I Want To Go Home

by Wesley Leon Aroozoo

On the 11th of March, 2011, Yasuo Takamatsu lost his wife to the tsunami during the Great East Japan earthquake. Since that fateful day, he has been diving in the sea every week in search for her.

Compelled and inspired to share his story, I Want To Go Home is a journey from Singapore to Onagawa through the lens of the intrigued to meet him. Of unlikely friendships across borders and languages; to share a man’s loss, recovery and determination to reunite with his wife.

The novel's feature film (also titled I Want To Go Home) has also been selected for the 2017 부산국제영화제 Busan International Film Festival (BIFF). This book also includes a Japanese translation by Miki Hawkinson.

Genres: Japan, Nonfiction

222 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2017

About the author

Based in Singapore, Wesley Leon Aroozoo is an artist with 13 Little Pictures, an educator with LASALLE College of the Arts and is pursuing his PhD at the RMIT University in the School of Media and Communication. Wesley received his Master of Fine Arts in Dramatic Writing from New York University and Bachelor of Fine Arts (with honours) in Digital Filmmaking from Nanyang Technological University.

A Singapore Book Awards Winner, Busan International Film Festival Mecenat Award Nominee, NUS Singapore History Prize Nominee and Epigram Books Fiction Prize Nominee, Wesley’s award winning works span across literary arts, film, television, performance and theatre.

Reviews

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, many thanks to the author for sending me a copy of his book in exchange for an honest review.

At one glance at the synopsis, this book sounds so good to me and very moving. Then, when I started reading it, the writing style and the way the book was being laid out was different from I anticipated. It was nothing bad about it, it was simple and straightforward but I was imagining this book is being written in, maybe like a biography of Mr. Takamatsu, whom is our main character. It wasn't a book that I would normally read.

However, as I went deeper into the book, I got closer to the author's journey on getting to know Mr. Takamatsu and his story about his wife after a tsumani that hit Japan in 2011. It was a true story and Mr. Takamatsu's story was very moving and it really gives hope to the readers. There were so many values being conveyed through his story and I do think that everyone should give this book a chance and maybe you'll learn something unexpected.

Also, this book comes in two languages, comprised in one book. However, I can't read Japanese but if you could read Japanese, that's a bonus for you because you get to experience it in two languages, maybe the story will give you different kind of experience and emotion.

[Naaytaashreads · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Your loved one will always be waiting for you just as eagerly as well too, no matter what. It may be a long wait. Be it in this life or after. I know in my heart that Yuko is waiting for Mr Takamatsu too. To embrace him. Hold him. And take him home."

I always tell myself, who am I to you know give a rating to a non fiction book that was based on a true story.
The story itself is beautiful but it took me a while to get used to it of reading the story Mr Takamatsu and having the writer always relating back to his personal life.
But overall, the book broke my heart.
I am a sobbing mess right now.

I just expected a story of a person who just lost someone to a natural disaster.
But oh boy, I didn't expect so much emotional to break my heart.
I know the story was going to be sad and emotional but I thought I was ready for it but I wasn't.
Living in Singapore, I am fortunate enough that Singapore doesn't have much natural disaster that we have to think about. So we don't have to worry about such things.
So I always took advantage of emergency evacuation and everything.
But now I realise, just how important it is.

I truly respect Mr Takamatsu for what he has been doing after the Tsunami for his Yuko.
I can't imagine the strength he has to overcome everyday after the disaster and diving to find his wife.
I thought he was just diving to find Yuko because she was his wife.
But after reading the message Yuko send on "I want to go home" there was so much more to everything then just finding his wife.
I can totaly relate to the author on how he always relate back to his personal life because you realise "What will I do If I was in that position"
It's so important to always be there for your love one because you never know what can happen next in life.
I wouldn't know what I would do if I was Mr Takamatsu.

"His reply was simple. He dives because that is the only way he can feel close to Yuko again."

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating: 3.5 stars

Initial thoughts: Added half a star for the photographs in the centrefold. I enjoyed learning a little bit more about life in Japan, and more specifically Onagawa. I also liked that the author added reflections about the different stages of his journeys. They gave more insight into who he was as a person. However, at times the connections were quite tenuous — perhaps he meant to show the randomness our minds pursue at times?

Mr Takamatsu seemed like a delightful person to meet and it was interesting to read about how he came to dive. His forlorn but positive outlook on life after loosing his wife to a tsunami made me think more about my own life and what I wish to achieve, much in the same way the author thought about his.

I just wish that I had felt more invested in I Want To Go Home. While reading, I felt detached, and was easily distracted. I had a hard time focusing on more than a few chapters at a time. When it came to the second half, I forced myself to read to the end, not allowing myself to get up until I read the last line. That’s something I’m quite sad about because Mr Takamtsu’s story isn’t one to take lightly.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

On March 11, 2011, Yasuo Takamatsu of Onagawa, Japan lost his wife to the tsunami. Yuko was on the roof of her workplace when the waves swept her away. She is still missing. Her husband learned to dive so he could search for her, week after week, in the sea.

Mr. Takamatsu’s devotion made it into several international newspapers and deeply moved Wesley Leon Aroozoo, who reached out to him. After much back and forth, Aroozoo, translator Miki Hawkinson and cinematographer Jon Chan made their way from Singapore to Onagawa in June 2015, where they trailed Mr. Takamatsu for a week. The result is this book, and an hour-long documentary of the same name.

Reading I Want to Go Home is like listening to a good friend talk about his travels, except the nature of Aroozoo’s trip makes it more solemn and reflective than a standard travelogue. The narrative is simple, straightforward and slightly scattered, mirroring his thought process as he takes in the devastation in Onagawa and Mr. Takamatsu’s quiet grief, and relates it back to his personal experiences and his own love for his wife, Shengjuan. I poured over the photos, especially those of Yuko in her wedding kimono and the last text message she sent her husband before her disappearance. (Her phone was miraculously found at the foot of the building.)

To sum it up, it’s a short, sweet, sobering travelogue and tribute to the Takamatsus (don’t be taken aback by the thickness of the book - half of it is a Japanese translation; it was important to Aroozoo that Mr. Takamatsu be able to read it too.) I really want to watch the documentary now, to see all the drone footage Aroozoo mentions. I feel like book and documentary were meant to complement each other.

[Aya Prita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although it feels like a scattered journey notes, somehow it matches the puzzle piece. Wesley's journey notes feels like it is intertwining with Yasuo Takamatsu's story to find his missing wife from 311's great tsunami. Glad that I've stumbled upon this book already.

[ywanderingreads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first saw this book being reviewed by a bookstagrammer. Reading her review made me add this to my tbr immediately and I am so glad to finally have a copy in my hands. Although this is a very short book, the message within really broke my heart.

This is a non-fiction which follows Wesley and his team’s journey from Singapore to Japan to meet Mr Takamatsu for the first time. Mr Takamatsu lost his wife, Yuko in a tsunami that hit Onagawa in 2011 but her body was never found. Even then, Mr Takamatsu never gave up looking. He learned to dive so he could continue his search week after week. He held hope in his heart that he will find her one day and bring her home. I like that the story doesn’t sensationalise Mr Takamatsu, instead he is just an ordinary man living a mundane life in search of his missing wife. This story also focused on negligence that could have prevented loss of lives and about seeking justice.

I knew the story would be sad and emotional but oh how my heart broke each time Mr Takamatsu talks about Yuko. I was especially broken when Mr Takamatsu showed us Yuko’s last message to him which is what kept him going. His determination and love for Yuko is admirable and touching. “I want to go home.” Her request was so simple and yet Yuko never made it home. I can feel her sadness and longing in that message. What must be going through her mind in the final moments before the tsunami swept past? So many ‘What ifs’ and ‘if only’ went through my mind…

Although this was Mr Takamatsu’s story, I love that Wesley injected his own narration and thoughts in his writing. I find some of his thoughts were messy and some narration could be omitted but I honestly wouldn’t change a thing because it really made the story more personal. I also enjoyed reading snippets of Wesley’s life and how he could relate to Mr Takamatsu especially his love for his wife, Shengjuan. Through his reflection, it made me question, “What will I do if I were Mr Takamatsu?” I honestly don’t know if I can find the same strength and determination but what I do know is, he made me want to cherish my loved ones even more.

“Your loved one will always be waiting for you just as eagerly as well too, no matter what. It may be a long wait. Be it in this life or after. I know in my heart that Yuko is waiting for Mr Takamatsu too. To embrace him. Hold him. And take him home." - Wesley Leon Aroozoo

[Joanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was one of the few books that I knew I would enjoy just from reading the first paragraph.

I Want To Go Home is a haunting read about losing someone who you love very much. There are many accidents, natural disasters and many lives being lost every day, leaving their loved ones behind and to hear it from Mr. Takamatsu’s perspective of how his days are after losing his wife to the Japan tsunami in 2014 caused by the earthquake, it was heartbreaking.

Wesley Leon Aroozoo was a great narrator. Despite this being about Mr. Takamatsu’s story, Wesley made it his own with his narration and his thoughts. The way he wrote really made me feel as if he was a journalist and I was watching a documentary, which I enjoyed. Through his writing, I was able to relate to him quite a bit. How he worded his anxiety of the radiation, meeting Mr. Takamatsu and his messy thoughts were great things to include since it not only help us to understand the narrator’s true feelings but also made it more believable.

I liked that it was also informative about the earthquake in case some people may have forgotten about it or not known about it and the traditions in Japan. There were many things he could’ve just skipped out on but would have not had the same effect on the reader. That was a great move on his part.

For most of the part, the narrator added his own two cents and related to his own life which may have not sat well with some of the readers. However, I really liked the personality of the narrator and he made it so much more than just non-fiction book centered around Mr. Takamatsu. It was about his own story and that was what made it interesting.

[Sana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm still in shock and awe of love and respect that Takamatsu-san has for his wife. He is still diving every week in 2021, almost 2022 now in a search for at least something that belongs to his wife. I've seen small interviews of Takamatsu-san and he has his wife's phone at least. But the last message she sent to him absolutely shattered my heart. He said himself that it was more of a casual message like "Are you alright? I want to go home". But the last words sounded like a prophecy. And he said in an interview that every time he dives, he feels like she's somewhere near and that he wants to bring her home finally. I don't think I even have a right to judge this book. May his wish finally come true in 2022.

p.s. Also I really love that this book was also translated into Japanese. As someone who's studying it, I feel like there'd be more depth to it while reading it in the original language. So ありがとうございました。And my infinite thanks to the author who captured the story.

[Jose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that one of the best aspects of this book is the way it is interpreted. It is hard to expect much narrative or personality from such a short book, yet the book will leave you wanting to hear more from these people you believe to have met.

[Anna Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

On 11 March 2011, the Great Tohoku Earthquake struck and sent a tsunami of epic proportions obliterating life as was known 10km inland. I was in Chiba when it struck, shocked by the travelling tremors that hit our area at about 6 on the richter scale. We stayed out of the building for 5 hours in the cold waiting to see if it would be deemed safe to return to and spent the next few days horrified to find out the extent of the disaster in other parts.

I was early in pregnancy and frightened about a possible nuclear meltdown that could result in me losing a baby I had wanted for such a long time. Mr Takamatsu had just dropped off his wife at the bank. I left Japan and gave birth and hold my girl every day. Mr Takamatsu never saw his wife again.

The writing is primarily documentary-like but the mostly matter-of-fact tone is also reflective and insightful. To me, the style is like traditional Japan. No show of overt emotions but where the light catches, glimpses of deep pain and love stunned me.

At the end, I couldn't help but make a silent prayer for the main character that his spirit one day find peace.

I love that the book is bilingual and I hope one day to be able to read it in Japanese.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25

Didn’t expect this to be my first read of the year! A huge thank you to the author for sending me a copy of this book! The author didn’t specify for me to write a review of his novel and this review is based on my own opinion.

I didn’t know what to expect going into this book - it’s one of the first local books I’ve read in awhile and I’m truly amazed at how much I actually enjoyed reading it! I love how we’re able to get a glimpse of both Singaporean and Japanese’s culture. This novel really touched my heart and I find tears in my eyes as I was relaying some parts of the story to my boyfriend. Some of the paragraphs really made me stop, think and reflect about life. It was also a quick and inspiring read.

I wish we were able to read more about Mr Takamatsu! It would also be great to have caption below every photo included in the novel.

Nonetheless, I Want To Go Home was a touching read and I can’t wait to reread again to add on my annotations on every page that had inspired me.

[Joely · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a record of love.

Aroozoo seems like a somewhat clumsy chap, from his description of himself in the book. I also found his writing to be a little clumsy, but in a slightly charming way. The book starts off quite slow, but then picks up as the audience comes to understand more of Mr. Takamatsu's story with Mrs. Takamatsu. It wasn't Aroozoo's writing that captured me, but Mr. Takamatsu's story in and of itself.

One point that I would like to note that was done well, is how Aroozoo manages to let readers know Yuko, through Mr. Takamatsu, while narrating in first-person.

TLDR:Not recommended for someone looking for really artistic writing, but for meaningful content.

Bonus:
The mentioned compositions
"Yuko Takamatsu" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5E382...
"Jupiter" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnK3k...

[Dawne L · Rating 2 out of 5]

A heart-warming exploration of one individual's experience with the March 2011 tsunami and a brief look at how it affected the lives of the people in the small town of Onagawa. The haunting pictures that accompany it supplement the story well and I really love the format of having the Japanese version going from right to left and the English from left to right.

[Jun Jie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read novels, biographies, and history written in past tense, it took me a few chapters to get used to reading short stories in present tense. While the essence and intent gives readers something to thing about - love and loss, the writer spent a significant part describing his journey of a week. I was hoping to get much more connected with the lives of the protagonist and it's people. For a short story, there are a few parts that kept me at the edge of the seat.

[Shengjuan · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting story-telling of a true story, with bits of humour to just sparingly lighten the dark subject of loss and tragedy. A passionate piece by an indie author, worth supporting!

[Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely biographical novel that sheds light on the lift after the disaster of the 3/11 tragedy in Japan. Highly recommended.

[Tairachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

In 2011, a great tsunami swept over the Japanese town of Onagawa, damaging everything in its path. Takamatsu lost his wife, Yuko, to the tsunami, and every week since this devastating event, he has gone out to sea to dive and look for her, because of the final text sent from Yuko’s mobile phone to Takamatsu: “I want to go home.”

This is the 2nd book I’ve read by Singaporean author Wesley Leon Aroozoo, the first being Bedok Reservoir. Commonalities between the two include water, death, and the supernatural.

This latest book covers Wesley’s time in Japan where he gets to know Takamatsu through Miki, a translator, and has the opportunity to interview and learn more about Takamatsu and his attempts at seeking justice in court against Yuko’s employers for failing to provide adequate instructions on fleeing the tsunami.

I Want To Go Home features an English and Japanese translation, divided by several pictures of their time with Takamatsu. A film adaptation of I Want To Go Home was made and shown at a Busan film festival. The book itself is heavy on storytelling through visuals, and reads like a script.

From my experience of speaking to Japanese people who don’t speak a word of English, and of observing trials where a court translator is needed, I’m sure it was trying and difficult to sustain lengthy, heart-to-heart conversations with Takamatsu and some things were probably inevitably lost in translation.

Personally, the book was so different from what I had anticipated (I had expected a biography), but it was nevertheless a simple and short yet moving story told from the author’s perspective. My only suggestions for improvement would be that it‘d be nice if there were more photos, if more proof-reading went into the book, and if we could have learned a little more about Takamatsu and Yuko. While I could feel the author’s anxieties seeping out of the pages, his relationship with his wife Shengjuan is both adorable and heartwarming.

Thank you Wesley @babearusian & @booksactually for sending me this book, I enjoyed it. I Want To Go Home is available from @booksactually 📚

[Rage · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps I'm saying this as someone who tells stories for work, but I think that sometimes there are stories you can't help be affected by, no matter how they are written or shared, and Yasuo Takamatsu is one of them. Mr Takamatsu lost his wife Yukio in the 2011 Japanese tsunami and continues to look for her in the sea. Is there any greater explanation of love than diving week after week to bring your loved one home?

The book is framed from the author's journey to Japan to meet Mr Takamatsu, and I think the blurb here does it a bit of a disservice, as you're reading the author's thoughts as much as Mr Takamatsu's journey. It's not a bad thing, but perhaps if this were made clearer at the start I'd have had slightly different expectations. As it is, while pairing Mr Takamatsu's story with the author's own makes sense, on occasion it comes across strange or stretched - here I'm wondering if watching the film might actually be all the more impactful, and I'm glad to hear it might be on telly soon!

The photos in the centrefold, for which I gave an additional 0.5 stars, are great and might have been integrated with the text itself like Rings of Saturn; I think that would have made the book that much more engaging and tide you over some parts. Sometimes, however, the simplicity of the writing also lends to the story, as with when Mr Takamatsu lists the five things that made Yukio special.

Ultimately, the strength and heart of the book is Mr Takamatsu and that simple, steadfast love that drives him to dive again and again. At the risk of sounding cynical - and I don't mean to here - you simply can't go wrong with a story like this. It reminds you that love does exist, contrary to the current trend of pretending that it doesn't, and through the author's empathy for the people of Onagawa, also reminds you that life will go on.

[Khin (storyatelier_) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me feel a lot of things. It doesn’t get too sentimental, and it isn’t merely about Mr Takamatsu’s tenacity in his search for his wife. I Want To Go Home is also about Wesley and his team’s journey to meeting and getting to know Mr Takamatsu over their brief visit. The story doesn’t romanticise Mr Takamatsu or paint him as larger than life; he’s a very ordinary if determined man who is seeking a form of closure after the trauma of losing a loved one. It interweaves fragments of the author’s own life with that of Mr Takamatsu and his late wife, reconstructing a narrative of what happened that fateful day when she was swept away by the tsunami. It notes the various things that could’ve been done to prevent such loss, if only people knew. It also highlights the negligence that led to unnecessary loss, and the voice of the survivors in seeking justice as it, unfortunately, continues to go on unheard. But this book isn’t exactly a documentary or biography; Mr Takamatsu doesn’t eclipse his visitors’ stories as they explore Onagawa a few years in the aftermath of the devastation. There’s something remarkable about the team who were brought together through their interest in Mr Takamatsu’s story, and the way their friendship developed over the course of their stay in Onagawa. This book left me wanting to know more about Mr Takamatsu and his search (thank goodness there’s a documentary with the same name), and hopelessly hoping that by some miracle, he’d have won the court case and found his wife at the end of the book - which is realistically next to impossible, since the author was only there for a week. But I think that’s the point. This book is about holding onto love and not losing hope, because that’s what drives Mr Takamatsu.

[Renuka Satianathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick read and a beautiful story, but I did find some of the observations the main character makes at the end of each chapter a rather stilted or overly preachy effort to connect his live with that of Takamatsu. I loved the dvpt of Takamatsu's charachter and the setting, but the development of the 3 visitors to Onagawa often felt very much more telling than showing. Still, I'd recommend giving the book a read, esp to anyone interested at all in the 2011 earthquake as this is a such a refreshing angle on that event.

[Ying · Rating 1 out of 5]

A short read at less than 120 pages.

I didn't really enjoy it, the blurb claims that the book is about a man who lost his wife in the 2011 tsunami in Japan, but so much time was spent by the author talking about things other than the man he went to Japan to interview.

The author spent too much time reflecting on his own thoughts, and not enough talking to Mr Takamatsu about why he dives etc. It was more of a reflection on the trip to Japan than a book about Mr Takamatsu.

I think I heard more about him admiring the fortitude of the photographer Jon than Mr Takamatsu.

[Denny · Rating 2 out of 5]

A pretty nice short read. The beginning of the novel starts quite slow, but it ends pretty fast somehow. It confused me whether the novel about Mr. Takamatsu or the author's trip because he put his own stories almost the same amount. As a reader, I expect to read more stories from Mr. Takamatsu. However, I enjoy the way how the author shared his knowledge and how he describes something.

[Kania · Rating 4 out of 5]

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦: 𝑝𝑖𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑢𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠
✰᪥𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬♪✩
.
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Beautifully rendered and told, with heartfelt and honest photographs accompanying the story. A bit detached at times, and it could use more background stories from Mr Takamatsu and about his wife, but perhaps the author left some parts out to protect Mr Takamatsu's privacy.

[R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Your loved one will always be waiting for you just as eagerly as well too, no matter what. It may be a long wait. Be it in this life or after. I know in my heart that Yuko is waiting for Mr. Takamatsu too. To embrace him. Hold him. And take him home” (109).

[Kara (bookishskippy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I purchased this novel from @babearusian as i read his recent work and throughly enjoyed it 😀. This is a true story which really moved me. It was a beautiful short story on how Mr Takamastu lost someone to natural disaster. To overcome this pain, he dives into the sea as a way of him expressing that he can feel close to his loved one. Having the strength to move on from this situation is very tough. Getting justice for his loss was not on his plate as well which really broke my heart 💔 😢
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I love how the author was sharing his story and relating back to his as well. A good diversity of the singapore and Japanese culture.I am very thankful to live in singapore 🇸🇬 where aren't many natural disasters but that does not mean we should take things for granted we should cherish them daily.
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[E'in Nadh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the intertwining of Mr Takamatsu's story and Wes's recollections

For a photographer Jon sleeps through sceneries a lot

[Andrea · Rating 1 out of 5]

not a story, just a series of events. nothing happens just a lot of poetic metaphors wherever appropriate.

[Jane Koh · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good short reading. Very much personal recount from the author’s point of view - easy to finish.