My Four Hollywood Husbands

by Joyce Bulifant

Joyce Bulifant has lived the “Hollywood life” for nearly seven decades, and through it, experienced what few outside the entertainment world can imagine. While following the path of her own successful career, Ms. Bulifant managed to navigate the choppy waters of husbands' alcoholism, codependency and an extended family of four marriages.

James MacArthur played Danno on Hawaii Five-0. Edward Mallory was Dr. Bill Horton on "Days of Our Lives.” William Asher was the famous director-writer-producer of "I Love Lucy", "Bewitched" and the Beach Party movies. Roger Perry starred in "Star Trek" and over 300 TV shows and films. He has also composed music for Barbra Streisand and Bing Crosby.

Along the way Bulifant managed to command the spotlight for her own accomplishments. As Gavin MacLeod’s wife Marie on “The Mary Tyler More Show”, a concerned mother in the movie “Airplane”, dancing with Fred Astaire, and her reoccurring role on “The Match Game.”

My Four Hollywood Husbands is a rare peek into what happens off the screen. It’s a story of love, a lasting love that is woven through the fabric of the world of entertainment. It’s also a story about perseverance and overcoming obstacles—and that happy endings are indeed possible.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

292 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 5, 2017

Reviews

[Mediaman · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an entertaining life story but told with gaps, missing details, and self-denial. The approach of the book, which focuses on the four famous men she married, is an intriguing, unique structure. Instead of the focus being on Joyce, it's on the men she fell in love with (except for a fifth husband, which she skips over in a few paragraphs!). Then the book suddenly comes to an abrupt end in 2002 with no details on life with her current husband.

The problems with the book are many. She has performed with or known some of the biggest names in the history of Hollywood (Walt Disney, Jane Fonda, Lilian Gish, Peter Finch, Hayley Mills, Walter Pidgeon, and the list goes on), but she tells almost no stories about them. She was married to a man who did some of the greatest sitcoms in TV history and even produced President Kennedy's infamous Marilyn Monroe "Happy Birthday" celebration, yet Joyce gives no details. She has been part of some great shows and movies, yet has no specifics about any of them. She praises pretty much everyone (with the exception of Gene Rayburn and Richard Dawson from Match Game!). She spends a lot of space talking about minute details of places where she lived, what she ate, how she decorated--none of which we care about. She is related by marriage to other famous people (Elizabeth Montgomery, Jenny McCarthy, Jo Anne Worley) and says pretty much nothing about them (how can she be the grandmother to Jenny McCarthy's famous son Evan and not even mention him???). And trying to keep track of her patched-together family is impossible (I believe she ended up with ten children or stepchildren).

The biggest problem with the book is her mistreatment of men by blaming them for her own bad choices. While I loved her as an actress, Joyce is a well-meaning basket case as a woman. She was raised (and abandoned) by a bizarre mother that kept her from her father as they traveled the country, hopping from home to home. Often she had no idea who was caring for her or would live with a paid spinster while her mother was nowhere to be found and her dad couldn't locate his daughter. Somehow this translated into her longing for a big strong male to be in her life (thus her five marriages) but Joyce then abandoned her father and kept close to her mother, who married a well-off florist. The author never explains why she would stay close to a woman who abused her for years, yet ignored the man who she claimed to have longed for. There was one period in adulthood where she didn't go visit her dad for 17 years and her kids didn't meet him! Her mother dies and she goes into great detail. Her dad dies and he gets one sentence. Nowhere in the book is this switch explained and the reader wonders why she was so close to a mother who was so horrible.

Bulifant comes across ultimately as anti-male. She bashes pretty much every man in this book. Her first husband, Helen Hayes famous son James MacArthur of Hawaii 5-0, is painted as a brooding alcoholic abuser, but Joyce never speaks up to object to anything he does. She cowers in fear of even stating an opinion, which is really her problem and not his since she did it from when she met him as a teen. If anything how she portrays how she acted toward him explains why he felt the need to raise his voice to get through to her--she was horrible at communicating or showing support. This pattern continued with her other marriages, where she falls for someone, then remains silent instead of putting up boundaries and respecting a man enough to state her feelings even if it meant conflict. She hated any type of disagreement or conflict, so would live with silent suffering then blame the men when she tired of how they acted. Joyce, if you don't tell a man exactly what you want or expect of him then you have no right to blame your failed marriages on the men when you're not happy. All of her men's issues she claims are due to drinking, but that is simplistic and doesn't address the fact that a woman who has been married five times needs to look much deeper within herself to see what her own problems are if she kept picking the "wrong guys" as she claims.

Her final husband is a Hollywood actor that appears throughout her life, from performances together to sleeping together. In their 60s they get married and the book suddenly ends. It's strange that she leaves out the next 15 years of her life.

The book is worth reading because I had no clue that this constantly-smiling supporting actress had so many famous people in her life. But the fact that she doesn't get detailed enough about anything (other than negatives about her husbands) is disappointing. No details about Mary Tyler Moore Show, the Airplane movie, or working with Bill Cosby on his first sitcom. There is so much more she could have written. Any woman that has had five husbands but titles her book "My Four Hollywood Husbands" obviously is not giving readers the complete story.

[Tetyana Skrypkina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joyce is still alive and now 86 years old.

She had four marriages, each to an alcoholic husband who abused her. But in her fifth marriage, she found happiness.

The book doesn't dwell on whining or regret over her difficult fate.

I sincerely recommend reading it!

[Danielle Urban · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Four Hollywood Husbands by Joyce Bulifant is a memoir that shows how alcoholism can affect the individual and their loved ones. This, was a bit tough to read, because someone I knew died from alcoholism. It's a real part of life. Scary when it happens someone we all know. The struggles are hard. The entire book gave an insider's view to this difficult journey. I also showed the consequences of the alcoholic's actions on others close to the alcoholic. Then, there was the hope of getting through the addiction. Struggles are a part of life. We just have to battle them, until we get to where we need to be. I liked how Joyce Bulifant demonstrated this in her writing. Overall, My Four Hollywood Husbands is a great read. It's an eye opener and one that I recommend to others. 4.5-stars

I received this copy from the publisher. This, is my voluntary review.

[Wendy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have liked to give it a 2.5. There were good parts. But you never really got any sort of impression about how she started working in the business. She just moves to New York and starts working, having only had previous experience of high school theatrics. I guess the takeaway is that her status as Helen Hayes's daughter in law opened the doors. She doesn't bring much light at all to her acting career. A shame - I always liked her when I was a child, and would have liked to know more about her interactions with other stars. She certainly was one of the lucky ones and seemed to enjoy a steady career throughout the years.

[Patrick Duran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting, unfiltered account of Joyce's four marriages. Really five marriages, but I guess the mistake of marriage number four isn't counted because I'm guessing he wasn't in the business. She doesn't name him. She had a knack for choosing or attracting the most horrible men, which is unfortunate, because I always imagined her to have such a sweet personality. Maybe they were attracted to her vulnerability. I wish the book had delved into her working relationships more, but maybe that will be the focus of her next book. Overall, a great read!

[Carol Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like reading about Hollywood personalities, you'll enjoy some of the inside looks at various celebrities. If you like reading memoir, you'll enjoy Joyce Bulifant's recollections of a life filled with successes and abysmal failures, told with truth and honesty. Most importantly, if you've dealt with alcoholism and co-dependency, you'll be inspired by the author's journey of discovery about the famous men she married and and discoveries about herself. I was both entertained and inspired.

[Sharon Tremper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and came away believing that Joyce Bulifant is the lovely person I'd always imagined her to be. But her story is filled with strength and love. She makes it easy to be happy for her "happily ever after".

I loved this book! And Joyce Bulifant! What an awesome woman and what a life! She deserves every happiness, that life has to offer.

[Laura Van · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrible taste in men...

Good story, but after the first husband, Joyce should have made sure the other husbands didn’t have a drinking problem by dating them longer.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am giving this five stars, even though it isn’t going to win the Pulitzer Prize I read it yesterday, all in one day, after not having read anything for quite some time (not like me at all) It is Joyce Bulifant’s story, but it is really a story about EVERYONE in the book. Adoptions, difficult childhoods, addictions, play a central role in everyone’s lives. Four husbands and every one of them had an alcohol problem. Tell me that this does not create chaos in the lives of her children, and the husbands’s children with prior spouses. All this happens AFTER Joyce explains her own fractured childhood and its affect on her. Do we never learn? Do we have to be 70 years old before “we get it”? Will there be another whole generation with repeating issues?
Four husband’s, yes, but this book is about a whole lot more.

[Kay Kudukis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting. It's in the vein of Jeannette Walls' "The Glass Castle" - difficult upbringing, tumultuous relationships, and a brighter light at the end of the tunnel. A wonderful star-crossed love story that spans decades of Bulifant's life. There's not a lot in here about her years as Marie Slaughter, although it briefly touches on that as well as her role in "Airplane!". This story is very personal, and sadly many women will likely see their own lives running in parallel.

It is dramatic and it encourages. Bulifant did a terrific job with her freshman novel.

[D C · Rating 4 out of 5]

A woman who married the same type of man over and over is not uncommon. But the men she married
are known to us who watch TV. Never thought Danny-O would be ... and Bill Horton ... and Roger Perry ... the opposite of the men they portrayed.

You want to blame Joyce and discount her but she is like a lot of us who’s life did not have that strong family base.

Bravo Joyce for telling your hard story.

[Linda Abuelghanam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

This is a good book when you want something that is both a quick read and an interesting book.
3 out of 4 Hollywood Husbands were not good matches. But she finally got the right one.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy memoirs, biographies, and autobiographies of show business personalities. I had no idea of the challenges Joyce Bulifant had experienced in her life, and I enjoyed learning more about her. This is a breezy read—i read it in less than two days—but enjoyable and often moving.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wonder what books like this do to the children of the person who wrote it.

[Darlene Payne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a much better book than I expected it to be. Ms Bulifant comes across as likable and down to earth and she's led a very interesting life.

[HIllary Guillory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just curious

Interested in the story behind one of the husbands, was an old friend many years ago. His former wife too

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I met Joyce when I got this book. She was very nice and is still adorable. It was a fun, interesting, and easy read, but oh, the editing! Missing words, misspelled words ("then" instead of "than"), misspelled names (Laurence Olivier & Lynn Fontanne), misnamed songs and shows ("One Singular Sensation" is the name of the song she calls "She's the One"; it's "Follow the Fellow," not "Follow the Man," and Polly Holliday starred in "Flo," not "The Flo Show.") Yes, I'm being petty, but I'm an editor and I know that any error that takes the reader out of the story is not something you want in that story. And MAYBE someone doesn't know that Olivier's name was not "Lawrence," but when you have "Somers" and "Sommers" in the same paragraph, you might guess that one of them is wrong.

This was the fault of the editor/publisher and not the author, however. The author's fault was choosing a couple of bad husbands, but she learned from her mistakes. I didn't know until I read the book that she had been in love with Roger Perry when she was quite young, so it was gratifying that they ended up together. Oh, and there are a couple of not-surprising tidbits about Gene Rayburn and Richard Dawson. :)

I especially enjoyed the information about her unusual upbringing and the depictions of Helen Hayes and Lillian Gish.

[Len Knighton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Joyce Bulifant for a long time. From her dramatic roles on television programs like Perry Mason and comedies such as Mary Tyler Moore to game shows Match Game and Password Plus, Joyce has always been a unique personality, zany and a bit ditzy.
I saw that personality in her real life dramas, and she certainly had plenty of them. Her ever present smile was her mask hiding pain, pain that began long before the husbands came on the scene.
Bulifant is open and candid about her triumphs and troubles. I often shouted at her DON'T DO THAT but by the end of the book I was applauding her responses to her husbands. Hard lessons learned were learned well.
The writing is a bit scattered. I would have liked to have seen more dates, at least years, to keep the chronology straight.
Joyce will be 87 near the end of this year; she has been widowed for six years. I don't expect to read of Husband #6 but her greatest joys came from her children. I hope that has continued.

Three Stars waxing

[Larry Sampson · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a fan of the Match Game from the 1970's I was excited to find this Joyce Bulifant's book. Although she only spends a couple of pages talking about The Match Game I was not disappointed with the book at all. Joyce writes a very honest and open book about her marriages and her family. Dealing with her first husband, James McArthur's alcoholism and her relationship with his mother Helen Hayes was interesting. Also her marriage to William Asher who wrote the Beach Party movies and was the producer of Bewitched was interesting reading. Joyce told her side of the stories about her four marriages and did not go into the personal lives of the husbands outside of their relationship to her which was an honest approach in my opinion. I finished with a new respect for the Joyce and hope she has found happiness at last.

[Clint · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always liked the smiling, seemingly happy television and movie actress of the 50s-80s, but there were five marriages, four to Hollywood types, and a lot of unhappiness behind those smiles. Nevertheless, despite extensive therapy, she kept marrying the wrong guy, but her upbeat attitude and her faith kept her going. Her last marriage, to an old beau, lasted until his death. Her easy, breezy story is filled with lots of Hollywood names, a fierce love for her children (and her husbands’ children) and a real survivability. The book, which has a couple of errors and lacks enough timeline dates, sounds like her. And that’s a good thing.

[Tonya Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable read

When I first heard of Joyce Bulifant, memories of her as the bubbly blonde on Match Game come to mind. She is an amazing person who was loved by four different men who, unfortunately, dealt with alcoholism. Good read

[Bonney Teti · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's much more to the funny lady we see on the game shows. While 4 marriages are quite a few it seems as though she played her best hand throughout them. Very interesting read.

[Joey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first biography! a good read it rlly gives you insight on the dynamic of relationships back in the 60s! Such pigs for men and naive women😀

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely chronicle of imperfect humans navigating love. And a wonderful way to get to know Joyce. I could hear her sweet voice reading it in my head.

[Linda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Joyce Bulifant’s tells her story of being married to 4 alcoholics. She is not a writer and needs a better editor.