Michael Simmons, the narrator of Billy O’Callaghan’s abysmally written ghost story, tells us early on that he used to work in the art world, promoting painters and sculptors. His narrative concerns a talented young artist, Maggie Turner, whom he “discovered” and then represented for many years. Although fragile and dreamy, Maggie could be counted on to produce six to eight fine paintings a year, and Michael could always find buyers. All that changed when Maggie got involved with a suave but abusive financier. A final beating by this man landed her in the hospital. After being released, she traveled to Ireland for a change of scene and to continue healing.
Most of O’Callaghan’s novel is focused around the ruined cottage that Maggie purchases in the southwest of Ireland. Boasting a spectacular view of the sea and the sky, the cottage dates back to famine times. There are standing stones nearby, and Maggie believes she can produce some extraordinary work here in this magical place where the past and the present co-exist. Once costly renovations have been completed, Maggie invites Michael and two female friends to stay for a weekend. Alison, the owner of a Dublin art galley, will eventually become Michael’s wife. Liz, a poet who lives in a nearby town, is committed to writing an epic work about ancient Ireland. She is interested in both history and the occult. It’s not surprising, then, that she brings along a homemade Ouija board so that the friends can make contact with any spirits who might be lingering about the place. And make contact they do.
At first, the spirit, who calls himself “The Master”, communicates in Irish, which Liz knows only a smattering of, but he obligingly switches to English. Ultimately, Maggie taps into his energy, becoming a sort of medium. In hushed, hypnotic tones, she channels details about the troubled history of the area and about the man who inhabited the cottage long before her. Some familiar details about the famine are presented, but there are some surprises, too. The Master, it turns out, wasn’t just a school teacher. As the famine worsened, he resurrected dark pagan practices in an effort to appease the gods of old.
As it happens, the séance allows The Master to re-enter the human realm. He takes up residence in the cottage that used to be his. Maggie, not surprisingly, deteriorates.
All this seems like a decent enough premise for a work of fiction. A capable writer might have shaped it into a good short story. O’Callaghan is not a capable writer. First of all, his novel is more padding than plot. Second, he has poor control of his material. Michael is one of the most dimwitted narrators I’ve ever encountered. When he hasn’t heard from Maggie in some time, he flies from London to Ireland, hires a car, and drives to the southwest, only to find that Maggie is not at home. Her cottage is squalid and riddled with vermin. The stench of death and decay is overpowering. There are dark and chaotic canvases lying about that don’t look a bit like Maggie’s work. Soon enough Michael discovers Maggie down by the shore—painting. She’s emaciated, hollow-eyed, disheveled, and rank smelling. She won’t let Michael stay overnight after his long drive because “the Master wouldn’t like it.”
What does Michael do when confronted with this person whom he has long looked upon as a little sister—a person who is now clearly deranged? He drives away quickly, reasoning that if he stayed he might unhinge his friend further. Are you kidding? It turns out Liz has also been to see Maggie several times and is aware of the artist’s physical and psychological deterioration. Liz, too, has done nothing. Again: what is it with these people?
Don’t get me started on O’Callaghan’s writing. The author provides no end of entirely inconsequential details. We get descriptions of the colour of the real estate agent’s hair and her early menopausal flushed face; an account of the number of strips of bacon, sausage links, and eggs on a breakfast plate; and information about the golden lower left cuspid, the heavily lidded eyes, and the restless mouth of a Caribbean taxi driver. I could go on. Don’t worry; I won’t, but I will ask: why include these particulars?
I’ll finish with a few of O’Callaghan’s more priceless passages, which would seem to indicate either complete tone-deafness to the nuance of words or a total inability to use a thesaurus correctly:
“The charred stench [from the ruins of the burned cottage] felt complete in its invasion, its stinging sharpness realigning the shape of her [my wife’s] face, and almost certainly my own, into a domineering rictus.”
“the wound lay open as a treacle blackness hiding pearly yellow secrets inside.” (No, these are not typos)
“My blood pressure was brimming against some dangerous numbers.” (Since when did blood pressure “brim”?)
“She sat perfectly still, her tossed, straw-coloured hair hanging in flumes down her back and around her narrow shoulders. Her voice had a forced calm that quivered along its lowest edges.” (flumes? the lowest edges of a voice?)
And, finally, regarding how police officers deal with missing-persons cases:
“Handling such relentlessly grim statistics demands coldness. The sheer scale and quantity of the reports will crush all but the most hardened of hearts, and embracing cases on a personal level would be tantamount to suicide.” (“embracing” cases?)
Warning: reading this book might be tantamount to the same thing! Do not “embrace” it!
Seldom do I encounterwriting of such poor quality. I don’t really care about the ghost story at this point; what I want to know is how this novel was even published.