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Hers to Protect
Kaia Sorano is a police officer in the dangerous and gang dominated streets of Chicago. She thinks she's prepared for anything, but when she responds to a bloody domestic violence call, only to find her high school sweetheart is the victim, she knows she has to find a way to help.
When Adrienne Contreras's mother moved her to the south side of Chicago at seventeen, she quickly saw her safe life and idealistic love with Kaia replaced with poverty, crime, and violence. Now twenty-seven, Adrienne is dating Gianna, a high-ranking member of a brutal gang. She has the streets figured out, but the first rule is to never talk to cops, even one she used to be in love with.
As their attraction grows into love, Adrienne and Kaia struggle to see past the changes in each other and escape Gianna and the gang, who have threatened both their lives.
When Adrienne Contreras's mother moved her to the south side of Chicago at seventeen, she quickly saw her safe life and idealistic love with Kaia replaced with poverty, crime, and violence. Now twenty-seven, Adrienne is dating Gianna, a high-ranking member of a brutal gang. She has the streets figured out, but the first rule is to never talk to cops, even one she used to be in love with.
As their attraction grows into love, Adrienne and Kaia struggle to see past the changes in each other and escape Gianna and the gang, who have threatened both their lives.
Kindle Edition
First published June 1, 2018
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175 people want to read
About the author
Nicole Disney
8 books133 followersNicole is a lifelong storyteller who is happiest when exploring the hidden corners of life. She lives in Denver, Colorado, where she is a collector of jobs that inspire her writing. She has worked as a 911 operator, police dispatcher, and martial arts instructor. Nicole loves words that hit hard and stories that linger. She has written literary fiction, contemporary LGBT, short stories, and flash fiction.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
June 3, 2018
The actual story wasn’t bad, but I found I just could not connect to the book. Some parts were very exciting, especially the climax of the book, but I could not shake this feeling that the book was not working for me like it should. I think the author Disney has potential but I have to stay with the just okay rating.
This book is extremely violent. We’re talking blood everywhere, knife wounds, gun shots, brain matter leaking out of crack skulls kind of violence. Joc mentioned in her review that it felt almost Quentin Tarantino-esque, and I have to agree with her. I don’t mind that kind of pumped up explicit violence. Heck Pulp Fiction was one of my mother’s favorite movies. I can’t even tell you the number of times I watched that and the Kill Bill movies. My point is it wasn’t the violence that bothered me, but be prepared if you are considering reading this.
There are two main characters. One is a police officer and the other is a drug dealer. Again having a main character this is a criminal didn’t bother me. I love Ally Vali’s Cain Casey mobster series and Ashley Bartlett Cash Braddock series about a drug dealer. What stopped me from really enjoying the book was I could not connect with the characters. In between all this violence is a romance, but I found myself just not really caring about it. When the whole book is about how someone could die at any minute, not caring about the characters does not really work.
This is a very violent but exciting read that just did not come all together for me. The potential is definitely there I just needed more of a connection with the main characters. While this book didn’t work for me like I hoped, I would give Disney another chance.
An ARC was given to me by BSB, for a honest review.
This book is extremely violent. We’re talking blood everywhere, knife wounds, gun shots, brain matter leaking out of crack skulls kind of violence. Joc mentioned in her review that it felt almost Quentin Tarantino-esque, and I have to agree with her. I don’t mind that kind of pumped up explicit violence. Heck Pulp Fiction was one of my mother’s favorite movies. I can’t even tell you the number of times I watched that and the Kill Bill movies. My point is it wasn’t the violence that bothered me, but be prepared if you are considering reading this.
There are two main characters. One is a police officer and the other is a drug dealer. Again having a main character this is a criminal didn’t bother me. I love Ally Vali’s Cain Casey mobster series and Ashley Bartlett Cash Braddock series about a drug dealer. What stopped me from really enjoying the book was I could not connect with the characters. In between all this violence is a romance, but I found myself just not really caring about it. When the whole book is about how someone could die at any minute, not caring about the characters does not really work.
This is a very violent but exciting read that just did not come all together for me. The potential is definitely there I just needed more of a connection with the main characters. While this book didn’t work for me like I hoped, I would give Disney another chance.
An ARC was given to me by BSB, for a honest review.
May 18, 2018
I’m finding this novel difficult to review because there are two sides to it and for me they didn’t gel. On one hand it’s the story of two women who were teenage lovers and now find themselves on opposite sides of the law but still drawn to each other. On the other it’s a gritty, violent story of out-of-control gang politics and the ongoing fight against it.
I enjoyed the gang warfare side so much more than I did the romance. Kaia is called out to a domestic abuse incident to find the woman being beaten, Adrienne, is her ex-lover and her abuser, Gianna, is a high-ranking member of the Wild AK gang. Needless to say, Adrienne doesn’t want to press charges but Gianna is arrested anyway for resisting and assault.
Nothing is held back in describing the violence and disregard for the law and I often found myself seeing the action through a Quentin Tarantino-esque lens (and I am an unashamed fan of Tarantino). I was riveted by the drama and the craziness of the gang members’ motivations and behaviour. Then came the interactions between Kaia and Adrienne and I found myself getting bored. Everything was suddenly too clean, sometimes didactic and just lacking in fire. I struggled to relate to them and never quite knew who they were as individuals. The biggest shock came when I realised I was rooting for Gianna (not in the context as the abuser but as a gang leader) and it dawned on me that I had come to understand her better.
Adrienne was an interesting character with so much potential when she was with Gianna but once she was put with Kaia she became bland. There didn’t seem to any residual trauma from the abuse and she spoke like someone from a clean-living middle class family as opposed to a drug-dealing gang ‘wife’.
I could easily have given this four stars for the action and plot line, in spite of the incredible violence, but as a romance it fell flat for me.
Book received from Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for an honest review.
I enjoyed the gang warfare side so much more than I did the romance. Kaia is called out to a domestic abuse incident to find the woman being beaten, Adrienne, is her ex-lover and her abuser, Gianna, is a high-ranking member of the Wild AK gang. Needless to say, Adrienne doesn’t want to press charges but Gianna is arrested anyway for resisting and assault.
Nothing is held back in describing the violence and disregard for the law and I often found myself seeing the action through a Quentin Tarantino-esque lens (and I am an unashamed fan of Tarantino). I was riveted by the drama and the craziness of the gang members’ motivations and behaviour. Then came the interactions between Kaia and Adrienne and I found myself getting bored. Everything was suddenly too clean, sometimes didactic and just lacking in fire. I struggled to relate to them and never quite knew who they were as individuals. The biggest shock came when I realised I was rooting for Gianna (not in the context as the abuser but as a gang leader) and it dawned on me that I had come to understand her better.
Adrienne was an interesting character with so much potential when she was with Gianna but once she was put with Kaia she became bland. There didn’t seem to any residual trauma from the abuse and she spoke like someone from a clean-living middle class family as opposed to a drug-dealing gang ‘wife’.
I could easily have given this four stars for the action and plot line, in spite of the incredible violence, but as a romance it fell flat for me.
Book received from Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for an honest review.
October 4, 2018
3.5 stars
While the reviews on this we good, at least from Amazon, I wasnt fully wowed by it. I did like the main characters but I didnt feep as attached to them as I would have liked and I honestly dont know what could have been done to make me like them more. The pace of the story was good and things did not linger in one space for too long. I am a bit sad at how abruptly the ending came about and wanted to read more about the aftermath. What happens with Kitchen? What about WAK? What does life look like for Adrienne now that she's not dealing? Things like that. Maybe there will be another book. I hope there is another book because i did enjoy the ride the story took me on. 3.5*
While the reviews on this we good, at least from Amazon, I wasnt fully wowed by it. I did like the main characters but I didnt feep as attached to them as I would have liked and I honestly dont know what could have been done to make me like them more. The pace of the story was good and things did not linger in one space for too long. I am a bit sad at how abruptly the ending came about and wanted to read more about the aftermath. What happens with Kitchen? What about WAK? What does life look like for Adrienne now that she's not dealing? Things like that. Maybe there will be another book. I hope there is another book because i did enjoy the ride the story took me on. 3.5*
December 3, 2018
I fell deep inlove with Kaia, the confidence everything about her just drew me to her..... I absolutely adored the romance between Kaia and Adrienne, they were the ride or die couple, would literally do anything to save each other from dying...... The book is an absolute fav, I loved everything about it.... I can't wait to read more from Nicole Disney
May 19, 2018
Oh boy...this was raw with way more domestic abuse, senseless crime, unlikable jerks, and detailed description of bodily violence that seemed unnecessary. A little more subtlety would have engaged me more than the continual gruesome descriptions. If this were a movie, I would have been covering my eyes. Adrienne Contreras, a product of not feeling loved and as a result made some jacked up decisions. Kaia Sorano, feeling loss but knows she wants to make difference as a police officer. Some would say, what do you expect. This is a read about gangs and where there are gangs, there is gang violence. Apart from the gang violence, the story was interesting with the interaction between Adrienne and Kaia. There was a strong bond between them and it was particularly interesting to watch Adrienne deal with the decisions she made in her life and whether or not a change is needed.
ARC provided by Bold Strokes Books, Inc. via NetGalley
ARC provided by Bold Strokes Books, Inc. via NetGalley
June 16, 2018
I recieved this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Warning: Graphic details of violence, murders and bloodshed in general. There are also one or two spoilers so proceed with caution.
This was a very conflicting book to read. On one hand there are cops who are after a gang due to a domestic abuse tip off and on the other hand we have a major drug trafficking gang who's activities are discussed.
This book kinda felt like Game of Thrones to me. I know it's a very wierd comparison but it works in my head. In Game of Thrones you spend a lot of time in the grey zone as you have favourite characters, who may or may not be a villain. Like I love Ramsey Bolton, inspite of him being a sadist and completely evil, or Cersei Lannister Inspite of her being the definition of malice. Similarly I spent most of my time reading this book in that very zone. I found myself liking the gangsters more than the so called protagonists.
I don't know what the author started out with, as this wasn't the run of the mills crime fiction. A majority of the book, you could say almost half of the book is from the gang members' perspective. I think this is the reason I was sympathising with the gang. Inspite of them being violent and prone to bloodshed, I could relate to what they were thinking. There was a lot of talk of loyalty and it kinda gets carried on throughout the book.
Now coming to our protagonists, I am not saying that they were bad characters, it's just that the way they handled things was kinda annoying. I did not like Adrienne up until the climax, and it was mostly because she was pretty useless till then. Her views on everything are so skewed and she seems to be kinda stupid. Kaia on the other hand was a wierd cop. She is a lawful officer, but some of the things she did pushed the boundaries of right and wrong. But then again she redeemed herself in the climax.
What I liked: The writing was great. Except for the lack of connection between a few scenes, the writing was not that bad. In fact I think I would actually read more books by this author. The climax was bloody brilliant (no pun intended). I won't spoil it but damn that was amazing. I also loved a few gang members.
What I didn't like: The way the whole plot was put forward. I felt this nagging me through out the book, that I couldn't keep track of what was happening. I think this might be because of the fact that I did not read this book continuously, I split it out over 3 days. There was lot of gap between two consecutive readings and had to like recall what was happening. I also felt that there was a lot of loose endings which weren't tied up. I think there needs to be a novella or something to tie em up. There were also a lot of unrealistic things towards the end of the book, especially the part where Kaia is stabbed and she still manages to gun down so many people in the end. That didn't make sense to me but eh it's fiction and anything can happen.
My rating: I was initially going to give this book 3 stars and call it a day, but then increased it to 3.5 stars as the climax was awesome. But since I can't give 3.5 I will be rounding it off to 4. I'd say this is a one time read, for a marathon reading session, as it's difficult to finish over days.
Warning: Graphic details of violence, murders and bloodshed in general. There are also one or two spoilers so proceed with caution.
This was a very conflicting book to read. On one hand there are cops who are after a gang due to a domestic abuse tip off and on the other hand we have a major drug trafficking gang who's activities are discussed.
This book kinda felt like Game of Thrones to me. I know it's a very wierd comparison but it works in my head. In Game of Thrones you spend a lot of time in the grey zone as you have favourite characters, who may or may not be a villain. Like I love Ramsey Bolton, inspite of him being a sadist and completely evil, or Cersei Lannister Inspite of her being the definition of malice. Similarly I spent most of my time reading this book in that very zone. I found myself liking the gangsters more than the so called protagonists.
I don't know what the author started out with, as this wasn't the run of the mills crime fiction. A majority of the book, you could say almost half of the book is from the gang members' perspective. I think this is the reason I was sympathising with the gang. Inspite of them being violent and prone to bloodshed, I could relate to what they were thinking. There was a lot of talk of loyalty and it kinda gets carried on throughout the book.
Now coming to our protagonists, I am not saying that they were bad characters, it's just that the way they handled things was kinda annoying. I did not like Adrienne up until the climax, and it was mostly because she was pretty useless till then. Her views on everything are so skewed and she seems to be kinda stupid. Kaia on the other hand was a wierd cop. She is a lawful officer, but some of the things she did pushed the boundaries of right and wrong. But then again she redeemed herself in the climax.
What I liked: The writing was great. Except for the lack of connection between a few scenes, the writing was not that bad. In fact I think I would actually read more books by this author. The climax was bloody brilliant (no pun intended). I won't spoil it but damn that was amazing. I also loved a few gang members.
What I didn't like: The way the whole plot was put forward. I felt this nagging me through out the book, that I couldn't keep track of what was happening. I think this might be because of the fact that I did not read this book continuously, I split it out over 3 days. There was lot of gap between two consecutive readings and had to like recall what was happening. I also felt that there was a lot of loose endings which weren't tied up. I think there needs to be a novella or something to tie em up. There were also a lot of unrealistic things towards the end of the book, especially the part where Kaia is stabbed and she still manages to gun down so many people in the end. That didn't make sense to me but eh it's fiction and anything can happen.
My rating: I was initially going to give this book 3 stars and call it a day, but then increased it to 3.5 stars as the climax was awesome. But since I can't give 3.5 I will be rounding it off to 4. I'd say this is a one time read, for a marathon reading session, as it's difficult to finish over days.
April 26, 2021
If you like action packed thrillers then this book is for you. The last fifty pages alone make this an awesome book. However, I must mention that the epilogue was a little too handy in tying up the lose ends.
Nicole Disney is quickly becoming one of my favourite authors. Her stories are gripping with unique and likeable characters. And lots of action. From the first sentence she has your interest.
Caution as there is lots of graphic violence*************
⭐️4.5
Nicole Disney is quickly becoming one of my favourite authors. Her stories are gripping with unique and likeable characters. And lots of action. From the first sentence she has your interest.
Caution as there is lots of graphic violence*************
⭐️4.5
June 29, 2018
Adrienne and Kaia were were lovers in high school, but many years down the road Kaia is a cop and Adrienne is a gang leaders girlfriend. A domestic abuse call brings Kaia back into Adrienne's life, and she's determined to help out. But Adrienne doesn't trust cops, and getting out of the gang world is no easy feat. Can Kaia take down one of the strongest gangs in Chicago, and will she be able to save the love of her life?
So much happened in this book I don't even know where to start! I have no idea how this author brought to life this vibrant, gritty, world that (at least for me) is so foreign to my day to day life. But this book was brilliantly written, so that I was in every single moment of the book, seeing, hearing, smelling every single detail. I'll say it again. Brilliant. All the twists and turns in the plot were all well thought out and logical. There was no moment where I had to suspend disbelief.
I really enjoyed all the changes in POV, it allowed me to really get lost in the book and experience every fascinating moment. The characters were all really well fleshed out, and I found myself rooting for unexpected people. I didn't feel as strong a connection to the romance side of the this book, but it was sweet none the less.
The final fight scene was absolutely incredible. One of my favourite ever experienced in a book. The perfect climax for a perfect book.
This book is pretty violent, but it was well done in my opinion. Trigger warnings for abuse though.
I received an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
So much happened in this book I don't even know where to start! I have no idea how this author brought to life this vibrant, gritty, world that (at least for me) is so foreign to my day to day life. But this book was brilliantly written, so that I was in every single moment of the book, seeing, hearing, smelling every single detail. I'll say it again. Brilliant. All the twists and turns in the plot were all well thought out and logical. There was no moment where I had to suspend disbelief.
I really enjoyed all the changes in POV, it allowed me to really get lost in the book and experience every fascinating moment. The characters were all really well fleshed out, and I found myself rooting for unexpected people. I didn't feel as strong a connection to the romance side of the this book, but it was sweet none the less.
The final fight scene was absolutely incredible. One of my favourite ever experienced in a book. The perfect climax for a perfect book.
This book is pretty violent, but it was well done in my opinion. Trigger warnings for abuse though.
I received an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
November 11, 2021
Just too bloody, too WTF and too uninterested in life to make it one to recommend. Too far outside my comfort zone, I suppose. Sorry.
July 12, 2018
An honest review thanks to NetGalley. This was a great fast moving story; it does have a lot of violence, bloodshed, and abuse. Though as this story focuses on a gang in Chicago, this was expected. This book dug deep into the workings of a gang and the relationship dynamics that gangs create, as well as the police side of gang activity. The journey that both Adrienne and Kaia went through was exciting and kept me turning page after page. I am excited to read more from Disney in the future.
May 21, 2019
I want more thrillers like this one!
It’s been a while since I’ve read a romantic thriller that kept me so invested in the story from the first page until the very last word! I can’t believe that I argued with my kindle while I was devouring this fast paced and riveting page turner but I did. I tagged along with Kaia and Adrienne when they took on the WAK gang and boy, oh boy, did this author give me vivid descriptions of Chicago and the ruthless gang members who ran the streets. I also had a front row seat to the scorching passion Kaia and Adrienne shared. I must admit that this superb author struck a wonderful balance between the romance, suspense and thriller aspect of the story. I really hope that this author releases another romantic thriller soon!
It’s been a while since I’ve read a romantic thriller that kept me so invested in the story from the first page until the very last word! I can’t believe that I argued with my kindle while I was devouring this fast paced and riveting page turner but I did. I tagged along with Kaia and Adrienne when they took on the WAK gang and boy, oh boy, did this author give me vivid descriptions of Chicago and the ruthless gang members who ran the streets. I also had a front row seat to the scorching passion Kaia and Adrienne shared. I must admit that this superb author struck a wonderful balance between the romance, suspense and thriller aspect of the story. I really hope that this author releases another romantic thriller soon!
June 5, 2018
I liked this action packed story, great writing for a first time author. I could literally see the scenes flashed right in front of me.
July 17, 2018
Violence. Pretty much sums up this book. Domestic violence. Gun violence. Gang violence. Police violence. This book has it all. Along with the violence comes inappropriate relationships and sex that just seemed awkward. The romance seems forced and goes against the rest of the story.
I hate giving up on books, but I should have stopped early on instead of forcing myself to finish it.
Move along. Nothing to see here.
Hated it. Not even worth the one star I gave it.
I hate giving up on books, but I should have stopped early on instead of forcing myself to finish it.
Move along. Nothing to see here.
Hated it. Not even worth the one star I gave it.
June 1, 2018
Trigger Warning!
Before you read this novel, strap on a neckbrace because the speed of Nicole Disney’s narrative will give you whiplash.
On the surface, Hers to Protect is a story filled with fast action, blood, gore, knife fights, fire-fights, revenge, murder, kidnapping, betrayal, and sex. That said, Nicole Disney handles this complex story with finesse and a depth you do not expect from high speed writing. In the end, Hers is a powerful love story in which the lovers, separated by death and time, come together—as René Clair wrote—to form a couple. (personal communication with Robert C. Dale). I give away the ending, but it is a happy ending, one you will love because the main characters, Kaia and Adrienne, get skinned, cut, shot, shed blood for one another, and save one another’s life. Disney nails it--they deserve that feel good wrap up.
Is Hers a lesbian novel? In a radio interview with Marsha Casper Cook in May 2018 ( https://bit.ly/2Kr0JG6 ) Disney states that she writes novels with lesbians in them, but she does not write lesbian novels.
Hers to Protect is a model of such and as such gives us a look at love without messy maleness but with all the savagery, urgency, and despair two lovers feel: Adrienne pulled Kaia closer, wanting to disappear into her, to be swallowed by her…. (p.175) The passion manifests itself in language all lovers understand:
Grammar
I need an arcane dialect to talk about love.
In what script do I encode your cries as you come?
Do rhetoricians have rules for the transformation
of black lace into sweat and copulation?
Our linguistic is not subject to laws of grammar.
Still it is not hard to set us in the syntax
of the tongue all generations come to understand.
Having sex is no metonymy for perfect union.
Each melting into you is a lost language revealed:
the arch of your thigh, the brush of your lips
are not motions common to the rest of the race,
no woman in ecstasy has your beautiful face.
These private provocations can never be confined
to a language whose meanings are hard defined.
Is Disney hiding behind a stone-wall? Not on your life. She writes sex scenes better than Anais Nin, better than H. Miller, and way beyond the utterly limiting pretenses of Anne Rice. Have a look:
“Oh, I’m sure.” Kaia leaned over and kissed her. Adrienne felt swallowed by her feelings…She pushed Kaia to her back and got on top of her, spreading Kaia’s legs with her knee and pressing against her thigh. Kaia’s hands were under Adrienne’s shirt, moving up her back and pulling closer. Adrienne pushed harder…She unbuttoned Kaia’s pants and pulled them down enough that she could fit her hand inside. Kaia’s breath caught as Adrienne pushed inside her. Kaia’s nails raked down her back and Adrienne pressed deeper… (p. 189)
It’s the wisdom in the Glass-Ceiling World that we will know real equality only when the women in charge are as stupid and incompetent as the men. The sociology of Hers to Protect is very 21st Century. Kaia, a cop, is diverse, powerful, strong, smart, capable, intuitive, and a lesbian. Her cop friends accept this because she’s an Alpha Female with Alpha skills and a built-in terror-generator that stiffens her carbon-steel spine on the job while at the same time leaving her soft and vulnerable in love. In other words, Kaia is a dyke living in a cruel world where the barriers to promotion are shattered not because she’s gay, but because she’s smart and capable. This is America in an ideal state.
The speed of Disney’s writing would lead the reader to expect this dynamic—the faster, the shallower. But when she needs to, Disney slows down to create the fundamental building block of good fiction—the Image. What this means is that Disney draws character pictures with a coded deftness lets you know by the amount of ink the importance of that character. Contrast the Hernandez, Anna and Christina pictures to the Carli picture. Just by ink alone, you know you’re dealing with major characters in Hernandez, Anna and Christina, a minor character in Carli:
Hernandez: The suspect looked over her shoulder, checking her lead. She had big brown eyes, a cut on her neck, darkish complexion, maybe Hispanic, shaggy brunette hair, muscular arms heavily tattooed….The whole picture was that she was both beautiful and intimidating. (p. 14)
Carli: Carli padded in, barefoot and still groggy. Her wavy brunette hair was tousled. She’d thrown on a T-shirt that swallowed her small frame. (p. 36)
Anna and Christina: Anna and Christina came in without knocking. They were both in wifebeaters; boxers showed from the tops of low-slung jeans. They wore their tattoos like armor. They lived by intimidation and toughness above all else. They had to if they wanted to maintain control of the fifteen square blocks they’d claimed as their turf…. (p 22)
Part police procedural, part gang-life, part lesbian love story, this novel is built on archetypes that Jung and Lévi-Strauss would love—good girls/ bad boys; good cops/ bad cops; tricksters, molls, traitors, sapphic/straight, mad women on revenge quests, and knights who should be in white armor but wear Chicago PD blue. Police blue yet this is a cop story that touches a deeper malaise in America. Disney writes about relationships and family. I did a word count and came up with family thirty times. This novel reaches down into the destroyed nuclear family rampant in the first two decades of the 21st Century. Hers to Protect works into the modern need in which family, uncoupled from traditional values, means having to find a tribal connection to fill the emptiness.
In her backstory, Adrienne watched Kaia beat Adrienne’s father senseless as he was raping Adrienne. The urge to protect the lover is embedded in Kaia while the broken family is Adrienne’s weak spot. Bereft and forced to flee with her mother, Adrienne later finds family in the WAKs—the Wild AKs, a gang of both men and women:
Adrienne knew the sentiment was to her benefit, but she still didn’t like feeling like property…She’d be a person if she became a Wild AK. The gang would care about her and how she was treated. Gianna wouldn’t be able to beat her anymore because she too would be family to Anna, Christina, Marco, and all the others… (p. 22)
The quest for family is so deep in this novel that we see it working in every character. Here, Anna is talking to Kitchen, a dirty cop, as the two leaders work to balance a “dead birds” killing:
“We can all go to battle,” Kitchen said. “Both of us will lose people, come out weaker and poorer. Or you can make this right and no one else gets hurt. I’ll even let you pick the member…”
“That’s not the point. You join the Wild AKs, you’re protected, we’ll die for you. This is about family. And you want me to give a life away?” (p. 195)
Kaia, now a cop, a good cop finds her own tribe in the blues. Here, Kaia visits the hospitalized Reid after he’s beaten by the WAKs:
“I know, they told me. You okay?”
“Me? Forget that, are you okay?”
“I think I will be. I was out for the worst of it. Shit, you probably know more about it than I do. I hear I had four surgeries.”
“You did,” Kaia said. “they all went as planned. You’ve been out for two weeks.”
“Doesn’t feel like it. It’s so strange, makes me feel like maybe dying isn’t so bad, you know? You’re just gone.”
“I couldn’t handle it if you died. I barely handled this. You’re my family, Reid.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. (p. 159)
This tribal belonging with its blood cost is sacred until betrayal breaks it. In the end, Adrienne is beaten and cut by her WAK family for betraying them. Adrienne then realizes the truth when she’s beat down and bleeding:
They were losing respect for her. They were disgusted and embarrassed by her. This was their love? This was family? She hated them all. (p.75)
Technically, Disney handles this complex procedural with its psychological overlay in innovative structures that beg for a “technical” review so the curious reader can see what she has done and how she did it. A few years ago, I co-wrote The Weekend Novelist Writes a Mystery with Robert J. Ray where we uncovered several structural points that drive mystery or thriller writing—Modular scenes; triadic structure; plot tracks; object links among others.
Hers is a novel that demands both a technical analysis and a narrative one because--
It's a complex novel with complex characters.
It has flowing POV shifts that move the story along.
It has insights into a gang-world in which "lesbians" are bad-boys—itself a sociological comment on gender fluidity.
It has strong character change arcs. It has plot tracks. It has object links--all the apparatus of a mystery (every story is a detective story, every story is a love story--and this is a whale of a love story).
So, given all that how does one proceed to produce a technical analysis? First, a few Modular Scenes.
You’ve seen them in every detective/thriller ever written:
Crime scene—the opening violence
Witness interview—the woman in the gas station
Suspect list—details of the WAK gang
Suspect interview—Kaia talks to Gianna
Recreation of the crime—Kaia and Reid put it together
First Encounter—Killer and Sleuth: Kaia and Anna
Baiting the trap—setting up the gang
Closing the trap—Reid and Kaia tear into the gang
Victim’s lair—Adrienne’s house
Killer’s lair—Anna’s place
Sleuth in Danger—Kaia shot and stabbed
Sleuth’s near death—Kaia tossed out of the van
Killer-Sleuth confrontation—Kaia confronts both Gianna and Anna.
The close reader will find each of these modular scenes and more in Hers to Protect, starting with that unparalleled chase scene that begins on page 13: The figure running appeared to be female…she was tall and fast, black tank top, black pants, a blue bandana…the woman cut through the backyard and flung herself over the fence…
From that point on, prepare yourself for a high-speed novel rich with character detail, action sequences, a lot of gun play and just the right amount of sex.
Recommended highly for the lesbian/mystery lover who can’t get enough of either.
Jack Remick
Before you read this novel, strap on a neckbrace because the speed of Nicole Disney’s narrative will give you whiplash.
On the surface, Hers to Protect is a story filled with fast action, blood, gore, knife fights, fire-fights, revenge, murder, kidnapping, betrayal, and sex. That said, Nicole Disney handles this complex story with finesse and a depth you do not expect from high speed writing. In the end, Hers is a powerful love story in which the lovers, separated by death and time, come together—as René Clair wrote—to form a couple. (personal communication with Robert C. Dale). I give away the ending, but it is a happy ending, one you will love because the main characters, Kaia and Adrienne, get skinned, cut, shot, shed blood for one another, and save one another’s life. Disney nails it--they deserve that feel good wrap up.
Is Hers a lesbian novel? In a radio interview with Marsha Casper Cook in May 2018 ( https://bit.ly/2Kr0JG6 ) Disney states that she writes novels with lesbians in them, but she does not write lesbian novels.
Hers to Protect is a model of such and as such gives us a look at love without messy maleness but with all the savagery, urgency, and despair two lovers feel: Adrienne pulled Kaia closer, wanting to disappear into her, to be swallowed by her…. (p.175) The passion manifests itself in language all lovers understand:
Grammar
I need an arcane dialect to talk about love.
In what script do I encode your cries as you come?
Do rhetoricians have rules for the transformation
of black lace into sweat and copulation?
Our linguistic is not subject to laws of grammar.
Still it is not hard to set us in the syntax
of the tongue all generations come to understand.
Having sex is no metonymy for perfect union.
Each melting into you is a lost language revealed:
the arch of your thigh, the brush of your lips
are not motions common to the rest of the race,
no woman in ecstasy has your beautiful face.
These private provocations can never be confined
to a language whose meanings are hard defined.
Is Disney hiding behind a stone-wall? Not on your life. She writes sex scenes better than Anais Nin, better than H. Miller, and way beyond the utterly limiting pretenses of Anne Rice. Have a look:
“Oh, I’m sure.” Kaia leaned over and kissed her. Adrienne felt swallowed by her feelings…She pushed Kaia to her back and got on top of her, spreading Kaia’s legs with her knee and pressing against her thigh. Kaia’s hands were under Adrienne’s shirt, moving up her back and pulling closer. Adrienne pushed harder…She unbuttoned Kaia’s pants and pulled them down enough that she could fit her hand inside. Kaia’s breath caught as Adrienne pushed inside her. Kaia’s nails raked down her back and Adrienne pressed deeper… (p. 189)
It’s the wisdom in the Glass-Ceiling World that we will know real equality only when the women in charge are as stupid and incompetent as the men. The sociology of Hers to Protect is very 21st Century. Kaia, a cop, is diverse, powerful, strong, smart, capable, intuitive, and a lesbian. Her cop friends accept this because she’s an Alpha Female with Alpha skills and a built-in terror-generator that stiffens her carbon-steel spine on the job while at the same time leaving her soft and vulnerable in love. In other words, Kaia is a dyke living in a cruel world where the barriers to promotion are shattered not because she’s gay, but because she’s smart and capable. This is America in an ideal state.
The speed of Disney’s writing would lead the reader to expect this dynamic—the faster, the shallower. But when she needs to, Disney slows down to create the fundamental building block of good fiction—the Image. What this means is that Disney draws character pictures with a coded deftness lets you know by the amount of ink the importance of that character. Contrast the Hernandez, Anna and Christina pictures to the Carli picture. Just by ink alone, you know you’re dealing with major characters in Hernandez, Anna and Christina, a minor character in Carli:
Hernandez: The suspect looked over her shoulder, checking her lead. She had big brown eyes, a cut on her neck, darkish complexion, maybe Hispanic, shaggy brunette hair, muscular arms heavily tattooed….The whole picture was that she was both beautiful and intimidating. (p. 14)
Carli: Carli padded in, barefoot and still groggy. Her wavy brunette hair was tousled. She’d thrown on a T-shirt that swallowed her small frame. (p. 36)
Anna and Christina: Anna and Christina came in without knocking. They were both in wifebeaters; boxers showed from the tops of low-slung jeans. They wore their tattoos like armor. They lived by intimidation and toughness above all else. They had to if they wanted to maintain control of the fifteen square blocks they’d claimed as their turf…. (p 22)
Part police procedural, part gang-life, part lesbian love story, this novel is built on archetypes that Jung and Lévi-Strauss would love—good girls/ bad boys; good cops/ bad cops; tricksters, molls, traitors, sapphic/straight, mad women on revenge quests, and knights who should be in white armor but wear Chicago PD blue. Police blue yet this is a cop story that touches a deeper malaise in America. Disney writes about relationships and family. I did a word count and came up with family thirty times. This novel reaches down into the destroyed nuclear family rampant in the first two decades of the 21st Century. Hers to Protect works into the modern need in which family, uncoupled from traditional values, means having to find a tribal connection to fill the emptiness.
In her backstory, Adrienne watched Kaia beat Adrienne’s father senseless as he was raping Adrienne. The urge to protect the lover is embedded in Kaia while the broken family is Adrienne’s weak spot. Bereft and forced to flee with her mother, Adrienne later finds family in the WAKs—the Wild AKs, a gang of both men and women:
Adrienne knew the sentiment was to her benefit, but she still didn’t like feeling like property…She’d be a person if she became a Wild AK. The gang would care about her and how she was treated. Gianna wouldn’t be able to beat her anymore because she too would be family to Anna, Christina, Marco, and all the others… (p. 22)
The quest for family is so deep in this novel that we see it working in every character. Here, Anna is talking to Kitchen, a dirty cop, as the two leaders work to balance a “dead birds” killing:
“We can all go to battle,” Kitchen said. “Both of us will lose people, come out weaker and poorer. Or you can make this right and no one else gets hurt. I’ll even let you pick the member…”
“That’s not the point. You join the Wild AKs, you’re protected, we’ll die for you. This is about family. And you want me to give a life away?” (p. 195)
Kaia, now a cop, a good cop finds her own tribe in the blues. Here, Kaia visits the hospitalized Reid after he’s beaten by the WAKs:
“I know, they told me. You okay?”
“Me? Forget that, are you okay?”
“I think I will be. I was out for the worst of it. Shit, you probably know more about it than I do. I hear I had four surgeries.”
“You did,” Kaia said. “they all went as planned. You’ve been out for two weeks.”
“Doesn’t feel like it. It’s so strange, makes me feel like maybe dying isn’t so bad, you know? You’re just gone.”
“I couldn’t handle it if you died. I barely handled this. You’re my family, Reid.”
He reached out and squeezed her hand. (p. 159)
This tribal belonging with its blood cost is sacred until betrayal breaks it. In the end, Adrienne is beaten and cut by her WAK family for betraying them. Adrienne then realizes the truth when she’s beat down and bleeding:
They were losing respect for her. They were disgusted and embarrassed by her. This was their love? This was family? She hated them all. (p.75)
Technically, Disney handles this complex procedural with its psychological overlay in innovative structures that beg for a “technical” review so the curious reader can see what she has done and how she did it. A few years ago, I co-wrote The Weekend Novelist Writes a Mystery with Robert J. Ray where we uncovered several structural points that drive mystery or thriller writing—Modular scenes; triadic structure; plot tracks; object links among others.
Hers is a novel that demands both a technical analysis and a narrative one because--
It's a complex novel with complex characters.
It has flowing POV shifts that move the story along.
It has insights into a gang-world in which "lesbians" are bad-boys—itself a sociological comment on gender fluidity.
It has strong character change arcs. It has plot tracks. It has object links--all the apparatus of a mystery (every story is a detective story, every story is a love story--and this is a whale of a love story).
So, given all that how does one proceed to produce a technical analysis? First, a few Modular Scenes.
You’ve seen them in every detective/thriller ever written:
Crime scene—the opening violence
Witness interview—the woman in the gas station
Suspect list—details of the WAK gang
Suspect interview—Kaia talks to Gianna
Recreation of the crime—Kaia and Reid put it together
First Encounter—Killer and Sleuth: Kaia and Anna
Baiting the trap—setting up the gang
Closing the trap—Reid and Kaia tear into the gang
Victim’s lair—Adrienne’s house
Killer’s lair—Anna’s place
Sleuth in Danger—Kaia shot and stabbed
Sleuth’s near death—Kaia tossed out of the van
Killer-Sleuth confrontation—Kaia confronts both Gianna and Anna.
The close reader will find each of these modular scenes and more in Hers to Protect, starting with that unparalleled chase scene that begins on page 13: The figure running appeared to be female…she was tall and fast, black tank top, black pants, a blue bandana…the woman cut through the backyard and flung herself over the fence…
From that point on, prepare yourself for a high-speed novel rich with character detail, action sequences, a lot of gun play and just the right amount of sex.
Recommended highly for the lesbian/mystery lover who can’t get enough of either.
Jack Remick
June 11, 2018
Kaia Sorano and Adrienne Contreras grew up as best friends and young lovers when life takes an ugly turn and both girls lives go in very different directions. Kaia becomes a cop, while Adrienne falls into a life of selling drugs. They meet up again when Kaia and her partner Reid get a call out for a domestic violence call and she meets up with Adrienne who lives and loves Gianna, a high ranking member of a violent street gang who likes to beat on Adrienne. This is a really good read. Fast paced with a fair amount of action. Excellent read.
eARC via NetGalley
eARC via NetGalley
June 22, 2018
Wow, make sure you have an hour totally free to read the last 50 pages of this book. You will not want any interruptions. I just finished it and my heart is still pounding. What started out to be a "reunion romance", turned into a very interesting inside view into the running of an up and coming neighborhood gang. With all the drug dealing, gun running and revenge you can imagine. Weaved in there is a love story with life threatening devotion. I was hoping for an epilogue. I needed to know more than who survived. I needed to know what is their future. Maybe a sequel?
July 23, 2018
Love this new author. Every books she writes gets more intriguing. Super talented and I can't get enough of her.
June 5, 2018
Hers to Protect is a hard book for me to review. There are two sides to every story and seeing it told from a cops point of view and then from a gang member’s point of view was something I hadn’t seen done before. I liked that we were getting to see Kaia, Adrienne, Gianna and Anna’s story unfold but there was such a disconnect between the two main characters, it was hard to read.
I love a cop story, the violence, the gore, the gritty gang life? None of that bothered me. It was a part of this story and if it had been left out, I don’t think it would have worked at all. But if you’ve ever been a friend with a cop, if you’ve ever had cops in your family, the things Kaia did for ‘love’ they wouldn’t have done. There’s a set of values, morals and care that cops have. Kaia abandoned all of that. Does it happen in real life? Oh, no doubt that it does. But how easily she drifted over the line from lawful to unlawful because of Adrienne, it made me angry. Sure in the end Adrienne realized that not all cops were corrupt but the whole thing irked me.
Due to the above, I found their rekindled romance unbelievable. I read some pretty crazy things, like men getting pregnant crazy, but this left a bad taste in my mouth. Sure they were teenagers in love, separated by parents and tragedy but it didn’t feel real. Like maybe more internal thought? More talk between the two? I don’t know. They were missing something vital for me.
Do I think that was the over all attention and to grab your attention to make you think? I do. Disney wanted us to see the allure of gang life, how far they would go for each other and how that influenced even those not initiated into the gang yet. She showed up that cops are both good and bad. That anyone can be tempted for the right reasons.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of her romance scenes. It was super fun reading about dancing tongues every time they kissed. It was a bit of an instant replay every time they got together. (I’m sorry, that sounds really bitchy and it could be the fact I had a procedure done on my neck this morning) But seriously, give us a little more variety.
Do I believe that Nicole Disney will become an amazing author? Oh yes. She has skill and can craft a scene well but there were bits and pieces that tricked a nerve for me. Maybe this one wasn’t my cup of tea and perhaps it’ll be yours.
I love a cop story, the violence, the gore, the gritty gang life? None of that bothered me. It was a part of this story and if it had been left out, I don’t think it would have worked at all. But if you’ve ever been a friend with a cop, if you’ve ever had cops in your family, the things Kaia did for ‘love’ they wouldn’t have done. There’s a set of values, morals and care that cops have. Kaia abandoned all of that. Does it happen in real life? Oh, no doubt that it does. But how easily she drifted over the line from lawful to unlawful because of Adrienne, it made me angry. Sure in the end Adrienne realized that not all cops were corrupt but the whole thing irked me.
Due to the above, I found their rekindled romance unbelievable. I read some pretty crazy things, like men getting pregnant crazy, but this left a bad taste in my mouth. Sure they were teenagers in love, separated by parents and tragedy but it didn’t feel real. Like maybe more internal thought? More talk between the two? I don’t know. They were missing something vital for me.
Do I think that was the over all attention and to grab your attention to make you think? I do. Disney wanted us to see the allure of gang life, how far they would go for each other and how that influenced even those not initiated into the gang yet. She showed up that cops are both good and bad. That anyone can be tempted for the right reasons.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of her romance scenes. It was super fun reading about dancing tongues every time they kissed. It was a bit of an instant replay every time they got together. (I’m sorry, that sounds really bitchy and it could be the fact I had a procedure done on my neck this morning) But seriously, give us a little more variety.
Do I believe that Nicole Disney will become an amazing author? Oh yes. She has skill and can craft a scene well but there were bits and pieces that tricked a nerve for me. Maybe this one wasn’t my cup of tea and perhaps it’ll be yours.
June 13, 2018
Hers to Protect is a excellent crime/ romance novel. Kaia and Adrienne were lovers in high school when an event happened that separated them. 10 Year’s later they come into each other’s lives through a Domestic Violence call that Kaia mad her partner responded to. Adrienne is in a volitile relationship with a high level gang member and wants nothing to do with the police and can’t believe Kaia is a Police Officer.
Kaia gets herself involved with the gang task force and attempts to help Adrienne, even if she doesn’t want the help. She eventually gets Adrienne to accept help to try and help the Police. They still care about each other and things develop further. Gianna is intense and constantly trying to get to Kaia and Adrienne.
Hers to Protect was excellent and I look forward to reading more from this author. I highly recommend it. I was on pins and needles reading till the end and the action was intense.
Kaia gets herself involved with the gang task force and attempts to help Adrienne, even if she doesn’t want the help. She eventually gets Adrienne to accept help to try and help the Police. They still care about each other and things develop further. Gianna is intense and constantly trying to get to Kaia and Adrienne.
Hers to Protect was excellent and I look forward to reading more from this author. I highly recommend it. I was on pins and needles reading till the end and the action was intense.
June 18, 2018
This was my first book by Nicole Disney and I was very happy with it. It was a great mystery/thriller. I enjoy the fast forward type stories. Where the characters knew each other when they were younger and then find each other again when they are older. It allows for the storyline to really shine because the relationship is mostly developed and they can just catch up. Saying that with this story would make it very simple, because their catch up was quite a big part of the story because of the differences between who they were when they were kids and now. One is a gang leaders girlfriend and drug dealer and the other is a cop. So there was quite a gap to cross, but it was done nicely and I really did enjoy the story and the resolution. I really look forward to reading more novels by this author.
June 18, 2018
Wow! Kaia is a beast! I will not be surprised if someone picks this book for a movie. It reads like one and grips you like one. A few times I caught my mouth gaping open. Let’s be clear, this is story is about cops vs. gangsters that just so happens to include lesbians. I like that. I get bored by a book entirely focused on the romance or coming out or someone essentially begging the other person to be with them the whole book until the other gives up. I didn’t expect such smart characters either. Human characters that make you see how both gang life and cop camaraderie can be appealing. I didn’t expect to like the side characters so much and I’m glad I was able to. Anna was a surprise hit and I felt for Reid. This book was a lot of fun!
June 4, 2018
I received an ARC copy of this book by the Publisher via Netgalley and I am voluntarily leaving a review.
WOW … This book is fantastic especially seeing as this is the author’s debut novel. I was hooked right from the very first page. I loved the characters of Kaia & Adrienne. You could feel the connection with them both and I also had a soft spot for Reid. The storyline was nicely written. Plenty of action from beginning to end. This author is definitely one to look out for in the future. I look forward to reading more of her work.
5 STARS
WOW … This book is fantastic especially seeing as this is the author’s debut novel. I was hooked right from the very first page. I loved the characters of Kaia & Adrienne. You could feel the connection with them both and I also had a soft spot for Reid. The storyline was nicely written. Plenty of action from beginning to end. This author is definitely one to look out for in the future. I look forward to reading more of her work.
5 STARS
May 19, 2018
This is a gritty story of a police office, Kaia, helping her ex-lover to get out from a violent gang. Kaia and Adrienne's love story is sweet, both of them putting their lives on the line for the other in the middle of brutal drug dealers. Sometimes it doesn't matter how long it's been since lovers split up. Sometimes love is forever.
April 16, 2021
DNF... I enjoyed the plot but 65% into the book I just stopped. I don't know if my mind just couldn't take anymore violence, graphic descriptions and grim or I lost interest.
Read
May 17, 2022DNF
January 16, 2025
I Cant believe theres not a single CW for this, but here it is so no one is caught completely off guard like I effing was.
CONTENT WARNING: Rape, sexual assault and abuse by parent.
CONTENT WARNING: Rape, sexual assault and abuse by parent.
November 19, 2018
Fast paced! I couldn’t read as fast as I wished so I could find out what happened next. Well researched too, even the street names were accurate. A well-crafted, intense story.
December 5, 2025
STARS 4 stars
SPICE medium (3-4 scenes)
CHEMISTRY average
ANGST med-high
SLOW BURN no
CLIFFHANGER no
CHARACTERS Kaia and Adrienne
MY THOUGHTS
I’m a bit torn on this one. Parts of the story were incredibly intriguing, though at times I felt a slight disconnect. The gang politics sometimes overshadowed the romance, which made me feel a little lost and less engaged in the middle. But then the ending hit—and wow. It was an absolute 10/10 and gave me the energy I live for in a book. That finale alone makes the read unforgettable.
WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE CHARACTERS
Kaia’s protectiveness over Adrienne completely won me over. She wanted to shield Adrienne even when her help wasn’t fully accepted, and that fierce loyalty was incredible. And the ending—both Kaia and Adrienne were willing to face any consequence to keep each other safe. That kind of badassery had me cheering out loud.
WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE BOOK
I keep coming back to the ending because it was just chef’s kiss. Explosive, thrilling, and utterly satisfying; it was the perfect “I’ll get my girl no matter what” energy. Truly amazing.
WHAT I WISHED FOR
I would have loved a few more tender, intimate moments between Kaia and Adrienne to showcase their love in a softer light. I also struggled a bit with the handling of the childhood incident "the blaming" felt like a heavy choice that didn’t fully land for me. That said, it was resolved later in a satisfying way, which redeemed it beautifully.
TROPES
Dark, Sapphic, Opposite sides of the law, Childhood Sweethearts, Second Chance
SPICE medium (3-4 scenes)
CHEMISTRY average
ANGST med-high
SLOW BURN no
CLIFFHANGER no
CHARACTERS Kaia and Adrienne
MY THOUGHTS
I’m a bit torn on this one. Parts of the story were incredibly intriguing, though at times I felt a slight disconnect. The gang politics sometimes overshadowed the romance, which made me feel a little lost and less engaged in the middle. But then the ending hit—and wow. It was an absolute 10/10 and gave me the energy I live for in a book. That finale alone makes the read unforgettable.
WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE CHARACTERS
Kaia’s protectiveness over Adrienne completely won me over. She wanted to shield Adrienne even when her help wasn’t fully accepted, and that fierce loyalty was incredible. And the ending—both Kaia and Adrienne were willing to face any consequence to keep each other safe. That kind of badassery had me cheering out loud.
WHAT I LOVED ABOUT THE BOOK
I keep coming back to the ending because it was just chef’s kiss. Explosive, thrilling, and utterly satisfying; it was the perfect “I’ll get my girl no matter what” energy. Truly amazing.
WHAT I WISHED FOR
I would have loved a few more tender, intimate moments between Kaia and Adrienne to showcase their love in a softer light. I also struggled a bit with the handling of the childhood incident "the blaming" felt like a heavy choice that didn’t fully land for me. That said, it was resolved later in a satisfying way, which redeemed it beautifully.
TROPES
Dark, Sapphic, Opposite sides of the law, Childhood Sweethearts, Second Chance
August 27, 2022
A fun read for a day… but not a Pulitzer by any means. Had some good potential but totally went Rambo and lost integrity? I know the cop world isn’t black and white like our tv shows would like us to believe…. But it didn’t seem to take much for Kaia to go from cops are good and I’m a good cop to let me break the law and kill a couple dozen for you…. And including covering up the death of your ex….. really wasn’t what I was expecting at all from someone who’s other job is so closely involved with the police….? 🤷🏻♀️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 17, 2021
Gangs, girlfriends, cops, criminals, defenders & defectors
This is an action-packed thrill ride with gangs & girlfriends, cops & criminals, defenders & defectors in a clash between pasts & presents. Will love beat loyalty, or will loyalty overpower love? Far as this story goes, I'm never sure which one should win, but it seems more like both sides are losers? But definitely nonstop passion, whether fueled by love or hate & nobody is all good or all bad… just like real life.
This is an action-packed thrill ride with gangs & girlfriends, cops & criminals, defenders & defectors in a clash between pasts & presents. Will love beat loyalty, or will loyalty overpower love? Far as this story goes, I'm never sure which one should win, but it seems more like both sides are losers? But definitely nonstop passion, whether fueled by love or hate & nobody is all good or all bad… just like real life.
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