions. This book is an 18+ read and it does have triggers, but it really is a read that I recommend. I will be picking this up to read again, not straight away but when I'm in a reading and personal slump this is a book I will turn to. A fantastic five stars read that blew me away.
This author took me on a wild ride of emotions. This book is an 18+ read and it does have triggers, but it really is a read that I recommend. I will be picking this up to read again, not straight away but when I'm in a reading and personal slump this is a book I will turn to. A fantastic five stars read that blew me away.
July 26, 2018
The gambit of emotions I felt went from anger to grief to screaming to crying to hope to happiness. It was so amazing that you were able to feel every emotion Mika felt. She has an inner strength throughout the book that is stunning. Especially with the things she witnessed. You see her break but she continues to fight. There were times you were so sure she wouldn’t fight to survive but she did. Then there’s Nicholai, he is sexy and domineering but also fighting demons. Spence was the calm in the storm by providing Mika a safe space. Spence somehow overcame life’s FU and was able to help Mika and Nicholai. This story shows how people survive through life’s horrors and become stronger in the end. I can’t even put it into words how amazing this book is.
August 1, 2018
17% DNF
Let me preface by saying I LOVE everything else by this author. This one, though, didn't work for me. Sadly, I was pure bored and I didn't care about the character. Not hate, not disgusted, just didn't care. *sighs*
Oh well. I'll still read everything else by Ms. Washington. Her other books are just that good.
Let me preface by saying I LOVE everything else by this author. This one, though, didn't work for me. Sadly, I was pure bored and I didn't care about the character. Not hate, not disgusted, just didn't care. *sighs*
Oh well. I'll still read everything else by Ms. Washington. Her other books are just that good.
August 15, 2023
Tackles some really dark stuff. TWs galore. A lot of self destructive behaviour, depression. A councillor that probably shouldn't be one. Trope: love can fix/heal a person.
Read this in a day, thus engaged was I.
Read this in a day, thus engaged was I.
November 2, 2019
I bought this months ago without looking at the synopsis. I started reading it without reading it as well. Or any reviews. So I expected a vapid young adult romance to pass a few hours and forget about it the very next day.
Imagine my surprise when apart from the young heroine none of my expectations came true. I am Grey deals with trauma, depression and self-destructive behavior in a pretty decent way. It's not too dark so it can serve young adults (and not so young adults) well in feeling that their feelings are represented without adding more trauma to the mix. Yes, it's a romance but it had some interesting twists along the way. Highly recommended.
Imagine my surprise when apart from the young heroine none of my expectations came true. I am Grey deals with trauma, depression and self-destructive behavior in a pretty decent way. It's not too dark so it can serve young adults (and not so young adults) well in feeling that their feelings are represented without adding more trauma to the mix. Yes, it's a romance but it had some interesting twists along the way. Highly recommended.
Want to read
September 2, 2018💝FREE on Amazon today (9/2/2018)!💝
Blurb:
“Me and you. It’ll never happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not five years from now. Not when some idiot breaks your heart, or when you realise what your little sundresses do to everyone. Not when you’re thirty, not when you’re fifty. I’m going to push your limits, break you down, make you cry, and in the end … I’ll save you.”
Some people exist in the blessed light of day, but I'm not one of those people. I exist in the bleak grey of a post-twilight world, where the warmth is sucked from the air and the weightless shadows come out to play. I will never be free, because I have a demon. It wasn’t always with me, but something happened, something bad. I lost a year of my life, and now here I am, just me and my demon.
Maybe the demon is him: Nicholai Fell. He exists in the horrible darkness of a moonless night: quiet, full of mystery, completely unreachable. He might be in the profession of saving people, but it isn’t going to work this time. Not even when he starts to break all of his own rules.
Because maybe …
Just maybe ...
My demon is me.
This is a full, standalone novel, over 100,000 words.
TRIGGER WARNING: This novel may contain some sensitive subject matter.
Blurb:
“Me and you. It’ll never happen. Not today, not tomorrow, not five years from now. Not when some idiot breaks your heart, or when you realise what your little sundresses do to everyone. Not when you’re thirty, not when you’re fifty. I’m going to push your limits, break you down, make you cry, and in the end … I’ll save you.”
Some people exist in the blessed light of day, but I'm not one of those people. I exist in the bleak grey of a post-twilight world, where the warmth is sucked from the air and the weightless shadows come out to play. I will never be free, because I have a demon. It wasn’t always with me, but something happened, something bad. I lost a year of my life, and now here I am, just me and my demon.
Maybe the demon is him: Nicholai Fell. He exists in the horrible darkness of a moonless night: quiet, full of mystery, completely unreachable. He might be in the profession of saving people, but it isn’t going to work this time. Not even when he starts to break all of his own rules.
Because maybe …
Just maybe ...
My demon is me.
This is a full, standalone novel, over 100,000 words.
TRIGGER WARNING: This novel may contain some sensitive subject matter.
July 26, 2018
One touching and uplifting novel! This will grab onto your heart and squeeze it repeatedly. This was frustratingly brilliant and torturingly sorrowful. The journey that we took with Mika was at times agonizing and really made you want to wrap her up and bring her home. I loved how Mika finally wanted to heal, how she learned that she could feel, that she could trust and most importantly that she could live again. This ended beautifully and I could not have asked for more. Jane Washington is truly one of the most gifted authors! She breaks the characters down and builds them back up again. Her words are brutal and haunting and oh so memorable. I could never have a book conversation and not recommend her writing.
April 20, 2020
A deep and heavy story about a girl who fights depressions and about all the things that she no longer has. This book is heartbreaking, so sad and also somehow full of hope that in the end, all will be alright.
"Every relationship is a choice... Choose me Mika, and I 'll choose you"
"Every relationship is a choice... Choose me Mika, and I 'll choose you"
July 26, 2018
Wow. This book was amazing. I have never before read a book that fully immersed me in a character’s head. I felt everything Mika felt. The writing was that unbelievable.
March 31, 2023
yup I’m biased for this trope but you know what? it was perfectly done so have all the stars.
July 31, 2022
Chronique de Diana :
https://followthereader2016.wordpress...
J’étais très curieuse quand j’ai lu le résumé de ce roman dans le programme des partenaires. Je connais l’auteure par d’autres récits mais c’est souvent des histoires légères et des personnages un peu farfelus. Ici, c’est une autre ambiance mais ça démontre que Jane Washington peut nous surprendre et pas qu’un peu.
Mika Grey est une jeune femme que la vie a anesthésié, elle plonge dans une profonde dépression après un drame familial. On ne sait pas trop ce qu’il s’est passé au début mais elle a perdu ses parents et sa famille proche ne semble pas très heureuse de l’accueillir, elle va donc vivre dans un camping-car. Elle voudrait ressentir des choses mais la torpeur qui l’habite lui permet de faire son deuil ou du moins d’essayer de se reconstruire mais elle ne cesse de s’enfoncer dans un état d’indifférence totale. Sa rencontre avec le psy scolaire va pourtant faire resurgir en elle des émotions, elle déteste ça tout en provoquant encore plus Nicholai Fell.
Nicholai Fell, lui est un héros particulier, il va prendre des risques tout en essayant de poser des limites à cette jeune femme de 18 ans à la dérive. Mais c’est à lui qu’il posera le plus de limites au final. De part son métier, il sait se maitriser et prendre du recul. Cependant, son passé lui peut le rendre impulsif et borderline. Il agit très différemment de Mika mais n’est pas non plus si éloigné de notre personnage féminin.
C’est une véritable seconde chance, un slow-burn qui montre qu’il faut du temps pour accepter d’aller mal, du temps pour se reconstruire et espérer un avenir meilleur. C’est une très belle romance qui traite le deuil, la dépression avec justesse. Pas de mélo, juste des héros qui tentent de faire au mieux avec les cartes que la vie leur a distribuées.
J’ai été très surprise mais j’ai adoré. C’est très bien écrit, on a tendance à vouloir aider les personnages et parfois les secouer. Mais l’auteure n’omet pas de nous faire comprendre que les choix qui se posent à eux, ne sont pas simple et on en vient à se dire qu’aurait-on fait à leur place.
Ce n’est pas un récit larmoyant mais positif, un pas après l’autre, un jour après l’autre ; l’évolution et les étapes que les personnages traversent semblent concrètent et c’est justement en ça que cette lecture est addictive.
Il est possible que pour les lecteurs les plus sensibles, certains passages soient plus compliqués à lire que d’autres mais la construction du récit est bien faite et ça reste une romance contemporaine avec tous les codes du genre.
Une vraie réussite, n’hésitez pas.
https://followthereader2016.wordpress...
J’étais très curieuse quand j’ai lu le résumé de ce roman dans le programme des partenaires. Je connais l’auteure par d’autres récits mais c’est souvent des histoires légères et des personnages un peu farfelus. Ici, c’est une autre ambiance mais ça démontre que Jane Washington peut nous surprendre et pas qu’un peu.
Mika Grey est une jeune femme que la vie a anesthésié, elle plonge dans une profonde dépression après un drame familial. On ne sait pas trop ce qu’il s’est passé au début mais elle a perdu ses parents et sa famille proche ne semble pas très heureuse de l’accueillir, elle va donc vivre dans un camping-car. Elle voudrait ressentir des choses mais la torpeur qui l’habite lui permet de faire son deuil ou du moins d’essayer de se reconstruire mais elle ne cesse de s’enfoncer dans un état d’indifférence totale. Sa rencontre avec le psy scolaire va pourtant faire resurgir en elle des émotions, elle déteste ça tout en provoquant encore plus Nicholai Fell.
Nicholai Fell, lui est un héros particulier, il va prendre des risques tout en essayant de poser des limites à cette jeune femme de 18 ans à la dérive. Mais c’est à lui qu’il posera le plus de limites au final. De part son métier, il sait se maitriser et prendre du recul. Cependant, son passé lui peut le rendre impulsif et borderline. Il agit très différemment de Mika mais n’est pas non plus si éloigné de notre personnage féminin.
C’est une véritable seconde chance, un slow-burn qui montre qu’il faut du temps pour accepter d’aller mal, du temps pour se reconstruire et espérer un avenir meilleur. C’est une très belle romance qui traite le deuil, la dépression avec justesse. Pas de mélo, juste des héros qui tentent de faire au mieux avec les cartes que la vie leur a distribuées.
J’ai été très surprise mais j’ai adoré. C’est très bien écrit, on a tendance à vouloir aider les personnages et parfois les secouer. Mais l’auteure n’omet pas de nous faire comprendre que les choix qui se posent à eux, ne sont pas simple et on en vient à se dire qu’aurait-on fait à leur place.
Ce n’est pas un récit larmoyant mais positif, un pas après l’autre, un jour après l’autre ; l’évolution et les étapes que les personnages traversent semblent concrètent et c’est justement en ça que cette lecture est addictive.
Il est possible que pour les lecteurs les plus sensibles, certains passages soient plus compliqués à lire que d’autres mais la construction du récit est bien faite et ça reste une romance contemporaine avec tous les codes du genre.
Une vraie réussite, n’hésitez pas.
June 3, 2024
An emotional journey!
I did not know what to expect when starting I am grey but I’m glad I did it! I have read almost all of JW’s books but this one definitely is different from her others. It immediately drew me in because of the FMC’s emotionless state. This book will have you intrigued from from the beginning with Mikas emotional journey. Jane really does a fantastic job of writing such a sensitive topic and I loved the ending. I’ve never felt happier for a character than this one with her ending. Such a nice read!
I did not know what to expect when starting I am grey but I’m glad I did it! I have read almost all of JW’s books but this one definitely is different from her others. It immediately drew me in because of the FMC’s emotionless state. This book will have you intrigued from from the beginning with Mikas emotional journey. Jane really does a fantastic job of writing such a sensitive topic and I loved the ending. I’ve never felt happier for a character than this one with her ending. Such a nice read!
August 20, 2018
A really good book. Truly. Just not my thing. A little dark being in someone's mind who is mentally dealing with trauma via self harm etc. Very good read though...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 27, 2018
I Am Grey is brilliant. Jane Washington is a beautiful, brilliant, notable author. This review could stop here because this is all you really need to know. But I need to gush, possibly in an embarrassing manner. You have been warned!
Mika Gray has demons. She has faced a tragedy, spent a year paying for witnessing the tragedy, and is now allowed to rejoin the world. She is alone. Family, friends, the system have failed her, abandoned her, discarded her. Not that she admits it though. She's numb. She's grey. Until him. Nicholai Fell. He could be her savior, he could be her end. He wants to save her, needs to save her. He's willing to break his own rules to do so but in the end, she has to want to be saved and it's not even clear if he can save himself. Grey is deceiving. It appears dull, unassuming but the simple clarity of grey is everything.
I refuse to give one story detail of this book. Read the blurb. What you need to understand is that it is a journey of pure emotion. It's raw. Gritty. Painful. Brutal. Disturbing. It's not the kind of book that you can be assured of the HEA. Not everyone walks away into a beautiful sunset. It could trigger you. This book will break you down. Then it will stomp on you. But you will fall in love, maybe dangerously so. Mika's fragmented soul, fragility, and humanity draw you in, Nic's dangerous devotion is addictive. I was destroyed. I was enthralled. I will be haunted for a long time to come.
This book is so beautifully written. There is nothing on the market I can compare it to. Jane's voice is unique. Each character is so vital, so alive, so human. Mika's insights through her fog, Nic's internal struggles, Marcus's goodness, Jean's friendship, Duke's wickedness, Shel's callousness, and Spencer's steadfastness. A tapestry of humanity, each flawed and so very perfect. Each moment is captured and portrayed to perfection, some heartbreaking, some ugly, some touching, some stunning. These aren't just words on the page; they are common words that somehow have been crafted together to create a work of art. I feel like I have been handed an important gift with this story. I have loved Jane's writing since the first paragraph I read of her first book; enough that I sent her an email after I finished the book. I am a longstanding fan. I expect excellence and entertainment from her. This book exceeded any expectation I may have had. It proves Jane Washington is among the most talented writers of this time. I Am Grey earned a spot on my Best of 2018 list.
Mika Gray has demons. She has faced a tragedy, spent a year paying for witnessing the tragedy, and is now allowed to rejoin the world. She is alone. Family, friends, the system have failed her, abandoned her, discarded her. Not that she admits it though. She's numb. She's grey. Until him. Nicholai Fell. He could be her savior, he could be her end. He wants to save her, needs to save her. He's willing to break his own rules to do so but in the end, she has to want to be saved and it's not even clear if he can save himself. Grey is deceiving. It appears dull, unassuming but the simple clarity of grey is everything.
I refuse to give one story detail of this book. Read the blurb. What you need to understand is that it is a journey of pure emotion. It's raw. Gritty. Painful. Brutal. Disturbing. It's not the kind of book that you can be assured of the HEA. Not everyone walks away into a beautiful sunset. It could trigger you. This book will break you down. Then it will stomp on you. But you will fall in love, maybe dangerously so. Mika's fragmented soul, fragility, and humanity draw you in, Nic's dangerous devotion is addictive. I was destroyed. I was enthralled. I will be haunted for a long time to come.
This book is so beautifully written. There is nothing on the market I can compare it to. Jane's voice is unique. Each character is so vital, so alive, so human. Mika's insights through her fog, Nic's internal struggles, Marcus's goodness, Jean's friendship, Duke's wickedness, Shel's callousness, and Spencer's steadfastness. A tapestry of humanity, each flawed and so very perfect. Each moment is captured and portrayed to perfection, some heartbreaking, some ugly, some touching, some stunning. These aren't just words on the page; they are common words that somehow have been crafted together to create a work of art. I feel like I have been handed an important gift with this story. I have loved Jane's writing since the first paragraph I read of her first book; enough that I sent her an email after I finished the book. I am a longstanding fan. I expect excellence and entertainment from her. This book exceeded any expectation I may have had. It proves Jane Washington is among the most talented writers of this time. I Am Grey earned a spot on my Best of 2018 list.
August 1, 2018
This is one roller coaster of a book. It fits squarely into the Tijuan style of broken heroine, specifically the type that is self destructive with a potential taboo relationship thrown in. This is a style of book I can enjoy but often leaves me with little respect for the heroine and sometimes I just walk away because I cannot take the FMC anymore. Not this time, instead you get the best read of the genre I've encountered (hence the five star rating). It is the book I would recommend to anyone who wants to dip their toe into the waters, but it is a specific sub-genre and full of potential triggers and may not be for everyone.
Jane manages to present Mika Grey without crossing that unlikable and pathetic heroine line and instead drags you through all the emotions Grey is and isn't feeling as she deal with the fall out of the night that changed her life when her parents died and she was found with the murder weapon and covered in blood and causes her to lose a year drugged in an institution. I think what I loved most about this book, is that Grey is aware of what she is doing to herself and that she is heading for self destruction and she isn't sure what to think of it. At times she is full speed ahead, and other times she realizes she still has a chance at life and wants to fight for it. What was also standout is we know some of what made her this way but key information is missing. It keeps you wondering just what exactly happened. When and how she faces that night and with who is the key to her healing.
What complicates the whole situation is her opposite Nicholai Fell. He is supposed to be a professional psychologist who will help her but finds he cannot maintain the boundaries with her that he know the rules says he must. Partially because he knows he cannot reach her that way and partially because he cannot help but be drawn to Mika. Yet he needs to save her as much as for himself as for her. What I like here is Nicholai is not sold as perfect. He very much has his own demons and that he could be lost just as much as Mika with the wrong choices on either of their parts. Their chemistry flies off the page while he tries to keep from crossing the one line that shouldn't be crossed
But the decision of whether to be saved or not is very much Mika's and it isn't all about Nicholai. It is as much about the other relationship she forms in the book and which one she chooses to keep or discard and choosing to be her own person and find her way. You cannot help but triumph with her when she does it and earns her happy ending.
Jane manages to present Mika Grey without crossing that unlikable and pathetic heroine line and instead drags you through all the emotions Grey is and isn't feeling as she deal with the fall out of the night that changed her life when her parents died and she was found with the murder weapon and covered in blood and causes her to lose a year drugged in an institution. I think what I loved most about this book, is that Grey is aware of what she is doing to herself and that she is heading for self destruction and she isn't sure what to think of it. At times she is full speed ahead, and other times she realizes she still has a chance at life and wants to fight for it. What was also standout is we know some of what made her this way but key information is missing. It keeps you wondering just what exactly happened. When and how she faces that night and with who is the key to her healing.
What complicates the whole situation is her opposite Nicholai Fell. He is supposed to be a professional psychologist who will help her but finds he cannot maintain the boundaries with her that he know the rules says he must. Partially because he knows he cannot reach her that way and partially because he cannot help but be drawn to Mika. Yet he needs to save her as much as for himself as for her. What I like here is Nicholai is not sold as perfect. He very much has his own demons and that he could be lost just as much as Mika with the wrong choices on either of their parts. Their chemistry flies off the page while he tries to keep from crossing the one line that shouldn't be crossed
But the decision of whether to be saved or not is very much Mika's and it isn't all about Nicholai. It is as much about the other relationship she forms in the book and which one she chooses to keep or discard and choosing to be her own person and find her way. You cannot help but triumph with her when she does it and earns her happy ending.
July 27, 2018
About 20% into this book, I knew I wasn't sleeping that night without finishing it. 40% in I was so invested in this amazing story, I couldn't control my emotions. By 70% I knew I would reread this book again and again. If you aren't yet aware, this means that this book is AWESOME. If you have dipped your toe into Jane Washington's books before and thought 'meh' firstly - what is wrong with you, her books are all awesome and secondly, this is SO different from her usual style.
This book is an absolute work of art. I have never in my life experienced the range of emotions that I did over the course of a single novel. The main character is so brilliantly portrayed, I wanted to slap her, throttle her and hug her all at the same time, you may love her, you may even not like her, but trust me you will FEEL for this girl. Nicholai Fell.......again you cannot NOT have an emotion about this guy, he's a character you will love even when you are reading thinking 'no no don't do it Nicholai, no!'
I don't like reviews with spoilers, so I won't go into depths but trust me I could write for days on this book! I will say, this is not just about 2 people, there are so many other characters that have their own very significant parts to the unfolding of this story that the two mains are even more 'fleshed' out, they give the characters more character if you know what I mean!
This is one of those rare books that you will drop everything for, you will binge read it and then need to read it again, you will go to sleep thinking about it and wake up thinking about it - well I know I definitely did. It really is AMAZING!
It's a rollercoaster of emotions that feels you leaving drained at the end of it because just WOW. So beautifully written, I dare you not to love it.
This book is an absolute work of art. I have never in my life experienced the range of emotions that I did over the course of a single novel. The main character is so brilliantly portrayed, I wanted to slap her, throttle her and hug her all at the same time, you may love her, you may even not like her, but trust me you will FEEL for this girl. Nicholai Fell.......again you cannot NOT have an emotion about this guy, he's a character you will love even when you are reading thinking 'no no don't do it Nicholai, no!'
I don't like reviews with spoilers, so I won't go into depths but trust me I could write for days on this book! I will say, this is not just about 2 people, there are so many other characters that have their own very significant parts to the unfolding of this story that the two mains are even more 'fleshed' out, they give the characters more character if you know what I mean!
This is one of those rare books that you will drop everything for, you will binge read it and then need to read it again, you will go to sleep thinking about it and wake up thinking about it - well I know I definitely did. It really is AMAZING!
It's a rollercoaster of emotions that feels you leaving drained at the end of it because just WOW. So beautifully written, I dare you not to love it.
August 14, 2018
THIS IS NOT LIKE ANYTHING YOU HAVE READ FROM THIS AUTHOR.
This is a story about Grey and how a traumatic event sent her into a self destructive downward spiral. She is surrounded by people who fail to reach her and break through the numbness or breakdowns...... except the school councillor.
A good 3/4 of the book is Grey stumbling through situations that eventually make her even more of a victim and homeless and it’s an extremely frustrating read.
Her relationship with the school councillor and his decisions when it comes to supporting a vulnerable teenager make it hard to sympathise with his character or feel like he is right for her at all, but then, she’s messed up and sleeps with other guys, while pushing his buttons so 🤷♀️
The writing was good and a book where the MC has a mental illness is going to be a tough read. Which is why, I think, I’m more forgiving of the MCs making imperfect choices. I still wasn’t feeling the epic romance. By the time I got to a rather choppy ending I kind of felt as numb as Grey did about her messed up life.
On a positive note though it was nice to read something different that you couldn’t really predict where it was going.
This is a story about Grey and how a traumatic event sent her into a self destructive downward spiral. She is surrounded by people who fail to reach her and break through the numbness or breakdowns...... except the school councillor.
A good 3/4 of the book is Grey stumbling through situations that eventually make her even more of a victim and homeless and it’s an extremely frustrating read.
Her relationship with the school councillor and his decisions when it comes to supporting a vulnerable teenager make it hard to sympathise with his character or feel like he is right for her at all, but then, she’s messed up and sleeps with other guys, while pushing his buttons so 🤷♀️
The writing was good and a book where the MC has a mental illness is going to be a tough read. Which is why, I think, I’m more forgiving of the MCs making imperfect choices. I still wasn’t feeling the epic romance. By the time I got to a rather choppy ending I kind of felt as numb as Grey did about her messed up life.
On a positive note though it was nice to read something different that you couldn’t really predict where it was going.
July 31, 2018
I am Grey is a very different read from my normal choice but I’m a massive fan of this author so this was an immediate one click buy for me. This isn’t the sort of book to sit down with a cuppa after a long day and unwind with - this story will rip your heart out and leave you a little broken! It’s intense and heartbreaking - the characters lives have been destroyed and this story is the aftermath of that devastation. The storytelling is brutal, their pain bleeds off the pages and it left me shaken at times. This author has an amazing ability to describe the simplest and complicated things in such a unique and beautiful way that it’s impossible not to love this story even if it is a heavy read.
This book won’t be for everyone in fact I think it will shock people...it shocked me....it’s a testament to the creativity and talent of this author - it’s a beautiful piece of writing.
There are definitely a lot of triggers in this story that some readers may struggle with and I’d recommend it for 18+.
This book won’t be for everyone in fact I think it will shock people...it shocked me....it’s a testament to the creativity and talent of this author - it’s a beautiful piece of writing.
There are definitely a lot of triggers in this story that some readers may struggle with and I’d recommend it for 18+.
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