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The Longing
Sydney is haunted by her past.
The trauma of Sydney's dark childhood is something she would do anything to forget. Now only nineteen, she's trying to start over with a new life and a new name, but you can't escape the past...
Caroline is the most stunning woman Sydney has ever seen. Every night, Sydney hears her singing from her apartment window, and every night, Sydney's heart aches with something indescribable. When Caroline offers singing lessons, Sydney jumps at the chance to be in the captivating woman's presence...but her desire for Caroline can't be hidden. And Caroline is over twice her age.
Through Caroline's gentle instruction, Sydney finds her voice again. The broken girl feels like she's starting to mend. But her infatuation with Caroline is reaching a fevered pitch...
Will Sydney lose everything if Caroline finds out the girl is in love with her?
Provocative, passionate and achingly raw, THE LONGING, the latest romance from best-selling author Bridget Essex, explores the unbreakable human heart in a love story that you'll never forget.
59,500 words
The trauma of Sydney's dark childhood is something she would do anything to forget. Now only nineteen, she's trying to start over with a new life and a new name, but you can't escape the past...
Caroline is the most stunning woman Sydney has ever seen. Every night, Sydney hears her singing from her apartment window, and every night, Sydney's heart aches with something indescribable. When Caroline offers singing lessons, Sydney jumps at the chance to be in the captivating woman's presence...but her desire for Caroline can't be hidden. And Caroline is over twice her age.
Through Caroline's gentle instruction, Sydney finds her voice again. The broken girl feels like she's starting to mend. But her infatuation with Caroline is reaching a fevered pitch...
Will Sydney lose everything if Caroline finds out the girl is in love with her?
Provocative, passionate and achingly raw, THE LONGING, the latest romance from best-selling author Bridget Essex, explores the unbreakable human heart in a love story that you'll never forget.
59,500 words
252 pages, ebook
First published September 26, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
January 22, 2018
“The Longing” is a like participating in an extended intensive therapy session. I feel badly for Sydney’s crappy background, and for Essex’s real life crappy experience with her own parents, but “The Longing” is neither entertaining nor educational…it’s unpleasant.
Unlike most (every other?) of Essex’s books, there are no werewolves, extraterrestrials or true angels from heaven; everyone is human. What is familiar, though, is the instalove 19yo Sydney feels for 45yo Caroline. In fact, Sydney falls in love before she even sees or meets Caroline; she determines that the singing voice she hears is that of an angel. Her determination to let Caroline know she loves her almost escalates to stalker territory as she shares her thoughts of devotion with readers/listeners, but since Caroline is secretly attracted to Sydney, I suppose it all kind of works out acceptably.
Besides being actually human, Caroline is also not the pillar of perfection that Essex’s mere mortals normally swoon over. Caroline is a nice enough sympathetic character, having been dumped a year ago by her long time girlfriend, and she’s targeted for being gay by a wacko neighbor. Other than being attracted to 19yo Sydney physically and admiring her bravery for not denying being gay even in the face of extreme hardship and cruelty, it’s never really clear why 45yo Caroline falls so quickly in love with Sydney.
Being such a very nice person, it’s unrealistic that all of Caroline’s friends, as well as her ex, are complete and utter unpleasant bitches. Why would she be friends with such nasty people?
Well, I hung on through Sydney’s anxiety attacks and wondered how an HEA would be crafted for her and Sydney. Meh - it was just sort of slapped on at the end. The long anticipated sexy fun time for virgin Sydney and experienced Caroline was far too brief and fade-to-black to add any final enjoyment to the book.
The writing, as is usually the case for Essex, is lush and evocative. Unfortunately, both the writing and the narration focus on dark, dreary emotions throughout the book. “Melodramatic” could’ve been my one-word review for “The Longing”. 2.5* rounded down to 2* because it did indeed disappoint me.
Unlike most (every other?) of Essex’s books, there are no werewolves, extraterrestrials or true angels from heaven; everyone is human. What is familiar, though, is the instalove 19yo Sydney feels for 45yo Caroline. In fact, Sydney falls in love before she even sees or meets Caroline; she determines that the singing voice she hears is that of an angel. Her determination to let Caroline know she loves her almost escalates to stalker territory as she shares her thoughts of devotion with readers/listeners, but since Caroline is secretly attracted to Sydney, I suppose it all kind of works out acceptably.
Besides being actually human, Caroline is also not the pillar of perfection that Essex’s mere mortals normally swoon over. Caroline is a nice enough sympathetic character, having been dumped a year ago by her long time girlfriend, and she’s targeted for being gay by a wacko neighbor. Other than being attracted to 19yo Sydney physically and admiring her bravery for not denying being gay even in the face of extreme hardship and cruelty, it’s never really clear why 45yo Caroline falls so quickly in love with Sydney.
Being such a very nice person, it’s unrealistic that all of Caroline’s friends, as well as her ex, are complete and utter unpleasant bitches. Why would she be friends with such nasty people?
Well, I hung on through Sydney’s anxiety attacks and wondered how an HEA would be crafted for her and Sydney. Meh - it was just sort of slapped on at the end. The long anticipated sexy fun time for virgin Sydney and experienced Caroline was far too brief and fade-to-black to add any final enjoyment to the book.
The writing, as is usually the case for Essex, is lush and evocative. Unfortunately, both the writing and the narration focus on dark, dreary emotions throughout the book. “Melodramatic” could’ve been my one-word review for “The Longing”. 2.5* rounded down to 2* because it did indeed disappoint me.
November 11, 2017
I like this story, and Bridget Essex's writing style in general, but she annoys me constantly with one thing -- she has published tons of e-books and has not yet learned how to format them properly. Bah!
3.5 stars
Nov 11, 2017
3.5 stars
Nov 11, 2017
October 28, 2017
In search of an easy read, Bridget Essex never disappoints there, I perused this one. And it proved far deeper than some of her other books. We have the instant connection (love-on-first-sight or here love-on-first-listen), which I think is almost a trademark of her books. We also have the difficulties in spite of this instant connection. However, in her other books this is mostly something supernatural: werewolf loves human, the lovers are from different worlds, or a concept along those lines a guardian angel falls in love with the human she is supposed to protect.
In this book, however, the issue is a mixture of society (hatred of homosexuals), deep-seated issues (PTSD) and age-difference. Thus I could summarize that in Bridget's other books the real issue of people struggling to be together is being eased by the supernatural aspect. It is easier for the reader to just say: "Common, you love each other. Why do you care what society thinks? There is never a guarantee for a happy ending, but there won't be one at all if you don't rise above this."
So, how come it is not so easy to say this if the issues are REAL - like that could be me - that could be my friend ... ?
To sum it up, this is a beautiful and even magical story. Yet, it is far more real than her other books.
In this book, however, the issue is a mixture of society (hatred of homosexuals), deep-seated issues (PTSD) and age-difference. Thus I could summarize that in Bridget's other books the real issue of people struggling to be together is being eased by the supernatural aspect. It is easier for the reader to just say: "Common, you love each other. Why do you care what society thinks? There is never a guarantee for a happy ending, but there won't be one at all if you don't rise above this."
So, how come it is not so easy to say this if the issues are REAL - like that could be me - that could be my friend ... ?
To sum it up, this is a beautiful and even magical story. Yet, it is far more real than her other books.
February 21, 2018
My response to The Longing is very similar to how I felt about Kate Genet's Don't Go There. There is an emotional inequality between the characters that makes it difficult for me to envisage the romance.
Sydney is a 19-year-old with PTSD and panic attacks caused by (possibly) two years in a conversion camp for gay teens where she was tortured, starved and abused (tell me these don't still exist). She works in a clothing store where she earns barely enough to feed herself and her dog and lives in an a mostly unfurnished apartment in a block called the Hamilton. She's told nobody of her experience, not even her friend at work, Thom, who is also gay.
One day, while walking her dog, she hears the most beautiful singing which distracts her enough that she loses sight of her dog. A woman comes to her rescue, assists her in finding the dog and they become friendly. Caroline is 45 and also the singer Sydney had heard.
The story is told in third person but concentrates on Sydney so it is her thoughts and feelings we are privy to. Initially Sydney's pain, terror and confusion was beautifully expressed but as the story progressed she kept slipping out of character in ways that were really jarring with her residual trauma. For example,
I think this could have been so much more powerful if the story had been longer and the characters had been given the chance to deal with the trauma without being forced into an instalove HEA.
Sydney is a 19-year-old with PTSD and panic attacks caused by (possibly) two years in a conversion camp for gay teens where she was tortured, starved and abused (tell me these don't still exist). She works in a clothing store where she earns barely enough to feed herself and her dog and lives in an a mostly unfurnished apartment in a block called the Hamilton. She's told nobody of her experience, not even her friend at work, Thom, who is also gay.
One day, while walking her dog, she hears the most beautiful singing which distracts her enough that she loses sight of her dog. A woman comes to her rescue, assists her in finding the dog and they become friendly. Caroline is 45 and also the singer Sydney had heard.
The story is told in third person but concentrates on Sydney so it is her thoughts and feelings we are privy to. Initially Sydney's pain, terror and confusion was beautifully expressed but as the story progressed she kept slipping out of character in ways that were really jarring with her residual trauma. For example,
I think this could have been so much more powerful if the story had been longer and the characters had been given the chance to deal with the trauma without being forced into an instalove HEA.
October 1, 2017
Unforgettable!
This is a very heartfelt read and It contains heavy sensitive topics. A beautiful story not only about survival but also about understanding (or lack of it), identity, family rejection, bigotry, ignorance, confusion, courage, determination and an overwhelming undeniable love. The leading thread of this story is the emotional and psychological damage caused by conversion therapy. An incredible fantastic story. Sometimes difficult to read because of the emotional turmoil of the main character. It is written with so much passion, love and compassion. It makes my heart ache and break for Sydney. A story that I will never forget and it’s worth every moment spent reading.
This is a very heartfelt read and It contains heavy sensitive topics. A beautiful story not only about survival but also about understanding (or lack of it), identity, family rejection, bigotry, ignorance, confusion, courage, determination and an overwhelming undeniable love. The leading thread of this story is the emotional and psychological damage caused by conversion therapy. An incredible fantastic story. Sometimes difficult to read because of the emotional turmoil of the main character. It is written with so much passion, love and compassion. It makes my heart ache and break for Sydney. A story that I will never forget and it’s worth every moment spent reading.
November 12, 2017
Sooooo, a rating of 3 stars can mean a few different things for me. It may mean it was a good story, but I didn't like it quite as much as a 4. In this case, I gave a 3 stars because although the I think the book is well written it wasn't a good read for me. I found it to be really dark. The main character has been through some seriously awful shit and a large part of the story is about the consequences of this and how she starts to get better. It's damn depressing and I just don't like to read about that stuff. Yes, I'm aware this kind of thing happens. I just see enough bad stuff on the news and don't really care to read about it in my fiction.
October 1, 2017
Heartwarming
This is such a heartwarming and romantic story, I was immediately drawn in. The horrific things Sydney had to endure as a young woman, is simply devastating but she never lets that stop her. Even though she suffers debilitating panic attacks, she still fights through them. Her relationship with Caroline is so touching that I could not stop reading this book! I would love to read a sequel!
This is such a heartwarming and romantic story, I was immediately drawn in. The horrific things Sydney had to endure as a young woman, is simply devastating but she never lets that stop her. Even though she suffers debilitating panic attacks, she still fights through them. Her relationship with Caroline is so touching that I could not stop reading this book! I would love to read a sequel!
October 5, 2017
2.5 rounded up to 3 stars. It's a cute, quick story but I felt that the trauma was glossed over. We don't really get any scenes from her days in hell and we don't get any scenes with her overcoming her trauma. She suffers a few panic attacks and then she falls in love and everything's alright in the world. It's not bad if you like the idea about love fixing everything but I like my stories deeper and more grounded in reality.
September 29, 2017
Beautiful
A heart warming love story so beautifully written. Bridget Essex never fails to deliver, I highly recommend reading this story
A heart warming love story so beautifully written. Bridget Essex never fails to deliver, I highly recommend reading this story
October 9, 2017
Nice story
I enjoyed reading this story but I personally can't imagine dating someone less than half my age. It was a really cute story though.
I enjoyed reading this story but I personally can't imagine dating someone less than half my age. It was a really cute story though.
September 30, 2017
Classic lesbian romance.
Outwardly, Sydney and Caroline share nothing in common. However, life has not treated either woman gently. Sydney, at just nineteen, has been deeply damaged by her parent's homophobic hatred. Caroline, at forty five, suffered betrayal by her ex and harassment by her Jesus freak neighbor. As she's walking her dog, Sydney hears Caroline singing and falls in love with the angelic sound. Fate keeps bringing the two together, but hard hearted people try to push them apart.
The Longing is Sydney's story. It takes everything that she has to overcome paralyzing anxiety and PTSD. She is a paycheck away from homelessness and battles crushing flashbacks. Her body, heart and soul long for the connection that she feels to Caroline. The short novel is a classic, because it doesn't oversell promises of an HEA. Pain infuses this romance, but hope gives it meaning. I will remember this book for a long time. I'm thankful that Bridget Essex has what it takes to write it.
Outwardly, Sydney and Caroline share nothing in common. However, life has not treated either woman gently. Sydney, at just nineteen, has been deeply damaged by her parent's homophobic hatred. Caroline, at forty five, suffered betrayal by her ex and harassment by her Jesus freak neighbor. As she's walking her dog, Sydney hears Caroline singing and falls in love with the angelic sound. Fate keeps bringing the two together, but hard hearted people try to push them apart.
The Longing is Sydney's story. It takes everything that she has to overcome paralyzing anxiety and PTSD. She is a paycheck away from homelessness and battles crushing flashbacks. Her body, heart and soul long for the connection that she feels to Caroline. The short novel is a classic, because it doesn't oversell promises of an HEA. Pain infuses this romance, but hope gives it meaning. I will remember this book for a long time. I'm thankful that Bridget Essex has what it takes to write it.
June 23, 2020
From Audible Account Review:
A story that I'm certain will strike a chord with many! As Sydney learns to traverse the world on her own, alone except her dog Max, and afraid she finds strength and beauty in the world around her and within herself. Despite a difficult past and being subjected to being told her attraction to girls was wrong and therefore she was wrong, she finds her voice and strength in Caroline. After embracing her true self, she plans to lead "the gayest, happiest life".
My only criticism is that it took the entire book for the two main characters to finally come together and share their feelings for one another.
The narrator had great balance between the different character voices and had a very soothing cadence. I look forward to hearing more narrated by her.
I received a free audible code through a Facebook group giveaway and am providing my honest review voluntarily.
A story that I'm certain will strike a chord with many! As Sydney learns to traverse the world on her own, alone except her dog Max, and afraid she finds strength and beauty in the world around her and within herself. Despite a difficult past and being subjected to being told her attraction to girls was wrong and therefore she was wrong, she finds her voice and strength in Caroline. After embracing her true self, she plans to lead "the gayest, happiest life".
My only criticism is that it took the entire book for the two main characters to finally come together and share their feelings for one another.
The narrator had great balance between the different character voices and had a very soothing cadence. I look forward to hearing more narrated by her.
I received a free audible code through a Facebook group giveaway and am providing my honest review voluntarily.
November 13, 2017
This was such a touching book, at least for me. I connected with the story in a very personal manner so perhaps I am a bit biased.
This story I would "make" read to those who tell me that:
"Why do you take it so personal on gay topics?
We live in a world where gay are accepted. You are just making it all up in your mind."
This story depicts eloquently and with deep sensitivity which issues, homosexual people have still to endure in this "modern" society of ours. From side glances, giggles and white lies, to downright conversion therapy. The consequences of which are never really truly handled or talked about by the medical society, the healing arts or society at large.
For many of us, it is a lifelong journey to healing ourselves back whole.
Thank you, Bridget Essex for writing this story.
This story I would "make" read to those who tell me that:
"Why do you take it so personal on gay topics?
We live in a world where gay are accepted. You are just making it all up in your mind."
This story depicts eloquently and with deep sensitivity which issues, homosexual people have still to endure in this "modern" society of ours. From side glances, giggles and white lies, to downright conversion therapy. The consequences of which are never really truly handled or talked about by the medical society, the healing arts or society at large.
For many of us, it is a lifelong journey to healing ourselves back whole.
Thank you, Bridget Essex for writing this story.
October 20, 2017
Beautiful.
I haven't read many books by this author and I'm not sure I will, but I did read this one and it was truly magical. Sydney's anxiety is so perfectly portrayed with just the right words and emotions that the reader actually feels it. Such a great story that even without the happy ending this book would have been beautiful. Sydney's survival was agony but she did survive and she did rise above what was done to her in the name of God. Not to be left out, Caroline was pretty wonderful also. Very well done and highly recommended.
I haven't read many books by this author and I'm not sure I will, but I did read this one and it was truly magical. Sydney's anxiety is so perfectly portrayed with just the right words and emotions that the reader actually feels it. Such a great story that even without the happy ending this book would have been beautiful. Sydney's survival was agony but she did survive and she did rise above what was done to her in the name of God. Not to be left out, Caroline was pretty wonderful also. Very well done and highly recommended.
February 11, 2019
Read last year but realized I never marked it when I went to return it on KindleUnlimited today.
Uh, not to be a downer but, this was a real low point in the Bridget Essex experience for me. I think I may have read like... every book she's put out? Stick with the Knight books. The werewolf ones are OK. Everything else I've read has been going steadily downhill.
It doesn't really deserve only one star but, saying "It was OK" and giving it two stars honestly feels like too much. Because I've enjoyed so many of her other books I'll give some benefit of doubt on this one.
Uh, not to be a downer but, this was a real low point in the Bridget Essex experience for me. I think I may have read like... every book she's put out? Stick with the Knight books. The werewolf ones are OK. Everything else I've read has been going steadily downhill.
It doesn't really deserve only one star but, saying "It was OK" and giving it two stars honestly feels like too much. Because I've enjoyed so many of her other books I'll give some benefit of doubt on this one.
September 30, 2017
Outstanding
Emotional
Heartwrenching
Joyfully hopeful
Sweet
Words can't truely describe how amazing this book is. I was drawn in from the start and made to feel everything Sydney was living through. You forget just how old she is when you get to know her.
The story has depth and it's well written.
This is not your average slow burn romance. It's a stair way to Heaven.
Emotional
Heartwrenching
Joyfully hopeful
Sweet
Words can't truely describe how amazing this book is. I was drawn in from the start and made to feel everything Sydney was living through. You forget just how old she is when you get to know her.
The story has depth and it's well written.
This is not your average slow burn romance. It's a stair way to Heaven.
November 18, 2017
Rubbish by her standards
Rubbish by her standards it was the same dribble over and over again and again not a lot of story,it must of taken at least 10 minutes to think of this plot.No more of Bridget for me
Rubbish by her standards it was the same dribble over and over again and again not a lot of story,it must of taken at least 10 minutes to think of this plot.No more of Bridget for me
February 17, 2019
Traumatic tale of physical and mental anguish . Fraught with misery and pain . The bright hope for the victim is the lady in 718B !💞 This is a story that will enrage and make you cry and eventually bring gladness also .
February 24, 2020
I liked it enough to finish it cuz I needed to know there was a HEA because of the trauma one of the characters has endured. It did get to be a bit much so, confess I started to skip through a bit of it to get to the end.
November 15, 2017
Great!
This book was heartbreaking at the start. It’s not a light, happy read. But it is very well written! The best books make you feel, and this book certainly did just that.
This book was heartbreaking at the start. It’s not a light, happy read. But it is very well written! The best books make you feel, and this book certainly did just that.
December 7, 2017
Why isn’t this in paperback?
So I totally loved this and I really wasn’t expecting too. I do wish there was more to the story and more with the conflict with Theresa and maybe more about Caroline’s internal conflict, maybe a little more detail to the intimate scene at the end... but this was a really great read and I’d definitely read this again like a million times.
Although, I do admit that I am super uncomfortable with the age gap... but I think the mental maturity with that kind of trauma though.... so it doesn’t feel as big of a gap at least.
So I totally loved this and I really wasn’t expecting too. I do wish there was more to the story and more with the conflict with Theresa and maybe more about Caroline’s internal conflict, maybe a little more detail to the intimate scene at the end... but this was a really great read and I’d definitely read this again like a million times.
Although, I do admit that I am super uncomfortable with the age gap... but I think the mental maturity with that kind of trauma though.... so it doesn’t feel as big of a gap at least.
June 26, 2025
This is a traumatic storyline with a hope for a better future. This couple are very sweet together. Very enjoyable. A great performance.
April 29, 2021
A very beautiful age gap story that focuses on what's truly important in life - Love. It is emotional and thought provoking giving new perspectives to the diversity of challenges faced every day in our human form.
November 30, 2018
We wish we hadn’t wasted our time on this book. Honestly. We need to be refunded the time we spent on it.
This is an angst-ridden tale of nineteen-year-old Sydney haunted by a constantly referred to before. Sadly, though Sydney is a tortured soul, she doesn’t evoke any sympathy. In fact, she just gets irritating with her tortured angst.
Read full review @https://bestlesficreviews.blogspot.co...
This is an angst-ridden tale of nineteen-year-old Sydney haunted by a constantly referred to before. Sadly, though Sydney is a tortured soul, she doesn’t evoke any sympathy. In fact, she just gets irritating with her tortured angst.
Read full review @https://bestlesficreviews.blogspot.co...
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews