An Apocalypse of Our Own

by Jeff Strand

This book is included in the collection FIVE NOVELLAS by Jeff Strand.

Can the friend zone survive the end of the world?

Missy and Kevin are friends. Just friends. They’d never actually date each other, because they’ve been friends since childhood and that would be weird.

Now it’s the apocalypse. People are leaking blood from their eyeballs and turning into homicidal oozing mutants. Fortunately, Kevin has access to an underground shelter, and he and Missy make it there in time to avoid a horrible gruesome death.

But they’re trapped down there.

Things are going to get weird.

A gooey 24,000-word novella from the four-time Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of such demented horror/comedies as BLISTER, WOLF HUNT, DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE, and BENJAMIN'S PARASITE.

Genres: Horror, Humor, Zombies, Short Stories, Novella, Apocalyptic, Science Fiction

88 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 28, 2017

About the author

Bram Stoker Award-winning author of a bunch of demented books, including PRESSURE, DWELLER, CLOWNS VS. SPIDERS, AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER, MY PRETTIES, the official novelization of ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, and lots of others!

Reviews

[MarilynW · Rating 4 out of 5]

Missy and Kevin have been friends for twenty years, since they were six years old. They tell each other everything and Kevin would never be adverse to moving on to friends with benefits but Missy says that would be like doing it with your brother. Just Kevin's luck that a zombie apocalypse comes along, traps Missy and Kevin in a tiny, underground shelter and Missy is ready to take their relationship to the next step, out of boredom. Who is Kevin to complain?!

Still, this kind of existence isn't all sex and sex. Living this close to one person, eating beans for every meal, sleeping in a tiny, single bed, nothing else entertaining to do, actually makes sex not as much fun, anymore. And there are sounds of stomping outside the bunker. They can't stay here forever. Things were already gross and they are going to get so much more gross. But, I couldn't help laughing at this story...just hope I'm never in this situation because I don't think I could keep my sense of humor. 

I'm blaming Mort and Farrah's reviews for enticing me to read a book that would have never been on my TBR list if they hadn't made this book sound so grossly funny. This was a Kindle Unlimited selection. Published September 28th 2017

[Mort · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to write this one purely from a male point of view...

For most of us (men, that is), there was a time in your life when you were attracted to a woman and became her friend. It will only be later that you realize that she has filed you under the "friend" file in her brain. Which means the chance of going from "friend" to "romantic interest" has all but evaporated...
Sigh.
Ladies, let me tell you something:
You might think you are letting us down easy, but saying things like "I don't think of you in that way", "I don't want to ruin our friendship" or "Things will be weird between us" does not help. I mean, AT ALL. Those words rate somewhere between "Any rational woman with any self respect won't even come near you, freak!" and a solid, bulls-eye kick in the groin.
So, ladies, all men won't befriend you because they have ulterior motives, but all men do have dicks (and some of them are), so please keep in mind that there may come a time when you will have to face the prospect of SOMETHING possibly happening. It may be unlikely, but you never know when it will actually be the Apocalypse...

Which brings us to this delightful story by Jeff Strand...

The blurb says it all, but don't be fooled by the "romantic" hints, in the usual Strand way, there will be blood and gore and, well, hilariously funny violence...

Great for a laugh that will make you question how sick you really are...

[Dan · Rating 3 out of 5]

When a green cloud makes people hemorrhage from every orifice, friends Kevin and Missy find themselves trapped in a bomb shelter. Can their friendship survive the end of the world, killer mutants, and having sex with each other?

Jeff Strand's brand of horror comedy is normally a can't miss prospect for me. This one popped up for ninety-nine cents and I was powerless to resist.

For a book that mostly takes place in a bomb shelter, An Apocalypse of Our Own is surprisingly hilarious. Kevin and Missy try to maintain a sense of normalcy while subsisting on canned goods and trying to crack the code on a lock that only allows them four attempts a day.

Strand's gore-strewn comedic skills are in full effect here. I had to stifle laughter quite a few times. I wound up busting this down half a star because of the dark turn near the end. Who would have thought an apocalypse featuring flesh-eating mutants would be such a downer? 3.5 out of 5 stars.

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Two life-long friends hide out in a tiny survival bunker after the world gets taken over by mutant zombies. There's blood, madness, and lots of guts and body parts. But there's also casual sex, cans of beans, and it's also funny as hell. Not only must our heroes struggle with now being friends with benefits, but also with how the hell to survive this.

This is a story that could only come from the mind of Jeff Strand and is suitably entertaining. But it doesn't balance the tone as well as his more successful books and leans a little too much on the jokey side of things, where it lost some of its urgency. But it's still a laugh-out-loud read that will be a good way to spend an afternoon!

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even a bloody, gory, apocalypse can be humorous in the hands of Jeff Strand!!
(mini H/C)

[Farrah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read so many short stories and most of them eventually drift from my memory. This one is completely different. It's in my Top 3 favourites and I loved everything about it.

[Peter Topside · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really great apocalyptic, end of the world type story. From the synopsis, I was expecting lots of romance with the sinister backdrop. However, the author did a wonderful job focusing on the friendship of Missy and Kevin. The good, the bad, the silliness, the confusing aspects, and all of it. That was the best part of this story. And, as a side note, I loved how the author resisted the urge to detail any of the intimate encounters. He made sure to keep that focus where it needed to be. And the creatures and situation at large were fun, bringing in the right type and amount of horror elements. My only critiques here were that certain, important plot points were underdeveloped (What the cause of the situation was) and the pacing towards the end felt very rushed. Beyond that, this had a ton to enjoy for horror fans.

[John The Crippledgimp · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a pretty fun quick read. I thought that parts of this story were kinda funny just because of how the main characters were so casual about dealing with a apocalypse full of mutants. All in all though this was a good, quick, fun read.

[Sandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mutants, madness, and aliens, oh my! Yet another hilarious and slightly gross story from Jeff Strand. This was a quick read and as always with Jeff's books I was sad when i finished it. I 🖤 Jeff Strand and his twisted imagination!!!!

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well what can I say? As usual this is funny and a bit gross, ok really quite gross. There is an apocalypse, mutants, romance (ish) and lots of blood and gore. All in all really entertaining, my only problem is that it was far too short- I wanted more!

[Bandit · Rating 3 out of 5]

I actually downloaded and read this book immediately following another Strand book. Because he’s awesome like that. This book is more along the lines of Strand’s darker fictional writings, it does feature an apocalypse, but it’s still very him, very funny. It’s a story of two lifelong best friends whose friendship gets tested by getting stuck in a small fallout shelter during an end of the world scenario. The situation itself is comedy gold if you know how to work it (and Strand does) plus there’s that entire thing about how straight men and straight women can’t just be friends without romance/sex getting in the way. This book certainly sticks to the popular version of that theme. So yeah. You don’t get that much of the actual apocalypse, just at the beginning and the end, but then again it’s a pretty short novella. You do get a lot of entertainment for the page count and it is a well rounded story, not just a snippet or half realized concept, so that’s nice. But the main attraction here is Strand’s writing, it’s just so charmingly wacky and irreverently funny. An absolute pleasure to read, no matter what genre he chooses to tell a story in. Oodles of fun for maybe 55 minutes of reading of so. Recommended.

[Noigeloverlord · Rating 5 out of 5]

Strand does the Apocalypse

Jeff Strand gives us a glimpse into the Apocalypse like no other writer can. Horrifying, humorous and gory! A refreshing fun tale from the Master of putting humor in Horror

[Donna Fitzpatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would you believe an amusing novella that takes place almost entirely in a bomb shelter about the apocalypse? YEP! Another awesome book by Jeff Strand. I never thought I would say this but I actually caught myself laughing out loud over a grisly dismemberment.

[Paul (Life In The Slow Lane) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Moral of the story: When you're a zombie, beware of holes.

Apocalypse happens. Missy and Kevin run to his uncle's underground disaster shelter but get trapped down there...for various reasons. Luckily, they have nothing to pass the time but sex. LOTS of sex. They escape and other stuff happens.

I loved this story: A. Because it's a novella and I like shortish stories these days. B. There's lots of witty repartee. C. It contains a bit of humour too. I took one star off because the ending happened a bit too suddenly.

It seems I'm in a "Jeff Strand" phase, (judging by the number of his books I have downloaded on my Kindle), when I REALLY want to be in my S. A. Ison phase. Don't worry S. A. Ison. Your phase will be coming up soon. My download finger is very itchy.

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

‘Love is...Forever Together.’ Pre-apocalypse, the apocalypse itself, post-apocalypse - yes, all are covered in this short, fun-filled, action packed insular dystopian novella. Expect all the usual weirdly absurd beautiful JS delicacies such as blood, gore, gooey liquids, mutilations, deaths and monsters, all wrapped up with an ample sprinkling of casual sexual practices in his familiar trademark laddish style format. Just a little disappointed with the ending, which felt rushed, a bit flat and quite unimaginative - did he lose interest in adding the final shocking twist to the story’s final conclusion?...I wonder. Anyway, if the above appeals to you then go ahead and enjoy the journey, I’m sure you will. ‘Uncle Jake - you absolute legend!’ Rating 4.2 stars.

[Hans · Rating 5 out of 5]

put down THE STAND or whatever bloated corpse of a novel your trudging through and pick up Jeff Strand's AN APOCALYPSE OF OUR OWN , i was grossed out and laughing for 2 solid hours. A hilarious take on Social distancing and love. You will thank me later

[Xtina Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I seriously laughed out loud. And then cringed, and laughed some more. I love Strand's writing, and cannot wait for more!

[Darrell Grizzle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick and entertaining read, by turns hilarious and horrifying.

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yep. Strand.

[Jonathan Pongratz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, what a fun novella!

In this story we focus on Missy and Kevin. They've been best friends forever, so it's natural that they stick together when the world falls apart and a strange green smoke starts killing everyone. Luckily, Kevin has a paranoid uncle with a bunker out in the woods. Can Missy and Kevin survive the apocalypse?

There was a lot I really loved with this story. Most of all, it was the horror comedy combo. It's tough to get both genres to compliment each other in the right way, but Strand is apparently a master at this. Most of the humor came in the form of funny observations and bickering between Missy and Kevin, and I was here for it!

Missy and Kevin are relatively normal individuals, so their mindset during all this chaos made a lot of sense.

There was also a lot of mystery as to what was truly going on and that kept me blazing through the pages. If I had to pick at anything I'd say that the chapters in the bunker could ultimately drag a little, but it still made sense. I just wanted to see what was going on in the outside world as much as Missy and Kevin did. And once I did I wasn't let down.

Great quick story, lots of fun, and it's free on KU. Can't get much better than that.

[coty ☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

jeff strand please dethrone stephen king as the master of horror

[Yuzuru I. · Rating 1 out of 5]

How that get a qualification above 2 stars is beyond me.

[George Billions · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love and blood and guts and the end of the world

I’ve only read a few books from Jeff Strand’s ever-expanding catalog, and they’ve all had slightly different flavors. Dude knows how to tell stories. This one is gory and funny, with a little bit of a non-conventional love story. The chapters are short, so I kept thinking “okay, one more,” and then finished it in a sitting. Cool story about trying to survive the end of the world.

[Darren Dilnott · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there's anything i like more than zombie apocalyptic fiction, its undead with humour. Jeff Strand's hilarious An Apocalypse Of Our Own is totally brilliant. So many laugh out loud moments snuggled in nicely with the gore, make this an all round winner for me.

[Bob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another zany novella from the master of horror humor. I think my favorite character was Uncle Jake. Damn you Strand! Very highly recommended.

[Randy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love Jeff Strand. Another great story!

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this story up until the ending. The idea that the world could recover so quickly from 70 percent of it's population dying was just too unbelievable for me. Otherwise was a fun quick read.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Note, this review is for the audiobook version, which is not a choice on Goodreads.*

Look, I'm a Jeff Strand fanboy, and I've yet to be disappointed with anything he puts out, including this. But dang if the performance didn't hurt the enjoyment of this book.

Missy and Kevin are two friends who manage to make it to Kevin's uncle's bunker right when the apocalypse starts. Then, due to a comedy of events, the trio becomes a duo and Missy and Kevin are locked in said bunker without the code to escape, nothing to entertain them (not even a book!), and limited food. Good times.

As I said, Strand always delivers, and while this might not be his best work, it's still a fun jaunt into his world of madness. The majority of the novella takes place with two characters in a single room, and normally I would be bored with this sort of setup. However, it's Strand we're talking about here, and he makes it fun, bloody, and fearless. The guy just rules.

However, I would *highly* recommend you read this book as opposed to listening to it, as there are numerous issues with Nadia Mori's performance. The first is there is very little change in pitch. It's not quite robotic, but there's a lack of emotion in her read. And when there is emotion, it's...wrong. It's like a part not intended to be excited, for example, is read in an excited voice. Also, there are times when it seems she didn't know the sentence she is reading is a question, and her voice lifts at the end to compensate. This happens often. This very much feels like a cold read, and the book suffers for it. It's unfortunate, because this may be the introduction to Strand's work, and it will turn people off.

At the end of the day, I can't recommend the *audio* book, but if you dig end-of-the-world tales, pick up the Kindle or paperback version of this and you'll have a good time.

[Shannon Everyday · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jeff Strand's look at friendship during an apocalypse is both tinged with humor and drama.
Missy and Kevin are best friends who end up trapped in a bomb shelter. As each day goes by, their friendship takes twists and turns, as they live day by day. Jeff Strand captures the relationship between Kevin and Missy perfectly, in their conversations. I always enjoy his characters, and this was again, the case, in An Apocalypse of Our Own.

[Marcus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jeff Strand is a peculiar author for me. He has really interesting (or better f* up) ideas and a sence of humor that klicks with me. BUT he seems to be rushing all of his ends. It's like 80% of the book is well thought out and than... random explanation or time lapse... end

This is the may reason I give this book only 3 stars even though I enjoyed it.