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Hot Damned #9.5
A Fashionably Dead Diary
Getting blackmailed sucks. Getting blackmailed by Satan into ghost writing his autobiography/romance really sucks—hard.
But I’m not a weenie or a welsher. I’m a semi-materialistic, Prada lovin’ Vampyre-Demon with a bad attitude and a serious lack of cheating skills. If I were a good cheater, I wouldn’t be in this heinous position. I lost and now I have to pay. However, the price might deplete the wavering amount of sanity I have left…
So I’m turning to you, Dear Diary, to pour out my inappropriate feelings and murderous inclinations toward a family member who shall remain nameless. Who in the Hell am I kidding? I’m gonna name that butthole over and over on these secret pages. It’s Satan or Lucifer or the Lord of Darkness or the Dark Angel—or, as I like to call him, Uncle F%#ker.
That’s why I have chosen you, Dear Diary. You don’t have a mouth as far as I know and if you do, I’ll remove it—violently. Please keep that in mind as I tell you all my secrets. I’ve dealt with talking books and walls and they’re a real pain in the ass. So if you turn out to be one of those, we’ll have a problem.
Sit back. Relax and get ready for a Hellish ride.
But I’m not a weenie or a welsher. I’m a semi-materialistic, Prada lovin’ Vampyre-Demon with a bad attitude and a serious lack of cheating skills. If I were a good cheater, I wouldn’t be in this heinous position. I lost and now I have to pay. However, the price might deplete the wavering amount of sanity I have left…
So I’m turning to you, Dear Diary, to pour out my inappropriate feelings and murderous inclinations toward a family member who shall remain nameless. Who in the Hell am I kidding? I’m gonna name that butthole over and over on these secret pages. It’s Satan or Lucifer or the Lord of Darkness or the Dark Angel—or, as I like to call him, Uncle F%#ker.
That’s why I have chosen you, Dear Diary. You don’t have a mouth as far as I know and if you do, I’ll remove it—violently. Please keep that in mind as I tell you all my secrets. I’ve dealt with talking books and walls and they’re a real pain in the ass. So if you turn out to be one of those, we’ll have a problem.
Sit back. Relax and get ready for a Hellish ride.
99 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 1, 2017
282 people are currently reading
444 people want to read
About the author
Robyn Peterman
95 books3,265 followersRobyn writes because the people inside her head won’t leave her alone until she gives them life on paper. Her addictions include shoes (the expensive kind), Coke with extra ice in a styrofoam cup, and bejeweled reading glasses.
A former professional actress, she now lives in the south with her family and too many animals to count. Writing gives her a chance to have a job where working in her P.J.’s is acceptable. You can follow Robyn at http://www.robynpeterman.com and at Facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Robyn-P....
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
February 10, 2026
5 stars
Robyn Peterman has once again delivered a paranormal fever dream, and this time we get it straight from the secret diary of a Prada‑loving Vampyre‑Demon who has absolutely had it. A Fashionably Dead Diary is pure, unfiltered chaos — the kind that only happens when Satan blackmails you into ghostwriting his autobiography slash romance novel. Honestly, I’d rather fight a horde of feral were‑chihuahuas, but our heroine? She’s stuck with Uncle Lucifer and his ego the size of Hell.
The diary format is perfection. Every entry is a meltdown wrapped in couture, sprinkled with murderous fantasies, and delivered with the kind of unhinged honesty only a demon with nothing left to lose can muster. She’s ranting, she’s spiralling, she’s threatening to rip the mouth off her diary if it dares talk back — and I was cackling the entire time.
Lucifer, meanwhile, is at his absolute worst (so, his best). He’s dramatic, demanding, and fully committed to being the biggest butthole in the underworld. The fact that she calls him “Uncle F%#ker” with the same energy most people reserve for “Steve from accounting” is iconic. Their dynamic is pure dysfunctional family gold.
The humour is feral. The insults are art. The chaos is biblical. And the entire thing reads like someone handed a demon a glitter pen and said, “Sweetie, journal your feelings.” She does — violently.
This novella doesn’t try to be deep. It doesn’t try to be serious. It exists solely to let one woman vent about her psychotic family, her terrible life choices, and the fact that she cannot cheat to save her undead soul. And honestly? It’s glorious.
If you’re already invested in the Hot Damned universe, this is another deliriously fun detour into the madness. If you’re new, you will be confused, alarmed, and spiritually unprepared — but you’ll laugh anyway.
Sit back. Relax. And enjoy the diary of a demon who deserves hazard pay.
Hellish ride, indeed.
Robyn Peterman has once again delivered a paranormal fever dream, and this time we get it straight from the secret diary of a Prada‑loving Vampyre‑Demon who has absolutely had it. A Fashionably Dead Diary is pure, unfiltered chaos — the kind that only happens when Satan blackmails you into ghostwriting his autobiography slash romance novel. Honestly, I’d rather fight a horde of feral were‑chihuahuas, but our heroine? She’s stuck with Uncle Lucifer and his ego the size of Hell.
The diary format is perfection. Every entry is a meltdown wrapped in couture, sprinkled with murderous fantasies, and delivered with the kind of unhinged honesty only a demon with nothing left to lose can muster. She’s ranting, she’s spiralling, she’s threatening to rip the mouth off her diary if it dares talk back — and I was cackling the entire time.
Lucifer, meanwhile, is at his absolute worst (so, his best). He’s dramatic, demanding, and fully committed to being the biggest butthole in the underworld. The fact that she calls him “Uncle F%#ker” with the same energy most people reserve for “Steve from accounting” is iconic. Their dynamic is pure dysfunctional family gold.
The humour is feral. The insults are art. The chaos is biblical. And the entire thing reads like someone handed a demon a glitter pen and said, “Sweetie, journal your feelings.” She does — violently.
This novella doesn’t try to be deep. It doesn’t try to be serious. It exists solely to let one woman vent about her psychotic family, her terrible life choices, and the fact that she cannot cheat to save her undead soul. And honestly? It’s glorious.
If you’re already invested in the Hot Damned universe, this is another deliriously fun detour into the madness. If you’re new, you will be confused, alarmed, and spiritually unprepared — but you’ll laugh anyway.
Sit back. Relax. And enjoy the diary of a demon who deserves hazard pay.
Hellish ride, indeed.
June 1, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This really was a cute and funny short story. Although it make me wonder and hope that this is the introduction of a new character. I will read on to see.
This really was a cute and funny short story. Although it make me wonder and hope that this is the introduction of a new character. I will read on to see.
December 27, 2017
Bat Shit crazy
Totally insane. Totally crazy. Just totally, totally fantastic. This was an awesome read and a great slice of life. Cannot wait for Satan’s book to come.
Totally insane. Totally crazy. Just totally, totally fantastic. This was an awesome read and a great slice of life. Cannot wait for Satan’s book to come.
January 13, 2023
Dead diary was awesome
Astrid and Satan are 2 of my most favorite characters from this series. I can't wait for book ten. Satan has finally found his soul mate and that evil bitch Fate is going down!
Astrid and Satan are 2 of my most favorite characters from this series. I can't wait for book ten. Satan has finally found his soul mate and that evil bitch Fate is going down!
January 14, 2018
Lol this was quite funny! The twist in the end was great too! And yet again: the Devil's book merits at least two "shut up & take my money" gifs.
December 2, 2017
I was laughing from the first page to the end.
First of all, if you haven't read Fashionably Flawed, DO NOT READ this book before you read Fashionably Flawed. There are tons of spoilers.
I absolutely loved this book.
It was a laugh riot. I can just see Astrid's eye roll at Satan, and Satan's grin as he fills his pockets with office supplies.
You will love this book, but even better, you will fall even deeper in love with these characters.
A great read for that evening you need a pick me up of laughter.
First of all, if you haven't read Fashionably Flawed, DO NOT READ this book before you read Fashionably Flawed. There are tons of spoilers.
I absolutely loved this book.
It was a laugh riot. I can just see Astrid's eye roll at Satan, and Satan's grin as he fills his pockets with office supplies.
You will love this book, but even better, you will fall even deeper in love with these characters.
A great read for that evening you need a pick me up of laughter.
December 2, 2017
Laughed till I cried, really!
OMG I'm serious, tears of laughter and coughing my backside off!!
I am so grateful for this FDD it told it so more in-depth from Astride POV. Freakin awesome!!!
Can't wait for the second instalment of UF!
But damn March next year 😵😵 that's just cruel Mrs Peterman Zahn lol.
Okay, I adore Sheila! Please get her outta that curse NOW.
Okay, I'm off for re read now hubsters huffed off to bed ;)
OMG I'm serious, tears of laughter and coughing my backside off!!
I am so grateful for this FDD it told it so more in-depth from Astride POV. Freakin awesome!!!
Can't wait for the second instalment of UF!
But damn March next year 😵😵 that's just cruel Mrs Peterman Zahn lol.
Okay, I adore Sheila! Please get her outta that curse NOW.
Okay, I'm off for re read now hubsters huffed off to bed ;)
December 1, 2017
LOVE IT!
I love this diary.
It is a hilarious, fun, and short read.
It even got a little deep, which was awesome!
It was totally Robyn Peterman.
If you love the Hot Damned Series then this is a must for your collection.
Let's just hope Bobo from Finding Bigfoot don't get his hand on it. LOL
I love this diary.
It is a hilarious, fun, and short read.
It even got a little deep, which was awesome!
It was totally Robyn Peterman.
If you love the Hot Damned Series then this is a must for your collection.
Let's just hope Bobo from Finding Bigfoot don't get his hand on it. LOL
December 3, 2017
Love this little excerpt into Astrid’s brain and Satan’s life!! Laugh out loud fun from Robyn Peterman’s warped brain. Perfect insanity!
December 17, 2017
I loved this little extra in the series! I laughed so much at Astrid`s diary entries but really loved the surprise at the end! Would love more on that!
December 12, 2017
Great reads
I am so happy when I find books that are free and they turn out to be wonderful series that's what this one was and I was really lucky that after the first one was free from reading that one I got the second one for free and now I've been buying them ever since or whenever I can I buy them I read up to the Christmas one and I jumped ahead and bought the diary wish you was much longer is a books always make me laugh I think she's hysterical until her characters I recommend buying the series you'll enjoy it I know I read a lot and I certainly do
I am so happy when I find books that are free and they turn out to be wonderful series that's what this one was and I was really lucky that after the first one was free from reading that one I got the second one for free and now I've been buying them ever since or whenever I can I buy them I read up to the Christmas one and I jumped ahead and bought the diary wish you was much longer is a books always make me laugh I think she's hysterical until her characters I recommend buying the series you'll enjoy it I know I read a lot and I certainly do
December 5, 2017
Another fanfreakingtastic book. I get so excited when a new Robyn Peterman book shows up in my kindle. I was reading this one while I was getting my oil changed and laughing my ass off. Were people looking at me like I was crazy? Um yeah, that’s the kind of enjoyment I get from reading these over the top series. Now please give us Blade Infernos book, I’m dying to read it.
March 30, 2020
Love it
I am a huge fan of Robyn Peterman and the Hot Damned series. Astrid is a fun character and you gotta love her Uncle's obsession with Steve Perry and Journey.
I am a huge fan of Robyn Peterman and the Hot Damned series. Astrid is a fun character and you gotta love her Uncle's obsession with Steve Perry and Journey.
December 3, 2017
When you feel like reading something light and entertaining after you ate an amazing dinner and want to finish your read without staying up all night, this book is definitely the perfect dessert! Snark in diary form totally rocks and Astrid truly is my favorite book bad girl! And the epilogue....definitely the cream on that sinful dessert! Buy this, read this, Love Love Love this!
December 8, 2017
Laugh out loud fun from Robyn Peterman’s warped brain. I am looking forward to the next book.
January 18, 2018
Hilarious!
June 30, 2024
As always, this book was a wild ride. I have been out of the series for a bit but this was a good recap of a few things. It features the two characters I love most, Satan and Astrid. Sheila is a hoot and I hope she (?) plays into the series somewhere!
December 5, 2017
This is an entertaining behind the scenes look at what goes on in Astrid's mind while she is 'writing' her uncles memoirs. One thing is for sure, she doesn't have to watch her language when writing in her diary!
The ending was a nice twist, but that is all I will say so that I don't spoil it for anyone.
Well worth the read for fans of the series, but if you haven't read any of the other books, I highly recommend that you start at the beginning.
The ending was a nice twist, but that is all I will say so that I don't spoil it for anyone.
Well worth the read for fans of the series, but if you haven't read any of the other books, I highly recommend that you start at the beginning.
December 6, 2017
Hilarious
Astrid's thoughts as she is writing her uncle, the devil's, biography. Astrid is funny herself, but we also get more tidbits of what was written in the biography. And it has a surprise ending. Short but worth it if you have read the series.
Astrid's thoughts as she is writing her uncle, the devil's, biography. Astrid is funny herself, but we also get more tidbits of what was written in the biography. And it has a surprise ending. Short but worth it if you have read the series.
December 4, 2017
Funniest diary you will ever read!
Holy hell on fire, this cussfest of a diary from the mind of Astrid is everything I never knew I wanted! I laughed, I snorted, and I giggled until my ribs ached from mirth. Just read this already; its a must for all fans of the Hot Damned series.
Holy hell on fire, this cussfest of a diary from the mind of Astrid is everything I never knew I wanted! I laughed, I snorted, and I giggled until my ribs ached from mirth. Just read this already; its a must for all fans of the Hot Damned series.
January 7, 2018
Gotta love Astrid and silly Satan...
Although this was short, I enjoyed every quirky second of it! I liked the happy ending for the devil, and can't wait to see what happens next! I just knew that book was "different"! 😍
Although this was short, I enjoyed every quirky second of it! I liked the happy ending for the devil, and can't wait to see what happens next! I just knew that book was "different"! 😍
December 5, 2017
A very funny short from Astrid, she really cracks me up...lol
December 8, 2017
It was a dark and stormy night...
How do you cope when satan blackmailes you into writing his autobiography? Well you unload you troubles to a diary. I'm sure that Uncle F***** would love to read that diary.
This is a short story in the Hot Damned Series. If you're looking for a short but hilarious read this is perfect. Thoug if you haven't read the previous books in the series, then I recommend you do so first.
How do you cope when satan blackmailes you into writing his autobiography? Well you unload you troubles to a diary. I'm sure that Uncle F***** would love to read that diary.
This is a short story in the Hot Damned Series. If you're looking for a short but hilarious read this is perfect. Thoug if you haven't read the previous books in the series, then I recommend you do so first.
December 15, 2017
LOVE IT
I love EVERYTHING Robyn Peterman writes. I this book has no purpose other than to make you laugh and the is what it did. However if you haven't read any other books in the Hot Damned series (what the he11 is wrong with you) this one will make no sense to you. I love how Astrid's mind works and the stuff she comes up with floors me. I'm hoping we will get more from Shelia in the next couple of books though. Keep writing Robyn so I can keep reading.
I love EVERYTHING Robyn Peterman writes. I this book has no purpose other than to make you laugh and the is what it did. However if you haven't read any other books in the Hot Damned series (what the he11 is wrong with you) this one will make no sense to you. I love how Astrid's mind works and the stuff she comes up with floors me. I'm hoping we will get more from Shelia in the next couple of books though. Keep writing Robyn so I can keep reading.
December 14, 2017
Yes, Lucifer's threatened auto-biography is finally being written - and Astrid needs to vent as she takes dictation. So she writes a diary.
But the diary - as so often happens within this zany world is not quite what it seems and .....
Another original concept again here - just love the animate diary.
But the diary - as so often happens within this zany world is not quite what it seems and .....
Another original concept again here - just love the animate diary.
December 12, 2017
Fantastic
Loved every one of these books. Me and my sister was racing on who had the next part in the book read so we could kinda spoil it. So fun. Needless to say I won. Thanks you. Your the best. By the way first book series I have ever read. Really kept my attention.
Loved every one of these books. Me and my sister was racing on who had the next part in the book read so we could kinda spoil it. So fun. Needless to say I won. Thanks you. Your the best. By the way first book series I have ever read. Really kept my attention.
December 12, 2017
Flawlessly Hilarious... All time fave line that had me LMAO had to do be about Pee Wee lol. I truly flove your mind Robyn and can't wait for more twisted goodness!
December 9, 2017
A quick read that had me sniggering to myself like a loon while I was reading it.
I love Astrid and Satan... I could picture in my head the conversation and the eye rolling and the smiting. Can’t wait to see a bit more of Shelia!
I love Astrid and Satan... I could picture in my head the conversation and the eye rolling and the smiting. Can’t wait to see a bit more of Shelia!
December 7, 2017
Fashionably Dead Diary: Book 9.5
I absolutely love this novella. It had me laughing so much, I had tears in my eyes. I look forward to the next book in this series.
I absolutely love this novella. It had me laughing so much, I had tears in my eyes. I look forward to the next book in this series.
December 6, 2017
Robyn Peterman gives her readers a bit of insight into Astrid's frame of mind as she writes her Uncle's autobiography, in "A Fashionably Dead Diary: Book 9.5" of "A Hot Damned Series." For about a month, Astrid was stuck listening to Satan dictate to her his outrageous and detailed memories for an autobiography. To cope with the need to constantly use brain bleach she decide to pen her angst down in a diary she dubbed Shelia. In the end, there is a bit of a twist that she never saw coming.
Overall, I enjoyed this quick read. Some of the conversations that were quoted were verbatim from book nine of the series, but that was okay. There was enough new material in there to keep it entertaining and fun to read.
Overall, I enjoyed this quick read. Some of the conversations that were quoted were verbatim from book nine of the series, but that was okay. There was enough new material in there to keep it entertaining and fun to read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews