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Bow First, Ask Questions Later: Ordination, Love, and Monastic Zen in Japan
What happens when a free-spirited, modern American girl goes on a spiritual quest into structured, traditional Japanese Zen life?
Gesshin Claire Greenwood was a liberal, free-spirited American girl who found meaning and freedom in disciplined, traditional Japanese Zen life. However, she came to question not only contemporary American values but also traditional monastic ones.
This book is about becoming an adult—about sexuality, religion, work, ethics, and individuality—but it is also about being a human being trying to be happy. Questioning is a theme that runs throughout the how can I be happy? What is true? What is authentic? The reader is invited along a journey that is difficult, inspiring, sad, funny, and sincere.
Gesshin Claire Greenwood was a liberal, free-spirited American girl who found meaning and freedom in disciplined, traditional Japanese Zen life. However, she came to question not only contemporary American values but also traditional monastic ones.
This book is about becoming an adult—about sexuality, religion, work, ethics, and individuality—but it is also about being a human being trying to be happy. Questioning is a theme that runs throughout the how can I be happy? What is true? What is authentic? The reader is invited along a journey that is difficult, inspiring, sad, funny, and sincere.
264 pages, Paperback
Published May 8, 2018
17 people are currently reading
179 people want to read
About the author
Gesshin Claire Greenwood
2 books25 followersGesshin Claire Greenwood is the author of Bow First, Ask Questions Later: Ordination, Love and Monastic Zen in Japan. An ordained Zen priest, she spent over 5 years training in Japanese monasteries, and is currently the youngest American authorized to teach Zen.
An avid cook, dog lover, and sometimes collage maker, she blogs intermittently at http://www.thatssozen.blogspot.com. Her next book, a vegetarian cookbook and meditation on the philosophy of "just enough," is forthcoming from New World Library.
Gesshin is currently completing her master's in East Asian Studies from the University of Southern California.
An avid cook, dog lover, and sometimes collage maker, she blogs intermittently at http://www.thatssozen.blogspot.com. Her next book, a vegetarian cookbook and meditation on the philosophy of "just enough," is forthcoming from New World Library.
Gesshin is currently completing her master's in East Asian Studies from the University of Southern California.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
July 9, 2019
I have only recently become aware of Gesshin Claire Greenwood’s work, both through her blog (https://thatssozen.blogspot.com) and because I read her more recent book “Just Enough” (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...). That was when I realized I was absorbing all her material in the wrong order, but whatever. I liked what I read, so I got a copy of “Bow First, Ask Questions Later” – and I admit I got very excited when I realized Brad Warner had written the foreword. He's yet to recommend a book that I didn't like.
Greenwood and I are almost the same age, and come from very similar backgrounds (I believe she refers to her parents as reformed hippies, which is an excellent way of describing my parents as well…), and I was very curious to get her perspective of Zen practice, because while I did not have the resources to go gallivanting in India and Japan in my twenties, her path is one I would have liked to walk myself.
I admit that I started reading this with mixed feelings: sure, Greenwood’s experience sounded fascinating, but I can’t deny I was a bit jealous of it, of the opportunities for traveling and for experiencing monastic life that she’d had. I was also a bit afraid that this would be an "Eat, Pray and Love" kind of mess. But my apprehensions were quickly dissipated: her tone is friendly, approachable but also very humble and well-aware that she was in many ways, very privileged. She wrote the book with enough maturity to look back on it and see how it influenced her perspective – both in terms of cultural shock, personal neuroses and in regards to her youth.
If you have read Greenwood’s blog “That’s So Zen”, some of the material in the book will be familiar to you, as she used some of the posts as launching pads for deeper exploration of many topics. In fact, many chapters are essentially copy-paste of some old blog entries, with added context.
She tackles interesting questions and reflections I have never really seen explored in books on Zen before: the Western students’ tendency towards Orientalism (guilty, sadly...), the tricky question of authenticity when it comes to how Zen is taught and transmitted, even in Japanese monasteries, the feeling of being the only (Western) woman in a room full of (mostly Japanese) men...
I am impressed by the short passage where she admits that she and the teacher who gave her transmission fell in love, and how she made the decision to walk away from him and go live in a different monastery. Not everyone would have made that call, and I really commend her for having the clarity of mind to see the sensible thing to do in an emotionally complicated situation such as that one.
She said she wrote the book she wished she’d had read when she was twenty-two: she did a wonderful job, because I wish I’d had this book when I was in my twenties and getting interested in Buddhism and trying to figure out what that meant and what place it would take in my life. It really resonated with me, and it was very inspiring and comforting to know the weird questions that sometimes fly around my brain when I study and practice are questions someone else asked themselves, and that they found, if not answers, at least new ways of looking at things and thinking. Thank you, Gesshin! And if you are not Gesshin, read this book!
Greenwood and I are almost the same age, and come from very similar backgrounds (I believe she refers to her parents as reformed hippies, which is an excellent way of describing my parents as well…), and I was very curious to get her perspective of Zen practice, because while I did not have the resources to go gallivanting in India and Japan in my twenties, her path is one I would have liked to walk myself.
I admit that I started reading this with mixed feelings: sure, Greenwood’s experience sounded fascinating, but I can’t deny I was a bit jealous of it, of the opportunities for traveling and for experiencing monastic life that she’d had. I was also a bit afraid that this would be an "Eat, Pray and Love" kind of mess. But my apprehensions were quickly dissipated: her tone is friendly, approachable but also very humble and well-aware that she was in many ways, very privileged. She wrote the book with enough maturity to look back on it and see how it influenced her perspective – both in terms of cultural shock, personal neuroses and in regards to her youth.
If you have read Greenwood’s blog “That’s So Zen”, some of the material in the book will be familiar to you, as she used some of the posts as launching pads for deeper exploration of many topics. In fact, many chapters are essentially copy-paste of some old blog entries, with added context.
She tackles interesting questions and reflections I have never really seen explored in books on Zen before: the Western students’ tendency towards Orientalism (guilty, sadly...), the tricky question of authenticity when it comes to how Zen is taught and transmitted, even in Japanese monasteries, the feeling of being the only (Western) woman in a room full of (mostly Japanese) men...
I am impressed by the short passage where she admits that she and the teacher who gave her transmission fell in love, and how she made the decision to walk away from him and go live in a different monastery. Not everyone would have made that call, and I really commend her for having the clarity of mind to see the sensible thing to do in an emotionally complicated situation such as that one.
She said she wrote the book she wished she’d had read when she was twenty-two: she did a wonderful job, because I wish I’d had this book when I was in my twenties and getting interested in Buddhism and trying to figure out what that meant and what place it would take in my life. It really resonated with me, and it was very inspiring and comforting to know the weird questions that sometimes fly around my brain when I study and practice are questions someone else asked themselves, and that they found, if not answers, at least new ways of looking at things and thinking. Thank you, Gesshin! And if you are not Gesshin, read this book!
December 3, 2020
I like and respect Gesshin Claire Greenwood very much, but there were too many exclamation points and pithy quips meant to be funny for my personal taste. This was too bad, because there were many good things about this memoir. When it boils down to it, "Bow First..." is about a reasonably well-adjusted young person who is able to throw themselves into the thing they love the most and do well at it because they had the privilege and stability growing up to manage themselves. Sure, she battles a bit with depression, but it's covered in a couple chapters, then it's not talked about again. Honestly, I suspect this is just me being picky and a bit jealous that I wasn't together enough in my twenties to devote myself fully to the study of Buddhism when I was in India, and instead ended up having a mild breakdown and returning to the States sooner than I would have liked. C'est la vie.
December 20, 2020
Loved it.
October 25, 2022
Learned a lot about monastic zen and what it means to be a nun/monk. I listen to a lot of dharma talks on Youtube/Buddhist podcasts, and all of the monks/nuns all seem so humble, unaffected by material desires, composed... sometimes so seemingly enlightened to the point that I question if someone so self-absorbed and rash as myself should bother with my practice. After reading Gesshin's memoir, I learned that I don't have to be perfect to practice Zen Buddhism, I just need to show up.
"For nuns at Nisodo, there was no time to pursue enlightenment. We threw it away, and what was left was the whole world in front of us."
"For nuns at Nisodo, there was no time to pursue enlightenment. We threw it away, and what was left was the whole world in front of us."
August 12, 2018
Bow First, Ask Questions Later is a memoir by Gesshin Claire Greenwood, a white woman from San Francisco, who ordained as a Zen monk in Japan at the age of 24 years. She talks about her experiences in the monastery, as a student, as a teacher, as a questioner. And she does so with openness and humor.
Simply running down the table of contents was fun, and yes, the book is named for one such chapter. It implied that I would be brought on a spiritual journey and would laugh along the way.
I loved this book. I loved learning about Greenwood’s experiences, but even more I loved her exploration of faith, trust, surrender, and what enlightenment really means. I especially love that she was able to approach all of this with humor. She takes her practice very seriously, but not herself.
She opened up about some of her experience with depression and ways she attempted to deal with it. She talked about the differences in different countries’ monasteries. She talked about how wearing the robes made her feel in different situations. She even talked about sex.
Greenwood is also a great questioner. She questions Buddhism and practice in a way that shows the depth of how much she wants to understand it all at a core level.
This book is smart and funny, which makes for a very engaging read.
Simply running down the table of contents was fun, and yes, the book is named for one such chapter. It implied that I would be brought on a spiritual journey and would laugh along the way.
I loved this book. I loved learning about Greenwood’s experiences, but even more I loved her exploration of faith, trust, surrender, and what enlightenment really means. I especially love that she was able to approach all of this with humor. She takes her practice very seriously, but not herself.
She opened up about some of her experience with depression and ways she attempted to deal with it. She talked about the differences in different countries’ monasteries. She talked about how wearing the robes made her feel in different situations. She even talked about sex.
Greenwood is also a great questioner. She questions Buddhism and practice in a way that shows the depth of how much she wants to understand it all at a core level.
This book is smart and funny, which makes for a very engaging read.
August 15, 2018
The main thing I took from this was a better understanding of the perspectives and practices of the Zen priest I know who was trained in Japan. Basically, Zen training in Japan appears to be an even more extreme form of the long-term hazing that happens to graduate students. I don't get it, and I'm not convinced it's a helpful or positive thing. This was solid and the author has potential, but I thought the quality of the insights, and the incisiveness of the prose in which they were presented, was still pretty low. I look forward to her fourth book.
July 9, 2018
I’ve waited many years for a book, and more importantly, an author who could speak to me about the uncertain path of this life. I cannot adequately explain the impact of this book. I can only say that it affected me initially at a visceral level, in the gut. Like having cold water or a blast of heat hit me. Then I felt it reach my chest and heart, which is where it has stayed. I feel now a new joy and calm acceptance without diminishing or quenching the thirst of the search.
November 16, 2018
I saw her interviewed on you tube, on Brad Warner's (Zen Monk) Hardcore Zen show, and thought she was interesting, and has had an interesting journey. Read the book, and, as I hoped, it was in fact, an interesting tale of how she became a Zen monk / Nun, living in two different Monasteries in Japan. The challenges, and fluctuation from happiness to frustration, to joy, was a pleasant testament to authentic vulnerability.
March 6, 2019
"What about the great matter of life and death? What can I take with me when I die?"
This is in the category of spiritual memoirs; I loved following Gesshin Claire Greenwood's journey, and her honest thoughts as a zen practitioner. I'm still thinking about the questions she raised.
This is in the category of spiritual memoirs; I loved following Gesshin Claire Greenwood's journey, and her honest thoughts as a zen practitioner. I'm still thinking about the questions she raised.
October 19, 2018
Very interesting read. I appreciated her views on feminism with respect to monastic life. Don't think I'm cut out to be a zen nun.
November 18, 2018
I loved this book. My mom.and I shared it for a read and it proves a wonderful discussion about the spirit and love.
December 25, 2019
Honest and Heartfelt
A good read that feels more like a discussion. Though I would have like more detail in some areas, this book touched me in its honest and humble prose.
A good read that feels more like a discussion. Though I would have like more detail in some areas, this book touched me in its honest and humble prose.
April 7, 2022
Engaging and insightful, without pretending to have all the answers.
June 7, 2025
Riveting!
I couldn’t put it down. I read almost the whole book in one sitting. Fascinating and very interesting…much more than I expected.
I couldn’t put it down. I read almost the whole book in one sitting. Fascinating and very interesting…much more than I expected.
May 31, 2018
Well written, and an enjoyable read. I found a little bit too "light". Anecdotes from her life intermingled with contemplations on Buddhism and life, but both topics stopped without going the full length. Possibly a reflection of the fact that a lot of the writings started out as blog posts?
Regardless, what's there is valuable and enjoyable, and definitely a perspective and experience that is difficult to find elsewhere.
Regardless, what's there is valuable and enjoyable, and definitely a perspective and experience that is difficult to find elsewhere.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews